Participants:
Series Code: FHDD
Program Code: FHDD000001S
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00:01 Do you struggle with discouragement,
00:02 anxiety, depression, and despair, 00:04 maybe even suicidal thoughts 00:06 if you do, you're not alone and there's hope for you. 00:10 So don't go away. 00:37 Welcome to a three-part series 00:39 called Finding Hope in Depression and Despair. 00:42 And this is part one. 00:44 And we're going to talk about the problems 00:45 that a lot of people go through. 00:47 I've been through many of these issues. 00:49 My guest has gone through many of these issues. 00:52 We both have stories to tell, 00:54 and we're here to share with you 00:55 what God has done in our lives. 00:58 And we hope that 00:59 it will be a big blessing to you. 01:02 My guest is Christy Christopher. 01:04 She is a registered nurse. 01:06 She works at the Medical City Hospital 01:09 in Dallas, Texas. 01:10 She is a mother. 01:11 She's a jogger. 01:13 She's a good friend of mine. 01:15 And she's here to just share her story with you 01:18 and to talk about hope 01:20 in the midst of all kinds of problems, 01:22 which many of us have. 01:24 So or have had. 01:26 So, Christy, thank you for being here. 01:27 It's a privilege. Thank you for inviting me. 01:29 Yes. It's a privilege for both of us. 01:31 And I guess what I'd like to do at the beginning 01:34 is to have you give us a context 01:37 to where we are actually right now 01:39 at the time of this recording, 01:41 by telling us about your flight here 01:44 from Texas coming to the Spokane area 01:48 and then the Priest River? 01:50 So the flight here, it was very, almost ominous, 01:54 going to the Dallas-Fort Worth airport. 01:56 My dad flies a lot. 01:57 And so he commented and said for a Monday morning, 02:00 it's really quiet here. 02:02 So there was much less traffic, a lot less people. 02:07 The ticket counters were fully staffed. 02:09 All the staff was there, 02:10 but the people that were going to get help 02:12 and needing to check in it was pretty sparse. 02:15 So DFW it's generally a pretty packed airport? 02:19 Yes. 02:20 I used to live in Fort Worth, 02:21 my wife and I when we were first married. 02:23 And so that was the airport 02:24 that we flew in and out of a lot. 02:26 And it was always full. Yeah. 02:27 But so today it's not, 02:29 or yesterday when you flew here, 02:30 it wasn't that way. 02:32 No, not at all. 02:33 And what's the big reason for that? 02:35 The big reason right now is the Corona virus, 02:38 which is sweeping the nation. 02:40 And there are a lot of, 02:44 as were mentioned by the CDC recommendations to stay home. 02:48 So a lot of people are self-isolating 02:51 and self-distancing per the guidelines. 02:54 Right. Yes. 02:56 Those who that will be watching this 02:58 at least in the near future, 02:59 everybody knows that the, 03:01 that we are living in a Corona crisis. 03:03 We live in a Corona world. 03:04 It's now a Corona pandemic. 03:06 President Trump recently declared 03:09 a national emergency. 03:10 The virus is spreading around the world. 03:12 Different countries have gone under on lockdown 03:17 and there's just a whole host of thing 03:18 that are happening. 03:20 And by the time people watch this, 03:22 we still may be in the midst of this Corona crisis, 03:24 or maybe it will have blown over. 03:26 And nobody really knows what the future holds. 03:28 But we do know that 03:30 whether we're in it or whether we're out of it, 03:32 that the issues 03:33 that we're going to be talking about 03:35 are relevant all throughout. 03:37 And when, whenever people choose 03:39 to tune into this program, 03:40 these issues are very real 03:42 and they're going to be real 03:43 until, we believe until Jesus returns 03:47 and gets rid of sin. 03:48 And we're looking for, looking forward to that. 03:50 Amen. 03:51 So, you wanted to just share something 03:54 or you're about to say something? 03:57 Okay, well, why don't we just talk? 03:59 We want to move into depression and despair 04:02 and eventually you telling your story 04:04 and I'll tell a little bit of mine, 04:06 and let's just talk 04:08 to start out with some of the statistics, 04:10 you know, is depression a big problem in this world? 04:13 What about suicide? 04:15 Are these things going down or are they going up? 04:18 Well, according to the World Health Organization, 04:21 close to 800,000 people die every year. 04:25 That's one person every 40 seconds. 04:28 So I would say that it's going up. 04:30 And it's dying of? 04:32 Dying of suicide. Of suicide. 04:33 They take their lives. Suicide deaths. 04:35 So that's the amount of data 04:37 that's available on the WHO website. 04:40 Yeah. 04:41 And you know, do you, you told me that you do know, 04:44 you know, of people, 04:46 I don't know how closely they were connected to you 04:49 or friends or something that took their lives? 04:53 I have an ex-boyfriend 04:54 that actually took his own life here 04:58 within the last three years. 05:00 And so he took his life by suicide. 05:03 Yeah. 05:04 And my stepbrother's daughter, it was just terrible. 05:10 She did the same thing. 05:12 And so I, you know, 05:14 just about everybody these days has been touched by suicide 05:18 and, you know, people just get 05:20 so either depressed or discouraged, 05:24 their life just fall apart 05:26 and they choose to take their lives. 05:27 Other people are under medication 05:30 and that's a contributing cause, 05:32 there's a whole host of causes. 05:34 So give us just a few more statistics 05:37 as far as depression, 05:38 you know, how big is depression in this world? 05:42 Well, you were asking about suicide rates, 05:44 if they're going up or down. 05:46 Sure. 05:47 Per the CDC, 30% suicide rate 05:50 has actually gone up since 1999. 05:53 And another statistic too is 54%, 05:57 that's more than half of the people 05:58 who died by suicide 06:00 did not have a known mental health condition. 06:02 So this is vastly under reported. 06:06 Yeah, here's a headline from the CDC suicide. 06:11 This is from 2018, 06:13 suicide rates in the United States 06:15 continue to increase. 06:18 And then it talks about from 2000 to 2016, 06:23 suicide has increased 30%. 06:25 I think you mentioned that 30%. 06:27 For females age 10 to 74, 06:31 the suicide rates were higher than in the year 2000 06:34 and the same thing for males ages 15 to 74, 06:38 they were higher than in the year 2000. 06:41 And this statement here says, 06:44 it's the 10th leading 06:47 or in 2016, it was the 10th leading cause of death 06:49 in the United States. 06:51 So, you know, it's a big problem. 06:53 It's a huge problem. 06:55 And as you share your story in a little while 06:57 and I'll share some of mine. 06:59 I've struggled with those same thoughts, 07:02 you know, I'm almost, 07:04 you know, it wasn't something that I grew up with, 07:08 but I reached a point in my life, 07:11 last summer 07:13 and then a couple of summers before that, 07:16 where there were just these thoughts 07:19 inside my head telling me, 07:21 you just might as well just end it all. 07:24 And I didn't do it. 07:26 Thank God. Yeah. 07:28 And you didn't need, 07:29 I'm assuming you've struggled with some of the same thoughts. 07:32 I have. 07:34 I've taken it a step further though. 07:37 I've had five suicide attempts 07:39 and the one that had me go through 07:43 a certain program that we'll get to. 07:45 I had, I live in Texas 07:48 and so there's not as many gun laws 07:52 and things like that. 07:53 And so I had a gun 07:54 and I didn't want to make a mess. 07:57 I had struggled with alcohol 08:00 and I had been sober for six years 08:02 and I fell off the wagon for lack of a better term. 08:05 And so I drank a bottle of tequila 08:08 on my own. 08:10 Took the gun out to my backyard 08:12 'cause I didn't want to make a mess 08:13 and pulled the trigger, the gun jammed. 08:17 So... 08:21 Well, thank God. 08:22 Yes, amen. 08:24 You know, God really works in those emergency situations. 08:27 And we'll talk also later on 08:29 about how, you know, 08:31 sometimes he doesn't miraculously intervene 08:35 and people do take their lives. 08:37 And a lot of people struggle with the issue of this, 08:40 if God is really there and if He's a loving God, 08:44 why does He allow all of these things? 08:47 And how can He, you know, 08:48 how can I pray to Him 08:50 and ask Him to help me through this 08:51 and the darkness is still there. 08:53 So we'll talk about that 08:55 because I was in darkness for quite a while 08:57 and somehow, and you were too, 09:00 and somehow we both trusted the Lord. 09:03 And I want to also mention early on 09:07 that you now work 09:09 in addition to being a registered nurse 09:11 at a hospital in Texas, 09:13 you also are one of Dr. Neil Nedley's nurses 09:16 during his world famous 09:19 the depression and anxiety recovery program. 09:23 Dr. Nedley is a wonderful man. 09:25 He's written numerous books and this is one of his books 09:28 called Depression: The Way Out. 09:31 And he's an expert on depression and anxiety, 09:33 and despair and discouragement and how to help people. 09:36 And so Christy works with him. 09:38 How many sessions a year approximately 09:41 do you go to his location it's in Weimar, California, 09:45 Northern California. 09:46 And it's like what, a 10-day program? 09:49 It's 10 days. 09:50 I do have a full-time job in Texas, like you mentioned. 09:52 So what I'll do is 09:54 I'll use my vacation time to go there. 09:56 So I'm able to go about three to four times a year. 09:59 Three to four times a year. Yeah. 10:00 And so you, approximately how many people 10:03 go through each session? 10:05 It's, approximately the normal program 10:07 although the waiting list 10:09 have gotten a little bit longer. 10:11 About 24 participants 10:13 is where they like to keep the number. 10:15 But a lot of times what ends up happening 10:17 is there'll be an emerging case 10:19 that Dr. Nedley will get a call from a psychiatric hospital, 10:23 a family that is pretty desperate 10:25 at that point. 10:27 And he'll make provisions 10:28 to add them on in certain cases. 10:30 So sometimes we'll have a little more, 10:31 sometimes a little less. 10:32 Right. 10:34 And in the latter part of this series, 10:36 we're doing three programs. 10:38 Now we're just sort of introducing the topic, 10:40 then we're going to get into more of your story. 10:43 And then my story, a little bit of my story 10:45 and how we both found help and healing. 10:47 And then we're going to talk about resources 10:49 and more about Dr. Nedley's program 10:51 and how there is hope for people today. 10:53 Yes. And you see that, don't you? 10:55 And I've seen that 10:57 as you go through all these different programs 10:59 you have, Dr. Nedley has, 11:01 like you said, about 24 on average 11:03 or 20 to 24. 11:05 And what kind of problems do they have 11:09 who go through this program? 11:11 It ranges, it's anywhere from relationship 11:17 because there's typically with depression, 11:19 you'll have a relationship or a social consequence 11:22 because there's a lot of things 11:23 that we'll get into with that encompasses depression. 11:27 We see a lot of financial difficulty, 11:30 depression being the number one reason 11:33 for disability in our country right now. 11:35 So it's kind of like a cycle. 11:39 So there's the relationships, divorce, 11:41 addiction is a big one, 11:44 so there's a pretty wide range 11:46 that gets addressed in the program. 11:48 Yeah, here's a statement 11:50 from the Hope For Depression Research Foundation that says, 11:53 "Depression is a serious medical condition 11:55 that is associated with symptoms 11:57 such as melancholy, loss of pleasure, 12:00 loss of energy, 12:01 difficulty in concentrating and suicidal thoughts." 12:05 And here's another quote 12:07 from the World Health Organization, It says, 12:10 "Depression is a common mental disorder, 12:12 globally more than 264 million people 12:16 of all ages suffer from depression. 12:19 Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide 12:23 and a major contributor 12:25 to the overall global burden of disease. 12:29 So it's a big problem. 12:32 Yes. 12:35 And I was, I know that as you've gone through 12:37 these different programs with Dr. Nedley 12:39 helping people who have all kinds of issues, 12:42 you've seen some real turnaround, haven't you? 12:45 Yes. 12:47 It's my absolute passion to work in this program 12:50 and to give back. 12:52 And that's one of the greatest gifts 12:53 is to be on the front lines and see this very issues. 12:59 I mean, nothing's perfect, 13:00 but you see such a miraculous turnaround 13:03 that it's, it brings such joy to see 13:06 and it's hopeful for each one of us too as staff 13:10 and for you and I, 13:11 and it's just, it's a gift that just you can't outbless God. 13:15 So it's a beautiful transition to see people transformed. 13:18 Definitely. Yeah. 13:20 I remember when I went through his program in 2017, 13:24 there was one young girl. 13:26 I won't mention her name, 13:28 but she was probably about 19 years old, 13:31 maybe 18. 13:32 And when she first came to Dr. Nedley's program 13:36 and I was one of the participants, 13:37 I tell you, she was just like a zombie. 13:41 I mean, she would walk around and it was just like, 13:44 there was nobody up there, nobody home, she didn't talk. 13:48 She was just like, you know, 13:50 almost like a comatose person walking around. 13:54 And then as the days when wore on, 13:57 as the program continued on, 13:59 little by little life came back into her 14:02 until we got to the end 14:04 and she was laughing, 14:05 she was talking, she was smiling. 14:07 And I mean, everybody just looked at her 14:09 and just went, wow, this is a miracle. 14:12 Yeah. 14:14 This is a miracle. Yeah. 14:15 So, and I'm sure in a time of this Corona crisis 14:20 where, you know, the financial markets 14:23 have been just reeling and people are out of, 14:25 many people are out of work. 14:27 The airline industry has really taken a huge hit. 14:30 The cruise industry's taken a huge hit. 14:32 Now it's, you know, restaurants, small businesses, 14:36 sports have been canceled 14:38 and the list just goes on and on. 14:40 You know, this will probably 14:45 contribute to more anxiety 14:49 and depression and fear and possibly suicide. 14:53 So, you know, we really feel that as we're doing this, 14:57 we feel this is providential. 14:59 That we're doing this at this time, 15:00 because this is a tremendous, 15:06 almost an apocalyptic moment in American history, 15:09 in global history. 15:11 And there was never a time when people needed God more 15:14 and needed hope more and needed help more. 15:16 And so that's why we're here. 15:18 We feel like 15:20 this is a tremendous providential opportunity for us 15:23 to share the principles that people really need. 15:27 Yes. Amen. 15:29 So why don't we... 15:30 Would you like to say something else or? 15:32 No. 15:33 Okay. Yeah. Well, okay. 15:35 Why don't we just let's go back to your background 15:39 and tell us, you know, where you were born 15:41 a little bit about your early life, 15:44 your middle life, 15:45 and then we'll move into how you entered a crisis 15:50 that you said, you know, five times 15:52 you tried to take your life. 15:54 So let's just go back rewind. 15:56 Okay. 15:58 I was born in Erie, Pennsylvania. 16:02 My dad had us move around a lot 16:04 because he worked in for AT&T 16:07 and different telecommunications companies. 16:09 And so he was a computer. 16:10 He still is a computer engineer. 16:12 And so growing up, I moved around a lot. 16:14 So we weren't, lived in Pennsylvania, 16:17 Indiana, Texas, Washington state, 16:20 Florida, Tennessee, North Carolina, 16:23 and then back to Texas. 16:24 And so we've been there since '98. 16:26 So I claim Texas as home. 16:28 But growing up and moving around a lot. 16:32 Different people handle things in different ways. 16:36 For me, that was very hard to be the new kid 16:38 and have to start over everywhere. 16:41 Looking back on it now, I see it in a different way 16:44 that it was actually a blessing 16:45 because I got to meet a lot of really good people 16:47 around the country and have different experiences. 16:49 Are you an only child? 16:51 I do have a brother. 16:52 He is 11 years younger. 16:55 And so he's actually a youth pastor. 16:57 So, he and I, growing up, we took different courses. 17:01 He remained, I hate to use the word straight and narrow, 17:06 but he was, he had a goal in mind 17:09 and he went for that goal. 17:12 I kind of veered and made some poor life choices 17:15 and that took a different track, 17:17 but I'm thankful, 17:19 you know, that it brought me to where I'm at today, 17:22 as I believe I've learned a lot of things. 17:23 So you grew up in a Christian home? 17:25 I grew up in a Christian home. 17:27 Mom and dad worked together, very spiritual home, 17:31 not a lot of problems in the home. 17:33 I had a happy childhood. 17:34 So it was a good foundation growing up. 17:39 So, you know, I did have a happy childhood. 17:41 That's wonderful. 17:43 We all need that and some, and so many don't have that. 17:46 Right. 17:47 My childhood was, 17:49 I grew up in the Hollywood Hills 17:50 in Southern California 17:52 and our family was not a Christian family, 17:55 so we never read the Bible. 17:56 We never prayed. We never went to church. 17:58 We did go to synagogue every once in a while 18:00 because we were Jewish, but not really religious. 18:05 And then when I got into my teenage years, 18:08 I just went off the deep end. 18:10 I was surrounded by drugs and the entertainment industry 18:13 and long story, but it was pretty bad. 18:19 So, you know, thank God you had a good upbringing, 18:23 and mine was too. 18:24 My parents, you know, did their best 18:27 to love me and my brother and my sister, 18:30 but they had problems in their marriage 18:33 and they were, they divorced when I was 16. 18:37 And then I moved in with my dad 18:39 and my brother and sister moved in with my mother. 18:42 And because I didn't have, 18:44 you know, the guidance, 18:46 the moral guidance that I needed. 18:48 I was just a sitting duck pretty much to the temptations 18:52 that surrounded me. 18:54 And when I was 20 years old, I started reading the Bible, 18:57 this book, really, yeah, yay. 19:00 This is the book that changed my life. 19:03 So in your case you started out in a Christian home 19:06 and then you sort of went in the wrong direction. 19:09 Right. 19:11 I got into alcohol abuse 19:15 and kind of going back though, 19:17 I'd struggled with depression since the age of 12. 19:19 And so I was in and out of doctor's offices, 19:23 basically on a carousel 19:25 of trying different medications. 19:26 And so it would reach a certain efficacy 19:30 and then they would change the dose 19:31 or up the dose or try something different. 19:34 And so it was kind of like a revolving door, 19:38 you know, I'd have a little bit of relief 19:39 and I could function and it was okay. 19:41 You know, I was able to go through nursing school 19:44 and eventually working in an ICU, 19:47 intensive care setting. 19:49 But there was a lot that was still unresolved, 19:53 I guess you could say, like 19:55 just kind of this program running in the background 19:58 that I didn't really know what to call 20:00 and it became a new normal. 20:02 And so I didn't know 20:04 there was a different way to feel 20:05 or a different way to live, 20:07 because that was just kind of what I got accustomed to. 20:11 So it was difficult. Yeah. 20:13 At 12 years old, you said you first got depressed 20:16 or you've been struggling with depression 20:17 since you were 12. 20:18 Right? 20:20 So, I'm just curious. 20:21 If you can explain a little more about, 20:24 you know, why would a 12 year old girl 20:27 growing up in a Christian home, 20:28 in a good family? 20:30 Do you know why you started struggling with depression? 20:34 And what did that look like 20:35 when you were just a little girl? 20:37 At that age I don't believe I had the terminology 20:42 to know what it was. 20:44 I just knew that something wasn't right. 20:45 And so mom and dad didn't know what to do. 20:48 And so they took me to the primary care doctor. 20:51 And so it wasn't anything that, 20:52 you know, I went to mom and dad said, 20:54 hey, you know, this is what's happening. 20:56 They just knew something wasn't right also. 20:58 So they relied on the PCP to diagnose that. 21:03 And then you were diagnosed as having depression? 21:05 Yes. Yeah. 21:07 So do you, now looking back, 21:08 do you, can you put your finger, 21:10 you said there was a program running in your background 21:12 or in your mind, is that what you're referring to? 21:13 Yeah. 21:15 So, I mean, can you put your finger on, 21:16 what was that program telling you? 21:18 Do you know why that happened? 21:19 Was it just because of the spiritual battle 21:21 that we're all in, 21:22 or were there any events 21:24 that, you know, 21:25 kind of tipped you in that direction? 21:28 Or do you know? 21:29 I mean at the time, 21:31 you know, I didn't have a real good understanding, 21:34 so I don't really know, 21:36 you know, having gone through some other things 21:38 and having learned some things about depression 21:41 that I know now, 21:42 I see what it could have been, but at the time we didn't know, 21:45 like there's a lot of things, 21:49 that it was just kind of a low lying dread. 21:53 At that age, typically, 21:54 most kids want to get out and play 21:55 and, you know, be involved, which I did do some of, 21:59 but I would have been okay 22:00 just kind of hanging out in my room, 22:02 not really going outside. 22:04 So there was just some telling signs that it, 22:06 you know, depending on what you compare it to, 22:09 it wasn't normal per se. 22:10 You became more of a hermit. Right. 22:13 You like to be alone. Right. 22:15 And were you just down? 22:17 Yeah, and just kinda wanting to listen to music rock. 22:22 I got really into rock music. 22:24 And so that became, kind of, my comfort 22:26 is media and rock music and things to distract, so. 22:31 Yeah. 22:33 And some of those rock and roll songs 22:35 contribute to suicide. 22:36 Yes. And I used to listen to a song. 22:38 I remember when I started smoking marijuana 22:41 when I was 14 years old. 22:42 And then I started getting into drinking 22:44 and the parties, et cetera. 22:46 And I remember one song I still remember the words, 22:49 don't fear the reaper, take my hand, 22:52 you'll be able to fly. 22:54 And it was, you know, encouraging people. 22:57 The music was very mellow and seductive, 23:02 but the words were really telling you, 23:04 you know, to take your life. 23:07 And so I think, you know, a lot of kids probably do that 23:12 because of the influence of some of these songs. 23:15 Yeah, I agree. 23:16 And there's a lot of subconscious influence too 23:19 but it's one you may not be conscious of 23:21 because it goes through a different part of the brain. 23:24 And so it's not even something that, 23:25 you know, the frontal lobe, 23:27 which is the analytical part of the brain, 23:29 it bypasses it and it 23:30 goes right to the temporal lobe 23:32 and then it becomes part of your subconscious 23:34 and you don't have a reasoning to stop 23:36 what you're hearing because it's more influential. 23:41 So you, so your family physician 23:45 puts you on medication? 23:46 Yes. 23:48 And how did that work? 23:50 Did that help you? 23:51 Did it, you said they changed your medication often? 23:54 Yes, yes. 23:55 It just, it was more just like a Band-Aid 23:57 and so it would help for a little while. 24:00 Like, you know, it was, I could notice a difference. 24:02 My mood was elevated temporarily maybe for, 24:06 you know, I think the most that it lasted was only six months. 24:09 And then I was able to go about, 24:10 and things were somewhat normal then, 24:12 but it wasn't a solution 24:15 In your experience with Dr. Nedley, 24:18 do most depression drugs work or do most of them not work? 24:24 Do any of them work? 24:25 Do none of them work? 24:26 What's, give us kind of a, just a generalization? 24:31 There's some that work, 24:33 but a lot of them come with black box warnings. 24:35 And so it increases impulsivity. 24:38 And so suicide is an impulsive act. 24:40 And so if you give a depressed patient, 24:42 one of these black box warning drugs, 24:46 then their suicidality actually goes up. 24:50 So any of these medications, they, they have some efficacy, 24:53 but it's just so important that 24:54 they're given under a physician's guidance 24:57 and that no one just abruptly stops them either. 25:01 So it needs to be tapered off with a physician. 25:04 It's very important that with brain chemistry 25:07 that it's not just abruptly stopped. 25:08 Yeah. 25:09 Now isn't it true that's, you know, some depression is 25:11 because of a brain chemistry issue. 25:12 Yes. 25:14 And other depression is, 25:15 I mean, I would imagine that 25:16 all depression ultimately is connected 25:18 to brain chemistry, 25:19 but aren't there, in some cases, 25:21 it's just, you know, a brain chemistry issue, 25:24 unrelated to certain events in a person's life. 25:28 But other times there's like you lose your job, 25:31 you have a divorce, 25:32 you know, there are precipitous events 25:35 that contribute to depression. 25:37 And in that case, wouldn't it be true that medication, 25:40 you know, if it doesn't address the underlying issue, 25:43 then it's probably not going to be a permanent solution. 25:46 Whereas if it's dealing with your brain chemistry issue, 25:49 you know, it may help to set things right. 25:52 Is that right? Right. Right. 25:53 And that's true 25:54 because there's situational depression too. 25:56 So it may have nothing to do with brain chemistry per se. 25:58 So there's lab work that it's helpful 26:01 because then you're able to get data 26:03 and have some evidence to treat with. 26:05 But not everything is you can draw a lab for, 26:08 you know, with, you know, a loss 26:10 or something like that though. 26:11 Well, that's one of the beautiful things 26:13 about the beauties of Dr. Nedley's program 26:16 is that he does, 26:17 I remember when I was there, 26:18 I think they did nine blood draws. 26:20 Yes 26:21 And he's looking at all these different things 26:23 and looking at my chart 26:24 and I'd have my counseling appointments with him. 26:27 And he would say, I see this, this, this, this, and this. 26:29 I know why you have anxiety. 26:31 Why you have insomnia, why you can't sleep. 26:33 Why you're depressed. 26:34 It's all right there in front of me. 26:36 And he said, you need these vitamins, 26:37 this, this, this, this, and this. 26:39 And you need to up the zinc and the B6 26:41 and eventually everything just kicked back into normal. 26:45 Right. Right. 26:47 And that's the same way it was with my labs as well. 26:48 He did the same thing. 26:50 And so like all the things that you just mentioned, 26:52 like zinc and P5P and the different data 26:55 that he basically was able to have a supplement for that. 26:58 And so that definitely helped the brain chemistry. 27:00 Yeah. 27:02 And again, we'll talk more about Dr. Nedley's program. 27:03 So back to your timeline, your teenage years, 27:07 tell us more about? 27:09 You said 12, you started struggling with this. 27:11 You were off and on antidepressant medications. 27:15 And what were your teenage years like? 27:17 You said, your brother kind of went, 27:19 he stayed with the Lord, 27:20 but you went the other way? 27:22 Yes, I did. 27:24 Teenage years were okay. 27:26 Again, it was still moving around, 27:29 you know, I enjoyed school. 27:30 I liked being in school. 27:32 There were some really high points as well, 27:33 so I don't want to paint it, 27:35 you know, entirely in one direction either, 27:37 but, you know, again, 27:39 there was still just this thing. 27:41 I just could not put my finger on 27:44 what could possibly be wrong. 27:46 'Cause I just didn't, 27:47 something was just not a 100% right. 27:49 Like that cloud, just a cloud over you. 27:50 Just a cloud. 27:52 Sometimes they call it the black dog, 27:53 you know, something that it's just pervasive 27:56 and it affects a lot of different areas of life. 27:59 So going through college, 28:03 you know, again, it was more 28:07 kind of hanging out with not the best crowd 28:09 going to rock concerts, you know. 28:13 So you really veered away from the church, 28:16 the church crowd. 28:17 Did you continue to go to church 28:19 during those days or did you stop? 28:20 I did occasionally. 28:21 I went occasionally, 28:23 but not for maybe the best reasons, 28:26 more to meet up with friends 28:27 and more like a social event type of thing. 28:30 So I still, I still believed in God. 28:33 I still loved God, 28:34 but I didn't know 28:36 what a true relationship with Him really was, 28:39 I think kind of looking back. 28:40 So I struggled a lot with just feeling disconnected 28:43 and trying to just feeling lost, 28:47 I guess you could say, 28:48 just not having a clear direction, so. 28:51 But you knew you wanted to be a nurse? 28:54 Yes, yes. I did have direction there. 28:57 You know, in terms of school, 28:58 you know, I did fairly well in school, 29:01 that wasn't the issue. 29:02 It was more just overall life satisfaction. 29:05 Just kind of knowing like, 29:07 you know, feeling, I guess at peace you could say. 29:12 So your friends though, the friends, 29:14 you said wrong crowd, 29:16 they pulled you in the wrong direction? 29:18 Yeah. Yeah. 29:20 And that's the same thing that happened to me. 29:21 And it happens to a lot of kids, 29:23 you know, you veered into your teenage years 29:24 and then continuing on 29:26 and you, you know, you, 29:27 if you don't have a strong walk with God, 29:30 if you're not really reading His Word on a regular basis 29:34 and praying on a regular basis, and even if you are, 29:37 you can still be pulled into the wrong influences. 29:41 And I didn't have any moral base at all, really. 29:45 And so I just went from one thing to another, 29:48 marijuana and then cocaine 29:51 and the parties, the rock concerts, 29:53 the same kind of thing, the alcohol, the drinking. 29:56 And some of my friends that I grew up with they died. 30:00 I remember Lisa, 30:03 I got word that she had overdosed on Quaaludes 30:06 and then Michael Prier, he, I don't know. 30:10 I think he drank so much, he got a liver disease 30:14 and that killed him as a young man. 30:16 So it could have easily happened to me. 30:19 And it happens to a lot of people. 30:21 It's very, it's tragic. 30:22 So let's keep going down farther. 30:25 You eventually got married? 30:26 I did get married. 30:28 I married another nurse and we had a beautiful child. 30:32 His name is Liam and he's seven. 30:35 He's turning eight at the end of April. 30:36 You were telling me a little about him. 30:38 He's awesome. I just love him so much. 30:40 I'm so grateful for Liam. 30:42 He's a very unique child. 30:44 He loves clocks. 30:46 He loves numbers and he has a clock collection. 30:48 And so he's just a fun little guy. 30:50 You have to talk to him. 30:51 He's never met a stranger. 30:52 He's very chatty. 30:54 But he's, I do have a beautiful son. 30:57 Unfortunately I did get divorced. 30:59 So the divorce was very difficult, 31:03 you talked about losses 31:05 and it was a tumultuous time. 31:10 I think that may have been the tipping point 31:12 of what kind of led me to seek help 31:16 with Dr. Nedley's program. 31:19 That was not something that, 31:23 it was a pretty discouraging time. 31:26 So I just felt like a failure. 31:27 I felt like... 31:29 After the divorce. After the divorce. 31:30 And so there's a lot of thoughts 31:31 that were going in my head 31:33 that you had mentioned before that what's the point, 31:35 like, why am I still living? 31:37 So it was those suicidal thoughts, 31:39 I think really tipped at that point. 31:43 Now had you prior to the divorce, 31:45 had you ever attempted to take your life? 31:48 I had one other time. 31:51 Was while you were married or before you were married? 31:53 It was while we were married. 31:56 And do you do, what you attribute to, 31:58 you attribute that to, 31:59 were you still on medication at that time, 32:01 antidepressant medication? 32:03 Was that a contributing factor 32:04 or was it just because 32:06 things weren't going well in your marriage or both? 32:09 It's hard to say, I mean, 32:11 it's difficult to really pinpoint what it was. 32:14 I know I struggled really bad with postpartum depression. 32:18 And so after Liam was born, 32:22 I was struggling pretty hard at home. 32:25 So that was difficult. 32:29 And then you said that 32:31 the divorce that really contributed to your slide? 32:36 Yes. 32:38 So just, you know, keep going 32:42 with what happened, 32:44 tell people what happened. 32:46 A lot of people, you know, when we tell our stories, 32:49 other people can say, I can relate to that. 32:52 That's what happened to me. 32:54 And a lot of people when they go through things. 32:57 I know for me, 32:59 when I went through Dr. Nedley's program, 33:01 the first time around 33:03 it was very, in a strange way, 33:08 it was shocking. 33:09 And it was in a strange way, 33:11 it was encouraging to see other people 33:14 going through the same kind of things 33:17 that I was going through, 33:18 because I think there's a tendency to, 33:22 when people go through real problems 33:25 to think that nobody knows what I'm going through. 33:30 I'm the only one that's got this problem. 33:32 Right 33:34 And there was a Bible verse that I read that said, 33:36 no temptation has overtaken you, 33:39 but such as is common to man. 33:41 I think that's 1 Corinthians 10:17, I think, 33:46 just going by memory. 33:47 And so I would think, 33:49 is this possible that what I'm going through 33:50 is common to man, 33:52 that other people go through this too? 33:53 Yeah. 33:55 And then when I went through Dr. Nedley's program, 33:56 I saw firsthand 33:57 because a lot of people don't talk about these things. 33:59 Right. 34:00 And I saw it firsthand that, 34:02 you know, this person and this person, 34:04 we would sit in the hot tub, 34:06 as you know, part of his program is, 34:07 you go in the hot tub 34:09 and then they put you in a cold bucket of water. 34:12 Yeah, hydrotherapy, 34:14 and then you're back in the hot tub 34:15 for about four minutes or five minutes. 34:17 Yeah. 34:18 Then you're back in the tub of ice for 30 seconds. 34:22 And you go back and forth, back and forth 34:25 sometimes, two or three times a day. 34:28 And you, and so we would sit in a hot tub 34:29 and with the guys, 34:31 they, you know, they separated the men and the women, 34:33 once we did hydrotherapy. 34:35 And these guys are just telling, 34:38 you know, the same kind of stories 34:40 that I'm going through. 34:41 And then of course at the end, 34:43 if they want to, people get up and they share their stories 34:47 and you just think, wow, I'm not alone. 34:49 Yeah. 34:50 A lot of people have experienced things like this. 34:54 Yeah, that's true. 34:55 So for me, it was comforting to know. 34:57 I mean, I didn't, you know, 34:58 obviously I didn't want other people to struggle, 35:01 but to know that I wasn't alone 35:02 and that people could relate, 35:04 that was really valuable to me. 35:06 Yeah. 35:07 There's something that's very connecting 35:09 with vulnerability, 35:12 because they talk about that. 35:13 That vulnerability is basically the birthplace of empathy. 35:17 And so if you can relate with someone else, 35:19 that's such a connecting piece. 35:20 And to know that 35:22 you don't have to struggle alone, 35:23 there's, like you said, there's value in that 35:26 because then you can also help each other. 35:28 Yeah, that's right. 35:29 There's a little book that we'll talk more about later on, 35:34 it's a little book I wrote called Help for the Hopeless. 35:36 Help for the Hopeless. 35:39 And there's a person on the cover 35:40 that's just, he's in the dark 35:42 and he's got his hand on his head 35:43 and he's just really down and out. 35:47 And the subtitle here says my escape from insomnia, 35:52 mind altering medication, 35:54 dark depression, and mental torture. 35:57 And for me, I mean, I am this, 35:59 my title is speaker director of White Horse Media. 36:02 I'm a minister. I've been a minister for years. 36:04 I've given seminars on the Bible. 36:07 I've spoken in front of crowds, done radio interviews, 36:09 we've produced TV programs. 36:11 And it wasn't until 2017 36:14 that I just really, I just bottomed out. 36:17 And then when I, 36:20 by the grace of God, I got through that, 36:22 I wrote this book. 36:24 And this is, you know, my story. 36:26 And I remember that when this book first came out 36:29 and I finally decided 36:30 I'm going to go public with this, 36:31 and I'm going to write this book 36:33 and tell the story. 36:34 That I, we were just, our office was just cascaded 36:38 with emails and phone calls 36:41 and people that just said, 36:44 you know, thank you for being vulnerable 36:47 and for telling your story, 36:50 because they, you know, they would say things like, 36:52 you know, most people that are, 36:54 you know, in my position, they don't do that. 36:57 And for them to see other people struggling, 37:01 just like they're struggling, it's encouraging to people, 37:04 especially when God brings you through. 37:07 Amen. 37:09 When you don't just go down, but then you get up. 37:12 That's right. 37:13 God brings you up. God builds you up. 37:15 And there's a lot of promises that we'll look at later. 37:18 Many promises in the Bible 37:20 that I'm sure you have precious promises 37:22 I want to focus on at some point, 37:23 what were the key promises that helped you, 37:25 and I'll share some of the promises 37:27 that helped me, 37:28 because really I know, and I think we both know 37:30 that we're only, we're here by the grace of God. 37:32 Amen. Only. That's right. 37:34 It's a miracle of the Lord 37:36 that He can get a hold of anybody 37:38 and then bring us through very dark times. 37:41 That's right. So, okay. 37:43 Let's go back to, 37:46 you know, how did things develop 37:49 were you, when you, 37:51 you know, that led you to the bottom, 37:54 and then how did you find out about Dr. Nedley's program 37:57 and we've got plenty of time 37:59 in this program and the next program. 38:00 We've got three hour, three-one hour sessions, 38:03 and then I want you to eventually go into, 38:06 you know, the process 38:09 that got you out of the depression 38:11 and the suicidal thoughts and those kinds of things? 38:14 Okay. 38:15 So tell the story? Okay. 38:17 So part of the story was, 38:21 I had ended up after the gun did not go off by God's grace. 38:27 I called my dad and a friend to come over 38:30 and my friend is a gun expert. 38:33 And so he checked out the gun. 38:34 So there's no reason 38:36 that the gun shouldn't have gone off. 38:38 My dad spent the night with me. 38:40 The next day he took me to a psychiatric hospital. 38:43 So I was admitted. 38:45 Basically under, you know, physician supervision. 38:49 And it was under locked down and all those things, 38:51 because I was still, you know... 38:53 Suicide watch, right? Suicide watch. 38:54 And where was this? 38:56 This was in Texas in Fort Worth. 38:57 Okay. 38:59 So that's where I was taken 39:01 and in the middle, 39:04 I was also on a lot of medications 39:06 and so I was on high dose Benzodiazepine. 39:09 So it's going to be like your Lorazepams, 39:11 your Ativans, Valium, those types of medications. 39:15 And with the alcohol component, 39:18 the psychiatric physician decided 39:20 to take off the benzo completely. 39:24 And so that's considered not a good plan 39:28 because it can cause seizures, 39:29 it can cause life-threatening brain chemistry issues. 39:33 So he took you off the benzo 39:35 because you were drinking at that point? 39:36 Yes, yes. 39:38 And he didn't just tell you to stop drinking. 39:40 He just adapted to what he thought was best 39:43 based on the fact that you were drinking. 39:44 Right. 39:45 Because basically the benzos are like 39:47 alcohol in a pill form. 39:48 And so he didn't want that 39:50 to be part of the treatment plan. 39:52 And so I started to have auditory hallucinations. 39:55 I thought the staff was against me. 39:58 I thought I needed to get out of there. 40:00 A lot of things that were not congruent with reality. 40:03 So I, cognizant of this, 40:05 I just didn't know what to do about it. 40:07 So it was terrifying. 40:09 And you attribute that to the benzo that you were on. 40:11 To the benzo. 40:12 Yeah, just the entire. 40:14 And what was the particular kind that you were on? 40:16 It was Ativan, 40:17 so I was up to four milligrams a day, 40:19 which is a very high dose. 40:22 So he put me on another medication 40:25 basically to treat the psychosis 40:27 and put me on some other 40:28 high dose psychiatric medications. 40:31 And so it was basically giving more meds. 40:35 At that point, my mom had heard about 40:37 the Nedley depression and anxiety program. 40:40 I wanted nothing to do with God. 40:42 I was very like angry. 40:44 Was that because of the benzos or was that? 40:47 Had that been building for a while? 40:49 That had been building for a while. 40:51 It had nothing to do with taking the medications away. 40:54 So that was kind of a separate issue, 40:57 compounded with everything else. 40:59 I was on Adderall for ADHD. 41:02 Trazadone for sleep, 41:04 on an antidepressant I think it was Cymbalta. 41:08 It was like six different medications 41:09 and some of them were working in opposition of each other. 41:12 So the whole treatment plan just didn't make sense. 41:15 It's just basically like throwing Band-Aids, 41:18 you know, on all these different issues and so. 41:22 So they were just, you know, 41:23 I have a relative that often says sometimes 41:27 they just, physician's practice medicine 41:29 and he uses that as a joke. 41:31 Yeah. 41:32 So it sounds like that's what was happening in your case. 41:33 Yes. 41:35 They were just deciding, well, let's try this 41:36 or let's try this and they weren't looking 41:38 at how they all work together. 41:39 Now I'm interested in when you said it, 41:40 it wasn't the drugs that you were on 41:42 that made you not want God. 41:45 You were already going in that direction for a while? 41:47 Yes. 41:49 And so go into that a little bit more. 41:51 Why did you after growing up in a Christian home, 41:55 what led you to the point 41:57 where you just decided I don't want Him, 41:59 was it because of the cloud that you render 42:02 that was still there? 42:03 Was that your marriage, 42:05 you know, what was it that led to that? 42:09 I don't know if I can really like, 42:12 articulate exactly when that happened. 42:14 I think it was a slow progression. 42:16 Just, you know, kind of letting out the threads 42:20 here and there, compromising here and there. 42:23 Not seeing that, 42:25 that was really the solution to a lot of things. 42:28 And He was the solution. 42:29 And He's the solution 42:31 and just really rejecting 42:33 that still small voice and not, 42:38 you know, not doing as he says, 42:40 basically very rebellious spirit. 42:42 And so just, you know, 42:45 I had struggled a lot with that. 42:47 So, and seeing the true picture of who God is, 42:49 I didn't have a good understanding 42:51 of how He is. 42:53 What was your understanding at that point? 42:56 At that point, I felt like 42:58 or I was thinking that 42:59 He was more like a judging God, 43:01 that He was looking at the things 43:03 that I wasn't doing, 43:04 and basically saying that, 43:07 you know, you're too bad, 43:08 you know, you've done too many bad things in your life 43:10 that I'm going to just not accept you 43:12 because you're too far gone. 43:14 And so I realized 43:16 that was not God speaking to me, 43:18 that was the devil, 43:19 because there was a thought from hell, 43:20 there's a thought from heaven, 43:22 and that God would not speak in that way. 43:25 So I recognize that now, 43:26 but going through it, I had that, 43:28 those thoughts, but, you know, I was just too far gone. 43:32 Yeah. 43:33 I've had many of those thoughts. 43:36 We can totally relate to that. 43:38 And I think in my case, 43:40 I think the medication 43:41 that I eventually went on my situation 43:44 really started with insomnia in June of 2017. 43:50 I, for some reason I just wasn't able to sleep. 43:54 I woke up at two in the morning and couldn't go back to sleep. 43:57 And then I started taking some, 44:00 uh, I think it was Tylenol PM, 44:02 and more melatonin and some of the milder things. 44:06 And they didn't, they worked for a little while 44:08 and then they stopped working. 44:10 And then I tried, somebody recommended Advil, 44:12 no, not Advil, I'm sorry, not Advil, Ambien. 44:15 And I tried Ambien. 44:17 And then that worked for a little while, 44:18 and then that stopped working. 44:19 And then I went farther and farther 44:21 and then eventually Iâ | 44:22 Some of my physician friends well-meaning, 44:25 were trying to help me because I wasn't sleeping. 44:29 I go the entire night without sleeping. 44:32 And then they put me on, 44:34 I believe it was Trazedone or maybe Seroquel. 44:38 And then eventually it was Lorazepam, 44:40 which is a benzo 44:42 and it just, I just spiraled one after another. 44:46 And it really started with I couldn't sleep. 44:49 And, you know, here I am a minister 44:51 and I've got responsibilities. 44:52 I have a family, I have my wife and my daughter and my son, 44:55 and a whole host of things 44:57 that I toggle and multitask in my daily life. 45:01 And you know, when you lose sleep consistently 45:06 your mind just begins to unravel. 45:09 And so I went on these medications 45:11 because I didn't know what else to do. 45:14 And that was what eventually led me to Weimar 45:16 was when I was on Lorazepam. 45:19 And I called Dr. Nedley 45:23 because I had known him for a long time, 45:25 from a different situation. 45:27 And then I told him what I was going through 45:30 and I wasn't sleeping, and I was on Lorazepam. 45:32 And he told me, how he still remembered that conversation. 45:34 I was standing outside of my wife's parents' house 45:37 on my cell phone. 45:38 And he said to me, he said, 45:40 Steve, you've got to get to Weimar right away. 45:42 You've got to get down here 45:43 and go through the depression and anxiety recovery program, 45:46 because we've got to get you off that benzo 45:49 or this is not, no, he didn't tell me 45:50 this at the conversation. 45:52 But later he told me that when he had that conversation, 45:57 he thought to himself, this is not going to end well. 46:00 That was the term he used. 46:02 This is not the phrase he used. 46:03 This is not going to end well. 46:05 That's the way, so he was reflecting, 46:08 but he didn't tell me that as a physician, 46:09 you know, on the phone, he just told me, 46:11 he said, you need to get down here to Weimar 46:13 and go through our program as quick as possible. 46:15 And that was, that phone call took place on 46:19 I believe it was a Sunday. 46:21 And then he said that we have 20 people registered, 46:26 or we're going to take 20 at that point 46:28 for the next program, which starts Thursday. 46:31 This was a Sunday. He said it starts Thursday. 46:34 And then he said, we have one opening 46:36 and I can squeeze you in. 46:38 Praise God. 46:39 And so by Tuesday I was on a plane 46:41 and my wife, I remember her helping me pack 46:44 because at that point 46:46 I was just, you know, 46:47 I had gone through multiple nights 46:49 without sleeping. 46:50 And now these medications were affecting my mind 46:54 and I was having all kinds of thoughts 46:56 that were not normal to me. 46:59 And, you know, and those negative thoughts, 47:02 those negative thoughts just keep hammering you 47:04 one after another. 47:05 You're hopeless. 47:07 That God doesn't love you anymore. 47:08 There's no way out of this. 47:10 There's nothing you can do. 47:12 Right. 47:13 And there's a whole lot of other things 47:15 that went on inside my head, which you can relate to. 47:18 I can relate to. Yes, absolutely. 47:20 Okay. So... A lot of those things. 47:22 Yeah. So how'd you get to Weimar? 47:27 Kind of a little bit more to the story. 47:30 I'd met a, some friends 47:33 in an intensive outpatient program. 47:35 I thought they were my friends 47:37 and I went on some dates 47:41 with a millionaire that is, 47:44 was in recovery for alcoholism. 47:46 And so, you know, I had this relationship 47:49 with this millionaire in this recovery program, 47:52 And this was still in... This is still in Texas. 47:54 In the Fort Worth area? Yeah. 47:55 And I ended up making some friends 47:59 that one friend decided that 48:00 he wanted to take a certain medication 48:04 and put it under his tongue. 48:06 And my dad was in a near fatal car accident. 48:10 And so he had this medication. 48:11 And so I got this medication for this person 48:14 and he went into respiratory distress 48:16 in my car. 48:18 Soâ | 48:19 And this was your millionaire boyfriend? 48:20 This was someone else. 48:22 There are two separate people. 48:23 I'm sorry. I wasn't clear. 48:25 So with my ICU training, 48:28 I was able to basically run the code, 48:31 put everything that was happening 48:34 put his head back, call EMS. 48:36 They stabilized his airway. 48:38 He never had to be intubated to have the artificial airway. 48:42 He was taken to the hospital. He survived. 48:45 So everything was okay. 48:46 This was all after you got out from your suicide intervention 48:50 and all that? 48:52 Right. 48:53 So this is, and so that gave me the idea. 48:55 And so I basically put in an app on my phone 48:59 that erased my location. 49:02 I packed some bags, 49:04 drew drove an hour outside of my town to Glen Roads, 49:09 booked a hotel and attempted the same thing. 49:13 I woke up three days later on my same side 49:17 in the ICU setting 49:18 we turn patients over two hours 49:19 to maintain circulation. 49:21 So what did he take, your friend take 49:23 that put him into that state? 49:26 It was a fentanyl patch. 49:28 And so typically it's extended release. 49:30 You put it on the skin and it's released over 72 hours 49:34 and you change it every 72 hours. 49:36 But he cut it in fours and then put it sublingual. 49:39 And so I had never heard of anything like this. 49:41 And so when you helped him survive, 49:45 that gave you the idea to try and do the same thing? 49:48 Precisely. 49:49 And... To kill yourself? 49:50 Right. 49:52 So that was unsuccessful. 49:56 And so I called my dad and... 49:58 So you said you woke up after three days? 50:00 After three days, 50:01 I could not feel the other side. 50:02 Yeah. 50:04 I lived and I don't know why they never checked on me, 50:06 which seems odd at a hotel, but they didn't. 50:09 And so, yeah. 50:11 No cleaning ladies came in? 50:12 No one, nothing, very odd. 50:15 So, that's what took me to the program. 50:19 It was basically in the program 50:21 that I had the interview from Leanne. 50:22 I don't know if you know Leanne, or you do. 50:25 No, but still let's, let's back up. 50:28 You survived those three days. 50:31 You were like, 50:32 when you were out for three days. 50:34 I was out for three days. 50:35 You woke up, you survived and then you, 50:36 did you realize that and think to yourself, 50:39 I want to live, I don't want to die, 50:41 and I almost killed myself, but I didn't. 50:43 And so I need help. 50:45 Is that what you were thinking? 50:47 At that time I was still pretty numb, 50:49 so there wasn't a lot of rational thought 50:53 at that point. 50:54 So it was just more, just wanting relief from pain. 50:58 I mean, it was just, you know, as you know, with depression, 51:01 it was just an intense amount of emotional pain. 51:04 And I, you know, there's no really origin of it. 51:07 It's just, it was just, 51:09 you know, I wasn't sure how to handle it 51:12 and obviously I was not handling it. 51:14 And did you say that was, was that your fifth time 51:16 that you tried to take your life? 51:17 That was it, so there were three other times 51:19 between the gun and that last one, 51:23 the three days when you were out? 51:24 Yeah. 51:26 So when you came to, again, how did you get, 51:30 how did you learn about Dr. Nedley's program 51:33 and how did that happen? 51:35 It was actually my mom 51:36 that had heard about it from a friend 51:39 who had gone through the program. 51:40 And so she had been praying about it 51:44 and asking God to give her wisdom 51:47 on how to basically help her daughter. 51:50 And so she had a friend in Houston 51:52 that worked at the conference office 51:54 that basically she reached out to, 51:56 and she knew Dr. Nedley 51:58 was going to be speaking in Houston. 52:00 And my mom felt this incredible impression 52:02 to call her friend 52:04 right at that moment. 52:05 And she knew that Dr. Nedley would not be in Houston 52:08 until the next day, but she did it. 52:10 And she listened to the Holy Spirit 52:12 and she called her friend. 52:13 And she said, you'll never guess 52:14 who's standing right in front of me right now, 52:16 but Dr. Nedley. 52:17 And so her friend hands Dr. Nedley the phone says that, 52:21 you know, there's this case, 52:23 I don't know if you can deal with this in your program. 52:25 It's pretty intense. And he said sure. 52:30 We'll make room for her. 52:31 It's kind of like your story. 52:32 Had you heard of him before? 52:34 I had never really heard much about Dr Nedley. 52:37 I didn't know who he was. 52:38 So you didn't know that 52:39 he was a Seventh-day Adventist physician 52:41 whose field of expertise is the brain chemistry 52:46 and helping people get over depression 52:48 and suicide, suicidal thoughts? 52:49 I didn't know that. Yeah. 52:51 So he was a godsend. Yes. 52:53 Yeah. 52:54 I felt the same way 52:55 when I finally landed at that program 52:57 that I don't know where I would have been 52:59 if it wasn't for God using that program to help me. 53:05 Amen. 53:07 So he, you talked to him on the phone 53:11 and you told him what was going on? 53:13 Actually, it was my mom that talked to him on the phone 53:16 and because I was still in the hospital, 53:18 but he's like, yeah, I'll send her over. 53:21 That sounds like a majority of the cases we get here. 53:25 And from that point 53:28 of your mother's conversation with him, 53:31 how many days beyond that was the, did the program begin? 53:35 Was it like that week or next week? 53:37 It was about the next week. 53:39 Mom and dad were like, oh, hey, you're going to California. 53:41 You can go hang out by the pool. 53:42 It's going to be like a vacation. 53:45 I was like sign me up. 53:47 That's kind of how they got me to go. 53:50 Really, you don't have a pool at Weimar. 53:54 Yeah. It wasn't quite like that. 53:55 Yeah. 53:57 And we see, yeah so, wow. 54:00 Yeah. 54:01 I didn't know what I was getting to, 54:03 getting into either 54:04 when Dr. Nedley said you need to come to Weimar. 54:05 I used to live. 54:07 Weimar is a little town in Northern California 54:09 on the way from Sacramento up to Reno. 54:13 And I grew up in California and I've been up that way 54:16 as I used to go up around, 54:18 up to the mountains farther north. 54:22 And I used to go fishing and backpacking and camping. 54:25 And, but I'd never been to Weimar itself. 54:27 It's just a little, small little place. 54:29 And right there is this lifestyle center, 54:31 this school and this depression and recovery program. 54:34 I think they have 400 acres, I think. 54:36 There's a lot of land up in the mountains. 54:38 And people come there from all over the world 54:41 who are really messed up 54:42 and that their lives are just about over 54:46 and with God's help and Dr. Nedley's help 54:49 and the staff and the program, 54:53 people's lives are... 54:54 Literally their lives are saved. 54:56 Amen. 54:58 And then their minds come back. 54:59 Yes. 55:00 And then they can resume normal living. 55:02 That's right. 55:03 So, yeah. Wow. 55:04 So yeah, I didn't know what I was getting into either 55:06 when my wife packed my bags and drove me to the airport 55:10 and I got on to the plane in Spokane 55:14 and eventually landed in Sacramento. 55:16 And I was a mess when I got there. 55:18 And if it wasn't for Nathan Hyde, 55:20 who we both know. 55:21 Yeah, Nathan. 55:23 You know, he was the one that came down 55:24 to the Sacramento airport from Weimar to pick me up. 55:29 I don't know if I would ever have gotten there 55:31 and he picked me up and he drove me 55:33 up to Weimar about an hour away. 55:34 And during the drive, he told me his story 55:36 where he said, I can totally relate. 55:38 I was on all these different drugs 55:39 and my life was totally falling apart. 55:42 And the Lord put me back together too. 55:43 Amen. 55:45 So well, we're going to continue this 55:48 in our next part. 55:49 I want to learn more about, 55:51 you know, what happened to you at the program 55:52 and what were some of the keys 55:54 that helped put your life back together. 55:56 And until we get back to part two, 56:00 I want to read a Bible verse that really helped me. 56:04 This is Psalm 50:15. 56:06 God is talking here and God says, 56:08 "Call upon Me, call upon Me 56:12 in the day of trouble. 56:15 And I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me." 56:20 Somebody texted me this verse, 56:21 before I went to Weimar and I did that. 56:24 I called upon God. 56:25 I said, God, this is my day of trouble. 56:26 You've got to help me out of this. 56:28 And He did. He helped me. 56:29 He helped Christy and He can help you. 56:32 So stay tuned for part two 56:34 of Finding Hope in Depression and Despair. 56:41 This three-part series, 56:43 Finding Hope in Depression and Despair 56:45 is now available on DVD from White Horse Media. 56:48 To order simply call 1-800-782-4253 56:52 or order online at WhiteHorseMedia.com 56:55 To learn even more about how you can overcome anxiety, 56:58 fear, discouragement, and depression, 57:00 White Horse Media recommends 57:01 these two easy to read pocket books, 57:04 Help for the Hopeless, and Secrets of Inner Peace. 57:07 In Help for the Hopeless 57:08 Steve Wohlberg reveals personal details 57:10 about an awful trial he passed through 57:12 during the summer of 2017. 57:15 How God brought him through the horror of deep darkness 57:17 and how you can find help too whatever your struggles. 57:21 In Secrets of Inner Peace, 57:22 Steve explains how deep lasting peace 57:24 is only possible 57:26 through discovering the love and goodness of Jesus Christ, 57:29 the Prince of Peace 57:30 and through the power of His Word. 57:32 Both of these small pocket books 57:33 are easy to read, 57:35 heartwarming, encouraging, 57:36 and great for sharing with your loved ones 57:37 friends, and even with strangers. 57:39 This three-part DVD series 57:41 Finding Hope in Depression and Despair. 57:43 And both of these enlightening pocket books 57:45 are now available from White Horse Media 57:47 by calling 1-800-782-4253. 57:51 That's 1-800-782-4253. 57:54 A fully illustrated eBook version 57:56 of Secrets of Inner Peace 57:58 can also be purchased immediately on the website. 58:00 SecretsOfInnerPeace.net 58:03 That's SecretsOfInnerPeace.net |
Revised 2021-06-03