Participants: C.A. Murray (Host), Lemuel Vega (Host), Shelly Quinn (Host), Michelle Jones, Joetta Walls
Series Code: FIN
Program Code: FIN000006
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00:01 Hi, I'm C.A. Murray and this is Free Indeed,
00:05 a different kind of ministry. 00:07 The men and women that you will meet 00:09 in this particular program have found Jesus 00:11 in very trying circumstances. 00:15 They are going to tell you their story, 00:16 their own personal journey of their walk of faith. 00:20 We haven't changed their music 00:22 and we haven't changed their words 00:23 because it's their personal testimony. 00:26 It's their walk of faith with Jesus Christ. 00:29 So you're gonna meet some people, 00:30 some men and women who've made 00:31 some mistakes in their lives, but they're trying to change 00:34 that through the power of Jesus Christ. 00:37 You will meet men and women who've found 00:40 as we have found that freedom is not really, 00:44 doesn't have much to do with where you are. 00:46 It is more what you are. 00:48 You'll find as they have found that in Jesus, 00:51 you can indeed be free indeed. 01:10 What do you see when you look in the mirror? 01:13 Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror? 01:16 Do you want to change what you see? 01:17 Would you like to alter what you see and how important 01:21 is the image that stares back at you 01:24 from your mirror each day? 01:26 Is that more important than what's inside? 01:29 On today's program, we travel once again 01:31 to the Women's Prison in Indiana. 01:33 We wrestled with this idea of self image. 01:37 Do you like what you see? 01:38 What length will you go to, 01:40 to change what you see in the mirror? 01:43 In this country, cosmetics is a multi-billion dollar industry, 01:47 plastic surgery, makeup, so many, many things 01:51 we do to change what's on the outside when perhaps 01:54 we ought to spend a little more time looking 01:56 at and concerning ourselves with what's on the inside. 02:01 Today, we meet Michelle, we meet Joetta 02:04 and we hear ministry from Shelley Quinn. 02:06 Joetta spends a little time telling us about 02:08 the after effects of a visit by 3ABN 02:12 and Christmas Behind Bars. 02:14 How is the life of the prison changed? 02:16 How are the lives of those inmates changed 02:19 once we leave, is it good, is it bad, is it better? 02:23 And then, Michelle talks to us about self image 02:25 and Shelley speaks to us 02:26 about a positive self image in Jesus Christ. 02:30 You want to stay by. 02:31 This is a-- powerful presentation 02:33 from a Women's Prison, here on Free Indeed! 02:39 Today, we have Michelle Jones with us 02:41 and it's just been blessing to work with her 02:43 in the music time that we spent here 02:45 going over the songs and stuff. 02:47 Michelle, is this your first time in prison? 02:49 Yes, sir. And how long you have been locked up? 02:51 14. 14 years. Yes. You look almost too young 02:55 to have 14 years in, in prison. 02:57 My grandmother's genes that's all I can say. 02:59 Well, I'll tell you what, at some point, you shared 03:02 with me that you were ready to check out, yes sir, of life. 03:06 Yes, sir. I was completely trapped in a very, 03:10 very bad relationship and-- I was using drugs and alcohol 03:12 to numb out so much so that, you know, 03:16 my child died in the process from my neglect 03:18 and I, I'm here now for that and it was tremendously hard 03:22 because I wanted this person. 03:24 I had made this person my everything, 03:26 instead of making God my everything. 03:29 I made this one man my everything and when he ceased 03:32 to be that perfect image that I had setup, I crumbled. 03:35 I completely collapsed and I caused a very, you know, 03:39 a heartfelt horrible situation in my life 03:42 and my son died as a result of my neglect. 03:44 And it was, it was traumatic. 03:45 It's the worst thing I've ever been through in my life. 03:48 Would you look out there, Michelle, and would you share 03:51 with those people in the world today as this goes literally 03:53 around the world that there is a message of hope for them, 03:56 because many people feel like checking out especially 03:58 in this time of earth's history. 03:59 For me, when I felt like giving up, completely giving up, 04:04 there was some still voice, small voice inside me 04:07 that was God that said, you know, get up, get up. 04:11 And when I came to prison, I really did not want to get up. 04:14 I laid in that bed. I took my Prozac. 04:16 I took my Paxil. I did not want to live 04:20 and God sent someone to me and said get involved 04:24 and I chose one thing that I could do. 04:26 And God let me learn from that experience 04:29 that there are more than one, more than one thing 04:31 that you can do, Michelle. 04:32 You can do this and you can do this. 04:33 So I would say to them, find that one thing 04:36 you know that lights up your spirit, 04:38 that lights up your heart, that fills you with joy, 04:41 go out and do that. 04:42 And when you find that you are in service to others, 04:45 God begins to reign down blessings on you. 04:47 And the next thing you know, you've got a support system 04:49 or maybe money comes and a check is coming, 04:51 mail or job opens up or you find housing. 04:54 So find that thing, give it to God. 04:58 Do that work and give it to God and watch the blessings 05:01 reign down 'cause that's what's happened for me. 05:03 I will give up or give in 05:09 I'm holding on to thee 05:15 I will be steadfast, I move above 05:22 Always abounding in you 05:29 Lord, I'm staying in your will 05:40 I will give up or give in 05:46 I'm holding on to thee 05:52 I will be steadfast I move above 05:59 Always abounding in you 06:06 Lord, I'm staying in your will 06:14 I'm staying in your will 06:18 I'm staying in your will 06:21 I'm staying Lord 06:24 I'm staying in your will 06:26 I'm staying 06:30 I'm staying in your will 06:33 I'm staying Lord 06:35 Said, I'm staying in your will 06:42 I'm staying in your will I'm staying Lord 06:48 I'm staying in your will I'm staying 06:54 I'm staying in your will I'm staying Lord 06:59 Said, I'm staying in your will Promise you Lord 07:08 I'm staying in your will, your will 07:16 Promise you Lord 07:20 I'm staying in your will, your will 07:28 Promise you Lord 07:32 I'm staying in your will, your will 07:38 Promise you Lord 07:45 I'm staying in your will, your will 07:52 Promise you Lord 07:56 I'm staying in your will, your will 08:04 Promise you Lord 08:09 I'm staying in your will, your will 08:20 God has done so much for me that I cannot, 08:25 I cannot, even with the loss of my only child 08:28 I'll ever have, I cannot sit here and not be thankful 08:34 for what God has done and not tell you that God 08:36 is moving in my life and-- blessing me and changing me. 08:41 Even with everything that's happened. I couldn't do it. 08:50 Today, we're at the Indiana Women's Prison and we have 08:52 our guest speaker is Joetta Walls, 08:55 also knows as Lady out there in secular society, 08:59 but today you carry the gospel message 09:02 for Jesus Christ in prison. 09:03 Joetta is this your first time in prison? 09:05 Yes, this is. First time in prison, 09:07 how long have you been in prison? 09:09 I've been incarcerated seven years. 09:11 Seven years, what message of hope 09:13 would you like to share with the world? 09:15 You are not just talking to your, 09:16 to your co-inmates here, but you're talking to the world. 09:19 What message of hope would you have this afternoon 09:21 for those people in the free world? 09:23 The message of hope I have today for the world 09:26 is that Jesus Christ is the way. 09:28 He is the truth and he is the life. 09:30 He saved me out of a place that I didn't think 09:32 I could be reached. 09:34 I didn't think anyone cared. 09:35 I felt abandoned and rejected most of my life 09:37 from my family, friends, people who were close to me. 09:39 I just felt unloved. 09:41 But He reached down from His Holy Sanctuary 09:43 and He picked me up in the palm of His hand 09:46 and He shared His love with me as He does this very moment 09:49 that I stand here with awesome breath of life 09:51 that He fills me with. 09:52 So you if you're feeling like I did for so many years, 09:55 I'm 47 years old by the grace of God and I thank Him 09:57 for each and every breath that I breathe and everyday 09:59 that I live to see because this is a gift from Him. 10:02 If you are feeling abandoned, rejected, nobody wants 10:05 to be around you, no one likes you, then just praise God 10:08 and thank Him for it, because He set you apart 10:11 for His purpose and for His reason and for His glory. 10:14 He is making you for Himself and I had to be incarcerated 10:17 to come into the truth of that knowledge, 10:20 but I'm so thankful for the time that I've been here. 10:23 I'm thankful for the people he's brought into my life, 10:25 the women here, the administrators, 10:27 the medical staff, all the-- ministers as Brother Lemuel 10:31 and the other ministries have come here 10:33 to minister to our hearts. 10:35 I'm just thankful for God's goodness 10:36 and for His faithfulness. 10:37 So like I said, if you feel that way 10:39 and you feel that there's no hope for you, 10:41 Jesus Christ is the living hope. 10:43 Let's talk about the anger and revenge. 10:45 You told me that played a big part in your life at that time. 10:48 There is a lot of anger and revenge 10:50 going on in the world today. 10:51 What would you share to the people that can't 10:53 find that forgiveness? 10:54 As the sister who just spoke before me, 10:56 my encouragement for you is to surrender that. 11:00 Give that to the Lord, because He knows your anger. 11:02 He knows those feelings that we think 11:04 we can hide from everyone else. 11:06 You might say all the right things. 11:07 You might play the part you might look the role, 11:10 but God says, He is the searcher of hearts. 11:12 He test the hearts and He searches the mind 11:14 and there is nothing hidden from Him. 11:16 So my suggestion to you and not only my suggestion 11:19 but my encouragement to you is to surrender 11:21 that to the Lord, so that He can heal your heart 11:24 of those wounds that you are carrying, 11:25 all that pain from years ago, so that you can forgive, 11:28 because without Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit 11:31 working in you, it cannot be done. 11:33 So you came from a background 11:34 of a lot of shame and guilt. 11:36 There was some sexual abuse in that-- 11:38 but through this journey, you've been able to find 11:41 that hope and forgiveness. Yes. And you'd recommend 11:43 for that people in society as well. Yes, 11:46 I highly recommend that you seek help, 11:48 two words, seek help. 11:50 Jesus says if you come into Him, 11:51 He will give you rest from all of your burdens. 11:54 But He also sets people in your life that 11:56 you can go and talk to and that you can speak to. 11:58 All of us have different callings. 11:59 All of us have different purposes, 12:00 but we are all the same at the foot of the cause. 12:03 And so, I just encourage you to go and seek help. 12:05 I didn't do that when I was younger because of shame, 12:07 because of stigmatisms, because of the way 12:09 society sets you, sets you in categories in little clicks 12:12 and it kind of keeps you out of what you might 12:14 want to do or you think so at the time. 12:16 I encourage everyone to seek help. 12:18 If you've been abused, whether it's a family member 12:20 or someone close to you, a stranger, seek help. 12:22 Go and talk to someone about that, 12:24 because there is hope for you. Amen, in closing, 12:26 what is a Bible verse, I know, you have many, 12:29 but what is a Bible verse that you would like to leave. 12:31 Yes, that's kind of hard to choose from, 12:33 but the Lord places on my heart and today 12:36 is just my living testimony that the Lord is my strength 12:40 and He is my song. 12:41 He is my God and I will praise Him. 12:44 He has become my salvation. 12:45 He is my Father's God and I will exalt Him. 12:48 You'll praise Him no matter what. 12:49 No matter what, "For Christ I live and for Christ I die." 12:53 Thank you. Thank you. 12:59 That just blows me away. That's just so awesome to me 13:02 how God uses you when you feel like, 13:05 you were the second rate citizen. 13:07 There was no value left in my life. 13:10 Thrown off to the side. 13:11 Nobody wanted me. 13:13 He showed me how much He loved me 13:16 and He wants me. 13:19 He showed me the hope that is in His son 13:22 and the reason why he sent Him 13:24 because how cruel we are to one another. 13:27 No matter what type of job that you have, 13:29 no matter what type of house you live in, 13:31 or what kind of car you drive, 13:32 or which school your kids go to, that we're all cut 13:36 from the same rug. 13:39 And it has to be washed in the blood 13:42 of Jesus Christ when it's still dirty. 13:46 And that's what gets me through the day, 13:48 each day knowing how much God loves 13:50 not just me, but all of us. 13:53 It's so beautiful and it's just so wonderful 13:57 and so I tried to let that light that's in me, 14:00 shine so that others can see how much God loves them. 14:05 No matter how you look, can be either someone who looks 14:09 on a magazine cover or a person that's walking next 14:12 to you to the left or to the right. 14:14 The only thing that-- matters is the reflection 14:16 that you see in that mirror when you look. 14:18 Who do you see when you look in the mirror? 14:20 Do you see Jo Walls? 14:22 Or do you see, Christ? 14:27 I see Christ. 14:30 I see Him reflecting His image, 14:32 because now I can look in the mirror again. 14:34 It was years when I didn't even look in the mirror. 14:36 I know how to put make up on without looking at. 14:38 I can put on lipstick in the dark. 14:40 I didn't look in the mirror, because I didn't knew 14:42 who that person was that was in the mirror. 14:45 I didn't know who that was looking back at me because-- 14:46 it was a scarred person. 14:48 It's kind of like you pickup a dirty penny off the street 14:52 and you don't know it's a penny 14:53 till it gets all washed off and clean again. 14:56 That's what God did to me. 14:57 He picked me up, He cleaned me up. 15:01 And He reminded me who I was and where I was from, 15:03 that I belonged to him 15:06 and that I'm His daughter and He loves me. 15:09 And no matter where I'm in and what I've done, 15:14 mercy doesn't remember any of that. 15:17 When I look at a crowd this size, 15:21 I know that there is more than one person in here, 15:23 there is probably many people in here who were told 15:27 as a child you're worthless, 15:29 you'll never amount to anything. 15:33 You know, you're no good. 15:35 And I want to tell you something. 15:36 That is-- a lie of the devil. 15:39 He is-- the father of lies, 15:40 he has lied from the-- beginning and that is a lie. 15:44 To each and every one of you, whether you've accepted Christ 15:47 as your Savior or not, let me tell you this. 15:50 You are worth nothing less than the price 15:54 that He paid for you 15:55 with the blood of His only begotten Son. 15:59 A God who'd humble himself, become human, 16:04 show up as a baby. 16:06 If I was God, I'd be coming in as a King, but he showed up 16:09 as a baby, so that he could lead a life and understand 16:14 everything that-- you're going through 16:15 and experience every temptation. 16:18 God showed us how much He loved us by sending His Son 16:21 into the world to die for us. 16:24 And you know, the Bible is very clear. 16:27 He says in Ephesians 2, verse 4 beginning there. 16:31 This is what Paul says, God is so rich in mercy. 16:34 He loved us so much that even though we were dead, 16:39 spiritually dead, because of our sins, He gave us life 16:44 when He raised Christ from the dead. 16:47 It's only by grace that you've been saved. When-- 16:58 I grew up with a great fear of abandonment 17:01 and a fear of rejection. 17:03 And I had even as a Christian, I had an identity crisis. 17:08 I didn't know who I was. 17:11 And I can imagine that-- most of you coming in here 17:15 have experienced that identity crisis. 17:18 You know, the Bible tells us in Second Corinthians 5:17 17:23 that we are new creations in Christ Jesus. 17:26 When you accept Christ, the old is gone 17:29 and the new is come. 17:31 Now, I don't know about you, I claim this promise 17:36 and I claim along with it Philippians 1:6 17:39 that God is faithful and that He will complete the good work 17:42 He has begun in me. 17:44 But I don't always feel like the old is gone 17:47 and the new has come. 17:49 But I confess it over my life because-- 17:52 Romans 4:17 says that God is a God who gives life 17:56 to the dead and calls things that are not 17:59 as though they already were. 18:01 He can do that because He knows 18:03 the end from the beginning. 18:06 And you know what, you can know the end 18:08 from the beginning too, because it is written. 18:11 Everything in this book is written for your benefit 18:17 and you will become what you behold. 18:21 Let me read you this scripture from the Amplified, 18:23 it say in Second Corinthians 3:16. 18:26 It says, "Whenever a person turns 18:29 that means to repent return to the Lord, 18:34 then the veil is stripped away." 18:37 That veil of identity crisis when you look in the mirror 18:42 and think who is this that's looking back at me. 18:45 Have your ever felt like that? 18:47 Who is this? What's wrong with me Lord? 18:52 But it says, "The Lord is the Spirit, 18:55 and where the Spirit of the Lord is, 18:57 there is liberty." 19:00 You can be free from your bondage 19:02 and it goes on in verse 18. 19:04 It says, "All of us with unveiled face, 19:07 because we continue to behold as in the Word of God 19:12 as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, 19:15 we are constantly being transformed 19:19 from one level of His glory to the next." 19:22 From glory to glory. 19:25 You become who you behold. 19:28 That's why some of you are here. 19:31 You became what you beheld in your own home. 19:36 But you can have a different life by looking into this word 19:41 and knowing that-- God's promises are yours 19:45 and beginning to claim them and confess them 19:48 over your life and God will change you. 19:51 There is transforming power in the word of God. 19:54 James 1:21 says that this word, when it's planted 19:58 in our hearts, has the-- ability to save our souls. 20:04 In second Peter 1:3 through 4, some of my most 20:09 favorite scriptures, and it says this, 20:16 "God's divine power has given to us all things 20:20 that pertain to life and godliness." 20:23 Everything we need, God provides. 20:25 God doesn't tell you to be something 20:28 that he doesn't call you to be something that he won't 20:31 cause you to be if you learn to rely on Him. 20:36 It goes on and says, "He has given us all things 20:40 that pertain to life and godliness, 20:42 through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory 20:45 and virtue, by which, by his glory and virtue, 20:49 have been given to us exceedingly 20:52 great and-- precious promises." 20:54 So that through these promises, the Bible says, 20:58 you can become a partaker of the divine nature and escape 21:04 the corruption that's in the world through lust. 21:08 I cannot tell you how much it means to me when God 21:13 first taught me to take scripture and to pray it back 21:17 to him to claim it over my life, to tell Him, 21:21 Lord I thank you, that I'm the righteousness 21:26 of God in Christ Jesus. 21:28 I thank you that I'm a new creation 21:30 and He taught me to do this and one day, 21:32 after He had given me a bunch of promises, 21:35 and I wrote them all out, beginning with I'm. 21:38 The Lord told me to go and look into the mirror 21:42 and speak these promises over my life. 21:44 You know what, it was easy, somewhat easy, 21:47 for me to have these promises written out 21:49 and to claim them and to pray them. 21:51 But when I went to look in the mirror, 21:53 I want to read you this, this affirmation that I was reading 21:57 in the mirror. 21:59 Here's what the Lord gave me and it came from 22:01 Ephesians 4:30 in First John Chapter 5. 22:05 The affirmation said, I'm sealed for the day of redemption. 22:10 God has given me eternal life and this life is in His son. 22:14 As long as I abide in Jesus, I have assurance of my salvation. 22:20 That's what the promises are from Ephesians 4:30 22:23 and First John 5:11 and 12. 22:26 And I had this written out on paper. 22:29 I was praying it. 22:30 I was speaking it. But God said go look in the mirror. 22:35 And when I looked in the mirror, 22:38 and I said to, looking into my own eyes, 22:41 I am sealed for the day of redemption. 22:46 All of a sudden, what was written on paper, 22:50 the light of God's word actually 22:53 entered into my heart, into the deep recesses, 22:57 the dark recesses of my heart, because I had never had 23:01 assurance of salvation until I did that. 23:06 When you take what the Bible says and apply it personally, 23:12 don't think his promises are too great for me because 23:15 He says in Second Corinthians 1:20, 23:18 All of His promises are ours in Christ Jesus 23:21 and as you do that, as you learn as Proverbs Chapter 3, 5 23:28 through 7 says, "To trust in the Lord 23:31 with all of your heart." 23:33 He is trustworthy, he loves you--He cannot lie. 23:38 He has totally separated from evil. 23:41 There is not anything evil in God. 23:43 And the Bible says trust in the Lord 23:46 with all of your heart and lean not 23:49 on your own understanding. 23:51 Well, if we're not going to lean on our understanding, 23:53 whose understanding would we lean on, 23:55 God's and where do we find it? 23:57 In the Bible. And then, He says, acknowledge Him 24:02 in all of your ways and He will direct your pasts. 24:08 Please, understand that as you look into this word, 24:14 what you will see is who you are in Christ Jesus. 24:20 We have an identity crisis. 24:23 You're not the only ones. 24:24 There're so many people in the church 24:26 who don't understand who they are in Christ. 24:29 But God wants us to get into His word. 24:31 Let the word get into us, and to begin to understand 24:36 that someone quoted earlier, Romans 8:28, 24:41 "All things work together for good for those 24:43 who love the-- Lord and are called 24:45 according to his purpose." 24:46 You cannot disconnect that from Romans 8:29 24:50 because his purpose it goes onto say, 24:53 is for those He foreknew, He predestined 24:57 to become like Jesus. 25:00 Your destiny is to be like Jesus and when you look 25:05 into the mirror of the word, you will see 25:08 who you really are in Christ. 25:11 Thank you all so much for coming. 25:20 The importance of programs coming in like Free Indeed 25:24 is huge for the women here and for myself personally. 25:27 We had this wonderful day and all these people came in 25:33 from Free Indeed and we were able to pray and worship 25:37 with them and the-- someone was able to sing 25:41 and Pastor Vega was able to preach, and it was a wonderful 25:47 coming together of people and I love when volunteers 25:51 come in personally because of their openness 25:55 and willingness to share their lives with us. 25:57 They don't treat us as if we are junk or garbage 26:01 or throwaways or castaways or outcast people 26:07 and we are people. We are people who need to hear 26:10 the word, Lord. 26:11 We are the people who need to find our way back to God, 26:16 because I don't believe there is any real separation 26:19 between ourselves and God is always present, 26:21 always in our lives, ever present in everything 26:23 and sometimes we need to have people come in 26:29 who can help us remember that and have opportunity 26:32 to express that in a open way, to pray and worship 26:37 and shout and say thank you in an open way 26:40 and when Free Indeed came in, there was such a spirit 26:43 of revival in the women. 26:45 Women were raising their hands and clapping 26:48 and standing up and testifying and crying out to God 26:51 and so whenever volunteers come in like that 26:56 with their hearts open, ready to share, 26:58 ready to worship, its transformational, 27:00 its transformational. 27:02 Some of you may know, my name is Lemuel Vega 27:05 and I work with 27:06 Christmas Behind Bars Outreach Ministry, 27:08 which carries the gospel message 27:10 literally around the world, 365 days a year. 27:13 We've come to a really critical point. 27:16 We need Bibles at this point 27:18 and we are asking for your help. 27:20 Do you have any idea as how we can get 27:22 700 Bibles every month to put in these people's hands? 27:26 We have a warehouse that's been donated 27:28 and we have skids of material in that warehouse. 27:32 Bibles, the skid is empty. 27:34 700 every month and we need your help. 27:36 A new Bible costs $3, 3 simple dollars 27:39 to put a brand new Bible into these people's hands. 27:43 Is there anybody here that would like a Bible, 27:47 but don't have one? 27:54 We're trying to get more Bibles brothers. 27:57 So if you don't have one, please pray 28:00 that we can get more Bibles. 28:02 At this point, we're asking for your help 28:05 combined with God's grace, 28:07 I know that the word of God and these inmates, 28:09 many of them, will be in the kingdom of heaven, 28:11 because you are willing to serve in this capacity. 28:14 Thank you very much. |
Revised 2014-12-17