Participants: C.A. Murray (Host), Lemuel Vega (Host), Shelley Quinn (Host), Carol Smith, Courtney Simpson, Jim Warthman, Kim, Tammy Atwood
Series Code: FIN
Program Code: FIN000012
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00:06 That is a sound that you just never
00:09 really get accustomed to and yet if you've got 00:13 to spend months or years here, it's a sound 00:17 that you've to get accustomed 00:18 to because it becomes the background noise, 00:20 the rhythm of your life. That sound wakes you up. 00:23 That sound puts you to bed. 00:25 That sound announces when you can go out 00:27 to meals or to the yard or when you have 00:29 to come back in and shut it down for the night. 00:32 That sound becomes the rhythm of your existence 00:37 for however long you're here. 00:40 On today's program, we are back 00:42 at the women's prison in Indiana. 00:45 Today, you're gonna meet Courtney, and Carol, and Kim 00:50 and you're gonna meet Tammy 00:52 and there's gonna be a very special message 00:54 from our own Shelley Quinn. 00:56 Courtney is one who's gonna talk about depression, 01:00 battling depression, battling circumstances 01:02 that she had no control over. 01:04 That's a message for you. 01:06 Carol has made good of her time in here. 01:10 She has worked. She is now a master chef. 01:12 In fact, she cooked for the crew 01:14 and I have it on good authority 01:15 that she applies her trade well. 01:17 She is a very, very good cook, there I say chef. 01:20 Tammy, the community worker 01:22 who got us in has a little something to say to you also. 01:26 And then Kim also has a strong message for us. 01:31 Lemuel Vega has a short interview. 01:32 So it's a very full program, a program 01:34 that has a lot to say to you, a program 01:36 that will encourage you as you stay 01:38 by for this edition of "Free Indeed." 01:57 Today we have Courtney Simpson with us. 01:59 Courtney, is this your first time in prison? 02:01 Yes, it is. 02:02 How long have you been in prison? 02:03 Three years. Three years. 02:04 How many years do you have remaining in prison? 02:07 I have 10 years left. 02:08 Okay, you are in prison 02:09 but something went wrong in this prison time of yours 02:12 and you are in maximum security, in a lockup facility? 02:16 Yes, what would you share a message of hope 02:18 with the world for those people 02:19 that are free by society standards 02:21 but yet they're locked up in that bondage? 02:24 Just step out-- outside of yourself 02:26 and let God step in. 02:27 Let Him--allow Him to take over whatever the situation is. 02:31 So He can carry you out with His hands and His ways. 02:35 He just--don't look for it in yourself 02:38 or no one else 'cause can nobody help you, 02:41 no one, just look to God, 02:43 He will be the one to care you, amen. 02:49 During that time in that little tiny segregation cell 02:54 somehow that hope begin to regenerate in your life. 02:57 Yes, would you share with me a moment about that in closing? 03:00 Well, the situation I was in lasted for about 03:03 seven or eight months and um, it went exactly 03:07 all the way locked but it was a situation 03:09 where you can-- you have no choice 03:11 but to remain calm and let God just guide you out. 03:15 Because without Him, I know I wouldn't have 03:17 been able to just come out here 03:19 and come and be able to find out about 03:22 more things like I still am today, 03:24 find out things about myself that I never knew possible. 03:29 I was very angry, very hard, 03:32 discouraged but through all that I let God just hold me. 03:37 God will hold you until He comes again. 03:40 Thank you, Courtney. 03:41 God has always been in my life. 03:46 I grew up in church but as a teenager 03:49 you still wanna go your own away 03:51 and find what's out there and be nosy. 03:54 And I was the one trying to find my own way 03:59 so-- I wasn't raised in a abusive home 04:05 so when I ended up in a abusive relationship, 04:09 it all came as a shock. 04:11 It came as a shock to my family. 04:16 The guy that I was so madly in love 04:18 with and held on to him, 04:23 he became abusive not only to me 04:26 but to my children. So one particular morning, 04:33 he struck my son 04:36 and the blow killed him. 04:39 And because I didn't leave him 04:44 as the State thought I should, 04:46 I was given a neglect charge. 04:50 When this happened, 04:52 I wanted to be mad at God, and I wanted to blame God, 04:56 why did you allow this to happen to my child? 04:58 He was so innocent. 05:01 And I always questionable Him 05:05 almost hateful but as I sat down, 05:10 he began to talk to me and told me, 05:12 "I'm not gonna leave you, 05:13 this is all make you stronger, this is all gonna workout." 05:17 So I just had to believe that and trust in God 05:20 and now that healed me and my family too. 05:24 We can even listen along with, by myself. 05:27 I have a 10-year-old son. 05:28 I have a 4-year-old daughter. 05:30 And I have a very strong family 05:31 who's still there for me today. 05:34 So I just have to be thankful for everything 05:37 that He's doing for me. Not even then, 05:40 even when I was going to, you know, 05:43 He stayed with me and I was just thanking 05:46 the little for the loving God and everything 05:49 that He's shown me has taught me 05:51 how to love people, not generally in just as a whole, 05:56 not just this about a person, 05:58 or that about a person or be one sided. 06:03 He's just awesome. 06:06 Holy and righteous is thy name, oh, Lord 06:14 Holy and righteous is thy name 06:19 Every knee shall bow and every tongue 06:26 Must confess that 06:29 Holy and righteous is thy name 06:35 You can snap your fingers, its okay. 06:37 King of kings and you're the Lord of lords 06:45 King of kings and the Lord of lords 06:52 The whole earth is full of thy glory 06:59 The whole earth is full of thy grace 07:07 The whole earth is full of thy mercy 07:15 Holy and righteous is thy name 07:22 Holy, and Thou are righteous 07:28 And You are holy, and Thou are righteous 07:35 You are Holy, and Thou are righteous 07:43 And You are Holy, and Thou are righteous 07:49 You are so Holy, 07:53 Thank you for being so righteous 07:57 You are, you are Holy, 08:01 Thank you for loving me, righteous 08:07 Holy and thank you for being so, righteous 08:14 Holy and righteous is thy name 08:19 Holy and righteous is thy name 08:27 Holy and righteous is thy name 08:34 Holy and righteous is thy name 08:42 Holy and righteous is thy name 08:49 Holy and righteous is thy name 08:56 Holy 09:05 In 1980, I got charged with a murder charge. 09:10 I came from a very Christian family, 09:13 when I was a kid. 09:15 I got married into a very, very abusive relationship. 09:20 I guess the last draw was when he threatened to kill me 09:24 and my kids, but 09:26 Everybody in here is not bad, we made a mistake 09:30 and you can go from whatever you do in here. 09:33 Since then, I have got my GED. 09:37 I have associate in food and management. 09:41 I've got a bachelors in humanities. 09:44 I have 18 years of culinary art at the old prison. 09:49 And I've got almost two here. 09:52 If it wasn't for God, I wouldn't have made it 09:54 because there was a lot of times 09:55 when I first came here with 80 years, 09:57 I didn't think I would ever see daylight. 10:00 It was very unreal to me 10:03 because I've never been in trouble. 10:04 I never had been arrested or anything. 10:08 So it was really hard and I started praying and asked 10:14 Him to give me the strength to make it and He has. 10:19 He has given me all the strength. 10:20 He's given me good jobs. 10:21 He's given me good bosses. 10:23 I mean, I couldn't--for a prison, 10:26 I couldn't ask for better. 10:28 and I know He's the one 10:29 that's put these people in my life. 10:33 In here I do feel like I'm free indeed. 10:36 It means to me that I'm free in my heart. 10:39 I may not be able to walk outside 10:42 but I'm free within me. 10:44 God has given me that freedom 10:46 and He's given me good friends, good family, good loved ones. 10:53 He's taken care of me. 10:56 Today we are at the Indiana Women's Prison 10:58 and we have Tammy Atwood with us 11:00 at the Indiana Women's Prison. 11:01 And Miss Atwood, what is your position here 11:03 at the Indiana Women's Prison? 11:04 I'm the community involvement coordinator here. 11:07 And what does that entail? 11:09 We work with the live different programs. 11:11 We have a lot of giveback in this institution. 11:14 We believe in giving back to the community 11:15 with different programs. 11:17 What kind of value or blessing does a lady receive 11:21 when she has the opportunity to volunteer 11:22 her time in prison to give back to society? 11:26 Self esteem, one of them. 11:28 When they walk out the store, 11:30 they know they've done a lot of good things 11:31 in this community that they are very much 11:33 a part of this community from all that they have done. 11:36 So even though they've been locked up for wrong, 11:37 when they leave, this gives them a sense of well being 11:40 and a sense of a connection when they go out. 11:42 Absolutely. Okay, well, Miss Atwood, 11:43 I thank you for being more than just 11:45 an employee of the Department of Corrections. 11:47 You go above and beyond 11:48 and we say thank you very much, very much. 11:50 Thank You, Lem. God bless you. 11:54 I would like to bring Sister Kim up here. 11:57 And Kim is somebody that's been in the same prison 12:00 with you all for sometime and God provided 12:03 that she could go from this prison house 12:06 to the free world but there's something really 12:08 unique about Kim is Kim has not forgotten her 12:12 sisters behind bars, so you're not forgotten. 12:15 There is hope in this time of need. 12:17 There is hope because God has opened the way 12:19 to where inmates can go back in to let you know 12:22 you're not forgotten. 12:23 Now we don't come today 12:25 half-stepping back into the prison. 12:27 Today we come and with all the zeal 12:29 and all the blessings that God has given us 12:32 because we want you to know that there is hope. 12:34 And Kim is one of your own 12:35 and Kim is here today to share 12:37 with you the Gospel message in a moment of time 12:41 to not give up and to not look back. Kim, 12:43 would you come up here please? 12:46 Would you just look at these ladies from the heart 12:49 that you once sat in these chairs, 12:51 and just let them now that as you are free now 12:53 by society standards, 12:55 that somewhere on this journey freedom started 12:57 while you were in here to encourage them. 12:59 I would be happy to. 13:00 And you said a very profile statement 13:03 as far as by society standards 13:05 because I was free in here, amen. 13:09 Because "Who the Son sets free, is free indeed." 13:14 And God set me free in 1991 December the 3rd, 13:18 3:30 PM, I'll never forget it. 13:21 So when I walked inside of these prison walls, 13:23 I was already free. 13:25 The chains had already fell off. 13:27 And I just decided not to look back once I got here. 13:33 But I was thinking about, you know, 13:34 what could I share today 13:37 and the Spirit gave me the scripture, 13:39 Jeremiah 29:11, that says, 13:42 "For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, 13:46 thoughts of good and not of evil to give you 13:48 hope for your future and an expected end." 13:52 So when I thought about, God had a plan for my life 13:57 and He said it's a good plan, 13:59 then I thought what am I doing here 14:02 if God has a good plan for my life. 14:05 And so I began to take the steps towards 14:08 being the person that God created me 14:10 to be from the foundation of the world 14:13 because life is really all about choices. 14:17 And I chose to be a Christian. 14:19 I choose to be free. Nobody is making me do it. 14:22 This is how I want to live 14:24 and I choose to come back in just to show you 14:28 that God can make a difference in your life 14:32 if you wanna be changed. And again John 8:36 says, 14:37 "Who the Son sets free, is free indeed." 14:39 These prison walls cannot keep God out, amen. 14:44 There is no bar that's been made 14:46 that can keep the Spirit of God from moving in your life, 14:50 if you want Him to move. 14:52 And I'm a witness that even being in here 14:55 and being an inmate, God still allowed me 14:59 to have the freedom because when the guards see 15:01 that you really do and all that you wanna be, 15:05 to be changed then they'll begin to give you 15:08 favor even inside these prison walls 15:11 when they see that you're really not playing games, 15:14 what you really wanna be about the business of the Lord 15:17 but again when you choose to be a Christian, 15:20 you choose to be like God. 15:23 Of course there's gonna be opposition 15:25 but there's opposition out in the world, amen. 15:28 There's opposition out there 15:30 but as long as you stay on that path, 15:32 as long as you stay on the path to holiness 15:34 and righteousness, I'm a witness 15:36 that your life will never ever, ever be the same. 15:40 Before I came here today, 15:42 I was over at the Juvenile Center, 15:43 we did a three-day retreat for the girls, 15:46 Grooming of the Queens Retreat 15:49 because it really starts right here. 15:51 The choices start right here 15:54 what am I gonna do with my life? 15:56 Because sin will take you further than you want to go. 15:59 It will keep you lower than you wanna stay 16:01 and it'll cost you more than 16:02 you ever thought you wanted to pay. 16:04 But there is a God who we serve--Amen. 16:08 That can make all the difference in your life. 16:11 That can open up doors that no man can shut. 16:14 And He can shut doors that no man can open. 16:16 Amen. Let me ask you a question. 16:23 What inspired you, you said that when you came here 16:26 the chains had already been set free 16:28 but yet you were coming to prison perhaps in shackles. 16:31 Where on this journey were you inspired or someone 16:33 directed your thoughts towards a different path? 16:36 I was in jail and I was facing 16:39 a 50-year sentence for dealing drugs. 16:42 And I got down on my knees. 16:44 Like yourself I had been 16:46 to some of the best treatment centers in the world. 16:49 None of them could set me free. 16:51 None of them could get me free 16:53 from that cocaine bondage that was-- 16:55 had me gripped everyday. 16:56 I had a thousand dollar a day habit. Wow. 17:00 Nothing could set me free. 17:02 And, I mean, I went to some of the best hospitals in the world 17:05 'cause my husband had some of the best insurance. 17:08 But it was in that jail cell 17:10 when I looked around at that 2 x 4 cell 17:13 and I asked myself, how did you get here? 17:16 And I went down on my knees 17:18 and I asked the Lord to please, 17:21 Glory Halleluiah, I said, Lord, 17:25 if you could just come into my life and change me, 17:30 I promise, God, I will never ever, 17:34 ever look back and change me. 17:38 He did. He came into my heart, made the difference. 17:42 Yes, I got the time but I did not turn my back on God. 17:47 And in 2006, what man said say could not be done, 17:53 never been done before, 17:54 Never been done before, I was granted clemency 17:58 by the government of the State of Indiana, amen. 18:05 Now you said something, you said something that God 18:09 can set any of these people free that want to be free. 18:13 I believe in my heart that every woman 18:15 sitting in this auditorium today, 18:18 they want true freedom just like you, 18:20 even though you're in active addiction, 18:22 you sought help through these treatment facilities 18:25 and God just sometimes let's us go down 18:27 on our own way long enough to where we see, 18:29 we can't get no help but through Him. Amen. 18:32 So I believe that every one of these women want change, 18:34 what do you think? Right, 18:35 even when I was doing drugs, 18:37 Mr. Vega, there was something in me 18:39 that wanted to be free 18:41 but I didn't know how to be free. 18:44 I didn't know how to break that grip off of my life 18:48 but when I went down on my knees and I cried, 18:51 Lord, help me please. God heard my cry. 18:56 He reached way down and picked me up, 18:59 set my feet on a solid rock. 19:02 And my life has never been the same. 19:05 Amen. Sister, that's I agree 100%. 19:08 In closing, in closing, would you just look right out 19:11 there to the cameras and now you're no longer 19:13 talking to the inmates that are incarcerated, 19:15 you are talking to the world 19:16 that's still suffering in active addiction, 19:18 what would you share with them today? 19:21 I would have to go back to Jeremiah 29:11, 19:25 where God said, "For I know the thoughts 19:27 that I think towards you, thoughts of good 19:30 and not of evil to give you hope for your future 19:34 and to give you an expected end. 19:37 For God so love this world 19:39 that He gave His only begotten son 19:42 that who should ever believe in Him 19:44 will not perish but have everlasting life." 19:47 And verse 17 of John 3 says, 19:49 "For God came not into this world to condemn this world 19:53 but that the world through Him might be saved." 19:56 Amen, what is Jeremiah 29:13 say? 20:01 Jeremiah 29:13 says, "If you cry unto Me, 20:05 He said that He would hear you 20:07 and then He would answer you, 20:10 when you cry with your whole heart." 20:11 With your whole heart. 20:13 Sisters, that's what we got to do. 20:14 We can't come half stepping. 20:15 We gotta say, Lord, here I am, I want change, 20:18 please help me if You're really real. 20:20 And, sisters, he'll begin to transform us. 20:22 And jail house religion is not weak, amen. 20:25 You might see some gangster going over to the church, 20:28 give them a break because they too want 20:30 change just like you do, amen. 20:31 Sister, thank you very much. God bless you. 20:38 If only we could grasp the reality of this that God 20:42 is not asking you to lead a Christian life 20:45 to walk in obedience by your power. 20:49 God is saying, Come to Me and learn to rely on Me 20:54 and I will empower you to do these things. 20:58 Have you got a drug habit? I will empower you. 21:02 I will cut you free. Psalm 129 verse 4 says, 21:06 "I will cut you free 21:07 from the cord of the wicked that binds you." 21:10 God loves us perfectly. You are the apple of His eye. 21:16 He is the perfect father whose love is unfailing. 21:20 He is your provider, 21:21 your protector and your provision. 21:23 And the Bible says He will instruct you 21:25 with His eye upon you. His eye is always on you 21:30 and He will lead you and show you the way. 21:33 And as any good father will, God disciplines us. 21:38 And you know sometimes when I'm out I'll tell people, 21:40 I pray for God's discipline and people will go, 21:46 you hear a collective gasp around the audience 21:49 'cause it's like oh, I don't want 21:51 to pray for God's discipline. 21:53 You know what, He's gonna discipline us 21:55 one way or the other and as long 21:57 as we're praying for discipline Lord show us 22:02 His discipline is in love and in gentleness 22:05 and what He does is when we need to be disciplined, 22:08 He whispers into our ear. He says don't go that way, 22:12 don't go that way, child, that way leads to pain and sorrow, 22:16 please, don't go that way. 22:18 Sometimes we ignore Him and we just keep on going, 22:21 got a little attitude going on and then God will put 22:25 some kind of hindrance in our path to discipline us. 22:32 Lot of you are here because you're receiving 22:34 the discipline of God and you should be thankful for it. 22:38 Because you know what, our life on this earth, 22:41 if you look at the line of infinity from time-- 22:44 before time began to where-- 22:47 we can't even see the end of it. 22:49 If we had a long straight line out here, 22:51 life on earth would take up less than 22:53 an eighth of an inch. 22:56 What we're looking for is life eternal. 23:02 God, when trials and tribulations come our way, 23:07 He's there to comfort us, to walk us through, 23:11 to deliver us from times of trouble. 23:13 The Bible says when we're afflicted, 23:15 when we're in trouble and distress, 23:17 He is afflicted. He sees our tears 23:22 and this Book of Psalm says 23:23 He even collects them in His bottle. 23:26 Get this one, Zephaniah 3:17, 23:30 "The Lord your God in your midst. 23:33 The Mighty one will save, 23:36 He will rejoice over you with gladness. 23:40 He will quiet you with singing, quiet you with His love, 23:45 He will rejoice over you with singing." 23:49 Is that your picture of God? 23:51 Can you see him up there rejoicing 23:55 because you turn your heart to Him, 23:57 rejoicing because you make the right decision, 24:03 the right choice. God will never force you. 24:07 He knows our thoughts before we speak them. 24:09 He's watchful over our comings and goings. 24:12 He is aware of the smallest detail in our life. 24:16 The Bible even says he can number the hairs on your head 24:19 and He has had some-- I've had trouble 24:21 with my thyroid lately and He's having trouble 24:23 keeping up with how many hairs on my head 24:25 have fallen out. 24:27 But He says He will not forget us 24:30 because we are permanently tattooed on His palms. 24:34 Oh, no wonder John said in First John 3:1, 24:39 "Behold what manner of love 24:42 the Father has bestowed upon us, 24:44 that we should be called the children of God!" 24:48 It's difficult for us to comprehend this 24:52 but we are the king-- 24:53 the children of the king of kings. 24:56 You are His princesses, God is love. 24:58 He is the very essence of love. 25:01 And by the grace of our relationship with Christ Jesus, 25:05 this gift of love is magnified 25:08 and manifested and the Bible tells us in Ephesians 1 25:11 that already He has blessed us with every Spiritual blessing. 25:17 If God was willing to sacrifice His son for us, 25:21 how could He not then freely do all things for us? 25:27 He invites you. He sends His Spirit into your heart 25:31 that you can cry out Abba, Father. 25:34 You know what Abba means? 25:37 Abba is a-- an Aramaic expression 25:40 and it's a very intimate word for father. 25:44 It means like papa, daddy. 25:47 God wants you to call on Him in such a way. 25:51 You are His child. You are His precious child. 25:58 Psalm 27:10 says, "When my father 26:00 and mother forsake me, the LORD will take care of me." 26:04 He's a father to the fathers. 26:07 He is a defender of the widows. 26:11 He sets the solitary in families. 26:14 He says "Fear not, for I am with you, 26:18 be not dismayed, for I am your God, 26:20 I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, 26:25 I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." 26:28 Let's say prayer. Heavenly Father, 26:33 we--everything that I had spoken, 26:36 Lord, I have taken from Your word and Your Bible says 26:40 that all of your promises are ours in Christ Jesus. 26:44 Father, we so little understand Your perfect love. 26:47 I ask in the name of Jesus that the things 26:51 that have been spoken today will penetrate 26:54 the hearts of my sisters. 26:56 I ask that You open our eyes 26:58 and take away this veil and help us to see 27:02 and to understand to some degree 27:05 how great Your love is. 27:07 And Father, pour out Your love into our hearts 27:10 that we may love You with all of our heart, 27:13 soul, mind and strength. In Jesus name, amen. 27:23 I would just like to thank everyone 27:25 that's here. We thank you 27:26 from just a handful of people 27:28 but to know that there are many more 27:30 that appreciate it that never get to see you 27:32 'cause these people are down. 27:33 Their freedom's been taken away. 27:35 They see their family once or twice a week. 27:38 They need something. 27:39 They need to know people care. 27:42 A lot of people think about them 27:44 but you can think about them all you want to 27:46 until you come in, you get involved 27:49 because they're not just put away and forgotten. 27:51 And I'm happy that the whole crew 27:53 could come here today and put this all together. 27:55 It's very important. 28:05 I would like to thank the administration 28:06 for bringing the program to us 28:08 because it brought quite a highlight to my life 28:10 and I will always remember it over everything 28:12 that I've experienced and that they need 28:14 to keep bringing it back for the other people, 28:17 I mean, when there was no hope, 28:18 they brought hope to us. |
Revised 2014-12-17