Participants: C.A. Murray (Host), Lemuel Vega (Host), Rob Hicks, Shakiyla Woodard, Vince Boyd
Series Code: FIN
Program Code: FIN000015
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00:01 Hey, I'm CA Murray and this is "Free Indeed."
00:03 It's a different kind of program. 00:05 On "Free Indeed" you get to meet real people in real situations, 00:09 who have made mistakes but are trying to correct their lives, 00:12 trying to change their destinies, 00:14 trying to get their selves correct not only with society 00:18 but with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 00:19 This is Prince, Prince has the time to create 00:23 chess pieces out of tissue paper 00:26 but he also has time to read the word. 00:28 He has time to read his Bible and he plans on getting out, 00:32 getting straight, giving his life to God 00:36 and becoming a servant of God and a servant to man. 00:39 That's what "Free Indeed" is all about, 00:41 its real people telling real stories. 00:57 I'm free indeed. 01:03 When I was arrested and prior to my arrest, 01:08 I had numerous associates and people 01:12 that always wanted to be around me. 01:13 I'm goofy person, I'm easy to get along 01:15 but you know and I like to have fun 01:17 but outside of that I had money. 01:19 So people like to be around me because they knew 01:22 that whatever they needed, I would most likely 01:23 get it or I'll find a way for them to have it or whatever. 01:26 And when I got arrested everybody disappeared, 01:30 everybody and my mom always 01:32 tells me that family is all we have. 01:34 You know, your family will always be. 01:36 If anybody else, if everybody else leaves, 01:38 your mom is always going to be here and she was there. 01:41 And before I realized, you know, this is after months 01:46 of sitting in this county. 01:47 It set me to realize that my family is the only people 01:50 that are showing up here. 01:51 And that are doing the small things that really matter, 01:54 everything else doesn't matter. 01:57 I took so much stuff for granted, 01:59 like tying with my family or just seeing 02:01 their face or hearing their voice, 02:03 I took all these things for granted and I never-I had 02:09 so much materialistic stuff and none of that matters now. 02:13 I never thought that being put in the situation like this, 02:17 everybody would disappear and everybody 02:19 would just find the next person. 02:22 You know, just vanish out of my life. 02:23 I never thought that they would just disappear like that. 02:27 And when I was arrested, my lowest point. 02:33 I was in the county jail and I had beat this girl up 02:37 and I had to stay in a room by myself for 28 days. 02:41 No toilet paper, no type of hygiene. 02:43 I couldn't keep a towel, I couldn't keep watch clock. 02:45 They took my mattress from me every morning about 5:30. 02:47 I didn't get it back till about 10 o'clock at night. 02:49 And during this time it seemed like everything 02:54 around me crumbled and all like I have 02:56 in that little room with me was a Bible. 02:58 And I can only have one visit a week for 30 minutes. 03:01 And my mom came to see me and started to share 03:04 with me and just tried to help me make it through that. 03:07 And that was some of the worst-- that was the worst 03:11 that I have experienced I thought, 03:14 and so down the road when my mother relapsed again. 03:19 And I just fell like I was back into a corner and the only thing 03:23 that I could do was call out to God. 03:25 And I didn't realized that's where my help and my strength 03:28 lied until I actually decided to give everything 03:31 that was on my shoulders to Him. 03:32 I didn't realize that it would be that much easier 03:35 in the midst of all that madness and all that chaos 03:38 if I just turned it over. 03:41 At times when I had a lot of money, 03:43 I felt like I was, you know, unstoppable. 03:47 And even when my money was low, 03:50 I knew that I will get it back as soon as my phone rung, 03:52 I would get that money right back. 03:54 It didn't matter to me, you know, when because 03:57 I knew that time will come eventually. 03:59 And I didn't-I place my money before everything. 04:03 I stopped going to church. 04:04 I mean I respect my grandfather a whole lot. 04:07 He is the main man in my life next to God. 04:10 And I-- he will call 04:12 and asked me to come in church and get on the drums. 04:14 And I'm like, "Okay, I'll be there." 04:15 And my phone would ring to go give money 04:17 and I will do that instead of coming to do 04:18 what my grandfather asked me to do. 04:20 I realized giving myself to God was the only answer 04:24 when everything else that I exhausted 04:27 all those other options, the people, 04:29 the things they all failed. 04:32 That is when I realized that there was no other way. 04:35 There is no other option or avenue 04:38 that I could choose besides God. 04:41 I definitely feel that people can be outside of this prison 04:45 and still be imprisoned in their soul. 04:48 I was so black and darkened inside, 04:50 I felt like I was swimming in a sea of emptiness. 04:53 And was trying to fill that with instinct ratification 04:56 and it never worked ever, it may have last for a minute. 04:58 You know, with a blend or a drink 05:00 or whatever but it always went way. 05:03 But when you fill yourself up with the goodness of Jesus, 05:06 there is no better feeling than that. 05:08 And it's not a feeling that comes and goes, 05:10 it's something that you want to hold on to and it's something 05:13 that you want to share with someone else 05:15 and try to encourage them to try to grasp or hold off, 05:18 so that they can share that with the next person. 05:22 What is grace? What is mercy? 05:25 Are grace and mercy two sides of the same coin? 05:29 Is grace, mercy in action or is mercy, grace in acting? 05:34 Is grace not getting what we deserve or getting 05:37 what we don't deserve? 05:39 Or getting what we want or not getting what we want. 05:44 In today's program Vince is a recipient of God's mercy. 05:48 He sings about God's mercy and His grace. 05:51 It's God's grace that keeps us. 05:53 It's His mercy that draws us. 05:56 It keeps us sound and saved 05:58 and sane even in a place like this. 06:05 I had children when I was right coming out of high school. 06:09 Started having children-- and my whole thing 06:12 was I had to take care of them. 06:14 I knew that my parents took care of me 06:17 and I will be there for my children. 06:19 And at first I tried working 06:21 but I just wasn't making enough money. 06:23 So my thing was to by any means necessary 06:26 to take care of my children, I had do it. 06:28 So that's what I did, whatever it took 06:31 to get to feed my children's what I did. 06:33 Back then it seem like the not so honest made more money. 06:36 So they are not so honest job, that's the job that I took. 06:41 I sold drugs, I obtain items 06:44 that were stolen and I resold them. 06:45 I was middleman, I was all that. 06:48 When you become a hustler, if--to me hustling 06:51 is not just selling drugs. 06:53 If it comes down to painting a house, 06:55 I'm going to be the best house painter I could paint it. 06:57 If you're going to paint it for $100, 06:59 I'm going to paint it for 99. 07:01 So I make sure that I get that job. 07:03 So if it comes to feed my children. 07:05 I'm going to do it. 07:06 I can't envision a time or situation 07:09 that where I want to go back to where I was. 07:12 Because my mother always told me, 07:13 if you do what you did, you continue to get what you got it. 07:16 So you're going to get the same results for your action so. 07:20 Now there's no possible way I go back. 07:22 When I came to the system, at first I was angry because 07:26 there were lot of things that I did do and didn't get caught 07:29 for it and I thought about it when 07:31 I sat back and to see about myself 07:33 and I really thought about it. 07:34 I was really blessed because 07:37 I didn't have to make it this far. 07:39 I could have gotten killed, 07:40 things that I was doing out on the street. 07:42 And to me God put you where you need, 07:46 where He needs you to be actually. 07:47 Because doing what I was doing I could have been dead. 07:51 I wouldn't be able to call my children. 07:53 I wouldn't be able to write to them. 07:54 They wouldn't be able to come and visit me. 07:56 They wouldn't have a dad at all. 07:58 So I think he just put me somewhere 08:00 to sit down to really, you know, catch my breath basically 08:04 and get by head together. 08:05 I was at wreck one day. 08:06 I went over there to try to give my, 08:09 try to work out a little bit. 08:10 And I heard a guy singing in the yard. 08:12 Two guys are walking and they were singing 08:13 and so I walked to them and I was listening. 08:16 So I asked the guy, I said, "Hey, do you know this song." 08:18 Like that and I started singing it. 08:20 And he said, "Hey, you know, 08:21 you can sing a little bit like then." 08:22 And I said, "Well, I do a little." 08:24 And then he said, well, would you like to come over 08:25 here and come over check at the choir like that. 08:27 So I was like ah, I don't know like there so. 08:31 I said well, I'll check it out, went there, so he said, 08:35 well, here sing this with me. 08:36 So we started singing and we've been 08:37 singing through the whole [838]. 08:39 And finally I get a pass telling me to call 08:41 to the chapel and they know. 08:43 And I'm here and I wouldn't, I mean it's the best thing 08:45 that ever happened to me as far being down here. 08:49 Having guys to sing with and worship with. 08:53 And if you just need somebody to talk to, 08:55 just I feel like the choir is my brothers. 08:57 All of them are my brothers even from another mother 09:00 because I can go to them 09:01 and we can talk about anything. 09:03 And if I have a problem or they have a problem, 09:05 we can share that with each other. 09:06 And it's almost like, you know, like first hand. 09:09 I mean it's like, like Vince our choir director. 09:13 If I'm having a problem with something, 09:14 I can go to him. He is going to stop doing 09:17 what he is doing to make sure I'm okay. 09:19 Again I've being singing for him. 09:22 God's mercy kept me means to me on a personal level 09:25 that if it wasn't for God's mercy, 09:28 I wouldn't be here today. 09:30 I'd probably be six feet under. 09:32 So it means a lot to me and it comes, 09:35 it really hits home when it comes 09:37 you know my personal life because 09:39 if it weren't for God's mercy shew... 09:44 I just wouldn't be and I know that for a fact. 09:49 Lamentations 3:22 says, "God's mercies are new everyday. 09:55 His compassion fails us not. 09:58 Oh, great is thy faithfulness." 10:01 When you think about what the Lord 10:02 has done for you and where He has brought you from, 10:05 you should want to shout hallelujah. 10:07 God's mercy will sustain you and will keep you, amen. 10:22 I almost let go 10:31 I felt like I just couldn't take life any more 10:39 My problems had me bound 10:44 Depression weighed me down 10:47 But God held me close 10:51 So I wouldn't let go 10:55 God's mercy kept me 11:00 So I wouldn't let go Hallelujah 11:10 I almost gave up 11:18 I was right at the edge of a break through 11:21 I couldn't see it 11:26 The devil really had me 11:30 But Jesus came and grabbed me 11:34 And He held me close 11:38 So I wouldn't let go 11:42 God's mercy kept me 11:46 So I wouldn't let go 11:51 So I'm here to day because God kept me 11:59 I'm alive today only because of His grace 12:06 Oh, He kept me 12:11 God kept me 12:15 He kept me 12:18 So I wouldn't let go 12:24 Thank you, Jesus. Hallelujah. Come one man. 12:28 I almost let go 12:35 I felt like I just couldn't take life anymore 12:41 Come on man 12:44 My problems had me bound 12:48 Depression weighed me down 12:51 But God held me close 12:54 Yes, indeed 12:55 So I wouldn't let go 12:59 And God's mercy kept me 13:02 So I wouldn't let go 13:07 So I'm here today because God kept me 13:15 I'm alive today only because of His grace 13:22 Oh, He kept me 13:26 My God kept me 13:30 He kept me 13:33 He kept me God kept me 13:38 He kept me 13:41 Jesus kept me 13:43 God kept me 13:45 Oh, He kept me 13:47 He kept me 13:49 I know that God kept me 13:51 God kept me 13:53 He kept me 13:57 In storm and in rain 13:59 God kept me 14:00 God was right by my side 14:03 He kept me 14:04 When I was running out of my mind 14:08 God was right by my side 14:10 He kept me 14:13 Through the storm and the rain 14:16 And when my body was in pain 14:20 God reached down and picked me up 14:22 He put my feet on a solid rock 14:27 In the midnight I would wake 14:31 God was right by my side 14:33 Yes, He was 14:35 Trouble all around me 14:36 And I couldn't find my way 14:38 God, my God stepped in 14:41 He stepped in Yes, He did 14:43 He picked me up like 14:44 He did Daniel in the lions' den 14:46 He was checking me like 14:48 he did with Paul and Simon [...14.51] 14:51 He reborn them in the fire of furnace 14:53 My God would do the same thing 14:55 Same thing for you 14:57 Yes, He will 14:59 God, trust in the Lord 15:02 So I would know 15:06 He kept me 15:09 So I wouldn't let go Hallelujah. 15:27 Let's pray, Father God, 15:28 we're going to reach your word now. 15:29 And we ask You please shine the light in our eyes, 15:34 so that we can truly see. 15:36 We thank You in Jesus' name, amen. 15:39 Amen. "Then he began 15:43 to speak to them in parables." 15:45 I'm in Mark 12:1 reading from the New King James. 15:50 "A man planted a vineyard and set a hedge around it, 15:54 dug a place for the wine vat and built a tower. 15:59 Then he leased it to vinedressers 16:02 and went into a far country. 16:06 Now at vintage-time he sent a servant to the vinedressers, 16:11 that he might receive some of the fruit 16:14 of the vineyard from the vinedressers." 16:17 It's only fair, he want to get little some back 16:18 on his investment. 16:21 "And they took him and beat him and sent him away empty-handed. 16:26 Again he sent another servant, and at him they threw stones, 16:32 wounded him in the head, 16:34 and sent him away shamefully treated. 16:39 And again he sent another, and him they killed, 16:42 and many others, beating some and killing some. 16:48 Therefore still having one son, his beloved, 16:52 he sent him to them at last, saying they will respect my son. 16:59 But those vinedressers said among themselves, 17:02 'This is the heir. Come, let us kill him, 17:05 and the inheritance will be ours.' 17:11 So they took him and killed him 17:14 and cast him out of the vineyard. 17:18 Therefore what will the owner of the vineyard do? 17:25 He will come and destroy the vinedressers, 17:29 and give the vineyard to others." 17:35 There is an old song sung by Elvis Presley. 17:39 I guess it's got to be better part 17:40 of 60 years old called Return to Sender. 17:47 Now if you know that song, you're no baby. 17:54 Because that's an old song. 17:55 And I remember hearing that when I was a little fat. 17:58 That song is almost 60 years old. 18:00 But the thoughts of that song are still the same. 18:06 It's about a guy who loves a girl and he is sending 18:10 her letter to tell him about his love. 18:15 But she is sending them back unopened and unread. 18:22 And so the last part of the song says, 18:24 this time I'm going to walk right up 18:28 and put it right in her hand. 18:33 And if it comes back the very next day 18:38 then I'll understand. 18:41 She wrote upon it "return to sender." 18:47 I don't think there's anything worse in the world 18:53 than loving somebody, who don't love you. 18:56 Amen. That's about the worst thing 19:01 in the world, loving somebody, who doesn't love you. 19:05 Amen. Caring about somebody, 19:07 who doesn't care about you. 19:09 Needing somebody who just doesn't need you. 19:15 That's tough Amen. 19:19 This parable that's recorded 19:21 here in Mark is also written in the Book of Luke 20. 19:26 And Christ is talking about that kind of relationship. 19:32 God sent prophets, priests, finally Jesus. 19:39 We neglected the priests, 19:41 rejected the prophets and killed His Son. 19:47 It's tough when you love people, who don't love you. 19:50 That's right. Me people, don't need you. 19:57 Care about people that don't care about you. 20:03 Years ago when I first realized this as a young Christian, 20:08 I kind of felt bad for God. 20:15 Because it occurred to me that God 20:17 was a prisoner of His own love. 20:23 God's in this thing for keeps. 20:27 He can't get out. 20:31 God is as much a prisoner as you are. 20:36 Have you ever thought about that. 20:38 He can't get free, 20:42 He cannot stop loving. 20:48 1 John 4:8 says, "He that loveth 20:50 not knoweth not God, for God is love." 20:53 Not has love, sells love, rents love, 20:56 gives love, God is love. 21:04 He is a prisoner of His own love. 21:10 He is got to love you. 21:13 And He cannot stop loving you 21:17 whether you love Him or not. 21:24 It's tough when you love somebody 21:27 that doesn't love you. 21:29 Care about somebody, doesn't care about you. 21:34 Needs somebody who doesn't need you. 21:40 So when I realize that I felt bad for God. 21:44 Then I realized I don't have to pity God. 21:47 God needs to pity me. 21:53 But He is a prisoner of His own love. 21:59 God cannot change, He says that. 22:02 I'm the Lord, thy God I change not. 22:05 So He loves you yesterday, today forever and there 22:09 is nothing you can do to change that. 22:15 You know, I'm so glad and its in my just popped in my mind. 22:19 There is nothing you can do that's God is not prepared for 22:21 Amen. You can't surprise God. 22:24 That's right. Can't sneak up on him. 22:27 It's funny sometimes we do things 22:29 and we say what was I thinking. 22:32 Did you ever do that? 22:35 I don't know what is going through my head 22:37 I'm so what was I thinking.. And you're surprised at you. 22:43 But it's interesting the devil is not surprised 22:50 because he prodded you to do it. 22:52 So he knew it was coming. 22:55 God is not surprised because He knew it was coming before 22:58 the thought entered your mind. 22:59 The only person that surprised 23:01 when you do the things you do, is you. 23:04 Amen. Because God is not surprised, 23:08 devil is not surprised. 23:11 And through all of that God says, 23:14 I love you still, I can't stop loving. 23:19 Let me show you a great text, just popped in my brain. 23:22 Let me show you and this is a great text. 23:24 2 Timothy 2:13, its great text. 23:29 "If we are faithless, He remains faithful." 23:36 Yeah. "He cannot deny Himself." 23:42 Now here is what that saying. 23:44 He's not saying if you give upon the faith 23:46 you're still going to be saved. 23:48 That's not what he is saying. 23:51 God is saying His faithfulness 23:55 is not dependent upon your faithfulness. 23:58 Amen. Right. He is saying 24:01 I don't move the goalpost. 24:04 I'll always be here whether you're looking for me or not. 24:11 So when you run away, I'm right here waiting 24:15 for you and when you get back around to looking for Me, 24:19 I will be right where you left Me. 24:22 Do you follow me. 24:25 Whether you are faithful or faithless, 24:30 I'm going to be faithful. 24:32 So that when you get around to need something, 24:35 I have it ready for you. 24:38 He cannot deny himself that's just how He is. 24:41 He can't stop loving you. 24:43 He can't stop caring about you. 24:45 He can't stop needing you because that's what God does, 24:50 He can't do anything else, cannot change. 24:55 He is the loving God. 24:58 And He loves us with an everlasting love. 25:05 Ah, Rob, it is, this is very serious. 25:07 This is a very life changing experience 25:11 that you've shared with me in that baptism orientation. 25:15 Tell me little bit about yourself 25:17 and why you made this commitment? 25:18 Well, 12 years in penitentiary, five years ago, 25:24 after 25 years of drug addiction I fell on my face 25:28 in a visit room and gave my heart to God. 25:31 Amen. What inspired you, who told you about God, 25:34 who encouraged you, who gave you a Bible. 25:35 Tell me about that? 25:37 A family friend after 30 years of not seeing her. 25:42 As she wrote me a letter and asked 25:44 to get on my visit list. 25:46 Okay, no problem, she says will you put 25:48 my new husband on there too. 25:50 Yeah, no problem. 25:51 Well, the next letter I get she says my husband is minister. 25:56 Okay, I was kind of raised in a church. 25:59 I can handle that. 26:01 After a little while, we corresponded 26:05 they came to see me and I couldn't get 26:08 to the visit room fast enough to get with this preacher 26:11 to give my heart to God. 26:13 I was so sick and tire of being sick and tired 26:16 in my life in drugs and alcohol. 26:18 And the freedom I feel now on the inside, 26:22 the freedom from that bondage to drugs is so powerful. 26:26 Yeah, freedom on the inside, 26:27 you're on the inside on the inside. 26:29 So double inside and you're free indeed. 26:32 Amen, praise God let me ask you something man. 26:34 As far as expressed to me and our viewers 26:37 about the power of the gospel. 26:39 You haven't been baptized yet. 26:40 But tell me about the power that God 26:42 has instilled in your life prior to baptism? 26:46 God started with me 10 years before I got saved. 26:51 He started dropping things by the wayside one at a time. 26:54 What kind of things. 26:56 First he dropped away alcohol, in 2001 I quit drinking. 27:00 Then he took away some hatred in my heart for my codefendant. 27:04 I want to kill him for years. 27:06 I had murder in my heart. 27:08 Amen. And if I would have seen him, 27:09 I would have killed him. Amen. 27:11 He took away, he took away the drugs in 2008. 27:18 It was after I was saved. Amen. 27:20 I had a relapse but since Christmas of 2007, 27:27 the first of 2008 no drugs whatsoever. 27:30 None. So four or five years 27:32 clean you've been experiencing this power of the gospel- 27:35 Each day something drops away from me. 27:37 Each day I get stronger in the walk. 27:39 This year is an outward proclamation 27:42 of my faith in Jesus Christ of what He has being doing 27:45 in my life and He is going to continue 27:47 to do and He can do for you too. 27:49 Amen, amen. Pray, 27:51 and I love that because you said the old man- 27:53 He keeps falling away, I got to kill him everyday. 27:55 Amen. And he keeps going 27:57 by the wayside everyday. 27:58 Somebody in the Bible that shared that Paul said, 27:59 I died daily, amen. Amen. 28:01 Died daily and I love Christ in. 28:03 thank you so very, very much, blessings to you. |
Revised 2014-12-17