Participants: Skip MacCarty, Don Mackintosh
Series Code: HFAL
Program Code: HFAL000105
00:49 Welcome to "Health for a Lifetime"
00:50 I'm your host Don Mackintosh 00:52 Today, we're going to be talking 00:53 about stress and stress-absorbers. 00:55 And if you have stress in your life, you'll want to tune in 00:58 and tell other people about today's program. 01:01 We're joined with Dr. Skip MacCarty 01:03 You've been educating concerning stress for over 20 years. 01:06 You've written a seminar - "Stress Beyond Coping" 01:10 and I think it's been adopted as the actual seminar for the 01:14 Seventh-day Adventist Church, 01:15 and it's available through that "Health Ministries Department" 01:18 or if they call 3ABN. 01:20 So we're going to scratch, I guess, the surface 01:23 of stress-absorbers. 01:25 Give us an overview of stress. 01:28 How do we relate to stress? 01:29 What are some keys to relating with it? 01:31 Okay Don, the model that I operate on is the 01:35 basis of a stress tank. 01:37 It came out of Australia and then I have reconfigured it 01:39 based on my research... 01:40 And you think of your life as this tank into which stress is 01:44 being poured every day; all kinds of stressors 01:46 we are subjected to every day... 01:47 And if stress levels build to the overload point - 01:52 the overflow point, various kinds of harm... 01:55 Or if stress gets too low, because we need some 01:57 stress in our lives, then various kinds of harm - 02:00 illnesses or accident-proneness, etcetera... 02:04 And fortunately, the pressure relief valve on the tank 02:07 that can drain stress to safe levels, 02:11 and there are 7 keys to managing stress. 02:15 There are ways you can close that pressure relief valve 02:18 as well through alcohol and tobacco and so forth. 02:21 Now here are the 7 keys - here they are... 02:23 These 7 keys keep the pressure relief valve opened... 02:26 Prayer, relaxation, exercise, viewpoint, eating healthy - Yes 02:29 They prevent stress from building to the harmful point. 02:34 And what we're talking about today - stress absorbers 02:36 are in the area of viewpoint. 02:38 Okay, so again, we're looking at our point-of-view, 02:40 and how it can help us with getting rid of stress 02:43 or absorbing it - is what you're saying today. That's right 02:46 Okay, so how important then is viewpoint, 02:50 looking at that key again, in managing stress? 02:53 Okay, we have a stress management pyramid 02:56 we've developed, Don, and that stress management 02:59 pyramid has the 7 keys of managing stress in a hierarchal 03:04 configuration starting with the... Least important 03:08 Yeah least important - not that they're not important, 03:12 they are very important and working up to the pyramid 03:15 to the top that's the most important. 03:17 And viewpoint is right up there, right underneath the top. 03:19 Viewpoint is VERY important. 03:20 The bottom 4 are foundational and then you have the 03:24 power elements at the very top. 03:26 Viewpoint - our relationships and the spiritual integration. 03:29 And what is exactly "viewpoint?" 03:32 Viewpoint is one's attitude 03:34 Dr. Hans Selye said that adopting... 03:38 He was the father of stress management research by the way; 03:41 the one who originated stress management research 03:44 back in the 30s, 40s and 50s, 03:47 and he said, "Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative 03:51 stress into a positive stress. " 03:54 So that's how important attitude is... dropping right, 03:58 and that's our viewpoint, the way we view life; 04:01 the belief system for which we filter all the things 04:04 that happen to us in life. 04:05 Barbara Brown, another stress researcher said, 04:08 "Stress is 90% how the mind looks at difficulties in life, 04:12 and relieving stress is 100% how the mind uses its 04:17 resources to resist the effects of stress and learns how to 04:20 deal with stress without distress. " 04:22 So viewpoint is... Most of the stress in we 04:26 experience in life is process of stress - it's not real stress. 04:29 So it's not a real threat but when it gets filtered 04:32 through our belief system, we process things 04:34 as threatening to us or making us fearful or frustrating us. 04:37 So this is sort of like - to use a medical analogy, 04:42 when something comes to us, it's sort of like an allergic 04:45 reaction; if we overreact though our body - it harms itself, 04:50 but if we do have the right reaction in the right dose, 04:53 or whatever, it's good that our eyes water. 04:55 It's just if they're watering all the time, 04:56 we can't keep a viewpoint of what's going on. Exactly 04:59 Our stress mechanism, our stress response, 05:01 was designed by God to help us in emergency situations. 05:04 The problem is - when we create emergencies, 05:06 in our mental processing of things 05:09 that aren't real emergencies at all. 05:10 Now you have a list of heavy duty stress absorbers 05:14 that you have in your seminar... 05:16 Talk to me more about those... 05:18 What are these stress-reducing beliefs? 05:20 What are the heavy-duty ones? 05:22 I call them heavy-duty stress absorbers, Don... 05:24 They are stress-reducing beliefs. 05:27 They are beliefs you have that when you get into difficult 05:30 situations, these buffer, these help you in those situations. 05:34 They can take a negative experience, 05:36 and convert it actually into a positive experience 05:38 when you line them all up... 05:40 And it's like shock absorbers on a car... 05:43 when you're going over a really rough road, 05:45 and you've got really good shock absorbers, 05:47 HEY... bring it on! Yeah, exactly... 05:50 Go down the road! It's kind of fun, in fact... 05:52 Yeah, it is... bump, bump, bump, bump, bump... 05:53 You may feel a little bit of a bump, 05:55 but if you didn't have any shock absorbers, 05:56 yeah - it would be rough! 05:58 Well, stress-reducing beliefs, GOOD stress-reducing beliefs 06:02 are like shock absorbers on your car to your emotional system, 06:06 to your physiological functioning, 06:13 or like a cliff that absorbs the pounding of a turbulent surf... 06:17 that's what they are. 06:19 Okay, good - so what would be one of the first ones 06:22 that would be on your list? 06:24 Well at the top of my list, Don, I've designed them in forms of 06:27 resolutions but they are really beliefs; 06:29 powerful beliefs lie behind them... #1 06:47 That's #1 for me... 06:49 All right #1 for you is this belief in God, the Father 06:53 who loves you and He is going to make it all work out somehow. 06:57 Exactly - it means that there's nothing you can say about 07:00 me, Don, that's going to make me devalue myself 07:04 because my value comes from God Himself. 07:08 Yeah okay, so you're telling me how does this actually work? 07:11 How does it help us with stress, this belief in God. 07:15 In other words, what it says is, in essence... 07:17 That nothing can alter my value in God's heart, 07:22 and nothing can alter your value in God's heart; 07:24 no failure - I can't fail enough to devalue me in the eyes of God 07:31 God placed a value on me... 07:34 When Jesus Christ was giving His life for me, 07:36 that put an infinite value on me, 07:38 where if you reject me, that doesn't devalue me. 07:40 If I go into GREAT financial need, that doesn't... 07:45 Or if I don't have much education, 07:46 I'm in the presence of other people, 07:47 I don't need to be shameful around people 07:50 with great education. 07:51 In the same way, I don't need to feel that way... 07:53 If you failed at something, I don't need to feel 07:55 like you have less value. 07:57 It gives me a sense of value for myself and for other people 08:00 that is absolutely crucial for stress management 08:02 because so much of stress management is this sense 08:04 of feeling INFERIOR or in feeling SUPERIOR to other people 08:08 creating stress in other people. 08:10 So failure, rejection by others, poverty, lack of education, 08:14 anything else in this relationship with God? 08:17 Yes, God is the release point for all of our worries. 08:21 And there is a beautiful text in 1 Peter 5:7 that says... 08:29 So that's where you go, that's where it all ends. 08:31 Absolutely beautiful and where I realized this for the first time 08:34 how powerful this was was when I was backpacking 08:37 with my 3 sons and woke up in the middle of the night 08:41 one night my second son, Andrew, was just screaming 08:45 at the top of his voice and he and his older brother 08:48 were in another tent from my youngest son, Marcus and I... 08:51 And so I shined the light outside our tent 08:55 through the trees to their tent and it was moving a little bit, 08:57 and I raced over to their tent and zipped open the tent, 09:01 and shined my light on Andrew's face, 09:02 and I knew exactly what had had happened... 09:04 He woke up pitch black and just terrified - exactly. 09:09 Then he sat up and his head hit the top of the tent, 09:12 and he was just sitting there - 09:13 the look of abject terror on his face 09:15 as I was shining the light on him... 09:16 Then I realized I wasn't helping matters by shining 09:18 the light on him, so I turned it back on my own face 09:21 so he could see my face and he had stress hormones 09:26 just surging through his little body, 09:28 and when I turned that light back on my face, 09:31 he just instantly melted into peace. 09:34 His face just melted into complete peace. 09:36 He laid down and he simply said 2 words... "Oh daddy" 09:40 and he laid down and went sound to sleep. 09:42 It was all over in 30 seconds, the whole thing in 30 seconds. 09:44 And I realized at that moment, I went back in my bag 09:47 and it was just a chilling experience for me, 09:49 and I realized as I was laying there in my sleeping bag 09:52 ...That's EXACTLY what a relationship with God is. 09:54 He says, "Cast all your care on me" 09:56 And with 7 years of building a relationship with 09:59 my young son, that brought that instant relief to him, 10:03 and when we take our cares and worries, we panic in a 10:05 difficult situation - then remember our Father is here; 10:09 our Spiritual parent is here, 10:11 we can just release our worries to Him, 10:13 and it can bring such peace and calm. 10:14 So picturing His face and casting our cares upon Him. 10:18 Anything else about this MAJOR stress-absorber God 10:22 that you want to mention? 10:24 Well, I think that's the primary point. Okay 10:29 You've mentioned in that regard something about 10:32 a Serenity Prayer - about how you can have the Serenity Prayer 10:37 and how that factors in - talk to us about that. 10:39 That's stress-reducing belief #2, 10:41 and the way I think of these, Don, is... 10:42 If you only had one of these stress-reducing beliefs, 10:44 you have an awesome resource. 10:45 The Serenity Prayer is the next one... 10:47 The Serenity Prayer says... 10:58 So many people are fighting things in their lives 11:01 they cannot change... 11:03 And that is such a powerful resource - 11:05 If we can pray the prayer; it's not a resolve... 11:09 I don't make a resolve to do this... 11:12 You don't think you're working 11:13 your way to heaven by saying this prayer - or something. 11:15 Yeah, it's not like a commitment It's a prayer I'm praying. 11:17 God help me - accept the things I cannot change with serenity. 11:22 It's - I don't grit my teeth and bear them... 11:24 There's a peace about them because I'm releasing 11:26 these things to God - that He can do 11:28 something about that I can't. 11:29 And then trusting Him. 11:31 And then focusing on the things that I have left 11:34 that I can work on. 11:35 It may be very small - what I can work on. 11:38 I had a man, one time, who called me, 11:41 and when I picked up the phone, 11:43 he simply said, "I heard you talking on stress on the radio - 11:46 If I don't get help with my stress, I'm going to die. " 11:50 So we made an appointment, went to lunch. 11:52 The first time, I just basically listened to him, 11:54 and found out what resources he had available. 11:56 The second time we went to lunch, 11:58 we talked about the Serenity Prayer, 11:59 and he told me later, he said - "The Serenity Prayer 12:02 was the key to my mental health - I can see that now. " 12:04 We literally, what we do with that Serenity Prayer, 12:06 we sorted out things that he was SO frustrated about, 12:09 that really, he could do nothing about, 12:11 and we released those things to God; 12:12 just encouraging him to release those to God... 12:15 And we began to focus on the 12:16 things he could do something about where he could be 12:18 fulfilled in investing himself in those things... 12:21 And it just brought such relief 12:22 to him and such a sense of freedom to his life to do that. 12:27 So it helps you to just kind of look at your life, 12:29 put things in perspective to know 12:31 what you CAN do something about, 12:32 what you CAN'T do something about, 12:34 and how to know the difference. 12:36 And it is such an important... 12:37 By the way, it's the same thing with risk factors in 12:39 heart disease or other guests I've had on this program. 12:42 They say, "Hey look, there are certain things you can't do 12:43 anything about, but there are some things you 12:45 CAN DO things about - let's focus on those. Exactly 12:48 What's #2 of your big stress absorber, 12:51 shock absorber, if you will. 12:52 That was #2... #3- Okay, #1 was God 12:55 as our Father, in charge of everything. 12:57 #2- was the Serenity Prayer. What's #3? 12:59 Very simple, "I will choose to live one day at a time. " 13:03 Again, there's a strong belief behind that. 13:05 That living one day at a time is a healthy way to live, 13:08 and that is very powerful, "living one day at a time" 13:11 That actually comes from the Sermon on the Mount, 13:13 from counsel given to us in the Sermon on the Mount - 13:15 which I believe is the greatest stress presentation ever given 13:20 to the human race because the Lord Himself said... 13:28 So Jesus, Himself, invited us not to worry about tomorrow. 13:31 I love the poem that Helen Mallicoat has... 13:35 It's entitled, "I Am" and it goes like this... 13:38 "I was regretting the past and fearing the future. 13:41 Suddenly, my Lord was speaking, "My name is I AM" 13:45 Now that term has great theological significance, 13:48 but I like the practical significance - she gives it here 13:51 "My name is I AM" He paused, I waited, 13:54 He continued... 13:55 When you live in the past with its mistakes and regrets, 13:58 it is hard... 13:59 I am not there. My name is not I was. 14:03 When you live in the future with its problems and fears, 14:06 it is hard... 14:08 I am not there. My name is not I will be. 14:11 When you live in this moment, it is not hard. 14:15 I am here... My name is I AM" 14:18 That's powerful! 14:20 And Don, I could tell you, there are people 14:22 and I class myself among them, 14:25 who, when they get up in the morning, 14:27 they start fretting about things that happened yesterday 14:30 or 2 days ago or a year ago even, 14:33 and they literally exhaust their energies. 14:36 The Lord is saying - when He says, "Don't worry about 14:38 tomorrow, each day has enough trouble of its own," 14:39 what He's saying is: I give you sufficient 14:42 resources today to deal with today's needs. 14:44 Not with yesterday's needs, that's ALL done now, 14:47 put it away, trust me with it, not for tomorrow's needs, 14:50 but for today's needs. 14:51 So when I reach into the past 14:53 and try to scoop it into the present, 14:55 or the future and try to scoop it into the present, 14:57 I'm depleting resources that God has given me to 15:02 help me manage today. 15:03 We're talking with Dr. Skip MacCarty 15:05 We're talking about stress, how it can be absorbed. 15:08 We've talked about 3 keys to do that, really stress-absorbers. 15:13 Join us when we come back. 15:19 Have you found yourself wishing 15:21 that you could shed a few pounds? 15:22 Have you been on a diet for most of your life, 15:25 but not found anything that will really keep the weight off? 15:27 If you've answered "yes" to any of these questions, 15:31 then we have a solution for you that works. 15:34 Dr. Hans Diehl and Dr. Aileen Ludington 15:36 have written a marvelous booklet called... 15:39 "Reversing Obesity Naturally" 15:41 and we'd like to send it to you FREE of charge. 15:44 Here's a medically sound approach successfully used 15:46 by thousands who were able to eat more and lose weight 15:49 permanently without feeling guilty or hungry 15:52 through lifestyle medicine. 15:54 Dr. Diehl and Dr. Ludington have been featured on 3ABN 15:57 and in this booklet, they present a sensible approach 16:00 to eating, nutrition and lifestyle changes 16:03 that can help you prevent heart disease, diabetes, 16:05 and even cancer. 16:07 Call or write today for your free copy of... 16:09 "Reversing Obesity Naturally" 16:11 and you could be on your way to a healthier, happier YOU! 16:14 It's absolutely free of charge, so call or write today. 16:23 Welcome back, we are talking about stress. 16:25 We're talking about how we can relate to it. 16:28 We're talking with Dr. Skip MacCarty 16:30 He has shared with us several different, very helpful, 16:33 what you call heavy-duty stress absorbers, 16:37 and all within the framework of our viewpoint looking at things; 16:40 recognizing #1- correct me if I'm wrong, 16:43 but #1- that God is our spiritual parent... 16:46 We can cast all of our cares upon Him. 16:47 #2- An attitude of prayer. 16:50 The Serenity Prayer is what you shared; 16:52 knowing what is happening to us that we can do something about; 16:57 what we can't do anything about and how to know the difference. 17:00 Or at least - what we can't do anything about, 17:01 to God and let Him work on that. 17:02 Let Him work on that, working on what we can. 17:05 And then #3- Very practical but we often forget it, 17:08 and that is - living one day at a time. 17:12 During the break, you were saying there was something 17:13 else you wished you mentioned. 17:16 The psalmist said, in Psalm 118, 17:18 "This is the day the Lord has made, 17:21 let us rejoice and be glad in it. " 17:23 In other words, if we focus on today, 17:26 there's a glory in every day and if I wake up today, 17:30 and I'm focused on yesterday, I miss the glory of today. 17:32 So the Lord sets us free to concentrate 17:37 on the adventure and the glory of today. 17:38 Some people say, "Look, what you need to do 17:41 is just take more responsibility for your own life" 17:43 Is that a good way to deal with stress? Absolutely 17:45 In fact, that's my stress absorber #4. Okay #4 17:49 #4- I choose to accept personal responsibility 17:54 for my behavior and emotions and will seek to influence 17:56 them through wholesome thinking, beliefs and attitudes. 17:59 There was a therapist by the name of Harold Greenwald 18:02 who was a counselor for 30 years, 18:05 and a lady came to him one time and he was trying to 18:07 find out what her presenting problem was, 18:09 and she said, "Well I'm not really unhappy; 18:11 I don't have a real problem, per se, 18:12 I just would like to be happier. " 18:14 "I'm a happy person, but I'd like to know how to be happier" 18:16 And it said, it hit him like a ton of bricks at that moment, 18:18 that he had become an expert in misery. 18:21 He knew how to help people through misery, 18:23 he did NOT know... he didn't even KNOW 18:25 what made people happy... is what he wrote in his book. 18:29 And then, he went out and suspended his practice, 18:31 went out and researched happy people... 18:33 And then he wrote a book called, "The Happy Person" 18:35 And in that book, he said my most surprising 18:39 discovery was how many... Let me read it exactly here 18:42 It was how many of the people I interviewed for this book 18:46 of a joyous, satisfied people I interviewed for this book 18:48 had undergone traumas, frustrations and defeats 18:51 remarkably similar to my misery-laden patients. 18:54 It wasn't what they had experienced, 18:55 it wasn't the circumstances in their life, 18:57 it was the way they related to it. 18:58 It was their belief system. 18:59 And these people chose to be happy 19:02 in SPITE of what was going on in their lives, 19:05 and that made ALL the difference in the world in their lives. 19:07 I call this the "good weather factor" 19:10 The good weather factor - it comes from Stephen Covey 19:13 He talked about people who create their own good weather 19:16 who take responsibility for their own emotions, 19:18 and behavior, happiness and success, 19:20 and create their own internal good weather, 19:22 and carry it with them wherever they go. 19:24 So you could take the apostles and you could FLOG them, 19:27 put them in prison, put them in stocks, 19:29 and they'll sing hymns in the night. 19:31 Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say Rejoice. 19:33 It doesn't matter - That's right They created good weather 19:35 in that stinking, foul, dungeon; 19:37 pitch black - there was good weather, 19:40 the sun was shining in there, but that was internally created, 19:43 and that's the ability we have. 19:44 We literally have the ability to create internally 19:46 good weather and carry it with us wherever we go. 19:49 So Paul says, "When I have much, when I have little, 19:51 I've learned how to be joyful in all those. " 19:53 He had a good-weather mentality. Exactly 19:55 And it probably built on the other 3 that you talked about; 19:59 praying, having God as your spiritual parent, 20:01 living one day at a time. Yes 20:03 Okay, well anything else about that... 20:07 Are there anymore heavy-duty stress absorbers? 20:10 I kind of like that - 20:12 Yes, the 5th heavy-duty stress absorber on my list is... 20:24 So that's a choice! That's right 20:26 It was Dr. Hans Selye, Don, that made the statement, 20:29 I think in the final analysis, he's the father of 20:32 stress management research... 20:48 So he says, on one end of the spectrum you have 20:49 gratitude and on the other, revenge 20:51 and these are the poles in terms 20:54 of creating success and happiness in life. 20:56 Now, I've created a way to create your own gratitude zone, 21:06 and it also is ways that stress is created... 21:09 And it's this model here that when it comes to goals, 21:13 the higher the goal you set, the greater the eustress. 21:16 Eustress is a positive stress, it's a good stress. 21:19 It's eustress... Yes, the little phrase "eu" is a Greek... 21:23 The prefix used is the Greek prefix - it means "good" 21:26 Good stress! Eulogy, euphoria... 21:30 It means feeling good - speaking well of somebody. 21:33 And then the lower your goals, the greater the distress. 21:37 But conversely, when it comes to expectations, 21:40 expectations are what you expect to GET. 21:42 How you would expect to be rewarded 21:44 for the efforts you put in. 21:46 The higher your expectations, the greater the distress. 21:49 The lower your expectations, the greater the eustress. 21:52 So here's what happens... 21:54 You set low goals - high expectations, 21:58 and what you actually realize, the benefit you realize from 22:01 working toward that goal, whatever your goals are, 22:05 is the baseline and then the difference between that 22:09 and your expectations in the stress zone, 22:10 and we create those stress zones 22:12 by setting high expectations. 22:13 And then, if you have low expectations, conversely, 22:18 you can create your own gratitude zone by 22:21 lowering your expectations to like zero-point, 22:23 and then you have same realization level, 22:25 but the difference between your expectation 22:28 and your realization is your gratitude zone. 22:30 For instance, if I take a class, 22:32 and I think at the end of that class, I'm going to get a 22:35 promotion for having graduated from that class, 22:38 and let's say that I enjoyed the class, 22:40 but I didn't get the promotion. 22:41 Well, then I've created for myself a stress zone... 22:45 the difference between my expectation and realization. 22:48 But let's say that I said, "Okay, I may not get promoted, 22:51 I may not even enjoy the class, 22:52 but it's going to have good information that I want to learn 22:55 So I'm going to take the class, I set a high goal, 22:56 I'm going to take this class. 22:57 Put the discipline in to do my work for it and so forth. 23:00 I end up enjoying it more than I thought I would, 23:02 The difference between that lower expectation that I set of 23:06 "I don't know if I'm going to enjoy it or not even" 23:08 and you don't have the expectation 23:10 you're going to get a job promotion for taking that class. 23:12 The difference between that lower expectation, 23:14 and the realization of enjoying the class is a gratitude zone. 23:18 You're GRATEFUL that you enjoyed the class as much as you did. 23:22 Same enjoyment level but the difference between creating 23:24 pertinent stress zone when you had higher expectations 23:26 for the class, than lower expectations 23:30 that have been created in a gratitude zone. 23:32 So this could be helpful not only for yourself, 23:33 but the way you relate to other people in your life. 23:35 If you had set a real high expectation for someone else, 23:38 you could be setting them up for MAJOR stress along with them 23:43 That's right - setting yourself up for disappointment 23:45 with them as well... Exactly right. 23:47 I remember that a lot as a pastor... 23:49 with a goal in the church or 23:51 this or that or whatever, you know, it's very important. 23:54 I had, when my stress program was first published, 24:01 in January 1999, down in San Diego, 24:05 it was introduced to a conference of health educators 24:08 there at a church ministries convention 24:14 down in San Diego, January 1999, 24:16 and we had a roomful of 25-30 health educators, 24:20 physicians and Dr. Handysides was there from the G.C., 24:24 Stoy Proctor from the G.C., DeWitt Williams from the N.A.D., 24:28 and some people from Loma Linda, etcetera, 24:30 were there and health educators from around the country. 24:34 And so when I went through the program, 24:37 the first day - it's a 12-hour stress seminar, 24:41 and I was giving 4 hours each afternoon. 24:43 In the morning, they had experts in the field of stress 24:46 coming in - I mean, real experts; 24:47 people I'm quoting from and so forth... 24:49 They're coming in the morning making presentations, 24:51 and then I get 4 hours in the afternoon. 24:55 So your expectations kind of went down there... 24:57 Well, you know the first afternoon is a long day, 25:02 starting at 8:00 in the morning, going until 5:00 at night... 25:04 and in the afternoon, they break for lunch at noon, 25:06 but, of course, speakers go a little longer, 25:08 so they broke at 12:30; they were supposed to 25:10 come back at 1:00, by 1:30, they were starting 25:11 to trickle in - a few of them. 25:13 So by 2 o'clock, we'd get going and I have 3 hours to do 25:16 2 presentations in 4 hours... 25:20 So at the end of the day, Dr. Williams calls me, 25:23 and says, "Skip, we've got a problem" 25:24 "Some people are saying, "You know it's not like we haven't 25:27 heard this stuff before and we're down here in San Diego, 25:30 ...Give us a break, let us go out and have some fun! 25:33 And we got the beach, we've got the San Diego Zoo 25:35 down here and we've got Sea World down here" 25:38 Just what you wanted to hear! Yeah, exactly 25:41 He said, "I'm trying to wonder what we should do with this, 25:43 so we've got this problem. " 25:45 So my wife is sitting, she's listening to this, 25:47 and I said... because she's with me for the week, 25:50 and I said, "You know, Dr. Williams, that will be 25:51 the easiest decision you have to make this week" 25:53 "Oh really? What are you thinking?" 25:54 "I'm thinking - you make the afternoon optional. " 25:57 "You make my seminar optional. " 25:59 Even though they're there to get introduced to the seminar, 26:02 and to get the certificate for stress management, 26:04 but these guys do know a lot of stuff, 26:06 there's no question about it. 26:09 So he said, "Are you sure... 26:10 there may only be half the people there" 26:12 I said, "No problem, I'll do it for half the people. " 26:14 "Well, there may be like 10 people there. " 26:17 "No problem, I'll do it for 10 people. " 26:18 "And there could be less. " 26:20 "I'll do it for less - not a problem. " 26:22 Now, I hang up the phone... 26:23 So he says, "Okay, well let's try it. " 26:24 He said, "You're sure you're okay with that?" 26:26 "Yeah, I'm okay with that. " 26:27 So we hang up the phone and my wife is not feeling 26:29 real good about this - she works on commission. 26:32 She gave up a whole week and she said, 26:33 "You mean to tell me, I gave up a whole week 26:35 of commissions and now there may be 26:37 less than 10 people there. " 26:38 And so I'm feeling a little bit the same way, 26:40 but I said, "You know what we're doing to ourselves?" 26:42 "We're literally creating this expectation... 26:44 Here's these health professional doctors and professionals 26:48 in the field and they're sitting on the edge of their chair 26:50 right after lunch - they don't want to miss anything" 26:52 So maybe they say, "It's only 12:30, 26:54 we don't have time to go eat lunch - we're going to wait 26:56 because we don't want to miss a word of this. " 26:58 So I said, "We're creating our own problem. " 27:00 False expectations! HIGH expectations. 27:02 I said, "What would be lowering our expectations to zero point?" 27:05 We came to the conclusion, talking this through 27:07 that would be 3 people; she's one, I'm the other, 27:10 and we only need one more. 27:11 So we'd be happy with one more person... 27:14 So the next day, the same thing happened, 27:15 and at 1:30 they started to trickle in. 27:18 We thought if there were 5 people there, 27:20 we would be elated because that would be 27:21 almost double what we expected. 27:24 As it was, that ENTIRE week, there were only like 3 people, 27:29 out of that entire group, that missed 27:30 one of those afternoon sessions, 27:32 even though it was optional from that point on. 27:34 So, of course, our gratitude was SKY-HIGH, 27:37 but that's exactly how it works, Don... 27:38 It is SO powerful and it works that way to create gratitude. 27:42 Gratitude is SO important for stress management. 27:45 We've been talking with Dr. Skip MacCarty 27:47 We've learned that there are stress absorbers 27:50 that we should know about and we can put into practice. 27:53 If you would like more information about these, 27:55 you can get a hold of Dr. MacCarty's seminar. 27:57 Thanks for joining us for "Health for a Lifetime" |
Revised 2014-12-17