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Series Code: IAADD
Program Code: IAADD000019A
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00:27 Welcome to Issues and Answers. Today our topic is the Widow's 00:32 Son of Niles. Did you know that according to the population 00:36 reference bureau in the United States the number of children 00:40 in single-mother families has risen drastically over the past 00:44 four decades causing considerable concern among 00:47 policy makers and the public. The effects of growing up in 00:50 single-parent households has been shown to go beyond 00:53 economics increasing the risks of children dropping out of 00:57 school, disconnecting from the labor force and becoming teen 01:01 parents themselves. Although many children growing up in 01:04 single-parent families succeed others will face significant 01:08 challenges in making the transition to adulthood. 01:11 Children in lower income, single-parent families face 01:14 the most significant barriers to success in school and the work 01:20 force. Today to talk about this issue is Mr. Greg Baker. He is a 01:25 graduate of Andrews Academy as well as Indiana University with 01:31 a degree in accounting and he himself will share this 01:34 incredible story of the Widow's Son of Niles. Welcome to the 01:40 program Greg. Thank you so much. It's a real pleasure to have you 01:46 here, especially as my academy classmate from Andrews Academy. 01:52 That's right. So where would you like to begin 01:58 child in Niles. My mother was a widow because I lost my father 02:08 when I was 11 years old. Sorry to hear that. 02:11 Thank you. Yeah, I spent a lot of years as a child without a 02:18 father. But we made it. 02:20 What was your father like? Do you remember your dad? 02:23 Yeah. My dad was a hard worker, a very hard worker, and I guess 02:29 that's kind of where I got my drive for working from. But my 02:34 as I knew him always held down two jobs. He worked at the 02:40 factory downtown and he worked as a yard man and that kind of 02:46 work for a doctor down in Niles as well. 02:49 Wow. In addition to that you guys had a farm. 02:54 We had a farm. How many acres? 02:55 Oh boy, well the biggest part of the farm actually was about 03:01 seven acres, which is where our horses were kept and that's 03:06 where I live today. Wow! Yes that's where I live today. 03:11 Wow. So your dad passed away when you were 11 years old. 03:16 When I was 11. And did you have brothers or 03:18 sisters? I did, I had brothers and 03:21 sisters. And I was the youngest of all five children. There were 03:26 three boys and two girls. My next older brother was 14 when 03:33 Dad died and we had to take care of all of the responsibilities 03:40 of the house. So did your mother work outside 03:42 the home at that time? 03:44 She did. She was a school teacher. Oh okay. So she had 03:49 other responsibilities outside the house. 03:52 Okay. So the household immediately lost that income. 03:57 Yes it did, yes it did. 03:59 How did that feel? 04:00 Well you know being 11 years old I don't know a whole lot about 04:04 what goes on with the finance in the house, but I know that it 04:08 was tough. It was very... 04:10 What was it like? 04:11 Oh, well, we didn't have the things that we actually wanted, 04:18 and sometimes didn't have the things that we needed but we 04:25 were able to make ends meet. 04:27 Did you always have the clothes that you needed for school at 04:31 that time? Immediately after your dad passed away did you 04:35 have...? Yeah, well it's interesting 04:39 because when the economics of that time fell it did affect me 04:45 personally with having the clothes that I needed, the food 04:51 that was in the house. Child care was a big issue in our home 04:57 and I often times fell to the responsibility of my sister who 05:02 was there to take care of me and get me going in the morning 05:07 because Mom had to work and Mother had school to teach. 05:12 Right. So your sisters were the ones that got you ready for 05:17 school and sent you off to school and you're the baby 05:20 in the family. I'm the youngest, yes, yes. 05:22 So what's the age difference between, you know the number of 05:26 years between your sisters and yourself? 05:29 Oh boy. Were they like much older 05:31 than you? Yeah, they took the place of my 05:36 mother in care. So I don't really remember how many years 05:44 it was but I know that the responsibilities for me getting 05:51 up in the morning, getting my bath, getting out of the house 05:57 and going down to catch the bus was sister's responsibility 06:03 because Mother was teaching school. 06:06 So eventually your sisters, they got married because they were 06:10 older than you, right, and they moved outside of the house. 06:14 Yes they moved downtown or into another town and as a married 06:18 person they started their families there. 06:21 So how did that leave you then, with your sisters gone? 06:25 How old were you about that time? 06:27 Uhmm, like I said my father died when I was 11 so that very well 06:34 could have been another seven to eight years later on, so I could 06:43 have been 17 of having basically no guidance, no care, nothing 06:51 to do for my family which would have been my mother and I. 06:59 You were on your own? 07:01 I was on my own. Completely on your own. I was completely on 07:04 my own. Kind of raising yourself at that 07:05 point at 17 year old. So I'm just kind of reflect on some of 07:11 the things that I remember about you and that was you had a car. 07:16 Nobody had a car. How did that happen? 07:20 I had a gold Gremlin. You remember those cars. 07:26 I'd date myself so let's not say that. (laughs) 07:31 Yeah I had a car because living out in the country you know with 07:36 the farm there, if you didn't have a car you didn't go 07:39 anywhere at all, so you had to have a car and that's how you 07:44 had to get around was you own transportation. 07:52 Right. So you are now out of Niles and you're going to 07:56 Andrews Academy which was, what, about 30 minutes away? 08:00 About 25- 30 minutes. And during the snow... 08:03 It's cold and it's very dangerous and it's very hard to 08:08 get around. So how did your family get the 08:11 car? How did you get the car? Did you work to get the car? 08:16 I did. I worked summers with the neighbor who had a farm and I 08:21 baled hay all summer long. 08:24 You paid for your own car? 08:26 I pretty much paid for my own car. Yes, yes. Hay baling is 08:31 very hard work. 08:33 Really? What's involved for those who are not familiar with 08:35 the farm life? Oh, what does it involve? 08:38 You have to get the hay off the baler and you had to put it on 08:42 the wagon and stack that up and then you have to take the wagon 08:48 and take it to the barn and put the hay in the barn. So there 08:53 was a helper that was working there too who drove the tractor. 08:57 I pulled the hay off the baler and stacked it up and he drove 09:02 the tractor so he had the easier job. 09:05 Now I understand in Niles, Michigan it's kind of like the 09:08 end of the underground railroad in some ways and there are a lot 09:12 black or African-American farmers that had land over the 09:16 years. How did your dad come to get that land, the seven acres? 09:20 He worked for it. He worked for it? He worked for it and he was 09:24 working, as I said he worked in the factory downtown, so he and 09:28 my mom saved their money and they bought the land and he 09:34 built the 250-foot barn there and raised horses there and that 09:41 was a lot of work. 09:42 So when your dad passed away did you keep all of that, did you 09:45 keep the farm, did you keep the land, did you keep the horses? 09:50 Yeah we did. We kept all of those things because those were 09:56 the things that I had to do was to take care of the farm and 10:01 take care of the horses and get them down the road, because see 10:06 we also had to sell the horses later on because we were the 10:12 only ones there. So we actually had to sell the horses but that 10:17 was later on, that was actually after my sisters got out and 10:21 and they got married, so that could have been six or seven 10:25 years later on. So you grew up with the horses. 10:28 What kinds of things did you raise on the farm? Did you grow 10:33 anything? Yeah, we had a very big farm. 10:37 Several kind of crops, right. A truck farm. 10:42 What's a truck farm? 10:44 A truck farm is when you get all the things out of the garden 10:48 that you have harvested and you get them on the truck and you 10:52 take them down to the corner and then you sell them there. 10:56 So who was doing all that work? 10:58 That was me. You? That was me. 10:59 What about your brothers? Were they around or had they left? 11:02 No my brothers weren't around then. It was pretty much me and 11:06 whoever else I could get to help me. 11:11 How did you manage doing all that and go to school. Did you 11:16 have to drop out at some point? 11:17 No I never had to drop out but it was a long day, it was a long 11:23 day's work. What time did you day start? 11:25 Oh, somewhere early, about 6:00 o'clock in the morning. And then 11:30 I'd have to do all the chores of the day of the farm and the 11:34 garden and then go to school and then after school I'd come back 11:39 and I would work it some more, another two or three hours, till 11:43 dark. How'd you study for school? 11:47 Well I had to fit that in somewhere and I probably should 11:49 have done a whole lot better than I did but... 11:52 Seriously Gregg, okay you had to get up in the morning and run 11:56 a farm by yourself as a teenager I think you did pretty well. 12:00 It was God's grace that got me through. 12:06 Amen, amen. We didn't know that. We just say you coming with your 12:14 car to school. Ah Gregg is hot stuff. And you played a mean 12:18 game of basketball. How did you perfect your basketball game 12:22 running a whole farm as a teenager? 12:24 Well practice, practice, practice. 12:26 Your mom didn't do anything with the farm? 12:29 No. She didn't. So it was your dad who was the 12:31 outdoor guy. Yes. And your mom was the school teacher. So it 12:36 really all fell on you. 12:38 Yeah, it all fell on me, and my brother as much as he could help 12:42 and other people who would be a part of our lives that would 12:47 help as well from time to time. 12:49 So you had to plan. Did you have to plan which crops you were 12:54 going to sow and all that? 12:55 Oh yeah. We decided early in the season what to plant and... 13:00 Did you work with a farm agent or anything like that or...? 13:04 No, it was pretty much whatever we knew. Whatever we knew is 13:09 what we depended on to get the farm going. 13:13 Oh Boy. We raised corn and I mention corn first because I 13:19 really love corn. Really? That Michigan sweet corn 13:24 Yes, yes it is. Corn is good. 13:26 How did you plant it? Did you have machines or were you out 13:30 there just individually planting the corn? 13:31 One seed at a time. You know the Bible speaks of a story about 13:38 a woman, her son and Jesus in Luke chapter 7. 13:43 Luke chapter 7, what verse? 13:46 verse 11. 13:56 Okay... 14:35 So what I'm trying to help you understand is that story reminds 14:41 me of me. I wasn't dead but I was still a player in this story 14:47 Right, how does it remind you of your life, this particular 14:53 story. What do you think would be helpful for other young men 14:58 who are being raised by their mothers? 15:02 Well yeah, the best thing that I can tell you is that it reminds 15:06 me because this story really was about a mother and her son 15:10 like in my story with you is really about my mother and me. 15:15 And there are a lot of people who have single-parent 15:24 households. And there are a lot of people that are being raised 15:28 by their mother and often times these are young men who are 15:32 raised by their mother just as I was. So that's how this story 15:37 kind of reminds me of me. So what I wanted to help 15:43 you understand is that there are single parents out there who are 15:49 raising their young sons and there are sons out there who 15:53 are being raised by their single parents. 15:55 How was it for you once you hit your teen years? What was it 15:59 like not having your dad and your mom. What kind of 16:03 relationship did you guys have? 16:04 Well my mom, obviously she had all the responsibilities of a 16:10 large family of which I was just one member of it at this time 16:15 because the other sisters and brothers had kind of moved on. 16:21 So I was young and that was the responsibility that my mother 16:27 accepted and she took it very well. But let me read you the 16:32 rest of the story. Okay. 16:45 What does that mean to you, this last part of the story. 16:50 Well that God is in this story still even though it doesn't 16:55 reference him earlier on, its just is only the two sentences. 17:00 Right. The young man and I say to you 17:02 and do not weep. But God is still in the story just like God 17:08 is still in our lives, our young people's lives. We are still 17:16 in God's will. And that's what it spoke to me that God is still 17:23 in the story. So a young person, a young man, 17:26 that's being raised by a single mother, your saying that they're 17:30 still in the will of God, yes. They still are in the will of 17:33 God, Yeah. 17:34 Someone may have told them that they're an accident but they're 17:37 still with the will of God. 17:38 They're still in the will of God 17:40 It's really what God depends for us is what's important. 17:44 What do you mean by that, what God depends for us? 17:48 Well when we live our lives we think that it's only by chance. 17:56 But it's not. It's what God wants for us is what God is 18:03 to be praised for. 18:05 Amen. So you took your responsibilities on in your life 18:11 as God's will. Yes. Did you have any other men in your life 18:17 coming along that helped you along the way? 18:18 Well you know I still had my brothers were still in my life. 18:23 But they weren't really a part of my everyday life because 18:27 they were kind of moved on. So I also had my sisters, you know, 18:34 who had married. Right, your brothers-in-law. 18:36 My brothers-in-law, they were a part of my life. 18:37 Did they teach you anything? 18:39 Yes they did. They taught me a lot. 18:40 What did they teach you? 18:41 They taught me a lot of things of responsibility. 18:45 Like what? Did they teach you how to work a budget. Of course 18:49 you kind of knew that already working the farm. 18:51 Yeah, I was taught that really in class. 18:54 Oh, so you learned that from school? 18:57 I learned that from school, yeah. But they taught me 19:03 of taking care of my mother and taking care of our home and our 19:07 family. Wow. That's pretty amazing. 19:10 How about at church? Were there men at church that took you like 19:13 over the weekends? Did you spend weekends with other people, 19:16 other men who mentored you? 19:18 No that was a program that really was outside of our church 19:24 and happened in other kids' lives but not in mine, no. 19:32 So you really didn't have all of that. You didn't have a whole 19:34 lot of nurturing. What about teachers at school? 19:37 Yeah, there were teachers that were in my life a little bit, 19:42 but not necessarily every day, no. 19:45 So you learned to play basketball. Were you able to use 19:49 basketball to kind of help you cope with some of these 19:53 pressures that you had responsibilities. 19:55 Yeah, sports played a very important part of my life 19:58 because... You know, I'm not trying to brag but I was pretty 20:03 good. Yeah. I learned a lot of lessons from those sports. 20:08 Because a sport really is a team of, in my case, basketball, a 20:15 team of young men who got together and all with one common 20:21 goal. And as a family you have to have a common goal. So sports 20:26 did help me there, yeah. 20:27 How much time did you dedicate to playing basketball? 20:30 Well according to my mother it was too much time because she 20:36 would say to me you bounce that ball too much. And in my own 20:42 life I would think, yeah, that I did probably bounce the ball too 20:46 much. So I only learned those lessons later on in life that 20:52 what I should have done I didn't do but what I did do was a lot 20:58 of times what I shouldn't have done. 21:00 So how did you go on to go to college? You know a lot of young 21:03 men, according to the statistics that we mentioned earlier in the 21:07 program, they're at risk, significantly at risk, to drop 21:12 out of high school. You didn't drop out of high school. 21:17 No, I didn't and I credit a lot to the government for creating 21:24 programs for me because when you are in a single-parent house you 21:31 get assistance from the government up until a certain 21:36 age to be able to handle those responsibilities of a father 21:41 being gone or a parent being gone. 21:42 Are you saying meaning the finances, was that financial 21:45 help? Yeah, right. But were there like after-school programs 21:48 or any other programs that you participated in? 21:50 No those after-school program were done either by me... 21:54 You were your own after- school program. 21:58 My own after-school program. By me or me and my sister. 22:02 Often times my sister, I remember, cried at the window 22:06 of our house when I would go off to school, getting on the bus, 22:11 because she had the responsibility of being the 22:15 mother of the little boy that she really didn't raise. 22:24 But she had to. Had to, yeah. Had to see you off to school. 22:26 Yes, had to see me off to school. 22:28 I'm going to ask you now, we're going to transition just a 22:31 little bit and the latter part of that scripture where you said 22:36 you liked the part where God has visited his people. Yes. Having 22:41 had your upbringing and pretty much raising yourself, how did 22:46 God visit your life after that experience? 22:49 As I became an adult God really had to become a part of my life. 22:54 I mean, he didn't have to but I had to allow him to be a part 22:58 of my life because I couldn't get through life without him. 23:03 I could not get to where I am today without him. 23:10 Wow. So you went to college, Indiana University and a special 23:17 person came into your life. 23:20 Yes she did. Who was that? 23:23 Well in 1983 I had the pleasure of marrying Diane. Yes, and 23:30 Diane became big part of my life 23:34 Wow. How long have you guys been married now? 23:37 We have been married, ah that's 32 years. 23:40 Thirty-two years. So all the lessons that you learned growing 23:44 up, about responsibility, all that advice that had been given 23:48 to you by other men, you've now been able to put into a 23:52 successful life yourself, 25 years doing accounting. 23:56 And you have two children. What are they doing? 23:59 My two children are a joy to my life. I have a daughter who 24:06 is studying to be a doctor and a son who is a film and video 24:12 editor. Well that's cool. That's very 24:15 cool. I understand, according to your wife's report that you 24:20 carried on the skills that you learned as a young man into 24:24 building your house. 24:26 I did. I often times tell people that I have the talent and 24:34 skill that I had 24:35 because of my father teaching me how to build and I actually 24:39 ended up building our house completely. 24:42 Really? From the ground up? 24:43 From the ground up. 24:45 Ah, how did you do that? 24:46 Your wife says that you read out of a manual. 24:50 I read a book and built a house. 24:55 How big was the house? 24:57 Five bedrooms. That's a big house. 24:58 Yes it is. It's a very large home, a very large home. 25:01 So it sounds like God really visited you. 25:04 Yes, he did, yes he did. 25:06 In a major way and gave you incredible, incredible talents 25:10 and skills. He took all those experiences that you had from 25:15 your life and then just blessed you to be able to build a house 25:19 for your entire family and others, five bedrooms. 25:22 Well I realize that if God was not a part of my life I would 25:27 not be here today. So yes God did visit his people and me in 25:33 particular. So I guess now at this stage in 25:35 your life coming down the way you're looking forward to grand 25:40 children. Not yet. Not yet but at some point. 25:43 At some point in time. You're going to be a grand pappy. 25:46 Yeah, I might be one day eventually but right now my 25:49 kids, I say my kids, but they're 20-some years old, and they're 25:57 not kids anymore. They are going to have children one day and 26:04 I'll be a grandfather and hopefully I'll be able to pass 26:08 along to them what it is that they need to get through life 26:12 like somebody did for me. 26:14 Praise God! And for the young men who are watching right now 26:18 what could you speak into their life? What could you say for 26:22 them? Hold onto God's hand. That's the 26:27 best advice I can give them is to hold onto God's hand because 26:34 he is the only answer to these issues and problems. As life 26:40 gets more and more and more difficult, it's only God's hand 26:46 that will get us through. 26:48 That will get us through. Yes. Would you offer prayer please 26:50 to close out our program, Gregg. I will do that, thank you. 26:54 Our Father in heaven, we thank you so much for the blessings 26:57 that you have given us. Lord we thank you for giving us the 27:02 opportunities that you have provided for us and Lord we 27:06 know that it is only because of your leading and guiding in our 27:10 lives that we are able to get through day by day. Lord, we 27:14 thank you for what you have done for us and we pray that as 27:18 we take each step that you will be with us, in front of us, 27:23 behind us and beside us, helping us and leading us and telling us 27:29 which ways to go. Lord we pray that your blessing will be upon 27:36 us and help us Lord each and every day. In Jesus' name I pray 27:43 Amen. Amen, amen. Thank you so much 27:45 for coming to the program Gregg and for sharing your story. We 27:49 really appreciate it. We certainly hope that today's 27:52 program offers hope that there is a God who sees us, who's in 27:57 the midst and is able to resurrect what is dead into life 28:02 in your life. Never forget that. Hold on. Don't let go. God will 28:07 carry your through. God bless. Have a great day. |
Revised 2016-03-30