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Series Code: IAADD
Program Code: IAADD000020A
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00:27 Welcome to Issues and Answers. Today our topic is Love Drops. 00:32 So if you're interested in learning more about love, how 00:36 to build love, how to grow in love, come on and join us today. 00:40 Our guest today Pastor Steven Caza. He is a graduate from 00:45 Weimar College in California. He's pastored in Kentucky, the 00:50 Cayman Islands, Utah and Tennessee. His current churches 00:54 are the Raleigh and Covington churches near Memphis, Tennessee 00:58 He likes to be involved in public evangelism, giving Bible 01:01 studies and training members to do outreach. His lovely wife is 01:05 Leslie. He has been married to her for 31 years and they have 01:09 three grown children, Shannon, Emily and Isaac. His favorite 01:13 hobbies when he's not preaching and doing all those other 01:16 wonderful things is planting orchards and maintaining them, 01:21 berry patches, gardening, jogging and biking. Welcome to 01:25 the program Pastor Caza. Glad you could spare the time from 01:29 all your wonderful hobbies to talk to us about Love Drops. 01:33 I just love that title. I like to say it, Love Drops. (laughs) 01:38 I know you do. Great to be here. Thank you for having me. 01:41 Oh, you're so welcome. So where do we start? 01:42 Well, we'll go back to Genesis chapter 26 and Isaac and Rebekah 01:48 were living in a famine and they realized they couldn't live 01:52 there anymore so they decided to move. And they went down to 01:56 Gerar. King Abimelech was a Philistine king of that area. 02:00 While they were there God came to Isaac and gave him a blessing 02:03 again, I'll make your descendants as the stars of 02:06 heaven. And then with them being the new people on the block 02:09 what happens when somebody new moves in what do the neighbors 02:13 like to do? They like to come over and check 02:14 them out. Check them out! Well they were 02:16 checking his tents, his herds, his carts. Then there was 02:19 something really interesting. They started checking out his 02:25 wife. So they asked him who is this woman? Well she's my sister 02:31 Was that really the case? 02:33 No that was not the case. It started here in verse 7 of 02:36 chapter 26... 02:53 So she was a real good looker. 02:54 Those were extra friendly neighbors. 02:57 I know, they were bold, I agree with that. And it says here 03:02 and it came to pass when they had been there a long time. So 03:07 this deception had been going on for quite a while hiding who 03:11 they were. And it picks up here... 03:22 So he looked out. He saw something. Yeah, and sporting 03:28 Well, New American Standard says caressing, New Revised Standard 03:34 says fondling, New King James says showing endearment, 03:37 Contemporary _ version says hugging and kissing. I say they 03:41 were flirting and teasing. They were having a ball, they were 03:45 having fun. Abimelech didn't have a modern English Bible to 03:49 think about what it was, but he didn't need it. He looked at 03:54 what was going on. He realized that is not brother and sister 03:58 stuff. Not at all. 04:00 Not at all. Now here's the point Isaac had blown it. Somehow they 04:06 had made up and they were having fun together. They were 04:10 enjoying each other's company, touching, talking, laughing. He 04:15 could see their eyes, he could see their actions that they were 04:20 married. It was obvious that they were married and I'd like 04:24 to say today, I'd like to be obvious in our marriages with 04:28 husbands and wives that we are married, that we are a couple, 04:32 that there's a warmth between us. We care for each other. It's 04:37 in our eyes. Song of Solomon says doves eyes. The look of 04:42 gentleness. Doves are gentle birds. My beloved has doves' 04:46 eyes. You can see that there's a chemistry there, there's 04:50 electricity there, a warmth and they like each other. They like 04:56 each other. A couple who shares hobbies, plays together, have 05:01 common interests, talking, sharing, planning together, 05:06 building good solid marriages. We need to come to the 05:11 understanding that marriage is a covenant of companionship. It's 05:16 a covenant of companionship. We find that in Malachi chapter 2 05:22 verse 14... 05:31 The Lord is saying this lady's been with you a long time, from 05:35 your youth. Are you going to put her out to pasture? Or this man 05:38 has been with you a long time. I mean significantly has 05:41 invested their life in you; from your youth you've been together. 05:48 Then he continues on here... 05:59 Your lifelong partner, soul mate, friend. 06:03 How beautiful. So God is telling him she's been 06:04 with you a long time. What you're doing by putting her away 06:08 is treachery and why, she's your companion, she's been with you. 06:13 She hung in thick and thin. You know she loves you. And here it 06:18 says as it continues on, she's your companion and your wife 06:23 by covenant. What does that covenant mean? 06:27 You've got me very good. An agreement between two parties 06:31 for mutual benefit here. So they have made a covenant. 06:35 They made a covenant, the husband and wife. It was by 06:38 covenant they both agreed on their own free will. Nobody put 06:41 a gun to their head and said you have to marry this person. They 06:45 agreed to blend their lives, the two become one. Now when I do 06:49 weddings, there's something at the end of the wedding 06:52 everybody's waiting for. You have that prayer, they get up, 06:57 the veil goes up and the minister says you may... 07:01 Salute the bride or kiss your bride. 07:04 Kiss the bride! and everybody's smiling. Do you know where that 07:08 came from. No. It actually came from ancient Rome where they 07:12 sealed agreements with a kiss and it came into the marriage 07:16 ceremony. So not only does a couple seal the commitment to 07:20 covenant with the I do. Actually ancient custom is the 07:24 kiss too, that they have covenanted to stay together, 07:28 to love one another, to stick together. So that's where that 07:33 came in from. Who knew that? Excuse me. 07:39 Who knew that coming all the way from Rome or Roman custom. 07:42 It's just the custom. That was kept going thousands 07:43 of years later. Thousands of years. There must be something 07:47 to that. Well, that kiss is sealing my 07:52 I do, that I am committed to you and I'm going to stay with you 07:56 and love you and bless you. And it's both, it's mutual. 08:00 It should always be mutual. And this commitment to marriage was 08:05 an issue in Jesus' day. And the Pharisees came to him and in 08:10 Matthew chapter 19, verses 3-6. 09:03 As I thought about this, the no man put asunder, that word for 09:08 man is Anthropos, mankind. So Jesus was saying no one, male or 09:13 female, relative, friend, nobody has a right to get into and 09:19 split your marriage. God's plan was for us to work it out, to 09:25 stick, cleave is to stick together because sometimes you 09:29 just have to stick together. There just are problems, there 09:33 are struggles. It's a part of every marriage. All our lives 09:37 we're going to have problems. Isaac and Rebekah as we started 09:40 off. He denied his wife. She is my sister. How do you think she 09:46 felt? Really bad, but somehow in that story they had to have 09:51 made up because they were sporting. So Isaac must have 09:54 gone to her and said, Look, I blew it. I was afraid. He just 09:58 owned up to it, told he was sorry, asked her for forgiveness 10:02 She took a big deep breath. She was waiting for that and now 10:08 they can work it out and get back together. So God's plan is 10:14 for the two to become one and to become one flesh. It takes a 10:18 lot of work, but it's well worth it, very well worth it. We need 10:22 to ask ourselves are our marriages strong, are they 10:27 strong. How to get them strong and are they strong? Well 10:34 there's a book called Love is a Lubricant. The story is told of 10:39 a workman who boarded the bus, was going to work, and every 10:43 time the door opened it squeaked So what he did is he just got up 10:48 took out his little oil can, went over to the offending spot 10:53 put a couple drops on, put it back in, went back to his seat 10:57 and made the comment, I always keep an oil can for there is 11:02 always something that a few drops of oil can quiet. A few 11:07 drops of oil. That's where we get the title Love Drops because 11:10 love is the oil that brings harmony into our homes, 11:14 can quiet the fuming. So it's love drops. It's love that is 11:19 what does that. I want to share a few scriptures here to help 11:25 us to have those love drops in our marriages. Let's take a look 11:31 here, Proverbs chapter 31 and verse 26. And this is talking to 11:36 the wife. It is well for a couple to just go into the Bible 11:41 and just read these verses and get a tune up, really even a 11:47 perk, a perk up. See that God is interested in their homes. 11:50 He's interested in them, he interested in their well-being. 11:55 God wants us to be successful. He's pulling for us. God's our 11:59 biggest cheer leader. He wants us to have the abundant life. 12:04 But there are keys to the abundant life, those laws of 12:07 life that he's given us in the scriptures that if we follow 12:10 will bring freedom, it'll bring joy, it'll bring happiness. 12:14 God's primary goal for us is to be happy; that's what he wants. 12:18 He wants us to be happy. In Proverbs 31 verse 26, speaking 12:23 to the wife the verse says... 12:32 So when a wife opens her mouth she's speaking with wisdom... 12:37 Where is she getting that wisdom from? The word of God. 12:44 Life experience, skill. Hopefully we learn from our 12:50 mistakes. We're not doing that again. Wisdom... We learn as we 12:54 age and as we grow, as God works with us, as we're polishing. 12:58 When we get married we're not finished products. We're just 13:02 two people trying to mesh our lives with our own baggage and 13:06 hopefully as we're married things are being laid off, 13:11 you know, dropped off and we're maturing, and we're figuring 13:15 things out. Couples who stay together even in the hard times 13:20 eventually will figure things out and I will testify to that, 13:24 31 years. My marriage is as sweet now as ever, better I 13:29 should say because I have learned things on what makes my 13:32 wife happy. And she has learned things that make me happy. 13:36 So we have a good marriage. We don't have a perfect marriage 13:39 but we strive for a good marriage. Does that make sense? 13:43 Sure. To have a good marriage. And you can. There is no 13:48 marriage so far gone that God can't heal. I know that God can 13:52 heal even the worst situations He can help the couple to start 13:56 dialoguing, working things out step by step. It may take some 14:00 time but if he can reclaim a human person who's unconverted 14:04 he can reclaim a marriage. He can reclaim demoniacs and 14:08 prostitutes and drug addicts. He can reclaim marriages. So there 14:11 is hope for our marriages. There's hope if the commitment 14:15 is both. So she openeth her mouth with wisdom and in her 14:18 tongue is the law of kindness. It's just a way of life, 14:22 speaking kindness. I think kindness goes a long way in a 14:27 home, speaking kindly, good manners, having a gentleness. 14:31 So telling the wife when you speak try to be wise in what 14:36 you say and in your tongue have the law of kindness. Proverbs 14:42 chapter 31 verses 10-12 says to the woman. Who can find a 14:48 virtuous woman? Well that's a good question. 14:53 You stopped right there. 14:54 Well look who asked the question No today as I was looking at 14:59 this and I've been thinking about this, who can find a 15:02 virtuous woman? There are a lot of virtuous women out there. 15:06 There are a lot of good men. Are you willing to wait and find 15:11 one? You know, I want to back up. There are women who maybe 15:14 when they were younger did things they shouldn't have done, 15:18 made foolish mistakes, youthful lust, but when they give their 15:23 hearts to Jesus they become virtuous women. The woman at the 15:27 well; five husbands and one live-in. She left that day, she 15:31 left converted and she was a different person. The lady 15:34 in adultery that they brought to Jesus. He says I condemn you no 15:38 more. She left a converted woman a virtuous woman. 15:41 Her life was changed, so even 15:43 though we have made mistakes when we were younger, we can 15:46 be reclaimed and become virtuous That's part of the new birth 15:49 experience. Right? Amen, yeah that's exciting. 15:52 That's right and it is exciting. Another one is Rahab the harlot. 15:54 She's in Jesus' genealogy, a pagan and she's in Jesus' 16:02 genealogy. She became a pure woman and she was actually the 16:05 might have been the great, great grandmother of David. I may have 16:08 that a little bit off, of Jesse and then David. So she was in 16:12 that. So David actually had Canaanite blood in him. 16:17 So God can put together people from different 16:20 backgrounds. He can. The point I'm getting 16:22 at, who can find a virtuous woman? It's possible. Every 16:26 woman can be virtuous. Every woman can be a lovely, godly, 16:31 well-balanced person. God has designed us to be reclaimed, 16:35 redeemed, restored, revived. So it can happen. So who can find a 16:39 virtuous woman. And when you find her... for her price is far 16:45 above rubies. So when you find her grab her. Don't let her get 16:49 away. Don't let her get away. Here's a fun part of this... 16:52 If you can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above 16:57 rubies. The heart of her husband doeth safely trust in her. 17:01 What does that mean? 17:02 Just know she's going to do him good. What she's going to do, he 17:07 doesn't have to go behind her and watch; how she's spending 17:09 the money, how's she raising her kids, what she's doing in her 17:13 spare time. He just trusts her. I got married 31 years ago. I 17:18 have not seen a pay check the whole time. Really?! Yeah every 17:22 one goes to my wife. She's good at that? 17:25 Yeah, I'm decent with money but she's really good with money and 17:29 I just trust her. I trust her with the finances, with the 17:31 running of the home. When she comes home, she says oh I had to 17:33 buy... I bought recently a microwave. Is that okay. Of 17:36 course, because you're always good with money. You're always 17:39 reliable. I trust you. This is an area that I just trust my 17:42 wife and don't have to question her. Yeah very good, that's very 17:48 good. So this says here... 17:58 Safely trust because you know she's reliable. 18:10 Do him good. Can you imagine a wife who's just thinking about 18:15 how can I make this man happy, thinking, helping this marriage 18:22 to stay well oiled, if I can put that out there. Pulling out her 18:26 own little can of love drops. Love drops are very interesting. 18:31 And of course it's the love. We can put it in drop form. If we 18:36 are using love drops daily it will keep the machinery well 18:40 oiled. But if you neglect something, it has a squeak, a 18:45 problem, love drops will help heal that as we talk, make 18:49 amends, work things out, negotiate. So love on the front 18:52 end helps the marriage to run well but if something goes bad 18:56 love will reclaim that marriage. And love is a choice, it's a 19:01 choice. Yes, we need to love by faith. 19:06 Explain that, to love by faith. 19:09 Sometimes the marriage is so bad you just want to run away but by 19:14 faith you can say, God you brought us together. I believe 19:18 you can fix this and by faith I'm going to love this man or by 19:22 faith I'm going to love this woman. You know we're not 19:26 getting along. Both of us want to check out of here. But loving 19:30 by faith... That's actually a New Testament term, love by 19:33 faith. Love by faith. Sometimes it's by faith you're staying 19:36 together. That's part of the covenant agreement, that's part of sticking together 19:39 that's part of the two becoming one. It is, I'd rather be 19:43 anywhere else right now because this marriage is so hurtful to 19:47 me. I'm not talking about abuse. Abusive marriage is a whole 19:51 different topic. This is when couples have grown apart, 19:54 They're not getting along, they're arguing, they're 19:56 fuming, they're fussing you know It's been going a long time and 20:00 maybe the love has died down some. Those marriages yes. 20:04 Even the other marriages where there's abuse, if they get help 20:06 they can be reclaimed too. But I don't want to go there today. 20:11 I want to stick with this. So by loving by faith. That person, 20:15 God has given her to me, God has given him to me and I 20:19 believe that we can come out of this and learn some things and 20:23 maybe even be stronger for it. So loving by faith. It is giving 20:28 it to God, praying, claiming Bible promises and letting him 20:33 soothe you and letting him bring you comfort. He's the God of all 20:37 comfort. He will comfort us in all our afflictions and so God 20:42 can comfort you and carry you through this time in his working 20:46 with you and pray that he will work with your spouse. So love 20:50 drops go a long way. Now Karen let's go to Ecclesiastes chapter 20:54 9 and verse 9 and find some counsel for husbands here. 21:12 Now in Ecclesiastes Solomon is telling husbands to live 21:19 joyfully, or we could say enjoy life. Enjoy life. God wanted us 21:23 to have an enjoyment in our lives and this says with the 21:28 wife who you love all the days of your vain life which he has 21:33 given you under the sun. So it's with you wife whom you love. 21:37 We should be loving our wives and caring for them. 21:40 It's interesting as we take a look at this it says this is 21:44 your portion in life and labor which you perform under the sun 21:48 but in verse 10 the first phrase Karen read the first phrase of 21:52 verse 10... 22:02 Okay, the context of this, whatever your hand finds to do 22:06 do it with all you might. The context is living joyfully with 22:10 your wife. That's your portion under the sun. We take that out 22:14 of context, if you're going to work at a job or anything do it 22:17 it with all your might and that's good, we need to. But 22:20 here it's really saying you need to put everything into your 22:23 marriage. The reason is because the last part of this verse says 22:26 there's no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the 22:30 grave where you are going. So you can't fix your marriage 22:35 after you're dead. It's got to be on this side of death when 22:40 you're on top of the top so you're not underneath. 22:44 No coming back from the grave and visiting and putting your 22:47 hands in the life of your loved ones. 22:48 No coming back. Things you're wanting to teach them, tell them 22:50 work with them, there's none of that. So whatever your hand 22:54 finds to do, do with all your might. That's living joyfully 22:57 with your wife. We need to be putting efforts into our 23:01 marriages. Like computers bonk out, we'll spend hours trying to 23:05 fix it. But there's a glitch in our marriage; do we put as much 23:10 energy into fixing our marriages as we do dealing with our cars, 23:15 our boats, computers. So whatever he finds to do we're 23:19 commanded to do it with husband and wife both and to do it 23:25 joyfully. Let's go to Ephesians chapter 4 and verse 32 because 23:29 I want to talk about love drops. What are the ingredients of love 23:34 drops? There's an ancient formula that has not been used 23:39 much because people really don't know. It's gone out of use. 23:45 The idea of love drops. 23:46 That idea of love drops and also the ingredients, what makes a 23:49 love drop. We need to bring them back. Ephesians chapter 4 and 23:52 verse 32. Go ahead would you read it. 23:54 Thirty-two? Yes. 24:04 Okay, three ingredients. Be ye kind. There's a song: Be ye kind 24:09 one to another, do you know that one? Tenderhearted, forgiving 24:14 one another. That's even a song that we sing. Kindness, 24:21 gentleness, goodness, treating each other well is an ingredient 24:28 in love drops. That's the first one is having a kindness. 24:32 Then there's a tender heartedness where we're dealing 24:36 sympathetically, empathetically, patiently, entering into their 24:39 world. Our spouses have down turns. Things aren't going well 24:42 at work or the children or whatever. It's just being tender 24:45 hearted, reaching out to them. 24:47 Coming out of ourselves. 24:50 Coming out of ourselves, yeah. Being tender hearted, not cold 24:53 hearted or cold shouldered. So there's a tender heartedness. 24:57 Be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, and he says 25:01 forgiving one another. So forgiveness is a part where we 25:06 need to learn to forgive. Rebekah had to forgive Isaac for 25:11 a big blunder, public blunder. You know he disgraced himself 25:15 in front of everybody once they were found out. But she had to 25:20 forgive him. They made up and got their marriage back online. 25:25 They learned some lessons and moved forward. So kindness, not 25:30 holding grudges, not letting them fester in us. Dialoguing 25:35 talking. Love drops is not an eye problem. Love drops is 25:39 actually the way to fix the problems. So instead of putting 25:42 love drops down in there, I'm turning my head to problems. It 25:45 means we're going to talk about this kindly, gently, lovingly 25:49 and we're going to solve this. Now these three ingredients are 25:53 not rare ingredients. They're in the reach of all of us. 25:58 All of us can be kind. All of us can be tender hearted, all of us 26:02 can learn to forgive one another so we can all have that love 26:07 that we're longing for. Giving love, receiving love, having 26:12 love drops, having love drops. 26:15 Pastor we are in need of love. Certainly to be able to come out 26:20 of ourselves, to be able to look to the needs of others. Would 26:25 you offer prayer for us please. 26:27 I'd love to. Thank you for having me. 26:28 Loving Father in heaven, I just pray dear Lord for our homes, 26:34 for our marriages that couples today will just have a softening 26:40 in their hearts towards one another and realize that you 26:42 know what, we had it at one time we can get it back. Bless us 26:47 Help us to put the energy in. Give us the Holy Spirit. Give us 26:53 the desires, give us the tools that we can do that and bless 26:58 each other. We love you. We thank you for the hope you have 27:02 given us. We thank you for our spouses. Help us to rejoice with 27:07 each other. In Jesus name, Amen. 27:10 Amen. Well pastor first of all thank you for the prayer. How 27:15 did you discover all these wonderful love drops. Did you go 27:21 to class and study all that. How did this come to be? 27:24 I did go to class. School of hard knocks. 27:27 That was a good one. 27:29 That's true, that is true. Through life experiences. 27:33 Through life experiences with my wife and I. 27:36 Seeing the scriptures coming alive to you. 27:39 Yes. My wife has been a blessing to me. We've had our ups and 27:42 downs like all couples do. But we stuck together. We have a 27:45 good marriage. We love each other. We feel fulfilled. 27:48 You know a lot of these were just my own personal struggles 27:53 tackling these verses. 27:55 Well thank you so much again for coming to the program and 27:58 sharing with us Love Drops. We really appreciate it. 28:03 For those of you at home, I know I learned something today. 28:06 I hope you did as well. Let's put that love in to the 28:10 relationships. Keep that love going as God would have us to. 28:14 God bless you. |
Revised 2016-03-30