Participants: John Bradshaw
Series Code: IIW
Program Code: IIW001306
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01:30 ♪[Music]♪
01:40 ♪[Music]♪ 01:49 >>John: Thanks for joining me today on It Is Written. 01:52 Today, we're discussing the very important 01:55 and very biblical subject of forgiveness. 01:58 And I have a special guest with me today; 02:01 his name is Dick Tibbits. 02:02 He's a speaker; he is an author. 02:05 He's also the Chief People Officer for Florida Hospital. 02:08 And he's written a book called “Forgive to Live.” 02:11 Dick, thank you so much for taking time today. 02:14 >>Dick: It's good to be back again, thank you. 02:15 >>John: This subject of forgiveness, 02:18 such an important subject. 02:20 Such a biblical subject. 02:22 Now, let's dive into this by going straight 02:24 to the Lord's Prayer. 02:24 Jesus taught us to say, 02:26 “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” 02:30 That's interesting, isn't it? 02:31 >>Dick: Yes, in fact, at the end of the prayer 02:33 there's even a commentary that clarifies that and it says, 02:35 “If you do not forgive others, 02:38 your heavenly Father will not forgive you.” 02:40 Now, that is scary to think 02:42 that there's something I could fail to do, 02:45 and all of a sudden God's gonna to withhold 02:47 His forgiveness from me? 02:48 >>John: It seems to me that as Jesus was saying this, 02:50 He was very, very clear. 02:52 He was clear. 02:53 If you don't forgive, uh, others, 02:55 you can't really expect God to forgive you. 02:59 It doesn't seem to me like Jesus is saying, 03:01 "Now, there's a way for you to earn forgiveness." 03:03 So clearly what He's doing is He's linking this attitude that 03:08 we might have with others, and saying that this attitude 03:11 we do or don't have, uh, 03:13 somehow perhaps makes it impossible for us 03:16 to receive the grace and goodness of God. 03:17 >>Dick: Yeah, because God's forgiving me 03:20 gives me a future benefit in eternal life. 03:23 My forgiving someone else gives me a benefit today. 03:27 Because today when I practice forgiveness I can be released 03:31 from the bitterness that has kept me entrapped for decades. 03:35 So it's really what God is saying is not, 03:38 "I won't do this if you don't do that." 03:40 What He's saying is, 03:41 "I can't give you the blessing that forgiveness entails 03:45 unless you're willing to receive that by forgiving others." 03:49 >>John: Forgiveness is good for a person. 03:51 >>Dick: Yes. 03:52 >>John: On all kinds of levels. 03:53 >>Dick: Yes. 03:54 >>John: Interpersonally, emotionally, physically even. 03:55 Even good for you physically to forgive. 03:57 That's remarkable. 03:58 >>Dick: Yep, and we've discussed that, how, 04:00 how forgiveness can change my blood pressure and improve it, 04:04 how forgiveness can change my outlook on life 04:06 so that I move from bitterness to better. 04:09 Which is a whole good way to do life. 04:12 I really feel for people who have experienced pain 04:15 who don't know how to get out of bitterness. 04:17 That's why I teach forgiveness, to give them a way out. 04:19 >>John: Well, let's do some teaching right now. 04:22 We've established, even today, and last time we met together, 04:26 that forgiveness is good for a person, on all those levels. 04:29 It's biblical, Jesus mandated it, 04:31 He, He said to, it was Peter, no, not seven times, 04:36 seventy times seven. 04:37 We talked in the past about how forgiveness, 04:39 really it's kind of a process, really. 04:41 You might be able to forgive someone right away; 04:43 they burned the toast, you can get over that pretty quickly. 04:45 If someone causes some terrible, grievous injury, 04:48 you know, that's going to be harder to work through. 04:51 Let's talk about the how of forgiveness. 04:54 I don't know that there would be very many people, 04:56 there'd be some, 04:57 but there will not be very many people who would say, 05:00 “I do not want to forgive.” 05:02 >>Dick: Right. 05:03 >>John: I think the vast majority of people would say, 05:04 “I want to forgive.” 05:06 But some things are easier said than done. 05:09 Help me to understand, how to forgive. 05:12 >>Dick: Well, the first step is the most obvious, 05:15 but it's the most important, and that is, 05:18 I must choose forgiveness. 05:21 You see, when something happens to me, 05:23 I frequently react. 05:24 Um, psychologists call it the famous stimulus response. 05:29 Stimulus, something occurs; response, I react. 05:33 And in that thing, so somebody hurts me 05:35 or somebody does something mean to me, 05:37 I react in pain and suffering. 05:39 Forgiveness adds to that by saying, 05:43 “I have a choice to make.” 05:45 And this is critically important, 05:46 because we now know it's choice, 05:49 not circumstance, that determines our life. 05:52 It's not the things that happen to me 05:54 that determine what my life will become. 05:56 It's the choices that I make. 05:57 >>John: It's how you respond to those stimuli. 06:00 >>Dick: Yeah. 06:01 And so, I teach people to almost become Shakespearian in this. 06:04 When someone happens to, something happens to you, 06:07 the question to ask yourself is this: 06:10 to forgive or not to forgive, that is the question. 06:14 >>John: Well, let me ask you a question about that. 06:16 When do you ask that question? 06:18 Um, someone backs into my car in the parking lot, 06:22 my lovely vehicle, I just had it painted, 06:24 causes terrible damage. 06:27 When do I want to be asking myself about forgiveness? 06:29 Right then? 06:31 Or after we've called insurance? 06:32 >>Dick: [chuckles] You want to start the forgiveness process 06:35 as soon as it comes to your mind that you can forgive. 06:40 You see, most of us do things, um, 06:42 without thinking about it. 06:43 It's called consciousness and unconsciousness. 06:46 And John, I'd like to invite you to do something 06:49 that'll help us to always remember this, 06:51 and I want to invite our viewing audience to do the same. 06:54 I simply want us to clasp our hands together like that, 06:56 if you could do that, and just stop, 06:58 and ask and look, which thumb is on the top? 07:01 Is it the left thumb or the right thumb? 07:04 And let me tell you the secret to this. 07:07 Half of the world will have their left thumb on top 07:10 and half of the world will have their right thumb on top. 07:13 It has nothing to do with whether you're left-handed 07:14 or right-handed. 07:16 It simply has to do with how you did it the first time, 07:19 and then how you do it every time. 07:21 So John, when you put your hands together, 07:23 did you think, which thumb will I put on top? 07:26 >>John: No, I did not. 07:27 And I tell you what, every time I do it, 07:28 same thing. 07:30 >>Dick: Same thing. 07:31 >>John: It doesn't feel right to have my left thumb on top. 07:32 It's right on top every single time. 07:34 >>Dick: When you do it backwards, 07:35 it feels very awkward. 07:36 >>John: No, no, if I did that I would change. 07:38 I would say, that's just not right. 07:40 >>Dick: And yet half the world does it that way 07:41 and thinks the way you do it is awkward. 07:43 My point being is, when we did this, 07:46 we didn't think. 07:47 That was an unconscious action. 07:50 When we've been hurt, we are going to unconsciously react. 07:54 So when, when somebody bangs into my car, 07:56 I might not think of forgiveness right away. 07:59 But when the thought comes in, and we, 08:01 and we can say a prayer that, "God, 08:03 when I have been hurt, please remind me to forgive," 08:05 God will bring the thought of forgiveness. 08:08 When the thought comes, that's when I choose to forgive. 08:12 >>John: You spoke a moment ago and said, 08:16 you referenced the forgiveness process. 08:20 You know, I think one of the difficult things about 08:23 forgiveness is people have all of these mis- 08:25 misconceived ideas or misperceptions 08:27 about what forgiveness is. 08:28 Forgiveness doesn't happen in an instant. 08:30 Forgive and forget, 08:31 last time we spoke we talked about forgive and forget. 08:33 >>Dick: Yeah. 08:34 >>John: That's not even reality. 08:36 Um, so how does this forgiveness process work? 08:40 >>Dick: Easy. 08:41 I choose to forgive, 08:44 and I have that sense that I've made that decision. 08:46 However... 08:47 >>John: You backed into my car, I said, 08:48 I really need to forgive that guy, 08:49 and I'm going to do this. 08:50 >>Dick: Yep. 08:51 However, two hours later or the next day, um, 08:53 I have to call my insurance company, 08:55 and all of a sudden I'm aware, wow, 08:56 this came, this took money out of my pocket. 08:58 >>John: Oh, yeah. 08:59 >>Dick: I thought I was covered, but I have a deductible. 09:00 This person just cost me $500, or whatever. 09:03 And I'm upset again. 09:04 >>John: I'm mad now. 09:05 >>Dick: I'm mad again. 09:06 Ah, choose to forgive again. 09:10 And so I forgive again and I'm fine, 09:12 until a couple days, I go to the body shop, 09:14 and they talk about, you know, 09:16 matching the paint, and they do it, 09:18 and it doesn't quite look as perfect as it did new. 09:20 And so now I've got a car 09:21 that's always going to have this defect. 09:24 And it upsets me again. 09:25 >>John: And as long as I've got that car, 09:27 every time I look at it... 09:28 >>Dick: I'm going to remember. 09:29 >>John: Yeah. 09:31 >>Dick: However, every time I can feel the upsetness coming, 09:34 the hurt or the anger rising, I choose to forgive again. 09:39 And that's why I think, um, Christ's, um, 09:43 advice was, I tell you not to forgive seven times. 09:46 I wish I could tell you to forgive 09:47 once or twice and it's over. 09:49 Some things it is over. 09:50 It is that easy. 09:52 But there are other things that it'll be forgiveness 09:55 and forgiveness. 09:56 So let me offer you this assistance. 09:59 When I forgive, it can be discouraging because 10:02 I just forgave yesterday and I forgave the day before, 10:04 and it keeps coming back. 10:05 Nothing's getting better. 10:06 >>John: Sure. 10:07 >>Dick: Does forgiveness work? 10:09 What I tell people is there's two things 10:11 that will begin to occur each time you forgive. 10:15 One is the intensity will become less and less. 10:19 It still might be upsetting but it won't be as upsetting. 10:22 Every time I reduce that intensity, 10:24 I'm benefiting from the gift of forgiveness. 10:27 And the second thing that'll change is frequency. 10:30 Yeah, I'll remember it again. 10:31 But I was remembering it every hour, 10:33 now I'm only remembering it every day, 10:35 and a time will come when I'll only recall it every month, 10:38 and then maybe once or twice a year, 10:40 and then maybe, maybe I‘ll remember it and maybe I won't. 10:43 Intensity and frequency 10:45 are the indicators of the effectiveness of forgiveness. 10:49 >>John: In your book “Forgive to Live,” 10:51 you write about something that is a key component 10:56 in practicing forgiveness. 10:59 That's something called reframing. 11:00 >>Dick: Yes. 11:02 >>John: We're going to talk about that in just a moment. 11:03 >>Dick: Good. 11:04 >>John: Just a moment. 11:04 Reframing. 11:05 You will not want to miss this. 11:07 I'll be right back. 11:09 >>John: There are hundreds, even thousands of promises 11:11 in the Bible, 11:12 all made by God to be a blessing, 11:14 and an encouragement for you. 11:17 Receive today's free offer. 11:18 It's “Promises of Peace.” 11:21 Be blessed by the promises of God. 11:23 To receive “Promises of Peace,” 11:25 call us at 800-253-3000 11:28 or visit us online at iiwoffer.com, 11:33 and receive our free offer, 11:35 “Promises of Peace.” 11:40 >>John: Thanks for joining me on It Is Written. 11:42 My guest today, Dick Tibbits, the author of “Forgive to Live” 11:45 and the chief people officer at Florida Hospital. 11:48 Dick, in your book “Forgive to Live,” 11:50 you talk about something that's a key component 11:52 in the process of forgiveness, 11:55 and that's something you call reframing. 11:58 Explain that to me. 11:59 >>Dick: Well, reframing is taking an event 12:03 and seeing it from a different perspective. 12:05 Um, we all view life from our frame of reference. 12:09 >>John: Sure. 12:10 >>Dick: You know, depending on our background, our history. 12:12 So reframing is taking that frame of reference that 12:15 I'm used to viewing things as and looking at them differently. 12:19 Um, good illustration, when you go to the art shop 12:22 and you put a frame around a picture. 12:25 I can bring the frame in close and get just the portrait. 12:28 Or I can expand the frame and get a family picture. 12:31 What I see, what I choose to see in my frame is how I see life. 12:36 >>John: Let's see if we can work this 12:39 with a few concrete examples. 12:40 I mentioned before, you backed into my car. 12:42 Okay, you backed into my car and I'm madder than a wet hen 12:45 because you backed into my car. 12:47 Maybe if I pulled the frame out a little bit I would see, what? 12:51 >>Dick: Part of it is you could see, 12:53 maybe, a circumstance in my life. 12:55 Um, I may have just gotten a phone call that my, um, 12:59 my mother was in critical condition, 13:01 and all's I can think about is what do I say to her, 13:04 and what do I need to say, is she going to be alive? 13:06 And I'm so distracted with that thought 13:08 as I'm not driving as I normally would carefully drive. 13:11 And so while I'm thinking about that, 13:13 you stop, I didn't see it, my reaction is delayed, 13:16 and I hit you. 13:17 Now, I still hit you, and it wasn't your fault 13:20 and you still deserve the right to, um, 13:22 collect from my insurance. 13:23 And none of that changes. 13:25 But rather than you seeing me as a stupid, 13:27 what were you thinking, what were you doing, 13:29 you now see me as maybe something 13:31 you can understand yourself. 13:32 >>John: Someone is shot dead, there's a grieving family. 13:39 Let's see if we can pull the frame back. 13:41 Um, dead loved one, mad man with a gun. 13:47 But perhaps, perhaps the guy was high on, 13:50 on drugs, wasn't in control of his capacities. 13:55 Uh, then you could talk about perhaps his upbringing and 13:57 some of the other unfortunate circumstances of his life. 14:00 Would that be reframing? 14:01 >>Dick: That would be reframing. 14:03 And part of reframing is how large we make our frame. 14:06 >>John: Let me ask you a question. 14:07 >>Dick: Yes. 14:09 >>John: Because I hear someone who's watching us saying, 14:10 you're letting the guy off the hook. 14:12 Am I letting the guy off the hook by reframing? 14:14 Well, the poor dear, he had a drug problem and he had, 14:18 he didn't have a daddy, and poor fellow. 14:21 Is that what I'm doing? 14:21 >>Dick: No. 14:22 A couple of things. 14:23 Number one, the facts are the facts. 14:25 Reframing doesn't change the facts. 14:27 Number two, every action has consequences. 14:30 And so reframing doesn't change the consequences to an act. 14:33 The person may need to serve time in jail 14:35 to reflect upon what they did, 14:38 so they don't do it again with the thoughtfulness 14:40 that they might have done that time. 14:42 But the other thing reframing does is, 14:44 I live a world of sin. 14:46 I live in a world where evil happens, 14:48 where hurt happens. 14:50 I cannot live in a protected world 14:52 where nothing bad happens to me. 14:54 You know, good, bad things happen to good people. 14:56 >>John: Yeah. 14:57 >>Dick: So I need to have a perspective that says, 15:00 you know, at some point it's in God's hands. 15:03 God has a view of the world different than mine. 15:05 And if I can turn it over to God, 15:08 then I'm not stuck with all the difficulties 15:11 and trials of this world, but I share it. 15:14 It's almost like the yoke. 15:15 God takes some of my burden and shares it with me 15:18 because I'm bringing Him into my world. 15:20 >>John: So reframing helps me to step back a little bit, 15:25 look at the big picture, and then, I'm going to suggest, 15:29 what it enables me to do is to perhaps more easily 15:34 choose the forgiveness option, 15:35 rather than seeing someone as a, as a tyrant or a moron or a, 15:39 or an idiot or whatever; I'm now seeing that person who, 15:43 like me, is subject to various, 15:45 um, dynamics in his or her life and maybe was under stress, 15:49 strain, reaction, whatever. 15:50 >>Dick: Exactly. 15:52 In fact, what I tell people is that reframing is really, 15:54 uh, seeing the person in a more, um, holistic view. 15:58 When I'm upset at someone, I notice all of your bad points. 16:02 I, I've experienced this when 16:04 I get into an argument with a friend. 16:05 They bring back all the things they can think of 16:07 that I've done wrong. 16:09 And when someone's hurt us, we tend to make them all bad. 16:12 Well, I got to tell you, there is no one all good, 16:15 and there is no one all bad. 16:17 Reframing is bringing the good and the bad. 16:20 Because if I don't, I get so locked into all the terrible 16:23 things they do, is that's all I see the person. 16:26 And you see that. 16:26 Best friends, and something happens, 16:29 and all of a sudden that best friend becomes my worst enemy. 16:31 >>John: Mmm. 16:32 >>Dick: Before I saw their good and the bad, 16:33 and now I only see their bad 16:35 and I don't want anything to do with them. 16:37 You know, I'm thankful, John, 16:38 that God sees the good in me and not just the bad. 16:42 Because if He didn't, we'd be in a terrible predicament. 16:46 >>John: Yeah, we sure would, wouldn't we? 16:48 “If we confess our sins, 16:51 He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.” 16:55 And again back to the Lord's prayer, 16:58 “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” 17:03 This really isn't up for grabs, is it? 17:05 This is not optional, it's a must. 17:07 >>Dick: It is a must. 17:08 Because when I'm angry, I'm blinded. 17:10 You've heard the expression, “Love is blind”? 17:12 >>John: Um-hmm. 17:14 >>Dick: I mean, I really got in touch with that when my daughter 17:14 had her first boyfriend, and I go, 17:16 what are you thinking! 17:17 >>John: [laughs] 17:18 >>Dick: But when you're in love with someone, 17:19 what's all you see in that person? 17:20 >>John: Yeah, all the good, all the wonderful things. 17:22 >>Dick: All the good. And you don't see the bad. 17:24 Well, I'm going to tell you, anger is equally as blind. 17:26 Because when I'm angry at someone, 17:28 I only see their bad; I don't see their good. 17:32 And that's why we cannot relate to the world 17:34 or even another individual out of anger, 17:36 because we will distort our picture. 17:39 That's why I say, forgiveness is reframing. 17:41 It's getting the picture more accurate, 17:43 more complete. 17:44 >>John: Do you think that forgiveness helps us 17:47 to have a more complete picture of who God is? 17:49 >>Dick: Oh, absolutely. 17:51 It, well, first of all, my forgiving others 17:55 and understanding how difficult that is helps me 17:58 not to take God's forgiveness for granted. 18:01 He went to Calvary so that I could be forgiven. 18:04 I need to recognize that God struggled with that forgiveness. 18:09 “If it be possible, let this cup...” 18:12 But He chose, He stayed with His choice because He knew 18:17 that the alternative to forgiveness is destruction. 18:20 >>John: So, so it's okay if someone says, 18:25 "I really want to forgive X, but I find it so difficult"? 18:29 It's okay? 18:30 >>Dick: In fact, not okay, that's reality. 18:33 If it's not difficult, I tell people, it's not forgiveness. 18:36 It's denial. 18:37 To quickly forgive someone like it didn't happen, 18:40 that, that's just denial. 18:42 Forgiveness deals right head on with the struggle. 18:45 So when I forgive someone, 18:47 it doesn't mean I have to smile and say, 18:48 the world is wonderful. 18:49 I can forgive you and yet tell you, 18:51 John, that what you did hurt me deeply. 18:54 And I'm going to have to work to get over this pain, 18:56 I'm going to work to get over it, 18:58 but I want you to know, I'm not gonna blame you. 19:01 I'm not gonna come to the place where I believe 19:03 that my life is your fault. 19:05 I'm gonna seek forgiveness so that I can live my life. 19:08 And I want you to know that. 19:09 >>John: Forgiveness is such a powerful thing. 19:12 Jesus encouraged us to forgive others; 19:14 every day we receive forgiveness from the God of heaven. 19:18 More on forgiveness with Dick Tibbits in just a moment. 19:22 >>John: Thursday, August the fifth, 2010 19:25 was not a happy day for 33 men, 19:29 when a collapse in a mine in Chile 19:32 buried them 2,300 feet below ground. 19:37 No matter how much they tried to escape, 19:39 there was no way out. 19:41 Rescue would have to come from above. 19:46 On the outskirts of the San Jose Mine, 19:48 over two and a half thousand people gathered, 19:52 and with each failed rescue attempt, 19:54 despair increased. 19:57 Families gathered together to pray for a miracle. 20:02 From the Atacama Desert comes a story of tragedy, 20:05 a story of uncertainty, yet a story of courage, 20:09 hope, and ultimately, a story of salvation. 20:13 Wait on the Lord, and the miracle will come. 20:17 “Trapped.” 20:19 Watch now on itiswritten.tv. 20:24 >>John: Today on It Is Written, how to forgive. 20:27 Thanks so much for being with me today. 20:30 I'm with Dick Tibbits, Chief People Officer 20:32 at Florida Hospital and the author of 20:34 “Forgive to Live.” 20:36 The benefits of forgiveness, Dick. 20:39 >>Dick: Um-hmm. 20:40 >>John: What are they and how do we realize them? 20:42 >>Dick: Well, that's the whole crux. 20:44 I forgive because it makes my life better. 20:47 I tell people, you can either complain and blame 20:50 or you can forgive and live. 20:52 Because forgiveness, 20:53 once it sets me free from the control of the past, 20:56 then invites me to say, where do I want my life to go? 21:00 What goals do I want to set for my life? 21:02 What do I want to become? 21:04 Or, from a spiritual perspective, 21:06 what does God want me to be, and how do I get there? 21:09 So it releases me from the past 21:12 to give me an open playing field for where my life can go. 21:14 >>John: Let me jump in on that. 21:15 That's reality, there are people who aren't realizing 21:17 what they should be realizing in their life because, 21:19 because of unforgiveness? 21:20 >>Dick: Yes. Yes. 21:21 They're trapped. 21:23 And when you live in the past, by repeating that story 21:26 and story and story, over and over again, 21:28 then your life repeats itself. 21:30 So a year from now I can be in the same place I am today 21:33 because I haven't broken that chain, 21:35 I haven't released myself. 21:37 And forgiveness is the way to freedom. 21:40 It is the way to peace. 21:41 >>John: What would you say to somebody watching us today, 21:44 and they're saying, yeah, 21:45 but I'm dealing with like a really, really big thing. 21:48 This isn't you backing into my car. 21:51 This is my child, uh, 21:53 is disabled because of someone's negligence, 21:58 or someone, whatever. 22:00 This is big stuff. 22:01 What would you say to that person 22:03 struggling with a forgiveness issue on a subject like that? 22:06 >>Dick: Well, I can share from my own experience, 22:09 having, um, well, in fact, 22:12 I went to work one day and my boss called me in, 22:15 and I thought, what's this about? 22:17 And I must admit, I had that little adolescent feeling, 22:21 you know, when the principal calls you, 22:22 I must have done something wrong. 22:23 >>John: I'm familiar with that. 22:24 >>Dick: Yes. 22:25 But I didn't know what I could have done wrong, 22:27 and so I went in, and my boss didn't look me in the eye, 22:30 and had a sheet of paper on the desk, 22:32 and read to me a script that went something like this: 22:36 As a result of the reengineering of this organization, 22:39 we have eliminated some positions, 22:42 and your position is no longer a part of this company. 22:44 You will pick up your final paycheck today. 22:47 Thank you for your service. 22:49 Good day. 22:50 And that was it. 22:52 Well, I walked out of there devastated. 22:55 My world was turned upside down. 22:57 Now, I know there are different events 22:59 that turn different people's worlds upside down. 23:01 >>John: Sure. 23:02 >>Dick: And I know that one of the blessings of life is, 23:05 no matter how much you suffer, 23:06 you can always find someone suffering more than you 23:09 and be thankful that by the grace of God. 23:11 But for me, that turned my world upside down. 23:15 I, my life and my work were so intertwined; 23:17 I loved my work, 23:19 and now I couldn't come back to work the next day. 23:22 So I remember going home that evening 23:23 and having to tell my wife, um, 23:25 who had just quit her job to start her schooling, 23:29 and my daughter who was just going away to college, 23:31 that our world had changed. 23:34 What was devastating about that is how it gripped me. 23:37 You know, you'd expect that in a week or so 23:39 I'd start applying for jobs and just move on. 23:42 >>John: Um-hmm. 23:43 >>Dick: But I couldn't move on; I was frozen. 23:44 I was angry. 23:46 I was bitter. 23:47 I felt betrayed. 23:48 These were not only my bosses; they were my friends. 23:51 And they just threw me away. 23:53 And, and I couldn't get past that. 23:55 My health began to suffer; my blood pressure went up; 23:58 I was putting on weight; I wasn't exercising; 24:01 I wasn't eating properly. 24:02 My mood had changed. 24:04 I was always a very optimistic, cheerful person, 24:06 and now I was withdrawn and bitter 24:08 and didn't want to talk to people. 24:10 My spiritual nature had changed. 24:12 I struggled to go to church 24:14 because I didn't know how to face people. 24:16 I was a failure, 24:17 and how could I preach the Gospel when I was failing? 24:20 And so my whole world spiraled down. 24:25 And I had people tell me, Dick, get over it. 24:28 Move beyond. 24:30 I didn't know what to do. 24:32 I was experiencing anger and the dark side of anger, 24:36 which was depression. 24:38 And I was, I was out of control, 24:41 until finally a friend of mine came to me and said, 24:44 “Have you tried forgiveness?” 24:46 And I thought, I went to seminary; I studied forgiveness. 24:50 Why didn't I think of that? 24:53 But you know, that changed my life, 24:55 and today I'm doing a job I love, 24:58 my family is together, 25:01 I have a life that I didn't think I could live, 25:04 because forgiveness released me from that bitterness, 25:08 and so I could find a better life. 25:10 >>John: This subject of forgiveness, 25:12 it's, it's central to the Gospel, isn't it? 25:14 >>Dick: It is absolutely central. 25:16 It is Genesis to Revelation. 25:19 It is what changes our lives. 25:21 It is the gift that God has given to us, 25:24 to forgive one another and to receive God's forgiveness. 25:29 >>John: Dick, in South Africa a number of years ago, 25:31 there was this remarkable Truth and Reconciliation Commission 25:35 to help South Africa get from apartheid 25:39 to the post- apartheid era, um, in a somewhat healthy fashion. 25:44 And, uh, South African President Nelson Mandela 25:47 had some remarkable things to say about forgiveness. 25:49 >>Dick: Yeah, we've been talking about forgiveness 25:51 at an individual level, 25:52 but here we have it at a national level. 25:55 You see, Nelson Mandela knew that over the years 25:58 all the suppression that took place, 26:01 if that was released all at once, 26:03 all of that anger and hurt and bitterness 26:05 would come crashing into the streets with looting and, 26:08 and killing even. 26:10 And so he knew that if this transition 26:12 was to make the government stronger, 26:14 that forgiveness would be necessary 26:16 to deal with all of that hurt and anger. 26:19 In fact, his close friend, Bishop Desmond Tutu, 26:22 said this: “Without forgiveness there is no future.” 26:26 >>John: If that was true for South Africa, 26:29 that's certainly true for me and you, 26:31 anybody watching today. 26:32 >>Dick: Absolutely. 26:33 >>John: Without forgiveness there's, 26:34 there's really, there's really no future, is there? 26:35 >>Dick: There is no future; there's only reliving the past. 26:38 >>John: I just can't thank you enough, 26:40 Dick, for taking the time to join me today. 26:42 And I, I know that I know that I know many, 26:45 many people watching today 26:48 are going to have their lives transformed 26:51 because they've taken what you've put together, 26:53 what the Lord led you to, 26:54 they're going to apply it in their own lives, 26:56 and they're gonna be free and forgiving and forgiven. 27:00 >>Dick: It'll change your life. 27:02 Forgiveness is the one thing that changes everything. 27:05 >>John: Amen. 27:05 Let's pray together, can we do that? 27:06 >>Dick: Let's do that. 27:08 >>John: Father in Heaven, 27:09 I thank You so much that You are a God who forgives. 27:13 We thank You the Bible tells us, 27:15 assures us, 27:16 that we can come to You with all of our mess and baggage and, 27:19 and all the stuff, 27:21 and know that You'll forgive us 27:23 and You'll forgive us freely. 27:24 I pray, help us to be forgiving people 27:28 and to experience the blessings 27:31 that flow when forgiveness takes place in our lives. 27:35 I thank You, Lord, for this time, 27:37 knowing that You will bless greatly as a result of it. 27:40 And we pray together in Jesus' name, 27:42 Amen. 27:43 >>Dick: Amen. 27:45 ♪[Music]♪ 27:55 ♪[Music]♪ 28:11 >>John: There are hundreds, 28:12 even thousands of promises in the Bible, 28:15 all made by God to be a blessing and an encouragement for you. 28:20 Receive today's free offer. 28:21 It's “Promises of Peace.” 28:24 Be blessed by the promises of God. 28:26 To receive “Promises of Peace,” 28:28 call us at 800-253-3000 28:31 or visit us online at iiwoffer.com, 28:36 and receive our free offer, “Promises of Peace.” 28:42 >>John: Thank you for remembering that It Is Written 28:44 exists because of the kindness of people just like you. 28:47 To support this international life-changing ministry, 28:50 please call us now at 800-253-3000. 28:55 You can send your tax-deductible gift 28:56 to the address on your screen, 28:58 or you can visit us online at itiswritten.com. 29:02 Thank you for your prayers and for your financial support. 29:04 Our number again is 800-253-3000. 29:09 Or you can visit us online at itiswritten.com. 29:13 >>John: Friend, until next time, I'd like you to remember this. 29:15 The Bible says, 29:17 “It is written, 29:18 man shall not live by bread alone, 29:20 but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” 29:23 ♪[Music]♪ |
Revised 2018-07-11