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Series Code: IIW
Program Code: IIW021239S
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00:15 ♪[music ends]♪♪
00:19 >>John Bradshaw: This is It Is Written. 00:21 I'm John Bradshaw. Thanks for joining me. 00:24 Well, there are sunnier subjects, I guess, 00:27 but I'm not sure there are too many that are more important. 00:31 We're going to take a few moments together 00:32 to talk about history's most hated father, and, honestly, 00:37 it might be a subject that arouses strong feelings, 00:40 especially if your relationship with your own father 00:43 wasn't or isn't good. 00:46 Examine history and you find some tyrannical fathers. 00:49 You'll find accounts of emperors and kings 00:51 who murdered their children. 00:52 Look in the news and, of course, 00:53 you're gonna find truly disturbing reports 00:56 of monsters who've treated their children hideously. 01:00 I'm not planning on getting too far into that. 01:02 But I am talking about much more than the father who refused 01:06 to buy ice cream or never attended a game or a recital 01:09 or the dad who always worked late. 01:12 That's careless parenting, for sure, 01:14 but I'm being very specific about this. 01:16 Not the worst father ever, but history's most hated father. 01:22 I'm going to tell you who it is, 01:24 and you might be surprised by who I identify. 01:27 I don't think there's any question about it. 01:29 In fact, it's not even close. 01:32 In the Bible you'll find fathers who made terrible mistakes. 01:36 Lot's mistake was moving his family to about the worst place 01:39 they could have gone, but then he followed that up 01:41 with getting drunk, and what happened afterwards 01:44 was not something he would ever have been proud of. 01:47 We can think of King Manasseh, who made his children 01:49 pass through fire, which is really a euphemistic way 01:52 of saying that he sacrificed his children to the devil. 01:57 But even after that, 01:58 not even Manasseh is history's most hated father. 02:02 You might be thinking, Hitler. 02:04 But it's not known that Hitler had any children. 02:06 Joseph Stalin had several children. 02:08 Probably wasn't the perfect father, 02:10 but there's nothing 02:11 suggesting he was an especially bad father, either, 02:14 definitely not the most hated. 02:17 So if you try to figure out who wins the prize 02:20 as history's most hated father, 02:23 you need to set your sights a little higher. 02:28 Let's look at the Bible, Genesis 1:1. 02:30 "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." 02:34 This was the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit 02:37 working together. 02:38 Verse 26 says, 02:39 "And God said, 'Let us make man in our image, 02:43 after our likeness.'" 02:44 There's that plurality. 02:46 The text doesn't explicitly state three persons, 02:50 but we can deduce that by looking elsewhere in the Bible. 02:52 Clearly, "us" is more than one. 02:56 Genesis 1:27 says, 02:57 "So God created man in His own image, 03:00 "in the image of God created He him; 03:02 male and female created He them." 03:05 Now, let's establish that there is a Father God. 03:09 Ephesians 4:6 speaks of "one God and Father of all." 03:13 In John 20, verse 17, Jesus encountered Mary Magdalene 03:17 shortly after His resurrection and said, 03:20 "Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to my Father; 03:24 "but go to my brethren and say to them, 03:26 "'I am ascending to my Father and your Father, 03:29 and to my God and your God.'" 03:31 Malachi 2, verse 10 says, 03:33 "Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us?" 03:38 Matthew 5:16, "Let your light so shine before men, 03:43 "that they may see your good works, 03:45 and glorify your Father which is in heaven." 03:49 In Matthew 6, verse 9, Jesus says, 03:50 "In this manner, therefore, pray: 03:54 Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name." 03:58 So you get the idea: 04:00 God, the Father, is our Father. Clearest thing in the world. 04:07 But how have His children related to God? 04:11 Let's look at some biblical history. 04:12 Let's go back to the time before God's people had made it 04:15 to the Promised Land. 04:17 They'd recently left Egypt. 04:19 Moses is on Mount Sinai with God. 04:22 Well, what are the people doing? Exodus 32, starting in verse 3: 04:27 "So all the people broke off the golden earrings 04:30 "which were in their ears, and brought them to Aaron. 04:34 "And he received the gold from their hand, 04:36 "and he fashioned it with an engraving tool, 04:39 "and made a molded calf. 04:42 "Then they said, 'This is your god, O Israel, 04:45 "that brought you out of the land of Egypt!' 04:48 "So when Aaron saw it, he built an altar before it. 04:53 "And Aaron made a proclamation and said, 04:56 "'Tomorrow is a feast to the Lord.' 04:59 "Then they rose early on the next day, 05:02 "offered burnt offerings, and brought peace offerings; 05:05 and the people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play." 05:11 So let's think this through. 05:13 God liberated them from Egyptian slavery. 05:17 God miraculously saved them from certain death. 05:21 He made an incredible way of escape. 05:24 He opened up an ocean, or at least the Red Sea. 05:28 And as God is giving Moses the Ten Commandments, 05:31 His very own people are at the bottom of the mountain 05:34 breaking every one of them. 05:37 So someone says, "They were tempted. 05:39 "They didn't know what had become of Moses, 05:40 "and it was a moment of weakness. 05:42 They'd been influenced by their time in Egypt." 05:45 Okay. 05:46 But did things get better? Not exactly. 05:51 Much later, we read that Israel wanted a king. 05:55 God had been guiding them through prophets and judges, 05:57 but that wasn't good enough for many of them. 06:00 And God said to Samuel in 1 Samuel 8 in verse 7, 06:03 "Heed the voice of the people in all that they say to you; 06:07 "for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected me, 06:11 that I should not reign over them." 06:14 This is God speaking, and He says, 06:17 "They have rejected me." 06:19 Speaking of Jesus the Son of God, Isaiah wrote, 06:23 "He is despised and rejected of men, 06:25 "a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; 06:28 "and we hid as it were our faces from Him; 06:31 He was despised, and we esteemed Him not." 06:34 That's Isaiah 53:3. 06:36 Of course, this was a rejection of the Father. 06:39 A similar thought is expressed in the New Testament, 06:41 starting in Mark 12 in verse 6: 06:44 "Therefore still having one son, 06:47 "his beloved, he also sent him to them last, 06:51 "saying, 'They will respect my son.' But those vinedressers 06:56 "said among themselves, 'This is the heir. Come, let us kill him, 07:01 "and the inheritance will be ours.' So they took him 07:04 and killed him and cast him out of the vineyard." 07:08 Mark 12:6-8. 07:10 They killed the son and, in doing so, 07:14 were rejecting the authority of the father. 07:18 In Jeremiah 2:5, God asks, 07:21 "What injustice have your fathers found in me, 07:24 "that they have gone far from me, have followed idols, 07:27 and have become idolators?" 07:29 He goes on to say, "I brought you into a bountiful country, 07:33 "to eat its fruit and its goodness. 07:35 "But when you entered, 07:36 "you defiled my land and made my heritage an abomination.... 07:42 "For my people have committed two evils: 07:45 "they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, 07:49 "and hewn themselves cisterns-- 07:52 broken cisterns that can hold no water." 07:57 You see what was happening? 07:58 God had made them, created them, loved them, 08:02 fed them with manna from heaven, brought water out of a rock, 08:06 opened up the Red Sea, and yet He was out-and-out 08:11 rejected by His people. 08:13 In Isaiah 5, God asks, "What more could have been done 08:16 to my vineyard that I have not done in it?" 08:19 Isaiah 5, verse 4. 08:21 Really, has there ever been a more hated father? 08:26 Hated and rejected by people all over the entire world 08:32 for thousands of years. 08:34 Even one in three angels warred against God 08:37 in hatred and rebellion. 08:40 Has to be a tough job being God. 08:43 In a moment, what is God's response to this rejection? 08:49 And what if you had a lousy father? 08:51 How do you cope with that? 08:54 I'll have that when I come back. 08:56 ♪[music swells and ends]♪♪ 09:05 >>Announcer: There is nothing in this world more precious 09:07 than a meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ. 09:10 Today's free offer, "Steps to Christ," 09:12 is one of the best books ever written 09:14 on how to build a successful relationship with Jesus 09:17 that will see you through to eternity. 09:19 To receive your free copy, 09:20 call 800-253-3000 09:23 or visit us online at iiwoffer.com. 09:27 Get "Steps to Christ" today: 09:28 800-253-3000 09:31 or online at iiwoffer.com. 09:35 >>John Bradshaw: Thanks for joining me on It Is Written. 09:38 History's most hated father? 09:40 No doubt about it. That's God. 09:43 Sure, God has His supporters, 09:45 but that number is steadily shrinking; 09:47 at least that's what the statistics suggest. 09:50 A recent Gallup poll stated that in 2020 09:53 less than 50 percent of Americans 09:55 claim to be members of a church, synagogue, or mosque 09:59 for the first time since records were kept. 10:02 In 1999, that number was 70 percent. 10:07 It's now 47 percent. 10:10 People are definitely drifting away from God. 10:15 But in addition to apathy, 10:17 there's also a lot of straight- out hostility towards God. 10:21 One television host spoke for many people when he said, 10:25 "A more psychopathic character you will not ever find 10:30 "in fiction. Just the idea that people worshiped 10:34 "the God of this Bible is insane. 10:37 There is no more psychopathic mass murderer than God." 10:42 And when that statement was made, 10:45 there were few, if any, dissenting voices. 10:50 The website of a well-known atheist describes God 10:53 as "narcissistic," a "sociopath," and a "psychopath." 10:58 Now, for the sake of definition, 10:59 a psychopath, "in general, [has] a hard time 11:03 "forming real emotional attachments with others. 11:06 "Instead, they form artificial, shallow relationships designed 11:11 "to be manipulated in a way that most benefits the psychopath. 11:16 "People are seen as pawns to be used to forward 11:18 "the psychopath's goals. 11:20 "Psychopaths rarely feel guilt 11:23 "regarding any of their behaviors, 11:25 no matter how much they hurt others." 11:28 And those are the attributes that some attribute to God. 11:34 That's what some people say about the One 11:36 that the Bible says is love. 11:39 Now, not all atheists are nearly as uncharitable, 11:43 but millions and millions and millions of people reject God. 11:49 They just do it in a less jarring, 11:51 maybe more socially acceptable way. 11:54 But how would that feel to God, 11:55 to see His people turning their backs on Him? 11:58 Jesus asked a profound question when He said, 12:02 "But why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' 12:05 and do not the things which I say?" 12:07 Luke 6:46. 12:10 That's a challenge today: people who despise God politely. 12:14 God is God. 12:16 And He asks for our hearts for the simple reason 12:18 that without our consent, without our agreement, 12:22 without our recognition of who He is, 12:24 and without realizing we are lost without the salvation 12:27 He provides, there's really not a lot God can do 12:30 to save a person-- nothing, in fact. 12:34 As long as we keep Him at arm's length-- 12:37 think now, people keeping the Creator at arm's length-- 12:42 as long as we do that, we're really saying the same thing 12:45 as the people in the parable who said, 12:48 "We will not have this man to reign over us." 12:53 Very unfortunately, there's a subset of people 12:57 for whom Father's Day is uncomfortable. 13:01 They're the people who had a lousy father. 13:04 And there are plenty of them. 13:06 Not too much need to go into detail here, 13:08 but it could be that the father was a monster, 13:10 or deserted the family or was mean or rough or absent or lazy, 13:15 or, or a hundred things. 13:18 So what do you do if you have, or, or had, a terrible father? 13:24 Let me suggest several things. 13:26 First, if he's living, pray for your father. 13:30 Second, accept that some people are faulty. 13:34 In fact, we're all faulty, every last one of us. 13:38 Then try to really understand 13:39 what your father was going through or facing. 13:41 Now, now, let me pause here and say this. 13:43 I, I'm not suggesting this 13:44 in case of something really extreme. 13:46 I'm not trying to sweep something awful 13:50 and, and traumatic under the carpet. 13:52 I'm speaking in general terms. 13:54 And this is what I think most of us can relate to. 13:57 I'm not saying this so you can excuse 13:59 your father's bad behavior, but the truth is, 14:02 if your dad had a really demanding job 14:04 and he tried to spend more time at home, 14:06 but his job as a, I don't know, a long-haul truck driver 14:09 meant that he was away a lot, 14:11 it's worth trying to understand that. 14:13 If your father didn't have a role model, 14:15 if he wasn't raised by his father, 14:18 if he never had love demonstrated, 14:21 it was always going to be hard 14:22 to be the kind of father that you needed 14:24 or the kind of father that he most likely wanted to be. 14:27 Now, I think that he could have and should have read books 14:30 or gone to a class or asked for advice, something. 14:33 But he didn't. 14:35 Endeavoring to understand why he was what he was and how he was 14:39 doesn't let him off the hook, 14:42 but it gives you the opportunity to understand, 14:44 and that can lessen your bitterness or disappointment. 14:48 Maybe you had some terrible argument with your father, 14:50 and he didn't handle himself well. 14:52 It's worth trying to understand that maybe he was disappointed 14:55 or hurt or simply made a bad choice. 14:59 Think about fathers who were raised a few years ago, 15:01 and suddenly their children are playing this loud rock music, 15:04 and they're wanting to go out to parties, 15:06 and their sons were growing their hair, 15:08 and their sons and daughters were using drugs. 15:11 That's what families had to wrestle with 15:12 in the late '60s and early '70s. 15:14 Society as a whole was changing. 15:17 It was uncharted territory for a lot of fathers. 15:21 They were dealing with things 15:22 that no one had dealt with before. 15:25 I'd suggest this if you feel your own father 15:27 didn't do a good job. 15:30 Try to understand him. 15:32 Try to understand his situation. 15:33 Again, not to excuse his failings, 15:37 but understanding will help you to let go 15:40 of some of the bitterness. 15:43 And there's one more thing I'd say. 15:45 If you had a bad father, 15:47 remember that you have a heavenly Father. 15:51 David wrote something interesting in Psalm 27, 15:54 verse 10: 15:55 "When my father and my mother forsake me, 15:57 then the Lord will take me up." 16:00 When your parents let you down, you still have a parent, 16:05 a perfect parent, and that's God. 16:10 And how do you understand what God is like? 16:13 In John 14, Philip said to Jesus, 16:15 "Lord, show us the Father, and it is sufficient for us." 16:18 And Jesus answered by saying, 16:21 "He who has seen me has seen the Father." 16:25 So if you want to know what your heavenly Father is like, 16:28 look at Jesus, who went about doing good, 16:31 who came to heal and help and lift up and bless and forgive. 16:37 All those beautiful attributes you see in Jesus, 16:40 they show you what your Father is like. 16:44 Now, if you're a father and you're wanting to up your game, 16:48 in fact, if you're a parent and you'd like to do better 16:50 at parenting, I've got 10 suggestions for you. 16:54 These are not the 10 commandments of parenting, 16:57 but they're 10 very good suggestions of parenting. 17:00 Now, get ready to take some notes 17:01 because these principles will really help. 17:04 How to be a better parent, that's coming right up. 17:08 ♪[music swells and ends]♪♪ 17:18 >>Announcer: There is nothing in this world more precious 17:20 than a meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ. 17:23 Today's free offer, "Steps to Christ," 17:25 is one of the best books ever written 17:27 on how to build a successful relationship with Jesus 17:30 that will see you through to eternity. 17:32 To receive your free copy, 17:33 call 800-253-3000 17:36 or visit us online at iiwoffer.com. 17:39 Get "Steps to Christ" today: 17:41 800-253-3000 17:44 or online at iiwoffer.com. 17:48 >>John Bradshaw: His name is mentioned 294 times 17:51 in the Bible. 17:52 He's known as the friend of God and the father of the faithful. 17:56 His life was a life of faith, 17:59 and he plays an important role in the history of God's people. 18:03 Join me for another episode of our series 18:06 "Great Characters of the Bible" 18:08 as we look at the life of Abraham. 18:11 God told him to go, and by faith he went, 18:14 even though he didn't know where he was going. 18:17 God told him he would have a son, and by faith he believed, 18:22 despite the fact that he was 100 years old. 18:26 Abraham's story reminds us that God keeps His promises, 18:30 that you can trust God even when you don't understand, 18:34 and that if you have faith, 18:36 God can do amazing things in your life. 18:39 "Great Characters of the Bible: Abraham," 18:42 brought to you by It Is Written TV. 18:48 >>John Bradshaw: If a father is looking to raise his game 18:51 as a parent, what should he do? 18:54 It's easy, in theory. 18:57 Love your children. Love them. 19:01 Now, how do you do that? 19:02 Well, one important way is to remember 19:04 that love can be spelled T-I-M-E. 19:10 Spend time with your children. 19:13 You don't have time? 19:15 Find time. 19:16 You think you have more important things to do? 19:18 You don't. Your other responsibilities are secondary. 19:22 Take time. Do things with your kids. 19:26 Show up to school events. Go to their games. 19:30 Get down on the floor and play with them. 19:32 Now, it sounds obvious, doesn't it? 19:34 But if you're not doing it, or if you think you can get away 19:37 without it, I'm telling you otherwise. 19:40 Take time with your children. 19:41 Children need their father in their life. 19:45 In a report from the U.S. Department of Health 19:47 and Human Services, 19:48 "The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development 19:52 of Their Children," 19:53 there's a section titled "Ten Ways to Be a Better Dad." 19:57 Number two is, "Spend time with your children." 20:02 I'm going to give you the other nine. 20:05 The first point listed is, 20:07 "Respect your children's mother." 20:09 They say one of the best things a father can do for his children 20:13 is to respect their mother. 20:16 It doesn't take a genius to figure out why. 20:19 Parents who love and respect each other 20:21 provide security for their children. 20:24 If you haven't been doing this, don't wait any longer. 20:29 First step to being a better dad: 20:32 Respect your children's mother. 20:36 Number two, now, that was, "Spend time with your children." 20:40 Will ya have to let go of some things in order to do this? 20:43 Probably, but it's about the best thing you could ever do. 20:47 Number three: "Earn the right to be heard." 20:51 Talk with your children early in their lives 20:54 so they'll feel comfortable talking with you. 20:57 Establish a trust relationship. 21:00 Listen to your kids. 21:02 Find out what's going on in their lives. 21:05 And care about it. 21:07 I'll give you number four: "Discipline with love." 21:11 Just don't discipline in anger. 21:15 There's nothing healthy about it. 21:17 And I add to this by saying, don't yell at your kids. 21:21 Just don't. It never helps. 21:25 Unless, of course, your child is on the railroad track, 21:28 and there's a train coming, 21:29 but you know I'm not talking about that. 21:32 Some men have the idea that being hard and tough as a dad 21:36 somehow equates to manliness or it'll turn your son into a man. 21:40 Oh, discipline is necessary, but remember that the words 21:43 "discipline" and "disciple" are very closely related. 21:48 Disciplining your children is merely discipling your children. 21:53 Discipline needs to be redemptive. 21:55 You're preparing your kids for eternity. 21:58 Discipline should lead them closer to you 22:01 and closer to God's ideal for them and closer to God. 22:06 So discipline with love, and don't yell at your kids. 22:11 By the way, of course, kids are going to do stupid stuff. 22:17 They're kids. Their brains haven't fully developed. 22:21 In fact, science says that doesn't happen 22:23 until they're in their 20s. 22:25 Kids are young; 22:26 that's why we call them kids, and we don't call them adults. 22:31 They're immature. 22:32 They're going to make mistakes, so get used to it. 22:36 Now, keep in mind, you choose how you react to your kids. 22:41 They don't force you to do anything. 22:45 Number five: "Be a role model." 22:49 Show your son how a man acts with honesty and responsibility. 22:54 Demonstrate for your daughter the respect that she deserves 22:57 from others. 22:59 Number six: "Be a teacher." 23:01 Life is full of teaching moments. 23:04 Teach your children as they go through life. 23:06 Do it kindly, respectfully, but take advantage 23:09 of the opportunities you get to instruct your children. 23:13 They are precious opportunities. 23:16 Seven: "Eat together as a family." 23:19 Hugely important--and much more difficult 23:22 as society keeps everyone so busy. 23:25 But it's a great time for families to bond and connect. 23:28 You get to listen to your children. 23:30 You'll find out what's going on in their lives. 23:32 It's valuable together time. 23:35 Point number eight: "Read to your children." 23:39 It's impossible to overstate the importance of this. 23:43 You're educating them. 23:44 You're going on adventures with them. 23:46 You're imparting valuable life lessons to them. 23:49 You're giving them a chance to learn good values. 23:51 Read to your children. You just have to. 23:55 But make sure you're reading instructional, 23:58 educational, value-building books to your kids. 24:01 Dispense with the garbage 24:03 and make sure you read the good stuff. 24:07 Now, number nine: "Show affection." 24:10 Even if it doesn't come naturally to you. 24:12 Kids need to know that they're loved, 24:14 and showing your child affection helps your child 24:17 to feel secure and loved and valued. 24:20 Point number 10: "Realize a father's job is never done." 24:25 Your influence and role in their lives 24:27 extends far beyond their childhood years. 24:31 And I'm going to add an 11th point. 24:33 The Department of Health and Human Services 24:35 didn't put this one in their report, and that is, 24:38 pray with your children. 24:40 Have family worship in your home, a family devotional time. 24:44 Read the Bible and pray together with your children. 24:49 Pray for your children and tell them that you're doing so. 24:53 Every family should gather together for family worship 24:56 to focus on the things of heaven 24:58 and to draw together close to God. 25:01 Oh, and point 12: 25:03 Take your children to church. 25:06 Don't send them to church. Take them to church. 25:09 Go with them. Be that example. 25:12 Raise your children to know God, to love Jesus, 25:17 and let them see Jesus in you. 25:20 Incredibly, sadly, the most hated father 25:25 in all of human history surely has to be God. 25:30 The One who created the world, gave life to everyone 25:33 who's ever lived, and yet has been ignored, 25:35 rejected, and even despised 25:37 by the vast majority of people throughout the ages. 25:40 Whether you're a father or a mother, 25:42 whether you're a parent or a child, 25:44 you can bring joy to the heart of God right now 25:48 by responding to His love. 25:50 Allow God to be the God of your life. 25:54 Surrender your life to Him. 25:56 Let Him be loved by you. 25:59 Embrace God and you're embracing life. 26:04 Allow God into your heart today. 26:05 Won't you do that? 26:07 Allow Him to give you eternal life through Jesus His Son. 26:13 >>John: Thank you for remembering that It Is Written 26:15 exists because of the kindness of people just like you. 26:19 To support this international life-changing ministry, 26:22 please call us now at 800-253-3000. 26:26 You can send your tax-deductible gift 26:28 to the address on your screen, 26:29 or you can visit us online at itiswritten.com. 26:33 Thank you for your prayers and for your financial support. 26:36 Our number again is 800-253-3000, 26:40 or you can visit us online at itiswritten.com. 26:44 >>John Bradshaw: Let's pray together now. 26:45 Our Father in heaven, we thank You that You are a good Father. 26:49 And we who are parents need Your grace in raising children, 26:53 that they can grow to know You and love You. 26:56 I pray for mothers. Bless them in their vitally important role. 27:00 And we're thinking especially today of fathers. 27:02 Lord, would You bless the dads and allow them to reflect 27:06 to their children the love that You reflect to us? 27:09 I know many dads, the vast majority of dads, 27:12 would look inwards and say, "I haven't always got it right." 27:16 This is where we pray for Your mercy and Your blessing. 27:19 And don't worry, dad, if you've made some mistakes. 27:21 Who hasn't? 27:22 It's not too late now to turn those over to God and say, 27:24 "Lord, please, help me now to reflect You and demonstrate You 27:30 and model You before my little flock." 27:33 So, Father in heaven, we pray for the dads. 27:35 Bless them all; draw them close; 27:38 let them grow in the grace of Jesus. 27:42 And we pray with grateful thanks, in Jesus' name. 27:45 Amen. 27:46 Thanks so much for joining me. 27:47 Looking forward to seeing you again next time. 27:50 Until then, remember: 27:52 "It is written, 'Man shall not live by bread alone, 27:57 but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.'" 28:01 ♪[dramatic theme music]♪ 28:22 ♪[music ends]♪♪ |
Revised 2021-06-15