Participants:
Series Code: IIWC
Program Code: IIWC201919S
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00:00 >> Welcome and thank you for joining us on
00:02 "It Is Written Canada." Today, we are in front of the 00:04 home of a man here in Pickering, Ontario. 00:07 His name is Vas Pejcinovski. It was one spring day in March 2018. 00:13 It was a very cold and cloudy day. And he was struck 00:17 with a triple tragedy. His wife, Krissy, his youngest daughter, 00:23 by the name of Vanna, and his son, Roy, were murdered. What a horrible, 00:28 horrible tragedy. And how is he supposed to deal with all of that? 00:33 Right after all of this tragedy, he had to deal with his own grief. 00:37 He also had to console his eldest daughter, who is the only surviving family 00:42 member, by the name of Victoria. But he was not alone. He had friends and family 00:48 who were around him -- a community of people who stood by his side to support him. 00:54 >> Besides his family and friends, Vas received incredible support from people that he 00:59 didn't even know at the time of the murder of his family members. 01:04 God started speaking to Vas Pejcinovski and led him to a loving church 01:09 where he was treated with incredible love, support, and kindness. 01:14 Not only did Vas become a born-again baptized Christian, but he somehow managed 01:20 to forgive the accused killer and murderer of his wife and two children. 01:26 >> I have no idea how he did that. How was Vas able to find it 01:30 in his heart to forgive someone who murdered his family and took them away? 01:35 Well, today we're going to let Vas tell his own story. And so come with me inside as 01:41 we talk to Vas Pejcinovski. 01:46 ♪♪ ♪♪ >> It opens your mouth like 02:03 this. >> You just open this. >> Oh. 02:06 ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Indistinct cheering ] 02:24 >> Oi! Go Roy! 02:27 ♪♪ ♪♪ 02:38 >> So, Vas, thank you for inviting us into your home. 02:42 What we're going to talk about is very heart-wrenching. 02:46 And I know from talking to you that this is -- you know, this is something 02:50 that's very personal, and I do respect you, so I don't want to talk, 02:55 you know, about things that might be too sensitive. I want to kind of go back 03:01 in time, like, before you met your wife, before you even had a family, and talk about your 03:08 childhood, talk about what happened in the past. What kind of a person 03:13 were you before this? >> Yeah. Different person from who I am 03:19 today, that's for sure. Great childhood growing up in the city of Toronto, 03:23 Greektown. Happy family. They provided great. 03:26 But living in a city, especially near the downtown core, you do surround yourself 03:32 with, you know, people that are into -- get into some trouble and mischief. 03:38 And as I grew up, I found myself following that path, chasing girls around, 03:44 started to experiment with drugs and drinking, thinking about myself, 03:47 thinking about the next party. So it was -- it was a tough ride. 03:52 Experienced a lot of low points in my life, a lot of times that I really did not like myself the 03:58 next day. >> Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. >> And tell us, Vas, 04:02 did your life change after you married Krissy and had your three 04:07 beautiful children? >> I would say five years... four to five years into our 04:13 marriages where I slowly started leaving my past behind me and becoming a better father 04:20 and husband, the best of my ability at that time. So, yeah, it did change. 04:24 It did take some time, though. There was pretty big hooks sunk into me with the drugs, 04:30 and it was sort of hard to -- to let go of right away. It wasn't immediate. 04:34 It was a slow release, I guess you could say. >> Uh-huh. 04:37 And now you're married and you're moving in a good direction. 04:42 Was there a pivotal time when things really changed for you? >> Yeah. I guess I'll give you 04:47 a little bit more backdrop in our -- in our marriage and who I was at the time. 04:51 So, throughout our marriage, Krissy was a really good woman. But me as a person 04:57 at that point, there was something wrong with me. And it might have been, 05:02 after all the years of what I'd gone through in the sinful living 05:04 and not really fixing anything, not realizing I had to fix anything with my past, 05:09 you know, I began to be a distant husband. She reached out to me 05:14 with a lot of love. There was times where I would -- over the smallest thing, 05:17 I would blow up and I would yell and I would -- words would come out of my mouth 05:21 that were just so hurtful, now that I look back at it. And it didn't even bother me 05:25 at the time. And it was just sort of the person I was. 05:28 But, again, very prideful. In 2014... I became aware that she was 05:38 having an affair. That devastated me. >> I'm sure. 05:41 >> It absolutely devastated me. >> Yeah. >> And I think more because 05:45 my pride and realizing, "How could she even consider another man or look at it? 05:50 Look, I provided a beautiful home. I provide a roof, food on the 05:54 table." And, you know, these silly, prideful, earthly thoughts 05:58 of -- of thinking I was being a good husband or thinking I was being a good father. 06:03 And, really, it was probably the worst four months of my life. The pain, the tears, the hurt, 06:10 the feelings of revenge and, "How am I gonna get back at her? How am I gonna, you know, go 06:16 through that?" I found myself getting in my car at 11:00 at night and driving on 06:23 the highways up until 6:00 in the morning, and just crying, and just trying to -- to get rid 06:28 of the pain that was inside of me. There was a moment... 06:32 I don't remember the exact day, but there was a moment where I'm still struggling with this, 06:37 and -- and I just -- I call it "I heard a voice," but I think it was more, now 06:42 that I look back, it was God speaking to my heart. And the message basically said, 06:47 "Look at yourself. Look into the mirror." >> Yeah. 06:49 >> Mm-hmm. >> You know? "Really look at yourself." 06:52 I started looking back at our marriage, and I started looking back at how I treated her 06:58 and how I treated my kids and how I treated people in general. 07:01 And, you know, she was really trying to make the family unit work, and I pushed her away, and 07:06 I understood that her... her having the affair was a large part of my doing. 07:14 And I remember going to her and sitting her down and telling her how sorry I was, 07:20 how horrible of a husband I was to her, how much she really loved me 07:24 and how much she tried to make the family unit work and that I just pushed her 07:30 away, and I asked her for her forgiveness. I told her I was sorry. 07:35 I had forgiven her by that by that moment in my heart, All the hurt and all the bad 07:42 feelings and evil feelings, revengeful feelings that I had inside of me, the second I 07:47 forgave her, that feeling just lifted, and -- and the feeling of peace and joy came upon me 07:55 that was so powerful, I remember seeing out loud to myself that day, 08:00 "I am never gonna change this feeling. No matter what happens to me in 08:03 my life, I never want to lose this feeling of peace." >> That's incredible. 08:07 >> Yeah. >> Where did you move forward in your relationship 08:10 with Krassimira? >> We had already started the... the process of separation. 08:16 And at that point, even though I'd forgiven, the trust was lost 08:20 in the relationship. But saying that, we started becoming very, very good 08:27 friends. Like, our friendship grew so much stronger after we both 08:32 forgave each other and -- and embraced and hugged at the end. Knowing that we were both 08:37 being open and totally honest to one another, our friendship grew to -- to a place that we've 08:43 never seen before. In that, we realized we had three beautiful children. 08:47 What we both realized was that, "No matter what we do moving forward, 08:52 we have to be on the same page in raising these kids together," even though we lived in separate 08:57 homes, and that, you know, when she needed to discipline the kids and they were over 09:01 here, I followed through with those disciplines, and vice versa. 09:04 Because, in the end, it's all about the children, right? 09:07 And we want to try to guide them in the right path. And that was a big step 09:10 that we both agreed on, and it allowed us to grow in our relationship even further. 09:16 >> So you could still remain friends, even though you were separated from her... 09:19 >> Absolutely. >> ...and you were able to raise those kids, as well, together. 09:24 >> We became on the same page, and we began to laugh together again. 09:27 And that was one of our big strongholds on when we met, was our friendship and our laughter. 09:31 We would laugh about so much, and that came back into our lives after that point. 09:35 So, it did change everything, and it changed me as a person from that day moving forward, 09:40 as well. >> Vas, I think it's such a beautiful gift that you and 09:43 Krissy gave your children -- to be friends. And so, I think it's just 09:47 wonderful that God gave you this gift of forgiveness, not just for you, but for 09:52 Krissy, too, to forgive you. And in doing that, so much healing came about that you were 09:57 able to provide that beautiful gift for your children -- just, you know, to let them 10:02 know, "Mommy and Daddy are okay," and I think it's just wonderful, and so... 10:07 >> The Lord is amazing. 10:10 >> I've known Vas for approximately 30 years now. 10:15 I think he was around 16 years old. 10:18 He was best friends, actually, with my brother-in-law, and they'd hang around 10:20 at my brother-in-law's house... >> Which is my brother. >> ...quite often. 10:23 That was the place where everybody was hanging out. I'd say, when I was about 40, 10:29 40 years old, he was probably 30, 33, I think it was. And he came to me with 10:36 a proposition for business. And at the time, I was working for Bell Canada, and I thought 10:42 about it hard because I had a pretty young family, too, at the time, so it would be a big 10:47 change to kind of transition into your own business, right? I took the chance. 10:51 I took a leave of absence from work, and here we are now, 13, 14 years later 10:59 of being business partners. >> First met Vas when I lived with my brother in our family 11:06 home, and the core group that my brother had still remains to this day the core group. 11:13 When he met with Krissy, that was a beautiful thing. And I'm older, so I was raising 11:17 my family while he was just starting his family. Then, when he propositioned 11:21 Phil, it -- it took him a long time to convince Phil to start their business venture. 11:27 And I'm glad that he did come into our lives, because he did change our lives. 11:32 >> Vas wasn't very religious at all. You know, he -- we never really 11:37 talked about Jesus or God. We never talked about scripture. I would always read my Bible, 11:44 right, from a young age. I think it was -- I was 12 years old when I first came 11:49 to know Christ, right? And three years back, he started asking me -- Vas 11:56 started asking me questions about the Bible. And I got a little curious 12:01 as to why he was asking. And I'd say, "Well, is anything going on?" 12:06 The time with Krissy -- as you know, he probably would've told you -- 12:10 was that they separated. And the reason why, the infidelity. 12:15 And it kind of hit him hard, and he was looking for answers. After weeks of talking about 12:22 scripture, finally, he said, you know, "Do you have a Bible?" And I did. 12:27 I had my personal study Bible that I have, and I gave him that Bible. 12:31 And from there on end, it was... I was amazed at how much he grew in -- in the Lord. 12:40 And how much it eased his heart. >> They amazed me, because Vas had invited us over 12:47 for a barbecue with a bunch of friends, and he said to me, 12:50 "Oh, by the way, Krissy's coming." And I'm like, "Really?" 12:55 And he goes, "Yeah, G, we're co-parenting, and it's beautiful, and we're friends, 13:01 and, you know, we respect each other, and we agree to co-parent." 13:04 And I thought it was -- I was in shock, and I thought it was a beautiful thing, and in walks 13:09 Krissy, her usual smiling self. And I'm like, "You guys are weird." 13:16 Like, "What's going" -- She goes, you know, "We love our children." 13:19 And she goes, "We're gonna co-parent." And I thought that -- To me, 13:23 that was a beautiful thing, and I respected them both, and their children were happy, 13:29 and they saw both their parents together and co-existing, and I thought was beautiful. 13:33 >> And to contrast that, we do have other friends that are going through the same 13:37 situation of them... >> It's horrible. >> ...involving children also, 13:40 and it's horrible. >> Horrible. >> You got to let go of that 13:43 anger. You have to let go of it. You have to be able to forgive. 13:48 Otherwise, it will eat you. ♪♪ It was early Wednesday, 13:56 March 14th of 2018. I get a call from Vasil, and I heard a little -- 14:06 like he was frantic in a sense, that, "Phil," he goes, "I can't get in touch with -- 14:11 with anyone at the house. I can't get in touch with Krissy. 14:14 I can't get in touch with Roy or Venallia." I actually asked him, "Is she 14:18 maybe supposed to be at work?" And he goes, "Well, I called her boss, and she didn't show up." 14:24 So that's what I told him -- I go, "Listen," I go, "I think it's best you call 911. 14:29 Head on up to Krissy's house, and I'll meet you up there also." 14:33 I just...knew, as soon as he was talking like that, what I heard in his voice, 14:37 I just felt that something horrible had happened. >> Vas, I just want to go to 14:44 that -- that fateful Tuesday evening and, really, the Wednesday morning 14:52 when everything unfolded. Do you want to take us through that? 14:56 >> Yeah. Roy was in the middle of the finals, the GTHL finals. 15:05 >> So he was a -- he was a hockey player? >> Yes, he was a hockey player, 15:08 a goalie. Hockey was very strong in his life -- and in all our lives. 15:13 We've all made sacrifices. He did play at a high level. We've played in world 15:16 championships in Italy, we've played in a big tournament when he was 10 years old in 15:21 Edmonton. So, you're all throughout the States and Canada, 15:24 and even Europe through his hockey. So, it was a normal night. 15:29 The game was a late game. I think it finished around 11:00 P.M. 15:33 And we were driving back. You know, he spoke up, and he said, "Dad, 15:37 tomorrow's Wednesday. It's my practice day." His mom was in charge of 15:41 practice day. And he said, you know, "The equipment's in the car." 15:45 He goes, "Why don't you just drop me off at Mom's." And he goes, you know, "This 15:48 way, it will just be easier for her." So we stayed on the highway, 15:51 continued on to Ajax, dropped him off that night, and -- and went home...after. 15:58 And, yeah. Didn't think anything of it at the time. 16:01 >> So you dropped him off at his mom's place? >> Mm-hmm. 16:03 >> And then, the next morning, you went off to work. >> Yes. Yes. 16:07 So, I think another point to add in there was, during the game, while we're at the rink, 16:13 Victoria wanted to sleep over at her friend's. I sent her off in an Uber 16:18 to pick her up from her mom's, and she spent the night at Charlotte's house. 16:22 >> So she wasn't home... >> She was not. >> ...at her mom's house. 16:24 Okay. >> No. Mnh-mnh. >> That's your oldest daughter, 16:26 Victoria? >> That's correct. Yeah. >> Okay. Okay. 16:29 So, now you're -- Krissy was at home with Roy and your youngest daughter, Vanna. 16:36 >> That's right. >> Okay. >> Mm-hmm. 16:38 >> So, you went to work Wednesday morning. >> Yeah. 16:41 So, Victoria started reaching out to me and saying she couldn't get ahold of her mom. 16:45 Her mom was supposed to drive her and Charlotte -- Krissy was supposed her and Charlotte to 16:50 the driving school. And something hit me there. It didn't feel right because 16:53 the one thing with Krissy, she was very responsible and her kids came first in her life. 16:57 Always, always, always. There was never -- Nothing could stand between her and the kids. 17:02 >> So she would answer her phone? >> Absolutely. All the time. 17:05 Like, there was never a question for that when it came to her kids. 17:08 Or if there was a scheduled drive somewhere, or if there was a scheduled pickup somewhere, 17:12 she never missed a beat with things like that. I started reaching out to her, 17:17 and she never answered her phone. And I started reaching out 17:20 to Roy. He didn't answer his phone. Started to reach out to Vanna. 17:24 She did not pick up, either. I felt something was not right, in my gut, and I jumped on the 17:31 highway, and I started driving towards her place. I had called 911 'cause I 17:36 just -- something didn't feel right, and I constantly was calling them, and they're not 17:40 picking it up. Just during that call, something didn't sit right, 17:44 and I just felt something was wrong. And I rushed over to Krissy's 17:49 house... >> Mm-hmm. >> ...at that point. 17:51 >> So, the call -- You mean the call when you called 911? You've had this uncomfortable 17:55 feeling as you were talking to them? >> Yeah. 17:58 I mean, I've called 911 in the past. I've dealt with certain times 18:02 where I've had to speak to a 911 operator, and based off my previous experiences 18:09 talking to the operators, there are certain questions and certain ways they -- they 18:13 speak to you. This call, this operator was not speaking that way. 18:17 It almost felt more compassionate or hard, and it almost seemed like, 18:20 everything I was asking for, it was being done right away. So -- 18:24 >> So she knew. >> She knew. She wasn't letting it out to me 18:27 at that moment, but I think she knew at the time, and that's where I really started getting 18:33 a feeling of dread inside of me. >> So you showed up at the house? 18:36 >> Yeah. Yeah. I showed up at the house, and they were putting tape around 18:41 the house, police were. And I tried to get in. They wouldn't allow me to. 18:49 And I started asking questions, and they would not... they would not give me 18:54 the answers I was looking for. At one point, the ambulance... the ambulance drivers, 19:02 they showed up, and they pulled a woman out of the house on a gurney, 19:06 and they were working on her, and they put her in the ambulance. 19:09 And -- And I couldn't see from where I was. I could not see if it was Vanna 19:13 or Krissy at that time. Constantly talking to the one police officer, 19:17 and I'm begging that police officer, "Just let me know. Is my boy okay? 19:21 Is, you know, my girl okay?" [ Sniffles ] 19:29 And I found out at that moment that there was a deceased male inside, and at that time, 19:35 I knew I was right. >> Mm. >> I still wasn't sure about 19:41 Krissy, and I still wasn't sure about Vanna at that time. But I knew that I lost my boy 19:46 at that moment. I remember...just falling. Just falling and crying. 19:56 Hurt, destroyed. I'd lost my best friend. [ Sniffles ] 20:05 There will never be another day like that, that bad, in my life. There's -- There can't be. 20:11 I lost half -- more than half my family that day. >> When we arrived on -- on site 20:18 at the house there, we saw the yellow tape, all the police. And I just kind of lost it 20:27 'cause I-I knew that...something bad -- It was bad. The police tried to keep me 20:34 back. And I was asking, "Where's Vas?" He was sitting in the back of 20:40 the -- one of the police cruisers with his head down, and he's just... 20:45 he was just in shambles. And I go, "What's going on? Do you know -- Do you know 20:49 what's going on?" "They're gone. They're gone. They're gone." 20:53 It's all he kept telling me. We were both crying, both yelling. 21:00 Trying to make sense of what just happened. Yeah, that was a difficult day. 21:06 A difficult day. Just trying to console him after that, you know, 21:11 I tried to pull myself together. [ Scoffs ] 21:13 From there, they -- one of the officers told us that, one of the females -- they didn't know 21:21 whether it was the mother or daughter -- but one of the females survived and was taken 21:26 to the hospital. So that's when we asked, "Can we be taken there?" 21:30 And, sure enough, you know... they took Vas in the cruiser, and I followed with my son 21:37 to Ajax Hospital. We waited there for a while. We still didn't know whether 21:43 it was Vanna, Venallia, the -- his youngest daughter... >> Or Krissy. 21:47 >> ...or Krissy, his ex-wife. And finally, they said they were transferring -- transferring her 21:54 to Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto, being a trauma center. So, that's when we left 22:02 from there. We went down to Sunnybrook, and that's when we found out 22:07 it was -- it was Venallia, Vanna, his youngest daughter. They came back out again 22:12 and said, no, there was just too much brain damage. There was no activity 22:16 in the brain. So, I guess they had her on life support, 22:20 and we were able to go in, and Vas was there with her. And Victoria ended up 22:25 coming down afterwards, also. Yeah, and a minister did come in for final -- final words and 22:31 prayer. And that's when -- when Vas decided it was time to let her 22:36 go and just -- got the plug. >> We couldn't process what was happening, 22:41 and we were just in shock. It was all... Someone was guiding us, 22:46 because if I think about it now, I just -- I can't. What we went through, I don't 22:52 understand what's happened. And I just -- Someone was guiding us. 22:57 >> You know, in my head, I was -- I was praying, and I was asking God, 23:02 "What -- What's going on? What happened? Why did this happen? 23:06 Lord, give me some answers. Give us -- Give us some help here." 23:11 And in time, He did. For me, I got the feeling that, "It's going to be okay." 23:18 That came upon me. It came over me. And -- And looking at Vas over 23:24 the next few weeks, it was -- you know, I saw his pain, but I also saw a glitter of light 23:33 also, from certain times, the way he would speak, and I knew that, "Okay, 23:41 the Lord is here. He's here with him." >> It was probably very hard 23:49 for you to see Victoria, too, because now she was... She'd lost a brother and a 23:54 sister. >> And her mom. >> And her mother, yeah. 23:57 So... >> [ Sniffles ] Yeah. It -- It was not easy, and... 24:03 [ Stammers ] I mean, you know, with Victoria, it was just the most... 24:07 You know what? [ Sighs ] It was the one strength out of 24:10 that day that I could pull, that I still had Victoria with me. >> Mm-hmm. 24:14 >> That the Lord blessed me with Victoria, that I -- I could still hold her in my arms 24:19 and tell her how much I love her and let her know. Like, it like the one blessing, 24:22 the one silver lining, bright spot in that day, that the Lord still blessed me 24:26 with Victoria. It was so hard. It was so hard to deal with. 24:32 I-I remember just, I-I call it "zombie-like" for the rest of that day. 24:36 I just... >> I'm sure. >> I didn't know. 24:38 I mean, there were still some very difficult moments in that day, moving forward. 24:42 Meeting up with Victoria at the police station and having to let her know 24:45 that her brother was dead, it was not easy. [ Sniffles ] 24:50 Having to rush to Sunnybrook Hospital with the hope, little hope, that they 24:53 brought Vanna's vitals back, but then to learn that she was dead for too long and her brain 24:59 activity was stopped. But having a chance to spend time with her 25:04 in the hospital room, we were there for about five, six hours with her, 25:07 just saying our goodbyes, knowing that, at one point, I was gonna have to -- to pull 25:14 the plug on -- on her life, and... A very difficult day. 25:22 >> Yeah, the most. >> A very difficult day. >> The most difficult, yeah. 25:25 >> I was grieving really hard. I was really grieving. It was just before -- You know, 25:31 getting back to before that, it was close to about a year before the tragedy 25:37 that I found the Lord, and I was growing. I was growing in Him. 25:42 I was learning the Word. >> So you started to read the Bible? 25:45 >> Yeah, I -- In November of 2017, I had finally realized, the blessings that I had in my 25:52 heart and the change in my life and in the person that I am all goes to the glory of Jesus. 25:58 I mean, He was the reason why I was, you know, there. >> Uh-huh. 26:01 >> And I realized it. And I just wanted to find the truth. 26:04 >> Yes. >> I wanted to find the truth. >> So you were searching. 26:07 >> I was searching, and like I did after my -- after my experience of forgiveness with 26:12 Krissy, I went down a road of thinking, was it karma? Was it, you know, a law of 26:17 attraction that I got into? And I realized all -- all those things are so empty. 26:22 There was nothing. There was no foundation. There was no truth there. 26:26 And then, finally, I got turned onto the Lord Jesus Christ, and I started really digging 26:33 and searching for all parts of Christianity. I-I looked at every angle of 26:39 Christianity, and that was my journey. That's where my journey really 26:42 started, and I started going in the knowledge of the Lord. >> I'm sorry we have 26:47 to end this episode, but we will continue again with our next one. 26:51 I would like us to pray as we close off. Let's pray together. 26:56 Father in Heaven, I... You have told us in Your Word that we're in this world 27:03 and we will experience trials and tribulations, we will experience things 27:07 that -- that we could never anticipate. And yet, You will not abandon 27:13 us. You say -- You promise to us that You will never leave us, 27:16 nor forsake us. And I can see that You have done that in Vas' life. 27:22 And I pray, Lord, that You will do that for each one of us, Lord. 27:25 So many of us go through trials, and we -- we get our strength from You, and we thank You for 27:32 hearing and answering our prayers. In Jesus' name. 27:35 >> Amen. >> Amen. >> Amen. 27:37 >> So, friends, thank you for joining us again on "It Is Written Canada." 27:40 And as Vas said, we do not live apart from the Word of God. It is written, as Jesus said, 27:47 "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." 27:57 >> You saw the evil around you. >> Oh, yeah. >> You saw the temptations. 28:00 The devil's not done with us yet. >> We worked so hard on her! 28:09 I said, "God, how could you?" >> He said to me, "Rob, I've forgiven him, 28:17 and I've prayed for him." And I just was quiet. >> That peace comes to you, 28:21 that human comes to you, and that's -- that's the match. That's the power of forgiveness. 28:28 >> I said, "I'm envious of you." I said, "Because, where you are, I want to be." 28:33 >> And we just fell on each other's shoulder, and we 28:36 embraced, and we cried. >> I don't think God was ready 28:40 to let him go. >> He became a part of us, yes. |
Revised 2020-02-12