Participants:
Series Code: IIWC
Program Code: IIWC202016S
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00:00 ♪♪
00:42 >> Hello and welcome to 00:43 It Is Written Canada. 00:45 Today we're gonna be talking 00:46 to Lorna Spencer. 00:48 Lorna is a mother, 00:51 a homemaker, a woman of God, 00:55 a woman with many talents 00:57 including writing and she has 00:59 written a book called, 01:00 I'm Still Standing, she's 01:01 telling her personal story. 01:04 And Lorna's with us today and 01:06 I'm looking at your book here, 01:07 Lorna, and it's an amazing 01:10 title, we've heard those words 01:12 before, but what you're 01:14 standing on there is solid 01:16 rock and you're in the midst 01:17 of an ocean. 01:19 So thank you for joining us 01:20 and thank you for being 01:21 prepared to share your story 01:22 with us today. 01:23 >> Thank you for having me. 01:24 It's an honour to be here and 01:27 most importantly, thanks to 01:29 God for this opportunity and 01:32 to you, the host of 01:33 It Is Written Canada, 01:35 it's an honour to be here. 01:37 >> Well, Lorna, tell us about 01:39 yourself, so tell us who is 01:41 Lorna Spencer? 01:43 >> Lorna Spencer is a 01:45 Seventh-day Adventist 01:47 Christian, a woman who has 01:49 found her worth in Jesus 01:50 Christ and as you've said I am 01:53 a mother of two young-adult 01:54 daughters, I am an author of 01:57 the book, I'm Still Standing, 01:59 I'm an inspirational speaker, 02:02 a mental health advocate, 02:04 and an early childhood 02:05 educator by profession. 02:07 >> That's multiple talents. 02:09 >> Yes, very talented. 02:10 >> And lots of 02:11 responsibilities. 02:12 [Lorna] Thank you. 02:13 >> So, Lorna, can you give us 02:15 a synopsis of your book 02:18 that you wrote? 02:20 >> Yes, the book, 02:22 I'm Still Standing, the title 02:25 came after praying and fasting. 02:29 After my pastor, Dr. Maitland, 02:32 and my best friend, Tana, 02:35 continued to bother me about 02:38 writing a book and having a 02:39 story, Dr. Maitland gave the 02:42 title, "I Survived." 02:45 However, that title didn't 02:46 seem quite fitting. 02:48 And so I prayed about it and 02:51 came up with the title, 02:53 I'm Still Standing. 02:55 And I'm Still Standing is a 02:56 story of Lorne Gregory who was 03:00 a new bride and she was on the 03:03 top of the world after 03:05 getting married. 03:07 But just two weeks after 03:08 marriage, her world came 03:10 crashing down. 03:12 The man that she married 03:14 turned out not to be who he 03:15 claimed to be. 03:17 He was living a double life. 03:21 Very maladaptive kind of 03:24 lifestyle, very outlandish 03:26 kind of lifestyle. 03:28 He had multiple women, 03:30 including a child that I 03:33 didn't know about and after 03:37 finding out the details of his 03:39 sordid affairs-- 03:43 He didn't tell me, by the way. 03:45 I had to investigate him to 03:48 dig to the bottom of 03:49 the truth. 03:51 It came to the point where I 03:53 had to make a decision between 03:54 the man that I love 03:56 or loving myself. 03:58 I chose to love myself and so 04:01 I had to end my marriage. 04:04 Along the way there were, 04:07 you know, heartbreak, there 04:08 was a pregnancy that came 04:11 about because of a violation 04:16 from my husband and I was 04:19 pregnant with twins and I 04:21 wasn't excited about being 04:24 pregnant after all, you know, 04:27 how it happened and 04:31 I didn't know if I could love, 04:33 you know, the child, at that 04:34 time I didn't know 04:36 it was twins. 04:37 And so I had to praise God, 04:40 you know, to ask Him to help 04:42 me to accept my situation and 04:45 the fact that I was going to 04:47 be a mother again. 04:49 And so I fell in love with 04:50 these babies, but three months 04:53 after that I had a miscarriage 04:56 and that sent me into the 04:58 abyss of darkness. 05:00 I had given up the will to 05:02 live, I felt as though all 05:05 hope was gone and prayer was 05:08 my weapon. 05:10 Prayer was the key to finding 05:12 my way back to reality. 05:15 And so that's the synopsis of 05:18 I'm Still Standing. 05:20 >> You went through quite a 05:21 lot, I mean this is very, very 05:24 devastating, everything you 05:25 went through. 05:27 The title, I'm Still Standing, 05:30 obviously saying this has not 05:32 destroyed you... 05:34 >> That's right. 05:35 >> At times did it feel 05:36 like that? 05:37 >> Oh, absolutely. 05:38 There were times when I felt 05:40 defeated, I was perplexed, 05:43 I felt as though I was 05:45 destroyed and-- 05:47 because my life was so wrapped 05:49 up and tied up in Jones, 05:52 you know, and wanting to be 05:54 loved and wanting to be happy. 05:58 I, you know, when my world 06:02 fell apart, it hit me hard. 06:04 But the good thing about it is 06:06 that I knew Christ. 06:08 I had a relationship with 06:10 Jesus Christ and although it 06:13 was difficult and challenging 06:15 and overwhelming, I still had 06:17 a glimpse of hope and I prayed 06:22 like Hannah and Rachel 06:24 and Naomi. 06:26 Prayer became my way of life. 06:29 And so although it was hard, 06:33 prayer helped me to live. 06:36 Prayer kept me standing. 06:39 >> You know, Lorna, I read 06:41 your book and there were many 06:43 times that I had to put the 06:46 book down and I'm like, 06:48 "I need to finish this book," 06:50 "but I just can't read" 06:51 "any more." 06:52 >> Oh dear! 06:53 [René] I had to put it down a 06:54 little bit, but the thing that 06:57 really stood out to me was the 07:00 way that you had just 07:03 mentioned now, that you just 07:05 hung onto Jesus right through 07:07 all of this. 07:09 I was like, "This is" 07:10 "incredible, it's such an" 07:12 "inspiration," because you 07:14 did, you prayed and you didn't 07:16 put God aside. 07:18 [Lorna] No. 07:19 >> You-- like, He was... 07:20 He was really your life line. 07:22 [Lorna] My anchor, yes. 07:23 [René] And your anchor, as you 07:24 were going through all of 07:26 this, you know, and I think 07:27 for me, that was very 07:29 encouraging because I would 07:30 read and would like, "How is" 07:32 "she going through this?" 07:33 Like, you know, how can 07:35 someone live a double life and 07:37 be such a good con artist? 07:39 [Lorna] Mmhmm! 07:40 [René] And you were just, you 07:42 know, and then I was like, 07:43 "OK, I need to finish it," 07:44 but I was so angry and so 07:47 upset, you know, but then I 07:49 need to finish it, but the 07:51 thing that was really 07:53 inspirational was that, like 07:55 you said, Jesus was your 07:57 anchor and He helped you to go 08:00 through this and because of 08:01 Him you're still standing. 08:02 >> I am, I am, yes. 08:04 And it's just a testament of 08:08 God's faithfulness. 08:10 My testimony, my story is a 08:12 testament of God's 08:14 faithfulness and although it 08:18 was difficult for me to be 08:20 transparent and put myself out 08:22 there, you know, knowing that 08:25 not everyone will get it 08:27 because I have been 08:28 scrutinized and criticized 08:32 so I would be foolish to think 08:34 that everyone would be 08:36 receptive of my story. 08:38 However, my message is for 08:42 hope because I know what it's 08:44 like to feel hopeless, 08:46 I know what it's like to 08:48 suffer in silence and I want 08:51 people to know that with God 08:53 they can overcome their 08:56 circumstances, only with God. 08:59 And so it's important for them 09:01 to hold on to Christ and, 09:05 you know, don't play church. 09:08 If I was playing church, 09:10 everything that I went 09:11 through, I don't think I would 09:13 still be in the church because 09:15 many people have gone through 09:18 challenging circumstances and 09:21 they become angry at God. 09:24 They turn their back on Him. 09:27 I held onto Him even with a 09:31 more assuring grasp than ever 09:34 before, a stronger grasp 09:37 knowing that Christ was the 09:39 only one who could help me get 09:42 through and come out 09:44 a better person. 09:46 >> So was it difficult to 09:47 share your story? 09:49 Did you find yourself going 09:50 through times of crying and 09:52 emotional-- you know, how did 09:56 you deal with that? Yeah. 09:57 [Lorna] Oh, yes. [laughs] 09:58 It was very difficult. 10:01 Writing I'm Still Standing 10:03 is how I gained victory over 10:06 my brokenness, is how I 10:08 got my healing. 10:11 First I thought that I was 10:13 healed, you know, like six, 10:15 ten months after my life came 10:18 crashing down and I thought I 10:20 had forgiven Jones for the 10:22 things that he had done and 10:24 then when I took the challenge 10:26 to write the book and every 10:28 time, you know, I would sit in 10:30 my chair to pen my thoughts, 10:34 tears would begin to stream 10:36 down my cheeks and I couldn't 10:39 understand what was happening 10:41 at the time because here I am, 10:44 I thought I was OK, you know, 10:46 but I had gotten over my 10:48 bitterness and my anger, 10:51 but here I was, emotional, 10:54 falling apart, beside myself. 10:57 I cried so much to the point 10:58 where I felt as if my brain 11:01 was gonna explode and then 11:04 there were times that I had to 11:07 self-talk, you know, to calm 11:09 myself down and to remind 11:11 myself of the brain condition 11:14 that I have because the more 11:17 emotional I get is the more 11:20 intense the pain in 11:22 my head becomes. 11:24 And so it was quite difficult. 11:28 Even being transparent, 11:30 you know, was hard. 11:32 But I knew that if I wanted to 11:35 help people that I needed to 11:38 be as transparent as I 11:39 could be. 11:41 >> So, Lorna, you trusted this 11:43 man so much. 11:45 You gave him your heart, 11:46 you married him. 11:48 How did it go from trusting 11:50 him to saying, "Wait, I can't" 11:52 "trust this man anymore?" 11:53 What were the kind of steps 11:55 along the way? 11:56 'Cause it didn't just 11:57 happen overnight. 11:59 >> I went from not trusting-- 12:03 from loving Jones to being... 12:08 mistrusting of him based on 12:11 the fact that after getting 12:14 married he did not move into 12:17 our home, 12:18 our matrimonial home. 12:19 [Mike] So he was living 12:20 somewhere else? 12:20 >> He was living 12:22 somewhere else. 12:23 He was sleeping out at least 12:25 three nights per week. 12:28 The only time that I would see 12:30 him was on Saturday. 12:32 He would come on Friday night 12:34 to make himself available to 12:35 go to church on Saturday. 12:38 And then after church we would 12:41 interact, fellowship with my 12:43 friends and worship and have 12:45 lunch together and then 12:47 Saturday evening he'd 12:48 be gone again. 12:50 And it-- things didn't add up 12:54 in my brain. 12:55 There were, you know, things 12:57 replaying and I was very 12:59 troubled, it's my-- 13:01 >> So you asked him questions? 13:03 >> I asked him questions, but 13:04 he was not being forthcoming. 13:06 He was like a log, I could get 13:08 nothing out of him. 13:10 And so I prayed about it. 13:13 I fasted and I asked God-- 13:15 I mean God knew how troubled 13:17 and disturbed that I was and 13:19 that I needed answers. 13:21 I asked God for guidance and 13:22 then it hit me: 13:25 Hire a private investigator. 13:29 And I don't know where I came 13:30 up with that idea and I could 13:33 only say God gave me the idea 13:35 and it was the only way 13:37 for me to get the answers 13:38 that I needed. 13:40 And so he followed Jones for 13:42 four days. 13:44 He followed him at his 13:47 workplace and from his 13:50 workplace to an apartment and 13:56 then finally the final stop 13:58 that Jones made was at another 14:00 apartment where he parked 14:02 underground and came up from 14:07 underground and the only way 14:10 to get into the building, 14:11 you must have access so he 14:13 must have had a fob of some 14:15 sort to unlock the doors. 14:17 And so the pictures and the 14:21 video showed Jones going into 14:24 the elevator, going up to an 14:25 apartment and all of this 14:28 information was being fed to 14:30 me by the private investigator 14:34 and so I realized, "Hmm," 14:37 "something is not right here." 14:39 You know, and so there wasn't 14:41 anything concrete to go to 14:43 Jones with and so I told the 14:46 private investigator to keep 14:48 searching, to keep 14:49 following him. 14:51 And then finally on day four, 14:54 Jones went back to this 14:55 apartment where he walked out 14:58 with a child in his arms and 15:01 from that apartment, which 15:03 happens to be a daycare by the 15:05 way, he picked up his son from 15:06 daycare and now went to the 15:09 second apartment which is 15:10 where he resides with the 15:13 mother of his child. 15:15 So all the times Jones was 15:18 missing from my home during 15:20 the week, he was at home 15:22 with his-- 15:24 >> With another woman. 15:25 >> With another woman and a 15:26 son, yes. 15:28 >> And when you did ask him 15:30 and you started asking 15:31 questions, he said that he had 15:33 another job. 15:34 [Lorna] He said he had-- 15:35 [René] And so he answered 15:37 obviously dishonestly, right? 15:38 [Lorna] Yes, yes. 15:39 >> And so there would be 15:41 another reason why you 15:42 couldn't trust him. 15:44 >> Absolutely, absolutely. 15:46 I mean, Jones, he's always 15:50 been very private and 15:52 protective of his things, but 15:54 when he wasn't, you know, 15:58 around much I find out that he 16:01 was around less after marriage 16:04 than when we were courting. 16:06 And all of those red flags 16:08 just didn't add up and so I 16:10 felt that I needed to 16:12 get answers. 16:14 But the answers that I got 16:18 were shocking. 16:19 I was not prepared to have 16:22 found out the things that I 16:25 had discovered. 16:27 >> So you are in a place where 16:31 it's just like 16:33 pretty much a nightmare. 16:35 [Lorna] Yes. 16:36 >> And you know that you can't 16:37 trust this man. 16:38 You called him "Jones," 16:40 that's not his real name. 16:41 [Lorna] That's right. 16:42 [Mike] It's a pseudonym to 16:43 protect him. 16:44 [Lorna] Yes, yes. 16:45 [Mike] And so he's doing all 16:47 these things. 16:49 Did you get help from 16:51 someone else? 16:53 >> My pastor, Dr. Maitland, 16:56 was very supportive. 16:59 He was the pastor that 17:02 officiated our marriage. 17:05 He counselled us for months. 17:09 All through our counselling, 17:11 I mean, Jones said all the 17:12 right things, I mean, you know, 17:14 he had won everybody over. 17:17 He played his role very well. 17:21 And as I said in the book, 17:23 if he was to win, you know, 17:25 if he had-- 17:28 if he was nominated because of 17:29 his acting skills he would win 17:33 the Oscar, and the Emmy and... 17:37 But Pastor Maitland was there 17:39 to support me and guide me and 17:44 also my best friend who I 17:46 refer to as "Tango" in the 17:48 book, she was very supportive 17:50 as well. 17:52 She carried my pain, 17:54 she carried my burden. 17:57 God is such and awesome God 18:00 because He knew I couldn't 18:02 carry this burden and 18:04 this pain. 18:05 If I had to carry the full 18:08 effect of the pain that was 18:10 inflicted on me, I don't think 18:13 I would be here right now. 18:15 But my best friend carried my 18:18 pain, she felt my pain. 18:20 There were times when at the 18:22 beginning when my world came 18:25 crashing down, I didn't shed a 18:29 tear, I didn't cry. 18:32 But my best friend cried for 18:34 me and that just goes to show 18:39 how God knows best and that He 18:41 works in such awesome ways. 18:45 You know, so I had the support 18:46 of my best friend and 18:49 my pastor. 18:50 My daughters, of course, they 18:52 were supportive, you know, as 18:54 supportive as they could be. 18:57 My mom who was a praying woman 19:00 of God, I knew she was 19:02 praying for me. 19:03 My adopted mom who is my best 19:05 friend's mom is also a prayer 19:08 warrior and I knew that there 19:11 were people who loved me who 19:13 were praying for me, yes. 19:26 >> In the book, I am 19:27 Pastor Moore. 19:29 I am the one who did the 19:30 counselling, pre-marital 19:32 counselling, did the wedding, 19:35 did baptism, did follow-up 19:38 after the wedding, and tried 19:41 to mend what was broken. 19:43 Part of Lorna's transparency 19:45 that strikes me was the 19:48 motivation that she received 19:50 from what was not happening. 19:53 She had married a man who was 19:55 anything but transparent and 19:57 he was hiding everything, 19:59 everything was undercover. 20:01 This man had a mistress who 20:03 had a child for him, 14 months 20:06 old that he was covering up so 20:09 I could see some of that come 20:11 out in Lorna saying, "Mm-mm," 20:13 "I cannot cover up the mess," 20:18 "but I'll be transparent," 20:20 "let the world know who I am" 20:21 "and what's happening to me" 20:23 "so that in order to receive" 20:26 "help, that help can only" 20:27 "come if God and the world" 20:30 "knows what I'm" 20:31 "going through." 20:33 >> In the book I'm "Tango," 20:38 I'm Lorna's best friend. 20:40 I chose that name because it 20:44 meant "Tana on the go" 20:47 and I'm always on the go. 20:49 Being transparent was so 20:53 important because it allowed 20:55 others to open their own self. 21:00 A lot of people are becoming 21:01 like prisoners within 21:04 themselves because they're in 21:05 so much pain. 21:08 They're walking around... 21:12 with a mask... 21:15 hiding behind 21:16 their shame, their hurt, 21:19 their pain, their rejection. 21:34 Not until you remove the mask 21:41 will you be able to 21:43 be true to yourself 21:46 and to be true to God. 21:50 >> In the book, Lorna was 21:52 incredibly transparent and I 21:55 think that as she journeyed 21:57 with God through this 21:58 experience He encouraged her 22:02 to be transparent for 22:03 her healing. 22:06 As Lorna was writing and was 22:10 being transparent she had to 22:13 face certain things 22:15 about herself. 22:18 And it's in facing those 22:19 things that I believe God 22:22 was bringing on the 22:24 transformation. 22:27 Transparency 22:29 is a part of healing. 22:34 >> So, Lorna, you talked about 22:36 the word, "intimacy," and I 22:37 always think of the word, 22:39 "intimacy," as "into me see" 22:41 and the only one who can allow 22:42 anyone to see into me is me. 22:45 And so you're opening your 22:46 heart to God and you're 22:48 allowing Him to see into you 22:50 and He speaks to you through 22:51 His word and you get to know 22:52 Him through His word. 22:54 So is there a Bible text that 22:57 speaks to you? 22:58 I mean, there are many, 22:59 I'm sure. 23:01 Is there one specifically that 23:02 you can share with us? 23:04 >> Yes, there is. 23:06 Jeremiah 29, verse 11 is my 23:11 favourite Bible text and I've 23:14 quoted it several times 23:16 in the book... 23:25 I know that I can trust in 23:27 God's promises because His 23:30 promises are true. 23:32 God is faithful and is true to 23:34 His words and therefore I need 23:37 not fear, but just to trust 23:39 Him, come what may. 23:41 He's gifted me with two 23:42 priceless gifts. 23:45 You know, there are things 23:46 that money can buy, but it is 23:48 true that money cannot buy joy 23:51 and money cannot buy peace 23:53 and these are gifts that God 23:55 has gifted me and I would not 23:59 trade them for the world, 24:00 you know? 24:01 For everything that I've been 24:03 through, I've learned to 24:06 appreciate the peace that God 24:09 has given to me. 24:10 That peace which passeth all 24:13 understanding and no matter 24:16 what you're going through, 24:19 this is my encouragement to 24:20 you, just trust God, hold onto 24:22 Him, don't let go, you know, 24:24 He will help you to get over 24:26 on the other side. 24:28 And trust in Jeremiah 29:11 24:30 that God's promise is to 24:32 prosper you. 24:34 >> So you have gone from not 24:37 being able to talk about it to 24:39 writing it, now you're talking 24:41 about it and as you said, 24:43 you're inspiring others with 24:44 it and so as we close off our 24:47 program today, I wonder, 24:48 Lorna, if you could have a 24:50 word of prayer for us? 24:51 >> Absolutely, 24:52 I would love to. 24:55 Our Father Who art in heaven, 24:57 hallowed be Thy Holy and 24:59 Thy powerful name. 25:01 Lord, we are so grateful for 25:03 Your love. 25:05 In spite of the challenges 25:06 that we face, we know that we 25:08 can look to You for help, 25:10 we know that we can come to 25:11 You for help. 25:13 You not just care about the 25:17 big things, You care about the 25:19 small things as well. 25:21 You care about everything 25:24 that concerns us. 25:25 And, Lord, as I've shared my 25:28 story today, I pray dear God 25:32 that it will be a blessing to 25:34 others and that You will get 25:36 the glory, the honour, and the 25:38 praise, that lives will be 25:40 inspired and transformed, 25:43 that others will know of Your 25:46 faithfulness, to know that 25:48 they can trust You 25:49 implicitly. 25:51 And, Lord, we thank you for 25:52 the victories, we also thank 25:54 You for the tests, Lord, 25:56 because if there are no tests, 25:58 there will be no testimony. 26:01 So we just ask that You'd give 26:02 us the strength and the 26:04 courage to continue to press 26:07 forward knowing that You will 26:10 keep us standing. 26:11 In Jesus's name I pray, amen. 26:13 >> Amen. 26:15 Lorna, thank you very much for 26:16 your wonderful prayer. 26:17 Thank you for being vulnerable 26:19 enough to share your story, 26:21 to write it so that others can 26:23 be blessed by it and by coming 26:25 in and sharing with us today 26:26 here on It Is Written Canada. 26:28 >> Thank you so much. 26:29 God bless you. 26:33 >> Friends, we'd like to 26:34 invite you to follow us on 26:36 Instagram and Facebook and 26:38 subscribe to our YouTube 26:39 channel and listen to our 26:41 Podcasts and if you go to our 26:44 webpage, you will see our 26:46 latest programs which include 26:48 exercise workouts and 26:50 healthy-eating videos 26:53 entitled, Experiencing Life. 26:55 And you can also listen to our 26:57 spiritual messages entitled, 26:59 Daily Living. 27:01 [Mike] They are all there, free 27:02 for you to watch whenever you 27:04 choose because we want you to 27:05 experience the truth that is 27:07 found in the words of Jesus 27:09 when He says, "It is written," 27:11 "man shall not live by bread" 27:13 "alone, but by every word" 27:15 "that proceeds out of the" 27:16 "mouth of God." 27:19 >> Next on 27:21 It Is Written Canada... 27:23 [Pastor Maitland] A survivor 27:24 is one who lives 27:25 after an ordeal. 27:27 He had gone to the house, 27:29 he had forced himself on her 27:30 and he had raped her. 27:32 And she saw all the weapons 27:33 that the Devil forged and she 27:35 said, "No, by the help of God" 27:38 "they will not prosper." 27:39 >> Yes, I find that sometimes 27:41 when red flags come up we try 27:43 to change it to a green flag. 27:45 >> Definitely it's never too 27:46 late to make the changes and 27:48 go for what you really do 27:48 want in life. 27:50 You should never just accept 27:51 things that don't truly make 27:52 you happy and you should never 27:53 trick yourself into thinking 27:55 that you are happy 27:56 when you're not. 27:58 >> It's powerful 28:01 because we've all had our 28:02 moments of brokenness. 28:05 >> She's not walking alone 28:06 anymore, she's walking 28:07 with God. 28:09 Through earth's storms, He's 28:10 in there with her and that is 28:12 why she's now changed. 28:15 ♪♪ |
Revised 2021-01-14