Participants:
Series Code: IIWC
Program Code: IIWC202017S
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00:41 >> Hello and welcome to
00:43 It Is Written Canada. 00:44 Today we're gonna be talking 00:46 to Lorna Spencer. 00:48 Lorna is a mother, 00:50 a homemaker, a woman of God, 00:54 a woman with many talents 00:56 including writing and she has 00:58 written a book called, 00:59 I'm Still Standing, she's 01:01 telling her personal story. 01:03 And Lorna's with us today and 01:05 I'm looking at your book here, 01:07 Lorna, and it's an amazing 01:10 title, we've heard those words 01:12 before, but what you're 01:13 standing on there is solid 01:15 rock and you're in the midst 01:17 of an ocean. 01:18 So thank you for joining us 01:19 and thank you for being 01:20 prepared to share your story 01:21 with us today. 01:22 >> Thank you for having me. 01:24 It's an honour to be here. 01:26 >> Well, Lorna, tell us about 01:27 yourself, so tell us who is 01:29 Lorna Spencer? 01:32 >> Lorna Spencer is a 01:34 Seventh-day Adventist 01:35 Christian, a woman who has 01:37 found her worth in Jesus 01:39 Christ and as you've said I am 01:41 a mother of two young-adult 01:43 daughters, I am an author of 01:45 the book, I'm Still Standing, 01:48 a mental health advocate, 01:50 and an early childhood 01:51 educator by profession. 01:53 >> That's multiple talents. 01:55 >> Yes, very talented. 01:56 >> And lots of 01:57 responsibilities. 01:58 [Lorna] Thank you. 01:59 >> So, Lorna, can you give us 02:02 a synopsis of your book 02:04 that you wrote? 02:06 >> After my pastor, 02:08 Dr. Maitland, and my best 02:10 friend, Tana, continued to 02:13 bother me about writing a book 02:16 and having a story. 02:18 Dr. Maitland gave the title, 02:20 "I Survived." 02:22 However, that title didn't 02:23 seem quite fitting. 02:26 And so I prayed about it and 02:29 came up with the title, 02:30 I'm Still Standing. 02:32 And I'm Still Standing is a 02:33 story of Lorne Gregory who was 02:37 a new bride and she was on the 02:40 top of the world after 02:42 getting married. 02:44 But just two weeks after 02:45 marriage, her world came 02:47 crashing down. 02:49 The man that she married 02:51 turned out not to be who he 02:52 claimed to be. 02:54 He was living a double life. 02:58 Very maladaptive kind of 03:01 lifestyle, very outlandish 03:04 kind of lifestyle. 03:05 He had multiple women, 03:08 including a child that I 03:10 didn't know about and after 03:14 finding out the details of his 03:16 sordid affairs-- 03:20 He didn't tell me, by the way. 03:22 I had to investigate him to 03:25 dig to the bottom of 03:26 the truth. 03:29 >> My sister and I are very 03:30 close, I feel like we do have 03:31 a very close relationship. 03:33 I feel like we do butt heads a 03:34 lot, of course, we're family, 03:36 families do that, but at the 03:38 end of the day we will always, 03:39 always love each other. 03:40 We always do have that 03:41 communication, we basically 03:42 feed off of each other. 03:44 If one is down of course we'll 03:46 try and bring the other one up 03:48 and, yeah, just basically 03:50 again that communication, we 03:51 are able to talk things 03:53 through, we're able to really 03:54 get to the bottom of each 03:56 other and just 03:56 understand each other. 03:58 >> I feel my mother's 03:59 situation impacted my life in 04:00 a number of different ways. 04:02 I would say the biggest impact 04:05 that it did have on my life 04:06 is just being able to learn 04:07 from her experiences. 04:10 Just taking exactly what she 04:12 went through and just applying 04:13 it to my own relationships and 04:15 friendships. 04:17 People can be very deceitful 04:18 in your life. 04:20 Obviously my mother was 04:22 deceived, she wasn't able to 04:24 see Jones's true colours until 04:25 later on down the road which 04:28 is what I was able to take and 04:30 just apply because I was able 04:32 to just study people more in 04:35 my life, not let them in as 04:37 easily and really just get to 04:41 know their true intentions of 04:41 why they maybe want to be 04:43 around me or 04:45 just a part of my life. 04:47 And then also I would say 04:51 just the stability aspect of 04:52 it, seeing the commitment, 04:55 seeing my mother and Jones in 04:57 this commitment, but then not 04:58 seeing him around very often. 05:01 It was very misleading for me 05:02 as a young girl, just not 05:04 being able to see that 05:05 stability in their 05:07 relationship so it was really 05:09 just misleading and confusing 05:11 for me as-- watching it, 05:12 growing up. 05:14 >> What I've learned is that 05:16 it's never our fault. 05:18 You know, we think that it's 05:19 one thing and for whatever 05:22 reason, if we're forcing it 05:24 then it takes a different 05:25 direction. 05:27 You must always trust 05:28 your intuition. 05:30 I do not feel like there was a 05:31 balance in the relationship, 05:33 I do 100% feel like my mother 05:34 was the bread-winner, she had 05:38 the pants on, you know... 05:41 She was doing it all, 05:43 honestly, like a Superwoman 05:45 and Superman and effortlessly. 05:49 She would never question it, 05:51 that's the thing. 05:52 This was just my mother, 05:53 right? So... 05:54 Unfortunately, some people 05:55 prey on that, right? 05:57 They see the good in somebody 05:59 and they just keep taking, 06:01 right, and that's when we need 06:03 to take a step back to realize, 06:05 like, "Wait a second," like, 06:08 "I really respect myself," 06:09 "but this person doesn't" 06:10 "respect me as much so" 06:13 "something needs to change" 06:14 "here," right? 06:15 Of course some things get 06:16 too far gone and it's 06:17 easy to stay. 06:19 We get comfortable and 06:20 complacent, but we really need 06:22 to jump on those signs right 06:23 when we see them. 06:24 We can't keep lying to 06:26 ourselves, that's the number 06:27 one thing, just being honest 06:29 with yourself. 06:30 I find that sometimes when red 06:32 flags come up, we try to 06:34 change it to a green flag. 06:36 Right? Because that's just our 06:38 level of perception. 06:42 What-- The way that they're 06:43 treating us, we may never do 06:44 to them or to somebody else so 06:46 sometimes we just can't 06:47 comprehend that it's a red 06:48 flag or that it's even 06:50 happening the way that 06:51 it is, right? 06:52 So we just allow it to happen 06:55 because we think, "Maybe it" 06:57 "was just a mistake," 06:58 "they apologized," 06:59 "it was a mistake." 07:01 "It's OK moving forward," 07:02 right, but when it becomes 07:04 repetitive and it's consistent 07:06 then that's when we need to 07:08 realize that, I mean, this is 07:10 not just a red flag, like, 07:12 this is who they are as a 07:13 person, right? 07:15 And to fight and flight, 07:17 really, flight would be it. 07:20 >> Which is why it is so 07:21 important to really just 07:23 notice those patterns in 07:25 people and just when they say 07:27 that it's a mistake, when they 07:28 say that changes are gonna 07:29 happen and their actions 07:30 aren't matching their words 07:32 then it's really important to 07:33 just realize exactly what's 07:34 going on and notice those 07:37 exact patterns so that you can 07:39 strive away from them. 07:42 >> In the book, I am 07:43 Pastor Moore. 07:45 I am the one who did the 07:47 counselling, pre-marital 07:48 counselling, did the wedding, 07:50 did baptism, did follow-up 07:54 after the wedding and tried to 07:57 mend what was broken. 07:59 Part of Lorna's transparency 08:01 that strikes me was the 08:04 motivation that she received 08:07 from what was not happening. 08:09 She had married a man who was 08:11 anything but transparent and 08:13 he was hiding everything, 08:15 everything was undercover. 08:18 This man had a mistress who 08:20 had a child for him, 14 months 08:22 old that he was covering up so 08:25 I could see some of that come 08:27 out in Lorna saying, "Mm-mm," 08:29 "I cannot cover up the mess," 08:34 "but I'll be transparent," 08:36 "let the world know who I am" 08:37 "and what's happening to me" 08:39 "so that in order to receive" 08:41 "help, that help can only" 08:44 "come if God and the world" 08:46 "knows what I'm" 08:47 "going through." 08:49 >> In the book I'm "Tango," 08:54 I'm Lorna's best friend. 08:56 I chose that name because it 09:00 meant "Tana on the go" 09:03 and I'm always on the go. 09:06 Being transparent was so 09:09 important because it allowed 09:11 others to open their own self. 09:16 A lot of people are becoming 09:18 like prisoners within 09:20 themselves because they're in 09:21 so much pain. 09:24 They're walking around... 09:28 with a mask, hiding behind 09:32 their shame, their hurt, 09:35 their pain, their rejection. 09:51 Not until you remove the mask 09:57 will you be able to 09:59 be true to yourself 10:02 and to be true to God. 10:06 >> In the book, Lorna was 10:08 incredibly transparent and I 10:11 think that as she journeyed 10:13 with God through this 10:14 experience He encouraged her 10:18 to be transparent for 10:19 her healing. 10:22 As Lorna was writing and was 10:26 being transparent she had to 10:29 face certain things 10:31 about herself. 10:34 And it's in facing those 10:35 things that I believe God 10:38 was bringing on the 10:41 transformation. 10:43 Transparency 10:45 is a part of healing. 10:49 >> Along the way there were, 10:52 you know, heartbreak, there 10:54 was a pregnancy that came 10:57 about because of a violation 11:02 from my husband and I was 11:04 pregnant with twins and I 11:07 wasn't excited about being 11:09 pregnant after all, you know, 11:13 how it happened and I didn't 11:17 know if I could love, 11:19 you know, the child, at that 11:20 time I didn't know 11:21 it was twins. 11:23 And so I had to pray to God, 11:26 you know, to ask Him to help 11:28 me to accept my situation and 11:31 the fact that I was going to 11:33 be a mother again. 11:34 And so I fell in love with 11:36 these babies, but three months 11:38 after that I had a miscarriage 11:41 and that sent me into the 11:44 abyss of darkness. 11:46 I had given up the will to 11:47 live, I felt as though all 11:51 hope was gone and prayer was 11:54 my weapon. 11:55 Prayer was the key to finding 11:58 my way back to reality. 12:00 And so that's the synopsis of 12:03 I'm Still Standing. 12:05 >> You went through quite a 12:07 lot, I mean this is very, very 12:10 devastating, everything you 12:11 went through. 12:13 The title, I'm Still Standing, 12:15 obviously saying this has not 12:18 destroyed you... 12:19 >> That's right. 12:21 >> At times did it feel 12:21 like that? 12:23 >> Oh, absolutely. 12:24 There were times when I felt 12:26 defeated, I was perplexed, 12:28 I felt as though I was 12:30 destroyed and-- 12:33 because my life was so wrapped 12:35 up and tied up in Jones, 12:38 you know, and wanting to be 12:40 loved and wanting to be happy. 12:43 I, you know, when my world 12:47 fell apart, it hit me hard. 12:50 But the good thing about it is 12:52 that I knew Christ. 12:54 I had a relationship with 12:56 Jesus Christ and although it 12:58 was difficult and challenging 13:00 and overwhelming, I still had 13:03 a glimpse of hope and I prayed 13:08 like Hannah and Rachel 13:10 and Naomi. 13:11 Prayer became my way of life. 13:15 And so although it was hard, 13:19 prayer helped me to live. 13:22 Prayer kept me standing. 13:25 >> You know, Lorna, I read 13:27 your book and there were many 13:29 times that I had to put the 13:31 book down and I'm like, 13:34 "I need to finish this book," 13:35 "but I just can't read" 13:36 "any more." 13:37 >> Oh dear! 13:39 [René] I had to put it down a 13:40 little bit, but the thing that 13:43 really stood out to me was the 13:46 way that you had just 13:49 mentioned now, that you just 13:51 hung onto Jesus right through 13:53 all of this. 13:54 I was like, "This is" 13:56 "incredible, it's such an" 13:58 "inspiration," because you 13:59 did, you prayed and you didn't 14:02 put God aside. 14:03 [Lorna] No. 14:04 >> You-- like, He was... 14:06 He was really your life line. 14:08 >> My anchor, yes. 14:09 >> And your anchor, as you 14:10 were going through all of 14:12 this, you know, and I think 14:13 for me, that was very 14:15 encouraging because I would 14:16 read and would like, "How is" 14:18 "she going through this?" 14:19 Like, you know, how can 14:21 someone live a double life and 14:23 be such a good con artist? 14:25 [Lorna] Mmhmm! 14:26 >> And you were just, 14:27 you know, and then I was like, 14:29 "OK, I need to finish it," 14:30 but I was so angry and so 14:33 upset, you know, but then I 14:35 need to finish it, but the 14:37 thing that was really 14:39 inspirational was that, like 14:40 you said, Jesus was your 14:42 anchor and He helped you to go 14:45 through this and because of 14:47 Him you're still standing. 14:48 >> I am, I am, yes. 14:50 And although it was difficult 14:53 for me to be transparent and 14:56 put myself out there, 14:57 you know, knowing that not 14:59 everyone will get it because 15:02 I have been scrutinized 15:03 and criticized 15:07 so I would be foolish to think 15:09 that everyone would be 15:10 receptive of my story. 15:12 However, my message is for 15:16 hope because I know what it's 15:19 like to feel hopeless, 15:21 I know what it's like to 15:22 suffer in silence and I want 15:25 people to know that with God 15:28 they can overcome their 15:30 circumstances, only with God. 15:33 And so it's important for them 15:35 to hold on to Christ. 15:39 >> So as I was reading the 15:41 book, I'm Still Standing, 15:44 there were some themes that 15:46 really resonated with me. 15:49 One of them was this stark 15:51 contrast between brokenness 15:53 and wholeness. 15:55 When I was reading about 15:58 Lorna's pain, her doubt, her 16:02 frustrations, her moments of 16:05 hopelessness, it reminded me 16:09 of brokenness, but it also 16:11 reminded me of how God 16:15 transforms and so I started to 16:19 see evidence of wholeness. 16:22 She goes through this 16:25 poetic expression: 16:28 "I was learning about" 16:29 "perseverance in the face of" 16:31 "tremendous difficulty." 16:33 "I was learning to love" 16:35 "myself and enjoy my own" 16:37 "company." 16:39 "I was learning to let go." 16:41 "I was learning to accept" 16:42 "my imperfections." 16:45 Only a whole person can state 16:47 that confidently. 16:50 And as she transitioned from 16:53 brokenness, it reminds me of 16:55 the song, "God Bless the" 16:57 "broken road that led me" 16:59 "straight to you." 17:01 And when I look at that song 17:03 and I read this book... 17:13 >> It's powerful 17:16 because we've all had our 17:17 moments of brokenness 17:21 and just as long as we journey 17:23 the path with God 17:26 and in her journey, she made 17:29 it more about God than her. 17:32 That's how she became whole. 17:36 So there was the brokenness to 17:39 wholeness and the only other 17:43 one that I would add that you 17:47 can draw from that is this 17:50 metamorphic experience she 17:52 went through. 17:54 I would even go so far as to 17:55 say Lorna became Lorne. 17:59 I would go so far as to say in 18:01 her book she speaks about the 18:04 fact that the struggle to 18:07 come out of the cocoon 18:10 empowers the butterfly to fly. 18:12 Oh my goodness! 18:15 How else could you not miss 18:19 that scripture of Romans 8:28, 18:28 And so that theme literally 18:31 screamed out to me. 18:35 Not just the brokenness to 18:36 wholeness, but that 18:38 metamorphic experience that 18:40 she went through. 18:42 The caterpillar 18:44 becoming the butterfly. 18:47 The chicken she refers to in 18:49 her book becoming the eagle. 18:53 And the Bible talks about 18:56 "one can mount up on wings" 18:58 "like eagle" and that's 19:01 exactly what Lorna had become. 19:08 >> So you are in a place where 19:12 it's just like 19:14 pretty much a nightmare. 19:15 [Lorna] Yes. 19:16 >> And you know that you can't 19:18 trust this man. 19:19 You called him "Jones," that's 19:21 not his real name. 19:22 [Lorna] That's right. 19:22 [Mike] It's a pseudonym to 19:23 protect him. 19:24 [Lorna] Yes. 19:26 [Mike] And so he's doing all 19:28 these things. 19:30 Did you get help from 19:31 someone else? 19:34 >> My pastor, Dr. Maitland was 19:38 very supportive. 19:40 He was the pastor that 19:43 officiated our marriage. 19:46 He counselled us for months. 19:50 But Pastor Maitland was there 19:52 to support me and guide me and 19:57 also my best friend who I 19:59 refer to as "Tango" in the 20:01 book, she was very supportive 20:03 as well. 20:04 She carried my pain, 20:07 she carried my burden. 20:10 God is such and awesome God 20:13 because He knew I couldn't 20:15 carry this burden and 20:17 this pain. 20:18 If I had to carry the full 20:21 effect of the pain that was 20:23 inflicted on me, I don't think 20:25 I would be here right now. 20:28 But my best friend carried my 20:30 pain, she felt my pain. 20:33 There were times when at the 20:35 beginning when my world came 20:39 crashing down, I didn't shed a 20:41 tear, I didn't cry. 20:44 But my best friend cried for 20:47 me and that just goes to show 20:52 how God knows best and that He 20:54 works in such awesome ways. 20:57 You know, so I had the support 20:59 of my best friend and 21:01 my pastor. 21:03 My daughters, of course, they 21:05 were supportive, you know, 21:07 as supportive as they could be. 21:10 My mom who was a praying woman 21:13 of God, I knew she was 21:14 praying for me. 21:16 My adopted mom who is my best 21:18 friend's mom is also a prayer 21:20 warrior and I knew that there 21:23 were people who loved me who 21:25 were praying for me, yes. 21:31 I'm Still Standing is an 21:33 incredibly powerful book and 21:36 there were some things that I 21:38 took away for my own personal 21:39 experience looking toward the 21:43 opportunity of continual 21:45 growth in the hand of God. 21:48 It says, "I can never sink so" 21:50 "low where God's hand" 21:52 "couldn't reach me," 21:54 Lorna says. 21:57 She also says, "Only God can" 21:59 "turn a mess into a message." 22:04 She says, "God fought for me" 22:07 "and rescued me." 22:10 And the last is, "God is" 22:13 "everything in every" 22:15 "situation." 22:17 And so as I read the book, for 22:19 me, these are principles that 22:24 I wanna infuse in my life so 22:26 that when I face the next 22:28 challenge, the next trial, the 22:29 next tribulation, not only do 22:32 I have scripture, but I have 22:35 these beautiful gems of truth 22:38 to help me which I believe is 22:40 a part of her mission in 22:44 sharing her mess for God's 22:47 powerful message. 22:51 >> A survivor is one who lives 22:55 after an ordeal. 22:58 We see Lorna as a survivor. 23:01 Lorna survived because 23:02 she was able to claim the 23:03 promises of God. 23:05 She latched into those 23:07 promises, the book is replete 23:09 with promises from God, 23:12 but one that stood out among 23:14 all the others is that 23:16 "No weapon formed against" 23:18 "Me will prosper," 23:19 in Isaiah 54. 23:21 And she saw all the weapons 23:22 that the Devil had forged, 23:24 all the weapons that were ever 23:26 formed and she said, "No," 23:30 "by the help of God they will" 23:31 "not prosper." 23:32 And here she is, still 23:33 standing because the weapons 23:35 have not prospered. 23:36 She is a survivor. 23:41 >> So, Lorna, you talked about 23:42 the word, "intimacy," and I 23:44 always think of the word, 23:45 "intimacy," as "into me see" 23:47 and the only one who can allow 23:49 anyone to see into me is me. 23:51 And so you're opening your 23:52 heart to God and you're 23:54 allowing Him to see into you 23:56 and He speaks to you through 23:57 His word and you get to know 23:59 Him through His word. 24:01 So is there a Bible text that 24:03 speaks to you? 24:05 I mean, there are many, 24:06 I'm sure. 24:08 Is there one specifically that 24:09 you can share with us? 24:11 >> Yes, there is. 24:13 Jeremiah 29, verse 11 is my 24:18 favourite Bible text and I've 24:20 quoted it several times 24:22 in the book... 24:32 I know that I can trust in 24:34 God's promises. 24:36 He's gifted me with two 24:37 priceless gifts. 24:39 You know, there are things 24:41 that money can buy, but it is 24:43 true that money cannot buy joy 24:46 and money cannot buy peace 24:48 and these are gifts that God 24:50 has gifted me and I would not 24:53 trade them for the world. 24:55 This is my encouragement to 24:57 you, just trust God, hold onto 24:59 Him, don't let go. 25:01 >> So you have gone from not 25:04 being able to talk about it to 25:06 writing it, now you're talking 25:08 about it and as you said, 25:09 you're inspiring others with 25:11 it and so as we close off our 25:14 program today, I wonder, 25:16 Lorna, if you could have a 25:17 word of prayer for us? 25:18 >> Absolutely, 25:20 I would love to. 25:23 Our Father Who art in heaven, 25:25 hallowed be Thy Holy and Thy 25:27 powerful name. 25:28 Lord, we are so grateful for 25:30 Your love. 25:32 In spite of the challenges 25:34 that we face, we know that we 25:35 can look to You for help, 25:37 we know that we can come to 25:38 You for help. 25:40 You not just care about the 25:44 big things, You care about the 25:46 small things as well. 25:48 You care about everything 25:50 that concerns us. 25:52 And, Lord, as I've shared my 25:55 story today, I pray, dear God, 25:58 that it will be a blessing to 26:00 others and that You will get 26:03 the glory, the honour, and the 26:05 praise, that lives will be 26:07 inspired and transformed, 26:10 that others will know of Your 26:12 faithfulness, to know that 26:14 they can trust You 26:16 implicitly. 26:17 And, Lord, we thank you for 26:19 the victories, we also thank 26:20 You for the tests, Lord, 26:22 because if there are no tests, 26:25 there will be no testimony. 26:27 So we just ask that You'd give 26:29 us the strength and the 26:30 courage to continue to press 26:33 forward knowing that You will 26:36 keep us standing. 26:38 In Jesus's name I pray, amen. 26:40 [Mike] Amen. 26:41 Lorna, thank you very much for 26:43 your wonderful prayer. 26:44 Thank you for being vulnerable 26:46 enough to share your story, 26:48 to write it so that others can 26:49 be blessed by it and by coming 26:52 in and sharing with us today 26:53 here on It Is Written Canada. 26:55 >> Thank you so much. 26:56 God bless you. 26:59 >> So Lorna's book, 27:01 I'm Still Standing, has many 27:04 more details as I'm sure 27:05 you're aware of her story and 27:08 she has made them available 27:10 for you, free of charge and 27:12 It Is Written Canada will also 27:13 purchase them and as stock 27:16 lasts, you can get them free 27:17 of charge. 27:19 >> And after they run out, 27:21 you're welcome to purchase 27:22 them on amazon.ca in 27:26 hardcover, paperback, 27:27 and on Kindle. 27:29 And, to get the details, make 27:31 sure you get out a pen, piece 27:33 of paper, or your phone, and 27:35 here's the information you 27:36 need to get your free offer. 27:39 >> To request today's offer, 27:40 just log onto 27:41 www.itiswrittencanada.ca 27:45 If you prefer, you may call 27:47 toll free at 1-888-CALL-IIW. 27:52 [Mike] You, too, can 27:54 experience the same kind of 27:55 strength that Lorna had by 27:57 putting your trust in Jesus 27:59 Who Himself remains standing 28:01 when He was tempted by 28:02 the Devil the wilderness 28:03 and said, 28:15 >> In building a relationship 28:18 with God, she has discovered 28:20 that God does not withhold 28:22 anything good from His 28:23 children that walk upright 28:25 with Him 28:27 and she is walking with Him. 28:29 She also discovered her 28:31 self-worth and to whom 28:33 she belongs. 28:35 And once you are able to 28:37 discover those things, 28:40 it is amazing. 28:41 So she's not walking alone 28:43 anymore, she's walking 28:45 with God. 28:46 Through earth's storms, 28:47 He's in there with her and 28:49 that is why she's now changed. |
Revised 2021-01-21