Participants:
Series Code: IIWC
Program Code: IIWC202401S
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00:03 ♪♪
00:05 >> Welcome back to It Is Written 00:07 Canada. 00:08 Thank you for joining us. 00:11 Having been born in South 00:12 Africa, whenever anyone mentions 00:15 Robben Island, I think of 00:18 Nelson Mandela. 00:20 Robben Island was where Nelson 00:21 Mandela spent 27 years 00:24 in prison. 00:25 A number of years ago, Mike and 00:27 I got to look into the room 00:30 where Nelson Mandela was 00:31 imprisoned. 00:33 You probably know he was 00:35 released from prison and became 00:37 the president of South Africa. 00:40 Many people around the world 00:42 were expecting a bloodbath, 00:44 a revolution in South Africa. 00:47 Revenge. 00:49 But instead, Nelson Mandela 00:50 But instead, Nelson Mandela 00:52 had a special seat reserved at 00:55 his inauguration and it was for 00:56 his inauguration and it was for 00:58 his jailer, Christo Brand. 01:01 Nelson Mandela said this... 01:22 Friends, forgiveness is 01:24 medicine. 01:26 Forgiveness is the remedy 01:28 for healing the sin-sick, 01:30 shame-soaked soul. 01:33 Dr. Frederic Luskin, the 01:35 director of the Stanford 01:36 University Forgiveness Project, 01:39 sees forgiveness as 01:41 living the life 01:43 you didn't choose. 01:46 Mike is now going to share how 01:48 he discovered what it meant when 01:51 we say that forgiveness is a 01:54 choice to live the life 01:56 you didn't choose. 02:00 [theme music playing] 02:03 ♪♪ 02:35 [pensive music playing] 02:38 ♪♪ 02:46 [MIKE] Here is me as a small 02:47 child, four years old, ready to 02:49 play baseball with my brothers, 02:52 clinging to a baseball bat that 02:53 is way too big for me to handle. 02:57 I always ask people if 02:59 they think that I look happy 03:01 in that photograph. 03:03 in that photograph. 03:03 It's true I'm smiling in this 03:06 photograph, but in fact, I was 03:09 suffering a very deep wound 03:11 to my four-year-old heart. 03:14 To understand the source of that 03:16 wound, I have to take you back 03:18 in time and introduce you to 03:21 my mother's childhood. 03:23 My mother was one of two girls. 03:26 She was the eldest. 03:28 [gentle piano music playing] 03:29 I can remember my grandmother 03:31 I can remember my grandmother 03:32 as being very tough. 03:35 Having grown up in a farm, she 03:37 had these muscular arms 03:39 like a man. 03:41 She really had to be tough 03:44 because she didn't have 03:45 an easy life. 03:48 Her first husband was 03:50 not a faithful man, and 03:53 his absence from the home 03:56 had really affected my mother 03:58 because that was her father. 04:01 She always seemed to battle with 04:03 what I referred to as the demons 04:05 of depression. 04:07 She felt like she was never 04:09 good enough. 04:11 She couldn't make herself look 04:12 good enough or feel good enough. 04:14 It's strange how these kinds of 04:16 wounds in childhood can leave 04:19 lasting scars that affect your 04:22 emotional and psychological 04:25 state, sometimes throughout your 04:27 entire life. 04:28 My mother was really looking 04:31 for love. 04:33 And I don't know how they met... 04:36 ...but here's a photograph of 04:37 ...but here's a photograph of 04:39 my mom and dad on their 04:40 wedding day. 04:42 And again, they they both look 04:44 happy in the photograph. 04:45 I'm sure, and perhaps they were, 04:46 I'm sure, and perhaps they were, 04:48 but a happy wedding day does not 04:51 always mean a happy marriage. 04:55 A number of years ago, 04:58 I came across a quote 05:00 that helped me see how 05:02 the enemy of souls, of all of 05:05 our souls is behind unhappy 05:07 marriages. 05:08 Here's the quote. 05:35 Of course, the quote 05:37 makes sense. 05:38 If you think about it, 05:40 society is based 05:41 on the family 05:43 and if there is great 05:46 unhappiness inside the home, 05:49 which is what Satan wants, 05:51 then he attacks the home. 05:55 And within a few short years, 05:57 my parents, they had three boys, 06:00 my brothers, and seven years 06:02 later I was born. 06:04 They say I was a blue baby. 06:05 I was a sickly baby. 06:07 I didn't get enough air. 06:10 I was... 06:12 ...I was born into this home 06:14 of angry words. 06:17 My dad had embraced his bottle 06:19 of booze, and my mum's mind was 06:22 always battling those demons 06:24 of depression. 06:25 Not exactly Paradise. 06:28 I often say that my 06:29 childhood home, 06:32 like too many others, 06:34 could be correctly characterized 06:36 by one word, and that's the 06:37 word, "dysfunctional," which 06:39 many people think means "not 06:41 functional," but dysfunctional 06:43 rather means functioning 06:45 in pain. 06:45 It's like when you go through 06:47 the day wearing a tight pair of 06:50 shoes, they're too tight for 06:52 your feet, and the pain subsides 06:54 only when the shoes come off. 06:58 However, like many children 07:00 in this kind of home, I was not 07:02 able to escape my prison of pain 07:05 as a child, and I found myself 07:08 suffering incessant sickness. 07:12 High fevers, headaches, coughs, 07:15 colds, infectious mononucleosis, 07:17 tonsillitis, meningitis. 07:20 I was in and out of hospital 07:23 all my childhood. 07:24 And shortly after I turned three 07:26 years old, my mom decided to 07:29 leave her unhappy marriage. 07:33 She packed us all onto a train 07:36 in Sudbury, Ontario, where I was 07:37 in Sudbury, Ontario, where I was 07:38 born, and from there 07:40 we travelled to Regina, 07:43 Saskatchewan where my 07:45 grandmother lived, where her 07:46 mother lived. 07:48 That was a very long 07:50 journey indeed. 07:52 My mom said that I was 07:53 very sick. 07:54 I threw up the entire journey, 07:57 and she had this new coat that 07:59 she had got from my dad... 08:02 ...and she said it was a 08:04 terrible journey. 08:05 But finally we arrived at my 08:06 grandmother's house. 08:08 My mom and 08:09 us four boys, but 08:12 my mom soon found out that she 08:13 was not able to take care of 08:15 all of us. 08:16 And one day she took us 08:19 on a car ride 08:21 to a place called The Orange 08:22 to a place called The Orange 08:23 Home, in an orphanage. 08:25 There was an orphanage there in 08:27 Indian Head, Saskatchewan. 08:28 Today, it's no longer an 08:30 orphanage. 08:31 The buildings are still there, 08:32 but it's a personal care home 08:35 called Hayes Haven. 08:39 I remember the day 08:41 so well. 08:42 There were lots of children all 08:44 playing outside and 08:46 playing outside and 08:47 soon I joined in. 08:48 We were kicking a soccer ball 08:50 around, we were running around 08:53 the swings and just having fun. 08:56 It was such an exciting day. 08:59 But when the sun set and they 09:01 called all of us children in, 09:02 I turned to find my mother 09:05 and they told me that this was 09:07 now going to be my new home. 09:10 And my mother 09:11 had left us 09:12 had left us 09:13 there at the orphanage. 09:17 And so I felt essentially 09:18 And so I felt essentially 09:19 abandoned on my own at that 09:22 orphanage from the age of three 09:24 until I was 16. 09:26 And some people ask if I ever 09:28 saw my mother or my brothers 09:30 again, and yes, we did. 09:31 We usually, it was on holidays 09:34 like Christmas when we all were 09:35 like Christmas when we all were 09:36 able to get together and get on 09:38 a Greyhound bus and go to Regina 09:40 and see our mother for 09:43 those holidays. 09:45 After 13 years 09:47 living in an orphanage, 09:49 I was really 09:51 a bitter teenager. 09:54 And I really didn't realize what 09:56 I was doing at the time, but I 09:58 began to try and numb the pain, 10:01 anaesthetize the pain with 10:03 alcohol and with other 10:04 substances. 10:05 substances. 10:06 When I was ten years old, still 10:07 living at the orphanage, my 10:09 eldest brother Joe was killed in 10:11 a tractor accident. 10:14 He was 18 years old at the time, 10:16 and Joe's death was like an 10:18 explosion that went off 10:21 in my chest, in my heart. 10:22 I was standing there, I remember 10:23 standing at his casket at─ 10:24 standing at his casket at─ 10:26 and it was open, he was there. 10:28 And seeing him lying there 10:30 almost crushed the life out of 10:32 me, it almost crushed the life 10:33 out of my brothers. 10:35 And it certainly crushed the 10:36 life out of my mother because 10:38 six years later, when I was 16, 10:41 my mother, who was battling 10:43 with those demons of depression 10:46 her entire life, 10:48 she died by suicide. 10:52 So this is where my grandmother 10:54 stepped forward. 10:56 At the age of 16, 10:58 I had 11:00 not yet finished high school, 11:02 and so my grandmother suggested 11:04 and so my grandmother suggested 11:04 that I finish my high school 11:06 education at a Christian 11:08 boarding school, a school in 11:10 Lacombe, Alberta. 11:11 Lacombe, Alberta. 11:12 And it was there that I was 11:14 introduced to 11:16 the Bible. 11:18 Someone handed me 11:19 his own Bible 11:21 and he said, "Here, take it! 11:23 This book will change 11:25 your life." 11:27 And then he said to me, 11:28 "If you promise to read 11:29 one chapter a day, 11:32 you can have my Bible." 11:33 And I really didn't want to take 11:34 it, but I wanted my life 11:36 to change. 11:37 And so I took that Bible 11:40 and I did what he said. 11:42 I read at least a chapter a day 11:45 and it was true. 11:47 He told me to pray 11:49 before I opened the Bible, 11:50 and I think that's a very 11:51 good practice, because 11:53 what was in this book 11:55 was spiritual 11:56 and you need to ask God to 11:58 give you spiritual understanding 12:00 to be able to understand 12:02 the Bible. 12:03 And he was right. 12:05 Reading the Bible completely 12:06 changed my life. 12:09 No one can seriously read 12:12 the Bible and pray 12:15 and not be changed 12:17 by God. 12:18 This book changes 12:20 people's lives. 12:23 So right here 12:24 in the Bible 12:26 is where 12:28 I learned about forgiveness. 12:30 And what did I learn? 12:33 I learned that, number one, 12:34 forgiveness is a choice 12:37 to live the life 12:38 I didn't choose. 12:40 So Jesus turned to His disciples 12:43 and He said... 12:49 But then he said... 13:14 So what's fascinating is that 13:17 when the disciples were 13:18 commanded to heal the sick, 13:20 to restore the strength 13:22 of lame limbs, 13:23 to give sight to blind eyes, and 13:26 hearing to deaf ears, 13:29 all through the miracle working 13:31 power of depending upon Jesus, 13:32 not once is it recorded 13:35 that the disciples asked Jesus 13:38 to increase their faith. 13:41 But when they're asked to 13:43 forgive someone who 13:45 sins against them 13:46 seven times in a day, 13:49 then they ask Him, "Lord, 13:51 increase our faith." 13:53 So think about it. 13:54 Your neighbour knocks on the 13:56 front door to tell you, 13:59 "Hey... 14:00 ...I'm so sorry, but I... 14:03 ...I was parking my car 14:05 and I accidentally bumped into 14:07 your SUV." 14:09 So as an apprentice of Jesus, 14:12 you take down the details of his 14:15 insurance and he signs a 14:17 statement saying that 14:18 the accident was 14:19 entirely his fault 14:22 and you forgive him. 14:23 It's not easy, but you do. 14:27 Now get this, an hour later, he 14:29 shows up again at your door and 14:31 he knocks at the door and he 14:32 asks you for your forgiveness 14:35 because this time, when he was 14:37 pulling out of his driveway, he 14:39 scrapes the entire side 14:41 of your car. 14:43 Again, he signs a statement 14:45 saying that the accident was all 14:48 his responsibility. 14:49 And as an apprentice of Jesus, 14:51 you forgive him. 14:52 It's not easy, but you do. 14:55 And this time, it only takes 14:58 your neighbour half an hour 15:00 to scrape the entire side of the 15:03 other side of the car. 15:04 And... 15:05 ...this is only 15:07 three times. 15:09 And Jesus commanded His 15:11 disciples, "If your neighbour 15:13 sins against you seven times in 15:16 a day and seven times in a day, 15:18 returns to you, saying, 15:20 'I repent,' 15:21 you shall forgive him." 15:25 Three times in a day would be 15:26 pushing the friendship, but 15:28 seven times in one day? 15:32 Now you know why the apostles 15:35 said to the Lord, 15:36 "Increase our faith." 15:38 Forgiveness is way beyond 15:41 human nature. 15:51 Yet He assures us that by 15:53 depending on the faith that He 15:55 provides to enable you and me, 15:58 us to forgive, we can do it. 16:02 So what is forgiveness? 16:12 It's giving up believing 16:14 that your past will change. 16:15 It's not gonna change; your past 16:18 happened and no amount of 16:20 wishing it away or resenting it 16:22 away or holding onto the pain 16:25 and letting it control you 16:28 will ever make it better. 16:31 True forgiveness is a conscious, 16:33 deliberate decision to release 16:36 a spirit of revenge. 16:40 And feelings of resentment 16:42 towards a person or a group 16:44 who has harmed you, regardless 16:47 of whether they actually deserve 16:49 your forgiveness. 16:52 But it's not fair. 16:54 So here's the objection that 16:56 naturally arises from the human 16:59 heart: "But it's not fair. 17:01 Why should I be the one to 17:03 forgive when I am the one who 17:05 has been wronged? 17:07 They didn't suffer the way that 17:08 they made me suffer. 17:10 So it's not fair." 17:14 You know what I do whenever I 17:15 hear this objection, I ask this 17:17 question: If someone stabbed you 17:19 with a knife... 17:21 ...would you want the doctor 17:22 to treat your wounds 17:25 and stop the bleeding? 17:27 Or would you complain, why do I 17:29 have to go to the doctor? 17:31 It's not fair. 17:32 Why should I be the one to 17:34 receive medical attention when I 17:36 am the one who has been wronged? 17:38 They didn't suffer the way that 17:39 they made me suffer." 17:42 So when people start to 17:44 understand that forgiveness is 17:45 the only path of healing, 17:48 then the light comes on. 17:49 Forgiveness truly is the only 17:52 mechanism for rooting out the 17:54 bitterness, the resentment, 17:55 the anger 17:57 that is within your heart... 18:00 ...and the heart of anyone who 18:02 has been hurt by another person. 18:05 I was able to let go 18:07 of my bitterness... 18:10 ...towards and forgiveness 18:12 of my mom and my dad 18:14 for the abandonment 18:16 and for their divorce. 18:19 And I was also─ this is the 18:20 strangest thing, you know, 18:22 when you're a child, you think 18:25 that you're to blame for all 18:26 these bad things that happened 18:28 in your life. 18:29 And this was the hardest person 18:30 to forgive─ myself. 18:33 I was also able to forgive all 18:35 those who hurt me. 18:39 When I read in the Bible the 18:42 account of when Jesus was 18:44 nailed to the cross 18:46 and my Savior said these words, 18:49 "Father, forgive them, 18:51 for they do not know 18:53 what they are doing." 18:55 That's when I realized 18:58 that God's reply 19:01 is always, 19:02 "I forgive you." 19:05 Actually, we were forgiven 19:08 before we asked. 19:11 God doesn't have to let go. 19:14 The Bible affirms this 19:16 The Bible affirms this 19:16 when it says... 19:26 He reads our hearts, but He 19:26 He reads our hearts, but He 19:27 knows how weak we are and how we 19:30 need forgiveness. 19:31 The problem is... 19:33 ...the problem is that we have 19:35 been deceived about God's 19:37 forgiving nature. 19:40 How many times have we been 19:41 reluctant to come to God because 19:44 we fear that He is angry 19:46 with us? 19:48 Or He won't forgive us, 19:50 even if we do ask? 19:53 And how many times 19:54 has that attitude 19:57 kept us from forgiving others 19:58 kept us from forgiving others 20:00 who have hurt us? 20:02 When I realize that God forgives 20:05 so freely, I asked myself, 20:06 so freely, I asked myself, 20:08 who am I not to do the same? 20:12 Some people have said to me, "I 20:14 can never forgive, because 20:17 holding on to my anger makes me 20:19 stronger and less vulnerable." 20:23 They just don't want to 20:24 appear weak. 20:25 So I have to ask the question, 20:26 is that really true? 20:30 So imagine with me 20:33 for a moment 20:34 that you take a trip to a 20:36 tropical island where the sun is 20:39 blistering hot and you go down 20:41 to the beach and you fall asleep 20:43 for a couple of hours. 20:45 And when you wake up... 20:47 ...you are burned. 20:49 You have sunburn. 20:51 And you quickly run 20:53 to where you stay and you 20:55 get inside with the air 20:56 conditioning and you try to get 20:58 comfortable, and you get behind 20:59 your computer and you start 21:01 doing some work, and you just 21:02 want everyone to leave 21:04 you alone. 21:05 And while you are working, 21:07 your child, little child, he 21:09 comes up behind you and he 21:10 wants to play with you and he 21:12 jumps on your back and he starts 21:14 saying, "Daddy, Daddy, 21:16 let's play!" 21:17 What do you do? 21:18 Will you scream? 21:19 You say, "Ouch! 21:21 Please get off of me! 21:23 Daddy's back is hurting. 21:25 I can't play right now. 21:26 Please go and play with Mommy." 21:30 And so you try to settle down 21:32 and get comfortable again and 21:33 you're just in pain. 21:34 And you continue working at 21:36 your computer until your 21:37 brother-in-law, who is on 21:39 holiday with you, he comes 21:41 behind you and you don't hear 21:42 him, and he slaps you on the 21:44 back and he says, "How are you 21:46 doing?" 21:48 What do you do? 21:49 Will you scream and you say, 21:51 "Ouch! That really hurt! 21:54 Can't you see that I'm 21:56 sunburned?" 22:00 So your brother-in-law, of 22:01 course he apologizes and he 22:03 leaves to─ you can continue, 22:05 you're working on the computer. 22:06 Everyone is leaving you alone 22:08 until your wife, 22:10 she thinks that you need some 22:11 love and so she tiptoes silently 22:14 behind you and she squeezes you 22:17 tight and she gives you a bear, 22:19 big bear hug from behind. 22:21 And she says, "I love you." 22:23 What do you do? 22:25 Will you scream and you go, 22:27 "Ouch! That really hurt! 22:30 Can't you see that I've got 22:32 sunburn?" 22:36 You see, when you're burned, 22:39 you lose the ability to tell the 22:42 difference between touches of 22:44 play and touches of aggression 22:45 and touches of love. 22:46 Everything hurts. 22:49 And so you push everyone away. 22:53 So what's the best strategy 22:56 for sunburn? 22:58 Is the best strategy to keep 23:00 everyone away from touching you? 23:04 Or is the best strategy to get 23:06 healing for the sunburn? 23:10 So the process of forgiveness 23:13 heals the burns in your heart. 23:18 And when you are 23:19 healed from forgiveness... 23:21 ...you become far less 23:23 reactionary and you are able 23:26 to interact with others 23:28 without... 23:30 ...being so reactionary. 23:34 The belief that if you forgive, 23:36 it will open you up to further 23:39 abuse is really a lie. 23:43 It won't make you weaker, it'll 23:44 make you stronger to forgive. 23:46 If you aren't able to forgive, 23:48 it drives a wedge between you 23:51 and everyone else. 23:55 But Jesus said... 23:56 But Jesus said... 24:03 When we trust 24:04 the Word of God, 24:07 as I did when I read that Bible 24:09 for the first time, then we will 24:11 be able to do what Jesus 24:14 commanded us when He said... 24:31 When we do this, we will be 24:34 filled with the peace of God. 24:36 As the Bible says, "Great peace 24:38 have they which love Thy law, 24:40 and nothing, nothing shall 24:42 offend them." 24:44 [relaxing music playing] 24:47 ♪♪ 25:01 Friends, Jesus understands 25:05 how the emotional pain that you 25:07 feel reaches the very 25:09 deepest levels of human agony 25:12 when someone trespasses against 25:14 you, when someone you never 25:17 expected violates you 25:19 or hurts you in some way 25:22 with their words or 25:24 with their actions. 25:26 You didn't choose for that to 25:28 happen to you, you didn't choose 25:30 that defilement to your life. 25:32 Someone else did it to you, 25:34 and that violation 25:37 invaded your world 25:39 and became a part of your 25:40 reality. 25:41 The only way to deal with this 25:44 desecration that you did not 25:46 choose is to forgive. 25:50 If you are convicted right now 25:53 that you need to do that, 25:56 then please let me pray 25:57 for you right now. 25:58 Let's pray together. 26:02 Father... 26:03 ...our Father in heaven, 26:06 I wanna ask You right now to 26:09 remove that seed of bitterness, 26:12 that seed of anger, that seed of 26:14 resentment from the hearts of 26:16 all those 26:18 who need You 26:20 right now to do that for them. 26:23 Father, change them, heal them, 26:27 heal their hearts by the miracle 26:30 of the gift of forgiveness. 26:31 Give that gift to them 26:32 right now. 26:33 We pray this 26:35 and we thank You for hearing and 26:37 answering our prayer. 26:38 In Jesus' name we pray. 26:41 Amen. 26:44 Friends, it was when I opened 26:46 the Bible for the first time 26:48 that I began to understand 26:50 forgiveness. 26:51 And God invites you to prove for 26:53 yourself the reality of His 26:55 Word, the Bible. 26:57 The goodness and the truth of 27:00 His promises; He invites you to 27:02 taste and see that the Lord 27:04 is good. 27:06 >> Instead of depending upon the 27:08 word of someone else, if you can 27:10 taste for yourself, Jesus 27:12 declares... 27:16 So our free offer for you today 27:19 is our Bible study guides. 27:20 is our Bible study guides. 27:21 They will help you understand 27:23 forgiveness better and become 27:26 wise in your walk with Jesus. 27:29 [MIKE] Our free Bible study 27:31 guides will help you to 27:32 experience for yourself the 27:34 reality of God's Holy Word, the 27:37 Bible, the truth of His 27:38 promises, and how the Bible has 27:41 verifiable answers to all your 27:43 questions, including God's will 27:46 for your life. 27:48 >> Practical answers that make 27:50 sense and will give you 27:51 assurance for the present 27:54 and the future. 27:57 >> Before you go, we would like 27:59 to thank all of you who have 28:01 supported the ministry of It Is 28:03 Written Canada with your prayers 28:05 and financial contributions. 28:07 Without your support, this 28:08 television ministry could not 28:10 have reached so many people for 28:13 so many decades. 28:15 >> Yes. Thank you. 28:18 >> Friends, if you want the kind 28:20 of peace and confidence that 28:22 only God can give you, then we 28:24 recommend that you daily open 28:26 this book, the Bible, where it 28:29 is recorded that Jesus found His 28:31 assurance to defeat the Devil 28:33 through the word of His Father 28:35 when He declared... 28:46 [gentle music playing] 28:49 ♪♪ |
Revised 2024-10-06