Participants:
Series Code: LAC
Program Code: LAC180009A
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00:01 Our world had just turned upside down.
00:03 Our 19-year-old daughter was pregnant. 00:07 We've just started the pastoral ministry 00:09 and now, what was going to happen, 00:11 what will people say or think. 00:14 We didn't know, 00:16 we were concerned about our daughter, 00:17 but we were also concerned about our own future. 00:20 Join us as we tell you our story 00:23 on Life After Choice. 00:41 Welcome, this is Pastor Todd Parker 00:43 with Life After Choice. 00:45 And I'm Gina Parker, and welcome to our story. 00:48 Our daughter was pregnant at 19, what do you do? 00:52 Seem to be a big question for us, we had no idea. 00:55 But as the story started, we started... 00:57 We lived in Northern Idaho, great place to live, 01:01 there is a lot of great stuff there. 01:03 Kids grow up there for many, many years, 01:05 and I was a Bible worker there 01:07 in with Upper Columbia Conference 01:10 and I loved doing it, it was a lot of fun, 01:13 and we are called from the conference down 01:15 in the south. 01:16 Would you really like to be a pastor? 01:19 Well, I'm excited, sure, I would love to be, 01:21 but we prayed about it first. 01:22 We made sure God was involved in this whole situation, 01:25 and as we prayed about it and God started moving, 01:28 but we wanted to make sure that our family was on board 01:31 and we asked our kids to make sure. 01:33 My son was up in Canada actually at the time, 01:35 he was working in film school up in Canada 01:39 and we were in the Northern Idaho 01:41 and we prayed about it. 01:43 My daughter wasn't really on board 01:44 but even though she wasn't on board, 01:46 we prayed about it and she decided eventually 01:49 that she wouldn't like to go with us. 01:51 It was a struggle for her. 01:53 She was, had her friends, her family, her home, 01:57 everything she knew and when we got the call, 02:02 we did pray and we asked God, 02:04 "God, is this what You want from us?" 02:07 And God said yes. 02:09 So went and she did go, it was reluctantly, 02:13 but she went. 02:14 And when we got there in the south, 02:18 she got a job, she started making friends 02:21 and things were going okay or so we thought. 02:25 One Sunday morning, 02:28 I remember it as if it was yesterday. 02:31 We were driving home from a church event 02:33 and the phone rang 02:36 and it was my sister-in-law and she says 02:38 "Gina, I have something very important to tell you, 02:41 are you sitting down." 02:42 My first thought was something has happened 02:45 to my mother-in-law, she has cancer 02:48 and I was wondering what's going on. 02:52 And she says, "Gina, Jessica called me" 02:56 and then I thought, 02:57 oh, no she has been in a car accident you know, 03:00 I wasn't prepared 03:01 for what she was about to say next 03:02 and she said, 03:04 she called me to tell me that she is pregnant. 03:08 It was literally like somebody was punching me in the stomach. 03:13 I was in a daze, I didn't even realize 03:15 I was driving for a moment 03:17 and I didn't even know what to say, 03:20 but the look on my face... 03:22 It felt like you were bit frustrated. 03:23 Yeah. 03:25 Oh, I was terrified, you know, I didn't know what to say. 03:28 I didn't know how to tell you and you kept asking me. 03:31 Well, I was looking at your face saying, 03:33 you know, what is going on, what's going on, 03:35 what is going on here? 03:37 Because your face, I mean if you were there, 03:39 look at your face, read your face, 03:41 I was reading there something terrifying, 03:44 not knowing what was going on and saying what's going on. 03:48 Oh, you know, 03:49 I was still trying to process it myself. 03:52 And truth of the matter is, I was scared to tell you. 03:55 I didn't know how to tell you, how do you tell somebody 03:59 that their daughter is pregnant 04:00 when you can't even understand it. 04:03 So I remember all of a sudden I stopped and I said, 04:07 "Jessica is pregnant." 04:10 In that... 04:11 I think in that situation 04:13 it was kind of like where your emotions are there, 04:15 your frustrations are there, your hurt is there, 04:18 and I think the biggest thing is what did I do wrong, 04:20 what did we do wrong, 04:21 where do we go wrong in this whole thing, 04:23 and you're kind of analyzing that, 04:24 you are looking back in that situation saying, 04:27 "This is ridiculous. 04:28 Why did it happen to us?" 04:30 It always happens to other people 04:31 but why would it ever happen to us. 04:34 That's true and for me, you know, 04:39 I'm ashamed to say it now but back then it was, 04:44 what are people going to think, what are people going to say, 04:47 how they gonna react? 04:49 Yeah. 04:50 What's gonna happen to your job? 04:52 Right. 04:53 You know, what's gonna happen to you, 04:55 you just became a pastor. 04:57 And what are the members gonna think. 04:58 What are members going to think, yes. 05:00 You know, you are... 05:01 And you know I think there is not only that, 05:02 what it also is your family, 05:04 what are the family gonna think? 05:06 Well, you know, you're basing it on that 05:09 because that's your life. 05:11 I mean you've put your life into the ministry, 05:14 is it gonna be over now, is it going to stop? 05:17 And then you know, 05:18 I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves 05:20 because oh, you are a pastor and I'm a pastor's wife, 05:24 and our kids are supposed to be perfect, 05:26 and everything is supposed to be perfect 05:29 and now it's not. 05:30 You're almost like as a pastor, pastor's wife 05:32 you are in a fish bowl. 05:34 Right. 05:35 You're seen by everybody 05:36 and you've to do the right thing 05:38 at all the times but, you know, I came along, 05:41 when we were sitting in the car that day. 05:43 I remember saying Gina, we gotta move forward, 05:48 we gotta not just... 05:51 I don't know what's gonna happen, 05:52 when you don't know what' gonna happen 05:54 but God knows what's gonna happen, 05:55 we just gotta move forward. 05:56 You know, it's, moving forward is a scary thing 05:59 but it's essential for everybody to do. 06:02 And so, I remember talking about you know, Moses and Him, 06:06 Moses and, you know, here is the Red Sea 06:08 and here's he's on the Red Sea, 06:10 but there is the Egyptians coming behind the Israelites 06:13 and they are blocked into this tight spot. 06:17 What are they gonna do? 06:19 And God says be quiet to Moses, I think the message Bible says, 06:25 shut up and go forward. 06:28 You know, He didn't want him to whine and complaint, 06:30 he said, go forward, and we had to go forward 06:33 even though our job would've been lost, 06:36 our friends may have said, you know, 06:39 we don't have time for you, all the stuff. 06:41 We just knew that God wanted us to go forward. 06:44 I know for me those words were comfort, 06:48 for me those words were like, 06:52 I could breathe because I knew now 06:54 that I could move forward and that didn't change the fact 06:58 that we had a lot to deal with, 07:00 but I knew it's gonna be okay with you. 07:03 And that meant, that was huge 07:05 because I know you and I were gonna be okay and so, 07:09 but we still had to do with other issues, 07:11 we had to deal with you telling your boss. 07:16 Talking to Peter, 07:17 calling Peter up and I did that, 07:18 I called him several months later, 07:23 praying about it, asking God to help with that 07:26 and I knew that, you know, 07:29 and you know, lot of times what we always do, 07:31 you know, we always make it the worst, 07:33 we always looking it, 07:34 "Oh, my goodness, it's gonna be the worst," 07:36 but God is in the business of dealing with it 07:38 and so, I talked to Peter about it 07:41 and Peter was considerably like, 07:44 wow, I thought it was gonna be really bad. 07:47 He didn't talk to the conference president yet, 07:48 but he didn't look at it like, I thought he would look at it. 07:52 Praise the Lord. Yeah, he didn't. 07:55 You know, fear is powerful and when you have fear, 08:01 it can cause you to do things that you wouldn't normally do. 08:04 It causes you to make a rational decisions 08:07 and it causes you to not trust in God. 08:11 And at that time, I had fear, 08:15 and I praise God for you 08:19 because you brought me back to reality 08:23 and you took away my fear, and that helped me to say, 08:28 okay, I can't do this on our own, 08:32 we can't do it on our own, 08:34 but we can trust in God, and God's gonna get us through, 08:37 I don't know how, 08:39 but you still live with that stigma, 08:40 what are people gonna think, you know, 08:42 what are they gonna say and we hadn't told our... 08:46 Church family. Church family, yeah. 08:48 Well, that's a good story 08:50 because when you were in the church that day 08:53 and the church member came up to you, 08:54 she didn't know, did she? 08:56 She... 08:58 What had happened was as time was going on, 09:01 Jessica was getting sicker, she was losing weight, 09:06 she was pale, 09:07 all the signs of morning sickness 09:10 and this amazing godly woman came up to me and she says, 09:16 "Can I talk to you?" 09:17 And I said, "Okay." 09:19 And she says, "Is Jessica pregnant?" 09:24 And again there is that, you know... 09:26 See, I was raised 09:27 where you have to watch everything you did, 09:29 everything, you know, 09:31 my parents were constantly telling me, 09:32 you know, don't let people talk about you, you know, 09:35 you make sure you do this right and you do that right 09:38 and so I lived a very strict line, 09:41 I toed a very strict line. 09:43 Even, you know, when you were at your home, 09:46 remember that, leaving home at your parent's house 09:48 and you would go, 09:50 you would wear something outside, 09:51 your parents would be on your case. 09:53 Oh, yeah. 09:55 Because they do wanted to make sure 09:56 things were doubled out, you did not do that. 09:58 I wasn't even allowed to wear shorts outside, 10:00 I was not allowed to go on the front yard 10:02 unless they were there. 10:03 Yeah 'cause we always worried what people think. 10:06 So at that moment when she came to me 10:11 and she said, "Can I talk to you?" 10:14 And then she says, "Is Jessica pregnant?" 10:19 I wanted to say no, no, 10:22 she's just not feeling good you know, you know. 10:24 But how you'd hide a pregnancy? 10:27 And reality was, I didn't want to. 10:32 But you know, here's the thing, 10:33 we're getting a little ahead of our self is the fact 10:35 that here we were so worried about what people were thinking 10:39 and here our baby girl was suffering. 10:43 So it's the unknown for her 10:44 just like it was unknown for us. 10:46 It was. 10:47 And sometimes I think the unknown for her 10:49 was probably bigger than our unknown 10:51 'cause she is 19 and we're older 10:56 and I don't know, we've been through several unknowns 10:58 but she has never been through many unknowns 11:00 'cause she has been in the family. 11:01 That's right. 11:03 And being in the family, 11:04 we are always taking care of her, 11:05 we're always sheltering her but this was hugest unknown 11:07 that you could ever imagine a child being in. 11:09 And I praise the Lord 11:11 that we were able as a group of family members 11:14 come together and be a part of her 11:17 and help her in that unknown. 11:19 Yeah, you know, as a mother it was hard 11:23 because like I said 11:25 because of the way I was raised, 11:27 I thought that we had to make sure 11:29 she carried all the Ps and Qs and she did something 11:34 which meant we did raise her right. 11:37 But you know what? 11:38 God in His infinite mercy made me realize that Gina, 11:43 she is your child and I called her up and I said, 11:46 "Jessica, we know you are pregnant, 11:49 but it's gonna be okay. 11:51 We love you and we gonna work through this 11:55 and it's gonna be all right, 11:57 and we don't know what's gonna happen 12:01 but that tiny little life inside of you 12:04 is gonna be loved." 12:06 And even though in mind, I was struggling 12:11 with what was going on 12:13 and still like I said, 12:14 what's ingrained from you from the childhood 12:16 you know, the do's the don'ts. 12:18 I know I wasn't gonna lecture her, 12:20 she didn't need to hear that I... 12:24 Why did you do that? Why did you this? 12:26 You know, you should've known better. 12:29 I wasn't gonna lecture on that, she already knew, 12:32 but what she needed from us was support, 12:35 what she needed from us was love, 12:38 and what she needed from us 12:40 was knowing that the God that we serve loved her 12:45 and the only way she was gonna see that 12:47 was through us. 12:48 Amen, and she... 12:50 You know, the scripture came to my mind just now, 12:52 "All things work together for good to them 12:53 that love the Lord." 12:55 And that's the only way to get through it 12:57 is that He loves us despite our foibles. 13:01 Now, remember that arrow, who's that arrow? 13:03 That's right. 13:05 I remember there was the pastor, 13:08 a book that we had read 13:09 and it was a story about a pastor. 13:12 For years I struggled 13:15 with something that it happened in my life 13:19 and I remember God directly telling me no, 13:25 I mean it was so loud, it was almost deafening, no, 13:29 but I was determined 13:30 that this was what I wanted to do. 13:32 God, You don't understand, this is what I want, 13:35 and God kept saying no. 13:39 And I did it anyway. 13:40 And for years and years and years, 13:43 I struggled with the fact that no I had to live with 13:47 'cause God knew better than I did, 13:52 and it wasn't until I read this book from a pastor, 13:54 and he said that God can take a crooked arrow 13:58 and still make it hit its target. 14:01 And so I knew that God could take the situation 14:05 and He could change it 14:07 and even though it wasn't the way 14:09 we had hoped it to be, 14:10 it was the way God wanted it to be, 14:13 and I praised God that He is always 14:17 and forever in control. 14:21 Well, you know, it's exciting, 14:23 as Logan our grandson came along 14:25 and he is a bundle of joy. 14:27 I tell you what? 14:29 He lights the room up 14:30 every time he comes into a room. 14:32 It's so exciting, so I just wanted to say, 14:34 you know what? 14:36 Him coming into our lives was a joy. |
Revised 2019-03-21