Participants:
Series Code: LTBW
Program Code: LTBW000004A
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00:34 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim and welcome to "Live to Be Well"
00:38 Today on our program we're going to be discussing 00:41 unconditional love, but we can't discuss that without 00:45 recognizing God the Father... how He gave His only 00:49 begotten Son on Calvary to die for our sins. 00:53 Today my special guest is here to talk about his 00:56 unconditional love that he shared with his father 00:59 who recently passed away. 01:01 I want to take this time to welcome "Brandon Dent" 01:05 Welcome to "Live to Be Well" 01:07 I'm happy to be here. 01:08 I know a lot has been going on in your life, 01:11 but I want to just take it step-by-step... 01:14 can we do that? Sure! 01:15 You know, we've met as children at the 01:17 "Burns Avenue Seventh-day Adventist Church." That's right! 01:21 And on Burns on the east side of Detroit. That's right! 01:24 And we attended the same school, "Davison Warren Academy," 01:29 the same youth choir; we ran around the church 01:32 getting trouble - that was you, that was not me, okay? 01:35 Yes, I'm guilty as charged. Alright. 01:37 And our families all intertwined 01:39 served this church. That's right. 01:41 And Marshall T. Kelly was our Pastor... you know it takes 01:45 everything to serve the Lord. Yeah 01:48 So we came up with such a strong foundation in the church, 01:52 but what I'm seeing today, Brandon, is that 01:54 a lot of our youth that we grew up 01:57 with are no longer in the church. 01:59 We can count on one hand how many of us 02:02 are still in the church with you and I, 02:05 and as we grew up together 02:06 and we are still here serving the Lord. Yes we are. 02:10 Let's talk about who Elder Brandon Dent is. 02:12 He's a son, he's a husband, a father, a grandfather, 02:18 an engineer, a teacher educator, a friend, 02:23 just a phenomenal man of God. 02:25 So let's talk about the journey of who you are, 02:29 and the testimony that will lead into what you have gone 02:33 through in the last couple of weeks. 02:35 Yeah well, you know they say that you are the sum total 02:37 of your experiences - so when I was a kid, I used to 02:41 hear these long bios of great speakers and Ph.D.'s, 02:47 and you know, folk like yourself. 02:49 Oh, is that right. 02:50 And I used to think, "Wow, how did they become all that?" 02:54 And, of course, having lived a little bit of life, 02:57 I realized that it's just a layering of things over time. 03:02 You don't fly to positions of prominence, 03:08 you walk the beaten path, you know, 03:11 and then when you do it that way, you know the way... 03:14 You know how you got there and you're able to 03:17 sustain yourself there - so it takes the pressure off 03:20 when you realize, "I don't have to be all of that today." 03:23 Today what I have to do is be 03:25 what God has called me to be today and then 03:28 tomorrow something else, but as you go through these 03:31 experiences, you keep building and building and that really 03:36 is what makes up the journey. 03:38 Why are you a Seventh-day Adventist still in this 03:42 time that we live in and you didn't leave the church. 03:45 You're still here... an elder, minister of music. 03:50 You've served many positions in your church. 03:52 What keeps you close to the church and close to God? 03:57 Well, I learned something very important from my brother, 04:06 Cedric Dent, and we were talking about marriage... 04:09 And he said, "You know, what makes me and my wife 04:14 work is that we're afraid of each other." Laughter 04:18 He said, "We're afraid of each other." 04:20 He said, "She knows what not to do to me and I know 04:22 what not to do to her and we respect those boundaries." 04:26 So I guess I'm afraidy cat. 04:29 I'm afraid to disrespect the only hope and stay 04:33 that I know - God. 04:35 Now, it does take some education to learn to appreciate 04:40 who God is. That's right. 04:42 And what He is... He is, you know, in Him we 04:44 move - we have our being. That's right. 04:46 So if someone is teaching you that, which my parents 04:49 did do, then you reach a point where you have to reconcile 04:52 all of that that they put in you. 04:54 And for me, it was an understanding that I cannot 05:00 exist without Him. 05:03 And even though all of the structure that the church 05:07 and what a young person thinks being dedicated to God brings 05:12 can sometimes not feel good, still in the back of my mind, 05:18 the alternative was worse... being without God, 05:24 not being able to be all that He would call me to be. 05:28 I'm so excited because, you know, you went into the field 05:30 of engineering - I have another connection because 05:34 you were my daughter's math teacher and even now, 05:37 tutoring her and I remember getting phone calls 05:41 Arthur and I - "Kim, Erin needs a little bit of fire." 05:44 "Kim, I put her at the front of the classroom." 05:47 "Kim, Arthur" - I mean you were relentless to make sure 05:52 that Erin got everything she did. 05:55 Help me to understand, Brandon, how you were in corporate 05:59 America as an engineer and then becoming an educator 06:03 in Christian education. Right, right. 06:06 Well, I became an engineer because it was a natural for me. 06:10 I was always taking things apart trying to figure out 06:13 how things work, reading the make and do books 06:15 in elementary school and I knew well before high school, 06:20 that I want to be an engineer, and so I went to 06:24 "Cass Technical High School" here in Detroit, 06:27 a renown technical school and college prep, 06:31 and I graduated as valedictorian of the vocational school there. 06:34 Wow, I didn't know that. 06:36 Yes, I was ranked third out of about a thousand students. 06:39 Out of a thousand students? 06:41 About a thousand students in my graduating class, 06:44 I was ranked third and it set me up to go to engineering 06:48 school at the University of Michigan. 06:50 So, you know, God had given me that understanding 06:54 early on that this is the path for you and from there, 06:57 I went into an engineering career 07:01 in the automotive industry. 07:02 Now your second question is: "How do you walk away 07:05 from all that?" Yes 07:07 And how long were you in corporate America? 07:08 I was in corporate America about 28 years. 07:10 Really? Twenty-eight years. 07:12 So how do you walk away from that? 07:14 You know the money... you know, you know the 07:19 status that it brings. Right 07:20 I mean, I'm going to throw some numbers out there 07:22 because it's really not about me, and you know, 07:24 it really glorifies what God did for me. Yes 07:29 I started my career in the mid 80s at about a 07:32 $36,000 a year - $37,000 a year salary which 07:36 which was pretty big money back then. 07:37 Back then - yes. Okay 07:39 But I ended the career at about $200,000 a year, 07:45 and it was more money than I had ever imagined 07:47 that I would make. 07:49 So now is the power of your question... Yes 07:53 "How do you walk away from that?" Okay? 07:57 I remember there was a point where that $200,000 hook 08:02 was in my nose and I couldn't get off the hook. 08:05 Couldn't get off the hook... 08:07 I had really become obsessed with having plenty. 08:12 But at the same time, I did not realize that it was 08:17 competing with my spirituality because I was 08:20 still minister of music; I was still working for the 08:22 church; I was still working in youth ministries; 08:25 I was still running Pathfinders... 08:27 I had all of that going on and so I think the devil 08:31 was using that to make me think, "Spiritually, you're okay." 08:35 But the light went on pretty bright one day 08:40 when I was in my office and a person came into my office 08:43 and said, "You're not supposed to be here." 08:47 And I said, "What are you talking about, I work here?" 08:49 He said, "Isn't this your Sabbath?" 08:52 And I said, "Oh, it's the sunset?" It was Friday. Oh my! 08:57 I walked out of my office and I looked out of the window, 08:59 it was DARK! It was dark... 09:02 Your coworkers knew! 09:03 My coworkers knew because I actually had a Bible class 09:06 at lunchtime and I taught the Sabbath. 09:08 And I felt so bad and I looked at this guy and I said, 09:12 "I've been a bad witness, I'm so sorry?" 09:15 He said, "No, no, I'm... you know, it doesn't mean 09:18 anything to me, I think it means something to you, 09:19 I just thought I'd let you know." 09:21 And so when he walked out of my office, 09:24 the Holy Spirit said to me, "I know you did not intend to 09:27 violate My Sabbath, you were caught off-guard, 09:30 but do understand, Brandon, even though you don't 09:34 intend to miss out on heaven when I come again, 09:37 you're going to be sitting right here caught off-guard... 09:40 ...My, my, my... And you're going to miss it." 09:42 And I said, "Then Lord, get me out, get me out." 09:47 And I began to pray, "Lord, how do I walk away, 09:50 how do I make this transition?" 09:51 And I made that transition in 2010 which was at the lowest 09:55 point in the recession in the auto industry in this area. 09:59 So that meant if I walked away, there were chances that 10:02 I would be unemployed for a long time. Yes 10:06 So I wasn't going to just do that... 10:08 So I said, "Lord, You're going to have to help me 10:09 migrate to the next thing that you have for me." 10:12 But what about your wife... when you went home and you 10:16 told her what had happened, what was her 10:19 feedback about that? 10:20 Well, she was obviously concerned, she was wondering 10:23 "Well what are we gonna do, what's next?" 10:25 And I said, "I'm gonna run my own engineering 10:27 consulting company" which I did do for quite a few years, 10:33 and I think that she trusted the fact that if God was leading #1 10:37 and #2, He had gifted me with a lot of good financial 10:40 abilities that somehow it's gonna find a way 10:43 to work and partnership with God to make sure that 10:46 we would be okay. Yes 10:47 You know, I'm a hands-on type of guy, I'm an engineer, 10:51 I like to work out solutions and she has seen me do 10:55 that for 30 plus years. 11:00 How many years you all have been married? 32 years. 11:02 Thirty-two years, congratulations. 11:04 So that gets me a little bit of a resume with her. 11:08 Right, right - you can trust that. 11:09 That's right. Okay, you know... 11:11 So then what happened? 11:13 Well, I had a client call me and say his check had not cleared. 11:20 so I was working in my yard, I was working from home. 11:23 I was living the life that I had always dreamed of 11:26 because I was working like a dog in corporate America. 11:29 And so I said, "Okay, I'll go and I'll check my inbox 11:33 and see if we have it." 11:36 We had the check, I took it straight to 11:39 the bank and I deposited it. 11:42 While I was standing in the bank lot, the Lord told me 11:46 ... He focused my eyes on a training center that prepared 11:51 kids for ACT and SAT and He said, "I need you to go 11:55 over there and teach math and science." 11:58 And I said, "Where did that come from?" 12:00 You know, it's not on my radar and then the voice 12:06 said again, "I need you to do this." 12:08 And I was like, "Ah nah, that's just me THINKING to myself 12:13 about stuff that really I'm not interested in," 12:15 and when I said that... that's didn't make sense. 12:18 We don't tell ourselves stuff that we don't want to hear. 12:22 If you're hearing something and it's not you, 12:25 it's either God or it's Satan, okay? 12:28 And Satan is not going to tell you to do something positive 12:30 like train young people That's right! 12:32 And so then I knew, I said, "Okay Lord, I'm in a muddy 12:35 T- shirt and jeans, let me go home and get myself fixed up." 12:40 And the voice said, "I want you to go just like you are." Go now 12:43 And I said, "Oh that will work, cause they won't 12:46 take me like this." Laughter 12:48 And I went over there and they took me! And they took you. 12:52 And I couldn't figure that thing out, I scratched 12:54 my head all the way home. 12:56 And so I did that for about 2 years and then in the middle 13:01 of the school year, Christmas break, I got a call from my 13:06 local Adventist Academy, Peterson-Warren Academy, 13:09 and they said, "Our math teacher will not be returning 13:14 in the New Year - we don't have a high school math program. 13:18 We know that you have engineering degrees 13:21 and you're competent in math and the state will accept that, 13:25 and allow you conditionally to teach math." Yes 13:29 "We can get the other credentials that you need 13:35 conditionally." 13:36 And I said, "Lord, why are these people trying to get in the way 13:41 of me building my business?" 13:43 Now I did what you said and I went to this other place 13:47 and I started doing this tutoring, but I can't keep 13:49 adding that because that's gonna crowd out 13:51 my business and this is how I live. Right 13:52 And the Holy Spirit said, "I only sent you there 13:56 to prepare you for this call." 13:59 So I took the call and I've been there 14:03 what 5 years? Five years. 14:05 Five years later, gave me the opportunity to get a better 14:10 relationship with Erin and you mentioned, you know, 14:18 getting the call and I had to put her in the front of the 14:20 the class sitting next to me and this, that and the other, 14:23 but what you probably did NOT know is that I was that 14:27 same student back in the day, my desk would start off 14:30 in the rank and file like everybody else, 14:32 and it took each teacher every year about 2 weeks to 14:35 figure out that my desk needed to be next to theirs. 14:38 And so, I got it, I got Erin and I was able to pour into her. 14:44 So what I loved about it was, when Erin was away 14:46 in boarding school, how we reached out to you. 14:49 She was having difficulty in her math class, 14:52 and she took the exam because you assisted her. 14:55 Then they accused her of cheating and they wanted her 14:58 to take the entire exam over again and we reached out to 15:01 you once again and you said, "No, have them give her 15:05 a few questions; show the work because we didn't understand 15:08 why they didn't even require the work, 15:11 but each teacher is different. 15:13 But you were there for us, you, your wife, Alice, 15:16 your entire family and we really appreciate 15:19 how you were there for Erin in a very difficult time. 15:23 Another thing that you helped Arthur and I with 15:25 was our finances. 15:27 We were working in a very small arena and you said 15:29 if we do A, B, C and D, our finances would grow. 15:34 But the one thing you really wanted us to do 15:37 and help us understand to give to Christian Seventh-day 15:40 Adventist education. 15:42 I was like - you know, I need to buy some shoes and things, 15:45 okay... and you said "No, help children go to school, 15:50 and the Lord will bless you." 15:52 So we did what you told us to do and, indeed, 15:56 the Lord blessed us, oh, 10 times over, 16:00 and then you also guided us what to do with our finances... 16:03 how to invest and why is it that we don't want to 16:07 listen to our own people? What is that? 16:10 Um, well now that's just a whole nother... 16:14 That's a whole nother program! 16:15 Yeah, a social phenomenon. 16:17 We don't want people in our business. 16:18 We don't want people to know. Right 16:20 And you came over and I did like this... 16:22 Here is our books, our finances, our checkbook, 16:26 you went through everything and said, "Okay, this is what 16:29 we need to do because if you don't do this, 16:31 in 10 years, you're going to be broke." Right 16:33 And I was like... you know. 16:35 Well let me pay you a compliment... 16:37 You and Arthur a compliment... What I've seen is that 16:42 you break that mold of not trusting yourselves 16:47 your resources, your direction with the advice of 16:52 people that look like you. Okay? 16:55 For some reason - I won't try to explain this social 16:58 phenomenon, we seem to have a less regard for the advice, 17:04 the skills and the abilities of our fellow African Americans. 17:09 And one thing that has been very admirable about 17:12 you and Arthur is that you did not fall into that category. 17:16 I have seen you over and over and over give your business 17:19 to fellow African Americans. Yes 17:22 And some that may have even really needed the business, 17:24 I don't know if that was you just ministering to them, 17:27 and say, "Well if they mess this up, 17:29 we'll give them a little something to play with, 17:30 and if they mess this up, it won't hurt us." 17:31 But let us take this opportunity to see if we can bless them. 17:35 And, of course, God's word is true, right? Yes it is true. 17:39 You give, it will be given back to you... 17:41 Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over! 17:44 There you go. No, don't get me preaching! 17:46 All right and even when we were Family Life directors of the 17:49 Conference, you took care of all of our supplies, T-shirts; 17:54 we could have went to other businesses and Arthur and I 17:57 both agreed - Let Brandon handle everything, 18:00 and the work was absolutely beautiful. Yeah 18:03 And we need to support and help each other. 18:05 Let's talk about being, you know, a husband, a father, 18:10 a grandfather - how do you balance all of that? 18:13 Well first of all, the people that you're in relationship with 18:18 and maybe this is a novel perspective, 18:21 they're part of the balancing act, right? That's right! 18:25 Sometimes when I want to, you know, overdo the 18:31 husband role with my wife, she'll help me balance it. 18:35 She'll give me a perspective, right? 18:38 I remember, I used to like to plan these dream vacations, 18:41 and you probably do the same thing where you got 18:43 this scheduled - we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this, 18:45 we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this, 18:48 and Alice just wants to relax a little bit. Right? 18:52 And she would say, "Hey, you know what? 18:54 "Today, let's just sit around the pool." 18:56 I'm thinking, "But the theme parks, but this, but that, 19:00 but that big diner." 19:01 "Let's just relax around the pool." 19:04 So when you're in a relationship with other people, 19:06 if you can balance it a little better, if you also 19:09 take some clues from them. Right? 19:12 I like that! Children are the same way. 19:14 They reach a point where they don't want to be 19:17 bothered right now, given that space, you know. 19:20 So if you try to insist on your agenda, especially if you're 19:25 A- type personality, like me... Yes, and me... Laughter 19:28 Hey see, I was going to be self-condemning. Laughter 19:30 I don't put that on you, but confession is good for the soul. 19:33 Yes it is! 19:35 But you will wear yourself out doing that. Yes you will. 19:37 I know that my general manager of "Dare to Dream" 19:42 just said something to me last night, Dr. Lewis, 19:45 she said to me, "You know, I don't want you to have a 19:48 relapse; I don't want you to burn yourself out, 19:51 you've got to pace yourself, you know, 19:53 so that we could look at the longevity of "Live to Be Well." 19:57 How can you do a program called "Live to Be Well" 19:59 when you're not well. Right 20:01 So I took it to heart and I went home and I really 20:03 prayed over her words. 20:05 So I thank the Lord for her ministering to me last night 20:07 because sometimes you have to say, "No," you have to just 20:10 sit back and look at your situation and reassess yourself. 20:16 So I use three words, I use: "Accountability, Assessment 20:20 and Value" and I use them with all my clients. 20:24 But you have 3 children, you have 2 sons and you have 20:28 a beautiful baby girl. 20:30 Well, you know, it's been a very rich experience, 20:33 and I just find it phenomenal how these people can 20:37 come into the world who you've never known ever before 20:40 in your life and in a few short years, 20:43 they mean EVERYTHING to you, your babies. 20:47 And so I was engaged with them on many fronts, 20:53 their athletics - I mentioned earlier that I was their 20:57 Pathfinder leader, but I became the Pathfinder leader because 21:03 they got in Pathfinders and I wanted to be a 21:06 part of that experience with them. 21:08 And so, we played basketball together, you know, 21:13 I was coaching and then when they got older, 21:16 and got in the men's league, I will still thinking that I 21:19 had enough youth to play, so I played with them. 21:22 There was some overlap there. There was some overlap - okay. 21:24 And so being engaged with them and what they like, 21:27 and what they want to do is what worked for me. 21:32 And it was kind of interesting because my grandson 21:35 was over and he was playing basketball and I was 21:38 trying to teach him plays and at some point in time, 21:42 he said, "Grandpa, can we just play basketball?" 21:45 Did he say that? Did Jeremiah say that? 21:46 Yeah, yeah. It kinda hurt my feelings because I really 21:49 wanted to teach him the plays. 21:52 But I had to learn to engage him in a way 21:56 that worked for both him AND me. 21:58 It can't be just for me. Right? 22:00 So you support Seventh-day Adventist Christian education; 22:02 your children have done well; now you have just recently 22:08 gone through something. Right 22:10 You know, let's talk about that. 22:12 Well, I just lost my father. Yes, I'm so sorry. 22:16 ...On the Fourth of July, so these holidays 22:19 sometimes they get marked and the devil tries to 22:23 to do that because he thinks that that will keep us 22:26 perpetually down every time that day rolls around and I'm 22:32 inclined to look at it differently that it can be 22:38 a marker that reminds us of the love and the greatness... 22:43 so that when I see those fireworks going off, 22:46 right? - for me it will mean something different than for 22:50 other people - it will be a reminder of the greatness 22:53 and the love that my father bestowed on us. 22:55 How old was your father? 22:56 My father was 93! That is amazing! 23:00 Amazing, yeah. Amazing. 23:02 And in his right mind. In his right mind. 23:04 You know, you texted me, your wife, Alice, 23:06 text me and you said to me, "This might be difficult 23:10 for you to come, but I think you need to come see dad," 23:14 because he was my spiritual father, so I was 6 years old. 23:17 And I'm going to tell this quick story... 23:19 I used to talk a lot, I don't know why, 23:21 you know, people might think I talk a lot... 23:23 You said "used to." I used to! Okay. 23:25 And you think he got the victory? 23:27 I got the victory over that. 23:28 So you're going to be fine with that one? 23:30 And I walked up to him and he said to me... 23:32 "Little girl, you are so talkative, 23:35 do you EVER stop talking?" 23:37 And I looked at him like, "Who are YOU?" 23:40 And so I went home, but after dinner, we went back, 23:44 and my mother said, "When you go back and see Sam Dent, 23:48 you tell Brother Dent, you are not talkative, 23:51 but you are loquacious." 23:52 So I went back and I went and I found him and I said... 23:55 "Brother Dent, (I pulled on his jacket) he looked down at me 23:59 like - "WHAT is it?" 24:00 And I said, "I'm not talkative, I'm loquacious!" 24:04 He just said, "Well you have some potential, all right?" 24:07 So when I got your text, I ended my day, 24:13 I came right out to see him and he said to me... 24:17 "Kim," and I said, "Hi dad," and he gave me some kisses, 24:23 and he whispered to me, he said, "I'm tired Kim." 24:27 And I said, "I know dad," you know. 24:29 But prior to that, people would ask me all the time... 24:33 "How are you?" after Arthur passed. 24:35 And I would say day-by-day, I saw dad at the baby blessing, 24:41 and dad said, "You know Kim, how are you?" 24:43 He was the first person I answered that question. 24:46 I said, "Not good." 24:48 He said, "All right, so what are we going to do about it?" 24:52 "What can we do, where are we going to go from this point on?" 24:56 And you saw me, I sat there and I talked with him. 24:59 I thank the Lord for the time because I have known 25:03 him all my life and he told me, "You're going to go to college, 25:08 when I came back he said, "Okay grad school." 25:10 He said, "All right Miss Loquacious, you're going 25:12 to go to your PhDs." Right 25:15 But on his 90th birthday celebration, I got a call 25:18 from you and your wife, you know, to speak... 25:20 I mean, all the young people that was in that circle, 25:23 I was so honored to stand on that stage to bring words, 25:28 you know, truly a great man. 25:30 How is your heart, your heart? 25:32 Well, you know, it's heavy. 25:35 But, you know, until you go through this, 25:39 you don't get a full appreciation 25:41 for how the Lord carries you through. 25:43 Still I have my moments, but for the most part, 25:47 I'm encouraged. Yes 25:49 I'm still inspired, I have... I was going to say 93 years of 25:55 investment, but I ain't that old. Uh huh - no, no. 25:58 Excuse my French, but 50 some odd years... Is that right? 26:02 I was going to say 40, if you're there, really?. 26:04 Well, I'll take that. Are you old as me? No, okay. 26:06 Leave that alone. Leave that alone. Laughter 26:09 But I have that, I have that and he's instilled in me, 26:12 and I can pay that forward, I've been paying that forward. 26:15 We talked earlier about how I do what I do and where I 26:21 get it from and even I'm inspired by many people... 26:24 my wife, my children, but also my father. Your father. 26:27 And I'm able to take a lot of that and pay that forward, 26:31 and that is a good source for why I do what I do. 26:35 Well you're heading on a new journey now, you know 26:38 God has a new direction for you and your family, 26:41 your mother - how is your mom doing? 26:44 Mom is hanging in there, I spoke to her 26:46 and said, "Mom, how are you doing?" 26:49 And she said, "I have decided that I am going to press on." 26:53 Press on! Press on. Press on. 26:55 You know, I was singing with dad - "Pass Me Not Oh 26:58 Gentle Savior," and you walked in and Alice walked in 27:01 because I remember hearing the hymns as a little girl, 27:04 and he would be up directing and singing those songs, 27:07 I know that we have something wonderful to look forward to 27:12 the first resurrection - "The trumpet shall sound 27:15 and the dead in Christ shall rise first," and I am 27:18 looking ward to that. 27:20 Elder Brandon Dent, I cannot thank you enough 27:23 for taking time throughout all of this, planning the services, 27:28 you got a new direction in your life, you and your wife, 27:31 your family, but you took time to come on 27:33 "Dare to Dream," but you're no stranger to "Dare to Dream." 27:36 No, no, I'm not. You know, and we love you, 27:39 we appreciate you and all I can say to you now is... "Press On! 27:43 I'm able to press on and I have to get a shout out to my wife 27:48 because she has done so much, she's done more than half 27:53 of what we needed to do to get through this time... 27:55 And it's been a blessing to me and it's given me 27:59 a little relief and a little opportunity to even be able to 28:02 be on the program with you today. 28:04 I want to thank you, Brandon, and I want to thank 28:08 all of you for joining us on "Live to Be Well" 28:11 God bless... |
Revised 2018-01-30