Living to Be Well

No More Fear

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

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Series Code: LTBW

Program Code: LTBW000014A


00:35 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim
00:37 and welcome to Live to be Well.
00:39 How many times have we seen on Social Media, television,
00:46 children who are taken by someone
00:50 and come to find out... it's a parent.
00:53 Well, my guest today is here to share
00:57 some of the concerns that they went through
01:00 and the experience
01:01 at the time, she was like six... seven... years old
01:05 and she was taken by her father.
01:08 I want to talk about: No More Fears
01:11 and I want to welcome my guest, Rhiana and Sherese,
01:14 mother and daughter, "Hi. "
01:15 Hi.
01:17 Well, welcome to Live to be Well,
01:18 thank you for coming on.
01:20 You're welcome.
01:22 How are you doing little one?
01:23 I'm good.
01:25 Well, listen now, let's talk about how you met Dr. Kim.
01:27 Mom called looking for a therapist for you
01:31 you know, do you think it's strange
01:34 for little people to have a therapist?
01:37 No, because kids can go through a lot too.
01:40 Oh yes, so, let's talk about what you went through
01:43 that... the reason why mom made the call,
01:45 can you tell us about what happened
01:47 when you first came to see me.
01:48 Well, my mom didn't want my dad to know that we have moved
01:53 because of some things
01:55 and then, when I told him...
01:58 but I didn't tell him where we moved
02:01 and then when I was in second grade,
02:03 he picked me up from school which was surprising
02:07 and then I went with him
02:10 and then he had said that I got to call your mama
02:14 and tell her that... that I got you
02:18 and then she needs to tell me where you're at
02:21 because... so I could drop you off.
02:23 So, at that point I was a little nervous
02:26 because of what my mama had told me.
02:29 So, then we had went to the gas station...
02:33 he bought me snacks and we went to Ballou.
02:36 Then he took me to the park, we played
02:39 and then we went to the River Walk
02:41 and stood by the water.
02:44 Then, after that, it was like eight or seven...
02:48 and we went to go get some food,
02:51 so, when we went to get some food,
02:53 we went back to the store and then he let me get some snacks
02:58 so then we went behind an abandoned store
03:02 and he told me we could sleep there
03:04 and we slept in a car.
03:05 So then, he had said, "I got something to tell you"
03:09 and I had said, "I got something to tell you"
03:11 so then he said that I need to go drop you off with your mama
03:16 and then, I was like,
03:17 "That's exactly what I was about to say. "
03:19 And then, that's what happened.
03:21 And then he took you back home.
03:22 So, in your mind, did you think your father
03:25 was going to take you away from your mother?
03:28 No, because if I asked him to bring me back,
03:30 he would have done it.
03:32 But you knew something was wrong
03:33 because you were behind that... it was an abandoned building?
03:37 Yeah.
03:38 Okay, what did your mother tell you,
03:40 I mean, when you went with your father,
03:43 did she ever give you some type of code
03:45 or to call her if something went wrong?
03:48 Did you have a cell phone?
03:49 No.
03:51 Could you use your father's cell phone?
03:52 Yeah.
03:53 Did you get a chance to talk to your mother that day?
03:55 No.
03:57 Did you ask him to call your mother?
03:59 He said he was going to talk to her, so...
04:01 But so, you believed that but it never happened.
04:04 I... yeah.
04:05 Okay.
04:07 So, do you feel that your father
04:12 would have put you in a bad situation
04:16 by allowing you to sleep there behind that building
04:20 because that would have been pretty dangerous.
04:21 Um... yeah.
04:24 Because you were going to be sleeping in the car.
04:27 Yeah.
04:29 Okay, had you ever slept in the car overnight before?
04:31 No, unless I was traveling.
04:33 Okay, unless you were traveling.
04:35 Yeah.
04:37 My goodness, you do know how to give the right answer,
04:39 now, I've got to come up with some good questions here for you
04:42 all right, so mom, what was going through your mind
04:45 when this situation took place?
04:46 Pause.
04:48 Um, I was in total frantic mode
04:53 because I was going through my normal routine
04:57 got off of work, went to Latchkey...
04:58 get to the Latchkey room like,
05:01 "Okay, where's Rhiana?"
05:02 And they're like, "She's gone. "
05:05 And it was the kids...
05:07 when I asked, "Who did she leave with?"
05:10 And they described him.
05:11 And going out of the school... talking to the staff...
05:14 everyone said, "They had a feeling"
05:16 you know, where something was "off"
05:18 but because she was with him and was freely going with him,
05:23 no one stopped them.
05:26 So, someone had tried to say, "Hey... "
05:28 And he brushed it off...
05:30 so it was like, "I knew something was wrong"
05:34 was all their responses, so he had been blocked,
05:37 so, I went into my blocked messages in my phone
05:40 and then, that's when I found out he had her,
05:43 he did leave the voice mail.
05:44 What he was doing was blackmailing me
05:47 and holding her hostage...
05:48 for me to tell him where we live.
05:50 What?
05:52 And I refused to tell him where we live
05:54 which is the point of, when she was stating...
05:56 he was saying to her, "Where do you live?
05:59 Where we moved...
06:00 He had been in and out...
06:02 six months here... three months there...
06:06 so,
06:07 I didn't feel like he needed to know where we lived
06:10 at that point because he had actually just did something
06:13 in another relationship
06:15 and I didn't feel that it was safe
06:17 and what he did was wrong
06:18 so, for my own security, I moved from where we was at
06:23 to not letting him be known where we were
06:26 but that day he did tell me,
06:28 "Well, you ain't going to get her back. "
06:30 Kim: He told you that.
06:31 Yeah, "If you don't tell me where you live,
06:33 then I'm not taking her to anybody else's house. "
06:35 So, that was the situation.
06:37 So, it was either tell him where I live
06:40 or stand my ground,
06:42 I called the police...
06:45 the police can't do anything when you just have a normal...
06:49 General Order...
06:52 like child support order,
06:53 the stipulations in the General Order
06:56 just says... "stipulated" or "time"
06:59 or not stipulated... just a general statement
07:04 basically an agreement between parents.
07:06 So the police stated... they couldn't do anything
07:09 until after he had taken her for over 24 hours.
07:11 Hmmm...
07:12 So, even... wherever he had her whether it was unsafe or not
07:16 so, he did have her in a car, making several threats to me
07:19 you know, he would take her, kill me...
07:22 and let my mama raise her and...
07:24 Kim: He threated to kill you...
07:26 Yeah... yeah... so, the very next...
07:29 he did eventually take her to my mother's house
07:32 after about 10:30... 11 o'clock that night
07:34 but the threats that were made over the phone
07:36 and what he would do and...
07:39 she says, she was okay sleeping in the car
07:41 and I bet he was having a breakdown...
07:44 I was at home by myself...
07:45 one of my friends raced over and came with me...
07:48 I didn't feel like I had no breath in my body,
07:50 but it was at that point that I just knew that...
07:53 that my peace was where I live
07:54 and I was not going to let him know where I lived at
07:57 because I know that he loved her
07:59 so I knew that he was not going to physically harm her,
08:04 you know,
08:05 so determining the better of two evils...
08:10 my peace is my home...
08:11 and I have refused to give that up.
08:13 Kim: And to this day he doesn't know where you live.
08:15 He does not know where we are at... to this day...
08:18 So, Rhiana, did he ever ask you where did you live...
08:21 did he try to get that information out of you?
08:24 Um, a couple of times, yeah, but one day...
08:26 like when... it was like the end of third grade,
08:29 we were leaving... then it was like this car like his car
08:33 and then it was rolling down and it just stopped
08:36 so, I was kind of worried like, was that him or something.
08:41 Hmmm... but was it?
08:42 I don't know.
08:44 No, we don't know,
08:45 so, you've seen your father since that time.
08:47 Um, yes.
08:48 And there's been no problems,
08:51 have you been left alone with him?
08:53 Yeah, but my mom was upstairs.
08:56 I mean... so you were somewhere else,
08:59 not at your home but somewhere else.
09:00 Yeah, when I was in Florida,
09:02 me and my sister were talking to him.
09:04 Okay, but, in Detroit, have you...
09:07 have you seen him over the last...
09:09 Well, at Christmas.
09:10 At Christmas... were you left alone with him?
09:12 Yes.
09:13 And nothing happened.
09:14 Shaking her head...
09:16 Did he ask you, "Where do you live Rhiana,
09:17 where do you live?" Rhiana: No.
09:19 Kim: All right, but you knew and mommy had told you,
09:22 "Don't ever tell him where we live. "
09:23 Yes.
09:24 Okay... so, how did... is he...
09:27 was he on the list to take her out of school?
09:31 Originally, yes, but the school stated that
09:34 when they went through the new school year,
09:37 when I had removed him of off the list,
09:39 that something happened with their computer systems
09:44 so it had converted back to all the children's original files.
09:48 No! so his name to release was on that old System.
09:54 Mom: Right. Kim: Okay.
09:55 Mom: Because I still... from the beginning...
09:58 I still had sole guardianship of her.
10:01 But he has rights as a parent to see her
10:03 so with the school...
10:05 "No, you can't pick up and drop off. "
10:08 So you have the physical custody but he has visitation rights.
10:11 Originally... now, no...
10:14 now no... now, the court order is: Supervised Visitation.
10:18 Hmmm... hmmm...
10:19 At a Court approved agency.
10:23 I see... I see.
10:24 So, let me ask you, what is it like...
10:28 we've had mother and son raising sons,
10:31 what is it like being a single mom?
10:33 You know, you... born and raised in Detroit?
10:36 Yes.
10:37 So, what is it like raising Rhiana
10:40 and I have the perspective because I'm her therapist,
10:44 yes... and we've had some very straight talks, all right,
10:48 before you answer that question,
10:50 what was one of your mama's main concerns...
10:53 your mother's concern,
10:54 when she brought you into Counseling
10:56 after the "father incident," you know,
10:58 what were some of the concerns she had?
11:00 Sneaking and lying.
11:02 Sneaking and lying... sneaking what?
11:05 Candy.
11:06 Hmmm... hmmm...
11:08 Food.
11:09 Food but why... don't be looking at me like, "food" like, okay
11:11 all right, "Food" all right,
11:14 and lying... why would you lie?
11:16 Because I thought I would just get in trouble.
11:20 Did you tell her the truth?
11:22 So, it's better just to tell a lie
11:24 well, you know better now
11:25 that lying is not good, it just makes things worse
11:29 all right, what about cleaning up that room?
11:32 Um, I would just... when my mama told me to clean up my room,
11:37 I just never do it
11:39 and I just start it and never finish it
11:43 then, I just go to sleep.
11:45 So, what was that word we learned
11:47 in our therapy session this past week?
11:50 Po... kay... pro... pro... ca... cation...
11:53 Procrastination.
11:55 Procrastination...
11:56 Procrastination...
11:57 Procrastination.
11:59 And what does "Procrastination" mean?
12:01 To never say...
12:03 you go keep doing it and do it then.
12:05 And it never gets what?
12:06 Done.
12:08 Never gets done... you keep putting it off, you know,
12:10 and how many times did mommy say, "Rhiana lazy...
12:12 Rhiana lazy... Dr. Logan, I need her to have her sessions"
12:17 all right.
12:18 And so, working with you,
12:22 I've seen you have high moments... low moments...
12:25 and you and I have gone toe-to-toe, haven't we?
12:29 And you knew you did not want to make Dr. Logan upset, right?
12:32 So, I appreciate it because you went home
12:35 Sunday... I saw you... Sunday,
12:37 you know, for a therapy session,
12:39 you went home and you cleaned up.
12:41 Now, you recently came from somewhere, where did you go?
12:44 To Florida.
12:46 You went to Florida...
12:47 and mom came home and your room was a mess
12:50 but she still let you go what... what...
12:53 isn't that a great mom? Rhiana: Yes.
12:55 But you think mom's going to continue to let you do things
13:00 if you don't obey her?
13:02 Rhiana: No. Kim: No...
13:03 and do you think it pleases God? Rhiana: No.
13:06 And you and I... we talk a lot about the Lord
13:08 and what the Lord expects of our children,
13:11 "Suffer the little children"
13:13 I have a Scripture for you,
13:14 "For He has not given me the spirit of fear,
13:18 but of love, power and a sound mind. "
13:21 2nd Timothy 1:7.
13:23 God does not want you to live in fear.
13:25 He doesn't want you to look down the block
13:27 or worry about someone taking you
13:29 but He does want you to have a sound mind.
13:32 Can you tell me what it means to have a sound mind?
13:34 No.
13:36 Okay, so God gives you a good mind,
13:39 that means He wants you to make good decisions,
13:42 so, a "sound mind" means you're not all over the place
13:45 all right, some people will say,
13:47 "I'm not functioning... "
13:49 some people will say,
13:51 "Well, you're crazy to be going to therapy. "
13:53 Do you think it's crazy to go to the therapist?
13:55 No.
13:57 No, because... what good... what is my role in your life?
14:01 To make me better in life.
14:03 Oooh, I like that answer...
14:06 I'll just get a blurb over the couch, all right.
14:09 To make you better but I can't do it...
14:12 I'm just a vessel for the Lord, it's between you and the Lord
14:17 you have to surrender to the Lord
14:18 and you have to be obedient
14:20 because the Bible says to honor thy father and thy mother
14:23 so that your days may be long upon the land
14:27 that the Lord thy God giveth thee.
14:28 That is a command... so, God wants you to obey
14:31 so, do you ever talk back to mom or did you used to... used to?
14:35 Well, I never talked back
14:37 but I just get like an attitude and start stomping.
14:41 And you're stomping... and then you can...
14:43 oh, I have never seen anybody who can roll their eyes like you
14:46 "Oooh, can you do that for me?"
14:47 Like, hmmm... hmmm... you're getting...
14:50 oh wait... oh Rhiana, this is you...
14:53 Kim is demonstrating the look...
14:56 oh... I'd be like... "Ooooh"
14:59 it takes everything in me to power the Lord not to get up
15:02 because I don't want to get a case,
15:04 I don't want a case, okay,
15:05 you know,
15:07 so, I mean...
15:08 so, where did you learn to do your eye movement like that?
15:12 Rhiana: Well... well... Kim: Be honest.
15:16 In school, it's a whole bunch of bullying and stuff
15:20 so, I kind of had to stick up for myself.
15:23 Oh really? So, rolling your eyes is one of them?
15:26 Yeah.
15:27 Really, does that help... does that work?
15:29 Yeah, because people will be talking about
15:31 your family members and you just want to walk away
15:35 but then, they keep talking about...
15:36 "You're scared" and stuff.
15:38 So you just give them that look... that "Rhiana look"
15:40 do you have a reputation in school for that look?
15:42 No.
15:43 Now, let's talk about an incident,
15:47 Mom, let's go back,
15:48 remember the incident with the "B" word...
15:52 and you got a text... oh my goodness...
15:55 now, in schools today... back in our day...
15:59 it used to be... you know,
16:01 "What's up girl?" "How you doing girl?"
16:03 "What... " you know, "You're my girl"
16:05 now, it's "What's up mmm... "
16:08 "What's up... "
16:10 so, you saw this text from a mother
16:12 that Rhiana had sent the word back to the girl
16:17 but the girl had texted Rhiana, but the girl was smart...
16:20 she deleted her message... all right,
16:22 now we're talking... what grade here?
16:24 She deleted hers too
16:26 but not before the mama got the screen shot...
16:29 All right then, she screams at you, all right,
16:31 so, do they use this kind of language in your school?
16:35 They curse a lot?
16:36 Yeah, it started like, at the end of second grade.
16:40 What?
16:42 You started hearing these bad words.
16:43 Nodding her head.
16:45 And you knew they were bad words.
16:47 You know, but would you use it
16:49 even in a text, on your mother's phone?
16:51 Because she...
16:52 Was it on your phone or your mother's phone?
16:54 My phone... she just kept calling me that word.
16:56 So you felt... the only way you could defend yourself
16:59 was to call her back that word.
17:01 Yeah.
17:03 Yeah, do you think the Lord was pleased?
17:05 No.
17:06 Do you think the Lord likes us to use profanity or curse?
17:09 Rhiana: No.
17:10 Kim: No, those are not God's words,
17:12 you know, those...
17:13 He doesn't like those words at all.
17:15 We have a lot of words in the dictionary, right?
17:17 If this was a dictionary, "Wow! look at all these great words"
17:20 okay, I'm going to give you a word... you ready?
17:23 Okay, the word is "affable" can you say that word?
17:26 "Affable. "
17:28 Have you ever heard that word? Rhiana: No.
17:29 Kim: Okay, affable means likeable.
17:31 Isn't that a great word?
17:32 Nodding head.
17:34 So, I will say, "Rhiana, you are so affable. "
17:37 Okay, but you're going to saying it back,
17:39 "Dr. Kim, you're so affable. "
17:41 "Dr. Kim, you're so affable... "
17:43 Oh, thank you so much, I agree with that.
17:45 Okay, I'm going to give you another word.
17:47 "Rhiana, at times, your mother can be very pensive. "
17:51 You know, just think a minute, "Pensive. "
17:54 Stress.
17:55 Well, you know that will do it, okay.
17:59 Yes, because you know you can stress her,
18:03 you're such a little person to bring such thoughts sometimes
18:06 but "Pensive" means "Quiet"
18:08 so, when you see your mother get quiet,
18:11 that's a red flag isn't it?
18:13 What happens when your mother gets quiet and shuts down?
18:17 Um, I just feel like, "Okay, maybe there's a 'yes'."
18:20 Really?
18:22 Hmmm... hmmm... but when she's upset...
18:24 But then, when she gives me a look, I just go up to my room.
18:28 What does her look look like?
18:30 The look.
18:31 That's mama's look?
18:34 Can you look at the camera, look over the camera right there
18:37 look at this camera right here and give us that look.
18:38 Laughter.
18:40 That's mama's look, huh?
18:42 Nodding.
18:43 Okay, so you know, "I need to leave mom alone
18:46 and go to my room and be still" all right.
18:49 Why were you taking food,
18:50 I mean, you can have food, you live there,
18:53 that's your home, mom feeds you...
18:55 Because I just needed a snack.
18:57 You decided to take it because you wanted it.
19:00 Yeah.
19:01 But it got out of hand
19:03 because you started taking mama's peanuts,
19:04 going into her purse...
19:05 you started doing all kinds of things,
19:07 just helping yourself to everything...
19:09 mummy couldn't lay anything down with you trying to eat it
19:13 you know, was that right?
19:14 No.
19:16 How would you like it if your little cousins would come over
19:18 and they would take something that didn't belong to them,
19:21 you wouldn't like that, would you?
19:22 Um... no, because
19:25 all my cousins are boys so I would just smack 'em.
19:28 Oh my goodness, in the name of Jesus,
19:31 you smack your little cousins?
19:33 Rhiana: Yeah. Mom: She doesn't.
19:35 Yes, I do, I smack the twins.
19:37 Laughter.
19:38 You smack the twins... how old are they?
19:42 They just turned seven Monday...
19:44 What? and you are how old?
19:46 Nine.
19:47 Okay, because you're just a little bit older, all right.
19:49 Well, Rhiana, see now, we've got to deal with that in counseling
19:52 because I didn't know that
19:53 see, so, you can't go around smacking people,
19:57 you know, because if they...
19:59 because people will smack you back.
20:01 But they took... so... they can handle it.
20:04 Oh my Lord...
20:05 Laughter.
20:06 Rhiana, okay, but in the real world,
20:09 outside... you can't do that...
20:11 in middle school... high school...
20:13 you know, you can't do that, okay,
20:16 if somebody jumps you...
20:17 But what if you got to take the consequences?
20:19 But... okay... but... you can't be at the store
20:22 and somebody cuts in front of you,
20:24 you're going to smack somebody?
20:26 No, I'll get my spot back.
20:27 How are you going to get your spot back.
20:29 I'm going to cut in front of him.
20:31 But... but... can I say this?
20:32 This is what I do... when I see somebody with one item
20:36 and I may have 20 items,
20:38 I let them go in front of me.
20:39 You let them go in front of you. Kim: That's right.
20:41 But what if you only got one item
20:43 and they got more items then they cut?
20:46 Let them cut because what would Jesus do?
20:47 Why?
20:49 What would Jesus do?
20:50 Rhiana: He would just let it go by.
20:52 Kim: He'd let it go by,
20:53 so, therefore, if Jesus could let it go by,
20:55 what are we supposed to do?
20:57 Let it go by...?
20:58 Let is go by even though we're human
21:00 and it's hard sometimes,
21:02 but we have to have a character of Jesus.
21:05 But what if you're in a rush?
21:07 You have to wait... you have to wait,
21:09 you should have left a little bit earlier, all right,
21:12 but you can't just cut in front of people
21:15 or... just like you waited for me to do the program
21:18 and I really appreciate that
21:20 and that was kindness,
21:21 God is going to repay you for kindness...
21:24 for the ministry you're doing here today
21:26 you know, you ever heard the saying?
21:28 "You reap what you sow"
21:30 mama tell her what "You reap what you sow" means.
21:33 She knows what it means because today what happened?
21:35 Kim: Oh...
21:37 We stopped just to get something to eat
21:38 and our food was paid for.
21:40 What?
21:41 And my mama... she was talking about her
21:46 because the lady was taking, like, 20... 30... minutes...
21:50 It wasn't 20... 30 minutes...
21:52 we were sitting in a drive-through
21:54 so you can see the lady was doing multiple transactions
21:57 so, I'm like, "Okay...
21:59 how many transactions are they going to let her do
22:02 at the window?"
22:03 And then they had her pull up and then, she pulled back...
22:07 so, I'm like, "What is going on?"
22:09 And then I'm like, they handed me the food
22:11 and I'm like... "Here you go, the money"
22:13 and they're like, "No, your food is already paid for"
22:16 and I said, "Well, wow! look at God... "
22:19 Look at God.
22:20 So, if you reap good, you sow good.
22:23 And Rhiana knows that because that's what she does.
22:27 Kim: Hmmm... the kindness...
22:29 why do you try to be so tough?
22:30 Mom: That's it... she tries to be tough
22:33 and she's soft and charming...
22:35 Kim: Let me tell you... I'm from East-Side Detroit,
22:38 "East Side" okay.
22:39 Rhiana: Me too.
22:41 Kim: No, you didn't just say, "Me too... "
22:43 girl...
22:45 Laughter...
22:47 I know you're from the East Side,
22:48 there's something about the East-Side people all right,
22:51 but... I was not expecting that comment, all right,
22:54 but you have to find a balance, you know what I mean?
22:56 To find a balance...
22:58 Rhiana: To keep your balance...
23:00 Kim: You have to keep your balance.
23:01 Rhiana: Keep it straight.
23:02 Kim: Keep your... yes... and keep peace.
23:04 Keep peace... I don't want to fight with someone in the store.
23:07 I don't want to... if someone cuts in front of me
23:10 and people cut in front of you on the freeway,
23:12 I don't care, go ahead...
23:14 Rhiana: That's normal?
23:15 Kim: No, that's not normal, it's road rage
23:18 but people could die
23:19 and I don't want... I don't want that.
23:21 So I just let the person go ahead of me, all right
23:24 so, I just...
23:26 how would you like it if you came to my office
23:28 and you had to wait an hour to see me, would you like that?
23:31 No.
23:32 And I didn't even greet you,
23:33 but what do I do when I come out and you're waiting in my office,
23:36 what's the first thing I say?
23:38 "Hello, how are you today?"
23:39 Don't I...?
23:41 And you sound just like me, all right,
23:43 and mama says, "Go on in... just take her on in... "
23:47 okay... and sometimes I talk to mom first
23:49 "Is there anything I need to know?"
23:51 And then, I bring you in and we have our talk
23:54 and you sit so nicely like you're doing now
23:57 you don't climb all over my furniture
23:59 because you know I'm not having that
24:01 and then... oh let's do that crying thing she does, mom,
24:04 mmm... mmm... and mom and I would be like,
24:07 "Really... really?"
24:09 And then, "Oh... no... Dr. Logan... "
24:12 I said, "Talk... speak... "
24:14 because you can speak,
24:16 so... you try to manipulate...
24:18 you know what manipulation means?
24:20 What does it mean to manipulate?
24:23 Try to do something you can't.
24:25 That's right, because we've talked about it
24:28 and mother has talked to you about it,
24:30 so you tried to get over
24:32 and... "ooh... I'm not going to Dr. Logan... "
24:35 you start acting like you're two years old
24:37 and we know how smart you are.
24:39 So mom, let me ask you,
24:41 what are the challenges that you face
24:44 raising your daughter as a single mom?
24:46 Um,
24:49 basically it's hard...
24:50 you heard her talk about the behavior at school,
24:53 when you are living a life
24:55 where you live by certain morals and principles
24:58 and you're the parent that is strict
25:00 and your child is around kids that's not... it's very hard...
25:04 it's demanding... it's stressful...
25:06 it's emotional... it's an up-and-down constantly
25:10 because you don't know if you're doing what's right,
25:12 you don't know if you're doing what's wrong,
25:14 it's just all about that feeling "you're doing what's best"
25:17 um...
25:19 her... in the situation with her father...
25:20 anything at school... it is a constant fear
25:23 of... if you ever pop back up at the school...
25:26 the incident that we spoke of, when she left the school
25:30 and I was right out front,
25:31 and missed her in a 30-second gap
25:33 because she went with a family member,
25:36 instantly brought back the fear for me...
25:38 not only for me... but my close friend that was there
25:42 and the staff members who were there
25:44 from when she was originally taken,
25:45 it was an automatic panic... like, "Do you think he has her?"
25:49 That was the automatic question,
25:50 so, I still stay... and stay true to...
25:55 yea though I walk thought the valley of shadow of death,
25:58 I shall fear no evil...
25:59 Kim: That's right.
26:00 Mom: And so, I... I constantly...
26:02 when the incident happened, prayer got through that...
26:05 reading the Daily Word every day...
26:08 certain Scriptures got me through,
26:10 I prayed up and through my house
26:13 and over her daily...
26:14 you even started praying with us daily and gave me Scriptures
26:18 and so, I don't have the "fear" of him or the situation
26:23 it's really just a strength of what I will not allow
26:28 you know... it's Mama Bear. Kim: That's it.
26:30 Mom: Full Mama Bear... Kim: Yes.
26:31 Mom: Because the world...
26:33 people that try to change everything
26:35 and I can only control what's in my household.
26:36 Kim: That's it... that's it.
26:38 Mom: I've learned to control what I teach her
26:39 and how she can handle situations
26:41 overall, being a parent ain't easy
26:43 and it's definitely not... when you're going...
26:46 don't share the same beliefs and values with the other parent
26:49 so, that's where we are, that's why we're still here
26:53 because her behavior is a reflection
26:56 of the back-and-forth between the parenting.
26:58 Did you hear mama says,
27:00 why we're still here in counseling?
27:01 So Dr. Logan is still in your life...
27:03 isn't that a wonderful thing?
27:04 Nodding.
27:06 Kim: I can't hear you. Rhiana: Yes Ma'am.
27:07 All right... all right...
27:09 so, do you like school? You like school?
27:12 Um... kind of.
27:14 Kind of... but you are in cheer...
27:17 you cheer for a basketball or football team?
27:19 Football.
27:21 So, you're pretty good...
27:22 getting ready to go to Cheer Camp
27:23 and you like all of that
27:25 all right, I used to be a cheerleader too
27:27 hmmm... hmmm... okay... with the Pom-poms
27:29 but... okay... I couldn't do the flips all that great
27:32 but I was good,
27:33 so, I just want to say to you
27:35 how much I appreciate you coming on
27:37 making sure that you never leave with someone
27:40 other than your mother or who your mother has ordained
27:43 for you to leave with
27:44 and I want to know that God is first in your life,
27:48 is God first in your life? Rhiana: Yes.
27:50 And you were recently baptized.
27:51 Do you want to see Jesus when He comes?
27:53 Rhiana: Yes. Kim: I do too...
27:55 I am excited that you are learning
27:57 how to live to be well,
27:59 and you are doing it
28:02 much better than when I first met you.
28:04 I want to thank you both for coming on.
28:05 Mom: Thank you for having us. Kim: Oh it's been a joy.
28:07 I'm Dr. Kim Logan Nowlin
28:10 and continue to live to be well.
28:12 God bless.


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Revised 2018-05-21