Participants:
Series Code: LTBW
Program Code: LTBW000014A
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00:35 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim
00:37 and welcome to Live to be Well. 00:39 How many times have we seen on Social Media, television, 00:46 children who are taken by someone 00:50 and come to find out... it's a parent. 00:53 Well, my guest today is here to share 00:57 some of the concerns that they went through 01:00 and the experience 01:01 at the time, she was like six... seven... years old 01:05 and she was taken by her father. 01:08 I want to talk about: No More Fears 01:11 and I want to welcome my guest, Rhiana and Sherese, 01:14 mother and daughter, "Hi. " 01:15 Hi. 01:17 Well, welcome to Live to be Well, 01:18 thank you for coming on. 01:20 You're welcome. 01:22 How are you doing little one? 01:23 I'm good. 01:25 Well, listen now, let's talk about how you met Dr. Kim. 01:27 Mom called looking for a therapist for you 01:31 you know, do you think it's strange 01:34 for little people to have a therapist? 01:37 No, because kids can go through a lot too. 01:40 Oh yes, so, let's talk about what you went through 01:43 that... the reason why mom made the call, 01:45 can you tell us about what happened 01:47 when you first came to see me. 01:48 Well, my mom didn't want my dad to know that we have moved 01:53 because of some things 01:55 and then, when I told him... 01:58 but I didn't tell him where we moved 02:01 and then when I was in second grade, 02:03 he picked me up from school which was surprising 02:07 and then I went with him 02:10 and then he had said that I got to call your mama 02:14 and tell her that... that I got you 02:18 and then she needs to tell me where you're at 02:21 because... so I could drop you off. 02:23 So, at that point I was a little nervous 02:26 because of what my mama had told me. 02:29 So, then we had went to the gas station... 02:33 he bought me snacks and we went to Ballou. 02:36 Then he took me to the park, we played 02:39 and then we went to the River Walk 02:41 and stood by the water. 02:44 Then, after that, it was like eight or seven... 02:48 and we went to go get some food, 02:51 so, when we went to get some food, 02:53 we went back to the store and then he let me get some snacks 02:58 so then we went behind an abandoned store 03:02 and he told me we could sleep there 03:04 and we slept in a car. 03:05 So then, he had said, "I got something to tell you" 03:09 and I had said, "I got something to tell you" 03:11 so then he said that I need to go drop you off with your mama 03:16 and then, I was like, 03:17 "That's exactly what I was about to say. " 03:19 And then, that's what happened. 03:21 And then he took you back home. 03:22 So, in your mind, did you think your father 03:25 was going to take you away from your mother? 03:28 No, because if I asked him to bring me back, 03:30 he would have done it. 03:32 But you knew something was wrong 03:33 because you were behind that... it was an abandoned building? 03:37 Yeah. 03:38 Okay, what did your mother tell you, 03:40 I mean, when you went with your father, 03:43 did she ever give you some type of code 03:45 or to call her if something went wrong? 03:48 Did you have a cell phone? 03:49 No. 03:51 Could you use your father's cell phone? 03:52 Yeah. 03:53 Did you get a chance to talk to your mother that day? 03:55 No. 03:57 Did you ask him to call your mother? 03:59 He said he was going to talk to her, so... 04:01 But so, you believed that but it never happened. 04:04 I... yeah. 04:05 Okay. 04:07 So, do you feel that your father 04:12 would have put you in a bad situation 04:16 by allowing you to sleep there behind that building 04:20 because that would have been pretty dangerous. 04:21 Um... yeah. 04:24 Because you were going to be sleeping in the car. 04:27 Yeah. 04:29 Okay, had you ever slept in the car overnight before? 04:31 No, unless I was traveling. 04:33 Okay, unless you were traveling. 04:35 Yeah. 04:37 My goodness, you do know how to give the right answer, 04:39 now, I've got to come up with some good questions here for you 04:42 all right, so mom, what was going through your mind 04:45 when this situation took place? 04:46 Pause. 04:48 Um, I was in total frantic mode 04:53 because I was going through my normal routine 04:57 got off of work, went to Latchkey... 04:58 get to the Latchkey room like, 05:01 "Okay, where's Rhiana?" 05:02 And they're like, "She's gone. " 05:05 And it was the kids... 05:07 when I asked, "Who did she leave with?" 05:10 And they described him. 05:11 And going out of the school... talking to the staff... 05:14 everyone said, "They had a feeling" 05:16 you know, where something was "off" 05:18 but because she was with him and was freely going with him, 05:23 no one stopped them. 05:26 So, someone had tried to say, "Hey... " 05:28 And he brushed it off... 05:30 so it was like, "I knew something was wrong" 05:34 was all their responses, so he had been blocked, 05:37 so, I went into my blocked messages in my phone 05:40 and then, that's when I found out he had her, 05:43 he did leave the voice mail. 05:44 What he was doing was blackmailing me 05:47 and holding her hostage... 05:48 for me to tell him where we live. 05:50 What? 05:52 And I refused to tell him where we live 05:54 which is the point of, when she was stating... 05:56 he was saying to her, "Where do you live? 05:59 Where we moved... 06:00 He had been in and out... 06:02 six months here... three months there... 06:06 so, 06:07 I didn't feel like he needed to know where we lived 06:10 at that point because he had actually just did something 06:13 in another relationship 06:15 and I didn't feel that it was safe 06:17 and what he did was wrong 06:18 so, for my own security, I moved from where we was at 06:23 to not letting him be known where we were 06:26 but that day he did tell me, 06:28 "Well, you ain't going to get her back. " 06:30 Kim: He told you that. 06:31 Yeah, "If you don't tell me where you live, 06:33 then I'm not taking her to anybody else's house. " 06:35 So, that was the situation. 06:37 So, it was either tell him where I live 06:40 or stand my ground, 06:42 I called the police... 06:45 the police can't do anything when you just have a normal... 06:49 General Order... 06:52 like child support order, 06:53 the stipulations in the General Order 06:56 just says... "stipulated" or "time" 06:59 or not stipulated... just a general statement 07:04 basically an agreement between parents. 07:06 So the police stated... they couldn't do anything 07:09 until after he had taken her for over 24 hours. 07:11 Hmmm... 07:12 So, even... wherever he had her whether it was unsafe or not 07:16 so, he did have her in a car, making several threats to me 07:19 you know, he would take her, kill me... 07:22 and let my mama raise her and... 07:24 Kim: He threated to kill you... 07:26 Yeah... yeah... so, the very next... 07:29 he did eventually take her to my mother's house 07:32 after about 10:30... 11 o'clock that night 07:34 but the threats that were made over the phone 07:36 and what he would do and... 07:39 she says, she was okay sleeping in the car 07:41 and I bet he was having a breakdown... 07:44 I was at home by myself... 07:45 one of my friends raced over and came with me... 07:48 I didn't feel like I had no breath in my body, 07:50 but it was at that point that I just knew that... 07:53 that my peace was where I live 07:54 and I was not going to let him know where I lived at 07:57 because I know that he loved her 07:59 so I knew that he was not going to physically harm her, 08:04 you know, 08:05 so determining the better of two evils... 08:10 my peace is my home... 08:11 and I have refused to give that up. 08:13 Kim: And to this day he doesn't know where you live. 08:15 He does not know where we are at... to this day... 08:18 So, Rhiana, did he ever ask you where did you live... 08:21 did he try to get that information out of you? 08:24 Um, a couple of times, yeah, but one day... 08:26 like when... it was like the end of third grade, 08:29 we were leaving... then it was like this car like his car 08:33 and then it was rolling down and it just stopped 08:36 so, I was kind of worried like, was that him or something. 08:41 Hmmm... but was it? 08:42 I don't know. 08:44 No, we don't know, 08:45 so, you've seen your father since that time. 08:47 Um, yes. 08:48 And there's been no problems, 08:51 have you been left alone with him? 08:53 Yeah, but my mom was upstairs. 08:56 I mean... so you were somewhere else, 08:59 not at your home but somewhere else. 09:00 Yeah, when I was in Florida, 09:02 me and my sister were talking to him. 09:04 Okay, but, in Detroit, have you... 09:07 have you seen him over the last... 09:09 Well, at Christmas. 09:10 At Christmas... were you left alone with him? 09:12 Yes. 09:13 And nothing happened. 09:14 Shaking her head... 09:16 Did he ask you, "Where do you live Rhiana, 09:17 where do you live?" Rhiana: No. 09:19 Kim: All right, but you knew and mommy had told you, 09:22 "Don't ever tell him where we live. " 09:23 Yes. 09:24 Okay... so, how did... is he... 09:27 was he on the list to take her out of school? 09:31 Originally, yes, but the school stated that 09:34 when they went through the new school year, 09:37 when I had removed him of off the list, 09:39 that something happened with their computer systems 09:44 so it had converted back to all the children's original files. 09:48 No! so his name to release was on that old System. 09:54 Mom: Right. Kim: Okay. 09:55 Mom: Because I still... from the beginning... 09:58 I still had sole guardianship of her. 10:01 But he has rights as a parent to see her 10:03 so with the school... 10:05 "No, you can't pick up and drop off. " 10:08 So you have the physical custody but he has visitation rights. 10:11 Originally... now, no... 10:14 now no... now, the court order is: Supervised Visitation. 10:18 Hmmm... hmmm... 10:19 At a Court approved agency. 10:23 I see... I see. 10:24 So, let me ask you, what is it like... 10:28 we've had mother and son raising sons, 10:31 what is it like being a single mom? 10:33 You know, you... born and raised in Detroit? 10:36 Yes. 10:37 So, what is it like raising Rhiana 10:40 and I have the perspective because I'm her therapist, 10:44 yes... and we've had some very straight talks, all right, 10:48 before you answer that question, 10:50 what was one of your mama's main concerns... 10:53 your mother's concern, 10:54 when she brought you into Counseling 10:56 after the "father incident," you know, 10:58 what were some of the concerns she had? 11:00 Sneaking and lying. 11:02 Sneaking and lying... sneaking what? 11:05 Candy. 11:06 Hmmm... hmmm... 11:08 Food. 11:09 Food but why... don't be looking at me like, "food" like, okay 11:11 all right, "Food" all right, 11:14 and lying... why would you lie? 11:16 Because I thought I would just get in trouble. 11:20 Did you tell her the truth? 11:22 So, it's better just to tell a lie 11:24 well, you know better now 11:25 that lying is not good, it just makes things worse 11:29 all right, what about cleaning up that room? 11:32 Um, I would just... when my mama told me to clean up my room, 11:37 I just never do it 11:39 and I just start it and never finish it 11:43 then, I just go to sleep. 11:45 So, what was that word we learned 11:47 in our therapy session this past week? 11:50 Po... kay... pro... pro... ca... cation... 11:53 Procrastination. 11:55 Procrastination... 11:56 Procrastination... 11:57 Procrastination. 11:59 And what does "Procrastination" mean? 12:01 To never say... 12:03 you go keep doing it and do it then. 12:05 And it never gets what? 12:06 Done. 12:08 Never gets done... you keep putting it off, you know, 12:10 and how many times did mommy say, "Rhiana lazy... 12:12 Rhiana lazy... Dr. Logan, I need her to have her sessions" 12:17 all right. 12:18 And so, working with you, 12:22 I've seen you have high moments... low moments... 12:25 and you and I have gone toe-to-toe, haven't we? 12:29 And you knew you did not want to make Dr. Logan upset, right? 12:32 So, I appreciate it because you went home 12:35 Sunday... I saw you... Sunday, 12:37 you know, for a therapy session, 12:39 you went home and you cleaned up. 12:41 Now, you recently came from somewhere, where did you go? 12:44 To Florida. 12:46 You went to Florida... 12:47 and mom came home and your room was a mess 12:50 but she still let you go what... what... 12:53 isn't that a great mom? Rhiana: Yes. 12:55 But you think mom's going to continue to let you do things 13:00 if you don't obey her? 13:02 Rhiana: No. Kim: No... 13:03 and do you think it pleases God? Rhiana: No. 13:06 And you and I... we talk a lot about the Lord 13:08 and what the Lord expects of our children, 13:11 "Suffer the little children" 13:13 I have a Scripture for you, 13:14 "For He has not given me the spirit of fear, 13:18 but of love, power and a sound mind. " 13:21 2nd Timothy 1:7. 13:23 God does not want you to live in fear. 13:25 He doesn't want you to look down the block 13:27 or worry about someone taking you 13:29 but He does want you to have a sound mind. 13:32 Can you tell me what it means to have a sound mind? 13:34 No. 13:36 Okay, so God gives you a good mind, 13:39 that means He wants you to make good decisions, 13:42 so, a "sound mind" means you're not all over the place 13:45 all right, some people will say, 13:47 "I'm not functioning... " 13:49 some people will say, 13:51 "Well, you're crazy to be going to therapy. " 13:53 Do you think it's crazy to go to the therapist? 13:55 No. 13:57 No, because... what good... what is my role in your life? 14:01 To make me better in life. 14:03 Oooh, I like that answer... 14:06 I'll just get a blurb over the couch, all right. 14:09 To make you better but I can't do it... 14:12 I'm just a vessel for the Lord, it's between you and the Lord 14:17 you have to surrender to the Lord 14:18 and you have to be obedient 14:20 because the Bible says to honor thy father and thy mother 14:23 so that your days may be long upon the land 14:27 that the Lord thy God giveth thee. 14:28 That is a command... so, God wants you to obey 14:31 so, do you ever talk back to mom or did you used to... used to? 14:35 Well, I never talked back 14:37 but I just get like an attitude and start stomping. 14:41 And you're stomping... and then you can... 14:43 oh, I have never seen anybody who can roll their eyes like you 14:46 "Oooh, can you do that for me?" 14:47 Like, hmmm... hmmm... you're getting... 14:50 oh wait... oh Rhiana, this is you... 14:53 Kim is demonstrating the look... 14:56 oh... I'd be like... "Ooooh" 14:59 it takes everything in me to power the Lord not to get up 15:02 because I don't want to get a case, 15:04 I don't want a case, okay, 15:05 you know, 15:07 so, I mean... 15:08 so, where did you learn to do your eye movement like that? 15:12 Rhiana: Well... well... Kim: Be honest. 15:16 In school, it's a whole bunch of bullying and stuff 15:20 so, I kind of had to stick up for myself. 15:23 Oh really? So, rolling your eyes is one of them? 15:26 Yeah. 15:27 Really, does that help... does that work? 15:29 Yeah, because people will be talking about 15:31 your family members and you just want to walk away 15:35 but then, they keep talking about... 15:36 "You're scared" and stuff. 15:38 So you just give them that look... that "Rhiana look" 15:40 do you have a reputation in school for that look? 15:42 No. 15:43 Now, let's talk about an incident, 15:47 Mom, let's go back, 15:48 remember the incident with the "B" word... 15:52 and you got a text... oh my goodness... 15:55 now, in schools today... back in our day... 15:59 it used to be... you know, 16:01 "What's up girl?" "How you doing girl?" 16:03 "What... " you know, "You're my girl" 16:05 now, it's "What's up mmm... " 16:08 "What's up... " 16:10 so, you saw this text from a mother 16:12 that Rhiana had sent the word back to the girl 16:17 but the girl had texted Rhiana, but the girl was smart... 16:20 she deleted her message... all right, 16:22 now we're talking... what grade here? 16:24 She deleted hers too 16:26 but not before the mama got the screen shot... 16:29 All right then, she screams at you, all right, 16:31 so, do they use this kind of language in your school? 16:35 They curse a lot? 16:36 Yeah, it started like, at the end of second grade. 16:40 What? 16:42 You started hearing these bad words. 16:43 Nodding her head. 16:45 And you knew they were bad words. 16:47 You know, but would you use it 16:49 even in a text, on your mother's phone? 16:51 Because she... 16:52 Was it on your phone or your mother's phone? 16:54 My phone... she just kept calling me that word. 16:56 So you felt... the only way you could defend yourself 16:59 was to call her back that word. 17:01 Yeah. 17:03 Yeah, do you think the Lord was pleased? 17:05 No. 17:06 Do you think the Lord likes us to use profanity or curse? 17:09 Rhiana: No. 17:10 Kim: No, those are not God's words, 17:12 you know, those... 17:13 He doesn't like those words at all. 17:15 We have a lot of words in the dictionary, right? 17:17 If this was a dictionary, "Wow! look at all these great words" 17:20 okay, I'm going to give you a word... you ready? 17:23 Okay, the word is "affable" can you say that word? 17:26 "Affable. " 17:28 Have you ever heard that word? Rhiana: No. 17:29 Kim: Okay, affable means likeable. 17:31 Isn't that a great word? 17:32 Nodding head. 17:34 So, I will say, "Rhiana, you are so affable. " 17:37 Okay, but you're going to saying it back, 17:39 "Dr. Kim, you're so affable. " 17:41 "Dr. Kim, you're so affable... " 17:43 Oh, thank you so much, I agree with that. 17:45 Okay, I'm going to give you another word. 17:47 "Rhiana, at times, your mother can be very pensive. " 17:51 You know, just think a minute, "Pensive. " 17:54 Stress. 17:55 Well, you know that will do it, okay. 17:59 Yes, because you know you can stress her, 18:03 you're such a little person to bring such thoughts sometimes 18:06 but "Pensive" means "Quiet" 18:08 so, when you see your mother get quiet, 18:11 that's a red flag isn't it? 18:13 What happens when your mother gets quiet and shuts down? 18:17 Um, I just feel like, "Okay, maybe there's a 'yes'." 18:20 Really? 18:22 Hmmm... hmmm... but when she's upset... 18:24 But then, when she gives me a look, I just go up to my room. 18:28 What does her look look like? 18:30 The look. 18:31 That's mama's look? 18:34 Can you look at the camera, look over the camera right there 18:37 look at this camera right here and give us that look. 18:38 Laughter. 18:40 That's mama's look, huh? 18:42 Nodding. 18:43 Okay, so you know, "I need to leave mom alone 18:46 and go to my room and be still" all right. 18:49 Why were you taking food, 18:50 I mean, you can have food, you live there, 18:53 that's your home, mom feeds you... 18:55 Because I just needed a snack. 18:57 You decided to take it because you wanted it. 19:00 Yeah. 19:01 But it got out of hand 19:03 because you started taking mama's peanuts, 19:04 going into her purse... 19:05 you started doing all kinds of things, 19:07 just helping yourself to everything... 19:09 mummy couldn't lay anything down with you trying to eat it 19:13 you know, was that right? 19:14 No. 19:16 How would you like it if your little cousins would come over 19:18 and they would take something that didn't belong to them, 19:21 you wouldn't like that, would you? 19:22 Um... no, because 19:25 all my cousins are boys so I would just smack 'em. 19:28 Oh my goodness, in the name of Jesus, 19:31 you smack your little cousins? 19:33 Rhiana: Yeah. Mom: She doesn't. 19:35 Yes, I do, I smack the twins. 19:37 Laughter. 19:38 You smack the twins... how old are they? 19:42 They just turned seven Monday... 19:44 What? and you are how old? 19:46 Nine. 19:47 Okay, because you're just a little bit older, all right. 19:49 Well, Rhiana, see now, we've got to deal with that in counseling 19:52 because I didn't know that 19:53 see, so, you can't go around smacking people, 19:57 you know, because if they... 19:59 because people will smack you back. 20:01 But they took... so... they can handle it. 20:04 Oh my Lord... 20:05 Laughter. 20:06 Rhiana, okay, but in the real world, 20:09 outside... you can't do that... 20:11 in middle school... high school... 20:13 you know, you can't do that, okay, 20:16 if somebody jumps you... 20:17 But what if you got to take the consequences? 20:19 But... okay... but... you can't be at the store 20:22 and somebody cuts in front of you, 20:24 you're going to smack somebody? 20:26 No, I'll get my spot back. 20:27 How are you going to get your spot back. 20:29 I'm going to cut in front of him. 20:31 But... but... can I say this? 20:32 This is what I do... when I see somebody with one item 20:36 and I may have 20 items, 20:38 I let them go in front of me. 20:39 You let them go in front of you. Kim: That's right. 20:41 But what if you only got one item 20:43 and they got more items then they cut? 20:46 Let them cut because what would Jesus do? 20:47 Why? 20:49 What would Jesus do? 20:50 Rhiana: He would just let it go by. 20:52 Kim: He'd let it go by, 20:53 so, therefore, if Jesus could let it go by, 20:55 what are we supposed to do? 20:57 Let it go by...? 20:58 Let is go by even though we're human 21:00 and it's hard sometimes, 21:02 but we have to have a character of Jesus. 21:05 But what if you're in a rush? 21:07 You have to wait... you have to wait, 21:09 you should have left a little bit earlier, all right, 21:12 but you can't just cut in front of people 21:15 or... just like you waited for me to do the program 21:18 and I really appreciate that 21:20 and that was kindness, 21:21 God is going to repay you for kindness... 21:24 for the ministry you're doing here today 21:26 you know, you ever heard the saying? 21:28 "You reap what you sow" 21:30 mama tell her what "You reap what you sow" means. 21:33 She knows what it means because today what happened? 21:35 Kim: Oh... 21:37 We stopped just to get something to eat 21:38 and our food was paid for. 21:40 What? 21:41 And my mama... she was talking about her 21:46 because the lady was taking, like, 20... 30... minutes... 21:50 It wasn't 20... 30 minutes... 21:52 we were sitting in a drive-through 21:54 so you can see the lady was doing multiple transactions 21:57 so, I'm like, "Okay... 21:59 how many transactions are they going to let her do 22:02 at the window?" 22:03 And then they had her pull up and then, she pulled back... 22:07 so, I'm like, "What is going on?" 22:09 And then I'm like, they handed me the food 22:11 and I'm like... "Here you go, the money" 22:13 and they're like, "No, your food is already paid for" 22:16 and I said, "Well, wow! look at God... " 22:19 Look at God. 22:20 So, if you reap good, you sow good. 22:23 And Rhiana knows that because that's what she does. 22:27 Kim: Hmmm... the kindness... 22:29 why do you try to be so tough? 22:30 Mom: That's it... she tries to be tough 22:33 and she's soft and charming... 22:35 Kim: Let me tell you... I'm from East-Side Detroit, 22:38 "East Side" okay. 22:39 Rhiana: Me too. 22:41 Kim: No, you didn't just say, "Me too... " 22:43 girl... 22:45 Laughter... 22:47 I know you're from the East Side, 22:48 there's something about the East-Side people all right, 22:51 but... I was not expecting that comment, all right, 22:54 but you have to find a balance, you know what I mean? 22:56 To find a balance... 22:58 Rhiana: To keep your balance... 23:00 Kim: You have to keep your balance. 23:01 Rhiana: Keep it straight. 23:02 Kim: Keep your... yes... and keep peace. 23:04 Keep peace... I don't want to fight with someone in the store. 23:07 I don't want to... if someone cuts in front of me 23:10 and people cut in front of you on the freeway, 23:12 I don't care, go ahead... 23:14 Rhiana: That's normal? 23:15 Kim: No, that's not normal, it's road rage 23:18 but people could die 23:19 and I don't want... I don't want that. 23:21 So I just let the person go ahead of me, all right 23:24 so, I just... 23:26 how would you like it if you came to my office 23:28 and you had to wait an hour to see me, would you like that? 23:31 No. 23:32 And I didn't even greet you, 23:33 but what do I do when I come out and you're waiting in my office, 23:36 what's the first thing I say? 23:38 "Hello, how are you today?" 23:39 Don't I...? 23:41 And you sound just like me, all right, 23:43 and mama says, "Go on in... just take her on in... " 23:47 okay... and sometimes I talk to mom first 23:49 "Is there anything I need to know?" 23:51 And then, I bring you in and we have our talk 23:54 and you sit so nicely like you're doing now 23:57 you don't climb all over my furniture 23:59 because you know I'm not having that 24:01 and then... oh let's do that crying thing she does, mom, 24:04 mmm... mmm... and mom and I would be like, 24:07 "Really... really?" 24:09 And then, "Oh... no... Dr. Logan... " 24:12 I said, "Talk... speak... " 24:14 because you can speak, 24:16 so... you try to manipulate... 24:18 you know what manipulation means? 24:20 What does it mean to manipulate? 24:23 Try to do something you can't. 24:25 That's right, because we've talked about it 24:28 and mother has talked to you about it, 24:30 so you tried to get over 24:32 and... "ooh... I'm not going to Dr. Logan... " 24:35 you start acting like you're two years old 24:37 and we know how smart you are. 24:39 So mom, let me ask you, 24:41 what are the challenges that you face 24:44 raising your daughter as a single mom? 24:46 Um, 24:49 basically it's hard... 24:50 you heard her talk about the behavior at school, 24:53 when you are living a life 24:55 where you live by certain morals and principles 24:58 and you're the parent that is strict 25:00 and your child is around kids that's not... it's very hard... 25:04 it's demanding... it's stressful... 25:06 it's emotional... it's an up-and-down constantly 25:10 because you don't know if you're doing what's right, 25:12 you don't know if you're doing what's wrong, 25:14 it's just all about that feeling "you're doing what's best" 25:17 um... 25:19 her... in the situation with her father... 25:20 anything at school... it is a constant fear 25:23 of... if you ever pop back up at the school... 25:26 the incident that we spoke of, when she left the school 25:30 and I was right out front, 25:31 and missed her in a 30-second gap 25:33 because she went with a family member, 25:36 instantly brought back the fear for me... 25:38 not only for me... but my close friend that was there 25:42 and the staff members who were there 25:44 from when she was originally taken, 25:45 it was an automatic panic... like, "Do you think he has her?" 25:49 That was the automatic question, 25:50 so, I still stay... and stay true to... 25:55 yea though I walk thought the valley of shadow of death, 25:58 I shall fear no evil... 25:59 Kim: That's right. 26:00 Mom: And so, I... I constantly... 26:02 when the incident happened, prayer got through that... 26:05 reading the Daily Word every day... 26:08 certain Scriptures got me through, 26:10 I prayed up and through my house 26:13 and over her daily... 26:14 you even started praying with us daily and gave me Scriptures 26:18 and so, I don't have the "fear" of him or the situation 26:23 it's really just a strength of what I will not allow 26:28 you know... it's Mama Bear. Kim: That's it. 26:30 Mom: Full Mama Bear... Kim: Yes. 26:31 Mom: Because the world... 26:33 people that try to change everything 26:35 and I can only control what's in my household. 26:36 Kim: That's it... that's it. 26:38 Mom: I've learned to control what I teach her 26:39 and how she can handle situations 26:41 overall, being a parent ain't easy 26:43 and it's definitely not... when you're going... 26:46 don't share the same beliefs and values with the other parent 26:49 so, that's where we are, that's why we're still here 26:53 because her behavior is a reflection 26:56 of the back-and-forth between the parenting. 26:58 Did you hear mama says, 27:00 why we're still here in counseling? 27:01 So Dr. Logan is still in your life... 27:03 isn't that a wonderful thing? 27:04 Nodding. 27:06 Kim: I can't hear you. Rhiana: Yes Ma'am. 27:07 All right... all right... 27:09 so, do you like school? You like school? 27:12 Um... kind of. 27:14 Kind of... but you are in cheer... 27:17 you cheer for a basketball or football team? 27:19 Football. 27:21 So, you're pretty good... 27:22 getting ready to go to Cheer Camp 27:23 and you like all of that 27:25 all right, I used to be a cheerleader too 27:27 hmmm... hmmm... okay... with the Pom-poms 27:29 but... okay... I couldn't do the flips all that great 27:32 but I was good, 27:33 so, I just want to say to you 27:35 how much I appreciate you coming on 27:37 making sure that you never leave with someone 27:40 other than your mother or who your mother has ordained 27:43 for you to leave with 27:44 and I want to know that God is first in your life, 27:48 is God first in your life? Rhiana: Yes. 27:50 And you were recently baptized. 27:51 Do you want to see Jesus when He comes? 27:53 Rhiana: Yes. Kim: I do too... 27:55 I am excited that you are learning 27:57 how to live to be well, 27:59 and you are doing it 28:02 much better than when I first met you. 28:04 I want to thank you both for coming on. 28:05 Mom: Thank you for having us. Kim: Oh it's been a joy. 28:07 I'm Dr. Kim Logan Nowlin 28:10 and continue to live to be well. 28:12 God bless. |
Revised 2018-05-21