Participants:
Series Code: LTBW
Program Code: LTBW000016A
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00:35 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim, and welcome to Live to be Well.
00:39 Today, on our program, 00:41 we're going to talk about genuine friendship, 00:43 friendship in a good healthy marriage. 00:46 Can you be friends in your marriage? 00:48 I think so. 00:50 I want to welcome my wonderful guests, 00:51 and they're not just guests, they're my friends, 00:54 Mr. Marvin and Dr. Sharon Harrison. 00:57 Welcome to Live to be Well. 00:59 Hey, how you doing, Kim? How you doing? 01:01 You all right? You all right? Good, I'm doing fine. 01:02 You're looking good Thank you. 01:04 Well, listen, how long have you guys been married? 01:07 Thirty years, October, the 27. 01:10 What? 2017. 01:11 Yeah, my goodness. 01:13 All right, well, let us tell everyone 01:15 how I first met both of you. 01:18 I met Brother Harrison at the Burns Avenue 01:22 Seventh-day Adventist Church, 01:23 Pastor Marshall T. Kelly was our pastor. 01:26 But you were my Sabbath school teacher. 01:28 We used to run off fast to that balcony, 01:31 get our seats because if you didn't get there on time, 01:33 you would not have a seat in your class. 01:36 But it also prepared us to stay in the church 01:40 but have a relationship with Jesus 01:41 because of the way you taught us about Jesus, 01:45 so can you imagine having 01:46 Pastor Marshall T. Kelly as your pastor, 01:49 and then but the Marvin Harrison 01:50 as your Sabbath school teacher, 01:52 we had the best of both worlds, all right. 01:55 And we never wanted to go home, all right. 01:57 Oh, boy. It's wonderful. 01:58 And then, down the road, I joined, 02:02 I transferred churches, 02:04 and I became a member of City Temple, 02:06 and I looked up, and you were there, 02:08 but you had a beautiful woman with you, all right. 02:12 So let's talk about how you both met, 02:16 and how you became a Seventh-day Adventist, 02:19 all right. 02:20 Well, I was student teaching and Marvin was the art teacher. 02:26 No. 02:29 Oh, this is going to be good. 02:30 It is going to be good, 02:32 so I'm in the school my first day. 02:33 Yes. 02:35 And this gentleman comes up to me, and he says, 02:37 "May I see you?" 02:38 And I was like, "Oh, my God. 02:40 I'm only here the first day, and I'm in trouble already." 02:42 Needless to say I was. 02:44 And so, I thought he was the principal 02:46 and that I had done something wrong, 02:48 so I go to him, and I'm like, you know, "Yes." 02:52 And he's like, "How are you, what is your name?" 02:55 Don't do that. 02:57 No, he didn't hit on you? Yes. 02:59 Yes, he did. First day. 03:01 First day, you didn't have a chance. 03:03 No. So what happened? 03:05 So we started talking, 03:07 and I thought he was just a wonderful gentleman, 03:09 just so nice and very good looking. 03:11 Yes, yes, yes, yes. 03:13 And so, we actually... 03:17 I think after school, I went through my day, 03:19 we exchanged numbers, 03:20 and then he came home with me and met my mom. 03:23 That same day? Yes. 03:25 Oh, my goodness, you were serious? 03:27 Yeah. Oh, man. 03:29 So then what did mom think? 03:31 Of course, I called my girlfriends and said, 03:32 "Guess what, I've got the art teacher." 03:34 These all inside things I don't know. 03:37 Okay. 03:38 All right, so what did your mom think? 03:40 Oh, she thought he was really nice. 03:43 She said, "This is such a nice, you know, guy." 03:47 You know, we just instantly became friends, 03:49 just really in-depth conversations, immediately, 03:52 and you know, just from then, 03:54 and in during my student teaching at there, 03:57 we were just very, very good friends. 03:59 So how long did you date before you became man and wife? 04:04 About a year. About a year. 04:07 But there was a little segue or little space in between. 04:14 We broke up, no? Yes, we broke up. 04:16 Okay, calling what it is, you broke up. 04:19 Well, I thought that she was... 04:23 I really liked her a lot in terms of love... 04:29 I loved her. Really? 04:31 But I thought she was a little speedy, you know, 04:35 they used to call fast. 04:36 You know... 04:39 She want, you know, she want I think party... 04:44 But that wasn't your scene? That really wasn't me. 04:47 Okay, all right. 04:49 Not that I didn't go out or anything like that. 04:53 But she was... 04:54 Something about her that attracted me, 04:56 not only the beauty but her intelligence. 04:59 She is very intelligent indeed. 05:00 And that's what really captured. 05:04 Can hold a conversation. Exactly. 05:07 Yes, you know, beauty inward and outward, 05:09 intellectual beauty. 05:10 'Cause she was only young... 05:12 Well, was 20 something. 05:14 You were 33, and I was about 22. 05:15 I was 33. What? 05:18 Okay. All right, I forget about it. 05:22 So I was supposed to be. 05:24 That's true. Yes. 05:26 Yeah, there's a big gap there too. 05:28 Okay. 05:29 All right, so that is your side. 05:32 That is my side. Yeah. 05:33 So you see, right? Yes. 05:35 All the women wanted to be with Marvin, 05:40 and I think at that time, I just felt 05:43 that I didn't want to be part of a community. 05:47 Oh, come on, now, community... Let him say that. 05:50 Okay, go ahead. 05:51 Yeah, I mean, he was a teacher. 05:53 And so teachers are mostly women, 05:55 and he was quite popular, but I will say too, 05:58 I know that he was way more settled. 06:00 I will agree as you were saying that, 06:02 he was way more settled 06:04 'cause I was just coming out of school, 06:05 you know, about to graduate, 06:07 so I really wasn't quite ready for the seriousness 06:10 of the kind of relationship that he wanted, 06:13 but I liked that he was introducing me 06:16 to a different lifestyle like with Marvin, 06:19 the first time I had like a big frank, 06:22 you know, that's a veggie hot dog, 06:24 you know, but he was into the health message, 06:27 and so, I saw that, you know, there's something 06:30 very intriguing about this gentleman. 06:32 You know, he is handsome, he is a teacher, 06:34 we share this education thing, 06:36 and then he is also very health minded. 06:40 And I had never met anyone 06:42 that even talked about health or any other things. 06:46 No, you know... This is good. This is good. 06:49 So... Go ahead, go ahead. 06:52 So with that space, we came back together. 06:56 Seven years later. Seven years later. 06:57 Seven... Now you want to sneak that in. 06:59 We didn't see each other for seven years. 07:00 Seven years? Yeah. 07:01 Did you date other people? 07:03 Yes. Yeah. 07:04 Really? 07:05 So how did you get back together after seven years? 07:07 Well, I saw her walking down the street. 07:08 Oh, my goodness. 07:10 This is getting better and better. 07:11 And she had a two... 07:12 Okay. At the ethnic festival. 07:14 At the downtown? 07:15 No, you saw me walking down the street, right. 07:16 Yeah, right, with her two nephews. 07:18 Yeah, my nephews. Really? 07:19 You were driving? Was I driving? 07:21 I think so, yeah, right. And you stopped. 07:23 Yeah. What? 07:24 And you remember and said, okay, so what did you? 07:28 You parked the car and get out? 07:29 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 07:31 He did. We got back, yeah. 07:33 And that was the beginning again. 07:36 Okay, but did you give him a huggie, give me more. 07:39 So you stopped the car, got out, 07:41 and what did you say to her? 07:43 Well, I think that well, I have to go back and think, 07:46 but, you know, just regular talking, 07:50 how are you doing, what you're doing, 07:53 you know, can we get back together. 07:55 Really? And you received that? 07:57 I did. 07:58 And you both were free and available? 08:00 Yes. Isn't that something? 08:02 I had to look out 'cause I was out living on my own 08:04 in my own house. 08:06 Everything, so the break up was very, you know, amicable. 08:10 It wasn't sour. No, nothing messy, just. 08:13 Oh, just we're just going to go our separate ways. 08:15 Yeah, go in our separate ways. 08:16 Okay, so after seven years, and then what? 08:19 And then I discovered, when we were talking, 08:24 I discovered more about her. Yes. 08:26 Her depth, you know, I said she was intelligent, 08:29 but I saw the depth because, you know, 08:31 I had introduced the diet to her. 08:33 Yes. 08:37 I didn't think she really received it that great. 08:39 Like even when I had almonds, you've called almonds peanuts, 08:43 now she said she didn't say that. 08:46 What about them peanuts, she was thinking? 08:48 I said, "No, those are almonds." 08:49 That's fine. Don't worry about. 08:51 I don't remember the story, 08:52 we'll go and tell the kids that and everything. 08:57 And I said, "She remembered that?" 08:59 And then, that shows me that, "Wow, she..." 09:02 And she talked about my diet. 09:04 And I didn't think she was really interested in it. 09:05 Wow! And she worked out. 09:10 I tell you, she worked with Elaine... 09:13 Powell? Yeah, Elaine Powell. 09:14 She was instructor there. Fitness instructor. 09:17 And I'm telling you, she was on the money, 09:21 still on the money, but I'm talking about, 09:23 you know, when you are younger, you're usually like. 09:26 And so we got together. 09:27 What we did, I would run four miles from my house. 09:31 I had my own... What was the year... 09:34 Did I had my home back then? Yes. 09:35 Yeah, and I run four miles to her house. 09:38 Wow! 09:39 And then we'll go and run and workout. 09:42 Oh, yeah. 09:44 And after we worked out, we will go to the gym, 09:49 and then we will do the... 09:51 The cardio. 09:52 Cardio, not well, we would do strengthening. 09:55 Lifting and deadweights, and what do you call, 09:59 free weights and machine weights. 10:02 And then from... You were her personal trainer? 10:07 Well, she was on the money, didn't she? 10:08 Okay, okay. 10:10 And then from there, we would go, 10:11 there was a Highland Park, 10:13 there was a track in Highland Park. 10:14 Then we'd go there and run a few sprints. 10:16 This is all in one day? Yeah. 10:18 Yeah. Oh, my goodness. 10:19 We worked. And that was our thing. 10:21 That was our day. That's how we date. 10:22 We didn't like go, of course, to, you know, 10:25 nightclubs and all of that. 10:26 We worked out. 10:28 And be good together which doing okay. 10:30 I run over, I'm riding my bike, 10:32 I ride to you and that's what we do 10:34 in the evenings when we got off 10:36 work is get together and work out. 10:38 It's so beautiful. It was fun. 10:40 Oh, is it fun, see. 10:41 Couples are going to have fun. 10:43 Yes. So when did you propose? 10:48 I know, I want you... 10:49 You're shooting a straight arrow, huh. 10:51 After the seven years, 10:53 you get together, you're working out, 10:55 you join each other, 10:56 did marriage crossed your mind, Marvin? 10:58 Did it cross your mind? 11:00 Definitely crossed my mind. Okay. 11:02 Okay. Yes. 11:03 I was ready. You were ready. 11:05 Because I was ready to have kids, 11:08 I was in my 30s now, you know, and I'm like, 11:11 you know, already working, got my career, and I'm like, 11:16 "What are we going to do, young man?" 11:19 I said, I basically told him 11:22 that he needed to make up his mind. 11:24 I was kind of bouncing around actually. 11:26 Yes. I'm being honest with you. 11:28 You were bouncing around, what do you mean? 11:29 But not with other women, 11:31 but just toying with the idea of marriage, marriage. 11:34 Let's make it clear. Okay. 11:36 You are one-woman man. That was it. 11:40 And I decided that I wanted to move on 11:43 that he seemed comfortable with the relationship as it was 11:47 but that I wanted more, and so I said, you know, 11:51 "I'm not going to, I just said him out, 11:53 I'm not going to hang around forever. 11:55 You need to make up your mind what you want to do." 11:57 Yes. Ultimatum. 11:59 Yeah, yeah. 12:03 One day, I just say, 12:05 "Hey, Sharon, would you marry me?" 12:13 And so we got together... 12:18 and I was concerned about her religion, her faith. 12:23 And because that's one thing 12:25 that I didn't negotiate on, 12:32 but yet I was open 12:36 because I know there would be discrepancy. 12:38 If I had married someone who had a different diet, 12:41 we will have children, you know, 12:43 that would be an issue there. 12:45 Yeah. 12:47 And we have different understanding of salvation, 12:51 in God, Christ, there would be an issue there. 12:54 But you did marry me before I joined the church. 12:58 And that's where I'm getting there. 13:03 Yeah, but I did marry her before she joined church. 13:06 Now why did I do that? Why did you do that? 13:08 Because I saw it... 13:12 she is extremely intelligent person, 13:15 and I knew that there was going to be 13:20 a time when she was going to get it 13:23 because just the direction... 13:26 She was analytical, she was compassionate, 13:29 she was philosophical, 13:32 she thought, she was a thinker, 13:37 you know, even if she come out 13:38 with something that necessarily was impromptu 13:42 and not thoroughly thought out and want to argue about it. 13:45 Yes. I can see that. 13:49 But she will come back... Come back. 13:51 Later, and that attracted me. 13:55 Because she would obviously go through herself 13:58 somewhere and reason it out. 14:00 Said, "Okay, yeah, Marvin, 14:01 yeah, I kind of see that," you know. 14:03 Well, let me tell you about the first time 14:04 he told me about the Sabbath. 14:06 Tell me about that? 14:07 We were actually on our way to the beach, 14:08 and I don't know how it came, we were talking religion, 14:11 and he says, "You know, the Sabbath is Saturday." 14:15 I said, "What?" 14:17 He said, "You know, when people go to church on Sunday, 14:20 that's not the right day." 14:22 I said, "Now how do only you know 14:24 that 'cause I have never heard of it." 14:26 Is it really? No! 14:27 Never, you never heard of Seventh-day Adventist? 14:29 No. Wow! 14:30 I was Baptist at that time, and I said, 14:33 "How could you only know this and the whole United States, 14:36 world does not know this." 14:38 See what I had to deal with. 14:39 And he was like but it is. 14:42 He says, "You just need to study." 14:44 And what I liked about that is he really did not 14:48 just keep coming at me with that message. 14:52 He said that, and he left it there 14:54 for me to deal with myself 14:58 and we weren't married when he told me that. 15:00 But, you know, I just remembered 15:04 that even in my witnessing, 15:06 I try to have that same approach 15:08 that Marvin had with me because he did not ram that... 15:11 The fruit of the spirits. 15:13 The doctrine, yeah, down my throat which was up, 15:15 he just was very calm, 15:17 and say and I just could not believe this was true. 15:20 How can everybody not even talk about this thing 15:23 that you're talking about. 15:25 That does not sound right. 15:28 So from there, you're now married. 15:31 And how soon after, 15:33 did you accept the Seventh-day Adventist message? 15:35 Well, I was actually... 15:38 After we got married, 15:39 I was still going to church on Sunday, 15:42 and I would ask him to go with me, he said, "No." 15:45 He would not go. He would not go. 15:47 Oh, my gosh, you know, what gotten into him. 15:50 You know, what's going to happen with this marriage. 15:51 I worried for a minute 15:52 because I was singing in the choir at this church 15:55 and very involved, and I said, "Marvin, are you going?" 15:58 He said, "No." I was like, "Oh, my goodness." 16:01 So, you know, it was the Easter weekend, 16:04 and I was studying my Sunday school lesson, 16:07 and it said in writing, 16:09 I'm in the middle of the night 16:10 like studying my lesson it says, 16:12 "Jesus rested in the tomb on the Sabbath." 16:15 And I sat up. In your lesson? 16:17 Yes. 16:20 Won't God do it? Yes. 16:21 I'm telling you. 16:23 And I'm like, "This is what he's talking about." 16:26 So I run downstairs to the library, 16:28 and I'm pulling all the encyclopedias out, 16:30 looking up the Sabbath, 16:32 like what is going on 16:34 that this is in a Sunday school book, 16:37 and they're not respecting this commandment, 16:41 so I remember a very spiritual experience 16:45 that evening that 16:47 it seemed like it was just starry in the room, 16:49 and I sat up there and said, "Lord, I understand, 16:53 I see what you're talking about, you know," 16:57 and he came in later, and I said, "I got it." 17:01 Yeah, she was in... 17:03 She said, "I got it." 17:05 And you're like, "What you got it?" 17:07 Right. Right. 17:09 I got it. I got it. 17:10 Just like that. Yeah. 17:12 And so we went to the church, 17:13 I think the next week or the next day, 17:15 I said, "What kind of church, 17:16 where is your church, where do we go?" 17:19 So you see what I mean in terms of her... 17:21 I mean, I can't... 17:23 You had that faith, you believed in that witness. 17:27 You know, it reminds me of Arthur and I... 17:28 When I... 17:30 And he came into the church, when I first met him, 17:32 but I waited, you know, 17:33 the three years before we married, 17:36 but he, I introduced it to him, I gave him the Bible, 17:39 I gave him certain books, and he came back to me, 17:44 and he says, "I'm done with shrimp, 17:47 I'm done with lobster, 17:48 I'm done with it 'cause it was right there 17:50 in the Book of Leviticus." 17:52 And I was praying, and he said, the Sabbath, 17:56 and I remember writing down he died on Friday, 18:00 he rose on Sunday, I said, 18:01 "But what did he do on Saturday?" 18:04 And he said, "He rested." 18:06 And I said, "Arthur, He could have sent 10,000 angels, 18:08 but He had to set the example." 18:10 Arthur said right there, "He says I'm all in." 18:14 Amen. Isn't that something? 18:15 Isn't that something? Yes. 18:17 And was there, and, you know, and you were witness to him, 18:21 and you mentored him. 18:23 Praise the Lord. 18:24 And so together, so let's look at now, married, 18:29 Seventh-day Adventist, 18:32 but I noticed that you didn't take 18:34 your jewelry off for a little while. 18:36 Did you struggle with that a little bit? 18:37 I did. 18:39 Actually, I decided I would wear my jewelry 18:41 to church the day I got baptized, 18:43 I said, "This can't be." 18:44 I remember that too. 18:46 Everybody was like, "Did she put a jewelry back on?" 18:49 Folk was whispering. 18:50 They need to let these folks know, 18:52 you don't put your jewelry back on. 18:53 And you came back out and sat there with your jewelry on. 18:57 I sure did. I remember that Sabbath. 18:59 I know, what was I thinking? I don't know. 19:03 So I walk in, I just decided I'm gonna wear my jewelry 19:06 to baptism, you know, 19:07 that just shows you how the devil can confuse you. 19:11 And so, I guessed it probably was a meeting of the elders. 19:14 And they came out and they said, 19:15 "Can we see you for a moment." 19:16 Yes, dingle it all the way back. 19:20 And they said, 19:21 "You're going to need to take your jewelry off?" 19:23 I said, "Why?" 19:24 And so, Pastor Harris is who... That Mark, yes. 19:27 He said, "Now you can do one of two things. 19:30 You can wear that jewelry 19:32 or you can give it all up for Jesus." 19:35 That's all he said, I went. 19:37 I took it off and never put it back on. 19:39 And you haven't? No. 19:40 Praise the Lord. I've been... 19:42 I'll watch you. 19:43 Praise the Lord. Yes. 19:45 So then after that, rooted in the church, 19:48 very, very busy church, children came along, children, 19:52 you have two beautiful daughters. 19:54 Eve has just completed her Batchelor's degree 19:58 from Andrews University in mortuary science. 20:00 How did you feel when she says, 20:02 "This is what I want to do now?" 20:04 You know, 'cause she went to Oakwood, and it didn't work, 20:09 brought her back home, and God led her to this, 20:12 so how did you feel about that? 20:14 We were little concerned at first because, you know, 20:17 it's just a really, heavy emotional field. 20:20 And I just want to make sure she was, you know, 20:22 could handle that all the time, you know, 20:26 handle death all the time, so we just watched her, 20:29 making sure she's sleeping, making sure she's eating, 20:32 I even ask her, "How are you sleeping?" 20:35 But, you know, she wanted to be a physician, 20:37 and then she wanted to be special in... 20:39 She wanted to do plastic surgery, 20:42 then she wanted to do special education like me. 20:44 And so I think... 20:46 And then she's just artistic like her dad, 20:48 so I think all of those that caring, 20:50 compassionate part and that art 20:52 is what she brings into how she, 20:55 you know, to the mortuary side. 20:56 And, you know, I didn't think about that all day, 20:58 you're not just there greeting the families, 21:01 you know, overseeing, you know, 21:03 the person to family members loved one, 21:05 but you are constantly going to the services, 21:08 you are going to cemetery, that is a lot. 21:12 So we know that God is leading 21:14 because you have raised her well. 21:16 And so, we praise God because, you know, 21:19 and I don't mean to say this joke, 21:20 but somebody got to do it. 21:22 And if it's not Michael, 21:23 and I pray the Lord for Eve here. 21:25 Amen. Amen. 21:26 And now Eden, you know, 21:28 we interviewed Eden, and we thank the Lord, 21:30 and she's going into her second year? 21:32 Yes. On the dean's list. Bauman College. 21:34 You know, on the dean's list, 21:36 you know, in Atlanta, do you miss her? 21:37 Oh, yes. 21:41 Go ahead. 21:44 You know, she skipped a grade. 21:45 Yes, I remember that. 21:49 She didn't want anybody to know that she was only what... 21:53 How old is she? She's 16. 21:54 It happened probably when she's like... 21:55 Yeah, yeah, 16. 21:57 She didn't want people to know she was 15 21:58 and thinking everybody else was older. 22:01 Older, right. But when she got to... 22:03 When she left the high school, went to Spellman, 22:06 she didn't miss a beat. 22:08 Just blossomed. Oh, boy. 22:09 She's already blossomed now, you know. 22:12 You know, each child is different. 22:14 Eden... 22:15 Eve is a very deep thinker, Eden is also, 22:21 but Eden is more like focus 22:27 and on to it all the time. 22:29 All the time. Yeah, and at the beginning. 22:34 That's really the difference there, 22:36 but Eve, she's all medical material. 22:42 You know, all doctor whatever feel. 22:45 But she said, well, should I say that? 22:47 I don't know what you're going to say. 22:49 She said she rather deal with people than... 22:54 Deceased versus person being alive. 22:56 Yeah, right, right, 22:57 rather than deal with those personalities. 22:58 Yeah. 23:00 Ever since she was young, she... 23:04 She went to the university college 23:07 when she took the college courses and she was 14. 23:10 Yeah, she was with nursing students, 23:12 students and everything. 23:14 So she's always enjoyed the medical field like that? 23:16 Yes. The sciences. 23:17 Yeah, she's a scientist. 23:20 How do you handle the challenges? 23:22 I mean, this beautiful marriage relationship, 23:25 you know, but how do you handle your challenges 23:29 or your differences? 23:30 Between the two of us. 23:32 Yes, between the two of you 23:33 'cause there are no perfect people now. 23:35 That's true. No perfect marriages. 23:36 Correct. 23:37 And I know how strong willed she is. 23:39 Girl, we're two of a kind. Yes. 23:42 I told after that too. 23:46 I'll have to say he is patient. Yes. 23:49 And that he is so patient. 23:52 It's nothing but the Holy Spirit 23:54 that gives him that patience. 23:56 And that's an example for me 23:58 because I'm not the most patient person. 24:02 And so I always have to go back 24:04 and get on my knees and pray and review the day, 24:08 and say, "You know, what did I do, 24:09 what did I say, what could I have done bad." 24:11 Because I see so much love coming out of, 24:15 it just bleeds like love and patience and kindness 24:19 like I was saying the other day, 24:21 my water was upstairs next to the bed, 24:23 and I was like, "I don't like my water uncovered." 24:29 I looked and sometimes it'll make me weak 24:32 when I see him do little things, 24:33 and I was like, "Now, you know, go and get me, 24:36 just put a little top on my water next to the bed." 24:40 And that's just how he is, 24:42 you know, we fast forward to the children which, 24:44 you know, I had, I lost two sons 24:47 when we first got married, 24:49 and one of the things that touched my heart 24:51 so is that all the weeping, 24:53 he never got tired of me crying. 24:56 You know, how some people will say, 24:57 "Now you've cried about that." 24:59 But every time I would cry, he would hold me, 25:01 and every time I want to talk about it, 25:03 he would, you know, listen 25:05 and that's what we do when we have a problem. 25:07 It's not always an easy conversation, 25:09 but we'll say, "Now you know why I didn't like it 25:11 when you did that or I didn't like, 25:12 you know, well, you know," and then we won't even bring, 25:14 well, God may not want to know, 25:16 sometime we make a mistake and bring him in, 25:18 but we try to make sure that we talk it out. 25:22 That's how you do it. Yes. 25:23 We pray together. 25:25 We study the Word. We study the Word. 25:27 And see you in Sabbath school, you know, a blessing. 25:30 How do... Are you still athletic? 25:33 Are you still running and doing all those things? 25:34 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 25:35 You know, praise God, 25:38 you know, you enjoy traveling? 25:40 Yes. You do that. 25:42 Now I remember when you introduce the health message, 25:44 we have about two minutes, 25:45 and we weren't ready to receive it, 25:47 but I truly receive it now. 25:50 And it changed my life in every aspect. 25:53 I want to ask, this is a very sensitive question, 25:57 I remember you coming to the house, 25:58 and you were sitting with me there on the floor, 26:01 laughing and making sure I ate after Arthur passed. 26:04 And your mother, 26:06 I know we were there at your mother's services, 26:09 how did your husband help you through that? 26:13 I know it's hard 'cause you loved your mother. 26:16 I did. 26:17 He loved my mother, and my mother loved him, 26:21 and, you know, he took care of my mother just like, 26:25 one of the things with my mother, 26:26 she ended up, her heart stopped, 26:28 and so she didn't know she has some brain injury, 26:32 and she didn't even know me, 26:34 but when he walked in the room, 26:36 she said, "There is my son-in-law." 26:37 I said what's his name, "Marvin." 26:39 I said who is that, "My son-in-law." 26:41 So out of all the people, she remembered her son-in-law. 26:46 And just that tenderness again around caring for my mother, 26:51 caring for me, taking her to dialysis, 26:54 and even with my dad now. 26:56 I mean, he took care of my dad 26:57 like he was his father. 27:00 And you're still right there together. 27:02 I cannot believe how fast this went. 27:04 I mean, this is amazing, we have about 56 minutes... 27:07 Seconds, 56 seconds, closing thoughts, 27:10 how to have genuine friendship in a marriage? 27:14 Talk. 27:16 Make sure you have fun together. 27:18 This is my best friend. 27:19 I don't really talk to like, 27:21 you know, people have girlfriends and all. 27:23 If I got a problem, this is who I'm going to talk to. 27:26 So he is my best friend. 27:28 Okay, Marvin. 27:30 Well, my wife... 27:32 Just be willing to listen, 27:36 and not to just take your stand, 27:39 and to be open, and... 27:43 That's it. 27:44 And even if you feel that you're right, 27:49 allow space there for your mate. 27:53 Your mate. 27:54 And let the voice be heard and respect it. 27:57 Well, I hope all of you that are watching today 28:00 that you truly can look at your relationship 28:02 and find genuine friendship. 28:04 I'm Dr. Kim, I want to thank you both for being with us 28:07 on Live to be Well. 28:09 Remember, there's genuine friendship in a marriage. 28:12 God bless. |
Revised 2018-04-23