Participants:
Series Code: LTBW
Program Code: LTBW000024A
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00:35 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim, and welcome to Live to be Well.
00:40 Have you thought about how your life is changing? 00:43 We change, we evolve every day. 00:46 I am so happy to have a special guest 00:49 Mrs. Paula Henry, welcome. 00:51 Thank you, Dr. Kim. 00:52 God is so good. Thank you so much. 00:54 Amen, yes, He is. Amen. 00:55 You know, when I was thinking about 00:56 the title of your program, I thought about 00:59 what you've been going through, 01:00 and the Lord put it on my heart, I am Changing. 01:04 And truly, you are evolving 01:07 but you've have gone through a lot of changes. 01:09 Yes. 01:10 So let's talk a little bit about your humble beginnings, 01:14 where you are from, family origin, marriage, 01:16 Detroit, you have two beautiful children, 01:19 and then let's transition to what has happened. 01:23 All right, so are you a native Detroiter? 01:25 I am, I was born and raised in Detroit. 01:27 East side? West side? West side. 01:29 Oh, whatever. Okay, East side. 01:32 Okay, we'll let you have that one. 01:34 You know, you know, people don't understand 01:35 outside of Detroit what that means 01:37 'cause they don't have that battle in other states. 01:40 But it's always been like that 01:41 with East side square and the West side. 01:43 East side and the West side. 01:44 You know, you got to be from Detroit to understand. 01:46 Absolutely. 01:47 So how long have you been married? 01:49 So I have been married, it will be 21 years this year. 01:53 Really? Yes. 01:54 Congratulations. Look at that smile. 01:57 You know, every time I see you in pictures, 01:59 you're just smiling, you know, Brother Troy going this way, 02:02 you're going that way, you're in front of him. 02:04 Yeah. 02:05 Looking like teenagers, you know. 02:07 Yeah, that's my guy. Yeah. So how many children? 02:10 I have two biological children, and we have two... 02:13 I call them my love children. 02:15 Yes. Wonderful. Yes. 02:16 And you're so excited 02:18 because your son started college last year. 02:20 So I have a sophomore in college 02:22 and a sophomore in high school. 02:24 Isn't that too cute? What! 02:26 The cutest thing. You know, so what is it like? 02:29 Your son and then here is your daughter sophomore. 02:31 Does she miss her brother when he's away? 02:33 You know, they really have a wonderful relationship. 02:35 That's a blessing. 02:37 Yes, you know, 'cause when I was coming up, 02:38 we couldn't fight as siblings, so my children cannot as well. 02:42 And it's something, you know, 02:44 you have an older brother and a younger sister, 02:46 and they go through a little, you know. 02:47 But they love each other. 02:49 She misses him when he's not at home. 02:50 Does he miss her? He does. 02:52 Does he? He does, yes. 02:54 They've been together all summer 02:55 'cause he's home from school. 02:56 Oh, my goodness. 02:58 You gave him the most awesome open house. 03:00 I could not attend 03:01 because Arthur was ill at the time. 03:03 But I saw the beautiful pictures, 03:05 I was like, "I need to do this, I need to do that. 03:08 That was beautiful." 03:09 Yeah, we had a good time. We had a good time. 03:10 So siblings, how many siblings do you have? 03:13 I have a twin sister. No! 03:15 I do. I do. 03:17 You know, have we talked about that before? 03:18 You know, I'm not sure. 03:19 I don't think I've ever heard you say that. 03:21 Are you identical or fraternal? Fraternal. 03:23 And who's the eldest? 03:24 And we have two birth certificates, 03:26 believe it or not, one says I'm the oldest 03:28 and the other says she's the oldest. 03:29 What! 03:31 But my mother says I'm the oldest by 12 minutes. 03:32 So I'm taking that one. 03:34 You're going to take in and believe what mama says. 03:35 Yeah. 03:36 Well, let's talk about your educational background 03:38 and what you do for living. 03:40 So currently, I am an assistant principal 03:43 for National Heritage Academies. 03:46 We are called Deans, 03:47 and I'm currently over grades four through eight. 03:49 Wow, those are their serious ages. 03:52 Yes. They're finding themselves. 03:53 Absolutely. 03:55 The most unique time in their life. 03:57 I like what you said there, unique time. 03:58 They're their special individuals in that time. 04:02 You know, what kind of a fourth grader were you? 04:04 You know, I was always a quiet student, you know, 04:07 I was the kind that love the teacher 04:09 and kind of want to be near the teacher, you know. 04:11 I had to work hard for it. You worked hard? 04:13 Did you matriculate right through? 04:14 Yeah. Passed all your classes in... 04:16 I did. Well, most of them. 04:18 Most of them. Most of them. 04:19 We'll say, we'll get to high school, 04:21 math wasn't my easiest, yeah. 04:23 Okay, let's just be transparent. 04:25 You know, let's just call it. 04:26 And it's good because young people 04:28 watch the program and they need to know 04:30 that we too struggle. 04:32 Yeah, absolutely. But we didn't give up. 04:33 Absolutely. Absolutely. 04:35 And I went to, you know, "Premier" Detroit School, 04:38 I went to Castaic. 04:40 Oh, my mom went into Cas. 04:41 You know, I always thought 04:43 you all were something over there. 04:44 Well, we were a bit special. 04:45 You all were. 04:47 Okay. Yeah, yeah. 04:49 And then from Cas, where did you attend? 04:50 So I went to central Michigan for undergrad, 04:53 and I graduated with a degree in recreation administration. 04:57 Now did you go to Ohio? 04:59 No, I went to Mount Pleasant, Michigan. 05:00 Oh, you went to Mount Pleasant? I did. 05:01 Three hours away, first time I've been away 05:03 from my twin sister. 05:05 Really? Yeah. 05:06 I went on the Track scholarship. 05:07 Did you? Track? I did. 05:09 Listen... tell me about Paula. 05:11 I went to Central Michigan on a Track scholarship... 05:14 Well, you could run, girl. 05:15 Little, some, some, not too much. 05:18 And my sister went to Eastern. 05:20 And so, you know, my parents were, you know, 05:22 middle class, so it was expensive to send, 05:25 you know, both kids to college. 05:26 So I got a Track scholarship, 05:27 and my sister went through the military. 05:29 Okay. 05:30 So I graduated from Central, and then I came home, 05:32 and I started working for the Detroit, 05:34 city of Detroit in a chain park and with the festivals 05:38 'cause I wanted to work in a recreation center. 05:39 Well, where were you 05:41 when I needed to get in free, okay. 05:42 Well, back then you could get into the festival. 05:45 Yeah, it was, yeah. Those were the best times. 05:47 Yes, we had a great time. 05:50 You know, I once wanted worked with kids, 05:52 but I knew before I left Central 05:53 that I needed to get my teacher certificate. 05:55 But I was ready to come home, and so I came home, 05:58 and found that with the recreation, you know, 06:01 was a lot of seniority. 06:02 So I started substitute teaching. 06:04 And there from subbing, I get my bachelor's degree 06:07 in education from Oakland University. 06:10 And then I went on, you know, with teaching, 06:13 you have to be certified every five years. 06:14 Yeah. 06:16 So I got a master's degree in reading 06:17 from UM-Dearborn. 06:20 And I got another master's degree 06:23 in special education. 06:25 All right. 06:27 Because working for Detroit Public Schools 06:29 at that time, we needed more certified teachers 06:33 in special education, so they sent me to special ed. 06:35 And then I pursued a degree in educational leadership 06:39 which is now afforded me the opportunity to be 06:42 in administration now so. 06:43 Oh, my goodness. Yeah. 06:45 So were you married with children doing all of this? 06:48 Well, when I did my master's degree, I was. 06:50 Yes. 06:52 And my husband supported me throughout the entire time. 06:55 I couldn't have gotten without him. 06:56 Isn't that a blessing? I'm so blessed. 06:58 Does he cook? Oh, he's wonderful. 07:00 Ha can cook? Yes. 07:01 Really? 07:03 He can cook, he can clean, he can do it all. 07:04 He wash? Yes! 07:06 Does he wash? My husband is wonderful. 07:07 He's a superman! He is. He is. 07:09 All right. And works at the same time. 07:11 What do you say? Yes. 07:13 You are all in love. 07:14 Look at you. I am. 07:16 I love my husband. I love my husband so much. 07:17 That is a blessing. He's so good to me. 07:19 That's a blessing. 07:20 So let's talk about I am Changing 07:24 and when did the change begin and what was this change? 07:29 When I left Detroit Public Schools 07:32 which I never thought that I would, you know, 07:33 but with the way the system was going, you know, 07:35 I needed to make sure I could take care of my family. 07:38 I went over to National Heritage Academies 07:40 which is NHA 07:41 and it was a different set up all together. 07:43 Is that a charter school? 07:44 It is a public charter organization, 07:46 and it is very systematic, I mean, 07:48 everything is very organized, and so it was different 07:52 from what I was used to 07:54 and so it was a little bit stress for me going, 07:56 coming in from the outside. 07:58 Most people grow up in NHAs, what we call it, 08:01 and so me coming in from outside public, you know, 08:05 to charter, it was a lot of changes, 08:08 it was a lot of, you know, 08:10 learning different operating systems. 08:13 Going from being a teacher to an administrator 08:16 is the big job as well. 08:18 So it was a lot of stress, you know, learning everything. 08:21 So I kind of noticed 08:22 'cause at the time I had sisterlocks, 08:24 I had a beautiful head of sisterlocks, 08:26 I mean, just streaming down. 08:28 And so I started going through some, you know, 08:31 some stress and I noticed I would start getting, 08:33 you know, my locks we're starting to falling out. 08:36 It's like, okay, I didn't think too much of it, 08:37 maybe it was just me, maybe, you know. 08:39 And then that was in 2012 when I started there and then, 08:44 you know, I was there a couple years. 08:46 And then my dad passed. 08:48 And so my twin sister now lives in Texas, 08:51 before that she was in Illinois, 08:53 my younger sister lives in Indiana. 08:56 And so my brother who was killed unfortunately, 09:01 yes, I had a brother who was murdered. 09:02 So I'm the only child here, so it was just me and my mom. 09:06 Yes. 09:07 So after my dad died, it was very stressful. 09:10 You don't realize how grief can almost consume you, 09:14 how it can just take over your life, 09:17 and how you internalize it. 09:19 And I didn't realize that I was I think 09:22 internalizing it inward, you know, 09:24 I'm trying to take care of mom, you know, 09:25 making sure she's okay 'cause she's there by herself 09:28 and my sisters weren't there and then I'm working 09:30 'cause my mom lives in Detroit, I live in Novi, 09:34 and I work in Bellevue. 09:35 So of course, I'm still a wife, I'm still a mother, and my job. 09:40 So, you know, it was just taking a toll on me, 09:42 it was taking a toll. 09:43 So, you know, obviously I'm here doing this 09:45 and you know, like... 09:46 and then losing that lock or... 09:49 And then I would go and get my hair retightened 09:50 and it started up top. 09:54 It was a small circle, 09:56 then the circle got a little bit bigger, 09:57 just smooth. 09:59 And the circle continued to grow and then eventually, 10:02 I said, "Well, I'm going to have to take my locks out, 10:04 'cause maybe it was heavy, you know, 10:06 so let me cut my locks out." 10:08 And then I started wearing a wig. 10:11 And I'm not a hair person so, you know, 10:15 how people can go and style and, you know, 10:17 that wasn't my forte. 10:19 My mother was worried when I had a daughter 10:20 'cause she was like what am I going to do with her. 10:23 And so I started to wear wigs, 10:24 I would go to the beauty barber store, 10:26 and it was just like wow, 'cause wigs come in all colors. 10:30 Oh, yes. 10:31 All shapes, sizes, long hair, short hair, curly, grey, black, 10:36 red, I mean, it was just... 10:38 Too many to choose from. Yeah, too many to choose from. 10:39 So I had to try to get used to that wearing a wig 10:42 because I was worried, you know, 10:44 when you talk about your hair, that's who you are. 10:47 Self-image. It's your... 10:48 it is, you know. 10:49 And so going from locks down here to no locks 10:53 and to wearing a wig I had to find out 10:55 if a short do works for you, if a long do works for you. 10:59 And then, you know, 11:00 you still have to go to work everyday 11:02 and be professional. 11:03 So I was just, you know, wearing wigs 11:05 and my family was supporting me and, you know, 11:07 I'll try one wig and, you know, "Oh, it looks good," 11:10 and, you know, try another one, and it looks good. 11:14 And finally, and during this process, 11:17 I was still getting injections 11:18 'cause I was going to the doctor 11:20 trying to grow my hair back. 11:21 So you still didn't know what you had? 11:23 No, I didn't know. 11:25 I started going to the doctor and she told me then 11:27 at that point, I started going to the doctor, 11:29 and I wrote it down making sure I have in notes, 11:31 in August of 2013. 11:34 And she, then at that point, 11:35 told me that it was alopecia areata. 11:37 I'm like, "Well, what is that?" 11:39 I had heard of alopecia before." 11:41 And she was saying that, you know, it's a hair loss. 11:44 But I had heard was that is the result of stress. 11:47 Of course, they won't say that it is stress. 11:49 I knew I had a lot of stress in my life at that time. 11:52 So I started going to the doctor, 11:54 I would go once a month for these monthly injections. 11:56 And I just kept going and kept going, 11:59 and I went for almost two years 12:02 getting these monthly injections 12:04 while I'm still wearing wigs and everything. 12:06 And then I changed doctors and went to another doctor 12:10 who decided that we needed a more intensive treatment. 12:15 And then I started getting injections every other week, 12:18 and I did that for almost another year and a half. 12:21 And I had just had enough. 12:25 My husband, they were keep telling me, 12:26 you know, come home. 12:28 As soon as I get in the car from the job, I get in the car, 12:30 take that wig off and throw it in a back seat 12:33 'cause I'm like, I'm just hot, you know, 12:36 come home put my durag on. 12:38 And my husband and my kids will be like, 12:40 "You know, mom, you're okay. 12:41 You don't have to worry about that." 12:43 You know, they just constantly makes me 12:45 a little emotional on that 12:46 because they constantly were supporting me. 12:48 You know, whatever I was going through that day, 12:51 "You're fine mom," my daughter will say, 12:53 "You're beautiful." 12:55 Yes. 12:56 But you just had to get a place 12:58 where you have to believe it for yourself. 13:00 Yes. 13:02 And so I finally decided I would just shave it all off 13:05 and so I was still wearing a wig. 13:07 And I remember, you know, as a teacher, 13:09 we had those two weeks off of Christmas break. 13:14 It was Friday, December 19, 2015, 13:18 and I had decided I was not wearing another wig. 13:22 Wow. 13:24 I said, "God, this where I am, if this is where I am, 13:27 this is where I am." 13:28 I don't know why, you know, I used to think like, 13:30 "Why am I going through this? 13:32 Why me?" You know. 13:34 But at that point, it was just me and Jesus, and I said, 13:38 "Okay, this is what it is. 13:39 It could be worse." Oh, yes. 13:41 I could have breast cancer. 13:42 I could have all kind of things. 13:44 But if it's just a matter of putting a wig on 13:46 or not wearing a wig, 13:47 then this is where we are, Jesus. 13:49 So I haven't had on another wig 13:51 since Friday, December 19, 2015. 13:54 What do you say? 13:55 And when you embrace it, 13:57 everybody else can well with it. 13:59 I love it. I love it. 14:02 And, you know, they were like, "Wow." 14:04 And people were just telling me, you know. 14:06 "You're so brave." I wasn't trying to be brave. 14:08 Yes. 14:09 I had just got to a place I just say, 14:11 "God, if this is where we are, this is where we are. 14:12 I don't know why." 14:14 I still don't know but I get so many compliments, 14:18 and people are always telling me, 14:20 "You know, you're so brave, 14:22 you're so this, you're so courageous." 14:23 I mean, people will just be in tears 14:25 'cause I came to the quire, I was in quire at church, 14:29 no wig and everything, they're just like, 14:31 "Oh, you look so beautiful." 14:33 I'm like, "Okay." 14:35 And your co-workers are the same? 14:36 Everyone. Your students? 14:38 My principal, she's told me, she is along with my husband, 14:41 she said, "Just wear bald." 14:43 Just go bald. My principal. 14:44 So even in that place and time in my life, 14:47 God blessed me with a wonderful principal 14:49 who supported me along this journey. 14:51 She said, "Just wear bald," 14:52 cause I will go and take my wig off. 14:55 She's like, "It's fine. You got a nice little head." 14:59 You do, you do. 15:01 I remember when I met you, 15:03 you had called me for counseling. 15:06 And I said she's such a beautiful woman 15:09 because my oldest had gone through breast cancer. 15:13 And she had called my husband, my late husband, and said, 15:16 "Dad, you know, I had my first chemo treatment, 15:19 and my hair is coming out." 15:20 She had beautiful, beautiful long hair. 15:22 And she said, "Dad, who do I do?" 15:25 He said, "Make an appointment with your barber, cut it off." 15:29 And she called me, and I didn't handle it as well. 15:33 She says, "Well, mom, what do you think I should do?" 15:36 And I froze on the phone. And she says, "Mom?" 15:40 And I said, "I can't talk right now." 15:43 So she was so hurt. 15:45 And at her third chemo treatment, 15:47 we went down to see her. 15:49 And I went to hug her, and she says, 15:51 "Can you embrace me? 15:53 Can you embrace this because the hair is gone, mom. 15:58 But what's important is that 16:00 I'm working through this cancer. 16:02 This is what's important, not the hair." 16:04 Right, right. 16:05 I was so ashamed 'cause I was just concerned about the image. 16:09 Right, right, because you're mom, 16:11 you're our mom, you want to make sure that we're okay. 16:14 Yes. So forgive yourself. 16:16 I did. Amen. 16:18 I appreciate that. Amen. 16:19 And my husband helped me to understand. 16:23 And to this day, she always says, 16:25 "Mommy, daddy, embrace my bald head," 16:27 you know. 16:29 And she did this, she wears the stone, 16:30 you see her, different colors they would have, you know. 16:32 She's beautiful. 16:34 And she says you're beautiful 'cause she saw you on my page 16:38 and so she always identifies 16:41 when she see that beautiful head, you know. 16:43 Yeah. Yeah. 16:45 I'm thinking about embracing it, 16:46 myself doing something. 16:47 Oh, what? You don't hold me to it. 16:49 Okay. Okay. 16:52 So your husband Troy was supportive, 16:55 your children... The entire way. 16:58 How do you feel as a woman? 17:00 You know, initially, it was tough 17:02 because like you say your hair is your glory and what not. 17:05 And you know, when I first did it, you know, 17:09 I would be at home, you know, I wouldn't wear it out. 17:11 And I'm like, "We look so much alike now," 17:13 I'm like, you know. 17:14 And then I wonder how did it make him feel, you know, 17:16 having a wife who's bald, you know. 17:19 And he, from day one has always loved me for me. 17:24 He has always. I mean, you know how we do. 17:27 We go through all these changes, 17:28 and he's like, "Okay, you're good today. 17:31 Well, you know, tomorrow is something else." 17:33 But he has just always, he's loved me even, you know, 17:37 when there are times especially as women, 17:38 we don't like what we look like, you know. 17:41 But when I say from day one, my Troy... 17:44 Your Troy, look at you. My troy. 17:46 He's been there. 17:48 He's just like, "Just wear bald." 17:49 He kept telling me, I'm like, "No, honey, 17:51 I can't wear like this going to work." 17:52 Well, he's like, "Just wear your bald, 17:54 just wear your bald." 17:55 And my kids, "Mom, you don't need that durag. 17:57 You don't need that." 17:59 Just have them embracing, I'm like, 18:00 "Now I have my family," my mom, my sister... 18:03 Everyone? Everyone. 18:04 Why am I worried about what other people think? 18:07 But again, I believe it's human nature. 18:08 Yes, it is. 18:10 It is 'cause we want to make sure 18:11 that we look a certain way. 18:13 Acceptable. We want to be acceptable. 18:14 We want to be acceptable. Yes. 18:15 Exactly. 18:17 But at the end, like I said, when you get to a place, 18:18 and I know it was God that helped get to that place 18:19 'cause it takes time, 18:21 and everybody can't do right now 18:22 what I have done. Right. 18:24 And everybody can't do the right now and maybe later. 18:25 Right. 18:27 You know, "Maybe, I don't know." 18:28 Right. 18:30 You know, their phases of, you know, acquiring my growth. 18:33 Absolutely. 18:34 So I can't allow your time to be my time 18:36 and God's time is not our time. 18:38 Amen. 18:39 Now no one else in the family has alopecia, no one else? 18:43 Well, what's interesting is that I had one little spot 18:47 when I was in college. 18:49 And like I said, I was running Track 18:50 and it could have been just like I said, 18:52 never been away from home. 18:54 And I went to the doctor, I got some injections, 18:56 it grew right back. 18:57 My son had a little episode, 18:59 and I think it's having to do with... 19:01 he had a little girlfriend, little stressful. 19:03 Little girlfriend, oh, oh. Little stressful. 19:05 Is he still with the girlfriend? 19:07 Is he still dating? 19:08 No, that's a different girl now. 19:10 Okay, somebody new. Yeah, somebody different. 19:12 And he had a similar episode so I don't know 19:16 if it's hereditary, or if it's... 19:19 I really believe that stress is what triggers it, 19:23 that brings it out, you know. 19:25 I did read that in my research. 19:26 Did you? Okay. 19:28 You know, so. 19:29 I really believe that 'cause like I said 19:31 I was under a lot of stress at the time. 19:36 And he's the same way. 19:38 He had a couple episodes so I'm wondering, 19:40 so I'm always trying to make sure, "Okay, honey, 19:42 what's going on, let's talk about it." 19:44 So but I don't know. 19:45 But you're done with the injections. 19:47 I'm done. Done. 19:49 What did those injections do, were there side effects? 19:52 Not for me per se. 19:54 But it's not necessarily the easiest thing to go and... 19:57 It's like little shot that they're putting in your head. 20:00 And so even when I went to the new doctor 20:04 that I went to, they always, you know, 20:06 people think I'm the life over the priority, 20:08 I wouldn't why. 20:09 No, you know they're saying why, go ahead. 20:11 All right. 20:12 But I just go in and I just, you know, "Hey, you know, 20:14 how is everybody?" 20:16 And I wouldn't wear hat, I has stopped wearing a wig 20:19 and they were just amazed that I came in, they are like, 20:22 "Yeah, well, hey, this is it." 20:24 And so she actually wanted me... 20:27 she wanted make it a little bit more... 20:32 What is the word I'm trying to use, intense. 20:34 And I was like, "No, I'm done." 20:37 You know, we need to look at, you know, 20:39 how women view themselves, not to say 20:42 men don't have struggles with self esteems, 20:44 self image, you know, we see on television now, 20:48 you can, you know, grow your hair back, 20:50 come get these injections and all this and that. 20:52 And they've got, you know, wigs, wigs, and all that. 20:54 I'm not saying, putting anybody down, 20:57 I do my thing. 20:58 Right. Right. 21:00 But my issue is the inward character 21:03 that's under attack 'cause, you know, 21:06 you can spend thousands and thousands of dollars 21:09 for your hair and outward appearance, 21:12 but if your mindset is destroyed and crippled, 21:16 then you can't get out of that, you know. 21:18 Yeah. 21:19 And so you have to find a way to recognize, as a woman, 21:23 you know, your own beauty. 21:25 So if you have one word to define your beauty, 21:28 what would it be? 21:29 One word to define my beauty would be 21:35 maybe I would just say love. 21:37 Love? Love. 21:38 I would because you have to get to that place 21:42 where you love who you are. 21:44 Yes. 21:45 I mean, and it's not necessarily 21:49 the easiest place to get to because as women, 21:52 we want to be beautiful. 21:53 You see things in the magazines and on TV. 21:56 Yes. 21:57 But you have to get to that place 21:58 where you just love you and because God loves me, 22:03 whatever I'm going through, 22:05 there's a purpose and a plan for it. 22:06 Yes. 22:08 If it's to help one sister, say, "Hey, it's okay." 22:11 Yes. 22:12 "You're beautiful." Yes. 22:14 If I had to be bald to help that sister, then amen. 22:18 Then that's your ministry. Then that's what it is. 22:20 You know, this is a ministry for you, when people see you... 22:22 You think? 22:23 Yes, because you have embraced who you are, 22:26 you don't have to... 22:27 I don't know if I could do it, my kid did it, 22:30 other women may not be able to be as strong or men. 22:33 But I do know is if anything that God takes you to 22:37 and brings you through... 22:39 Amen. Come on now, can I say it? 22:41 Come on now. 22:42 Anything that God takes you to, 22:43 brings you through is for His glory. 22:46 Amen. 22:47 And for Him to use that to win someone to His kingdom, 22:51 to inspire someone with hope, 22:53 to give someone a sense of pride. 22:56 And, Paula, you have a sense of pride about you. 22:58 Oh, thank you, doctor, to know that. 22:59 You know, I mean, from the moment I met you, 23:02 how do you did... 23:03 you know, you see your beautiful little girls 23:05 in your school, how do you deal with them 23:07 when you see a little one who may not, 23:10 maybe struggling with self esteem, 23:12 or being bullied, or you know, may not be as clean 23:16 and or hygiene issues, how do you deal with that 23:19 as a woman and as a vice principal? 23:21 You know, I start with a very bigger one, 23:25 relationships because if you know I care about you, 23:29 then I can win you, I can talk to you. 23:31 You know, if you know I have your heart, 23:33 then I think I can have your ear as well. 23:36 So when I talk to my kids, that's a lot of the things 23:38 that I do with all of kids, you know, 23:40 you see this one side, I got another side. 23:43 You got the other side, okay. 23:44 And so when they know I'm coming like 23:46 but they know I'm coming in love. 23:47 In love. 23:48 They know I care enough about them to pull them 23:50 to the side and say, "Hey, we need to work on this." 23:52 And when I see my little girls, "You are beautiful. 23:55 It doesn't matter what anybody say 23:57 but you have to know." 23:58 Yes. "You got to feel it." 24:00 Yes. "You got to believe it." 24:02 Yes. 24:03 "You are beautiful and God created you 24:05 the way that you're supposed to be created." 24:07 I feel that. 24:08 I am beautiful, I am loved, I'm created in God's image. 24:12 Amen. 24:14 God has given me special gifts and talents. 24:15 Well, may not be yours, 24:17 but I know God has given me something. 24:19 And we need everybody's gifts... 24:22 To work. To make it all work together. 24:24 You know, 'cause we are melting part, 24:26 and no man is an island. 24:28 No man is island, we need one another. 24:30 Yes. 24:31 In order for this to work, I need you, you need me, 24:34 you know, we need each other to survive. 24:36 Amen. 24:38 So, you know, I've prayed for you, you prayed for me. 24:40 Amen. 24:42 You know, I will not speak words 24:43 against you, you know, or harm you 24:45 because I need you to survive. 24:47 Amen. And that's a blessing. 24:49 All right, we have about three minutes, 24:51 didn't it go fast? 24:52 Oh, my goodness, three minutes. Three minutes, I know. 24:55 How can you help someone else with alopecia realize 24:59 you can get through this and you don't have to hide? 25:02 You know, the first thing that 25:03 I definitely will suggest anybody 25:05 because I believe in therapy. 25:07 Even that's how we've met. Yes. 25:09 It makes a difference to talk to somebody 25:11 who's been through it. 25:13 You know, people from the outside can say 25:14 what they think, 25:16 but if you've never gone through, 25:17 you don't know my story. 25:19 Ask me about my story. Your story. 25:21 You know what I mean? 25:22 And talk to someone who's been through it, 25:25 who can empathize with you, 25:26 who can share their ups and their downs. 25:28 That's right. 25:29 You know, that that will help them 25:30 work their way through whatever it is, 25:33 the place that they need to get to. 25:34 Everybody may not get to this place, you know. 25:35 That's right. 25:37 Because the weeks and weeks, they're beautiful, 25:39 they're expressive, but they are beautiful. 25:42 And there's nothing wrong with them. 25:43 "Wear your wig, wear your wig," that's where you are. 25:46 And I used to wonder about, to hold your thought, 25:48 she would come up there with different artists, 25:51 and I'd say, "How did they change the hair so fast?" 25:53 And my mother said, 25:55 "Poor child, girl does the wigs." 25:56 I didn't know, I mean, I was a teenager, 25:59 and I'm like different things that were going on in society, 26:03 but as long as we can remember, you know, 26:07 we have been conditioned, you know, 26:10 outside of the '70 period 26:13 when we were in our Afro movement 26:14 and we are beautiful people, all right? 26:17 Yeah, we are. 26:18 So counseling, being able to embrace yourself 26:22 and look at your timing for you, all right. 26:26 Right. 26:27 And love who you are, love who you are. 26:31 I believe like I say, God has a purpose and a plan 26:34 for everything that we go through 26:36 and your journey maybe to help somebody else. 26:39 Do you put anything special on your head now? 26:41 I do absolutely nothing. 26:42 I may get a little oil sometimes, 26:44 get a little shine a little bit. 26:46 But when you talk about get up and go... 26:48 You are ready to go. I'm ready to go. 26:49 Isn't that wonderful? It is wonderful. 26:51 No curling, ironing, no this and that. 26:53 No, no. 26:54 But at the same time, knowing that 26:58 you want to be healthy, you know and... 27:01 Do you even have some workout together, 27:04 you know, go swimming, water aerobics, 27:05 what do you all do together? 27:07 Well, we do a lot of fellowshipping, you know, 27:10 we eat together, we need 27:13 a little bit more healthier things 27:15 because I do believe as well 27:17 because we want to live to be well. 27:19 That's right. I like that. 27:20 Say that again. 27:22 We want to live to be well. I like that. 27:23 So there are some things that we need to take, you know, 27:25 we need to step up on and doing. 27:27 So I thank the Lord for you. We got to step up to the place. 27:29 We do, we do, we do because I want to make sure 27:32 that nothing, I'm not doing anything 27:34 that's impacting it 27:35 and making my condition may be worse. 27:37 There are some things I need to do better, 27:38 absolutely, but we do a lot of stuff together, 27:42 we're going to work on that working out. 27:44 Well, listen, Miss Paula, I want to thank you so much 27:47 for coming on Live to be Well. 27:49 Thank you so much for having me, doctor. 27:51 You're welcome, and may God continue to use you. 27:53 I want you to know you don't have to hide, 27:55 you don't have to run, embrace who you are, 27:58 and love you because God created you in His image. 28:01 And we on Live to be Well, we love you. 28:04 I'm Dr. Kim, God bless. |
Revised 2018-01-31