Participants:
Series Code: LTBW
Program Code: LTBW190033S
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00:01 The following program features real clients
00:03 discussing sensitive issues. 00:05 The views and opinions expressed in this program 00:07 don't necessarily reflect 00:09 that of 3ABN's Dare to Dream Network. 00:11 Viewer discretion is advised. 00:49 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin, and welcome to Live To Be Well. 00:54 What is live to be well? 00:56 Mind, body, and soul, 00:58 but making sure 01:00 that God is ahead of all of our lives. 01:02 Today, I want to welcome Miss Malissa Martin. 01:05 Welcome to Live To Be Well. 01:06 Happy to be here. Happy to be here. 01:08 Thank you so much. 01:09 We want to talk about today, educated to educate others. 01:14 Let's talk about what you do for a profession? 01:17 Currently I am an English teacher. 01:19 I teach 10th, 11th, and 12th grade English 01:22 at E-Core High School. 01:23 And I also teach public speaking and English 01:26 at Wayne County Community College. 01:28 That's a full plate for such a young woman. 01:30 It is. 01:31 Now, I've known you since you were just one, 01:34 that was 35 years ago. 01:36 Thirty five years ago. That's amazing. 01:38 That makes me 40 then, right? 01:40 Wait, now we got our mess. 01:42 You gotta act pretty, we gotta carry some ones. 01:44 We're missing it. We're missing it. 01:46 Missing the cupboard, I'm missing it. 01:47 But I see you. 01:49 I've seen you grow in the church 01:51 being Seventh-day Adventist, 01:53 your father, third generation. 01:55 You are third generation, your mother, 01:57 you're two second generation. 01:58 You attended Peterson-Warren Academy, 02:01 which is our Seventh-day Adventist school 02:03 in Inkster, Michigan. 02:05 And where your mother was the former principal. 02:07 Yes, she was my teacher too. 02:09 What was that like? 02:10 You know what? 02:11 It was, I liked it. 02:13 I don't know if my sister and my brother did. 02:16 I enjoy my mom being there. 02:17 My mom's it all involved in English. 02:19 Oh, yes, she is. 02:21 So, for me having a parent at the school, 02:26 I liked it. 02:27 My mom, your mom was there. 02:29 Did you call her mom? 02:30 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 02:31 There wasn't my mom at school. 02:33 It was Miss Martin. 02:34 Miss. Martin. 02:36 And then the deal my parents had was, 02:37 our dad had to come to all our parent-teacher conference, 02:40 you know, even one time 02:41 they had a parent-teacher conference 02:43 with the two of them, 02:45 for her when she was teaching my sixth grade. 02:47 So she had to talk to your father. 02:49 They had a full blown conversation 02:52 about what if she could just at home, you know? 02:54 And I've been working with her. 02:56 So that was, that was a good deal. 02:57 But I enjoyed having my mom at school. 02:58 That's a blessing. I enjoyed it. 03:00 Do you feel that she was very instrumental 03:02 in guiding you to become an English teacher? 03:06 From the teacher aspect, 03:08 all of my teachers did that. 03:10 But at home it was different. 03:12 I was always a reader, so she fed my reading. 03:15 So my mom would pop up with, I got you three new books 03:18 and I read in three new books and I got you two new books. 03:20 So she was more hands on at home 03:24 Because she couldn't single me out at school. 03:26 But she was, she was definitely helpful at school, 03:28 but at home it was more individualized. 03:31 You have two siblings, 03:32 an older sister and a younger brother. 03:34 You're the middle child. 03:36 I'm the middle child. I'm the middle child. 03:37 The favorite. The favorite. 03:40 So let's talk about what's going on now 03:43 in the school system where you're teaching 03:46 and how it has evolved 03:48 from you being a 10th, 11th grader. 03:50 Right. 03:52 Can you give us some type of comparison? 03:54 What's now what you see now 03:56 being on the other side as the educator? 03:57 Okay. 03:59 Well I went to a private school for Seventh-day Adventist. 04:02 And I currently teach at a public school. 04:04 So I think first off that's the biggest difference 04:07 because in the morning, growing up 04:08 from elementary to high school, 04:10 you know, it's, 04:11 first we're going to have prayer together. 04:12 We might, the teacher might have a lesson 04:14 that she wants to read from we to us. 04:17 My school doesn't start like that. 04:18 I don't have prayer with my students. 04:21 I do pray over my classroom 04:23 before the students come in, 04:25 to make my room a safe haven. 04:27 And then I pray for the students as well. 04:29 So I think that's honestly the biggest difference. 04:32 The second biggest difference would have to be the world. 04:35 I mean, kids have their cell phones, 04:38 24 hours a day. 04:39 When I was a kid, 04:40 we only had pagers by the time I left high school. 04:44 Cell phones are really just now starting to become popular 04:47 outside of work or business people. 04:50 Yes. 04:52 So, that would be the biggest thing, 04:53 their cell phones. 04:54 And then the third would be, 04:56 if I had to list the top three home life, 04:59 because I like, I still see my teachers. 05:01 I still see my 5th grade teacher, 05:03 my 8th grade teacher, my 12th grade. 05:05 I still see my teachers weekly at church, you know? 05:09 Some of these kids, they don't some, not all, 05:12 they don't have a connection with their teachers. 05:15 Some of them don't know their parents. 05:17 Some of them don't live with their parents. 05:19 Some of their parents are incarcerated. 05:21 They don't know each other. 05:22 They didn't grow up together 05:23 like my parents grew up together, 05:25 like I grow with my friends, 05:26 my nephews grow up with the friends I had, 05:28 so they don't have that 05:29 generational expectation development. 05:33 So, how do you allow your spirituality 05:37 from not being able to pray in the classroom? 05:39 You pray over them, you pray over your classroom, 05:41 but is there anything 05:43 that you can implement in the classroom 05:46 as far as, the type of papers they write? 05:50 Can you take that type of perspective 05:51 or there's no spirituality, 05:54 you can't cross that line? 05:56 Well, there is a line. 05:58 Yeah, So let's say that there is a line, 05:59 I can't walk in class and say, 06:01 okay, everybody put down your heads, 06:03 we're going to read a devotion today. 06:04 I can't, I can't do that. 06:06 But when the time does arise 06:09 for me to speak about my faith or their faith, 06:12 or if they have questions, 06:14 those are the times 06:15 when I usually kind of make a beeline 06:17 to open up the conversation so we can talk about it. 06:20 So directly and indirectly. 06:23 It's funny, you asked me that. 06:24 So E-Core has tons of activities 06:26 for the kids to do. 06:27 They have a football team, basketball team, track team. 06:31 They even have a football girls team 06:33 called the Powerpuff girls. 06:35 So, they have activities through the week 06:37 for kids to play in games and other things like that. 06:40 They asked or required teachers to go to six events. 06:44 So sometimes the kids will ask me to come to one of the events 06:47 and I usually try to go throughout the week, 06:49 because I can't go on Friday and Saturday night. 06:52 So the kids will ask me to come to a game 06:54 on Friday or a Saturday, 06:55 and I have to tell them, 06:57 you know, I can't come to a game on Friday night. 06:59 It's my Sabbath. 07:00 Then I have to explain what a Sabbath is. 07:01 So that's another opportunity 07:03 for me to share my faith with the student. 07:06 That's a blessing. 07:08 Let's talk about your faith in God? 07:10 You know, why are you, 07:12 you know, you're our communication 07:14 director of our church. 07:15 And I have to say, she's a phenomenal, 07:17 we just had a lot of different events at our church. 07:21 And Malissa was over all these events. 07:24 It's a team, takes a team. 07:26 It takes a team, you know, am I on that team myself? 07:28 You're on my team. Oh, I'm already. 07:32 I've been so busy with Live To Be Well. 07:34 I'm going to make a meeting. That's okay. 07:37 So where and why, 07:39 why are you so still involved in your church home? 07:43 It is a personal decision. 07:46 I have fully decided 07:48 and made up in my mind 07:50 that there are certain things 07:52 that I need to do to feed my faith. 07:54 And if I don't do those things, 07:55 I'll start falling by the wayside. 07:58 And honestly, at the end of the day, 08:01 Jesus is the only thing, the only person 08:03 that I can rely on completely for everything at any time. 08:07 And I don't want to let go of that. 08:09 I won't let go of that. 08:11 So, you know, was there ever a time growing up 08:14 that you said to yourself, you know, 08:17 is this Jesus or God really real? 08:19 You know, did you ever question that? 08:21 No. 08:23 I don't know why. You never questioned. 08:24 What about you as a student at Oakwood University, 08:27 you earned your undergrad degree 08:28 at Oakwood. 08:30 Everybody doing their own thing, everybody. 08:31 You know, what about even an Oakwood School? 08:35 Now at school that's a whole different... 08:39 Can we be transparent? 08:40 We, a little bit. A little bit. 08:42 A little bit. 08:44 I think, well, as a middle child. 08:46 Right? 08:48 So I have someone in front of me, 08:49 someone behind me. 08:51 I didn't really have, I was always Wanita's daughter, 08:56 Camille sister, or Alex sister. 08:58 I was never just Malissa. 09:01 That's the reason why I went to Oakwood 09:03 to find out, to just become Malissa 09:06 and not have to rely on, 09:08 you know, you know my sister, you know my brother 09:10 or I think, you know my mom 09:11 stand on my own two feet, 09:13 you know, for my own self. 09:15 'Cause your sister went to Andrews 09:17 and your brother went to Andrews. 09:18 Because I went to Oakwood. 09:20 Nobody wanted to go to the same, 09:21 be at the same school 09:23 when the other person was there, 09:24 but everybody visited everyone. 09:27 But Oakwood was a, 09:29 honestly, when I first got down there being transparent, 09:32 I didn't go to church. 09:34 You didn't go to church? I did not go to church. 09:35 I thought it was mandated. You had to go to church. 09:38 You had to go to worship in the morning. 09:39 When you lived on campus, 09:41 there was a certain amount of worships 09:42 that you had to attend 09:43 for the week to get a weekend pass. 09:46 But I didn't, 09:47 I, they didn't check you at church, 09:49 but I didn't go to church only because I mean, 09:52 this is someone who's been going to church 09:53 18 years straight 09:54 and not just church, going up through the years, 09:57 I was a hostess for the welcome committee. 09:59 I also sang in the church choir. 10:02 I also was an usher for a little bit. 10:04 I dabbled in Pathfinders, found out it wasn't for me, 10:07 dabbled right back out. 10:08 Come on now. 10:10 I support the Pathfinders. 10:11 You didn't get to Oshkosh? No, I didn't make it. 10:13 You didn't make it? I didn't make. 10:14 It's never too late though. 10:16 It's too late. It's too late. 10:18 I'll set my support, 10:19 but I'm not a Pathfinder, but I did. 10:21 I stopped going to church just because honestly, 10:25 I didn't want to. 10:26 Didn't want to go to church? I didn't want to. 10:28 And then I kinda, 10:30 that's when I started having a personal conversation 10:33 about my faith with God, 10:34 because then I asked myself 10:36 because of course I felt some kind of way. 10:37 I'm used to going to church every week. 10:39 And once I didn't go, once I didn't go, I said, 10:42 you know, why aren't we going to church? 10:44 And then I asked myself, 10:45 well, is the only place 10:47 that I'm going to see Jesus on Sabbath is at church 10:49 or can I stay here and rest and still engage with him 10:52 and read my lesson 10:53 or read a chapter from the Bible. 10:55 Can I still do that? 10:56 So that was my first experience 10:59 with just veering off a little bit with spirituality, 11:02 but also allowing myself to be an adult 11:06 and asking myself, 11:07 where am I going with my faith? 11:09 What does God mean to me? 11:11 How do I embrace that? 11:12 How do I do that on a daily basis? 11:14 When your parents asked you where you going to church, 11:15 what did you say? 11:17 I go to worship to the... the worship in the morning. 11:21 During the week? During the week. 11:23 But that's almost like bribing a student. 11:25 If you go to worship so many times a week, 11:27 you get a weekend pass. 11:28 It is bribing a student. 11:30 You know, and if I don't go to worship, 11:32 I don't get a weekend pass. 11:33 It is bribing a student. 11:34 You know, or encouraging a student to go to worship, 11:38 to get the weekend pass, 11:39 you know, it's how you look at it. 11:41 There are several ways to you to look at it. 11:43 I think one growing up in my household, 11:46 my dad had devotion with us every morning. 11:48 He left before us, 11:50 but my dad would wake everyone up. 11:51 Everyone? 11:52 You can stay in your pajamas or whatever you want to do, 11:54 but we're having worship together as a family. 11:57 So them having worship wasn't a new thing for me. 12:00 So it wasn't a big deal. 12:01 But then some of my classmates, 12:03 they didn't have worship in the morning 12:05 with their families. 12:06 So waking up in the morning, 12:07 having worship was a new experience. 12:10 And, of course, it went both ways. 12:12 Some enjoyed it 12:13 and it became a new thing for them. 12:15 And they started having worship on their own every day, 12:17 rather they went to the worship service or not. 12:19 And then you have for others, it was a turnoff. 12:21 So I understand the purpose of it. 12:23 We do need to worship because it's college, 12:26 we can't start every class with, 12:28 all right, let's read a devotion. 12:29 Let's hear someone's testimony. 12:31 Let's get it. 12:32 You can't do that with every class, 12:34 but we still have to get it. 12:35 It is an Adventist School. 12:36 Did you have a prayer in every class at Oakwood? 12:39 It started, do you remember having prayer in the class? 12:41 I don't remember having prayer in every class, 12:42 but I remember having prayer in class. 12:44 Yes, I do too. 12:45 I remember having prayer. 12:47 I don't remember having prayer in every class, 12:48 but I do remember having prayer 12:50 and also, of course, worshiping in the dorm. 12:53 I was in Carter hall. Right, me too. 12:54 Yes, okay. And Wayne came after me. 12:57 So I'm dating myself, all right. 12:58 Okay. 13:00 But I have to say... You still look good. 13:02 Dating or not, you still look good. 13:03 I praise the Lord. You still look good. 13:05 I appreciate you. 13:06 Your father is my Sabbath school teacher. 13:08 Yes. 13:09 The best teacher ever, 13:11 really gives me a desire to study my lesson. 13:14 I sit on the second row where he teaches, you know, 13:17 if I'm sitting back too far 13:18 I'm gonna miss something, all right. 13:20 So I see that product of education, 13:24 the Christian walk, 13:26 because your mother is busy 13:27 and I'm Sabbath school superintendent. 13:30 I am one of the superintendent 13:31 and I have never been superintendent in my life 13:34 and she called me and says, 13:35 "Kim, I would like for you 13:36 to be superintendent the first Sabbath." 13:38 I said, "Not for, not through, 13:40 at the beginning of every month." 13:42 And then I asked her the other day, Malissa. 13:43 I said, "my term is over in December." 13:46 She said, "Oh no, this is a two year term." 13:49 She could get people to do things. 13:50 I'm telling you 13:52 that would never do anything in the church. 13:54 She has an amazing ministry. 13:57 So here is your mother 13:59 is superintendent of Sabbath, school. 14:00 Father's my Sabbath school teacher. 14:02 Your mother's choir director. 14:04 Your father sings in the choir. 14:06 Your father used to be the head deacon forever, 14:09 forever and forever. 14:10 Elder Dan. Elder Dan. 14:12 Oh, Dan Kendrick. 14:14 So now the torch has been passed 14:16 on to us to carry on. 14:18 And, but seeing those skills in you 14:22 and people were really excited at the program that we gave 14:26 and see so much energy in you, excitement, laughter. 14:31 People, is there anything wrong with us 14:33 having a good time in church? 14:35 No, but I don't think people, 14:39 people don't use the words good time in church 14:41 in the same sentence. 14:43 Like it's like, it's inappropriate. 14:44 We're supposed to have a good time in church. 14:45 Well, what is praise? 14:47 Praise? 14:49 He said, praise Me, praise Him. 14:50 He's worthy to be praised. 14:53 You know, the blessings go up, the praises go up, 14:55 the blessings come down. 14:56 So I believe in having a good time, 14:58 I believe that you should leave people 15:01 feeling better than they came. 15:03 Church is a hospital for healing. 15:06 All right. 15:07 So how do you find me time? 15:08 What do you do? Do you bowl, roller skate? 15:10 You know, do you snow ski? 15:13 I don't do any of those things. 15:15 Never been snow skiing, Malissa? 15:17 No, never, I'm afraid of heights. 15:18 So I'm not even getting on your shoulders. 15:22 I'm afraid of heights. 15:23 Things I do enjoy doing. 15:25 So I do freelance writing. 15:26 I actually do freelance writing for the Lake Union, Herald 15:29 and a couple of newspapers and magazines here in Michigan. 15:33 I also, my new favorite thing is trying different recipes. 15:36 You're cooking, Malissa? 15:37 I know. 15:39 So, explain for your viewers. 15:41 I didn't have to cook growing up. 15:42 My mom cooked. 15:44 She was, my mom did cook. 15:45 My dad was a very good cook. 15:47 He would cook his Caribbean food for us. 15:48 And then my sister 15:50 who's the second Martha Steward used to cook. 15:52 So growing up, 15:53 I didn't really have to learn to cook 15:55 until I got to 15:58 maybe my sophomore year in high school, 16:00 my sister had left. 16:02 So it was just my brother and I at home. 16:03 And I'll never forget this. He walked in my room. 16:05 He said, 16:07 so what are you cooking for dinner? 16:09 And it hit me like, okay, everybody's gone. 16:12 Now the torch is on to me. 16:14 I still didn't learn there. 16:15 But now I'm trying to. 16:16 He was serious. He wasn't going to eat. 16:18 He was serious. 16:19 And my cousin, Brian Stanford actually lived in the basement. 16:21 So I later found out that Brian sent Alex to pick on me, 16:27 they had to pick who was going to ask me. 16:28 So after that I cooked a little, 16:29 but then I went to college and you know. 16:31 Yes 'cause Alex was there by himself. 16:33 By himself. All right. 16:35 So in that, you know, did you learn how to cook? 16:38 Learned how to cook. All right. 16:40 And let's talk about transition. 16:42 Okay. 16:44 Coming back home and from college, 16:46 after being away for four years 16:48 and coming on for the summer vacation. 16:49 Right. 16:50 You know, was it difficult to, 16:52 you know, be back at home with all this, 16:53 I'm educated, I'm ready to educate others, 16:57 you know, was that a difficult transition? 17:01 Not from my point of view. 17:03 I think anytime students leave, 17:06 especially when you go away from college. 17:07 I think it's a little bit different 17:09 when you stay here 17:10 because you can see 17:11 your parents more, your friends more, 17:13 you know, I went to Alabama, 17:14 so that's over 10 hours away. 17:16 You know, that's not, 17:18 I'm going to come over after work. 17:20 So I think it was easier for me. 17:22 I think it was more difficult for my parents 17:25 because I was already living as an adult. 17:27 Every day, you know, I had my own routine. 17:29 This is what I'm doing. This is what I'm not doing. 17:31 And, you know, when I left my parents' house, 17:33 it was okay, you're going to do, 17:35 and now I came back is, no, I'm gonna do. 17:40 So, I think it was for them to kind of take a step back 17:45 and observe how I have grown so far 17:48 and recognize the ways 17:50 that I'm trying to grow 17:51 to counter help me with that as well. 17:53 So I think that was the most, the most difficult transition. 17:58 You always enjoy reading, studying, 18:00 getting your work done. 18:01 You know, college was not difficult for you? 18:04 No, it was good. 18:05 I like learning though. 18:07 Learning your masters. 18:09 And what is your master's in? 18:10 It's in journalism from Wayne State University. 18:12 And now you just received your certification. 18:16 Yes, So I am in the process of completing my certification 18:20 at Schoolcraft College, in Livonia. 18:21 Yes. And that certification will allow you to do what? 18:24 Teach anywhere in Michigan. 18:26 I'm a certified. 18:27 K through 12? 18:28 I'm secondary. 18:30 So mine is 8th through 12th grade. 18:31 Secondary now is considered an 8th grade? 18:33 Eighth grade I know. 18:34 Eighth is junior high. I know. 18:36 You know, it's like, we look forward 18:38 to making that transition. 18:39 I'm in the ninth grade, 18:41 but now it's 8th through 12th? 18:42 Eighth through 12. 18:44 And you know, now they're trying to make it 18:46 just a little bit of a smoother transition 18:48 because you know, in 8th grade 18:50 you mean you have little kids, little, little kids 18:52 to get K through 8th. 18:53 So they're trying to now move some of, 18:56 not at my school, but just in general, 18:58 I had the 8th graders come to the high school 19:00 a little bit early. 19:01 So they would still be in the building 19:03 maybe in a different wing 19:05 so that it's not so new to them 19:06 because that could be completely overwhelming. 19:09 Yes, that's traumatizing. 19:10 Very traumatizing. It can be. 19:12 New teachers, new schedule, new personality. 19:17 And then if you have to be busting or transport, 19:20 because a lot of schools have closed in Inkster, 19:24 and they may have to come to the E-Core school. 19:27 Your favorite Bible scripture? 19:30 "For I know the plans I have for you, 19:31 saith the Lord." 19:32 That's my, that's my go-to. 19:34 Jeremiah 29:11. 19:36 Every time, every time, 19:37 That's amazing, 19:39 that your end will be of good and not evil. 19:42 He knows your plans. 19:44 He knows your plans. 19:46 I've been talking about my scriptures 19:49 throughout my entire life 19:51 and everywhere I go. 19:53 And even in my counseling practice, 19:56 that trusting God, having faith, 19:59 but verse 6 says, 20:00 "But without faith, it is impossible to please Him. 20:04 And he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him." 20:07 Hebrew 11:6. 20:09 How important is your faith in your life? 20:11 My faith is very important. 20:13 My faith is one of the things 20:15 I'm actually working on right now 20:17 because I have faith, 20:19 but I don't let that faith take place. 20:22 Like I say, okay, God, I'll let you take care of it. 20:25 And then I'm moving on to see how I can fix it. 20:27 If I said, I'm going to have faith, 20:28 that means I'm not going to... 20:30 Take your hands off of it. I'm not going to try to fix it. 20:31 I'm not even gonna think about how trying to fix it. 20:35 So that's, that's the thing that I've been, 20:37 I've been working on to increase my faith 20:39 because I do have faith, 20:41 but I want my faith to be stronger. 20:43 I know people who have, I mean, big, big time, faith. 20:47 I want that. I want that big time faith. 20:48 You want to experience that? But I'm not there yet. 20:50 So I have to do my, my crawling up there. 20:53 Yes, take those steps. Take those steps. 20:55 Yeah. Definitely. 20:56 It is important that in today's society that 21:00 we have peer pressure, you still have peer pressure? 21:03 Social media, the music, 21:06 things trying, the enemy is trying 21:08 to pull us away from the church. 21:10 And so I really applaud you 21:12 for being our communication director. 21:15 I applaud you for being a young woman of God, 21:18 your relationship. 21:20 You're just a six, 21:21 you know, again no one can get in that group. 21:23 It's no. Nothing. 21:25 No. Nothing can get in. 21:26 Never. 21:27 You know, I'm on a prayer line every morning. 21:29 And I got to come up with a name 21:31 and you know, your mother is on that prayer line. 21:34 I know she's on that prayer line. 21:36 Yes. 21:37 And we're up every morning, 6:30 AM. 21:40 That prayer line is moving mountains. 21:41 Did you guys know that? Oh yes. 21:43 I know you passed. We prayed so hard for you. 21:46 I know you did. 21:48 And you passed that test. I passed that test. 21:50 Seventy percent of the people 21:52 that take that test the first time, fail it. 21:55 And you passed it? And I passed it. 21:56 Prayer changes things. 21:58 And even when your mom was gone to Oshkosh, 22:01 she was on the line and there were hour behind us. 22:04 Oh, wow. 22:05 And she says, I'm here, I'm here. 22:07 So what happened was 22:08 when I, you know, went through losing Uncle Arthur, 22:11 I called them and asked them, 22:14 you know, come over and pray with me. 22:16 And they did. 22:17 Then when I got the breast cancer, 22:19 pastor Duncombe said, 22:21 you need to get a prayer group together. 22:22 I said, I have a prayer group, 22:24 but we're not active right now. 22:25 'Cause you know, as you go through things, 22:27 you kinda, you know, it's done. 22:29 I'm good now. 22:31 But when I had the breast cancer, 22:34 I called your mother 22:35 and four other women, 22:37 you know, three other women and myself 22:39 and they said, yes, and the best time was 6:30 AM. 22:42 I said, was that PM or AM? 22:45 AM. 22:47 And we are faithfully. 22:48 But even when this was dealt with my breast cancer, 22:52 we made a decision to stay on the prayer line 22:55 to keep praying for you, Regina, Micah, Aaron, 23:00 I cried so many nights about Aaron 23:03 and your mom would call me, it's going to be all right. 23:06 You know, or when your mom was going through something, 23:08 I would call, it's going to be all right, you know? 23:12 Your cousin, you just lost a cousin in Canada, 23:16 you know, how old was your cousin? 23:19 He, my uncle. 23:20 Okay. 23:22 My uncle, he is the oldest so in his 70s. 23:26 That's your mother, that's your father's brother. 23:27 My father's brother. 23:29 But then you have a cousin, a young lady in Canada 23:30 that passed too? 23:32 Yes, That was my cousin, 23:33 my father's other brother, his daughter. 23:35 His daughter. 23:36 So you, and then your aunt passed away. 23:38 You had a lot of death in your family, 23:42 but God is still good. 23:44 And He's still with you. 23:46 I think about too, that your laughter, 23:50 your laughter brings healing to the soul. 23:53 We could be at the kitchen table 23:55 and you just laugh, 23:56 you know, where do you get that laugh from? 23:58 Who does it come from? Me. 24:00 That's your laughter. 24:02 I don't, I want to wake up and have a good day. 24:05 And the only way that I can ensure that is 24:08 making sure I do what needs to be done for me 24:11 to make sure that I have a good day. 24:12 And that goes back to the teaching aspect too, 24:15 in college or in high school, your students feed off that. 24:19 If I'm having a bad day, 24:20 whereas a class having a bad day 24:22 and nobody can learn at what happened that day. 24:25 And also I learned to, even if I'm not in a good mood 24:28 and I laugh, it'll put me in a good mood. 24:30 And I'm always happier 24:33 when I'm in a good mood 24:34 and I can, and it brings me joy to bring other people happy. 24:37 So if I can make you laugh. 24:38 Now I'm really laughing. 24:39 Now we can laugh together? 24:41 You do that, I'm telling you, listen to me, viewers, 24:43 there is no one 24:45 who can make you just go from a low area in your life 24:50 to a high level. 24:51 And when I was even going through my own trauma 24:55 in my own life, 24:56 but if I saw Malissa, 24:58 I knew, and do you know, this was my first time 25:01 coming to your home for one of the holidays. 25:03 Right. 25:04 And I said, I'm just going to stop by 25:06 and say thank you for the invite. 25:08 I think I stayed three hours and I sat right next to you. 25:12 And we had a blast 25:14 and Micah said, mommy, I'm so glad you went 25:16 because I couldn't come before 25:18 because it was too hard 25:20 too 'cause we will always be there together. 25:22 And the memories, 25:23 and then everybody is coupled off 25:25 or everybody's family. 25:27 I'm the only one here. 25:28 I have my cousin, Karen, 25:30 but I'm, I've gone from having a huge family in the church, 25:35 you know, to just me now. 25:37 But my church family is my family 25:40 and you know, and they put their arms around me. 25:43 So I praise God for you, your family, 25:47 who you are and where you are, 25:49 you know, just a six, you all pray together? 25:53 Yes. 25:55 Actually we pray together, we fast together. 25:57 When your daughter Micah had breast cancer, 25:59 we decided to fast every Wednesday. 26:02 I think that was a... 26:03 I think that was the day she had chemo 26:04 where she couldn't. 26:06 So we decided to fast with her, every Wednesday we would fast. 26:10 But we also, 26:11 well, Ashley would be our... 26:13 She were to live there. 26:15 So everybody has names. 26:18 We're supposed to have names. 26:19 Or names of the Bible? 26:20 No, just names like 26:22 what your job is with the group. 26:23 So Ashley's like our spiritual leader. 26:25 Okay. 26:26 So she would be the one. 26:28 And I could say we can't go to the others, 26:29 but you know, if I'm dealing with something spiritually 26:32 or if I'm reading the Sabbath school question 26:34 and I want to talk about it with someone, 26:37 obviously besides my parents in the Sabbath School class, 26:39 then I would talk to Ashley. 26:41 So we're very, we're very connected 26:43 on every level. 26:46 On every level of the relationship. 26:49 I mean, even the bad parts, 26:51 the stuff you do, the things you don't need, 26:52 you don't want to hear, you're still going to hear it. 26:55 Now you may not hear it from the other five of us, 26:57 but we all took a vote 26:58 that this is going to be the one person 27:00 that's going to tell you the things 27:01 that you need to hear. 27:03 I can really appreciate it 27:04 because friendship, 27:05 your friendship, your relationship 27:07 is long lasting 27:09 in the relationships that I have. 27:11 We have a minute and four seconds. 27:13 Give me some words of encouragement 27:16 to say to families, 27:18 don't give up on your children? 27:20 Everybody has a journey. 27:22 Everybody has a journey. 27:23 Your journey may be different from mine. 27:25 If we were mother and daughter, 27:26 I don't have to say have the same journey 27:27 as you as you're my mother. 27:29 So respect everybody's individual journey. 27:31 I would be, that would be the first thing. 27:32 That would be the first thing. 27:33 Second thing I would say, pray, always pray, 27:35 never stop praying. 27:36 You never know what signals people, 27:38 I mean that Jesus is giving to people 27:40 and how they're interpreting those things, those signals. 27:43 And then the third thing I would say is 27:45 you're still here because Jesus wants you here. 27:47 If He didn't want you here, you will be six feet under. 27:49 Yes. The end. 27:51 The end. You're something else. 27:53 Well, I'm going to say, the end. 27:55 I want to thank you, Malissa, for coming today. 27:58 Continue to educate the uneducated 28:01 and making sure that you continue to thrive 28:04 for greatness in your life. 28:05 I thank God for the opportunity to be here. 28:07 Continue to live to be well. 28:09 I'm Dr. Kim, God bless. |
Revised 2021-08-30