Participants:
Series Code: LTBW
Program Code: LTBW190045S
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00:01 The following program features
00:02 real clients discussing sensitive issues. 00:05 The views and opinions expressed in this program 00:07 don't necessarily reflect 00:09 that of 3ABN's Dare to Dream Network. 00:11 Viewer discretion is advised. 00:49 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin, and welcome to Live To Be Well. 00:54 Reaching new heights, that is my desire every day 00:58 to reach new heights in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 01:02 What is live to be well? 01:03 Mind, body, and soul. 01:04 And today, I am blessed to have Dr. Portia Lockett. 01:10 God bless you, Dr. Portia, how are you? 01:12 I am amazing. 01:13 You look amazing. Thank you, and you as well. 01:16 Thank you so much. 01:17 You know, we have connected as sisters in Christ 01:21 in our work, 01:22 and you referred 01:23 so many amazing clients and patients to me 01:26 and I will be forever grateful. 01:28 Oh, you're welcome. 01:29 Well, let's talk about the... Who is Dr. Portia 01:32 and the challenges that you face 01:34 because this awesome woman is a chaplain. 01:37 And so we wanna talk about that. 01:39 So share that with us? 01:40 Okay, well, I am a chaplain and spiritual advisor to many. 01:44 And so in my chaplain role, I meet the needs of individuals 01:48 who are spiritually hurting, emotionally hurting, 01:52 as well as mentally hurting. 01:53 And so I meet them right where they are 01:55 and escort them where the God wants them to be. 01:57 Are these also employees also? 01:59 Some of them are employees, some of them are patients, 02:02 and some of them are family members of the patients. 02:04 And just sometimes it's just people in the grocery store. 02:07 I can be anywhere. 02:08 And so, but mainly, you know, in the hospital setting, 02:10 you know, people will be referred to me, 02:12 you know, when they come in because a lot of times 02:13 when people find out that they're sick 02:15 or there's something going on, 02:17 that they're not really sure of, 02:18 they want to reach out to a higher being. 02:21 You know, regardless of what their religion may be. 02:24 And so as a chaplain, 02:25 I have to meet them where they are 02:27 from an interfaith perspective 02:29 and just supporting them on their healing journey. 02:32 So how many patients do you see a day 02:34 if say, for example, you have four or five people. 02:37 You have how many people on your team? 02:39 Are there other chaplains on your team? 02:41 Yes, they are. 02:42 And so you could be anywhere in the hospital 02:45 and it could be someone, a family just lost a loved one. 02:48 Absolutely. 02:49 And you're called, tell us about that? 02:50 So a lot of times we'll get paged 02:52 or sometimes we'll get a consult, 02:53 or sometimes I could just be rounding on the floors 02:55 and someone will walk up to me and say, 02:57 you know, you may wanna stop in on the patient, 02:59 you know, in five ICU, 03:01 someone is in need of your services. 03:02 Or there's a family that's over there, 03:04 they just receive some bad news. 03:05 And so again, I'll just go and meet them 03:07 right where they are 03:08 and introduce myself. 03:10 And typically, you know, you will walk up and say, 03:12 you know, I'm the chaplain and I'm just stopping by, 03:14 you know, just to support you. 03:15 But, you know, I try to bring life 03:18 into every situation. 03:19 So I'll walk in and just says, 03:21 hi, I'm your chaplain, Portia Lockett. 03:22 And I just stopped by 03:24 to drop off a bucket full of blessings 03:25 and an extra dose of love. 03:26 So, you know, and I'm here to support you on your journey. 03:28 How can I be here to support you? 03:29 And that kinda brings a softness to it 03:32 and allows them to be able to open up 03:34 and explain to me, or share with me 03:36 whatever their challenges may be 03:37 at that particular time. 03:38 'Cause they could be on the defense 03:40 because they don't know who you are. 03:41 Absolutely. 03:42 And so therefore they're kind of, you know, 03:44 reserved about sharing information. 03:46 Have you ever met a family in the beginning stages 03:50 and they were in the hospital brought in, 03:53 but then you had to go in again after they passed? 03:55 Oh, absolutely. 03:57 And so a lot of times in the palliative care doctors 03:59 will call me and say, you know, we need your support. 04:02 We're gonna go in and talk with this family, 04:04 you know, because the hours are numbered 04:06 or the days are numbered 04:08 and we would love for you to be able to be a support 04:10 or the patient could have just transitioned 04:12 and the family doesn't know about it yet. 04:14 And so they want me to go in and talk with the family 04:16 about what happened. 04:18 It's like, as you know, mom or dad 04:19 or sister or brother, your wife came in 04:21 with these symptoms 04:23 and we discovered this was going on 04:25 and this was going on. 04:26 And now, you know, we treated this 04:28 and we treated that, 04:29 but unfortunately we did everything 04:31 that we could possibly do. 04:32 And unfortunately mom did not make it. 04:35 And so, I'm there just to support 04:36 and sometimes people go into complete shock. 04:38 Some people go into outrage 04:40 because you know, they're angry, you know? 04:42 And so I'm just there to meet them where they are 04:44 and just to give them some support. 04:46 And so every situation is different. 04:48 Yes. 04:49 What about when you have children? 04:52 You know, is it different? Is it harder for you? 04:55 Oh, absolutely. 04:56 You know, I've been there, you know, 04:58 with families expecting their first child 05:00 and you know, you make it to that ninth month 05:03 and then something just happens 05:05 and then the baby is still born or the baby is born 05:08 and then three days later something happens 05:10 and the baby did not make it. 05:11 It's like, so how do you explain that 05:14 to a mother or a father? 05:16 It's just like, you know, I don't wanna talk about it, 05:18 I don't wanna talk about God. 05:20 I don't want to hear it. 05:21 You know, it's like, you know, not now, 05:23 just come back later, you know, 05:25 and then I'll peep back in, you know, from time to time. 05:27 And just, I'm just here to support, 05:28 you know, you don't have a talk about that. 05:30 I just want you to know that I'm here to support you. 05:31 So however you feel it's okay. 05:34 Nobody can dictate 05:35 how you should be feeling right now, 05:37 how you should grieve, 05:38 how long you should be grieving, 05:39 when you should be grieving, you know? 05:41 So, and it's different for, 05:42 you know, for moms and for dads, 05:44 it's all depending on the relationship 05:46 will determined how that person is going to grieve. 05:48 Go back to palliative care. 05:50 I remember hearing that term 05:52 before Arthur went into hospice. 05:54 Yes. 05:55 So let's talk about palliative care 05:57 and then hospice? 05:58 Sure. 05:59 So palliative care can be for any type of chronic disease. 06:01 It doesn't necessarily mean that that person 06:04 is in the process of transitioning, 06:05 but they just wanna make sure 06:07 that there is comfort care that that patient is comfortable. 06:10 Because a lot of times when patients are, 06:12 let's just say experiencing, you know, a cancer, 06:15 you know, there's over 300 different types of cancers. 06:17 And so when it attacks your body, 06:19 you know, it can make you feel a certain kind of way. 06:21 And so with that being said, 06:23 you know, depending on the medication, 06:24 depending on what the diagnosis, 06:26 the prognosis may be, 06:27 will determine how that person 06:29 is going to be feeling physically. 06:30 So we wanna make sure that that person is cared for 06:34 and comfortable at all times, 06:36 no matter what the diagnosis may be. 06:38 And in terms of hospice, you know, normally they'll say, 06:41 you know, when you go into hospice, 06:42 we've done everything that we can possibly do, 06:44 but unfortunately your organs, 06:46 you know, are beginning to shut down, 06:48 and physically, 06:50 you know, through tests, you know, the doctors, 06:52 you know, they can pretty much tell 06:53 when things are getting ready to go 06:55 on a downward spiral. 06:56 And sometimes hospice could last for a year. 06:58 You know, I know people who have been told, 07:00 you know, we need to put your mother, 07:01 we need to put your father in hospice. 07:03 And those people are still living, 07:04 it's two years later, it's like, okay, 07:05 what happens like only God knows. 07:07 Only the Lord knows. 07:08 Yes, I remember when we went into hospice 07:12 it was one day 07:13 because Arthur's request was to go home 07:16 and they kept saying, he's not gonna live 24 hours. 07:19 He lived eight days. 07:21 And, but he wanted to be home. 07:23 He wanted to be in his surroundings, 07:25 he was still talking. 07:26 They said, "Let him eat whatever he wanted to eat." 07:29 And he just was comfortable, 07:33 but I do remember the chaplain 07:35 coming to the room and praying with me 07:39 and encouraging me to come 07:41 to groups of workshops. 07:45 Yes, talk about that for the families? 07:47 Sure. 07:48 So, you know, we have sessions 07:50 that are set up on a regular basis. 07:51 And sometimes we even if we don't have them 07:53 right there in their area, 07:54 I will refer them out to other organizations 07:56 that provide grief support. 07:58 And so depending on what type of grief 07:59 or depending on the relationship. 08:01 So for example, you may have a family, 08:05 you know, who needs the whole family being there. 08:07 You may not want to put them 08:08 in a group setting with other individuals 08:10 because they need their own. 08:12 And so, sometimes it's just a mother 08:14 who was just having a really, really hard time. 08:15 And so I may have to refer her out or one of our chaplains 08:18 will make a commitment to say, 08:19 you know, over the next four weeks, 08:21 we're gonna sit down with you on a regular basis. 08:23 What about follow-up? 08:24 I know I received calls for a few months. 08:26 Absolutely. 08:28 And do you do that follow-up with the families? 08:29 Absolutely. 08:31 I have some families that, you know, 08:32 still keep in contact with me 08:33 when they're at the hospital 08:35 or, you know, sometimes in the area 08:36 they'll reach out to me 08:38 or some of them we've developed long-term relationships. 08:39 And we, you know, 08:41 we keep in contact with each other 08:42 on a regular basis. 08:43 There was one patient 08:45 that I had had, I think I met her in 2010 08:49 and she lived for about four years 08:51 after the doctors kept saying, there's nothing else, 08:54 nothing else, there's nothing else. 08:55 And I remember her saying, 08:57 you know, when it's my time to transition 08:59 and they say, there's nothing else 09:00 that they can do for me. 09:02 And they go in hospice, I want you to come, 09:04 and I want you to be at my home, 09:05 and I want you to sing to me until I transition. 09:09 And so that was a beautiful thing. 09:10 So I drove about an hour and a half 09:12 up to Metamora, Michigan. 09:13 And I was there with her family. 09:15 Her husband was in the kitchen cooking 09:17 and it was a Polish family and the family was there. 09:20 The dog was just laid out and we were just singing. 09:23 And, you know, I held her hand and the daughter 09:26 I think was there and, you know, given her medication 09:28 again to keep her comfortable 09:30 so that she would not be experiencing any pain. 09:32 And she transitioned 09:33 and I still keep in contact 09:35 with that family. 09:36 In the family. Absolutely. 09:37 When we talk about transitioning 09:39 or patient pass away, talk about that? 09:42 Specifically when I say transitioning or transition, 09:46 that means that person's in the process of transitioning 09:49 and the doctors can know, 09:50 you know, they can detect by various tests, 09:52 you know of what's going on with that patient 09:55 at that particular time, their vitals, I should say. 09:57 And then when we say transition, 09:59 that mean that patient has passed away. 10:02 Yes. 10:04 We know in the Seventh-day Adventist message 10:06 and in the Word of God, 10:07 the state of the dead, 10:08 when one passes away, the dead know nothing. 10:12 And we know that the Bible says 10:15 when the trumpet shall sound 10:16 and the dead in Christ shall rise first, 10:18 and those that remain 10:19 will be caught up to meet Him. 10:21 So we have that blessed hope to know, 10:24 as I did with my husband passing away 10:27 that he fell asleep. 10:28 And that is our desire, and that is our prayer 10:30 that our loved ones pass away 10:33 and fall asleep and rest in Jesus 10:36 and that their election is made sure. 10:38 So let's be clear 10:40 when we talk about transitioning, 10:41 that is not a state of just in the air somewhere, 10:46 they are asleep, they are in the grave. 10:50 They are exactly what the Word of God states. 10:53 And so a lot of times 10:54 people talk about that they can, 10:56 I can talk to my mother, I can talk to my father, 10:59 my mother and father looking out for me, 11:01 God is looking out for you. 11:03 The Bible is very clear that the dead know nothing 11:07 and that they are sleeping in the grave. 11:11 So, you know, and it's hard sometimes 11:13 to accept that because we wanna, 11:15 you know, think that, 11:17 you know, Arthur is looking at, no, no. 11:19 A friend of mine said that to me. 11:20 And I said, "No." 11:22 "Well, yes, he is." I said, "No." 11:23 And I took her right to the Word, 11:25 she says, I never saw that. 11:26 You know, so, it's important that 11:29 we as spiritual leaders in the care for people 11:32 that we understand 11:34 what God is ministering through us. 11:36 Let's talk about self-care. 11:38 You know, your work is demanding, 11:41 my work is demanding. 11:42 How do we get that self-care in there, 11:45 exercise, rest? 11:46 Absolutely. All right. 11:48 Shame on me, Dr. Portia, 11:49 I didn't get to bed at about 1:00 AM, 11:52 you know, doing more sessions and crisis arise. 11:56 How do we say no? It's so hard, help me? 12:00 How do we say no? Well, you know what? 12:02 We have to know our limits. 12:03 Some of us require five hours of sleep. 12:06 Some of us require six or seven or eight hours of sleep. 12:08 You know your body, you know your temple. 12:10 Okay? 12:11 And it's up to you to take care of that temple 12:13 because nobody else is gonna do it, 12:15 because the last thing you want 12:16 is to be in a situation where somebody else 12:18 is making decisions for you. 12:20 And I don't want that because the Bible says 12:22 that the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, 12:25 and we have to take care of this temple. 12:27 So I had to stop close up my paperwork. 12:30 I was doing phone sessions, Skype sessions. 12:32 I said no more, but I try to accommodate everyone, 12:35 but boundaries, setting boundaries. 12:37 Absolutely, that's very important. 12:38 And so you got, again, 12:40 you have to learn how to say no. 12:41 And unfortunately I'm not able to help you at this time, 12:43 but let me give you a timeframe that I'm able to help you, 12:45 because sometimes they wanna text you, 12:47 they wanna call you. 12:48 I need you now. 12:50 He says, you know what? 12:51 I would really like to be able to help you now, 12:52 but unfortunately my schedule for today 12:54 and for the next week is filled. 12:55 So we can either set up appointment to talk, 12:57 you know, in the next week, 12:58 I'm gonna refer you to someone else 12:59 that might be able to help you more immediately than I can. 13:02 And I'm going to also pray that you get the help 13:05 that you need at this particular time. 13:06 And so learning how to say no and learning how to refer, 13:09 you know, there's enough business out there 13:10 for everybody. 13:12 So it's not like we have to hoard and just think that, 13:14 you know, if I don't get this patient, 13:15 I don't get this business and I'll get this, 13:17 you know, this deal is everything's gonna fade away. 13:20 Just let go. 13:21 And just be at peace 13:23 with knowing it's okay to say no. 13:25 And it's okay to just to walk away 13:27 because all money is not good money 13:28 because sometimes people will approach you and just say, 13:30 I got this great deal. 13:31 We're gonna make a whole lot of money. 13:33 It's like, for me, it's not about that. 13:34 It's about doing what my purpose 13:36 is and operating in passion and in love, you know? 13:39 And so it takes a lot for me to, 13:41 you know, I usually start off my morning 13:43 before I even get out of the bed, 13:44 just saying, thank you. 13:46 Thank you, Lord. 13:47 And in that grateful state of mind, 13:48 just saying, thank you. 13:50 And then once I get up, 13:51 you know, I drink a lot of water. 13:52 I make sure that I'm hydrated throughout the day, 13:54 because I would say, 13:55 there's a great percentage of individuals 13:57 who come into hospitals or go into urgent cares 13:59 and something's wrong, 14:01 and it's because they're dehydrated. 14:03 We don't take the time out to drink enough water. 14:06 Yes, that happened to me. Yeah. 14:07 Not to interrupt you. No, it's okay. 14:09 I was just running, running, running, and running. 14:11 But what it was, I was dehydrated, 14:14 but I had walking pneumonia. 14:16 So what happened when I got home, 14:18 my oldest daughter was home visiting. 14:20 No, she was on the phone. 14:22 And I was like... 14:24 She said, "Mommy, that's not a regular cough." 14:26 I said, "I'm fine." Aaron was home. 14:29 And I said, "I'll be fine, just need some rest." 14:31 The next morning, 14:33 I could barely crawl out of bed. 14:34 I said, "Aaron, Aaron,"' 14:37 cause my lung was collapsing. 14:39 And I said, 14:41 "You have to drive me to the hospital now." 14:43 They said, "If I had waited one more hour," 14:46 it would have been over. 14:47 And we just, you know, 14:49 I'm drinking more water, exercising. 14:51 Absolutely. Let's talk about stress. 14:54 Your life is busy. My life is busy. 14:56 Setting boundaries, limitations. 14:58 Absolutely. 14:59 What does stress do to us as human beings 15:02 and how it leads to anxiety, depression, suicide? 15:05 Sure. 15:07 So, stress pretty much 15:08 is one of the number one causes 15:10 of any type of disease. 15:14 Because we don't, as you said, we don't set boundaries. 15:17 We don't know how to say no. 15:18 And we need to make sure that we're taking care of self. 15:21 Just like when you get on an airplane, 15:23 they always tell you to put your mask on first. 15:25 So if you're not taking care of yourself, 15:28 spiritually, mentally, emotionally, 15:31 physically, and financially, guess what? 15:34 You're gonna be stressed out 15:35 because if one of those components 15:37 are disconnected to the others, 15:40 it's gonna cause stress in some form of fashion. 15:42 Yes. 15:43 You know, if you're worried about something, 15:44 it's gonna impact everything else. 15:46 If your finances are off, 15:47 it's going to impact everything else. 15:49 If your mental wellbeing or your emotional wellbeing 15:51 and you're all over the place, 15:52 you're on a high one day and a low another day. 15:55 And then you have other people, 15:56 you know, who are in your lives, 15:57 you know, who are trying 15:59 to bring all their issues to you. 16:00 And if they're not paying you for what you do, 16:04 then that's the issue. 16:05 Because sometimes people will know, 16:07 oh, she's a good listener. 16:08 She's always given good advice, but I'm looking up 16:10 and I'm spending two or three hours with this person 16:12 two or three times a week. 16:13 And I'm just like, wait a minute. 16:15 Something's wrong with this picture? 16:16 And so we have to push back a little bit, 16:17 learn how to say no 16:19 and not cause 16:20 any self-inflicted stress upon ourselves. 16:23 I remember when, 16:25 again, going back to palliative care. 16:27 Yes. 16:28 I had to literally stop my practice 16:30 because Arthur, I had to be there. 16:33 I slept at the hospital. 16:34 One time I slept at one hospital. 16:37 The first time, eight days, 16:40 the next hospital, it was 12 days. 16:42 I said, "Can I go home?" 16:45 And he was like, "Go get your clothes." 16:47 And then one of his relatives came, stayed. 16:50 I showered, went back and he said, 16:52 "Did you bring everything you need?" 16:54 And let me tell you what I did. 16:57 One day he was feeling pretty good. 16:58 And someone came to sit with him 17:01 and the phone rang 17:04 and it was one of my patients and was in terrible crisis. 17:08 I said, I can't come to my office 17:10 and shame on me 17:12 because again, being in the will of God, 17:15 you know, I had her come to the hospital 17:19 to do her session. 17:21 And I said, "No more. I have to focus in on Arthur." 17:26 That's right. 17:27 "I have to focus in on my self-care." 17:29 And do you know, even sitting there 17:31 reading to him, talking with him, 17:33 watching him sleep, 17:35 making sure he was good, wiping his face 17:38 and washing his face. 17:40 But who was taking care of you? 17:41 That's the whole point. Who was taking care of you? 17:43 So even in those situations, 17:45 you know, I'll use an example of a mother 17:48 and I would tell people, you know what? 17:49 If one mother can give birth to 10 children, 17:52 surely 10 children can help 17:54 and rotate and taking care of that one mother. 17:57 And sometimes we want to be there for everything. 18:00 And we have to remember, 18:03 I have to get a good night's sleep. 18:05 And just lying in one of those recliner chairs 18:07 for days in and days out are not good for you. 18:10 It's not good for your back 18:12 because now your back is hurting. 18:13 And when you're in pain, you project differently, 18:16 you act differently, you think differently 18:18 because you're thinking about that one little pain 18:20 while you're trying to be focused. 18:22 And it's just very hard to do both. 18:23 And as he felt better, all my church family, 18:27 The City Temple Seventh-day Adventist Church, 18:29 my pastor, people would come, 18:31 Kim, go eat, take a moment, 18:33 go home, take a few hours. 18:35 That's who took care of me? 18:37 My church family, because my daughters were away. 18:39 And so when my daughters came home 18:43 and they said, "Mom, go home and get some rest." 18:46 And even when we brought him home, 18:49 they had the hospital bed and everything, 18:51 in one of the rooms 18:52 and we have a huge chair and Arthur was determined. 18:56 He loved that chair. 18:57 He wanted to sit up in that chair. 18:59 He said, "Just one more time." 19:01 That day was Saturday, the Sabbath. 19:04 I went to church, 19:05 his nieces were there at the home 19:08 and he was sitting up and he said to me, 19:11 "Why? Why, Kim?" 19:13 And I said, 19:14 "I can't tell you why Arthur, 19:16 but I know God has a plan. 19:18 He is in control." 19:19 And he sat there 19:21 and I went into the family room 19:23 and I sat there not knowing a few hours 19:24 he would pass away early that morning. 19:27 And I went back in and I said, "Do you want to lay back down?" 19:31 He said, "No, I just want to sit here." 19:32 I mean, talking and just looking out the window. 19:36 And I said that it's gonna be all right, Arthur. 19:39 So he had a burst of energy? 19:41 He had that burst as they talk about in hospice. 19:43 My mother had that, my father had that, 19:46 but seeing him, but my daughters came in, 19:49 "Mommy, rest." 19:50 But it was like, he would look and he would call for me. 19:54 And the girl said, "Mommy, daddy wants you." 19:57 And I said, "I'm right here. I'm right here." 19:59 And I think, you know what I told God? 20:00 I said, 20:02 "God, if you are going to do this 20:04 and you're going to take my husband, 20:06 because this is in Your hands, 20:08 I said, You are God's Supreme. 20:09 I'm asking you one thing, 20:12 could you please let me be with him, 20:13 not at the grocery store, not out running an errand, 20:16 not out getting something out of the car, 20:19 not in the bathroom. 20:20 Let me be with him." 20:22 And the Lord said, "I'm gonna do that for you." 20:25 I felt it. 20:26 And all of us was around him. 20:28 Micah was on FaceTime 20:30 and we were all there with him, 20:33 his children, his godson. 20:35 I was there holding his hand and I said, "Sleep." 20:38 And he said, 20:40 "Now, do you remember what I told you?" 20:41 And I said, "What?" 20:43 He said, "Don't mess up. I'll see you when Jesus come." 20:46 And he said, 20:48 "You are not allowed to date or remarry." 20:50 And everyone started laughing. 20:51 He was still in that good state. 20:54 And then I looked at him. 20:55 I said, "Arthur, just sleep now, just sleep." 20:59 And I kissed him. 21:00 And while I was kissing him 21:05 and my baby, Aaron, 21:07 she just said, "Daddy, daddy." 21:10 And I said, "Daddy's gone." 21:12 So they took care of me. 21:15 And I recognized that 21:17 I had to take a moment and step back. 21:19 And even during the whole process, 21:22 after he passed, there's so much involved. 21:25 You're just moving so quickly. Absolutely. 21:28 And you don't even have a time to... 21:29 I did grieving. 21:31 No, because you're taking care of all the, 21:34 the whole process, 21:35 all the application of the services, 21:39 making sure this is done right, that is done right. 21:42 But I still had a support system. 21:44 I wasn't even gonna try, you know what I did? 21:47 I hired an event coordinator, Joanne Fuller, 21:50 one of my sisters of my church. 21:52 She does events. 21:53 And I said, "I need you 21:54 to handle the entire funeral service, 21:57 the entire repass, be in everything, 22:00 pick up the programs. 22:02 I knew to step back and focus on my children and I. 22:06 Because I felt the stress, I felt the anxiety 22:10 and I felt the depression 22:12 because that first day him not being there. 22:16 And so I was able to say, I know now how to step back. 22:21 I know now through this, how to say no. 22:24 Let's talk about time management. 22:27 People need to understand 22:29 how to use their time management 22:31 and understand the importance 22:33 because you see it in the hospital. 22:34 Absolutely. 22:35 Let's talk about that? 22:37 So, I do believe that you have to have a schedule, 22:39 you know, and again, setting boundaries 22:42 comes with that whole piece of managing your time. 22:46 There's only 24 hours in a day. 22:47 You have to sleep, you have to eat. 22:50 And so sometimes, you know, 22:51 you have to put those things in your calendars, 22:53 it's time to eat, it's time to take my medication 22:55 depending on what your lifestyle is. 22:57 And so it's really important to say, 22:59 I'm only gonna see a certain amount of patients today. 23:01 I'm only gonna see, 23:03 do a certain amount of activities 23:05 because sometimes you'll get invites in your inbox. 23:07 You know, you look up and you're invited to say, 23:08 you have three events that you are supposed to attend today 23:10 or six events that you're supposed 23:12 to support tomorrow. 23:13 It's like, wait a minute. 23:14 Did I commit to all this? 23:16 Yes. 23:17 And so, managing your time 23:18 and not letting time manage you. 23:21 Can you say that again? 23:22 Absolutely. 23:24 Learning to manage your time 23:25 and not allowing time to manage you. 23:27 I love it. Love it. 23:28 Absolutely. 23:30 So, in every situation, you know, 23:31 this, this can be, you know, regarding time management, 23:33 stress, whatever. 23:35 I have a saying, 23:36 "Is this going to mess me up or bless me?" 23:40 Real simple. Real simple. 23:42 What I'm putting into my temple, 23:43 what I'm eating when it's time to eat, 23:44 is this going to bless me up or mess me up? 23:47 Now, we're both vegans. 23:49 Absolutely. Yes, you know. 23:50 What was your determining factor 23:52 of becoming a vegan? 23:53 Why? Well, you know what? 23:55 Years ago I was diagnosed with sarcoidosis 23:58 and that's a disease of the pulmonary system. 24:01 And it affects different people in different ways, 24:03 but it affected my pulmonary system. 24:05 And so in order for me to heal myself, 24:09 because I do believe that God gives us everything 24:11 that we need to heal ourselves. 24:12 Sometimes we don't want to acknowledge it, 24:14 but we have it. 24:15 And so I had to make a conscious decision 24:17 and my son is a health enthusiast. 24:20 And so he sat me down one day and he says, 24:21 "Mom, you know, you've got to eliminate 24:24 a lot of this stuff out of your diet 24:25 in order for you to be totally well." 24:27 And he says, 24:29 "And we're not gonna have this conversation again, 24:30 when you're ready." 24:31 He says, "I'm not talking to you as a mother, 24:33 I'm talking to you as a patient, 24:34 as someone that I love 24:35 and you're coming to me for help." 24:37 And so it took me a few years. 24:38 So I started eliminating things, 24:40 you know, out of my diet. 24:41 I had already eliminated the pork, 24:42 I had already eliminated the steak, 24:44 but the hardest thing for me was the seafood 24:45 'cause I love seafood, mainly salmon. 24:47 And so, once I made that conscious decision, 24:50 had already eliminated the milk products. 24:52 And I said to myself, you know, I want to live long, 24:56 but I don't wanna just live long. 24:57 I wanna feel good. I wanna live to be well. 24:59 Live to be well. I wanna live to be well. 25:01 And so I made a conscious decision 25:03 to begin to eliminate some other things. 25:05 And so when we were over in Kenya last year, 25:08 we lived with a family and they were all vegans, 25:11 they grew everything. 25:12 And so they said, 25:14 "You can't bring any meat in my home." 25:15 You can't, you know, they had a lot of stipulations 25:17 about what could take place. 25:18 And I said, "You know what? 25:20 This is a good time, 25:21 you know, for me to completely 25:22 make this commitment to myself." 25:25 And I tell you, since I've made that commitment, 25:27 my life has just changed. 25:28 I mean, I just, I feel vibrant. 25:31 I mean, I feel like I can go out 25:33 and conquer the world. 25:34 You know, it's just an amazing feeling for me 25:37 of spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. 25:40 Live to be well. I live to be well every day. 25:42 When I was diagnosed with breast cancer 25:45 and my oncologist said, 25:47 when he came back for my follow-up, 25:49 he said, because I'm not using sugar. 25:52 Now let me say this. 25:54 I was sitting in the corridor 25:55 when Arthur was taken in on April 28th, 25:59 when he called me, he said, "I'm not feeling well." 26:01 I was in church that Saturday came home. 26:04 I said, "Well, let's go to the hospital." 26:06 Took him, we were there till after midnight. 26:09 And from that point I was sitting there 26:12 and I know it was a spirit of the Lord. 26:14 I need you to become a vegan. 26:16 And I was like, I'm not the one sick, 26:20 not knowing two and a half years later, 26:23 I would be diagnosed with breast cancer. 26:25 And the doctors told me, 26:27 because again, it affects everybody differently, 26:30 but because I removed 26:31 so many things out of my diet, 26:33 he said, you are going to be totally healed, 26:36 you're safe 26:37 because you've changed your diet. 26:40 And so I praise the Lord. 26:42 We have a short time left. 26:44 Let's talk about live to be well? 26:46 Live to be well. Live to be well. 26:48 So how do we do that? 26:49 Yeah. 26:50 So, you know, making sure 26:52 that you're taking good care of yourself. 26:53 Yes. You know, taking time out for yourself. 26:55 Yes. 26:56 You know, being the best version of yourself, 26:57 loving yourself more than you love anybody else 27:00 after God, you love myself. 27:02 You love yourself. 27:03 'Cause the Bible says, love thy neighbor as thyself. 27:06 So, I can't love my neighbor unless I love myself. 27:08 Absolutely. Right. 27:09 Absolutely. 27:11 And so you have to remind yourself every day, 27:12 you know, by looking in the mirror 27:13 and telling yourself 27:15 today is gonna be a wonderful day, 27:16 better than it was yesterday, 27:17 but not as great it's gonna be tomorrow. 27:19 I'm gonna love myself today more than I did yesterday, 27:22 but not as much as I'm gonna love myself tomorrow. 27:24 I'm gonna take care of myself today 27:26 more than I did yesterday, 27:28 but not as much as I'm gonna take care of myself tomorrow. 27:31 So when we put all those things in place, 27:33 we can begin to live well because that's of God. 27:37 That's of God's. 27:38 Sickness and disease is not of God. 27:39 No, it's not. 27:41 And living to be well is of God. 27:43 I wanna thank Dr. Portia for being here. 27:45 You are beautiful. 27:46 You are my girlfriend, my sister in Christ. 27:50 I'm so proud of you earning a doctorate degree. 27:52 It's all God. May God continue to use you. 27:55 Yes, it is God. 27:56 It is important for us to live to be well. 27:58 How do we do that? 28:00 God first, taking care of yourself, 28:02 setting boundaries 28:04 and remembering that God is our everything. 28:07 I'm Dr. Kim, God bless. |
Revised 2021-08-02