Participants:
Series Code: LTBW
Program Code: LTBW190048S
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00:01 The following program features real clients
00:03 discussing sensitive issues. 00:05 The views and opinions expressed in this program 00:07 don't necessarily reflect 00:09 that of 3ABN's Dare to Dream Network. 00:11 Viewer discretion is advised. 00:48 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin. 00:51 Welcome to Live To Be Well. 00:53 Today my special guests, 00:55 they are Tracy Hightower 00:57 and Mrs. Sheila Hightower White. 01:00 Welcome to Live To Be Well. 01:02 Thank you. Thank you. 01:03 Today I want to talk about a cry for help. 01:05 And I would like for you to... 01:07 I appreciate you coming on Live To Be Well. 01:10 But let's talk about your sister, 01:12 then your daughter, Tracy. 01:14 Tell us what happened? 01:17 In 1991, 01:19 our beautiful, intelligent outgoing sister 01:23 at the age of 32 01:25 was stabbed to death by her husband. 01:29 This is someone who we welcome to our home, 01:33 who sat at our dinner table 01:34 and ate with us and laugh with us. 01:37 We were just devastated. 01:40 We had no idea. 01:42 Her neighbors told us 01:44 that she was abused almost every day. 01:48 Even when I talked to her coworkers, 01:51 they said that he would call her 01:53 and just and just keep ringing the phone, calling, 01:56 dialing the phone, you know, calling her on the phone, 01:58 Just harassing her. 01:59 Just keep... Just harassing her. 02:00 And she was so nervous. 02:03 How long have they been married? 02:04 They were married for five years. 02:07 And there were no red flags prior to her dating him? 02:10 Did she ever say anything? 02:12 No, she didn't. 02:14 She was just very protective over him. 02:17 We know she loved him. 02:19 And she would do anything for him. 02:21 But what she was... 02:23 We just didn't think that she would ever let anyone 02:25 abuse or beat on her. 02:27 Did he put her like in isolation? 02:29 Did she still attend the different holiday events 02:31 and things like that? 02:33 Or he did not permit her to engage with you all? 02:37 Well, at first, she was always around. 02:40 We had every holiday event. 02:42 Every get together, she was there. 02:44 But he was always... 02:46 She was nervous around him. 02:48 But there was a sign 02:49 but we didn't, we just didn't pick it up. 02:51 Did they have children? 02:53 No, thank goodness, 02:54 we're grateful that they didn't have children. 02:56 Because I know that children suffer from that, 02:58 you know, those kinds of things later in life. 03:00 How did you get the call 03:02 to let you know when it happened? 03:04 What is her name? What was her name? 03:05 Her name was Phoebe. Phoebe. 03:06 And I named my daughter after her. 03:08 Oh, that's beautiful. Yes. 03:09 Yes. So how did you get the call? 03:10 And how were you notified that Phoebe had been murdered? 03:14 Well, you know, actually, this is a lesson to everyone. 03:17 They lived in an apartment building 03:19 and her manager, 03:21 they didn't know 03:22 how to get in touch with anyone. 03:23 So it's always good to have additional info 03:27 and emergency contact 03:28 when you're, even if you're married. 03:30 You know, you have to, they were married. 03:32 But you would have to put 03:34 an additional family's member's name down. 03:37 So her boss called my mom. 03:39 They went to the morgue, the City Morgue 03:41 to identify my sister. And they came over. 03:45 And told you all. And told us. 03:46 Okay, back up a minute, though. 03:48 So who called your, 03:51 was she had her job listed on the application? 03:53 They found a telephone number where she worked. 03:56 She had a business card. 03:58 And they... And they found out. 03:59 So they found her, the apartment owner, 04:01 the manager of the apartment building? 04:03 No, I'm sorry, I'll back up. 04:05 What had happened is that 04:07 he called the police and said that, 04:09 "I killed my wife." 04:11 He called himself. He called the police. 04:13 But when the police arrived, 04:14 he told him it was self defense. 04:17 So... 04:18 That's a person who will never even kill a fly. 04:21 Okay. 04:22 You know, he said it was self defense. 04:23 So what happened to him? 04:25 He's in jail. 04:26 He's in jail for life because God is good. 04:30 The neighbors, 04:32 they saw a silhouette of my sister 04:33 running and screaming. 04:35 So everything that he told to police was a lie 04:38 when the witnesses came forward. 04:39 When they came forward? Yes. 04:41 So she was murdered right there in her home? 04:43 In her home, in her apartment. 04:44 So your mother was notified. 04:47 Your boss, her boss. 04:49 And then from there, you all were notified? 04:51 We were notified. 04:52 They called me home from work. 04:53 So you were stunned 04:55 'cause you had no idea this was even going on. 04:56 We were shocked. 04:58 We just even, just thinking that she would put up with it, 05:01 because we knew that she was the type of person 05:03 that wouldn't put up with things like that. 05:05 But she loved her husband. 05:07 And we were, we just, 05:10 you know, an actor, she passed away actually, 05:12 several family members passed away, 05:14 our parents passed away. 05:16 So we thought that we were almost, 05:18 you know, getting over to grief 05:21 and the tragedy of having 05:22 you know, our sister murdered so tragically. 05:25 But then, in night in 2013, on Mother's Day, 05:30 her daughter, she get. 05:32 Yes. What happen to her? 05:33 My daughter Stacy was murdered by a predator 05:36 that followed her home from a party. 05:38 The night before I had talked to Stacy 05:40 and she told me where she was going. 05:42 She was going to a party that was invitation only, 05:44 and I felt good about that, 05:45 because it was right up the street. 05:47 And we made plans 05:48 for Mother's Day Brunch the next day. 05:50 At about 7:15 in the morning, 05:53 the detectives arrived at my door 05:55 to tell me that my daughter was murdered. 05:59 Tracy, where did they find her? 06:01 They found her in her apartment. 06:03 Yeah. 06:05 And how were you notified? 06:07 The minute detectives came to my door they notified me, 06:09 and let me know that she was murdered. 06:11 When you saw them at your door, what went through your mind? 06:15 I thought they were at the wrong house. 06:17 That's the first thing you thought. 06:18 Yeah. 06:19 I thought I was glad just talk to her. 06:21 I could remember her last words. 06:23 You know, she told me she loved me. 06:24 And that was it. 06:26 I could just still hear that in my mind. 06:27 And that was Mother's Day. 06:29 That was Mother's Day, they were at your door. 06:30 Yes. Mother's Day, they came to my door. 06:33 They notified my son first. 06:35 I guess she, I don't know how they knew he was my son. 06:39 And when I see my son came driving up, 06:41 and then I've seen the detective car drove up too, 06:44 I knew something was wrong. 06:46 Something was wrong. Yes. 06:47 The pain that you feel, 06:50 how have you been? 06:51 And how long ago was this? 06:53 Six years. Six years. 06:55 How have you been able to go on, how? 06:59 But with my family, with their help 07:01 because I didn't want to go on. 07:04 What do you mean you didn't, 07:06 when you say you didn't want to go on? 07:07 My daughter was my best friend. 07:08 Yes. 07:10 And I didn't want to go on. 07:12 Was that your oldest child or youngest child? 07:15 Yes, she's my oldest child. Your firstborn? 07:17 Yes. 07:19 And it's still difficult today? 07:20 It's difficult for me right now to even talk. 07:24 Yes. 07:25 We appreciate you so much. 07:27 But we want you to know that 07:29 your testimonial service is going to 07:32 and your story is going to help so many people 07:35 on the 3ABN Dare to Dream Network. 07:37 Yes. 07:38 Because people are being abused every six seconds. 07:42 And it's not even reported by men 07:45 who are being abused 07:46 because they're so embarrassed. 07:48 I'm wearing purple in honor of those 07:51 who have been a part of domestic violence. 07:54 Purple is a color for domestic violence. 07:56 Yes, it is. 07:57 I didn't even know that there were so many colors 08:00 because domestic violence did not impact my life. 08:03 It did not impact me on an adult level 08:07 once I was hit by a man. 08:10 And it just literally just shocked me. 08:14 And my father was called in 08:16 and my oldest brother 08:18 and they said if you stay in this relationship, 08:21 it's a choice and it could take your life. 08:23 Yes. 08:24 And we don't realize how the community is impacted. 08:29 When we talk about the cry for help, 08:33 how, your sister kept the secret. 08:36 You know, let's talk about 08:38 why you think she kept the secret? 08:40 I know she loved him. You told me that. 08:42 But why? 08:45 Well, you know, our sister, 08:46 she kept a diary since she was a teenager. 08:50 And after she passed away, I read her diary. 08:54 And in the diary, she said that, 08:57 he wants, he, I can't divorce him 08:59 or leave him 09:01 because he told me that if he, if I did, 09:03 he would kill my family. 09:05 So she was protecting us. 09:08 Because I always wonder why she never left him. 09:11 And then another thing. 09:13 She thought that she could change him. 09:15 She prayed that he would change. 09:18 So she stayed with him. 09:20 But she didn't realize that 09:21 God didn't want her to live with anyone 09:24 that would treat her any less than what He would treat her. 09:29 So she was confused. 09:30 She was in love. She was a shame. 09:33 She wanted people to think she had everything together. 09:37 And there were so many signs that we didn't even look for. 09:42 We just thought she was, everything was okay. 09:44 But I remember one time my mother said that, 09:47 she was, um, she came over and her arm was broken. 09:52 And she had encased on 09:54 and she told my mother that she tripped. 09:56 You know, but that was a sign. 09:59 But she was always nervous. 10:00 That was a sign. 10:02 When you say nervous, was she just always fidgeting? 10:04 She was always, when he was around, 10:06 she was, she had to be so careful 10:08 about what she said. 10:10 And even with him, 10:11 we thought that he was always so easily offended. 10:14 He was so sensitive. 10:16 But that was a sign. 10:19 And even what, he would never keep a job. 10:22 It was always, "I'm quitting. My boss, he did something." 10:26 It was always somebody else's fault. 10:28 That was a sign. 10:29 And she was more so the breadwinner. 10:30 She was the breadwinner. 10:32 She tried to help him. 10:34 After reading the diary, she couldn't do enough for him. 10:37 Nothing would satisfy him. 10:39 And that's usually the case in abusive situations. 10:42 And so, therefore, they feel again that they, 10:45 it's their fault. 10:46 Right. 10:48 I am your trigger. Yes. 10:49 You are worthless. Yes. 10:50 You are stupid. 10:52 You're dumb. Yes. 10:53 You know, the way they degrade their victims. 10:57 And then the other day I was talking to someone 10:59 they said, I'm now, I'm no longer a victim. 11:01 I'm a survivor. Right, right. 11:03 I am a survivor and I will tell my story. 11:05 Yes. 11:06 And so, with, and your sister was how old again? 11:09 She was 32 and her daughter was 32. 11:13 They both passed away at the same age. 11:15 Same age. 11:17 So young. Yes. 11:18 So young. Yes. 11:19 Now, was your daughter close to her aunt? 11:22 Yes, they were. 11:24 You know, that's something, they were close. 11:26 Yes. 11:27 How's your son doing? 11:29 He's doing better, you know? 11:32 It was really rough for a while. 11:34 He's kept things in 11:35 and now he's talking more and, you know. 11:38 'Cause they were close. Just back yourself. 11:40 They were real close. They were close. 11:41 They were two years apart. 11:42 My goodness. 11:44 You yourself and Phoebe, 11:46 where it was just the three sisters. 11:48 No, we have four sisters. 11:50 All girls, no sons? 11:51 Yes, we have a brother but he was... 11:53 Men take at heart. 11:54 They take it really hard because they are... 11:56 Men are just natural protectors. 11:58 Yes. So he was upset. 12:01 "I wasn't there to protect her." 12:03 You know, so he took it a lot differently 12:04 from how we took it. 12:06 He wanted to be there. 12:08 And now, and then of course, 12:09 out there he wanted to go to the jail 12:11 and do something to him, you know? 12:13 But um, they're protectors. 12:15 First impulse. 12:16 It's the first impulse. Yes. 12:18 You hurt my family. 12:19 You hurt my family, you hurt my sister. 12:21 They were both pretty cool woman, 12:23 her daughter, little hands, little feet just little. 12:25 And even the gentleman that murdered my niece, 12:28 her daughter. 12:30 He went to police, he went to, he was a big guy. 12:32 So he was no match to my niece. 12:35 The police said he had an elaborate weight system 12:38 in his basement. 12:40 So it was just no match. 12:43 Let me ask you this. 12:46 When you think about your loss, 12:48 I know God has been your strength. 12:50 Yes. 12:51 Your faith in God, and your hope in God. 12:56 But when you go throughout the day, 13:00 and you see young girls 13:02 or in the supermarket 13:03 or someone hollering at someone. 13:06 Is that a trigger for you? 13:08 Yes, it is. Yes. 13:09 Tell me how does that impact you? 13:12 Because I wanted to, I just I really want to 13:14 because it happened to my daughter. 13:17 And I really want to just go to her and say, 13:19 you know, and talk about her and tell her she's worth. 13:21 You know, she's more than that. 13:23 Don't allow someone to talk to you like that. 13:25 Don't let somebody, you know, 13:26 don't let somebody do that to you. 13:28 So, your self confidence, you know, be strong. 13:31 And you know, and later on, 13:33 you'll see what you're worth it. 13:34 And you know, 13:36 and you don't think about those things 13:37 when you're in a public place, 13:40 but you, I began to notice, 13:42 I'm learning to notice different signs. 13:46 And I'm learning how people, 13:48 couples interact with each other. 13:51 Someone came to me and told me, 13:54 Dr. Nowlin, there's someone that you know, 13:57 that's been abused for 25 years. 14:01 You know, but when I see them, 14:03 they're out, they're bubbly, they're happy. 14:05 She's holding his hand and he's holding her hand. 14:09 And, but she can't leave, 25 years. 14:13 So in a situation like that, 14:16 I then, I go to my pastor, 14:19 I go to someone who can intervene in that, 14:23 because you just don't know what you're dealing with. 14:26 And you have to pray for wisdom. 14:29 Because if something happens to her, 14:30 and I know and I did nothing about it. 14:34 I knew about it, but I did nothing about it. 14:36 See, and your sister, 14:38 she was, and this is what they do. 14:41 I will hurt your family. 14:42 Right. Right. 14:44 If you leave me I will kill your entire family. 14:46 Yes. 14:47 So the threat of violence that, 14:50 you know, constantly being beat into your mind 14:54 because she did not want anything to happen to you all 14:58 because we know in the news. 15:00 We know what happens constantly. 15:02 Yes, that's true. 15:04 So she could not, you know, allow herself 15:07 to be the cause of losing her entire family. 15:10 Exactly. 15:12 You have a good point, 15:13 as far as the person that's being abused, 15:15 we want to tell woman if it's happening to you 15:18 to tell someone, talk to someone. 15:21 You know, because violence, it strives in silence. 15:25 So we had to let people know what's going on. 15:27 My sister didn't tell us. 15:29 We, like I said, we were shocked 15:31 when we talked to the neighbors, 15:33 when we talked to her coworkers, 15:34 we just didn't think that she would ever let this happen. 15:38 I want to talk to the people, you know, to the coworkers, 15:40 to the people that she worked with. 15:44 If you notice something, 15:45 if you notice something suspicious about a person, 15:47 if they're isolated, or if they feel like, 15:52 you know, that they don't want to talk to you, 15:54 and you notice that they're different, 15:56 just open up and say, 15:58 "Are you okay? 15:59 You know, I noticed that you're not the same. 16:01 Can I talk to you? You know, I love you. 16:03 You know, God loves you." 16:05 Some people don't open up. 16:06 People need to take that village concept back. 16:09 If they see people struggling, just talk to them. 16:12 Yes. 16:13 If someone comes to a person 16:15 and tell them, I'm in a bad situation, 16:17 I'm hurting, I'm being abused. 16:20 Don't shut that person down. 16:22 Yes. 16:23 Because a lot of the events that we go to, 16:25 a lot of the woman will say, 16:26 the worst people 16:28 who give them the most grief are other woman, 16:31 you know, they have, people have told me that 16:33 we've been to numerous events, 16:34 and people have told me that I went to a friend. 16:37 And she told me what, you know, you married him, 16:40 and you shouldn't be telling his business. 16:42 You know, he's a good community leader. 16:44 He's nice to me. 16:46 So I will keep it to myself, I won't tell anyone. 16:49 And so a lot of women shut down 16:51 when they see that they can't talk to anyone, 16:54 and they become a part product, actually a victim blaming. 16:58 People, you know, so, 17:00 "Why should I talk to anyone, I'm just gonna get blamed?" 17:03 Talk a little bit about victim blaming? 17:04 Victim blaming, because when people are blamed, 17:07 they feel like, they just, they're all alone. 17:11 And that's what the devil, 17:13 the enemy wants people to think. 17:14 You're the only person that's going through this. 17:16 You know, so don't tell anybody. 17:18 And a lot of women actually, 17:21 victim blaming 17:22 causes a lot of women to commit suicide. 17:25 Really? They get depressed, you know. 17:27 And people don't go to counselors, 17:29 because they feel like, their, it's their fault. 17:31 So they won't go to a counselor like you, 17:33 they won't go to a pastor, 17:36 because they'll think that they're gonna get shut down 17:38 because a friend shut them down. 17:41 But, so people should know that they can't go with this. 17:45 There's help out there. 17:47 But a lot of people don't think that is 17:49 that they need it 17:50 because they think that, 17:51 "Oh, wow. Like I said, Oh, I'll pray for him. 17:53 He'll get better, 17:55 you know, I should still do what I have to do 17:57 to keep this marriage together, 17:59 to keep this relationship together." 18:00 I mean, woman had who went out on dates with me, 18:02 and, and they were abused like yourself, 18:05 and some woman feel like, 18:06 "It was my fault. 18:08 I shouldn't have him over to my house 18:09 or I might have done something." 18:11 So they let it go. 18:13 But the only thing is the gentlemen will, 18:15 I mean, the person will go out 18:16 and they will do the same thing to someone else. 18:17 Someone else. 18:19 So that's what our ministry is. 18:21 We want to break the silence. 18:22 We want to bring awareness, you know, to help other women. 18:25 To let everyone know that we can, you can talk, 18:28 you can talk about it. 18:30 The need is great. The need is great. 18:32 Tracy, let's go back to something. 18:35 You said that your daughter left an event, 18:38 the man followed her home. 18:41 He was able to pry the knob, the lock, 18:46 and came in on her. 18:48 And then, of course, the incident happened? 18:52 Yes. 18:53 And so being such a tiny little woman, 18:57 she could not defend herself. 18:59 And you said that this man was married? 19:01 Yes. 19:03 He worked out. Yes. 19:04 And he is almost like he set at that event outside 19:09 just waiting for a victim to come out? 19:10 Yes. 19:12 And she came out. 19:14 And he followed her. 19:15 He followed her. 19:16 While he was, while she was at the event, 19:18 he was in the event 19:20 and he was, he was trying to talk to her all night. 19:22 But she was brushing him off. 19:23 So he went outside and he followed? 19:25 He followed her. He followed? 19:27 I remember reading a story a while back. 19:29 You might remember this story. 19:31 A young lady received a phone call from her cousin. 19:34 Let's go out to dinner. 19:36 And she said, "No, I have a big exam." 19:38 And her husband says, 19:39 "Go out. You've been studying, you've been doing really well." 19:42 So she called her cousin says, "Let's go out to dinner." 19:46 Well, there was a gentleman walked up to her and said, 19:48 "Hello, may I buy you dinner?" 19:51 And she says, "No, I'm fine." 19:53 And he says, "Oh, it's like that?" 19:55 Because the cousin was sitting there and she walked way, 19:58 but she heard the conversation, coming back. 20:01 And then he walked away. 20:04 They had dinner. 20:05 She went outside. 20:07 Her cousin left her purse or something. 20:10 She went outside 20:11 and the man was standing next to her 20:13 and, 'cause the valet parked. 20:15 And the man said, 20:16 "Oh, really, you just gonna ignore me like that." 20:19 And shot her right there. 20:22 Just like that. 20:23 And I don't know the husband, I just read the story. 20:28 And you just don't know what will trigger a person. 20:32 Mental health is serious. 20:35 I tell people constantly 20:37 stress, anxiety, depression, 20:40 bipolar disorder, mood swings. 20:42 Yes, yes. 20:44 Insomnia, I haven't slept in five days. 20:46 I'm not going to do too well at work today. 20:48 Right. 20:49 So that's a trigger 20:51 if someone says something to me, 20:52 and I'm already dealing with a problem. 20:54 So I'm gonna go out, 20:56 and then I'm gonna come back in. 20:58 And then I'm just gonna start shooting everyone on my job. 21:01 Right. Right. So we have mass shooting. 21:03 Yes. 21:04 All of these things, they have it yet, 21:06 and you're right. 21:07 You, Sheila, the enemy is busy. 21:09 He knows he has but a short time. 21:11 And he is out to destroy God's people, 21:14 kill, steal and destroy. 21:16 Yes. 21:17 In a situation like mine, 21:20 I had a father, brother and mother. 21:22 I was able to, 21:24 I came to my senses that punch alone. 21:27 And I thought about myself that I want to live like this. 21:30 And usually, if they hit you once, 21:32 they'll hit you again. 21:34 I saw a woman at a restaurant. 21:35 He just snatched her. 21:37 And she said, 21:38 I'm coming and he just right in front of everyone. 21:42 He didn't even care. 21:44 And she says, 21:45 "Okay, please stay out of it, stay out of it." 21:48 You know, because I don't have a voice. 21:51 I don't have anything. 21:52 Women have voices, do they not? 21:54 Yes, they do. They do. 21:55 And men? They do. They do. 21:56 Because women abuse men. Right. 21:58 Have you ever met a man 22:00 that had been abused by his spouse? 22:01 Okay. 22:03 You know, have you ever encountered 22:04 any of that, Sheila? 22:05 No, but I think if men are like you said 22:07 they'll keep it quiet. 22:08 Yes. 22:10 And we focus on woman 22:11 because two women in our, in our family were murdered. 22:14 But we, our ministry and our organization, 22:18 we're looking for property right now. 22:20 Because we are gonna have classes 22:23 for men and woman, 22:24 you know about domestic violence. 22:26 And we're in the process right now 22:28 to of writing a book, a children's book. 22:30 Because we know that 22:32 a lot of times it starts from a young age, you know? 22:36 We're gonna, we're writing a children's book 22:38 to let with illustrations, 22:40 to let the children know that this is not okay. 22:42 It's not okay, if mom is abusing dad, 22:44 or dad is abusing mom, 22:46 because a lot of those children, 22:48 they grow up and they start being abusers 22:50 and it goes from generation to generation. 22:53 And it's not cute. 22:54 It's not cute. No, it isn't. 22:56 You know, kicking someone 22:57 and then you see the bullying in school. 22:59 Yes, yes. 23:01 See they're little. That's true. 23:02 And you know, or you see it in church. 23:04 I just bumped that person. 23:05 Oh, that's cute. It's not cute. 23:07 It's not. It's not. 23:08 You know, or I see little children 23:10 in the grocery store. 23:11 And this little baby, 23:13 she could have been more than four, 23:15 you know, just kept slapping her mother. 23:18 Wow. 23:19 And the mother didn't do anything to stop. 23:21 And I'm behind them in the line. 23:24 And that little girl looked at me and I said, 23:26 "No, no, no." 23:27 Yes, yes. 23:29 And she looked at me and she just 23:30 and she turned around and she punched her mother. 23:32 Oh, my goodness. 23:34 So I don't know if this is what she's seeing at home, 23:36 because they emulate what they see. 23:38 Right. Right. 23:40 So, 'cause a four year old 23:42 just slapping her mother and punching her. 23:44 Yeah. 23:45 So she's been exposed to something. 23:47 Yes, she is. 23:48 But your sister and your daughter 23:50 was not exposed to domestic violence. 23:52 Right. Right. 23:53 So this was something that was just like I said, 23:56 it was so shocking, 23:57 because Phoebe wasn't raised like that. 23:59 She wasn't raised like that. 24:00 We were always raised to treat people, 24:03 you know, with kindness. 24:04 We were raised in a church 24:07 that but only thing is 24:08 sometimes people take advantage of your kindness 24:11 and they look at it as weakness. 24:13 As a weakness. 24:14 And so we, because we treat, 24:16 we teach people how to treat us. 24:18 So she just, we just thought that 24:22 my niece, our sister, 24:25 they thought that it was okay 24:27 to try to help this person 24:29 because they felt that as a Christian person, 24:32 a religious person 24:34 that they were supposed to do the right thing 24:36 but abuse like what you say love is not violent. 24:40 Love, you know, we don't serve a violent God. 24:43 It is not intimidating. It is not intimidating. 24:45 2 Corinthians 13 talks about, what love is. 24:48 Yes, that's true. 24:50 You know, and so therefore we are to love ourselves, 24:52 love our neighbor as ourselves. 24:54 And for God so loved the world 24:56 that He gave His only begotten Son, 24:58 in love He did that. 24:59 Yes. 25:01 And Jesus, I can't even fathom Him on the cross. 25:04 But He said, 25:05 "Father, forgive them 25:07 for they know not what they do." 25:09 Exactly. 25:10 And Jesus, He literally 25:12 the nail prints in His hands and His feet. 25:15 And He said that, 25:16 "If this cup could pass, let it pass," 25:18 because they abused our Lord and Savior. 25:20 Yes, yes, 25:21 You know, I mean, 25:23 we can go all the way back to the beginning of time, 25:25 domestic violence, 25:27 and the things that they did to our Lord and Savior. 25:30 You know, when we think about Cain and Abel in the Bible. 25:33 Cain killed his brother, that you know, violence. 25:37 And so we look at all the history, 25:40 you know, we look at slavery, 25:42 we look at the Holocaust with the Jews, 25:45 we see the pain. 25:48 And I remember my administrator, Karen said, 25:52 you need to go and visit the Holocaust Museum. 25:55 And I'm like, "I'm not Jewish. Why do I need to go?" 26:00 See, that's the mentality we have. 26:01 Yeah. 26:03 As long as it's not impacting our lives. 26:04 And Karen said to me, "You need to see this." 26:08 And I took our daughter class, eighth grade class, 26:12 my daughter, she was in eighth grade, 26:14 took them, 26:15 and I don't know where it was in the museum, 26:18 but there was a railroad storage unit, 26:22 or, you know, where the railroad 26:24 caboose or whatever, 26:26 and they stuffed those individuals in there. 26:28 And you can still see the stain blood 26:31 on the inside of the train. 26:33 Right. Right. 26:34 So we have all suffered. Yes. 26:37 And domestic violence does not have a color. 26:40 No, no, it doesn't, 26:42 or boundary or anything, it's there. 26:45 But it's funny that you talked about 26:47 how people would think, oh, this is not me, 26:49 or you know, but you went and you found out that it was, 26:52 but um, and that's one of our biggest obstacles, 26:54 because we have a hard time with, 26:57 we, you know what? 26:58 We go out and speak on awareness on prevention. 27:01 But some people say, 27:02 "Oh, well, you know, 27:03 domestic violence doesn't have anything to do with me." 27:06 But how do you know it's not your sister, 27:08 or your brother, 27:09 or the lady sitting next to you in church. 27:12 Even domestic violence is prevalent in charge. 27:15 And thank goodness, 27:16 you have a awesome ministry in your church 27:18 for domestic violence, 27:20 but people don't think it's dumb. 27:21 So that's why we still want to bring awareness 27:24 because it can happen to anyone. 27:25 It can happen to anyone. 27:27 I want to thank you both 27:28 for coming on the 3ABN Dare to Dream Network. 27:31 I know it was hard, Tracy. 27:32 We love you. 27:34 We love you, Sheila. Thank you so much. 27:35 We love you, and we appreciate you. 27:38 If we can say anything today, make God your first choice. 27:42 Yes. 27:44 Don't keep the secret. 27:45 Let someone know that you are in trouble. 27:49 Let someone know that you need help. 27:52 And God is going to see you through it. 27:55 Amen. 27:56 Our prayers are with the Hightower family 27:57 and all of you 27:59 who may be going through something right now. 28:01 I'm asking you to take a stand against domestic violence. 28:05 I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin, and live to be well. 28:09 God bless. |
Revised 2021-08-20