Participants: Jennifer Jill Schwirzer Robert Davidson (Host), David Guerro, Paul Coneff, Christina Cecotto
Series Code: MOC
Program Code: MOC000002A
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00:29 Welcome to A Multitude of Counselors.
00:33 We are so thankful you came to our program today. 00:36 This is a program designed to help us 00:38 better understand mental health, 00:40 how we can experience healing off 00:43 from a biblical standpoint. 00:44 I've got a treatment team with me here today, 00:47 so thankful to have each one of you. 00:49 First, we have Paul Coneff from Texas. 00:52 Paul is a marriage and family therapist 00:55 and he runs a ministry called Straight to the Heart, 00:58 a prayer and discipleship ministry 00:59 called Straight to the Heart. 01:00 And through that ministry, he helps people through loss, 01:04 addiction, trauma, 01:07 using prayers that focus on the cross of Jesus. 01:11 It's an amazing unique program. 01:12 Very, very powerful. 01:14 So glad to have you here, Paul. 01:15 Also glad to have David Guerrero. 01:18 David is from Wisconsin 01:20 and David wears many hats. 01:22 He is a pastor, he is a chaplain, 01:24 he is a life coach 01:25 and he is a biblically certified counselor. 01:28 He also runs a ministry, 01:29 it's exhausting just talking about it, 01:32 called Rekindle the Flame, 01:33 and under that ministry, he conducts seminars 01:36 and does his counseling as well. 01:38 So glad to have you here at the program, 01:42 David, and we're welcoming also Nivischi Edwards, 01:47 Nivischi is from Tennessee. 01:49 Nivischi runs a virtual private practice. 01:52 Dr. Nivischi runs a virtual private practice 01:56 and she also teaches at Southern Adventist University. 01:59 She is an inspiring author, working on a book, 02:02 and she likes to work with people 02:04 on developing healthy relationships 02:06 including good relationship with themselves, 02:08 'cause after all, 02:09 we have a relationship with ourselves. 02:11 So, glad to have you here at the program, Nivischi. 02:15 This is my co-host Rob Davison, he's from the DC area. 02:19 Rob, conducts a private practice 02:22 and he works with families, couples and individuals 02:25 and he likes to focus... one of the things, 02:27 that I'm really happy about is that, 02:28 he likes to focus on 02:31 helping men develop servant leadership 02:33 and biblical manhood, and integrity, 02:36 and there is a big need for that today 02:38 for men mentoring men. 02:40 So, I'm really excited about that. 02:42 If you are interested in more information about 02:44 any of these individuals, 02:46 you can go to our website 02:48 which is amultitudeofcounselors.tv, 02:52 and you will find their contact information. 02:54 So welcome to the program, folks, 02:57 and I'm so glad that you're here. 02:59 Our topic today is Trauma. 03:01 We're gonna be talking about trauma. 03:03 The first thing we want to do is get a definition up for you, 03:06 so that you can understand, what are we talking about, 03:09 when we talk about trauma. 03:13 "A deeply distressing or disturbing experience." 03:17 Now, posttraumatic stress disorder, 03:20 sometimes called syndrome is a response 03:23 to a traumatic event. 03:24 And from what I understand of the traumatic event 03:28 is something that's life threatening, 03:29 but can it go beyond that, 03:31 because I know you've worked with the militarians, 03:33 so you've worked with lot of, what we called PTSDs, 03:35 isn't that right, Nivischi. 03:36 Absolutely. 03:38 So can the trauma be caused by 03:40 not just a life threatening situation, 03:41 but also just a deeply, 03:44 emotionally disturbing situation 03:45 that isn't necessarily life threatening, 03:47 'cause we're trying... 03:49 You're absolutely correct. Absolutely correct, Jennifer. 03:50 Okay, so that's posttraumatic stress disorder 03:53 and so let me give me some of the markers 03:55 of what we call PTSD. 03:57 There are three basic signs where we see them. 04:00 We know a person is suffering with PTSD, 04:03 and they are nightmares, 04:06 the person revisiting that 04:07 traumatic experience in their sleep, 04:10 and then flashbacks, 04:11 revisiting that traumatic experience 04:13 during the day when they are awake. 04:15 And then extreme triggerability, 04:17 anytime the person is exposed to things 04:19 that remind them of that traumatic event, 04:21 they are brought... 04:23 they're back there, 04:24 they're reliving that experience. 04:25 So PTSD is very interesting, 04:28 Normal memory processing involves, 04:32 eventually the charge is taken out of that memory, 04:35 the emotional charge 04:37 so that we can remember it cognitively 04:39 without re-experiencing it. 04:40 You know, you guys have all had disturbing experiences, 04:42 and you can remember it sometimes down to the detail, 04:45 but you don't necessarily re-experience it 04:47 when you're relating it to someone. 04:49 But what happens with PTSD is that 04:50 processing of that memory goes arise somehow, 04:53 and the person keeps reliving it, 04:55 and it is thought that is the mind's attempt 04:58 to get it thoroughly processed. 05:00 So that's a definition, 05:02 what about the prevalence of PTSD? 05:06 Very high prevalence rate. 05:08 In the US about 7.8 percent lifetime prevalence, 05:12 that means that 7.8 percent of people 05:14 will in their lifetime experience 05:16 PTSD on some levels. 05:18 And women are roughly double the rate of men. 05:21 What about the cause? 05:23 Of course a traumatic event, 05:24 but if we want to look at it from a neurological standpoint, 05:27 we have a system in our brain called the limbic system, 05:30 it is fully the emotional part of the brain. 05:33 And when we experience a trauma, 05:35 most things are processed through the cerebral cortex, 05:39 the thinking part of the brain. 05:40 But a trauma will go directly 05:42 to the emotional part of the brain 05:44 and sometimes, really, literally 05:45 overload that part of the brain 05:47 such that a person's limbic system 05:50 gets affected by it, 05:51 and they can end up in a state of constant limbic arousal 05:55 or what we might call survival mode, right? 05:59 So that's the cause of prognosis, 06:02 very treatable. 06:03 I love to work with people through PTSD. 06:07 The three basic treatments 06:08 that I know of are talk therapy, 06:10 sometimes just relating their story 06:12 to another person is enough. 06:14 The human mind has this tremendous drive 06:17 to archive history, 06:19 that's why we have all this history books and stuff. 06:20 We want to hang on to our history, 06:22 sometimes just sharing it with another person 06:24 enables us to let go of it, 06:25 because we know, where we can find it. 06:27 The second treatment is deep relaxation 06:30 and sometimes prayer in the context of that 06:34 and reviewing the memories in that context. 06:36 And I think you probably do 06:37 something like that with your method 06:40 that you use, don't you? 06:41 Where you pray with people 06:42 and then you revisit the trauma in the context of praying. 06:45 Yeah. 06:46 We'll let you know, 06:47 what are those negative thoughts 06:49 that get in those neurological pathways 06:50 of our brain that created. 06:52 'Cause you hear a lot of noise and what does your brain do, 06:53 you are not aware of it, but you are thinking, 06:55 hey I'm back there in Afghanistan, you know, 06:57 could be a car back firing 06:58 but it's not a 4th of July firecracker. 07:01 It's life and death. Yeah. 07:02 So, as we take that into Jesus' story 07:05 where he was traumatized and we pray, 07:07 what we find is that they get healing 07:09 they can like you said, 07:10 they can think about the event, 07:12 but that charge is not there. 07:13 Has been taken out. 07:14 The other thing that's fascinating is 07:17 something called EMDR, 07:19 Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. 07:22 This was discovered by Francine Shapiro, 07:23 she is a woman. 07:25 She is walking through a park, 07:26 thinking about a traumatic event, 07:28 moving her eyes back and forth across the field of vision 07:30 and realize that because her eyes were moving, 07:32 it didn't bother her to think about it as much. 07:34 Then they realize that what was happening was her brain was, 07:38 what they call bilateralzing. 07:39 It was activating both hemispheres of the brain, 07:42 and they've come to the conclusion that 07:44 when the brain is activated on both sides like that, 07:47 it's better capable of processing. 07:50 So, they developed this system call EMDR 07:53 where they actually use probes 07:55 or the therapist will move their finger back and forth. 07:57 It looks like hypnosis, but it's not hypnosis 08:00 because it's not mind control, 08:02 that's the problem with hypnosis is mind control. 08:04 But it's actually very effective, 08:06 you know what I do, 08:07 so I just take people for walks and I say, 08:08 let's look at the beauties of nature, 08:10 let's oxygenate our brain with the fresh air 08:13 and let's talk through this difficult patch 08:15 in your life, 08:16 and a lot of times that does a trick. 08:18 So what else do you guys use too... 08:19 I know, you probably have a robust experience 08:21 in treating trauma, all of you do, 08:22 and that's why I wanted you on the show, so talk to me. 08:25 Yeah. 08:26 You know, there's two things that I think 08:27 that's very important here. 08:29 And, you know, 08:30 the first and it's like you were saying, 08:31 is to help the person find that sacred space. 08:34 And what I mean by that sacred space is that place 08:37 where they can come aside, 08:39 and in a sense we live the event, 08:43 and then seek the support that they need. 08:45 It's interesting that you talk about trauma 08:47 in the sense that we all experience something like it. 08:50 In 2005, you know, I lost my mother 08:53 and that was kind of traumatic for me, 08:55 and for me what helped 08:58 more than anything was not so much 09:00 people coming up to me and saying, I'm sorry, 09:02 but people giving me that space. 09:04 So that I could spend sometime alone thinking about the loss 09:08 and then in my own time 09:10 being able to reach out to some people 09:12 that I thought could support me through my loss 09:15 and just listen to me. 09:17 And so that I can work through that grief 09:19 and a post traumatic stress syndrome, 09:22 excuse me, is really, it's complicated grief. 09:27 I love that, that is so powerful. 09:28 So you said you appreciated them 09:31 leaving you and letting you 09:33 kind of work it out on your own, 09:35 and then when you were ready 09:36 approaching certain people that could help you in, 09:38 that you could talk through with, 09:39 that's beautiful. 09:41 That's really beautiful, 09:42 what else have you guys used, you know what methods? 09:44 We all experienced trauma, 09:45 and I think sometimes we don't realize 09:46 even when we were going through a traumatic experience, 09:48 that it is trauma, 09:50 that we are experiencing trauma 09:52 until sometimes after the event has occurred. 09:55 And what I do with clients often is sit with them 09:58 in their story, 10:00 allowing somebody to tell the story 10:03 of the traumatic experience they had. 10:06 Because often we find that they have not shared the pain, 10:10 the hurt, 10:11 the intensity of the experience they had, 10:15 and that's invaluable to allow someone 10:17 to share about their experience. 10:20 Usually relieves the traumatic event. 10:23 Do you find that sometimes people have this tendency to, 10:27 you know, to stuff it and ignore it, 10:28 instead of face it? 10:30 Especially when the trauma occurred 10:32 in dysfunctional system 10:34 that didn't allow them to have pain. 10:35 So in order, if the trauma was perpetrated 10:38 by people in that system, 10:39 for instance, sexual abuse as children, 10:41 it's a hush-hush situation, you can't say anything. 10:43 So that child never got to process that trauma 10:46 and a lot of times they have that sense of taboo. 10:49 And then, who wants to do that? 10:51 After have gone through trauma, who wants to talk about it? 10:54 I want to pretend that it didn't happened, 10:55 because it's easier, it's too painful, 10:58 it's too triggering. 10:59 So what I will do is sit with it, 11:01 sit on it and pretend it didn't happen. 11:04 And when we do not talk about the trauma, 11:06 what happens is, 11:07 there is something that stays inside of us 11:11 and the actual cells of our body 11:13 feel the trauma as well. 11:15 And so, if we are not able to release 11:17 what has happened to us, 11:19 it stays in us in the form of stress, 11:21 aches and pains, ulcers, headaches. 11:24 I had one client come to me and she said, she thought, 11:26 she was having a heart attack, 11:28 and what was actually happening, 11:29 she said her arms were numb and I said well, 11:33 have you been to the doctor? 11:34 And she said, no. 11:35 And I said, well, make sure after this session 11:37 that you go to the doctor and get checked out thoroughly. 11:40 She came back a week later said that... 11:42 everything was fine with her, 11:44 but the doctor said this is stress 11:46 and what did happen to her was, 11:48 there was emotional trauma happening on the job. 11:51 And it was manifesting itself in her body 11:53 and she didn't know what was going on. 11:54 And I just had to sit with her and hear her story, 11:57 because she had not gotten it out at all. 11:59 Body memory, 12:01 you talked about what she was experiencing. 12:03 We may pretend that we haven't experienced trauma. 12:05 We may stuff it, we may deny it, 12:07 but our body doesn't lie. 12:08 That's right. 12:10 Our body always reveals what's really going on 12:12 and that's a great example of that. 12:13 And that stress, 12:14 it's kind of like trying to hold 12:16 a beach ball under water, 12:17 you can do it for a little while. 12:19 That's true. 12:20 But it wants to come up, 12:21 and so that stress in our body 12:23 is its way of saying, it's time to release it, 12:25 to look at and sitting with someone, 12:27 giving them permission to tell their story 12:29 without judgment, just letting, 12:30 sometimes they will start 12:32 connecting the dots for themselves, 12:34 and realize that it was more traumatic than they realized. 12:38 And that connection of being with someone 12:40 who's gonna let them tell their story 12:42 can be very critical to creating safety 12:44 or like you said that's that sacred space 12:46 where they can begin processing... 12:49 Oh, I'm in a safe place, I can let down. 12:52 What about the notion 12:54 that we should not talk about the past, you know, 12:58 forgetting the things which lie behind and, 13:01 you know, reaching forth 13:02 and the things which are before, 13:04 press toward the mark, you know, the passage, 13:05 I've heard that quote... 13:07 You know, the interesting thing about that passage? 13:08 Yeah... 13:10 Is if you look in that context, 13:11 he's just told you everything he's left in the past. 13:12 Exactly. That's true. 13:14 And so, when I invite people to do and they tell me, 13:16 are you willing to tell me what you've left in the past? 13:18 And if they're in denial, 13:20 then guess what the answer's gonna be. 13:21 So if you reach scripture in context, 13:23 he is telling you, he was a Pharisee, 13:25 he was proud, he was self righteous, 13:26 he is telling you what God has put in the past. 13:29 That's right. 13:30 And people have gotten healing in wholeness. 13:31 They will use your testimony in a way they say... 13:33 They're not gonna give you 13:34 all the dirty details of the abuse or trauma. 13:36 But they're gonna say here's where I was, 13:38 here's what happened, 13:40 and here's how God brought me out of it, 13:41 and where he is bringing me to it. 13:43 This is how Paul was ready to move on, 13:44 because he said, 13:46 I can now forget it 13:47 because I just confessed this. 13:49 There you go. 13:50 And this is scriptural to confess is getting it out. 13:52 Yeah. 13:53 And when we confess to others, to God, 13:55 we're ready to... 13:56 When we face the pain, we're ready to move on. 13:58 Now, is there a point where some people overtalk? 14:01 Absolutely. 14:02 It's just like food, you know, you can under process food 14:04 and try to live on raw broccoli, 14:06 or uncooked rice, 14:08 or you can overcook food, 14:10 you can over process it and make people sick that way. 14:12 So I feel the same way about 14:14 talking about thing as possible. 14:16 We're talking about people 14:17 that are terribly under processed, 14:19 but can people dwell to the point 14:21 where it's harmful to them? 14:22 What will be the motive for them sharing? 14:24 Are they sharing to connect 14:26 with other safe human beings to move through it, 14:28 or are they sharing 14:30 just to avoid dealing with the deeper issues? 14:32 Are they sharing 14:33 because they want self pity, you know, 14:35 they just want your attention, 14:36 and they're pretty much want to stay there 14:38 in that victim mindset. 14:39 That's great. 14:41 And so I think that the key here 14:42 for what I'm hearing is that 14:43 they could be stuck either way. 14:45 Stuck in... 14:46 Not talking about it 14:48 or stuck in talking too much about it 14:49 without really dealing with it. 14:50 And using scripture to avoid talking about it. 14:52 Yeah. 14:54 I mean, that's an important point is that 14:55 we can use scripture to avoid letting God work in heart. 14:58 So when God is always after our hearts 15:00 all the way through scripture. 15:01 Yes. 15:03 And Jesus said, he came to heal the broken heart. 15:05 That's right. 15:06 Bind up their wounds. 15:08 So, it's identifying, 15:09 helping the person identifying where they're stuck. 15:10 Yes. Yes. 15:12 Okay. Amen. 15:13 So, Rob, would you read our presenting problem for today? 15:15 Sure. 15:17 So we can all come together on that. 15:18 Thomas is a 38 year old white middle class married man, 15:22 who comes to therapy to talk through a difficult event 15:25 surrounding a health crisis in his family. 15:28 He is second of four children, 15:30 a four year old was recently diagnosed with epilepsy, 15:33 and will likely have to be on medication 15:35 for the rest of his life. 15:36 Thomas turned to his pastor, 15:38 who have just graduated from seminary 15:40 was writing a book about, why God allows suffering. 15:43 In an effort to give Thomas some answers, 15:45 he asked him to read one of the chapters. 15:47 Thomas received the impression from the chapter 15:50 that although God care deeply, 15:52 that He could not do anything to stop his son's epilepsy 15:55 or human suffering for that matter. 15:57 Since then Thomas has wondered, if God is in control at all, 16:03 has he been having night... 16:04 he has been having nightmares 16:05 about various disasters occurring, 16:07 and these nightmares began 16:09 when he read the pastor's chapter. 16:11 Okay. 16:12 So what would you guys do in that situation? 16:14 How would you help this man, Thomas? 16:18 Obviously, there's a picture of God 16:20 that he has received 16:22 from reading the chapters in the book, 16:23 and so one of the questions 16:25 that I would have during the session, 16:26 one of the initial questions is, 16:28 what was it that was in that chapter? 16:30 And begin to share with me the things in the chapter 16:33 that has caused him to begin 16:35 to feel the way he does and if that causes his trauma. 16:38 Would you... 16:40 any other input on that? 16:42 What would you guys do? 16:43 No, that's a place to start 16:45 because he's got a God who cares deeply 16:47 but is powerless to stop anything. 16:50 And I would want to bring out that balance of, you know, 16:53 we live in a fallen world, 16:55 and that paradox of living in a fallen world 16:57 with a God that sovereign. 16:59 And there's a difference between 17:00 God allowing evil or suffering, 17:03 and God willing it. 17:04 Some people actually believe 17:05 everything that happens is God's will. 17:07 It's not God's will anybody gets raped today. 17:08 I work a lot of these victims, it's not God's will. 17:11 He didn't finagle things 17:12 and arrange things just for that to happen. 17:15 It was something he did allow 17:17 and some people have issue with that. 17:19 Why would God allow something, 17:21 and this is really where theodicy comes into counseling. 17:24 Because people's healing is 17:26 so bound up in their God concept, 17:28 how they see God, 17:29 and we have to try to get across to them, 17:32 the reality of who God is. 17:34 If we say to them, you know, well, 17:36 God couldn't do anything about it. 17:37 He loves you and he is compassionate, 17:39 he couldn't do any, it's an attempted fix 17:41 but it can actually cause another problem 17:44 which is a sense of chaos. 17:46 Well, this man reads about God and suffering 17:51 and he comes away with more symptoms. 17:54 They weren't there before. 17:56 So, I think an approach with him would be to find out 17:59 what his God concept looks like. 18:00 Absolutely. 18:01 Who is God to you? 18:03 What is your relationship with God? 18:04 Who do you see God is? 18:06 How do you relate to God? 18:08 Do you agree with the picture that you have? 18:09 'Cause he may not agree. 18:13 But the individual, 18:14 because it was his pastor saying this, 18:16 the individual being inclined to differed with the pastor 18:19 because we tend to see religious leaders 18:21 as knowing more than we do about God, 18:24 and so that would be something 18:25 he'd have to wrestle with this art. 18:27 Maybe pastor isn't perfectly balanced in his presentation, 18:29 maybe he is working through something of his own. 18:30 Absolutely. 18:32 You know, so. 18:33 If I got to know, 18:34 his picture of God and the negative thoughts, 18:36 negative issues that he sees as God, you know, 18:38 caring but being powerless. 18:43 Did Christ have those experiences? 18:44 Did he have a why question in his experience? 18:46 He sure did. 18:48 Jesus asked why? 18:49 And I tell people, you can ask why, 18:52 because Jesus is your example. 18:54 I've been told it's wrong to ask 18:56 why because your question is all 18:57 what you have got, 18:58 but I've got a Jesus in the cross asking why. 19:00 And I've got a Jesus according to Paul in 2 Corinthians 13, 19:03 who became powerless, 19:05 he became weak, when he was crucified. 19:07 He gave up that power 19:09 to experience that sense of powerless 19:11 that you and I feel when we can't stop 19:13 some of the bad things that happen. 19:15 When we have a child that's epileptic or has leukemia. 19:17 We don't have... 19:19 we go through this experience. 19:20 So we have a God who chose to give up power 19:22 to experience that sense of powerlessness, 19:24 weakness, helplessness, to identify with us. 19:25 That's right. 19:27 In empathy with us, that's right. 19:28 And speaking of trauma, 19:30 isn't the cross an incredible study of trauma? 19:33 Because here is Jesus on the cross 19:35 bearing the sins of the world as if they were his own. 19:38 And that's pressing down on his soul 19:40 which is as infinitely greater 19:42 than our souls as God is greater than us. 19:45 But still carrying that horrific trauma upon himself 19:49 and in the midst of that, 19:51 he says why have you forsaken me. 19:54 He knew the story of the plan of redemption. 19:56 He knew all the facts, 19:58 but he's not able to pull them up right now, 20:00 because his emotions are so overwhelming 20:02 that he just cries out from his gut, 20:05 why have you forsaken me? 20:06 And did he get an immediate response 20:08 to remove all those pain. 20:09 No, he didn't. No. 20:11 But ultimately... 20:12 And yeah, 20:14 he got God by praying 20:15 and bringing his question to God. 20:17 Guess what he got, 20:18 he stayed connected with God. 20:20 Yeah, and that's the key. 20:21 Pretty since everything truth, and safety, 20:23 and support through the darkness. 20:25 No, but what he did was he went to God, talk to God, 20:29 and kept that connection going. 20:31 How is he able to continue his trust in God, 20:35 even on the cross? 20:37 And I think, that is an important thing 20:38 to share with the individual. 20:41 How is Christ able to do that? 20:42 Well, he had this relationship with Christ. 20:44 Excuse me... 20:46 had this relationship with His father 20:48 that he ultimately played full confident, 20:52 his life in full confidence in the father saying, 20:55 okay, I'm in this suffering, I'm in this trauma, 20:58 but I'm gonna leave this in your hand 21:00 because you are the sovereign God 21:02 and you know best. 21:03 So he goes both, my God, my God, 21:05 why have you forsaken me? 21:06 And then like, David like you're saying, 21:08 into your hands, I commit my spirit, 21:09 so we see this faith in talking to God 21:12 when he doesn't seem present. 21:13 And then we see this surrendering to him 21:16 and trusting him in that situation. 21:18 Yes. 21:20 Very powerful, very good stuff guys. 21:21 I really appreciate it, 21:22 so you're going to do a recap of what we've covered 21:26 in this program so far. 21:28 So go ahead, Rob. Sure. 21:31 So pertaining to this case right here, 21:33 we are saying that, 21:35 we need to process 21:36 what this gentleman's picture of God is, 21:39 especially in relationship to Jesus on the cross. 21:43 And what Jesus went through on the cross 21:45 specifically was darkness, his pain, he could not, 21:49 he could not see the plan beyond what was happening. 21:53 There was just the darkness surrounding him. 21:55 So in a sense you're saying that 21:59 we can empathize with what Christ was going through 22:02 and God and Christ could empathize 22:05 what we're going through. 22:07 And in through that process 22:10 Jesus was staying connected to his father, 22:13 and he was trusting his father 22:14 even though he couldn't see the answers. 22:17 And so this helps this individual in particular 22:20 to begin to see that it's possible to trust in a God 22:26 without all of the answers. 22:28 Now, going back to the beginning, 22:29 we said that we need to find that sacred space 22:32 with individuals who are in trauma. 22:34 We need to give them 22:35 a chance to be able to speak their story 22:38 in a safe environment. 22:40 We've also talked about our bodies 22:43 that have they how did you put a body memory 22:47 and it keeps a pain inside of us somehow 22:51 that if we are not getting the trauma out, 22:53 if we're not sharing it, 22:54 it will be manifested in ways in our bodies... 22:55 If you don't stuff it. 22:57 Don't stuff it, exactly. 22:59 And so we talked about in Paul's case 23:01 how he actually confessed, 23:03 what he was going through in order 23:05 so that he could forget, 23:07 in order to move on with the future. 23:09 Absolutely. 23:10 But so, it wasn't just denial of the past. 23:12 It was as you said in the chapter itself, 23:15 He put it all out there 23:17 and he was telling the whole church 23:18 and God himself, 23:19 what was going on, so that he can, 23:21 this was his way of dealing with his healing 23:24 so that he can move on. 23:25 Looking forward. Absolutely. 23:26 So we need to get people 23:29 who are suppressing trauma 23:32 to the place where they're talking about it. 23:34 And we need to help people that are over talking about it 23:37 to get to the place where they're 23:39 actually moving through it and capable of moving on. 23:42 Now, this is where counseling comes in. 23:45 Because counseling is kind of a lost art among Christians. 23:48 You know, we kind of have this attitude 23:50 that if you just pray enough and read the Bible enough, 23:52 things go away. 23:53 But it doesn't always work that way, does it? 23:55 Sometimes having a human being work through that with you 24:00 can help you actually see what God is really like, 24:03 how God regards a situation. 24:04 Can put another pair of eyes on the situation, 24:07 so that, that person can call out 24:10 some of the things are going wrong 24:12 in your process of dealing with trauma. 24:13 I think one of the challenges 24:15 that people may have with coming 24:16 to someone for counseling needs is the idea that well, 24:20 this is my stuff 24:21 and I don't want it to be known. 24:22 I don't wanna share it, I'm afraid to tell it. 24:25 And one of the benefits of counseling 24:26 and something that may give 'em confidence 24:29 and securities the fact that 24:30 confidentiality is a part of the counseling process. 24:32 That's right. 24:33 That counselors are bound where... 24:35 I like to say that we're secret keepers. 24:37 Yeah. 24:38 And that's what we'll do. 24:40 We hold, we stand with you in your pain. 24:43 We hold the pain, 24:45 we hold the story 24:47 and we walk with you through it. 24:48 Just this week I had someone... 24:51 Just as we get someone 24:53 apologize for talking in a session, 24:55 apologize for talking about another person, 24:57 where there is an abuse situation that went on, 24:59 and I said with a counselor 25:01 there is different set of rules. 25:02 You're allowed to talk about stuff 'cause it stays here. 25:05 It's not inclined to go out 25:08 as it would in a regular social situation. 25:10 And there is a lot of shame that can happen 25:12 with a lot of past trauma. 25:14 Absolutely. 25:15 And so by us being able to be gentle with the client, 25:18 we can help them to be able to share, 25:23 and it's kind of takes a little bit away 25:27 from that shame element, when they're able to talk 25:29 and were able to extend grace and acceptance 25:31 and we're not, there is no judgment here, 25:33 there is condemnation. 25:34 It's an amazing process 25:36 that can happen like you're saying. 25:37 It's worth the investment, 25:39 people will often wish that it would just go away, 25:42 you know, that wanna put up a no fishing sign 25:44 and never pull it up again, 25:45 but then they find that the trauma keeps resurfacing 25:48 in body memory like you mentioned 25:50 or in various interactions they have with people 25:53 or they can't function well, or they can't sleep well, 25:55 and it doesn't just go away. 25:58 And so if you're in that situation 26:00 and you're struggling with the effects of trauma, 26:03 I would recommend that you seek out counseling. 26:06 It's been proven to help, 26:09 a good Christian counselor 26:11 can really help you see God better 26:13 and really ultimately put you in a position 26:16 where you're better able to connect with God, 26:18 so that you don't have to rely on that counselor forever. 26:22 So you know, I would encourage you, 26:24 if you're someone who has wrestled with trauma 26:26 or you know people 26:27 that have connect with a good Christian counselor 26:30 and try to move through that 26:31 because it's entirely possible. 26:33 And the Lord has told us, "fear not for I'm with you, 26:38 be not dismayed for I'm your God. 26:41 I will strengthen you, I will help you 26:43 and I will uphold you with my right hand." 26:47 God is by our side 26:49 and I believe that when I'm counseling people, 26:50 He's right in that session 26:52 along side of me with that person 26:54 through his Holy Spirit, guiding the process. 26:56 In fact, I always pray with my clients 26:59 and I ask the Holy Spirit to guide the process 27:01 and we pray at the end of the session as well. 27:03 Jen, thank you so much 27:06 for mentioning about the Holy Spirit, 27:07 because we as Christian counselors, 27:09 we have to be in tune with the Holy Spirit 27:12 before we come into session. 27:14 We have to be abiding with Jesus 27:16 before we get into that session, 27:18 so that we can be in tune with the spirit 27:20 and we can invite the spirit with each and every sessions. 27:22 Powerful statement. 27:24 Yes indeed. 27:25 So as we running out of time now, 27:28 we just want to thank our panel here 27:30 for wonderful comments on trauma, 27:32 and we just want to invite everybody 27:34 to come back again for a next program on, 27:39 yeah... 27:41 We look at more mental health issues, 27:44 more solutions to the common things 27:47 that plague us emotionally 27:49 and relationally in our everyday lives. 27:52 Join us for the next program of A Multitude of Counselors. |
Revised 2016-09-29