Participants: Yvonne Lewis (Host), Michael Carducci
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000012
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00:30 Welcome to Pure Choices.
00:32 I'm so glad you decided to join us again today 00:34 for another live episode. 00:35 We're here talking about 00:37 some hot and very serious topics. 00:38 And we're dealing with sexuality and sex 00:42 just so that we want our audience, 00:43 we want you all to be able to make pure choices. 00:46 Today, we have with us an exciting panel again. 00:48 We have my brother who's been with us 00:50 all season long, Pastor Alfonzo Greene, 00:52 who serves as a pastor at the First Church 00:54 in Huntsville, Alabama. 00:56 We have our special guest who's back with us again 00:58 for another episode Miss Sabrina Etienne, 01:01 who is currently a master's student 01:03 at Southern Adventist University, 01:05 and she's getting her master's in clinical counseling. 01:08 We have my brother here Pastor Michael Polite, 01:11 who is with us from Nashville, Tennessee, 01:14 the Riverside Seventh-day Adventist Church. 01:16 And then Michael B. Kelley, 01:18 pastor of the Mount Rubidoux Church, 01:20 all the way from Riverside, California. 01:23 And I am your host Pastor Seth Yelorda. 01:26 And we're glad to be here. 01:27 Now last week, we dealt 01:29 with a very hot and serious topic 01:31 along the lines of sexual abuse and molestation. 01:33 And unfortunately, these episodes, 01:35 these programs are too short for us to really delve 01:38 into a good discussion concerning these topics. 01:42 So we decided to bring back Miss Sabrina 01:44 to have her come back again 01:46 and just continue the conversation. 01:48 Sabrina, for those viewers who are coming in 01:50 for the first time, can you just sum up 01:52 what we talked about a little bit 01:54 last week with your story? 01:55 Sure. Absolutely. 01:57 Last week in part one, I discussed my story 02:00 of being molested and raped at 12 years of age 02:04 by a close family friend. 02:06 It started off as just someone touching me, fondling me, 02:10 and jesting to me verbally. 02:12 And then it progressed to a full out sexual contact, 02:16 intercourse involved. 02:18 And I was confused after that, 02:21 and I was angry at the person because I trusted him 02:24 'cause he first seemed like a friend 02:26 but then all of a sudden turned into an enemy 02:28 when he forced himself upon me. 02:29 And so I reported to my mother and my father 02:32 and to some close family members and friends, 02:35 and after that, we were able to take action as a result. 02:37 And so last week, we basically shared... 02:40 I was sharing with you all the fact that 02:42 most people out of that experience, 02:43 they suffer from confusion, whether it be sexual, 02:47 spiritual, mental, emotional confusion 02:50 where they don't really know where they stand. 02:52 And a lot of people, most of the time, 02:54 they find themselves or they find the abuse 02:57 really governing their lives without their knowledge of it 03:00 and they separate the abuse with their lifestyle. 03:03 And so they think that they're just making 03:04 conscious choices to live it the way that they want to, 03:07 but actually that abuse is kind of 03:09 governing their lifestyles. 03:10 And so today, I kind of want to discuss more 03:12 so how to get out of that 03:15 and what it looks like to get out of that situation. 03:17 And one thing I learned for me was that I shared last week 03:21 that between the ages of 12 to 15, 03:23 that's when I was a bit more reckless, 03:26 really reckless as a matter of fact, 03:28 and I was following friends and loved the attention of men 03:31 and things like that. 03:32 And at age 15, what changed it for me 03:36 where I no longer aligned myself with the abuse 03:38 by aligning myself with a higher purpose 03:40 was giving my life to the Lord fully. 03:43 And at the age of 15, 03:45 I found myself in a place where... 03:47 It's so interesting the word force, 03:49 I'll use it here in a sense, 03:51 but someone elder in my church said, 03:54 "You know, Sabrina, this Saturday, 03:55 you're getting baptized." 03:57 And I said, "No, I'm not getting baptized." 03:59 He said, "Yes, you are. You are getting baptized." 04:01 And long story short, he basically put it in my face 04:03 that I was going to be getting baptized, 04:05 and I accepted it after about 30 minutes 04:07 of a back and forth. 04:08 And I walked away, went home, and asked God 04:10 to change my heart and change my mind 04:12 and change my life. 04:13 And that Sabbath, when I came to church 04:16 and I was dipped into that pool, God changed me. 04:19 He began to change my tastes and my desires and my outlook, 04:23 and then He began, as we were discussing last week, 04:25 the process of healing me. 04:27 And it was a process indeed because my mind, 04:30 although I had victory in Jesus Christ, 04:33 He still needed to do work emotionally in me. 04:36 And one thing that we need to realize is that 04:38 if you were abused, the first step is Jesus Christ. 04:41 I can't give you anything else as a first step but Jesus 04:44 because the reality is that Jesus is the one 04:47 who has the key to your healing no matter how deep it goes, 04:52 Jesus can go down into that depth 04:54 and find a place, a source of healing in Himself 04:58 and offer to you there, 05:00 and so it starts off with Jesus first. 05:01 And I find that He's the one who kind of took me, 05:04 I mean, nights of crying 05:07 where I would literally deny some of the things, 05:09 it was just too hard to go back to that 05:11 so I would act like it didn't matter, 05:13 but I saw my life kind of following in the path. 05:15 Jesus said to me, "You know what, it's okay." 05:17 And He took His time with me. 05:19 And so Jesus was very patient with me in that process. 05:23 And I think about a story in John 11 05:26 when you think about the story of Lazarus 05:28 and Lazarus's death, and Jesus saying, 05:31 I believe in verse 4 or 6 that 05:33 "The sickness is not unto death but for the glory of God." 05:36 And often I thought about that story 05:40 pertaining to what happened to me 05:42 and what happens to so many others 05:43 when it comes to sexual abuse and you think about it... 05:46 and Lazarus, he actually did die. 05:48 He actually did die, so when Jesus said 05:50 the sickness was not unto death, 05:51 I said to myself, "Lazarus died, 05:53 but how were You going to use it for Your glory?" 05:55 And God was saying that the purpose of the sickness 05:57 was not for Lazarus to die 06:00 because there's a purpose for everything 06:01 that happens in this earth, almost everything. 06:03 You know, that raises a very good question 06:05 'cause I'm sure that there are some viewers 06:06 who are watching this and saying, 06:08 "Oh, you know, that sounds kind of fairytale-ish. 06:10 You know, Jesus came in and He rescued you." 06:13 But there are some people, I can imagine I've met many, 06:16 who they kind of blame God, you know. 06:18 They'll be like, "God, how could You 06:19 have let this happen to me? 06:20 You know, if You were real, 06:22 why would You let this abuse take place?" 06:23 And so they don't see Christ 06:26 so much as their source of healing 06:29 so much as their, almost, source of pain, you know? 06:33 'Cause I was a Christian and You let this happen to me, 06:35 so maybe it was an elder in the church 06:37 or a deacon in the church, you know, 06:38 or someone in leadership who took advantage of them 06:42 and so now they blame the church because of it, 06:43 and then you know of course they blame God as a result. 06:46 How does that, you know, even connect and resonate? 06:49 Those are some hard questions that I can say that 06:52 I asked God myself, and I found the answers in God. 06:56 And so as long as an individual is not seeking 06:59 for those answers outside of God 07:01 but is seeking God's face when it comes to those answers, 07:03 he or she is going towards the right direction. 07:05 But in the story of Lazarus, going back to that, 07:08 I believe Mary and Martha asked God the same thing, 07:10 asked Jesus the same thing, 07:12 "How could You let our brother die? 07:13 That was Your very good friend. 07:16 We sent word to You that this was going to happen to him, 07:18 that he was very, very sick, 07:19 but You still allowed him to die." 07:21 So they were looking at him like 07:22 how in the world could You allow this to happen. 07:24 But Jesus took their understanding 07:26 to a whole other level, which is what I'm hoping 07:29 viewers get from this is that 07:31 Jesus wants to take this to a whole other level. 07:33 It's not about how could You allow 07:34 this to happen, but evil took place, 07:37 and what I'm going to do is I'm about to take evil 07:39 and switch it around and turn it for good. 07:41 And so He says, "The purpose of it 07:43 is not unto death but for the glory of God," 07:45 that means the purpose of this situation 07:48 of the rape, the molestation, whatever, 07:50 I'm going to turn it around 07:51 so that I can get the most glory out of it. 07:53 And we find it in the story of Lazarus, 07:55 He brings Lazarus back up from death to life. 08:00 And God was saying to me, "One of the ways that 08:03 I get the most glory," God speaking, 08:05 "is when I bring what was dead back to life." 08:08 And that's how the world is able to see that 08:09 I am truly God. 08:11 And so when you think about your purity 08:12 that was taken, that was dead. 08:14 Your innocence. 08:15 Your innocence that was taken, that was dead, 08:17 things like that that were taken from you 08:19 that were dead, and God says, "You know what, 08:22 that may look and be actually dead 08:24 and been rotting for some time, but I can turn that around 08:28 and I can allow that to be a place of victory for you." 08:32 And so for viewers, I want them to understand 08:34 that God did not cause this to happen 08:37 but God can surely come in the midst of that mess 08:40 and turn it around and allow you 08:42 to rebound from the situation. 08:44 So you don't always have to align yourself 08:46 with a victim mentality 08:48 or see yourself as a victor in process, 08:50 in progress that God is taking you there. 08:52 A wounded healer. 08:54 A wounded healer, a wounded victor, 08:56 you know what I'm saying? 08:57 I want to go back a little something there 08:59 'cause I think there's something practical 09:01 that, you know, our viewers can learn as well 09:04 because a lot of times 09:05 we are looking at a lot of our people 09:07 who are watching, our viewers, 09:08 as those who, yes, are the victims, 09:10 but unfortunately, there could be some sort of 09:12 perpetrators in different ways 09:14 and might not even totally view themselves in that way. 09:17 So for instance, if maybe you don't mind sharing the... 09:20 maybe the age difference between, you know, 09:22 you and the individual, and then also a way 09:24 to get some folks to understand that, you know, 09:27 sometimes the things that are innocent 09:30 or they seem so innocent, you know, 09:32 and some maybe the words we talked about, 09:33 flirting and stuff, before, 09:35 you know, that thing actually, even if it's not my intent 09:38 to be a certain way but just getting used 09:40 to saying inappropriate things and doing inappropriate things 09:45 even if it's not to that level yet, 09:47 maybe plants the seeds to eventually get there. 09:49 I hope that makes sense what I'm trying to figure out. 09:52 To answer your first question, we were not too far in age. 09:56 I'll say it like that, weren't so far in age, 09:58 it wasn't drastic. 09:59 He wasn't my father's age or any of that sort. 10:03 Your second question, people do need to be aware 10:08 that it can start off very innocent, 10:11 and that's the whole point of it. 10:13 In my case, it started off innocent, 10:15 it started off very playful. 10:17 As a matter of fact, I mentioned in our last episode 10:20 that I would giggle at times when he would talk to me 10:23 in suggestive ways and try to touch me 10:26 because it was like a mystery to me, 10:27 what was unfolding, what was going on. 10:30 I didn't know what was taking place. 10:31 And so, to me, it was a sense of an adventure, 10:36 and it wasn't until later 10:38 when I actually was abused by him 10:41 in a sense where he forced himself upon me 10:44 did I take it into full perspective 10:45 and I said, "No, this was wrong, 10:47 all of it from the beginning." 10:49 Although something within me when he was actually 10:51 fondling me said that there was something wrong with this, 10:53 it didn't register because it just didn't. 10:56 I was young, it just didn't register, 10:59 so for individuals who are watching this right now 11:01 and may be in a similar situation 11:04 where someone may not have forced themselves on you, 11:06 realize it already that if the person is fondling you 11:09 and talking to you in suggestive ways 11:12 is taking them somewhere, is taking you somewhere. 11:15 And there's an end to that 11:17 that you don't want to experience. 11:19 You know, I want to kind of throw this out there to, 11:21 you know, everybody, having said that, 11:23 if I'm a young man, and obviously we know it 11:25 could go the other way with, you know, a woman, 11:27 and I really don't have that intention in my mind 11:32 of eventually trying to force myself. 11:33 Do you think the more that we're inappropriate 11:37 even with what we say 11:39 and knowing someone's uncomfortable 11:41 but we're still saying it, 11:42 and even if we're not saying like the cuss words 11:44 to the individuals but just that idea of just 11:47 you're not comfortable with something, 11:49 I keep doing it, does that bring something 11:52 out as it draws closer? 11:53 I wonder what... 11:55 'Cause I think there are some cases 11:56 when they're doing that, you know. 11:57 Yeah, it's a general lack of respect 11:59 for somebody else, and it may be manifested 12:02 in a small way where it's just... 12:07 I guess nothing is really insignificant 12:09 but it hasn't escalated to forcing upon them 12:13 physically upon oneself yet, but all that, 12:16 it's the same principle, it's the same root. 12:19 And the root is a general lack of respect for somebody else. 12:23 And eventually, if you don't curtail that, 12:27 as we can see here, it can eventually manifest itself 12:30 into something even more serious 12:32 than just words but actual physical actions. 12:36 In my church right now, one of the major things 12:39 we're dealing with in our youth ministry area 12:42 are games, sexual games that are happening 12:46 especially at the middle school, 12:47 high school level. 12:49 I don't know if you guys are hip 12:50 to the current fad out there, 12:52 but it's different wrist rubber band colors, 12:56 so you may see someone walking around 12:58 with a whole lot of different rubber band bracelet 13:01 type of things and they're different colors. 13:03 But if someone takes a certain color off your arm, 13:06 that color represents a sexual act. 13:09 So if I see purple on you, now purple represents oral sex, 13:14 if I somehow get the purple off your wrist, 13:17 then you have to perform oral sex on me. 13:19 So that's an example of one of the games 13:21 that are out there that it's playful 13:24 but it has a force element. 13:26 "I got your rubber band, 13:27 now you have to give this for me." 13:29 So the games thing is something that's really hurting 13:31 a lot of our youth. 13:33 Yeah, just a quick question on that point. 13:35 Are there situations where young people are literally... 13:38 there maybe a group of guys forcing someone down 13:43 and taking the rubber bands off? 13:44 I mean, is that something that's manifested at all? 13:47 I know... 13:49 The only one that I've heard of is just two guys 13:52 who thought it was funny. 13:53 One guy holds the girl and then she's like, 13:55 "Oh, stop, stop, stop!" 13:56 You know, kicking and everything, 13:58 acting as if she's really trying to fight them off. 14:00 One takes off the rubber band, you know, 14:02 and there may be negotiations to where, 14:04 "No, you can't take that one, you can't take the green one. 14:07 I'll let you have the red one." 14:08 So the green one may represent going up your blouse 14:11 whereas the red one just represents 14:13 a peck on the cheek. 14:14 So they'll let them have the red one 14:16 because I'm comfortable with doing that. 14:18 So it's almost like taking this abuse environment 14:21 and turning it into a friendly game 14:24 that I believe does plant seeds 14:27 for especially young men who are having fun 14:31 kind of forcing these girls to do things in jest. 14:34 The message that it sends after, that's serious. 14:36 Eventually gets out of control, and that's exactly 14:39 where I believe in the spiritual warfare 14:42 where the devil wants us where we think 14:43 it's something playful, fun, and then you're out of control 14:47 because he takes full control of the situation. 14:50 And I believe when I think about my offender, 14:52 I don't think he meant to that day, maybe he did, 14:56 but in my mind I say to myself, "He went out of control," 15:01 and I think at some point, he felt like he had 15:03 some sort of control over the situation 15:05 where he stopped at a certain point 15:06 but he lost it, he told he lost it 15:08 and he pushed himself on me 15:10 because when someone's pushing themselves on you 15:12 when you say no, 15:13 they don't have control over themselves. 15:15 If they did and they were in their right mind, 15:17 they would say, "Oh, my goodness, 15:18 let me snap out of this. 15:21 You know, what am I doing?" 15:22 But they were losing control of themselves. 15:24 And so we have to realize 15:25 that something that seems so innocent 15:28 can lead you to a full-fledged perpetrator, offender 15:31 where you have no control of yourself, and so... 15:34 Which has serious repercussions, you know. 15:36 And I know that seems harsh, 15:38 but I think it's really important for, you know, 15:40 everyone at home to know that sin usually doesn't start out, 15:44 you know, let's just use the Garden of Eden, 15:46 it doesn't start out with you 15:48 taking the fruit to your husband, 15:50 it starts out with a very simple conversation. 15:53 And then before you know it, you know, it leads to that. 15:55 And that's why these small things, 15:57 they're not small. 15:59 I mean, nothing is small. 16:00 A perfect example of that I think, you know, 16:02 who was the serial rapist that was convicted, 16:05 was it Jeffrey Dahmer or... 16:07 He raped and ate people. 16:08 Yeah. Right, right. 16:10 Serious rapist, I mean, he was off the charts. 16:11 Like Ted Bundy. 16:13 Ted Bundy, that's what I'm talking about, Ted Bundy. 16:14 You know, I did a study on him and it really showed that 16:17 he started off with just, you know, soft porn. 16:21 You know, he did start off raping and eating people 16:24 and just going, you know, down that road. 16:26 It started off with pornography and eventually 16:28 pornography progressed and progressed to the point 16:30 where now nothing really satisfied him, 16:32 he needed something more, something more exhilarating. 16:35 And so it just goes to show that it always starts off small 16:39 and then slowly progresses. 16:40 You know, there's a quote that Ellen White has 16:43 in Patriarchs and Prophets, when remember 16:45 Caleb had then come back from... 16:47 Joshua and Caleb come back and they give the good report 16:50 and then the children of Israel want to stone them. 16:53 And I love what one of the quotes where she says 16:56 at the bottom of the page in that chapter, 16:57 one of those pages will be different depending on 16:59 which one you're reading, she says, 17:01 "When men yield their hearts to unbelief, 17:03 they yield themselves under the control of Satan 17:06 and there's no telling to what ends 17:07 he would lead them." 17:09 And it's just amazing to think that, you know, 17:12 we really don't know completely what we're capable of, 17:15 so even that small thing where you lend yourself 17:18 to something that's unlike Christ, 17:20 if it's unlike Christ, it is like somebody else. 17:22 And when he gets a hold... That's it. You're never... 17:25 Yeah, that's what I'm telling, we're out of control. 17:27 And we're out of control because... 17:29 When I say out of control, yeah, 17:31 'cause we're under control. 17:32 We're actually are under control, 17:33 but we're under control of somebody else. 17:35 You know, Sabrina, you said something 17:37 that I kind of want to go back to. 17:38 You said that some people, they blame God, 17:42 and as a result, they seek for answers outside of God. 17:45 But you really advocated that. 17:47 Yeah, you can be upset with God but seek your answers from God. 17:50 Can you just say a little more about that? 17:52 I think that's so very important. 17:53 Absolutely. 17:54 The source of all life, health, healing, restoration is God. 18:01 As a counselor, I still advocate God, 18:04 although I know that counseling is very vital 18:06 to helping someone throughout that process. 18:08 Professional counseling. 18:09 Professional counseling, absolutely. 18:11 But your first step, 18:13 if you really want healing and wholeness 18:15 would ideally, ideally, 18:17 of course, there are other ways of doing 18:18 and then God brings you back to Him, 18:20 would ideally be God. 18:21 And what I find is that a lot of people, 18:23 they find answers to their healing 18:26 outside of God, and so it almost becomes 18:28 a patchy work that's done. 18:31 And so I found that God allowed a complete work 18:34 to be done in my life although there's still memories there 18:37 but He allowed a complete work to be done 18:39 because He began it and He's perfecting it now 18:42 and He's completing it. 18:43 In your situation specifically, you said, you know, 18:46 God will be glorified, you know, 18:48 all things work together for good, for God's glory, 18:51 what does God being glorified, in this situation 18:55 that happened when you were 12, look like? 18:57 Good question. 18:59 What does God being glorified look like? 19:00 'Cause someone can say, you know, 19:01 "How could God get glory from this? 19:03 I was raped by, you know, my brother or my father 19:05 or my mother whomever, my aunt, she molested me, 19:08 so, you know, I don't see 19:10 how God can get glory from this." 19:12 You know, I actually have thought about that before. 19:15 Now that you ask, several years ago 19:18 when I was at Oakwood University, 19:20 I thought to myself 19:22 when I was ashamed of what had happened to me 19:24 and I was secretive about it 19:26 and my close girlfriends didn't know about it. 19:28 I said, "God, I believe that You have a ministry for me, 19:31 but how in the world can You use this?" 19:34 I mean, this just seems like you just keep it under wraps 19:37 and you just go about your business, 19:39 and then God really began to work on my heart 19:41 and showed me that this was... 19:43 I know that this was inflicted to me by the enemy 19:46 but God is going to use it not only to bring me 19:48 spiritual wholeness and healing 19:50 but to help others to get up out of that situation as well 19:53 or to help prevent those situations 19:55 from taking place for others. 19:56 And so, for me, that whole idea of helping others with my story 20:02 is how I see God getting the most glory out of it. 20:07 I'm sorry, I just think that... 20:09 I just was want to make sure we underline the fact 20:11 just to make sure it's clear. 20:12 Yeah, I think so. Just as far as, you know... 20:14 Just answering the question about God never intended 20:17 for any of these things to happen. 20:19 You know, and I think that it's easy for any of us to... 20:23 It's easy to blame God. Sin was... 20:26 I mean, we're getting theological here, 20:27 but sin was the choice of humanity, 20:30 and what God does is, in these terrible, 20:34 awful situations that we have chosen, 20:37 He somehow, someway takes those situations 20:41 and actually turns them around for our benefit 20:44 and for our good. 20:45 And so I just want to underline the fact for those 20:47 that may have experienced these very tragic things 20:50 that it was never God's intention 20:52 for these things to happen, 20:53 that the only reason why they were allowed 20:55 is because it's really the choice of humanity. 20:58 But what the awesome thing about God is that 20:59 He always somehow finds a way in His calculus to work 21:04 just the most horrific, terrible situations out 21:07 and use them for your benefit. 21:09 And that kind of confounds the enemy 21:11 because he's trying to destroy you, 21:13 but God uses it and it actually becomes a blessing. 21:15 And I think the text that speaks very much 21:18 to that story, Joseph with his brothers, 21:19 he looks at them, he says, "You meant it for evil. 21:21 You literally meant this for evil." 21:23 But, you know, God's going to make this for good. 21:26 And I actually like the Hebrew word there 21:28 'cause when you say meant, it's like, oh, well, 21:30 God meant that, but the Hebrew actually means He weaved it. 21:33 So it means you were meaning it 21:35 to be this way, but then He took it 21:37 and just made a completely different, 21:38 you know, pattern out of that. 21:40 The major key is, what Sabrina said earlier 21:42 about finding your answers in God, 21:46 when we think of how the whole sin issue happened, 21:49 the serpent was able to get Eve to start asking questions, 21:54 what would the story be like if it said 21:57 and she walked from the tree and went to God 22:00 and asked Him about it. 22:01 I think the whole story... 22:03 As opposed to asking the serpent. 22:04 Instead of trying to figure it out within herself, 22:08 figure it out with the serpent's help. 22:10 No, if she had just stopped and said, 22:12 "Well, I'm going to ask God about what you're saying." 22:14 And try to go to God. Right. 22:16 I think the whole Genesis story changes from that point 22:20 because God gets to speak for Himself. 22:22 Sadly, she doesn't. 22:24 And her trying to resolve it within herself 22:26 now she ends up hurting her loved one. 22:28 Bible says she takes the fruit to Adam, you know, 22:31 and we have counseled, we have talked, 22:34 we have heard and read about stories of people 22:36 trying to find answers to God questions, 22:40 questions that God can answer. 22:41 And in that journey, you just end up hurting people. 22:43 Yeah, that's a good point. 22:45 And I think that if we as in the ministry and counseling 22:50 that if we're going to believe in a theology where although 22:53 the devil is strong but God is stronger, 22:56 then we have to believe in the resiliency of man. 22:59 And resiliency means no matter what comes your way, 23:02 you can still come up out of that 23:04 with the help of God. 23:05 And in counseling, I always tell people, 23:08 "You know what, you can do this, 23:10 you can work this out," but sometimes 23:11 the self-determination and when you flip that now, 23:14 when you put God as the center of it 23:16 and God as the sole person responsible 23:19 for helping you and to bring you back to healing, 23:21 there's nothing that's impossible with God. 23:24 And so God can 100% bring you back 23:28 or take you to a place where you weren't before. 23:31 Going back to the story of Lazarus, 23:33 I love how when Lazarus came up out of the grave, 23:35 one of my favorite authors Ellen White, 23:37 she discusses how he came out with a countenance 23:39 that they had never seen on his face before. 23:42 So Lazarus's life almost seemed better 23:44 after death through Christ. 23:47 It was more whole, more beautiful 23:50 after death through Christ. 23:51 So it's like God can give you a life 23:54 that is even more abundant if you go through Him 23:57 and allow Him to do work through you. 23:59 And so I would like to say 24:01 for those who have been victimized sexually, 24:03 this is not the end, 24:05 that was not the end of your story 24:06 and don't allow that to mark you 24:08 for the rest of your life. 24:09 Your sickness, your molestation, 24:12 your rape was not unto death 24:13 but for the purpose of God receiving the most glory. 24:16 Allow Him to do that and He's able to. 24:19 You know, let me ask this then, you know, 24:20 and I think this goes for everybody 24:22 'cause I love the answers that we're saying, you know, 24:24 going to God, giving it to God, somebody here is watching, 24:28 they've been in abusive situation, 24:31 what does that mean? 24:32 What is giving it God? 24:33 Is it reading my Bible more? Is it praying? 24:35 Is it attending more Sabbath school 24:37 or how does that happen? 24:39 What does it mean? 24:41 I'm going to add on to your question. 24:42 And I want to say what does that mean 24:44 for the 13-year-old? 24:46 I mean, that's major. 24:48 I do have a young lady in my congregation 24:51 who had a brother forced himself on her, 24:54 her own brother. 24:56 So when we say God is wanting to mean it for His glory, 25:00 she could interpret it as saying, "Oh, God's selfish, 25:04 so He allowed my brother to force himself on me 25:06 because He wants to get more props." 25:08 You know, she could really take that thing 25:11 and turn it on God, so what would be that response? 25:14 I think that when you talk about God 25:16 getting glory though, I think that 25:18 it's not in the sense that He did it to get glory. 25:22 I think that He gets glory in the fact that 25:26 in spite of what was allowed, what the devil tried to do... 25:30 You'll still shine. 25:31 He will turn it around where He was trying 25:34 to take a deathblow at you, and now, "Ha-ha-ha, 25:37 what you were trying to do to weaken this person, 25:40 I've now taken and allowed it to be their strength." 25:42 So practically, real quick, what does it look like? 25:46 For the 13-year-old, for a child, 25:48 even for a young adult who does not feel strong enough 25:52 to go to God independently by themselves, 25:55 of course, find someone who's a spiritual counselor, 25:59 who can nurse you back to God, to the place where you feel 26:03 strong enough to stand on your own two feet. 26:06 In my experience, I remember being baptized 26:10 and I did spend a lot of time in prayer to God. 26:12 And I see that God used my story or He allowed me 26:15 to have that process so that I can be strong enough 26:18 to share at some point, but I remember 26:20 spending a lot of time in prayer with God, 26:21 but I had to let someone know as well. 26:24 And in letting my mom know and letting my dad know, 26:26 I knew that they were behind me and had my back, 26:29 and so I had spiritual parents and my actual parents 26:34 who stood as spiritual parents for me to kind of speak to 26:37 about the situation. 26:38 So have someone to talk to. 26:40 Does that kind of answer what you're looking for? 26:42 I think a little bit, 26:44 I guess I wanted to even really dig further, you know, 26:47 is there, you know, like a Bible study, 26:49 do I get a Christian support group? 26:51 I mean, I just want that person watching to say, 26:53 "I go to God like this." 26:54 Well, I mean, what do you think? 26:56 I mean, we're running out of time, so I mean, 26:57 what would you say would be that... 27:00 Yeah, you know, I think one of things 27:02 I probably would say 27:03 is a combination of maybe all four, you know, 27:04 you need to spend time in prayer, 27:06 that doesn't necessarily mean on your knees, 27:07 it could mean yelling at God in anger. 27:09 You know, but at least you're in communication with Him. 27:12 I think it is you might not know what to read, 27:14 but, man, open up the scriptures 27:15 and you'll get to the gospels and maybe find yourself 27:19 in a youth group with other people to support 27:21 but something real practical so that you're plugged 27:24 into God the way because it seems like 27:26 very clear we believe that that really has made the difference, 27:28 so let's see how to get right into that. 27:30 You know, unfortunately, we're out of time. 27:32 As I, you know, just perceived 27:34 with your question and your answer 27:36 you know, I would say to those who are watching 27:37 that it's all about making a choice, 27:39 you know, that "The devil has brought this upon me, 27:42 he meant it for evil, 27:43 but I refuse to be a victim of this. 27:44 I'm going to let God get glory. 27:46 And I don't know how God is going to work it out, 27:48 but I'm going to trust You, I'm going to call on You, 27:49 I'm going to cry out to You, I'm going to depend on You 27:52 that You're going to work this thing out 27:53 for my good and for Your glory." 27:55 So if you've been in this situation, 27:57 our prayers are with you. 27:58 We want to visit with you on Facebook, 27:59 please come by and see us. 28:01 Go to Facebook, Pure Choices, shoot us your questions, 28:03 your comments, your feedback. 28:05 We would love to hear from you, and we'll be able to dialogue. 28:07 Come back and see us next week, 28:09 we'll be diving into another hot 28:10 but yet very serious topic. 28:12 See you then. 28:15 Yeah, that's a good question and I'm... |
Revised 2018-02-14