Participants: Pr. Joshua Nelson (Host), Jeanne Mogusu, Kean Baxter, Kimberly Pearson, Marquis Jackson
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000020
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned that some material may be 00:05 too candid for younger children. 00:39 Hello and welcome to "Pure Choices." 00:41 I'm your host Pastor Joshua Nelson. 00:43 I'm so glad you decided to join us 00:45 because we have a good one for you today. 00:48 We're talking about how to get a mate 00:51 "Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Mo, Catch a Spouse by the Toe." 00:54 We're gonna talk about it how you're gonna do, 00:56 how you're gonna catch, 00:57 how you're gonna get somebody to marry you. 01:00 So before we go into the topic 01:01 I'm gonna introduce our panel for today. 01:04 We have my good friend, Jeanne Mogusu, 01:07 she is a graduating seminary student. 01:10 And actually she is the president of 01:11 the Black Student Association of the Seminary. 01:13 So happy have her here today. 01:15 We also have Pastor Marquis Jackson 01:18 who is the pastor in South Carolina, 01:21 the pastor of Berea and Maranatha, 01:24 Seventh-day Adventist Church. 01:25 Glad to have you here. 01:26 We also have Chaplain Kimberley Pearson, 01:30 who is the Assistant Chaplain at Oakwood University. 01:33 Good friend of mine. 01:34 And we also have Kean Baxter, yes, who is also a-- 01:38 he graduated already from the seminary, 01:40 a very educated young brother. 01:41 So we have a good panel today. 01:42 We are gonna get into this subject 01:44 and before we really talk about it, 01:45 I want to read this letter that was sent in 01:49 by a young individual, 01:51 and we want to read 01:52 what their question or scenario, 01:54 what their question is. 01:56 Okay, so let's hear what it says here. 01:57 It says, "I'm a freshman in college 02:00 and I've only dated one guy. 02:02 I'm told how pretty I am all the time, 02:05 but for some reason guys don't really 02:07 seem to be interested in me. 02:09 I don't think I'm ugly. 02:10 I do think there has to be something wrong with me though. 02:13 How do I get guys notice me without dressing skimpy 02:16 and overdoing it on the makeup and crazy hairstyles? 02:19 I want to get guys' attention 02:20 without doing these things that are just not me. 02:24 What should I do?" 02:25 So she's in need, 02:28 she wants to know how to get that mate. 02:30 So what would you all say to her? 02:33 One thing I will say is as a lady, your identity, 02:36 when you are comfortable who you are in yourself 02:39 that eventually will naturally pull. 02:41 It could be even good that you don't have 02:43 a whole bunch of guys trying to come after you 02:44 because if they started coming after you, 02:46 then it could start causing to have 02:48 different perspectives looking at different people. 02:50 But God will set someone in store for you. 02:54 But continue to be confident in yourself 02:56 and just rest in the Lord and just wait till He brings 02:58 what is best and suitable for you. 03:00 Okay. 03:02 Jeanne, as a woman, 03:03 what kind of words of advice you can give to her? 03:06 Well, first of all I would like to comment her 03:08 for not trying to get the men in, you know, 03:14 more traditional ways trying to dress skimpy. 03:17 Those are not the kind of people 03:18 that you want to attract. 03:19 You want to attract for a husband, 03:21 a very serious human being. 03:23 So if he is attracted to you 03:25 because you are dressing skimpy, 03:27 I would say that is definitely not a husband material. 03:31 You want someone to fall in love with you 03:33 for who you are-- 03:34 the essence of yourself of, 03:36 you know, who you are and not just because you, 03:38 you know, you dress skimpy or you look good physically. 03:41 Because those things wear off, 03:42 and you want someone for a long period of time. 03:46 And I'll also tell her, you know, 03:48 don't be too attached to the idea of 03:52 you want to have someone. 03:54 You know, you want to have your essence, 03:56 your value placed in much more than 03:59 just having someone next to you. 04:01 Yes. Okay. 04:02 That makes sense. And another woman here. 04:04 I'm gonna say, I think what Jeanne said is 04:05 so important that I think sometimes as women, 04:09 we attach our identity into having a man. 04:12 And, I think, society, kind of, puts that on us as well that, 04:16 you know, until you have a man, until you have a husband 04:18 you're not really a woman 04:20 or if you don't have someone, something is wrong with you. 04:22 But as a man it's okay not to have-- 04:24 Exactly. A wife. 04:25 It's cool, right. It's cool. 04:26 And so what I hear in that letter is that 04:27 she really wants to in a relationship. 04:29 I would ask her why. 04:31 What is the desire behind wanting to be in a relationship 04:34 and does she value herself outside of the relationship? 04:37 When we look at creation, Adam and Eve, 04:39 both had individual encounters with God 04:42 before they were brought together as a couple. 04:46 So has she had an encounter with God? 04:47 What is God's direction for her in terms of dating? 04:50 She has to know herself. Okay. 04:53 So just gonna kind of tell us out there 04:56 why do you all think it takes so much longer, 04:58 and it just seems to me it takes a little bit longer 05:00 for people to get married nowadays. 05:01 I remember my parents, 05:02 you know, they would have been married, 05:04 you know, I'm just now looking to get married, 05:06 you know, and I shout out to my fiancee Kimberly does, 05:09 you know, so I'm just gonna say that right there. 05:11 But, you know I'm just now getting married. 05:13 You know, and I'm 27, 05:16 you know, my parents they got married way younger. 05:18 So why is it now it seems that it's just taking people 05:20 longer to really get married? 05:25 There are, I think a lot of contributing factors, 05:28 the societal factors 05:31 we are spending longer in school. 05:34 It's taking more education to make a living wage. 05:38 As economy getting worse, it's harder to find jobs. 05:41 Okay. That's one thing. 05:43 The other thing is-- 05:45 if you go back to 100 years, 150 years, 05:49 humans were maturing very faster emotionally, 05:55 they knew who they were, 05:56 they were able to take on 05:58 responsibility at a younger age, 06:01 not too long after puberty, 06:03 few years they were able to find a job 06:05 and started a family. 06:08 But I think that 06:10 because of the degradation of society 06:13 we're taking longer to mature. 06:14 We don't know who we are. 06:16 We are in adolescence for extended period of time 06:19 till the 20s and late 30s. 06:21 Okay, let me go down to the economy little bit. 06:23 Okay, it's all right. 06:24 You know, also I'd like say too, 06:26 is, you know, um, there's a generation now 06:28 that is grown up to be very skeptical. 06:31 Seeing, you know, their families, 06:34 their parents be married 06:35 and they get divorced shortly after. 06:37 Then we also live the world of media-- 06:40 there is, you know, there should old days, 06:42 you know, that kind of black and white days TV days, 06:45 they used to have husband and wife 06:46 they'd be married and everything will happen, 06:48 the mother, the father, 06:50 the dog and a son and a daughter 06:52 and everything just went well. 06:53 Everything was perfect. Everything was perfect. 06:54 Yeah. They drank milk-- 06:56 they trained horses all the time. 06:57 Yeah. 06:58 But now the TV show that come out 07:00 you have the husband and wife 07:02 they always find out each other, 07:03 the children have respect for their parents. 07:05 And the generation now is watching these episodes 07:09 and the Bible says by beholding one becomes changed. 07:11 So when they watch it, it becomes part of them, 07:13 so this generation has become 07:15 even more skeptical of relationship 07:17 to see will they work. 07:18 Yeah. Yeah. 07:19 I think, though in terms of dating, 07:23 you know, we're trying to find a spouse. 07:26 I think, sometimes we get caught up 07:28 in the idea of being married. 07:30 We fantasize about it, like, you know, 07:33 women when we actually go out with a guy 07:35 we actually give you the time of the day. 07:37 We've already decided in our minds 07:38 you are probably husband material. 07:40 And so we've already, kind of, 07:43 pick you out and so we fantasize 07:45 what our last name would sound like next to yours, 07:48 and all those things. 07:50 And we romanticize the ideas, so much-- 07:53 Really? 07:54 That without it we feel like, 07:56 we are not whole, we are not complete. 07:59 There is something is wrong with us. 08:01 And so I just think that's very interesting 08:03 why as women do we do that? 08:05 Do we ascribe our value to being married 08:08 and is there biblical base behind that? 08:10 It's a question. Yeah. 08:12 I wasn't gonna answer that question. 08:14 But I was gonna say that 08:18 when you look at the ratio 08:19 of eligible young men and eligible young women, 08:24 it's in the men's favor 08:27 if you're gonna look at it that way. 08:29 It's easily, you know, 80 percent women, 08:33 20 percent men and sometimes, 08:35 you know, 70, 30 somewhere around there. 08:38 So because of that, 08:41 men are playing the field more especially 08:44 if there are women, 08:45 certain type of women who are in order 08:48 to get the attention of men 08:49 will dress a certain way 08:51 and allow the man to do certain things with the woman. 08:56 Sexuality getting, 08:58 physically intimate before marriage. 09:01 So these are other things 09:03 that are contributing to the fact 09:05 that men are just not, stepping up, 09:09 you know, being men. 09:11 Yeah, I'm so happy you said that. 09:13 They can praise that. 09:14 I mean, you know-- Yeah. 09:16 I mean there are a lot of options out there 09:18 so hey I don't want to-- 09:19 I want to able take advantage this 09:21 because it's there, 09:22 it's offered to me, why not, you know. 09:25 And that's really was happening 09:26 and it really goes both ways 09:27 because of the standards 09:28 that we as men may be are lowering ourselves to 09:31 and the women are also doing the same thing. 09:33 I truly believe that men still can lead the household, 09:37 they can still lead by their actions. 09:41 It is all about placing value of oneself, 09:43 I remember when I was in Cincinnati, 09:46 when I used to be in Cincinnati, 09:48 I used to transferring your gifts stuff and, 09:50 you know, when you get something 09:51 you just eat and you just-- 09:52 you don't really have that kind of appreciation. 09:54 But when you have to set aside money to purchase something 09:57 and when you purchase that thing, 09:58 you're going to take care of that thing. 10:00 I just bought a car some years ago 10:02 I'm still paying on my car. 10:03 I'm taking care of my car. 10:05 But if it is just given to me 10:07 then I won't necessarily have that much of value of it. 10:09 So if a young lady comes and she starts give herself 10:12 and most of the ladies started to give themselves 10:14 then it makes easy for men 10:16 to not put the value on the woman 10:18 which is not God required for us. 10:20 He calls for us even die for the woman. 10:23 And if I just pick you back on that 10:24 I would say part of the reasons 10:26 why women are throwing themselves at guys 10:29 is because society has given us values 10:32 that are not necessarily biblical values 10:35 and so you have men who looking for superficial thing in women. 10:40 You know, like they are I guess hip to waist ratios, 10:46 you know, and wanting them to look like models 10:48 when the reality is that your average woman 10:51 does not look like your magazine model. 10:54 And so those are not thing that make 10:56 for valuable long lasting life long commitments in marriage 11:02 and those superficial standards 11:04 are what translates into your marriage statistics. 11:06 That's why you have one in two marriages failing. 11:10 And so when people look at these things 11:13 they are skeptical about getting into something 11:17 as sacred as a marriage commitment. 11:20 You know, or they translate 11:22 or they bring those superficial standards into marriage. 11:25 That's why you have things like prenups, 11:27 I mean, you know, in biblical times 11:30 they did not have things like prenups because you went-- 11:33 not even too long ago, 11:34 you know in the 50s and the 60s you never really had prenups 11:39 as prevalent as they are now. 11:43 And so, you know, you are going into your marriage, 11:46 something as sacred as marriage commitment, 11:48 having kind of like a back door 11:51 and you wonder why people are divorcing 11:54 left, right and centre. 11:55 You have people who're married for 72 days. 11:57 And you're wondering, you know, and you're wondering 12:00 why marriage is not treated with much respect. 12:04 Because what you said, actually look at the title 12:06 "Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Mo, Catch a Spouse by the Toe." 12:09 We have kind of catch a spouse like you! 12:13 And you know, and yeah, especially as women 12:15 sometimes we have ascribed to this idea 12:17 that you see a man he's a good man, 12:19 you got to grab him, club him and drag him 12:21 back to your lawyer and, 12:23 you know and try to get him to marry you as soon as possible 12:27 because he might be the last ship. 12:29 You know, you better hurry up and grab this one. 12:32 Because there might not be any good men left and so-- 12:35 I see you are in your 30s. 12:36 Yeah, and I'm 30, you know, what I mean? 12:41 Call out. Right, thank you for call out. 12:43 You know, but I really believe that 12:47 if we take time to allow God to bring us a mate if you notice, 12:53 Eve was brought to Adam. 12:55 Adam recognized his need for Eve first 12:59 and too often times we're trying to go into marriage 13:02 before we've had some maturity 13:04 where the man recognizes I need a wife. 13:06 When a man recognizes that he needs a woman in his life 13:10 to help make him, you know, 13:11 better then he is ready to embrace the marriage. 13:14 When a woman recognizes 13:15 that she was brought to that man 13:18 then there is not that tension of fighting, you know, 13:21 I have got to marry you. 13:22 She is trying to, you know, you better wife me, 13:25 if you like you better put a ring on it. 13:27 Well, I have got to say this, you know, 13:29 I hear what you're saying Ms. Kim, 13:31 but I just feel even though 13:33 the options are in our favor as men 13:35 I do think it is still hard to find a good woman. 13:39 Now you could argue that it's also hard to find a good man, 13:42 but I think it's hard to find a good woman. 13:45 Hold on, say my brothers, would agree with me? 13:48 No. Yes, I have too, you know-- 13:55 But the Bible says, 13:56 "He who findeth a wife fideth a good thing 13:58 and obtain the favor from the Lord," 14:00 that's in Proverbs. 14:02 I have to go with Kim. Kim actually made my point. 14:06 I think the way that we approach it 14:08 often is very humanistic. 14:10 You look in the Bible, the examples, 14:12 God brought Eve to Adam. You look at Isaac. 14:17 Isaac's wife was brought to him. 14:20 And then when you contrast those two examples with Samson. 14:26 Samson what did he tell his parents? 14:28 Get her for because she pleases me well 14:31 and of course it was probably, predominantly physical. 14:36 So Adam and Isaac they aligned their will 14:39 with Gods and Isaac of course, 14:42 his parents were-- his father was involved. 14:46 Samson went against his parents. 14:48 He said, I like her I'm going after her. 14:51 So I think part of the promise we are humanistic 14:54 in the way we approach relationships. 14:56 Okay. 14:57 And I think also to when you look at, 14:59 you know, Adam had a job, Adam had responsibilities. 15:01 Yes. Jacob I think he-- 15:04 Hallelujah. 15:05 Amen. Amen. 15:07 Jacob was-- I think Abraham sent one his servant to go-- 15:11 I think Jacob was doing some stuff. 15:13 Then, you know, his wife came. 15:16 Samson was suppose to be function as judge 15:19 and he is leaving where he supposed to be 15:21 not doing his job and going out. 15:24 And so too many times it's challenging even for us men, 15:28 we have find it so easy 15:29 not to be doing our responsibilities 15:31 and just going for a pleasure for a season 15:34 and it doesn't built up or boost anything 15:36 to making thing better. 15:37 So as result we're now trying to keep on finding 15:40 different dibs and dabs. 15:41 And ladies on the other side 15:44 even though the numbers are 80, 20 or 20, 80 and 30, 70 15:50 ladies it's so important to continue to show yourself 15:53 and your identity and the fact of this, 15:55 if every lady shows herself and don't try to give up 15:59 as some people say the goody bag 16:02 or whatever the cookie. 16:04 If they don't that then there'll be 16:06 nothing for men to try-- have to get or try to go get. 16:09 That goes both ways. It goes both ways. 16:11 As long as-- I'm sorry you just did 16:13 but I don't want to miss the point, 16:14 because this along the same lines Adam was asleep 16:20 when God brought Eve to him. 16:24 Same thing-- well, Isaac wasn't asleep 16:26 but he was in the field meditating. 16:28 So he was in communion with God 16:30 so he was as a word, dead to self. 16:33 And he had his eyes closed and he had his faith was in God 16:37 to bring that woman to him. 16:39 Okay. 16:40 Samson-- get her for me 16:42 because I see her and I like what I see. 16:46 And this is the result we have. 16:47 So we need to depend less on self and more on God. 16:52 Okay, and I want to-- 16:53 it's really very good where we are here, 16:55 but I would like to challenge you all to be practical now. 16:58 What can we really do-- now the girl had this dilemma. 17:01 What can she really do? 17:03 Ladies, what can she really do to attract a man? 17:06 And men, what could-- 17:07 can a men do to really attract or get the right woman? 17:12 What are the some things we can practically say, 17:14 some advice for individuals, even for ourselves. 17:17 Well, among the first thing is you need sit down 17:19 and decided what is that you want to attract. 17:21 Okay. 17:22 You have to decide what it is you-- 17:25 make a list a grocery list whatever kind of list you want. 17:29 Biblically based look in the word 17:31 for what the Bible presents as a godly man 17:36 and look for those kinds of examples, 17:38 and then give it to God 17:39 and be a batch of Father's business. 17:40 What you're saying is 17:41 you are looking at more emotional, 17:44 more personality traits, 17:46 more character traits not just a physical. 17:48 Right. Okay. 17:50 There is this example 17:51 where one of my friends was saying that, 17:53 you know, she really likes carrot cake. 17:56 Because it's good for your, its healthy, 17:58 it's got carrot and nuts and all these great things. 18:00 But it always looks crazy, kind of, you know. 18:04 And then there sheet cake which is nothing 18:06 but sugar and flour and flour. 18:08 But you can design it and it's so pretty 18:10 and it looks all great and it's kind of, 18:12 like where are the carrot sheet cakes. 18:15 With the character, the great qualities, 18:19 but they are attractive as well. 18:21 But I think if you look for the character Bible says, 18:24 you know, man looks at out but God looks at the heart. 18:26 If you find somebody with carrot cake character 18:30 then the outside becomes more attractive to you. 18:33 I don't know everybody can identify 18:34 with somebody who was fine. 18:36 But their personality was like man, 18:39 and eventually the more you got to know, 18:40 then you are like-- 18:41 I don't want anything to do with him. 18:42 So I will say look for the character 18:44 and then be a batch of Father's business. 18:46 If you look at the women in the Bible 18:49 they were about to be their Father's business. 18:50 So I want to say, 18:52 I want to say so even if they aren't fine 18:54 you still got to go for they are fine? 18:57 You know, I mean isn't that trick to play a part. 19:01 I mean, come on Brother Kean, come on have yourself. 19:03 I appreciate what Kim is saying what you are saying 19:06 but I disagree with having a list 19:10 and trying to attract somebody. 19:14 You will attract who you are. You focus on God. 19:19 Just like you said earlier we have to know God, 19:22 we can't know our selves before we know God. 19:25 First of all Adam recognized God. 19:28 God formed him breathed breath of life into him. 19:31 Adam opened his eyes first thing he saw was God, 19:34 then he knew who he was in relation to God. 19:37 Once you have that and you, 19:39 God begins to develop your character 19:41 you will attract people like yourself. 19:46 So it's not a matter of trying to attract, 19:49 it's organic, it's natural. 19:51 Okay. 19:53 And Nelson, as you said that's a good point too 19:54 and what I would also like to add with that 19:56 is that when Adam-- 19:59 now you said when he was awaken by God he saw God. 20:02 I also heard of, 20:04 pope has said that for women he said 20:07 "grow so close unto God that when a man finds you 20:12 its like he is finding a God, revealed through you." 20:15 And so when Adam woke up after God says 20:18 it's not good for man to be alone and after Adam, 20:20 you know, named the animals and he put them to rest 20:23 and he took a blade of rib and Eve comes to him. 20:25 When he woke up the next thing 20:26 he saw was revelation through Eve. 20:28 And so now it's like that. 20:30 So ladies you continue to grow into God and men, 20:34 we have to grow into God as well. 20:35 So when it comes down to what marriage is 20:37 it's a function of God, husband and wife or man, 20:39 woman they become married 20:40 and they continue to grow closer to God 20:42 as they closer to each other. 20:44 And I would just like to add on to that 20:45 and just make it even more practical. 20:47 I would say for the young lady keep-- 20:50 find out how deeply rooted you are in God. 20:54 Because it's easy for, it's easy for us 20:57 especially as women to be so caught up 20:59 in the idea of being in a relationship. 21:02 We get to the point of we are in love with love. 21:05 And so, we are not necessarily looking for people 21:08 who will complement us in our relationship with God. 21:14 We just looking for someone to feel this void in our lives, 21:18 because we are created for relationship. 21:20 We are created by God, who is love 21:22 and by extension we crave that love. 21:25 And so I would tell her and for anybody else, 21:29 is figure out how your relationship with God is. 21:33 Let God be the fulfilling factor in your life. 21:36 And then once you have the down pack 21:39 then you can be able to say okay Lord, 21:42 me and You have that great relationship. 21:46 How about you feeling this other part of me 21:49 that is lacking, you know? 21:51 You're saying that a relationship 21:53 actually be an idol wanting to be 21:56 and the relationship could overshadow God. 21:59 Oh, it definitely because I know, 22:01 I know personally from my experience 22:03 is that there was a time when I would-- 22:07 it's like you think you have it right with God. 22:10 But as soon as somebody comes into your life 22:12 somehow you value spending time more with that person 22:17 than you do with the God that gave you that person. 22:20 And so, in that essence-- in that time, 22:24 you know that person does become an idol 22:26 and it's not until, you know, you recognize hey, 22:29 God has to take first place in my life 22:32 to the point where nothing else can tamper with that, 22:36 you know then I would say that is the time 22:39 when you're ready for a relationship. 22:41 When you are so grounded in God that nothing, 22:45 not a job, not a person, 22:46 not anything can come between you and your relationship 22:49 that would be the time I would say that you-- 22:52 And I want to say this and I appreciate what you said, 22:54 you know, but I'm thinking 22:55 about this whole relationship thing 22:57 and thinking about trying to find 22:58 or trying to wait for someone to come everyone say, 23:01 isn't it that fear that you're gonna have to settle? 23:05 You know, to settle for-- 23:07 which is because the statistics are, 23:08 you know, and may be God brought him to me 23:10 may be He didn't but maybe 23:11 just because someone came to me that I just, 23:13 you know, I got to just take, 23:15 take advantage of it because I'm right there, you know. 23:16 How you keep from settling? How do you define settling? 23:19 Well, I mean settling could be this was not my ideal 23:23 but I'm going to go ahead. 23:25 Again, I think that's, 23:27 the conventional humanistic way. 23:32 Any guy comes along, you know, 23:33 I take him because he might be the last one. 23:36 That's the confidence in what I can see what my-- 23:39 I can see around me my ability to attract 23:43 and to keep a man. 23:44 When you, what it is a shift from self to God, 23:49 there is no settling. 23:51 There is not even, you know, 23:52 you even lose the need to tell God what you need 23:56 because you know that God wants for you 23:59 what's best for you. 24:01 And even what better than what you want for yourself. 24:04 So you God-- you would understand God-- 24:06 you created me for relationships 24:08 and I know that You will fulfill this in Your time. 24:13 So I think that kind of-- 24:15 Okay but-- okay, that was good but I mean... 24:17 You know... 24:18 No that's good. It's good. 24:20 I just want to challenge you more because, 24:21 I mean, now I'm sitting here 24:22 and saying I want to find someone okay 24:24 and I'm going to wait for God, 24:26 but how do I really find the right one. 24:29 How do I, how do I-- you know, 24:30 because I could think that because this person is decent 24:34 that God has brought him into my life. 24:35 But how I really find the right one? 24:37 What are some things that we could do? 24:40 Well, one of the things that I would ask, is, 24:42 are you constantly keeping yourself in communion with God? 24:45 Because one thing that Bible has consistently shown us 24:47 is that God is in constant communion with us. 24:51 He is willing. He wants the best for us. 24:53 He's always willing to lead and guide 24:55 and so even and more so in a decision 24:59 that is as important as marriage 25:01 God designed for marriage to be life long. 25:04 And so, to imagine that you have 25:06 the rest of your days in front of you 25:09 God wants to be a part of that decision 25:10 and He will guide to the right person, 25:13 if you're willing to listen to, to what He has to say 25:17 and to surrender your will, you know, for His. 25:21 And what I think so great about suppose your will, 25:23 you know, the Bible talks about we commit our way to God. 25:26 He will give us the desires of our heart. 25:28 But the first part is committing our way, 25:30 giving ourselves to God and we become like God. 25:33 So, our desires become His desires 25:36 and His desires for us become our desires. 25:38 So as we get to know someone else 25:41 we desire what He wants. 25:43 So we are then allowed to come together 25:46 with not catch but meet, engage, 25:50 get to know the person that God has for our life 25:53 and I think that has to do 25:54 also with some self introspection, 25:56 examining your relationship, your parent's relationships, 25:59 looking at some of those different things 26:02 maybe they didn't do so well, 26:03 looking at the things that they did really well, 26:05 looking at what are you normally attracted to 26:08 are those healthy qualities, are those good qualities. 26:11 And really thinking, doing some self inspection 26:13 and that combined with getting our desires 26:17 align with God's desires 26:18 will help you find the right person. 26:20 It's not just jumping forward, getting wherever you want. 26:22 Like just where they come in front of you just like, 26:24 you got to actually think about this thing. 26:26 And if want to get the out come 26:27 that you want you got to really think about it, okay. 26:29 We use this scripture so many times 26:32 and in sad situations a lot of times as a pastor 26:34 people use and read it during funerals 26:37 but when we look at Palms 23 it says that 26:39 the "Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want." 26:42 And if we just come to the perspective of God 26:45 being a Shepherd, 26:46 as when I was little boy I used to even my dad, 26:49 you know, I be with my dad and you know my dad, 26:51 I'm taller to my dad now 26:52 but when I was little boy, my dad was like, 26:54 the tallest man in the world. 26:56 And everything he did, I replicated, 26:58 I tried to follow all the things he did. 27:01 So with those the situations, 27:04 I used to follow him and just trust my dad and if, 27:07 because my dad was like a shepherd. 27:10 In our situation we just have to look at God 27:12 and trust Him as we could to be in God 27:15 to know that He is a Shepherd. 27:16 And since we know that He is a Shepherd 27:17 and He is gonna lead us to the right place 27:19 that we don't have to worry. 27:20 We don't have to worry 27:21 because we know that God will supply all our needs 27:23 according to His riches and glory. 27:24 That's beautiful. 27:25 We are gonna wrap it up with that. 27:27 Bible does say, 27:28 "Whosoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing, 27:32 and obtaineth favor of the Lord" 27:34 and I think we can add husbands in there as well. 27:36 The reality is that God wants you to find favor with Him 27:39 and He has someone specially designed just for you. 27:42 And so remember, despite all the difficulties, 27:45 despite all the mess 27:46 that's going on in your life with the things, 27:47 its hard for you to find someone, 27:49 know that God has someone for you. 27:50 So that's our program for today. 27:52 Just you remember to make pure choices. |
Revised 2015-05-28