Participants: Pr. Joshua Nelson (Host), Jeanne Mogusu, Kimberly Pearson, Kory P. Douglas, Marquis Jackson
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000022
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned 00:04 that some material may be too candid 00:06 for younger children. 00:39 Hello, welcome to Pure Choices. 00:41 I'm your host, Pastor Joshua Nelson, 00:43 and we are in for another exciting topic today 00:46 for this program and I want to start out 00:47 by introducing our panel once again. 00:50 To my left, I have Miss Kimberly Pearson, 00:53 who is the assistant chaplain at Oakwood University. 00:56 And then we have Pastor Kory Douglas, 00:59 who is the pastor at Grand Avenue 01:01 in New Life Fellowship, there in Missouri. 01:05 And we also have Jeanne Mogusu, 01:08 who is the BSAS President 01:10 and a graduating seminary student. 01:13 And we also have Pastor Marquis Jackson, 01:16 who is the pastor of The Sumter in Manning district 01:19 there in South Carolina. 01:21 So we have an awesome panel 01:23 and we have an awesome and exciting topic 01:25 because this is a really important one. 01:28 The title is, "I'm going crazy waiting." 01:32 And we wanna say, just to start off that, 01:34 you know, none of us are sitting here 01:35 as an authority on this 01:37 because we all know we have made mistakes, 01:39 we have, we're still attaining to glory. 01:41 Amen. We crossed this angle. Oh, yeah. 01:43 And we praise God for mercy and grace. 01:45 But we just wanna open up the discussion of this thing, 01:47 knowing that we all are single, waiting, 01:50 if you wanna say waiting, 01:52 we're gonna talk about that also. 01:53 And in the struggle, that tension. 01:54 All right, so we're gonna start out by just reading a, 01:58 an email that came in for the show. 02:01 And as I pull up my... 02:02 iPhone 5. 02:03 iPhone 5 here. 02:06 I shouldn't advertise for them. 02:08 All right, here's the question. 02:10 So it says, or here's the scenario here. 02:12 "People always make it seem like 02:14 guys are so preoccupied with sex, 02:16 but I'm a female and I think about sex all the time. 02:21 Is something wrong with me? 02:22 I'm not going around sleeping with a lot of guys, 02:25 but I have been sexually active. 02:28 How do I control my thoughts? 02:30 They say it's better to marry than to burn. 02:32 What does this verse mean... 02:33 Even mean? 02:35 Do I need to just hurry up 02:36 and get married so that I'm not lusting? 02:39 I don't know what to do." 02:42 So open up to the panel. 02:44 What would you say to her? 02:47 I would first of all be curious as to what is, a lot. 02:50 She says she's not sleeping with a lot of guys, you know. 02:56 By her saying, she was sexually active, 02:58 I am assuming she is no longer sexually active 03:03 and I would, then I would go to the verse that she's quoted 03:08 because I really do believe that, 03:10 that verse has been used a lot by people 03:13 to perpetuate a fallacy. 03:15 That, you know, marriage is a cure for my lust, 03:21 for my sexual desires. 03:25 And I would, I would say, you know, 03:27 if you cannot control yourself now, 03:29 you're going to need to control yourself a whole lot more 03:32 when you're in marriage, 03:33 because then you've committed your life 03:35 to just one person, you know, for the rest of your life. 03:37 Right. 03:38 And so to think that just by getting married, 03:40 all these things will miraculously disappear 03:43 is, is a myth, at best. 03:47 I like the fact that she was honest. 03:49 I think we oftentimes have this myth that, 03:51 all guys think about is sex. 03:53 And all women think about is marriage. 03:55 And I'm not saying that y'all don't. 03:57 But, you know, women, we were designed with urges, 04:01 and feelings, and desires, just like men, and so, 04:04 it may present itself differently 04:06 but it's still there. 04:08 And so I honor the fact that she's like, 04:10 "How do I deal with these urges and these feelings?" 04:13 And, you know, one of the things I noticed, 04:15 she said that she's been sexually active. 04:17 And what happens is, you know, the Bible says, 04:19 "Do not awaken love until the time is right." 04:22 Solomon. 04:23 And so when you have sex outside of marriage, 04:25 outside of the confines that God created, 04:27 it awakens something in you that is hard to put out. 04:33 And then when you're bombarded by images of sex and music, 04:36 there's so many things with sex. 04:38 It's hard not to think about those things, 04:41 so one of the things I would tell her 04:42 is to check her environment. 04:44 Is she listening to music 04:45 that perpetuates sex outside of marriage? 04:48 Is she hanging out with a lot of friends 04:50 who are maybe engaging in sex? 04:51 Is she still dating guys or friends, 04:54 with guys who she's had sex with? 04:55 I would look at those things, you need to move yourself, 04:59 take a time out. 05:00 Well, I'll just say, you know, I'll be vulnerable upfront. 05:03 If she is like me, you'll need to stimulate. 05:06 You just, you know, it's just, it's just, 05:08 you just think about sex, you know. 05:09 This is something you want me to try really, 05:12 anybody doing that now. 05:13 You know, so, I mean, you know, so, I mean, you know, 05:16 sometimes people wonder, 05:17 "Okay, I have this urge, so is it bad? 05:19 You know, is it wrong to have this urge? 05:21 You know, and if I do have this urge to have sex, 05:23 shouldn't I just act out on it?" 05:25 You know. 05:27 We discussed in a previous, previous program, 05:31 episodes of program, the whole affect that, 05:33 you know, sex is a good thing. 05:35 You know, the urge is natural. 05:36 You know, we are made to want other people to be intimate, 05:39 that's what God has created us for. 05:41 One of the things that I think we should address though 05:43 and she mentions it and you mentioned it, 05:45 is that issue of control. 05:47 "How do I control myself?" is what she said. 05:49 And, you know, the question comes about, 05:51 how do you control yourself 05:52 and is it even your responsibility 05:54 to control yourself? 05:55 You know. 05:56 How do you go about doing that, 05:58 especially from the Christian perspective? 06:02 Like you were just saying as well, 06:03 I'm thinking about when Joseph went up, 06:05 Potiphar's wife came to him, and he's, you know, 06:07 he had a spiritual perspective, he said, you know, 06:09 "How can I do this against, you know, Potiphar, 06:11 and sin against God?" 06:13 And so it's like, when she, 06:16 in encouragement to the young lady 06:18 and also we're just encouraging ourselves as well 06:19 and say, in this procedure, we have to understand 06:22 and to pray that God will give us that control. 06:24 It is hard. 06:26 You know, sometimes you're gonna open a piece of candy 06:28 and, you know, you see the commercial, 06:30 that lady's scantily clad and says, "Oh, my goodness, 06:33 I can bring you back to that." 06:34 And we have to find, you know, I have to find, 06:36 we have to find ourselves in a perspective of saying, 06:38 "Lord, keep me 06:40 in the midst of a very heavily saturated sexual environment." 06:44 And so, like you said earlier, you know, 06:46 if it means to cut off the radio, 06:47 to some of the songs. 06:49 All of the songs that are just 06:50 kind of cut it to perpetuate, 06:51 because the songs do have 06:53 subliminal messages to it, so. 06:54 Well, I mean, you know, 06:56 and what you said was good about Joseph, 06:57 but, you know, and the fact is that, 06:59 Joseph said, "I do not want to sin against God." 07:02 So and that's a big component of it. 07:04 But, and many times, 07:06 especially our generation, we say, hey, 07:07 it's about what I need for myself. 07:10 You know, this is what I need to do. 07:11 I need to get, I mean, yeah, God, He still loves me. 07:14 I still love Him. 07:16 But, hey, you know, I'm not perfect. 07:17 I just got to get mine. You know, I got to do this. 07:19 You know, so that kind of seems to be 07:22 one of the big issues too. 07:23 Would you not agree? 07:25 I believe it is a big issue, but I think one thing 07:27 we need to recognize is that 07:29 of all the things that were made in creation, 07:33 we were the only ones made in God's image. 07:35 And I believe with that comes some sort of responsibility. 07:39 Of all the things, animals in the animal kingdom, 07:43 we, human beings are the only ones 07:44 with an innate ability to have self control. 07:50 When you see an animal in heat, 07:52 all it wants is, I mean, just be real. 07:55 To put the fire out. It is put the fire out. 07:57 It cannot control itself 07:59 and so it will, it will seek a sick, 08:02 you know, sick release. 08:04 And every other animal. 08:06 We are the only ones, as human beings, 08:08 who can actually, I guess, control those urges. 08:13 And we are not animals. 08:14 And I think sometimes, 08:16 with looking at how society has portrayed us, 08:19 as human beings, 08:21 we are literally portrayed as animals. 08:23 That, "Oh, I want this, so I gotta have it right now." 08:26 And we live in a fast food generation, 08:28 where, if I feel it now, I wanna have it now. 08:32 It's all about me 08:34 and that's not how we were created 08:36 and so it's no wonder 08:38 we are saturated with these desires 08:40 and we don't know what to do with them, 08:42 because that's the environment we've grown up in, 08:45 and we continue to perpetuate it. 08:48 But speaking of desire, you know, 08:50 I think about how do we control that desire, 08:53 we live in a society that says, 08:55 manufactures things that help us cure our desires. 08:59 We were made to crave. 09:00 We were designed with desire. 09:02 The problem is we try to solve those desires with, 09:06 so they say, sin. 09:08 Sin is a illegitimate means of solving a legitimate need. 09:13 So we have legitimate needs for intimacy, 09:15 but we try to solve them in illegitimate ways. 09:17 Illegitimate ways. 09:18 Like, I can be honest, like, 09:20 my love language is physical touch. 09:22 I like to hug, I like to cuddle, 09:24 like that is my thing. 09:26 And me knowing that, like, I have to make sure that 09:29 I don't put myself in a situation 09:32 where that desire is gonna get ignited. 09:34 But sometimes, as women we don't realize that, 09:37 it's that we'll compromise, 09:39 I want to hugged, I give up sex, 09:43 in exchange for some other legitimate need. 09:47 And so that makes it difficult, the Bible says, 09:50 "How can a young man remain pure? 09:52 By keeping my mind on the word of God." 09:54 So when you meditate on the word of God, 09:57 it tunes you back into 09:59 where to get your desires and needs met. 10:02 And that helps to kind of quench the fire. 10:05 Okay, so we have this desire. 10:09 We have to gratify ourselves, 10:11 but, you know, where do you draw the line? 10:13 I mean, is self, is trying to gratify yourself, 10:15 is that ever okay? 10:17 Is there ever a time, I mean, is there a cut off, so, okay, 10:20 well, this is going too far? 10:24 Well, there is a difference. 10:25 I mean, when you're telling about self, 10:26 there is a, I guess, differential four letter words, 10:28 love and lust. 10:30 When you look at lust, 10:31 lust is about getting what I need to get, 10:32 when I need to get it, as quick as I need to get it, 10:34 with whomever is gonna give it to me. 10:36 And lust, it builds that up. 10:37 But then there's also another four letter word called love 10:40 and what love is, is actually love is not necessary getting 10:44 but is giving. 10:45 And when you give of yourself, like the Bible says, 10:47 "For God so loved the world 10:48 that He gave His only begotten Son." 10:50 When God gave, it showed His love. 10:52 So in the context of a male and a female in a relationship, 10:58 dating, relationship, or talking, 11:01 whatever relationship. 11:02 It's the procedure where they are, 11:04 if they are in true love, their gonna love that, 11:07 they're gonna themselves to that other person, 11:10 themselves to hold back until this time. 11:12 Because we just said, you know, to wait until, 11:14 as psalmist said, "Do not stir up love until its time." 11:17 Because when that happens, 11:19 that could become very dangerous. 11:20 There's a whole lot of people 11:22 giving themselves to the other person, 11:23 because they love them 11:25 and they use that idea 11:27 of giving yourself away to love somebody 11:31 as a way of getting an illegitimate need met, 11:34 so it's kind of like, I love you, 11:37 so or you love me, you'll have sex with me, 11:39 or maybe not sex, but let's do everything else, 11:42 but sex, to show me 11:44 or show the other person you really care, 11:46 that you really love them. 11:47 We're meant to go and define everything else, 11:49 but go ahead. 11:50 Well, you know, it's like, 11:51 it goes back to what she said about, 11:53 "guard the avenues of your mind." 11:54 You know, the Bible says that, 11:55 "guard the avenues of mind." 11:57 And it also says 11:58 that we shouldn't make any provision for the flesh. 11:59 You know that while God is working on us, 12:01 we know He's changing us. 12:02 He can curb the desire, 12:04 but we shouldn't do anything to make the desire stronger. 12:05 You know, you don't go places that you know will tempt you, 12:08 you know, those, you know, okay, if I'm an alcoholic, 12:11 if I was an alcoholic, if I had to struggle with alcohol, 12:12 someone had that problem, 12:14 you probably wouldn't wanna go do ministry at a bar, 12:16 after you get baptized. 12:17 You know what I am saying? 12:18 Because you know I struggle with that. 12:20 So the same thing, I mean, the same principle applies, 12:23 if you know your desires are strong, you know, 12:25 don't go somewhere one on one. 12:26 Don't be in a dark room. 12:28 Don't go places that promote that. 12:29 Don't watch the things that you know 12:31 will bring up those desires in you. 12:34 Yeah, God has given us natural desire 12:36 but don't intensify that desire to the point 12:38 where you won't be able to control yourself. 12:40 And also the environments that we create around us, 12:43 you know, like if I'm a female, 12:46 I'm reading romantic novels all the time 12:49 that build this image within my head 12:51 of how I need to be with someone, 12:53 and he's gonna come and sweep me off my feet, 12:55 and he's going to do everything else, 12:58 you know, you know the romance novels. 13:00 You know, he'll ravage, he'll ravage you, you know, 13:03 and this list goes on and on. 13:06 And it builds this superficial idea in your mind 13:09 about what it is, what your values are to be 13:12 and so when you get into a relationship, 13:14 because you've filled your mind with these things, 13:17 you know, the romantic novels tell you, 13:20 the romantic movies tell you, the TV shows you're watching, 13:24 they're all telling you, how, how quick, you know, 13:26 into a relationship, 13:28 you need to get into all of these things, 13:30 then those are, that's what you're doing. 13:32 A normal TV show is what? 13:33 An hour. 13:35 In an hour, you've met the person, 13:36 you've had the say, you know, you've met a person, 13:40 you've introduced them to your parents, 13:41 you've gotten married, you have kids, 13:42 and you live in a house with a white... 13:44 You have kids and then you get married. 13:45 Yeah, you know, oh, yeah, you have... 13:47 Yeah, everything else, 13:49 so it kind of squeezes your perspective 13:51 to the point where, 13:52 when you actually get into a real life relationship, 13:55 you're expecting it to meet the standards 13:57 of your superficial relationship in your mind. 14:00 And those two don't go well together. 14:03 Okay, so, I really appreciate what you all have said. 14:06 Now going back to the idea of trying to wait, 14:09 trying to resist this desire, this urge, 14:12 whether it's for relationship, whether it's for, 14:15 just because I want to have sex. 14:18 Are there some other things that you shouldn't do or is it, 14:21 are we just talking about the intercourse, you guys? 14:22 I mean, are we just talking about, just having sex? 14:26 I mean, we're going there right now. 14:28 So what other things are included in this 14:30 "waiting period"? 14:32 I keep it real, I think kissing is a gateway drug. 14:35 I mean, it's a gateway for me. 14:38 You know what I mean? 14:39 Like, you know, you have to know what your, 14:42 or what things lead into an environment, 14:46 and so, you know, 14:48 for somebody holding hands might ignite that flame. 14:51 Start their engine. 14:52 For me, I can hold your hand and I'm like, 14:54 oh, this is sweet. 14:55 Once we started kissing, time to go, all right, 14:59 let's call it a night, thanks, have a good day, 15:02 'cause I already know, like for me, 15:04 that something that can lead to a situation, 15:08 that I don't want to get myself involved in, and so I think, 15:12 we have to understand that everything, 15:14 a part of intimacy is a lead in. 15:17 And sometimes what happens is, we get these lead ins and stop, 15:20 lead in and stop, lead in and stop. 15:23 And it creates these patterns 15:25 that are so negative physiologically, 15:27 and emotionally, and psychologically, 15:29 then we take those things into marriage. 15:31 So are those parts of awakening that love before it is time? 15:35 Yeah, don't kiss. 15:36 Okay, so, okay, so Miss Kim said, no kissing. 15:40 For me. For her. 15:43 What are some other things that you shouldn't do? 15:45 Now, we're not just talking about 15:47 with someone else. 15:48 We're also talking about by yourself. 15:51 You know, I would say anything, 15:53 anything that if you were doing, 15:55 because we know all this in the presence of God, 15:57 anything that you're doing, that if you knew Jesus, 16:00 if Jesus, 'cause Jesus is always there. 16:02 You know, if you knew, 16:04 if you saw Him physically there, 16:05 you would not feel comfortable doing in front of Him. 16:08 I would say, you need to shut that thing down, 16:11 because that in itself, the fact that you're, 16:13 'cause we've already talked about it, 16:16 God is one who invented sex. 16:18 He's the one who created it. 16:19 We are created for relationship. 16:20 And so if the person who gave me this gift 16:23 will not appreciate me using the gift in the way 16:26 that I'm using it, 16:27 then that in and of itself would convey to me the fact 16:31 that I'm not doing right by them, you know. 16:34 That's a good point. 16:35 And as you were saying, with self, 16:38 sounds like you were saying something about self, 16:40 that's even more ultimately, 16:42 even more of a situation as dangerous 16:44 because, if someone's saying that they're loving 16:48 and they're trying to have sex with a female, 16:50 or female with a guy, 16:52 or a person who is having, who is doing masturbation, 16:54 is having sex with themselves. 16:56 And it's very, it's a selfish situation, 16:58 it's something that God did not create. 17:00 If we can look at it, we have to look at the Bible 17:02 and the creation, that gives us a great example 17:04 of what God has intended. 17:06 And so for a guy or a girl to go to their separate closet 17:09 or whatever place they're at, 17:11 and to do whatever they're doing to self gratify, 17:15 it depletes what God is trying to do. 17:19 And so, and some people with their being by themselves, 17:23 it's very good to have a good someone, 17:25 a person who you can be accountable to. 17:28 And that's where it comes out be invulnerable, 17:31 spiritually intimate with someone. 17:33 Not saying, you know, you know, and that kind of manner 17:35 but, a way of saying to someone that I'm struggling, 17:38 I need you to pray for me. 17:40 So we can have each other's back. 17:41 Like the Bible says real quickly, 17:43 it says "Two, two are better 17:45 but a cord of three is not easily broken." 17:47 When we can get that, 17:48 two people have each other's back 17:49 and then God comes down, 17:51 then you can really be in a situation 17:52 where you're not being broken. 17:54 You know what? 17:55 I wanna take it a step further, 17:56 because there's still other stuff out there 17:58 we have not mentioned, you know, 17:59 we did try to define sex earlier, 18:02 and I think we had defined it as penetration, you know, 18:04 penis to vagina, well, the case is, 18:06 now I will say that if either sexual organ is involved, 18:11 it's a sexual experience, 18:12 'cause you're gonna have people who say, "Well, I'm waiting, 18:15 but I'm not having sex. 18:16 You know, I might perform oral sex. 18:18 Or, you know, there is other things out there as well." 18:20 You know what I'm saying? 18:21 And I think that if those organs are involved at all, 18:24 you know what I'm saying? 18:25 Then you should stay away from that as well. 18:28 And can I just speak back. 18:29 I kind of wanna take it back a little bit. 18:31 I don't, to the concept to be that, 18:32 I think that kissing is bad or kissing is wrong. 18:36 I think that the intention needs to be there. 18:39 What is the intention behind you kissing this person? 18:42 You know what I mean? 18:44 And, you know, we have nice little terms make out 18:45 and all those different things, 18:47 but what is the intention behind it? 18:49 What is it supposed to be leading up to? 18:51 What is it leading to? 18:52 And I think that's where we have to kind of 18:54 define things, 18:55 'cause I don't want to get the idea 18:57 that it's bad or it's wrong, which is part of the issue. 19:00 We put all these bad notties 19:01 or taboos on it, 19:03 it's just a matter of really discussing it 19:04 and understanding, how does that work for me? 19:07 How does that work for you? 19:08 And who am I accountable to? 19:10 And I think there's another thing too, 19:11 I mean, in relationships, we're not saying, you know, 19:14 we're trying to be purer, you know, 19:15 we're just kind of going with the flow, 19:17 seeing what happens 19:18 but it really should be upfront, 19:20 okay, we're both Christians, 19:21 how are we really gonna address this thing? 19:22 You know, and also we're just in kind of thinking with, 19:24 the title, this, "I'm going crazy waiting." 19:27 Let's talk about that issue of what are we waiting for? 19:30 You know, are we waiting for marriage? 19:33 Waiting just to be able to have sex? 19:34 I mean, what are we waiting for? 19:36 And is there really a guarantee you will get married? 19:40 When I was a child, I remember my great aunt, 19:43 she brought me a toy for Christmas, 19:45 and I was so excited to open that toy. 19:47 And she said, "No." 19:49 It was like August, and she brought me a toy. 19:51 And, you know, I'm like saying, I'm just frustrated. 19:54 Because I'm waiting for her, for Christmas to come. 19:57 And I know when I was young as a child, 19:59 days went by whole lot longer than the way they go by now. 20:02 So I was sitting there day by day, 20:05 counting down till Christmas came, 20:07 and then, four months or so came, 20:10 and I was finally able to open that gift. 20:12 I was finally relieved. 20:13 But the problem was with that, I was so focused on something, 20:16 instead of doing what I have to do, 20:18 in between that time, 20:19 they didn't said me, I caught up. 20:20 so, with one person 20:22 finding himself having to keep on worrying about waiting 20:26 and when it's gonna happen, 20:27 they are depleting them, 20:29 depriving themselves of the blessings 20:30 of what God wants to give for them at that moment. 20:33 And they're missing the greatness, 20:35 that God has a store for them at that moment. 20:38 And a good question is, 20:39 what are you occupying yourself with while you're waiting? 20:42 You know, am I so, 'cause it defeats the purpose. 20:45 If I am so caught up in this idea of, 20:51 I am just waiting to get to, 20:53 just waiting to get married so that I can have sex. 20:56 You know, it's like marriage is not, 20:59 you're not gonna have sex everyday, all day. 21:01 You're gonna have to go to work, at some point. 21:03 You know, you need a job. 21:05 You have to take, you have either responsibilities, 21:07 before we, besides that, and so the idea is, 21:11 what are you occupying yourself with right now? 21:13 Is that all that is occupying your mind? 21:16 And if it is, then there's a larger problem at hand. 21:20 And you're probably not ready to marry, even if you weren't. 21:24 You know. Yeah. 21:25 And that's what that girl was saying too in the letter, 21:26 she is saying, you know, is something wrong with her 21:28 because she's thinking about sex so much? 21:31 You know, so and that's something 21:32 we have to think about. 21:33 I mean, is there, every time we say, okay, 21:35 maybe your mind is overly sexual, 21:38 you know, is that even, is that able to have... 21:41 Be sad, I mean? I don't think so. 21:43 I mean, you know, people think about sex, 21:45 it's something like we said, 21:46 you're gonna think about it. 21:47 Kind of go back door, I think, I think one of our promise, 21:50 is how we define waiting? 21:52 You know, do you define waiting as standing on a long line 21:56 waiting to get into the movies? 21:58 Or, you know, waiting to get into your favorite restaurant? 22:01 Is that what you define waiting as? 22:03 Because when you do that, 22:04 you're just standing on the line. 22:05 Waiting to get to the door. 22:07 Or standing, or as waiting, you know, 22:08 the journey from point A to B 22:10 that might include passing and doing other stuff. 22:13 You know, an example would be, 22:15 you know, when Jacob works for Rachel, 22:17 you know, he's waiting up, I mean, 14 years he waited. 22:20 He waited. Yeah, that's love. 22:21 You know, but when he's waiting, he's working, 22:22 he's preoccupied, he's busy. 22:24 It's not like he's not thinking about what's gonna happen, 22:27 wedding night with, you know, with Rachel, one of the cases, 22:29 but he has so much other stuff on his mind. 22:32 You know, he's working, he's doing, I mean, 22:33 he's preoccupied. 22:35 You know, and what is your waiting? 22:36 Is it just sitting around, tooling your thumbs like, 22:39 "You know, God, when are you going to bring him to me? 22:41 When are you going to bring her to me?" 22:42 Or is it, you know, let me work, 22:43 but let me also remember 22:45 that the experiences I have from A to B, 22:47 God uses those experiences to shape me into the person 22:50 that that person that I'm gonna be ready for needs to meet. 22:54 I just wanna say, 22:55 he waited seven years and then he got, got married, 22:58 just in case somebody wanted to know on the show. 23:00 But anyway he had to work another seven years 23:01 but, that's a good point. 23:02 Seven, fourteen. Yeah. 23:04 But, you know, also, in this whole issue of waiting, 23:06 I'm gonna let you say 23:07 when Jeanne finishes this on time, about this waiting thing. 23:09 Go ahead, go ahead. 23:10 Yeah, I'm gonna say that 23:12 with Rachel, with Rachel and Jacob, 23:16 the situation was that, he was, you know, 23:20 to piggy back on what you're saying, 23:21 he was preparing for her, you know, 23:24 so the waiting period was not, 23:26 we have this notion of our waiting period 23:28 is a dead period. 23:30 It's a... 23:31 Punishment. It's a punishment. 23:32 It's a season of barrenness if you will. 23:35 But if I, if I do believe in God 23:39 and have a vibrant relationship with God, 23:41 then I have to know, and I understand 23:44 that God has promised that no good thing 23:47 will He withhold from me. 23:49 You know, and that when the time is right, 23:51 in the fullness of time, He will bring, you know, 23:54 that person into my life, into your life. 23:57 Then I have to know that 23:58 my waiting period is not a period, 24:00 is not a dead period. 24:02 It may, others may look at it as a dead period, 24:04 but my hope is not in them, it's in Christ. 24:07 And so He has a way of preparing me 24:10 in this waiting period. 24:12 I know for myself, 24:14 I thank God that I did not get married 24:17 before I was ready, you know, 24:20 because, I recognized that God is still preparing me. 24:25 You know, I would feel, I, in Rachel's place, 24:28 I would feel sorry for any man who I would be, you know, 24:32 married to, 24:33 because he would be getting God knows what. 24:36 You know, because I would not have experienced 24:39 my period of preparedness with God. 24:42 And that is the important part, 24:44 we tend to skip over that and try to get into things 24:48 that we have no business getting into. 24:50 Okay, so, and as you said it very well, you know, 24:53 you said about the fullness of time, thinking about God, 24:57 and the fact that He waits. 24:59 He waits, I mean, He waited to... 25:03 Like Jesus coming, He's even waiting now 25:05 for Christ to coming in. 25:06 He's always constantly waiting, and as Christians, 25:08 I think we have to put aside ourselves 25:10 and recognize that, 25:12 Christianity is a religion of waiting. 25:15 You're waiting on Him. 25:17 It's never, it's not always immediate, 25:20 we're in this, this is battle still. 25:22 We're still in the fight. 25:23 We're still waiting, you know, 25:25 and that has a lot to do with the fact, 25:26 if we don't realize, 25:27 it has a lot to do with the selfishness 25:29 that we still really have. 25:30 You know, I love the verse In Isaiah that says, 25:32 "They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength." 25:34 And we always envision it as they that wait, sit down, 25:37 relax, chill, 25:39 but there's another meaning for the word, 25:41 wait, like a waiter. 25:43 So I look at it, as they that wait on Lord, 25:45 serve the Lord, 25:47 they that are ministering to the Lord, 25:50 shall renew their strength. 25:51 So while you're serving the Lord, 25:54 God renews your strength, 25:55 He'll give you something to hold on to 25:57 and you develop this intimacy with God, 25:59 you start to find out your skills and, 26:01 you know, you have time to learn and figure out 26:04 the things in your character that need to be worked on, 26:06 to not waiting on the Lord, but waiting on the Lord. 26:11 And what you're saying is so true, 26:12 came about the issue of waiting on the Lord, you know, 26:15 and really serving Him, you know, 26:17 you have to spend that time with Him. 26:18 And I was thinking like, how can you expect to find 26:20 the one that God has for you 26:22 if you haven't spent the time to know Him? 26:24 You know, you have to really get to know Him. 26:26 I think if I can just be open with my experience, you know, 26:29 I didn't really take the time to know God. 26:31 And so, I was now meeting people 26:32 who I thought were for me 26:34 but, they weren't because, hey, I didn't even know who God was. 26:36 And it was until I took the time 26:38 to really get to know Jesus for myself 26:39 and really have a deep relationship with Him, 26:41 my eyes were opened and I realized, oh, 26:42 this is the one for me. 26:44 You know, the girl that I am dating now 26:45 is the one that God has for me 26:46 and I just recognized Jesus in her. 26:48 Well, you now believe God can make it happen, 26:50 'cause he is God, you know, 26:52 if you are supposed to be married, 26:53 you're gonna be married. 26:54 You know, but at the same time, 26:56 this is why we shouldn't tell people, 26:57 you know, see that you're married and you're burned. 26:58 You shouldn't have to choose between the two. 27:00 You know, and you might solve the immediate problem, 27:02 you might get married 27:04 and your sexual urges might die down, 27:06 you know, at least, you'll have that one person, you know, 27:08 that you can, you know, act out all your desires with, 27:10 but, I can guarantee you in the marriage context, 27:13 you might face other issues, you know, that will come above, 27:16 because you weren't ready to get married. 27:18 So like Kim says, "Serve God, you don't get your charger out, 27:21 put your bow tie on, get your napkin out, 27:23 and serve Him." 27:24 "And then allow Him to enter, 27:25 work out His plan in your life." 27:27 Amen. 27:28 And that's a good way to end it out. 27:30 And that's where we end our program with today, 27:31 and I just wanna end just by reading Psalms 37:34, 27:34 it says, "Wait on the Lord, 27:36 and keep His way, and He shall exalt you." 27:40 And so I just wanna encourage everyone who is watching, 27:42 just to wait on Christ. 27:44 He will exalt you in due time. 27:46 So that's our program for today, 27:48 I know you enjoyed it. 27:49 Until next time, remember to make pure choices. |
Revised 2017-05-01