Participants: Wayne Blakely (Host), Lance Williams, Mike Carducci
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000043
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned that some material may be too candid 00:06 for younger children. 00:40 Hello, I'm Wayne Blakely from Coming Out Ministries 00:43 here today, your host on Pure Choices. 00:46 You won't believe 00:48 what we're going to talk about today. 00:51 It's amazing, you know, 00:52 I am so grateful to Pure Choices 00:54 to be able to reach out with topics of practicality, 00:59 and dealing with Christianity, 01:01 and helping us some who have struggled, 01:06 people who are looking for answers, 01:08 and Pure Choices is helping by giving us the opportunity 01:12 to share our own experiences with you. 01:16 So I open up the topic today of pornography. 01:20 I'm speaking with my ministry colleague, 01:22 Michael Carducci 01:24 and special guest, Lance Williams. 01:26 Thank you for joining me today, welcome. 01:29 You know, today, 01:32 there are some interesting things to be said 01:34 about homosexuality, 01:36 and actually, not only homosexuality 01:39 but it doesn't matter what sexual inclination 01:43 that you have, 01:44 I would like you to listen to the statistics here 01:47 about pornography. 01:48 Statistics are indicating that the pornography industry 01:52 is larger than the revenues 01:54 of the top technology companies combined, 01:57 and that includes all of these, 02:01 Microsoft, Google, 02:03 Amazon, eBay, Yahoo, Apple, 02:08 Netflix, and EarthLink. 02:11 That's a lot of money out there, 02:14 and that's a lot of captivity I would say. 02:17 Mike, tell me about the information 02:21 that you have researched and found out about pornography 02:24 and some more statistics that you actually have. 02:27 Yeah, thank you, Wayne. 02:28 One of the things that we have in Coming Out Ministries is 02:31 each one of our members, 02:33 Wayne included and Ron Woolsey who's also a pastor, 02:37 is we each have areas that it seems that our ministry 02:40 really not specializes in 02:41 but also addresses if you would, 02:43 and for me, struggling not only with homosexuality, 02:46 I struggled with pornography addiction. 02:49 And some of the statistics 02:51 that I actually use in my presentations is 02:54 the average age of first Internet exposure 02:57 to hardcore pornography is 11 years old, 03:00 15 to 17-year-olds having multiple hardcore exposure 03:04 to Internet pornography is 80%. 03:07 And this isn't limited to secular society, 03:09 this is inclusive of Christianity as well. 03:12 Eight to sixteen-year-olds having viewed porn online 03:15 is 90% 03:17 and mostly, while doing homework. 03:19 I've actually talked to a mother 03:21 who was talking about 03:23 how they've finally gotten a computer in their home. 03:26 And her son was on the computer, 03:28 and when he turned on the computer, 03:30 all of a sudden, there were all of these pornographic images, 03:32 and he was very young, 03:34 as a matter of fact, I think he was between 03:36 the ages of five and seven. 03:38 And he said, "Mommy, what's this?" 03:39 And she came over and realized 03:41 that whoever had viewed the computer 03:43 before her son turned it on 03:45 had gotten, you know, onto an adult website. 03:49 And here her young son was now exposed 03:51 to hardcore pornography at such a young age 03:53 even though the mother was supervising her son 03:56 on the computer. 03:57 So many times, when I speak at academies, 04:00 I actually will separate the men from the women, 04:03 and I'll talk to the girls separate from the guys. 04:05 And one girl was as young as six years old 04:08 when she had seen her first hardcore image in pornography 04:11 and the same in the boys group, 04:13 you know, a boy was six years old 04:15 when he had been slammed by pornography. 04:17 Man! 04:18 So what's amazing is that, you know, 04:20 the pornography industry knows 04:21 that the younger that they can get you, 04:23 exposed to hardcore pornography, 04:25 the sooner that they can make you a client. 04:29 So, Mike, let me ask you this question based on that, 04:32 how old were you when you were exposed to pornography? 04:35 I was actually about 10 years old. 04:37 My parents were divorcing, 04:39 and my dad had cleaned out most of his stuff 04:42 and my mother came across his Playboy magazines. 04:45 And, you know, it was in the '70s, 04:47 and everyone was supposedly getting kind of hip 04:49 and I think my mom thought it would be good education, 04:52 well, she gave me the magazines, 04:53 and even though... 04:57 I wasn't even sexual at the time. 05:00 I remember it being a taboo thing, 05:01 something that I couldn't take my eyes off of, 05:04 you know, the images to this day, 05:06 and I'm 52 years old, 05:07 I can still remember those images. 05:09 And, of course, she took them away 05:10 when I started sharing them with the neighbor kids. 05:13 But I remember that that was the first impact, 05:15 and then even later on, 05:17 after my father had become a Christian 05:20 and was an elder in the church. 05:21 My job at 16 years old was to clean his offices, 05:25 so I would go up to his office, 05:26 and I remember finding his pornography, 05:29 and I actually was using his pornography at 16 years old 05:33 while I was supposedly cleaning my dad's offices. 05:35 And all of this while he was, you know, upstanding citizen 05:40 in the Christian community. 05:42 Lance, how about you, how old were you 05:44 when you were exposed to pornography? 05:46 Same age, 10. 05:47 Really? Yeah. 05:48 And what was your experience like? 05:50 Well, the person that was abusing me, 05:53 he would look at pornography before he would do these, 05:56 you know, horrible acts with me, 05:58 and also my mother, when she would be drunk, 06:02 she would be so drunk, she would pass out, 06:04 and she had a sexual addiction, 06:05 and she would be looking at Playgirl magazines. 06:08 And so while she was passed out, 06:09 I would sneak in and look at them. 06:13 Wow! 06:14 That's just kind of, you know, these are indelible images 06:17 that are being implanted on such young minds 06:20 that it kind of lays a roadmap for the future, doesn't it? 06:23 Yeah, it truly does. 06:26 So, Mike, tell me, 06:31 how did it affect your relationships 06:34 as you began to interact with people on a day-to-day basis? 06:39 Did you develop a habit 06:40 or did you distance yourself from it 06:43 or did you sensed that it was wrong, 06:46 tell me about that experience? 06:47 I guess the way that my mom snatched those magazines away 06:51 when I started sharing them with the neighborhood kids, 06:52 let me know that there was something wrong with it 06:55 or something that wasn't acceptable about it, you know, 06:59 but this was the mid '60s. 07:00 And pornography wasn't as easily accessible as it is now. 07:04 I remember, you know, being with friends in a store 07:07 and finding the rack that had the Playboy magazines, 07:09 and we would try to sneak to watch it, 07:11 and, of course, we would run 07:12 when the store clerks would come by 07:14 and catch us, you know, 07:15 sneak in and peak or that kind of thing. 07:17 But it wasn't until... 07:18 I actually have become... 07:21 Actually before I left home, I was living with my mother, 07:24 I was probably about 14 years old, 07:26 and she had a roommate 07:29 who I also found hardcore pornography, 07:32 you know, this was actually people in the act. 07:34 And I remember, it being kind of gross to me. 07:38 It looked really ugly to me, you know, 07:40 but it still was like a train wreck, 07:42 I couldn't keep my eyes off of it. 07:44 But it was just really bizarre looking to me, 07:47 but it was still making, you know, 07:48 the inroads that pornography does. 07:51 So when I became an adult, 07:53 I remember, you know, part of my freedom, 07:55 I'd left the church, 07:56 and I thought, "Well, you know, 07:57 if God has rejected me, then, you know, 07:59 why deny myself anything that I want." 08:02 And so, I started purchasing pornographic magazines, 08:05 and then, of course, very soon after that, 08:08 VHS came out. 08:09 And I remember, even in relationships, 08:11 you know, we would use pornography 08:13 in the relationships as well. 08:14 But the addiction, 08:16 the hardcore addiction to pornography 08:20 probably started when the Internet came out. 08:22 And it was about 19... 08:24 I'd say '97 when I got my first computer, 08:27 and it totally engulfed my world. 08:30 I would be up until 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning 08:32 even in a relationship. 08:34 You know, when I would go back to my house, 08:35 I would be on the internet looking at pornography 08:37 until 2 and 3 o'clock in the morning 08:39 wondering how am I going to get up. 08:41 It had me in such a spell, 08:43 I couldn't turn that button off. 08:45 I even... I think... 08:47 My roommate who I was in a relationship at the time, 08:51 but I think she actually caught me a couple times 08:53 knowing what was on the image 08:55 before I would shut down the monitor 08:56 before she came around. 08:58 So, you know, what I did is 08:59 I just put the computer in my room 09:01 and then I had unlimited access. 09:02 Right. 09:04 You know, I, in my sexual confusion, 09:06 when I was about 16 years old, 09:09 I walked into a liquor store and purchased a Playboy 09:13 and brought it home. 09:15 I guess in hopes that it was going to bring 09:17 some kind of erotic attraction to the opposite sex 09:21 that I hadn't experienced in just my day-to-day experience 09:26 of just interacting with people. 09:28 And I remember that I looked at it 09:31 and at that particular time in the Playboy magazines, 09:35 there wasn't any really positioning of men, 09:38 and it wasn't... 09:40 Nothing was happening, there was no sparks, 09:42 no flare, no nothing, 09:44 but I was keeping it under my mattress 09:47 in my bedroom. 09:50 And to this day, I don't know exactly what happened to it, 09:54 but I wasn't the one that got rid of it 09:56 and nobody seems to recollect. 09:58 But I don't know that's kind of sad. 10:03 Have you experienced, either one of you, 10:05 pornography where you've gone to 10:08 knowing that it was seemingly wrong to you, 10:11 and so that you went about hiding your pornography? 10:15 Oh, yeah. 10:17 Of course, I would keep it, I would hide it. 10:20 I do want to say that, for me, 10:22 even though I looked at my mom's Playgirl magazines, 10:26 there was a long period where I wasn't looking at it all. 10:28 But I'll never forget, one day, I was on my way to work, 10:31 and I pass by a pornography shop, 10:33 and I'll never forget when I saw that pornography shop. 10:35 It just like, it just burned in my mind. 10:38 And the mind was saying, 10:39 "I have to go there, I have to go there." 10:42 And so, I went in there. 10:44 It was the first time I brought my first actually gay magazine, 10:48 you know. 10:50 And I'll never forget when I took it home 10:51 in the secrecy of my own room, 10:53 I opened it, 10:54 and it's like I could feel these evil spirits 10:57 just flowing in me, 10:59 and from then on, I was really, really hooked on this. 11:04 You know, Lance, sadly, 11:06 I also recall the recognition of the sex shops, 11:12 and to me, 11:14 pornography wasn't as major of a draw to me. 11:18 I mean, yes, the pictures were there, 11:20 and they were enticing, 11:21 but to me, they weren't enticing to the point 11:23 that I could satisfy myself 11:25 because I wanted the real thing. 11:27 And what I had found out was that actual sexual acts 11:32 were taking place in these sex shops, 11:34 and that became the draw for me because many people would go. 11:39 Well, it didn't matter whether it was night or day 11:41 because they're dark, and scummy, 11:43 and filthy, and dirty. 11:44 It's amazing to me 11:46 what Satan is able to impress upon people. 11:51 And recently, when I was sharing at a church, 11:56 a gentleman came to me afterwards, 11:58 and he said, "You know, 11:59 why Satan has such heyday with sexuality." 12:02 And I said, "Well, yeah, because he's, you know, 12:05 approaching and attacking our feelings." 12:07 And he goes, "Well, yeah, may be, 12:10 but something bigger than that." 12:11 And I said, "I have no idea." 12:14 And he said, "Consider how the angels were created." 12:18 And I suddenly got the impression, 12:21 "Oh, wow! 12:22 Here's somebody who has no clue whatsoever 12:26 about what it's like to even have a sexual organ." 12:30 And so, he sees how he can begin 12:32 to manipulate God's creatures 12:36 from any kind of degree of degradation 12:39 that you can imagine out of all the crimes 12:42 that are out there today. 12:43 I think sex crimes have got to be the highest 12:47 because he just sees how many buttons 12:50 that he can push with people 12:53 and just, you know, sit back and cackle and react to it 12:56 because he succeeded at taking the focus off of Jesus Christ 13:01 and putting it on self. 13:02 You know, Wayne, 13:04 it wasn't until Lance talked about the dirty bookstore 13:06 that I totally, completely forgot 13:09 that in my early 20s, in my first relationship, 13:12 I had a boyfriend that turned me on 13:13 to, you know, group sex in these dirty bookstores, 13:16 and that became the fuel, before the Internet came out, 13:20 like I was thinking 13:22 I didn't own that much pornography 13:23 because I was frequenting the dirty bookstores. 13:26 And they were frequent 13:28 and many living in Orlando where I was in my 20s and 30s. 13:32 And so, I found myself visiting these places 13:36 several times a week if not a couple times in a day. 13:39 It was absolutely like a kid being in a candy store 13:42 for the addiction and the drive that I had. 13:45 I had nameless and countless encounters 13:47 with people that you can't even imagine the filth, 13:51 and the shame as you would walk into a place like that, 13:54 and especially the shame as you would walk out 13:56 fearful that somebody may have driven by 13:58 that would see you 13:59 or worse yet that you might go inside one of these places 14:02 and see somebody that you know, 14:04 and this went on for me for 20 years. 14:07 Twenty years. 14:09 It's ugly, and I totally and completely relate to that. 14:12 I mean, I would spent entire Sundays, you know, 14:17 if you are sexually driven 14:20 and if you allow that to take you over, 14:22 you know that you are going to search from morning to night 14:25 to find the experience that you're looking for. 14:28 Eventually, it was the uglier the situation, 14:31 the dirtier it got, 14:32 the more drive there was behind it. 14:34 It was almost like a total sell out, it's like, 14:38 it wasn't enough that normal sex would satisfy, 14:41 now it was like with pornography, 14:43 it had to get deeper, and it had to get darker, 14:46 and the harder it was or the more... 14:50 Just the filthier the conquest was, 14:52 it was almost like, 14:54 it created even more of a drive, 14:55 it heightened the experience if you would. 14:58 You know, the hideous thing about this is that 15:00 this is something that we typically don't talk about. 15:04 And so, the sin that we hide 15:07 or the sin that is silent 15:09 becomes the sin of indulgence. 15:13 Mike, I think you know actually some statistics 15:15 about clergy involving pornography, don't you? 15:20 Well, the statistic is actually old now, 15:22 I think it's more than 50%, 15:24 but right now, the only statistic that I know of 15:26 it's 45% of Christian pastors 15:29 are actually addicted to online pornography. 15:32 As a matter of fact, there's a pastor 15:34 who's actually in Orlando now, his name is Bernie... 15:38 I can't think of his last name. Bernie Anderson. 15:39 Yes, Bernie Anderson 15:41 who has a book out about his struggle as a pastor 15:44 addicted to pornography. 15:46 You know, what's amazing to me is 15:48 now that I've come out of that 15:51 through the help of Jesus Christ and Him only. 15:53 Yeah, we're going to talk about that. 15:54 Okay, all right, so you want me to wait? 15:55 No, go ahead. 15:57 So, anyway, at my church, I just, you know, 15:58 I would get up in front 15:59 and say that I came from sexual addiction. 16:01 And what was amazing is 16:03 because this is such a taboo subject 16:04 in our churches, 16:06 I was approached by two men that would say, 16:08 you know, by themselves, they would say, 16:09 "Mike, can we go lunch?" 16:11 And, you know, again, 16:12 with my rejection of masculinity, 16:14 I thought it was like a multilevel marketing scheme 16:15 or something. 16:17 But we would go to lunch and they would share with me 16:18 that they struggled with online pornography addiction, 16:21 and their wives caught them 16:22 or the other guy, his wife had known for 35 years, 16:24 and she basically was putting up with it 16:26 knowing that he couldn't, you know, beat this habit, 16:29 even his children knew that he struggled with this. 16:32 And so, there were no resources, 16:34 there was no safe place in our church culture 16:37 to address this issue or to even create an atmosphere 16:39 safety for this men to get help. 16:41 And so, as they approached me, 16:43 we began a support group in my house 16:45 to address, you know, the onslaught 16:48 of this pornography addiction that they struggle with. 16:50 Right. 16:51 So this is how... 16:53 Now before that actually took place, 16:56 was there a time that 16:58 you were able to break this vicious cycle of pornography 17:03 for you personally? 17:04 Oh, Wayne, it was the hardest thing 17:07 I have ever had to overcome in my entire life. 17:13 I mean, as a matter of fact, you know, 17:14 images while I'm putting together a presentation 17:18 or even a sermon for my church, 17:20 I'll put in a simple search 17:21 for Jesus at the well with the woman, 17:23 and I'll have graphic hardcore pornography 17:26 come up in the images 17:27 that I'm looking to put in a slide. 17:29 And again, I have to absolutely bounce my eyes, you know, 17:32 once I realize what's happening. 17:33 And so, I can feel the pull, I know the draw still, 17:37 you know, men are wired visually, you know, 17:39 that's how we're turned on. 17:40 And so, you know, for men especially, 17:42 this is, you know, a very difficult issue. 17:44 As a matter of fact, one in three women 17:47 are addicted to pornography as well. 17:48 So it's not limited to just men. 17:51 And so, what I realized is in my own struggle 17:53 to overcome this, 17:54 you know, and God was gracious, 17:56 not only did He relieve me of that addiction, you know, 17:59 when I first became a Christian, 18:01 but then I also gave back into it again. 18:03 And you know what, the self-loathing 18:07 and the addiction seemed to be even stronger 18:09 and the desire for it, 18:11 but again, God was gracious again 18:12 the second time to address it 18:14 and to give me the victory. 18:15 And that's why I just can't help 18:17 but share how good God is to help us to overcome that. 18:21 Right, be passionate about the victory. 18:22 Yeah, yes. Absolutely. 18:24 Yeah, there is that draw that, you know, 18:26 as I think some people will stave themselves off 18:28 and because it is a secret sin, 18:30 you know, they're good for a month, 18:32 you know, and they've held out, 18:33 and then it again, it's like the Bible says, 18:35 it's about like the dog returning to its vomit. 18:39 And I think we should talk about this 18:41 what triggers it sometimes, 18:42 and for me, it's always been stress. 18:44 Right. Tell me about that, Lance? 18:45 When I didn't have a good day or I don't feel myself worthy, 18:49 I'm just down in the dumps. 18:51 Yeah, it's like I get this overpowering feeling 18:55 to go and look at it. 18:56 You know, for me, it was 18:58 whenever my masculinity was threatened, 19:00 that was a trigger for me. 19:01 I mentioned in another program that we had earlier that 19:05 whenever my dad would, you know, 19:07 my dad and I would get into it, you know, 19:09 it's like it would make me angry, 19:10 I felt inadequate, 19:12 you know, I felt like I was in competition with my dad. 19:14 Whenever it would attack those feelings 19:16 like I wasn't manly enough, 19:17 that was the first thing that I was driven to, 19:20 you know, and it was impulsive for me, 19:22 and especially because of, you know, 19:24 patterns when you repeat this over and over. 19:26 You know, there's this chemical 19:27 that gets, you know, thrown up into your brain 19:29 at a sexual release that takes a picture and says, 19:32 "You know, let's do that again." 19:33 It's almost like an opioid that's released. 19:36 And so, the drive, the habit was there, 19:38 and then, when the insecurities would come in 19:40 and the emasculation, 19:42 that right there was an explosive combination 19:44 that drove me straight to it. 19:45 Right. You know, this is... 19:47 Just talking about it, it's vicious, it's sickening, 19:51 and it's nauseating when you realize 19:53 that you're in that cycle. 19:56 Are there safeguards that can be put in place, 19:59 you know, as an adult, 20:00 you know, people who have full access to the Internet, 20:04 now it's on your cell phone, you know, 20:06 Satan doesn't care where he can get you, 20:08 but he's been able to get you in 20:10 more and more and more places. 20:12 Yeah. 20:13 Any safeguards that you guys can think of? 20:15 Absolutely, as a matter of fact, 20:17 there's many that you can actually get on the Internet 20:20 that called Safe Eyes, and what's another one, 20:23 Lance, that you can think of? 20:24 I can't think of anything at this time, yeah. 20:26 Yeah, I'm drawing a blank too. 20:27 But all you have to do is look up, you know... 20:29 Do a different search on the web. 20:31 That's right. That's right. 20:32 Yeah, safeguards from pornography, 20:34 and I know that there are some out there too. 20:36 I should have been a little bit better prepared 20:39 to mention some of those, but all you have to do 20:41 is Google or web search 20:42 for safeguards for Internet pornography. 20:46 But it goes well beyond that. 20:48 You're absolutely right, Wayne, it goes way beyond that. 20:51 As a matter of fact, that in my opinion should be 20:54 something else that you try after being authentic about 20:58 what's really going on. 20:59 You know, what is the definition of insanity? 21:01 Doing the same thing over and over 21:03 and hoping for a change. 21:04 So does it have something to do with decision? 21:06 Well, our decision, but I know that every time 21:09 that I got on to the pornography, 21:11 I mean, it was banging in the back of my head 21:13 that the Lord was saying, 21:14 "Mike, don't do this to yourself. 21:15 Don't slime yourself, you know, don't let this, 21:18 you know, keep you apart from Me." 21:20 And as I would hear that, you know, the draw or the pull, 21:23 like even the telephone would ring, you know, 21:25 and I would think, I know God's sending 21:27 that telephone call to keep me off the Internet, 21:30 not only that but the thought would come into my head, 21:32 why don't I call a friend, why don't I call somebody that, 21:35 you know, will help me through this time 21:37 that would pray for me, and eventually, 21:38 I've actually sent out texts to all the males that are, 21:41 you know, that are in my group or that I'm close with, 21:43 and I say, "Please pray for me, 21:45 I'm struggling, I need strength." 21:48 And so what's great is 21:49 I haven't experienced the shame yet, 21:50 but I'm definitely in the middle of temptation, 21:53 and by the power and the body of Jesus Christ 21:55 gathering around and I get text back, 21:57 "I'm praying for you, Mike, how you doing? 21:59 Stay strong. 22:00 You know, all right, get a phone call right away 22:01 and someone would pray with me." 22:03 Those things help, but there's an honesty 22:08 that has to be bridged, 22:09 and I can't even say how that leap comes, 22:12 but for men that are married or for men and women 22:15 that are in relationships 22:17 that they know that this is happening, 22:18 when there's a moment of exposure 22:21 whether it's your choice or not, 22:24 that gives you an opportunity 22:25 to finally come clean with it all. 22:28 And the beauty is as we give utterance to the fact 22:31 that we were addicted to this, Lance, 22:33 there's even freedom in that, isn't there? 22:34 What it does is it helps to expose 22:37 what's been hidden for so long, 22:39 and now, I finally have authenticity 22:41 and power comes. 22:42 So for anyone that's out there that's feeling the grip 22:46 or the control of pornography addiction, 22:48 the first step is just to be honest with yourself, 22:51 and then to cry out to God and say, 22:52 "Listen, I'm struggling with this, 22:54 can You help me?" 22:56 I tell you what, to me, 22:58 it starts with lack of intimacy. 23:00 That's right. And that was with me. 23:03 You know, myself it was so bad, 23:06 I couldn't even perform with a man or a woman. 23:10 And so, the pornography was what was... 23:12 That's what I would... I can control that. 23:15 You know, and so, I'm finding will it set me free 23:19 the more I get into intimate relationships 23:21 with men and women in a healthy way, 23:24 the power is broken. 23:25 Yes, yes, yes. Right. 23:26 And it's not sex that we're talking about. 23:28 We're talking about intimacy that isn't sexual. 23:29 Yes, yes. Right. 23:30 And, you know, for Lance and I, both being abandoned 23:32 by our gender parent, you know, and you with both, 23:36 what happens is pornography only fuels that inclusiveness, 23:40 that self-love because, you know, 23:42 reaching out, you know, 23:43 was so negative for either one of us, 23:46 pornography was a perfect fit. 23:48 You know, so what that did is that it actually kept it in, 23:51 it keeps you away from experiencing intimacy 23:54 and relationships with other people 23:55 and God designed us to be social human beings, right? 23:58 To be intimate beings 24:00 because isn't that what the trinity is, 24:02 you know, the Godhead. 24:03 Amen. Right. Exactly. 24:06 You know, I just feel convicted 24:10 to talk to you as a viewer right now. 24:13 Are you suffering? 24:15 Have you found yourself spending out of control? 24:19 Have you been hiding pornography 24:20 from your spouse? 24:23 Have you found yourself slipping out the door 24:25 and heading to a sex shop? 24:29 I want to beg you to come to Jesus 24:32 and get real with Jesus and to surrender to Him, 24:37 lay it down at His feet, 24:39 and ask Him for the help that He offers you, 24:43 and ask Him to cover you with His blood, 24:47 and to send Satan and his angels 24:49 far away from you, 24:52 and ask Him for the intimacy that He promises you, 24:57 and that whether you're a pastor 25:00 or whether you're just a worker in the public sector, 25:05 it doesn't matter who you are who may be suffering from this, 25:09 reach out, call upon Jesus, 25:12 and reach out to resources that may be out there, 25:16 that are out there for you, 25:18 involving yourself with the church community, 25:21 involving yourself with someone 25:22 who you can have accountability with. 25:25 In the church, you can get close to someone 25:29 and say, "Hey, I have this problem, 25:31 and will you pray for me, 25:32 and will you keep this confidential, 25:35 and will you walk with me through this?" 25:38 Do you have anything that you'd like to add? 25:40 Yes, you know, Wayne, there are powerful scriptures 25:42 that really help me. 25:43 In John 6:37 was implemental for me, 25:46 "All that the Father gives me, shall come to me, 25:49 and Him that comes to me, I will never cast out." 25:53 He also says that, "If we confess our sins, 25:55 He is faithful 25:56 and just to forgive us our sins," 25:58 and the best part, is He promises 26:00 to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 26:02 Now, this wasn't something that I claimed once, 26:05 but I had to recognize that 26:06 He was the faithful one, not me. 26:08 And every time I fell, I had to claim this 26:10 and again recognize that that would be help me. 26:13 He's still there to pick you up. 26:14 My favorite, "Let these souls in their helpless unworthiness, 26:18 throw themselves upon the mercy of a compassionate Savior." 26:21 And it says, "He that comes to me, 26:24 can never be turned away." 26:26 That was so beautiful for me because in my fallen state, 26:29 I needed that strength, I needed that lifeline 26:33 to help me realize that He hadn't given up on me. 26:35 Right. How about you, Lance? 26:37 Lord has helped me, oh, boy, you shall not need 26:38 to fight this battle, set yourself, stand ye still, 26:41 and seek the salvation of the Lord. 26:42 Amen. 26:44 But the bell is not yours, it's God. 26:46 And so when I go through these temptations stuff, 26:48 I run to Him, and He takes care of it, 26:50 I don't have to worry about it. Right. 26:52 And that was a big difference too. 26:53 Not understanding the maleness of God 26:55 and the goodness of Him. 26:57 You know, I had to recognize 26:59 that I had to run to the one who made me clean. 27:01 You know, in my fallen state, 27:02 I was afraid to approach God for shame 27:05 and rejection that I felt all along, 27:07 but I realize now that God wants me to thrive. 27:10 He wants me to come to Him, 27:11 and He will cleanse me and establish me. 27:13 That's right. 27:15 And you know that our fight as the Word of God tells us is, 27:19 it's not against flesh and blood 27:21 but against the powers of darkness. 27:23 Principalities, that's right. 27:24 I have to thank you so much, it takes so much courage 27:27 for you to be able to sit here 27:29 and be open with the general public about 27:32 what's your journey has been like, 27:34 but that you have found victory. 27:36 And as a viewer, I just want you 27:38 to experience the same victory 27:40 that they have found in Jesus Christ. 27:42 So I want to ask you again today 27:45 to make pure choices, 27:48 to let Jesus come into your heart. 27:50 Invite Him in today. |
Revised 2018-04-26