Pure Choices

Wise Women

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Joshua Nelson (Host), Dajanae Maxwell, Donna Kaye Scarlett, Kimberly Pearson, Traci Anderson


Series Code: PC

Program Code: PC000056

00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned
00:04 that some material may be too candid
00:06 for younger children.
00:40 Hello, and welcome to Pure Choices.
00:41 I'm your host, Pastor Joshua Nelson
00:44 and I'm glad you decided to join us today.
00:46 I'm here with all ladies today, we're talking about wise women.
00:51 And we want to talk about how women can stay pure.
00:53 But before we get into our
00:55 discussion and introduce our panel,
00:56 let's just pause for a word of prayer.
00:59 Dear Heavenly Father, we just ask that right now
01:01 Your Spirit would be with us and guide this conversation.
01:04 In Jesus' name we pray.
01:06 Amen. Amen.
01:07 All right, well, let's introduce
01:09 our lovely panel today.
01:11 I have my co-host here, Ms. Donnakaye Scarlett,
01:15 who is the director of Pure...
01:17 One of the directors of Pure Reality Ministry
01:19 in Miami, Florida.
01:20 And then over here, we have Traci Anderson,
01:23 who is from Madison, Alabama,
01:24 and she is the director or the CEO,
01:26 whatever you say, of her husband,
01:28 Jeremy Anderson's ministries and so happy to have her here.
01:32 We also have Kimberly Pearson,
01:33 who is the associate chaplain
01:36 at Oakwood University in Huntsville, Alabama.
01:39 And next to her, of course,
01:40 we have one of the students there
01:41 which is Dajanae Maxwell,
01:43 who is a theology student at Oakwood University.
01:46 So we have a great beautiful panel of women today
01:49 and so we want to get right into talking about this
01:51 and really honing in on purity when it comes to women
01:56 and how women should be pure.
01:58 So I'm going to start with Kimberly.
02:00 What does it mean for a woman to be pure?
02:04 We have lots of different phrases,
02:06 you know, keep the hands off the cookie jar,
02:09 you keep the kitchen closed, we have lots of,
02:11 you know, colloquial terms and cliches
02:14 that we use but, you know, I really think that being pure
02:18 is a mindset that dictates behavior.
02:22 I think purity begins with how you think,
02:25 how you view yourself and how you feel
02:27 and then it leads into how you act.
02:30 I think actions come from thoughts and emotions
02:33 and even sometimes our past,
02:35 by being able to process that
02:37 into how we present ourselves
02:40 as young women and young ladies.
02:41 Right, right, okay. Traci?
02:43 I completely agree it is a mindset.
02:47 I think sometimes we get,
02:49 you know, the two terms confused
02:52 as in being pure and then also,
02:57 you know, just sex in general...
02:58 Okay. I think.
03:01 But purity is also, you know, what you watch on TV
03:05 and keeping your mind pure.
03:07 It is keeping, you know, your heart pure.
03:09 It's not just keeping your body pure
03:11 but, you know, it's your whole temple,
03:13 your temple in general,
03:15 you know, from the head to the toe.
03:16 Okay.
03:17 So then let me ask you, in today's culture,
03:20 today's society, it basically,
03:23 maybe speaks a little differently,
03:25 so do you think that purity even has a place
03:29 in this culture and doesn't have a cost,
03:32 if you decide that you wanna stay pure?
03:34 I think it does, it's not the society
03:37 isn't providing a place for it
03:40 but there's still a place for it.
03:43 We as, you know, my generation,
03:46 we don't look at the ins and outs of purity.
03:49 It is when we think of purity, we think,
03:51 "Oh, well, I'm a virgin.
03:52 So I'm pure."
03:54 But it goes beyond the mindset.
03:56 I mean, it goes beyond the behavior
03:58 like what was stated before.
04:00 But purity, purity is how I conduct myself,
04:04 purity is how I...
04:07 The people that I associate myself with,
04:09 purity is what I put into my soul
04:12 and my body and my mind.
04:16 All right. All right, so what is the cost then?
04:19 You know, I honestly think that
04:22 the cost often times of our purity
04:25 is we sell our virtue.
04:27 And we sell it for acceptance and we sell it for soothing.
04:32 Because a lot of times, young ladies are hurting
04:35 and so in order to mask that,
04:38 sometimes can go above and beyond
04:40 in the opposite direction,
04:41 but sometimes the cost of purity involves,
04:44 sometimes being made fun of,
04:45 being seen as the outsider,
04:47 the strange one, the holier than thou one
04:50 and so it can come with being a social outcast
04:54 which is a very difficult place to be
04:56 when you are a woman going through that transition
04:59 into young adulthood and not feeling accepted
05:03 in your sexuality in a culture that's very overly sexualized,
05:08 very overly simulated.
05:09 Yeah, yeah.
05:10 And especially, you know, I was a guy, you know,
05:12 looking at the young men that I try to mentor on
05:14 and a lot of them are just going after the women
05:17 and really making it even uncool for them to resist
05:21 and not do the sexual acts,
05:23 you know, making them feel bad or even less, you know.
05:25 So what would you say to a woman
05:27 who's in that position
05:28 where all the guys are kind of coming at her?
05:30 It's expected in the circle that she rides in or whatever,
05:32 that she's supposed to just do these things,
05:34 even if she may know it's wrong or, you know, impure to do.
05:38 I believe that a lot of women know it
05:40 to be wrong like you said,
05:42 a lot of young ladies,
05:43 a lot of a young girls even because...
05:46 The people,
05:48 children are starting to be very sexualized.
05:52 Children are starting to look at men and like,
05:54 "Oh, they have muscles."
05:56 Or the young boys like, "Oh, they have..."
05:58 You know, very sexual even in elementary school.
06:02 And so it's understood that it's "bad,
06:05 " but it needs to be discussed
06:07 as something that sexuality isn't bad
06:10 but just the way that it's being portrayed
06:12 in society is bad.
06:14 And so having that balance first and foremost
06:17 but to the young woman, it's not necessarily...
06:21 She has to know who she is. Okay.
06:23 She has to know who she is first and foremost
06:25 because you can tell her all day
06:26 what you should and should not do.
06:27 All right.
06:29 But if there's no value that God has placed on her
06:32 because there's not even...
06:33 I need to have high self-esteem
06:35 and I need to have this high value of self,
06:37 it's not even just that,
06:38 it's I need to have value of self in Christ.
06:41 So without that in Christ, I can still be...
06:44 I'm nothing, I'm nothing without Jesus.
06:47 So, yeah, that's what I would say,
06:50 that's what I would try to get her to realize,
06:54 try to culture into understanding
06:56 that you are the daughter of Jesus Christ.
07:00 You are the daughter of the one
07:03 who created everything wonderful and beautiful.
07:06 That's who you belong to.
07:08 So now that you have that, that self value in Jesus,
07:13 now how do you respond to the young man
07:15 that try to come to you for sex.
07:16 So then how do you reconcile that with a culture
07:20 that historically is very violent towards women?
07:24 With a culture that objectifies
07:25 and says as we're talking about cost and place
07:28 and objectifies and as you're saying,
07:29 excellent point, but what do you say
07:32 when the saturation or the over saturation
07:35 of this culture says,
07:37 "This is who you are.
07:39 You're not even a person, you're an object."
07:41 Yeah.
07:43 I think that,
07:44 when you think about things like that,
07:46 you know, we look at,
07:48 you know, the media and the magazines
07:51 and we see these supermodels.
07:55 And sometimes we as females, we look at them and say,
07:58 "Oh, okay, society is saying that's what's beautiful.
08:02 You need to be in this size.
08:03 You need to wear this type of makeup
08:07 or you need to have this type of jewelry,
08:09 this type of clothes
08:10 and if you don't have any of that,
08:12 then, you know, you're not it."
08:14 Yeah.
08:16 You're not the "It Girl" or you're not beautiful.
08:19 And I think what we as women
08:23 and as young women need to do
08:25 is to develop that relationship with Christ
08:29 and by developing that relationship with Christ
08:33 I think that, you know, just,
08:35 you know, going on with what Dajanae said that,
08:38 you know, we will gain our inner worth.
08:43 You know, and not worry about what everyone else is saying.
08:48 And also I think that men today...
08:54 Females are developing,
08:56 you know, a lot
09:00 quicker and more mature these days.
09:04 And males, they are going after that.
09:07 Okay.
09:09 You know, and...
09:10 So they have to be on...
09:12 The girls got to be on extra guard because...
09:13 Yes, extra guard. Yeah.
09:15 You know, when I was in grad school,
09:17 when I was at Andrews,
09:18 I was doing some research in my youth ministry degree
09:21 and I've read about something called the "Lolita Effect,
09:24 " where we objectify women, especially, young girls
09:28 and we take innocence and make it look attractive
09:31 and sexualized innocence.
09:33 So you'll see images in pop culture of women
09:37 dressed up like little girls with pig tails and looking cute
09:40 and licking lollipops and looking sexual
09:44 as young girls.
09:45 And then we flip that
09:46 and we also look at little girls
09:48 who are with the nails done and their hair done,
09:50 in the short dresses and all these things...
09:51 Wow.
09:53 And so we dress up little girls
09:54 and we dress a woman as little girls
09:56 and sexualize them and then say,
09:59 "Be this person or look like this.
10:02 Here's the image that we're selling you."
10:04 And I think part of that is,
10:05 you know, we assume sometimes that
10:08 just get to Jesus,
10:09 once you get to Jesus, then everything will be okay.
10:12 But there's a human process that needs to take place,
10:15 that I think comes in relationship.
10:17 Sometimes before I can get you to Jesus,
10:19 I just got to get you.
10:20 So we as women have to rally around.
10:23 Okay.
10:24 And get to these young women and say, "Hey, I'm a woman,
10:27 I love God, you know, I can be beautiful
10:30 and not objectify myself, now come hang out with me..."
10:32 Yeah.
10:33 "And see how we can do this together."
10:35 Yeah.
10:36 And then through that nurturing relationships,
10:38 through that transparencies, to being able to say,
10:40 "I struggle with this and this and that.
10:42 And this is how I'm dealing with it and rectifying it
10:46 and then moving forward."
10:47 So... Yeah.
10:48 As you were saying that, I just want to just ask then,
10:51 is there a spiritual war on women?
10:55 Yes, definitely. Let's talk about that.
10:57 Absolutely.
10:58 Because there is a sense,
11:00 I mean, we would be lying
11:01 if we would say that we don't want to be attractive.
11:04 Women, men, we all want to be attractive,
11:06 we want to attract the opposite sex
11:08 but in that we've been taught the wrong way on how to do it.
11:12 So me as a young girl,
11:14 people always said, "You're pretty.
11:16 You're so pretty, you're so pretty."
11:18 And it became, it became something bad to me,
11:23 like I looked at it like,
11:24 'cause I would see women on television
11:26 and the beautiful woman was the cunning,
11:28 was the evil woman that,
11:30 you know, took the man's money
11:32 or seduced him and whatever like,
11:34 it was always something bad.
11:36 So I was like, "Okay,
11:37 I'm pretty and not necessarily want to be."
11:40 And so it was this battle between,
11:43 yes, wanting to be attractive,
11:45 but not wanting to be what I've seen.
11:48 And so it was only through other women,
11:54 explaining to me that beauty is not bad.
11:58 Me seeing other women who are also beautiful
12:01 that carry themselves in a certain way.
12:03 So I don't have to show
12:06 everything that God has given me
12:08 in order for someone to be attracted to me.
12:10 And so that understanding
12:12 is what caused me personally
12:14 to not want to just be a pretty face
12:15 or not just want to be a pretty body.
12:17 So it has to be...
12:18 It's on the individual and the Holy Spirit
12:21 convicting the individual, woman,
12:22 young girl that you are more than
12:24 your appearance,
12:25 that your beauty is more than skin deep.
12:28 And it's the inner being
12:29 that someone should first be attracted to.
12:31 Okay, that's awesome.
12:32 But, you know, I think that women,
12:34 a lot of women do know we're beautiful.
12:36 We know we're pretty,
12:37 we know you got the curves and the shape.
12:40 We know, we're told what beautiful looks like
12:42 and even now there's a shift in trend
12:44 in culture where, you know, being,
12:46 you know, heavier is beautiful
12:49 and different body types and all.
12:51 And embracing your natural hair,
12:52 your curly hair whatever,
12:54 so we're definitely taking a trend
12:55 towards people being able
12:57 to identify themselves as beautiful,
12:58 but there's a hurt that goes deeper
13:01 and that beauty is not that that person is not valued.
13:06 So even though I'm beautiful, I'm hurting on the inside.
13:09 So I want to use this as a weapon
13:13 to either hurt other people
13:16 or to keep myself from being hurt.
13:18 So now my beauty becomes a bargaining tool,
13:21 for me to get or gain or give something
13:24 in order to help myself.
13:25 So then,
13:27 as you're talking about a beauty being
13:28 more than skin deep
13:30 and one of the things that I like to say
13:31 is the fact that,
13:33 Eve, before she could behold Adam,
13:37 she had to behold and look into the eyes
13:39 of her maker.
13:40 She had to see in order for it to go,
13:42 when she looked at God
13:44 and she saw the reflection that came back,
13:46 she saw that she was beautiful but deeper than that,
13:48 she saw that she was loved, valued and filled with worth.
13:53 And so therefore,
13:55 she had a different picture of herself,
13:56 so as I say that, what I want to know from you
13:58 is thinking about everything, does flirting, flattery,
14:03 sensuality and sexiness
14:05 even have a place in pure living?
14:06 I mean, can you be flirtatious?
14:10 Can you be sensuous, can... You know.
14:12 Is flattery okay?
14:14 I think coming from
14:16 just speaking as a married woman,
14:19 you have to be very careful
14:22 and there is a thin line I think,
14:26 that me being married or even being single
14:31 with being flirtatious and with,
14:35 you know, flattering somebody,
14:38 even especially, of the opposite sex or even,
14:40 you know, the same sex these days.
14:43 And I think that you deep within yourself you know,
14:49 you know, the difference between
14:50 a right and wrong.
14:51 You know that there is a thin line
14:53 that you can cross...
14:54 Yeah.
14:56 And, you know, coming,
14:58 if an older man
14:59 or even somebody of the opposite sex
15:02 gives you a compliment,
15:03 you know whether
15:05 you should say something or not,
15:07 especially back to that person,
15:09 you know, a simple thank you or,
15:11 you know, don't saying anything at all.
15:12 I think... Okay.
15:16 And so as you say that, I know that within our culture,
15:20 you know, a lot of guys have that tendency to just call us
15:23 out of our name, as we like to say.
15:26 And so as you're talking about that,
15:27 answering back and the flattery and the flirting
15:30 and all of that,
15:31 how do we let young ladies know
15:35 that the standard is
15:37 you may not know my name
15:39 but there's a way that you address me?
15:40 As we're talking about the whole,
15:42 you know, aura that we give off.
15:45 Well, can I have a question...
15:46 'Cause I was going to say,
15:48 you know, a lot of that responsibility,
15:50 we talk about women and nurturing women
15:52 and women to women,
15:53 but there is a role for men, especially,
15:56 Christian men in our society to take responsibility.
16:00 Like if I look at Boaz and Ruth,
16:02 Boaz took responsibility for protecting Ruth's virtue.
16:06 When she came in and laid by his feet,
16:09 he said, "Okay,
16:10 you can stay but you need to leave
16:12 early enough so that nobody sees you
16:14 and think something harmful or wrong of you,
16:17 so why don't you go ahead and leave,
16:19 so that no one...
16:20 This situation doesn't look suspect."
16:22 Boaz took responsibility for Ruth's virtue
16:26 as much as she took responsibility
16:27 for her own.
16:28 So I think there is a level of responsibility
16:30 on a man to say,
16:31 "If I value you, I'm going to show you
16:33 I value you by..." Chivalry can't be dead.
16:36 It has to be... Still alive, yes.
16:37 Brought back to life, it's still alive.
16:40 And so I think
16:41 there is a certain level of responsibility
16:43 that we have to deprogram ourselves
16:46 because you watch,
16:48 you know, you listen to some of the popular music
16:50 and you're a bad, you know,
16:53 insert word, you know.
16:55 And then so we associate and you put bad in front of it,
16:58 it means good
17:00 but if you just say the word by itself,
17:03 "Oh, don't disrespect me."
17:04 And so we have to be careful
17:06 what we allow ourselves to answer
17:08 to but we can't do that
17:10 until we know what we're originally
17:11 supposed to be called.
17:13 Yeah. Right.
17:14 So I had a question, I mean, just as the only guy in here,
17:16 you know.
17:18 Is it okay for a guy to compliment a lady,
17:22 I mean, if he does then, I mean,
17:24 how do you all view that, you know?
17:26 I mean, I just want to know for us, for some of the guys,
17:28 you know, also for the girls how should you respond
17:30 if a guy does, you know, really like practically,
17:32 how should you respond if a guy
17:34 does something that might be disrespectful?
17:35 I believe it's in a sense situational,
17:37 because the way that I...
17:39 The way that you will compliment me
17:40 as a single woman would not be the same way
17:43 that you would compliment because she's a married woman.
17:46 Okay.
17:47 And so even if say you would,
17:49 if you do give us the same compliments,
17:52 my response should be different.
17:53 Her response should be different.
17:55 And there is a sense, you know, if I'm very flirtatious
17:59 which I used to really, really,
18:01 really be when I was in high school.
18:03 I receive all the compliments that you're giving me
18:06 if I like you or not, but then now a woman in Christ,
18:09 I have to understand
18:11 that I can't receive that the same way,
18:12 even if it's a pure,
18:14 you know, "Oh, you look very nice today."
18:17 But the very, you know, says a lot.
18:19 So it's like, "Okay, thank you."
18:21 And keep going
18:23 whereas, if you're someone that I'm attracted to
18:25 and you're saying, "You know, you're beautiful.
18:27 I like what you have worn today,
18:28 you know, you look bright, whatever today."
18:32 Oh, you know, then I'll say thank you,
18:33 I'll say thank you in a different way
18:35 but you have to be...
18:37 It's situational, that's my...
18:38 It is, 'cause we even, I mean, me and my friends,
18:40 we joke all the time about how you go to church,
18:42 talk about the Sabbath hug.
18:44 A hug from the side or... Right.
18:47 And we talk about the Sabbath hug
18:48 and being appropriate and that kind of thing
18:51 because I think charisma or sexuality
18:55 has been sold as charisma.
18:58 And so what's seen as, hey, how you're doing?
19:02 You know, that kind of thing,
19:03 it's a flirtatious and the lines get so blurred
19:06 and so I think a man can say,
19:08 "You look very nice today, but the..."
19:09 "You look very nice today." Right.
19:11 You didn't need to do all that.
19:12 Yeah, that was unnecessary.
19:15 I mean, tone, intonation, all of those things,
19:18 I think we just need to stop lying to ourselves.
19:20 You know what you mean when you say
19:22 what you mean and how you say it.
19:23 We are intelligent human beings
19:26 who are able to communicate effectively
19:30 without "communicating."
19:32 Right.
19:33 Let's do some little bit of discernment here then.
19:35 So as we're talking about womanhood
19:38 and wise women and being pure then,
19:41 does your appearance
19:42 and I'm not just talking about your clothing,
19:44 your appearance,
19:46 does that have anything to do with
19:48 all of what we're talking about right now?
19:50 The way that I walk,
19:52 the way that my chaplaincy said,
19:54 the way that I hug you, the way that I communicate...
19:57 'Cause me personally when I speak,
19:59 I'm a touchy person
20:01 but I have to watch that
20:02 especially when it comes down to the opposite sex
20:05 because for me,
20:06 I'm looking at you as my brother,
20:08 I'm just talking, I'm just very animated.
20:09 Whereas, but you may receive it a certain way.
20:11 And so I can't touch her leg,
20:13 I can't touch a man's leg when I'm talking.
20:14 That's that, that... You can't do that.
20:16 No, no.
20:17 And so you have to first of all know,
20:19 you have to know yourself, you have to know what you do,
20:21 how you communicate and how that can be looked at
20:24 on as outsiders,
20:26 so, yes.
20:29 With men, but even right now
20:32 because we're in today's culture
20:34 with women.
20:35 Yeah, I agree and especially being,
20:38 you know, in a relationship or even being single,
20:41 you know what not to wear,
20:43 that short skirt is not necessary,
20:46 that low top is not necessary.
20:49 People without showing too much,
20:53 you know, they can know you as a person.
20:55 Let them get to know you as a person
20:57 before you show all of your goods,
21:00 I guess, as you say.
21:01 And I want you to go speak more on that
21:03 because, I mean, as the only ambassador here
21:06 I'm trying to be careful here.
21:09 I mean, we always say,
21:11 you know, help us out a little bit,
21:12 you know.
21:14 I know that of course,
21:15 you know, we talk to the guys about being respectful,
21:16 how you're looking and what you're saying
21:18 and what not.
21:19 But I think it does, I mean, as a guy,
21:20 it does say something to me
21:22 when I see a girl wearing a short...
21:23 A certain way. Right.
21:24 It does speak to how they are.
21:26 And if they're trying to be a wise woman,
21:27 then how should they really, you know, dress?
21:29 You know, I definitely think
21:30 that there is a balance that can be there.
21:31 You can be beautiful.
21:33 You can be fashionable and you can still love Jesus.
21:36 You know what I mean, I think sometimes
21:38 we get it confused and we say,
21:40 "If you love Jesus, only your eyes can show,
21:43 you know."
21:44 And it doesn't necessarily have to be that way.
21:47 That comes in with asking God to participate in your choices.
21:51 When you go shopping, say, you know, asking God,
21:54 you know, God is my friend,
21:56 "Does this look good on me, God?
21:57 Do you... Is this something that I can wear?"
21:59 You know what I mean.
22:01 And having that dialogue with God
22:03 and then as God starts to transform you,
22:05 as you start to develop that relationship,
22:07 as the Holy Spirit and you start to be able
22:09 to discern His voice, He'll tell you, "Uh-uh.
22:12 No, no, bubu.
22:14 You shouldn't wear that, no, no."
22:15 You're going this way, that is not for you.
22:17 Exactly, exactly,
22:19 and so we have to relate
22:20 I think as women that we are billboards,
22:22 that we are walking advertisements.
22:24 Here you go.
22:25 And whenever we leave our homes,
22:27 whenever we go out, we are advertising something.
22:31 That's right.
22:32 Now the question is, what are you selling?
22:34 What are you selling? That's true.
22:36 What are you selling?
22:37 And that's something that
22:39 I have started to understand
22:41 maybe like two or three years ago.
22:43 Whereas, okay, my beauty doesn't have to be dangerous,
22:45 that Christ gave me my beauty so I can use it to glorify Him.
22:50 Okay, so people are attracted to me and for a while,
22:54 I didn't really like people to be so attracted to me
22:57 and so but, okay, people are attracted to me,
22:59 so now I can draw them to Jesus.
23:00 So when they come, like you said,
23:01 before they even know that I stand for Christ,
23:04 I have a lot of guy friends,
23:06 they respect me because the way I hold myself,
23:09 because of what I allow them to call me,
23:12 by how I allow them to touch me or to,
23:15 you know, if I give a hug or whatever it may be,
23:17 and so because of that I can now minister to them.
23:21 But if I hold myself very flirtatious
23:23 and every time they give me a compliment,
23:25 you know, testing the waters,
23:26 I receive it, then it's hard for me
23:29 to be an ambassador for Christ.
23:31 Yeah, yeah.
23:32 So I guess we're talking about boundaries.
23:35 What we need to give our young ladies,
23:37 you know, is boundaries and so from everything
23:40 that we're saying,
23:42 we're just basically... Yeah.
23:43 Letting everybody know that purity,
23:46 a lifestyle of purity,
23:47 wise women, are we boring?
23:49 Are we stiff? Are we, you know...
23:52 That'll be uninspiring.
23:54 No, no, I think that,
23:57 you know, all of us here were different.
23:59 We all have personalities that are different.
24:01 God gave us personalities for a reason.
24:03 You can be who God created you to be
24:06 in your purpose as yourself.
24:08 And that's okay,
24:10 you know, and so boundaries are important.
24:12 You can say, this is my boundary,
24:15 you don't need to come any further.
24:17 But I think what we struggle with as women,
24:19 is our boundaries have been crossed
24:21 so often, especially,
24:23 as young girls, as young women,
24:25 our boundaries are crossed physically
24:28 through sometimes molestation,
24:29 abused as children
24:31 and then our boundaries are crossed mentally
24:33 to what we see and what we're introduced to
24:35 and to different things like that and then,
24:37 you know, so boundaries are crossing
24:38 all of these different ways.
24:40 And so you get so used to people
24:42 coming into your boundaries
24:43 that we no longer hold up a standard.
24:46 So you can hold up a standard as yourself
24:49 and I think that makes Christ even more attractive.
24:51 Right. Yeah.
24:53 But I also wanna say that God restores.
24:54 Yes.
24:56 Even after those boundaries have been crossed.
24:58 Yes.
25:00 And regardless of what happened in your situation.
25:03 You know, you can set those boundaries back up.
25:06 And God restores everything.
25:09 That's been, 'cause that's exactly what was...
25:10 That was exactly what was in my mind
25:12 because for many young ladies it's like,
25:14 it's hard for me to do that
25:16 because they already know me to accept this.
25:18 So I've accepted this kind of response
25:20 for so long that now,
25:22 you know, if I put up a boundary,
25:24 people say, "Oh, you're being fake.
25:26 Oh, you're acting brand new."
25:28 But in reality, no, I'm just, I'm just,
25:30 I'm just setting my standard higher.
25:32 And, okay, I didn't have that boundary before
25:34 but I'm growing.
25:36 I'm growing in Christ.
25:37 I'm growing as a person and now that boundary is there,
25:39 so make sure you see it.
25:41 Right. Wow.
25:43 So talk and last
25:45 we have only a few more minutes left,
25:47 so I want you to talk to the young ladies now
25:48 and of course, we're talking about wise women.
25:51 And what would be something then for you to say to them,
25:53 "Look, when you're making pure choices,
25:54 as a wise woman you should do..."
25:58 I think that...
26:01 there is a lot of things going on
26:03 and I just want to touch about,
26:04 you know, what's going on in the media
26:06 and what's on television today.
26:08 Yeah.
26:09 There are so many reality shows.
26:12 There are so many dramas on TV.
26:16 You know, even without giving any names
26:19 or anything in particular that...
26:25 Without giving any names in particular,
26:28 that there is this particular show
26:31 that is on TV and she is,
26:37 Mm-hm.
26:39 She's doing some...
26:40 Right. Not so good stuff.
26:42 Not some good thing.
26:43 And Christian women are embracing it.
26:45 Yes.
26:46 I think you know what she's talking about.
26:48 Embracing it.
26:49 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:51 That's so true, I mean, you gotta be careful what you,
26:52 what you watch, you put in to
26:54 and the woman you're really looking up to.
26:56 And I will also say, you know, I would challenge young ladies
26:59 to be honest.
27:01 If somebody has hurt you, has touched you,
27:04 has abused you, has raped you, get help.
27:08 Yeah.
27:10 Seek help in a pastor or a spirit,
27:13 someone you can confide in, talk to your parents...
27:16 Yeah, counseling.
27:18 A counselor, get help for yourself.
27:20 But then also remember that God restores.
27:23 And that even if you mess up, even if you mess up tonight,
27:27 tomorrow, you can get back up again,
27:29 you can ask for forgiveness.
27:30 Amen. Well, we're at the end here.
27:32 The Bible says,
27:33 "Your beauty should not come from outward adorning,"
27:35 And it says,
27:36 "Instead it should be that of your inner self,
27:38 the unfading beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit
27:41 which is of great worth in God's sight."
27:43 As I Peter 3:3 and 4.
27:45 So remember, ladies, make those wise choices.
27:48 Thank you, ladies, for being on the program with me
27:51 and remember always to make pure choices.


Revised 2017-01-30