Participants: Joshua Nelson (Host), Dajanae Maxwell, Donna Kaye Scarlett, Kimberly Pearson, Traci Anderson
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000056
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned 00:04 that some material may be too candid 00:06 for younger children. 00:40 Hello, and welcome to Pure Choices. 00:41 I'm your host, Pastor Joshua Nelson 00:44 and I'm glad you decided to join us today. 00:46 I'm here with all ladies today, we're talking about wise women. 00:51 And we want to talk about how women can stay pure. 00:53 But before we get into our 00:55 discussion and introduce our panel, 00:56 let's just pause for a word of prayer. 00:59 Dear Heavenly Father, we just ask that right now 01:01 Your Spirit would be with us and guide this conversation. 01:04 In Jesus' name we pray. 01:06 Amen. Amen. 01:07 All right, well, let's introduce 01:09 our lovely panel today. 01:11 I have my co-host here, Ms. Donnakaye Scarlett, 01:15 who is the director of Pure... 01:17 One of the directors of Pure Reality Ministry 01:19 in Miami, Florida. 01:20 And then over here, we have Traci Anderson, 01:23 who is from Madison, Alabama, 01:24 and she is the director or the CEO, 01:26 whatever you say, of her husband, 01:28 Jeremy Anderson's ministries and so happy to have her here. 01:32 We also have Kimberly Pearson, 01:33 who is the associate chaplain 01:36 at Oakwood University in Huntsville, Alabama. 01:39 And next to her, of course, 01:40 we have one of the students there 01:41 which is Dajanae Maxwell, 01:43 who is a theology student at Oakwood University. 01:46 So we have a great beautiful panel of women today 01:49 and so we want to get right into talking about this 01:51 and really honing in on purity when it comes to women 01:56 and how women should be pure. 01:58 So I'm going to start with Kimberly. 02:00 What does it mean for a woman to be pure? 02:04 We have lots of different phrases, 02:06 you know, keep the hands off the cookie jar, 02:09 you keep the kitchen closed, we have lots of, 02:11 you know, colloquial terms and cliches 02:14 that we use but, you know, I really think that being pure 02:18 is a mindset that dictates behavior. 02:22 I think purity begins with how you think, 02:25 how you view yourself and how you feel 02:27 and then it leads into how you act. 02:30 I think actions come from thoughts and emotions 02:33 and even sometimes our past, 02:35 by being able to process that 02:37 into how we present ourselves 02:40 as young women and young ladies. 02:41 Right, right, okay. Traci? 02:43 I completely agree it is a mindset. 02:47 I think sometimes we get, 02:49 you know, the two terms confused 02:52 as in being pure and then also, 02:57 you know, just sex in general... 02:58 Okay. I think. 03:01 But purity is also, you know, what you watch on TV 03:05 and keeping your mind pure. 03:07 It is keeping, you know, your heart pure. 03:09 It's not just keeping your body pure 03:11 but, you know, it's your whole temple, 03:13 your temple in general, 03:15 you know, from the head to the toe. 03:16 Okay. 03:17 So then let me ask you, in today's culture, 03:20 today's society, it basically, 03:23 maybe speaks a little differently, 03:25 so do you think that purity even has a place 03:29 in this culture and doesn't have a cost, 03:32 if you decide that you wanna stay pure? 03:34 I think it does, it's not the society 03:37 isn't providing a place for it 03:40 but there's still a place for it. 03:43 We as, you know, my generation, 03:46 we don't look at the ins and outs of purity. 03:49 It is when we think of purity, we think, 03:51 "Oh, well, I'm a virgin. 03:52 So I'm pure." 03:54 But it goes beyond the mindset. 03:56 I mean, it goes beyond the behavior 03:58 like what was stated before. 04:00 But purity, purity is how I conduct myself, 04:04 purity is how I... 04:07 The people that I associate myself with, 04:09 purity is what I put into my soul 04:12 and my body and my mind. 04:16 All right. All right, so what is the cost then? 04:19 You know, I honestly think that 04:22 the cost often times of our purity 04:25 is we sell our virtue. 04:27 And we sell it for acceptance and we sell it for soothing. 04:32 Because a lot of times, young ladies are hurting 04:35 and so in order to mask that, 04:38 sometimes can go above and beyond 04:40 in the opposite direction, 04:41 but sometimes the cost of purity involves, 04:44 sometimes being made fun of, 04:45 being seen as the outsider, 04:47 the strange one, the holier than thou one 04:50 and so it can come with being a social outcast 04:54 which is a very difficult place to be 04:56 when you are a woman going through that transition 04:59 into young adulthood and not feeling accepted 05:03 in your sexuality in a culture that's very overly sexualized, 05:08 very overly simulated. 05:09 Yeah, yeah. 05:10 And especially, you know, I was a guy, you know, 05:12 looking at the young men that I try to mentor on 05:14 and a lot of them are just going after the women 05:17 and really making it even uncool for them to resist 05:21 and not do the sexual acts, 05:23 you know, making them feel bad or even less, you know. 05:25 So what would you say to a woman 05:27 who's in that position 05:28 where all the guys are kind of coming at her? 05:30 It's expected in the circle that she rides in or whatever, 05:32 that she's supposed to just do these things, 05:34 even if she may know it's wrong or, you know, impure to do. 05:38 I believe that a lot of women know it 05:40 to be wrong like you said, 05:42 a lot of young ladies, 05:43 a lot of a young girls even because... 05:46 The people, 05:48 children are starting to be very sexualized. 05:52 Children are starting to look at men and like, 05:54 "Oh, they have muscles." 05:56 Or the young boys like, "Oh, they have..." 05:58 You know, very sexual even in elementary school. 06:02 And so it's understood that it's "bad, 06:05 " but it needs to be discussed 06:07 as something that sexuality isn't bad 06:10 but just the way that it's being portrayed 06:12 in society is bad. 06:14 And so having that balance first and foremost 06:17 but to the young woman, it's not necessarily... 06:21 She has to know who she is. Okay. 06:23 She has to know who she is first and foremost 06:25 because you can tell her all day 06:26 what you should and should not do. 06:27 All right. 06:29 But if there's no value that God has placed on her 06:32 because there's not even... 06:33 I need to have high self-esteem 06:35 and I need to have this high value of self, 06:37 it's not even just that, 06:38 it's I need to have value of self in Christ. 06:41 So without that in Christ, I can still be... 06:44 I'm nothing, I'm nothing without Jesus. 06:47 So, yeah, that's what I would say, 06:50 that's what I would try to get her to realize, 06:54 try to culture into understanding 06:56 that you are the daughter of Jesus Christ. 07:00 You are the daughter of the one 07:03 who created everything wonderful and beautiful. 07:06 That's who you belong to. 07:08 So now that you have that, that self value in Jesus, 07:13 now how do you respond to the young man 07:15 that try to come to you for sex. 07:16 So then how do you reconcile that with a culture 07:20 that historically is very violent towards women? 07:24 With a culture that objectifies 07:25 and says as we're talking about cost and place 07:28 and objectifies and as you're saying, 07:29 excellent point, but what do you say 07:32 when the saturation or the over saturation 07:35 of this culture says, 07:37 "This is who you are. 07:39 You're not even a person, you're an object." 07:41 Yeah. 07:43 I think that, 07:44 when you think about things like that, 07:46 you know, we look at, 07:48 you know, the media and the magazines 07:51 and we see these supermodels. 07:55 And sometimes we as females, we look at them and say, 07:58 "Oh, okay, society is saying that's what's beautiful. 08:02 You need to be in this size. 08:03 You need to wear this type of makeup 08:07 or you need to have this type of jewelry, 08:09 this type of clothes 08:10 and if you don't have any of that, 08:12 then, you know, you're not it." 08:14 Yeah. 08:16 You're not the "It Girl" or you're not beautiful. 08:19 And I think what we as women 08:23 and as young women need to do 08:25 is to develop that relationship with Christ 08:29 and by developing that relationship with Christ 08:33 I think that, you know, just, 08:35 you know, going on with what Dajanae said that, 08:38 you know, we will gain our inner worth. 08:43 You know, and not worry about what everyone else is saying. 08:48 And also I think that men today... 08:54 Females are developing, 08:56 you know, a lot 09:00 quicker and more mature these days. 09:04 And males, they are going after that. 09:07 Okay. 09:09 You know, and... 09:10 So they have to be on... 09:12 The girls got to be on extra guard because... 09:13 Yes, extra guard. Yeah. 09:15 You know, when I was in grad school, 09:17 when I was at Andrews, 09:18 I was doing some research in my youth ministry degree 09:21 and I've read about something called the "Lolita Effect, 09:24 " where we objectify women, especially, young girls 09:28 and we take innocence and make it look attractive 09:31 and sexualized innocence. 09:33 So you'll see images in pop culture of women 09:37 dressed up like little girls with pig tails and looking cute 09:40 and licking lollipops and looking sexual 09:44 as young girls. 09:45 And then we flip that 09:46 and we also look at little girls 09:48 who are with the nails done and their hair done, 09:50 in the short dresses and all these things... 09:51 Wow. 09:53 And so we dress up little girls 09:54 and we dress a woman as little girls 09:56 and sexualize them and then say, 09:59 "Be this person or look like this. 10:02 Here's the image that we're selling you." 10:04 And I think part of that is, 10:05 you know, we assume sometimes that 10:08 just get to Jesus, 10:09 once you get to Jesus, then everything will be okay. 10:12 But there's a human process that needs to take place, 10:15 that I think comes in relationship. 10:17 Sometimes before I can get you to Jesus, 10:19 I just got to get you. 10:20 So we as women have to rally around. 10:23 Okay. 10:24 And get to these young women and say, "Hey, I'm a woman, 10:27 I love God, you know, I can be beautiful 10:30 and not objectify myself, now come hang out with me..." 10:32 Yeah. 10:33 "And see how we can do this together." 10:35 Yeah. 10:36 And then through that nurturing relationships, 10:38 through that transparencies, to being able to say, 10:40 "I struggle with this and this and that. 10:42 And this is how I'm dealing with it and rectifying it 10:46 and then moving forward." 10:47 So... Yeah. 10:48 As you were saying that, I just want to just ask then, 10:51 is there a spiritual war on women? 10:55 Yes, definitely. Let's talk about that. 10:57 Absolutely. 10:58 Because there is a sense, 11:00 I mean, we would be lying 11:01 if we would say that we don't want to be attractive. 11:04 Women, men, we all want to be attractive, 11:06 we want to attract the opposite sex 11:08 but in that we've been taught the wrong way on how to do it. 11:12 So me as a young girl, 11:14 people always said, "You're pretty. 11:16 You're so pretty, you're so pretty." 11:18 And it became, it became something bad to me, 11:23 like I looked at it like, 11:24 'cause I would see women on television 11:26 and the beautiful woman was the cunning, 11:28 was the evil woman that, 11:30 you know, took the man's money 11:32 or seduced him and whatever like, 11:34 it was always something bad. 11:36 So I was like, "Okay, 11:37 I'm pretty and not necessarily want to be." 11:40 And so it was this battle between, 11:43 yes, wanting to be attractive, 11:45 but not wanting to be what I've seen. 11:48 And so it was only through other women, 11:54 explaining to me that beauty is not bad. 11:58 Me seeing other women who are also beautiful 12:01 that carry themselves in a certain way. 12:03 So I don't have to show 12:06 everything that God has given me 12:08 in order for someone to be attracted to me. 12:10 And so that understanding 12:12 is what caused me personally 12:14 to not want to just be a pretty face 12:15 or not just want to be a pretty body. 12:17 So it has to be... 12:18 It's on the individual and the Holy Spirit 12:21 convicting the individual, woman, 12:22 young girl that you are more than 12:24 your appearance, 12:25 that your beauty is more than skin deep. 12:28 And it's the inner being 12:29 that someone should first be attracted to. 12:31 Okay, that's awesome. 12:32 But, you know, I think that women, 12:34 a lot of women do know we're beautiful. 12:36 We know we're pretty, 12:37 we know you got the curves and the shape. 12:40 We know, we're told what beautiful looks like 12:42 and even now there's a shift in trend 12:44 in culture where, you know, being, 12:46 you know, heavier is beautiful 12:49 and different body types and all. 12:51 And embracing your natural hair, 12:52 your curly hair whatever, 12:54 so we're definitely taking a trend 12:55 towards people being able 12:57 to identify themselves as beautiful, 12:58 but there's a hurt that goes deeper 13:01 and that beauty is not that that person is not valued. 13:06 So even though I'm beautiful, I'm hurting on the inside. 13:09 So I want to use this as a weapon 13:13 to either hurt other people 13:16 or to keep myself from being hurt. 13:18 So now my beauty becomes a bargaining tool, 13:21 for me to get or gain or give something 13:24 in order to help myself. 13:25 So then, 13:27 as you're talking about a beauty being 13:28 more than skin deep 13:30 and one of the things that I like to say 13:31 is the fact that, 13:33 Eve, before she could behold Adam, 13:37 she had to behold and look into the eyes 13:39 of her maker. 13:40 She had to see in order for it to go, 13:42 when she looked at God 13:44 and she saw the reflection that came back, 13:46 she saw that she was beautiful but deeper than that, 13:48 she saw that she was loved, valued and filled with worth. 13:53 And so therefore, 13:55 she had a different picture of herself, 13:56 so as I say that, what I want to know from you 13:58 is thinking about everything, does flirting, flattery, 14:03 sensuality and sexiness 14:05 even have a place in pure living? 14:06 I mean, can you be flirtatious? 14:10 Can you be sensuous, can... You know. 14:12 Is flattery okay? 14:14 I think coming from 14:16 just speaking as a married woman, 14:19 you have to be very careful 14:22 and there is a thin line I think, 14:26 that me being married or even being single 14:31 with being flirtatious and with, 14:35 you know, flattering somebody, 14:38 even especially, of the opposite sex or even, 14:40 you know, the same sex these days. 14:43 And I think that you deep within yourself you know, 14:49 you know, the difference between 14:50 a right and wrong. 14:51 You know that there is a thin line 14:53 that you can cross... 14:54 Yeah. 14:56 And, you know, coming, 14:58 if an older man 14:59 or even somebody of the opposite sex 15:02 gives you a compliment, 15:03 you know whether 15:05 you should say something or not, 15:07 especially back to that person, 15:09 you know, a simple thank you or, 15:11 you know, don't saying anything at all. 15:12 I think... Okay. 15:16 And so as you say that, I know that within our culture, 15:20 you know, a lot of guys have that tendency to just call us 15:23 out of our name, as we like to say. 15:26 And so as you're talking about that, 15:27 answering back and the flattery and the flirting 15:30 and all of that, 15:31 how do we let young ladies know 15:35 that the standard is 15:37 you may not know my name 15:39 but there's a way that you address me? 15:40 As we're talking about the whole, 15:42 you know, aura that we give off. 15:45 Well, can I have a question... 15:46 'Cause I was going to say, 15:48 you know, a lot of that responsibility, 15:50 we talk about women and nurturing women 15:52 and women to women, 15:53 but there is a role for men, especially, 15:56 Christian men in our society to take responsibility. 16:00 Like if I look at Boaz and Ruth, 16:02 Boaz took responsibility for protecting Ruth's virtue. 16:06 When she came in and laid by his feet, 16:09 he said, "Okay, 16:10 you can stay but you need to leave 16:12 early enough so that nobody sees you 16:14 and think something harmful or wrong of you, 16:17 so why don't you go ahead and leave, 16:19 so that no one... 16:20 This situation doesn't look suspect." 16:22 Boaz took responsibility for Ruth's virtue 16:26 as much as she took responsibility 16:27 for her own. 16:28 So I think there is a level of responsibility 16:30 on a man to say, 16:31 "If I value you, I'm going to show you 16:33 I value you by..." Chivalry can't be dead. 16:36 It has to be... Still alive, yes. 16:37 Brought back to life, it's still alive. 16:40 And so I think 16:41 there is a certain level of responsibility 16:43 that we have to deprogram ourselves 16:46 because you watch, 16:48 you know, you listen to some of the popular music 16:50 and you're a bad, you know, 16:53 insert word, you know. 16:55 And then so we associate and you put bad in front of it, 16:58 it means good 17:00 but if you just say the word by itself, 17:03 "Oh, don't disrespect me." 17:04 And so we have to be careful 17:06 what we allow ourselves to answer 17:08 to but we can't do that 17:10 until we know what we're originally 17:11 supposed to be called. 17:13 Yeah. Right. 17:14 So I had a question, I mean, just as the only guy in here, 17:16 you know. 17:18 Is it okay for a guy to compliment a lady, 17:22 I mean, if he does then, I mean, 17:24 how do you all view that, you know? 17:26 I mean, I just want to know for us, for some of the guys, 17:28 you know, also for the girls how should you respond 17:30 if a guy does, you know, really like practically, 17:32 how should you respond if a guy 17:34 does something that might be disrespectful? 17:35 I believe it's in a sense situational, 17:37 because the way that I... 17:39 The way that you will compliment me 17:40 as a single woman would not be the same way 17:43 that you would compliment because she's a married woman. 17:46 Okay. 17:47 And so even if say you would, 17:49 if you do give us the same compliments, 17:52 my response should be different. 17:53 Her response should be different. 17:55 And there is a sense, you know, if I'm very flirtatious 17:59 which I used to really, really, 18:01 really be when I was in high school. 18:03 I receive all the compliments that you're giving me 18:06 if I like you or not, but then now a woman in Christ, 18:09 I have to understand 18:11 that I can't receive that the same way, 18:12 even if it's a pure, 18:14 you know, "Oh, you look very nice today." 18:17 But the very, you know, says a lot. 18:19 So it's like, "Okay, thank you." 18:21 And keep going 18:23 whereas, if you're someone that I'm attracted to 18:25 and you're saying, "You know, you're beautiful. 18:27 I like what you have worn today, 18:28 you know, you look bright, whatever today." 18:32 Oh, you know, then I'll say thank you, 18:33 I'll say thank you in a different way 18:35 but you have to be... 18:37 It's situational, that's my... 18:38 It is, 'cause we even, I mean, me and my friends, 18:40 we joke all the time about how you go to church, 18:42 talk about the Sabbath hug. 18:44 A hug from the side or... Right. 18:47 And we talk about the Sabbath hug 18:48 and being appropriate and that kind of thing 18:51 because I think charisma or sexuality 18:55 has been sold as charisma. 18:58 And so what's seen as, hey, how you're doing? 19:02 You know, that kind of thing, 19:03 it's a flirtatious and the lines get so blurred 19:06 and so I think a man can say, 19:08 "You look very nice today, but the..." 19:09 "You look very nice today." Right. 19:11 You didn't need to do all that. 19:12 Yeah, that was unnecessary. 19:15 I mean, tone, intonation, all of those things, 19:18 I think we just need to stop lying to ourselves. 19:20 You know what you mean when you say 19:22 what you mean and how you say it. 19:23 We are intelligent human beings 19:26 who are able to communicate effectively 19:30 without "communicating." 19:32 Right. 19:33 Let's do some little bit of discernment here then. 19:35 So as we're talking about womanhood 19:38 and wise women and being pure then, 19:41 does your appearance 19:42 and I'm not just talking about your clothing, 19:44 your appearance, 19:46 does that have anything to do with 19:48 all of what we're talking about right now? 19:50 The way that I walk, 19:52 the way that my chaplaincy said, 19:54 the way that I hug you, the way that I communicate... 19:57 'Cause me personally when I speak, 19:59 I'm a touchy person 20:01 but I have to watch that 20:02 especially when it comes down to the opposite sex 20:05 because for me, 20:06 I'm looking at you as my brother, 20:08 I'm just talking, I'm just very animated. 20:09 Whereas, but you may receive it a certain way. 20:11 And so I can't touch her leg, 20:13 I can't touch a man's leg when I'm talking. 20:14 That's that, that... You can't do that. 20:16 No, no. 20:17 And so you have to first of all know, 20:19 you have to know yourself, you have to know what you do, 20:21 how you communicate and how that can be looked at 20:24 on as outsiders, 20:26 so, yes. 20:29 With men, but even right now 20:32 because we're in today's culture 20:34 with women. 20:35 Yeah, I agree and especially being, 20:38 you know, in a relationship or even being single, 20:41 you know what not to wear, 20:43 that short skirt is not necessary, 20:46 that low top is not necessary. 20:49 People without showing too much, 20:53 you know, they can know you as a person. 20:55 Let them get to know you as a person 20:57 before you show all of your goods, 21:00 I guess, as you say. 21:01 And I want you to go speak more on that 21:03 because, I mean, as the only ambassador here 21:06 I'm trying to be careful here. 21:09 I mean, we always say, 21:11 you know, help us out a little bit, 21:12 you know. 21:14 I know that of course, 21:15 you know, we talk to the guys about being respectful, 21:16 how you're looking and what you're saying 21:18 and what not. 21:19 But I think it does, I mean, as a guy, 21:20 it does say something to me 21:22 when I see a girl wearing a short... 21:23 A certain way. Right. 21:24 It does speak to how they are. 21:26 And if they're trying to be a wise woman, 21:27 then how should they really, you know, dress? 21:29 You know, I definitely think 21:30 that there is a balance that can be there. 21:31 You can be beautiful. 21:33 You can be fashionable and you can still love Jesus. 21:36 You know what I mean, I think sometimes 21:38 we get it confused and we say, 21:40 "If you love Jesus, only your eyes can show, 21:43 you know." 21:44 And it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. 21:47 That comes in with asking God to participate in your choices. 21:51 When you go shopping, say, you know, asking God, 21:54 you know, God is my friend, 21:56 "Does this look good on me, God? 21:57 Do you... Is this something that I can wear?" 21:59 You know what I mean. 22:01 And having that dialogue with God 22:03 and then as God starts to transform you, 22:05 as you start to develop that relationship, 22:07 as the Holy Spirit and you start to be able 22:09 to discern His voice, He'll tell you, "Uh-uh. 22:12 No, no, bubu. 22:14 You shouldn't wear that, no, no." 22:15 You're going this way, that is not for you. 22:17 Exactly, exactly, 22:19 and so we have to relate 22:20 I think as women that we are billboards, 22:22 that we are walking advertisements. 22:24 Here you go. 22:25 And whenever we leave our homes, 22:27 whenever we go out, we are advertising something. 22:31 That's right. 22:32 Now the question is, what are you selling? 22:34 What are you selling? That's true. 22:36 What are you selling? 22:37 And that's something that 22:39 I have started to understand 22:41 maybe like two or three years ago. 22:43 Whereas, okay, my beauty doesn't have to be dangerous, 22:45 that Christ gave me my beauty so I can use it to glorify Him. 22:50 Okay, so people are attracted to me and for a while, 22:54 I didn't really like people to be so attracted to me 22:57 and so but, okay, people are attracted to me, 22:59 so now I can draw them to Jesus. 23:00 So when they come, like you said, 23:01 before they even know that I stand for Christ, 23:04 I have a lot of guy friends, 23:06 they respect me because the way I hold myself, 23:09 because of what I allow them to call me, 23:12 by how I allow them to touch me or to, 23:15 you know, if I give a hug or whatever it may be, 23:17 and so because of that I can now minister to them. 23:21 But if I hold myself very flirtatious 23:23 and every time they give me a compliment, 23:25 you know, testing the waters, 23:26 I receive it, then it's hard for me 23:29 to be an ambassador for Christ. 23:31 Yeah, yeah. 23:32 So I guess we're talking about boundaries. 23:35 What we need to give our young ladies, 23:37 you know, is boundaries and so from everything 23:40 that we're saying, 23:42 we're just basically... Yeah. 23:43 Letting everybody know that purity, 23:46 a lifestyle of purity, 23:47 wise women, are we boring? 23:49 Are we stiff? Are we, you know... 23:52 That'll be uninspiring. 23:54 No, no, I think that, 23:57 you know, all of us here were different. 23:59 We all have personalities that are different. 24:01 God gave us personalities for a reason. 24:03 You can be who God created you to be 24:06 in your purpose as yourself. 24:08 And that's okay, 24:10 you know, and so boundaries are important. 24:12 You can say, this is my boundary, 24:15 you don't need to come any further. 24:17 But I think what we struggle with as women, 24:19 is our boundaries have been crossed 24:21 so often, especially, 24:23 as young girls, as young women, 24:25 our boundaries are crossed physically 24:28 through sometimes molestation, 24:29 abused as children 24:31 and then our boundaries are crossed mentally 24:33 to what we see and what we're introduced to 24:35 and to different things like that and then, 24:37 you know, so boundaries are crossing 24:38 all of these different ways. 24:40 And so you get so used to people 24:42 coming into your boundaries 24:43 that we no longer hold up a standard. 24:46 So you can hold up a standard as yourself 24:49 and I think that makes Christ even more attractive. 24:51 Right. Yeah. 24:53 But I also wanna say that God restores. 24:54 Yes. 24:56 Even after those boundaries have been crossed. 24:58 Yes. 25:00 And regardless of what happened in your situation. 25:03 You know, you can set those boundaries back up. 25:06 And God restores everything. 25:09 That's been, 'cause that's exactly what was... 25:10 That was exactly what was in my mind 25:12 because for many young ladies it's like, 25:14 it's hard for me to do that 25:16 because they already know me to accept this. 25:18 So I've accepted this kind of response 25:20 for so long that now, 25:22 you know, if I put up a boundary, 25:24 people say, "Oh, you're being fake. 25:26 Oh, you're acting brand new." 25:28 But in reality, no, I'm just, I'm just, 25:30 I'm just setting my standard higher. 25:32 And, okay, I didn't have that boundary before 25:34 but I'm growing. 25:36 I'm growing in Christ. 25:37 I'm growing as a person and now that boundary is there, 25:39 so make sure you see it. 25:41 Right. Wow. 25:43 So talk and last 25:45 we have only a few more minutes left, 25:47 so I want you to talk to the young ladies now 25:48 and of course, we're talking about wise women. 25:51 And what would be something then for you to say to them, 25:53 "Look, when you're making pure choices, 25:54 as a wise woman you should do..." 25:58 I think that... 26:01 there is a lot of things going on 26:03 and I just want to touch about, 26:04 you know, what's going on in the media 26:06 and what's on television today. 26:08 Yeah. 26:09 There are so many reality shows. 26:12 There are so many dramas on TV. 26:16 You know, even without giving any names 26:19 or anything in particular that... 26:25 Without giving any names in particular, 26:28 that there is this particular show 26:31 that is on TV and she is, 26:37 Mm-hm. 26:39 She's doing some... 26:40 Right. Not so good stuff. 26:42 Not some good thing. 26:43 And Christian women are embracing it. 26:45 Yes. 26:46 I think you know what she's talking about. 26:48 Embracing it. 26:49 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 26:51 That's so true, I mean, you gotta be careful what you, 26:52 what you watch, you put in to 26:54 and the woman you're really looking up to. 26:56 And I will also say, you know, I would challenge young ladies 26:59 to be honest. 27:01 If somebody has hurt you, has touched you, 27:04 has abused you, has raped you, get help. 27:08 Yeah. 27:10 Seek help in a pastor or a spirit, 27:13 someone you can confide in, talk to your parents... 27:16 Yeah, counseling. 27:18 A counselor, get help for yourself. 27:20 But then also remember that God restores. 27:23 And that even if you mess up, even if you mess up tonight, 27:27 tomorrow, you can get back up again, 27:29 you can ask for forgiveness. 27:30 Amen. Well, we're at the end here. 27:32 The Bible says, 27:33 "Your beauty should not come from outward adorning," 27:35 And it says, 27:36 "Instead it should be that of your inner self, 27:38 the unfading beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit 27:41 which is of great worth in God's sight." 27:43 As I Peter 3:3 and 4. 27:45 So remember, ladies, make those wise choices. 27:48 Thank you, ladies, for being on the program with me 27:51 and remember always to make pure choices. |
Revised 2017-01-30