Participants: Pr. Joshua Nelson (Host), Brittany Hill, John Coaxum, Kim Pearson, Korey P. Douglas
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000068
00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned that some material may be too candid
00:06 for younger children.
00:40 Hello, and welcome to "Pure Choices."
00:41 I'm your host, Pastor Joshua Nelson.
00:43 And I'm so glad and excited you decided to join us.
00:46 We are having a good discussion today.
00:48 The title is Bi-Curious.
00:50 And we're talking about the bisexual craze
00:54 that we seemed to be more prevalent in our society today.
00:57 What do you do or how should you react to someone
00:59 who is not only dating the same, the opposite sex,
01:02 but also interested in the same sex.
01:04 And so, we're gonna discuss this
01:06 because this has become a prevalent thing
01:08 not only in our society
01:09 but also on, even on Christian campuses.
01:11 So we're gonna just kind of expose in
01:13 and talk about these things today.
01:15 Before we do get into the discussion,
01:16 I want to pray and I also want to introduce the panel.
01:19 Heavenly Father, we ask that Your Spirit
01:21 would be with us now as we discuss this sensitive topic
01:23 and that you just abide with us, Father.
01:26 We need you right now. In Jesus' name we pray.
01:28 Amen. Amen.
01:30 All right. Let's introduce the panel.
01:31 To my left I have Pastor K.P. Douglas
01:33 from Southeast Missouri.
01:34 He has two churches out there.
01:36 So glad that he is here with us today.
01:37 On the couch, to my right I have Pastor John Coaxum,
01:39 who is the pastor, or associate pastor
01:41 at Glenville Seventh-day Adventist Church
01:43 in Cleveland, Ohio.
01:45 Next to him we have Brittany Hill,
01:46 who is the graduate from the theological seminary
01:49 at Andrews University.
01:51 Glad she's here with us.
01:52 And also we have Kimberly Pearson
01:54 who is the associate chaplain at Oakwood University
01:56 and we're happy she's here with us today.
01:58 So we have a great panel.
02:00 Interesting topic.
02:02 We're gonna get right into this but before we discuss it,
02:04 I want us to go to the screen
02:05 because we're gonna watch some interviews I did
02:07 with some students from a college campus.
02:09 Now I must say this was not a Christian campus
02:13 and the views that they share will not reflect, well,
02:16 we probably will come it
02:18 or what this network subscribes to.
02:21 But I do want to show these videos
02:22 because it will help us kind of see the prevailing mindset
02:26 of those who really live amongst us and talk amongst us,
02:30 kind of how people think and how we should discuss it.
02:32 You know, a lot of times we can get so caught up in our bubble
02:34 and how we think and we kind of forget
02:36 what others are thinking or talking about.
02:38 So we're gonna watch three videos.
02:40 We'll watch the first one now
02:42 to see what we can learn from it.
02:45 Let's go.
02:47 It's not right, it's not right.
02:48 It's just not right. That's how I see it.
02:51 But if you want, if you 're happy with the person
02:55 that is the same sex as you, go for it
02:59 because it's not harming me any.
03:02 I know what I want and so I will stick to my,
03:07 to my preference and you stick to your's.
03:10 I think people mainly in itself have a problem with it
03:14 because biblically it's wrong.
03:17 Man and woman were made.
03:18 You can't create another being
03:20 by solely being with another man
03:22 or solely being with another female.
03:25 And I think that's where it's wrong
03:26 and then you screw up evolution
03:27 because we don't have new creations,
03:30 we have less creation.
03:32 And then that's why I think
03:33 a lot of people have a problem with it.
03:36 So you see, there is different views out there
03:40 of really the idea of homosexuality,
03:44 lesbianism, you know, and you know,
03:46 at first it seemed it be that okay, they are against it
03:48 but and also saying well, we are accepting because if,
03:52 hey, if you want to do it,
03:53 that's your preference, if you want to do.
03:55 And so now it doesn't seem to be an actual,
03:57 hey, this is wrong type of statement.
04:00 More of a, you know, if you want to do it,
04:01 you can do it type of thing.
04:03 Let's watch another one.
04:05 There are, there is a growing number of people
04:08 who are coming out about how they feel
04:10 about same sex relations
04:12 and in history there's always been that discussion
04:16 but in the modern time it seems like
04:18 there is a lot of different views on that.
04:21 And I think it's,
04:23 at least affiliate will listen to people's perspectives
04:26 and some people often try to be morally superior
04:30 and not reaching out and trying to understand someone else
04:34 who has a problem that you don't.
04:35 If you consider it a problem,
04:38 it's a lack of people understanding,
04:41 you know, lack of people willing to listen.
04:42 And I feel like it's, it's a very blind hatred
04:45 because these people who are openly against it
04:49 in a hateful way are the people who aren't willing to reach out
04:52 and listen and just try to get a new perspective on that.
04:57 I think there are some good points made there,
04:59 you know, and the idea that we do need to listen
05:01 and be sensitive to others who are going through struggles
05:04 because we all go through struggles.
05:05 I think that's what the Bible does bring out that, you know,
05:07 your sin is not greater than anyone else's sin,
05:10 but I think there is still a failure
05:11 for us to call things in,
05:12 call things by its right name,
05:14 whether it's our secret sin or somebody else's.
05:15 So I think there is still a room for us
05:18 to call things by its right name.
05:21 So I appreciate that one.
05:22 There's one more and we'll go to our discussion.
05:27 Religious, religious preferences and
05:32 raising a child,
05:34 raising a child around that environment that could be tough
05:37 'cause no parent wants to see their child take that route.
05:41 Me personally, I do not support that.
05:44 I feel it's not cool
05:47 but everybody has their own reason
05:48 and their own purposes for what they do in this life.
05:51 All right.
05:52 And I tag along with him going well,
05:54 I'm brought up in a Christian home,
05:56 we weren't brought up, you know, same sex,
05:57 you know, so I mean, kind of all place in,
06:00 just happy to believe what they believe in so.
06:03 All right. There you have it.
06:05 A number of young people with their opinion.
06:07 So, let's get some reactions from the videos from you guys.
06:10 Who wants to start?
06:13 Come on, go ahead.
06:14 I guess I'll start.
06:16 You know I mean,
06:17 if we just go based on the Bible, you know,
06:19 we know that homosexuality
06:22 and all the stuff is just not right, you know.
06:24 And I don't know if it makes sense to start going
06:26 into the whole nature versus nurture thing, you know,
06:29 but we do have to kind of consider the fact,
06:31 the Bible says we're born in sin and shapen in iniquity,
06:33 you know, and so I mean, your feelings come up,
06:36 you know, I always tell people
06:37 you cannot help the way you feel,
06:39 you know, you can't help the way you feel
06:41 but you can definitely decide
06:43 what to do with those feelings, you know.
06:45 And so, I don't know if that was a great place to start
06:48 All right.
06:50 It was honest place to start, you know,
06:53 I think that we are definitely a feeling-driven society.
06:58 And we can show that I mean, shows with our little cliches,
07:02 do you, I'm gonna do me, whatever makes you happy
07:06 or this is my feeling and when you're driven by feeling
07:11 without any logic
07:12 and especially with no biblical foundation
07:15 to steer those feelings,
07:17 you are gonna just do you which in our society it's prevalent
07:21 that exploring your sexuality with another person
07:27 with the opposite sex and the same sex, it's popular.
07:29 It's in all the movies, it's in all the TV shows.
07:32 And I was even speaking with a friend
07:35 who is trying to, you know,
07:36 they when they feel like one of their gifts is acting
07:38 and they want to do commercials in TV
07:41 but they want to do it the right way
07:42 but they were saying they are having a hard time
07:44 getting in the door
07:45 because bisexual and homosexuality
07:48 is the new minority.
07:50 That's the characters that all these commercials
07:53 and commercial companies are looking for.
07:54 They want people to play homosexual
07:56 and bisexual characters
07:58 on TV and in media and advertisements.
08:01 Yeah, what I got from the videos, you know,
08:03 I think that the Bible is beginning to lose credibility
08:06 because of Christians, you know,
08:07 if you noticed one of the girls said that you know,
08:09 the Bible clearly says that it's wrong,
08:11 you know, but she says,
08:12 but we should still be accepting of it.
08:15 But then the other brother on the video also said
08:17 that we have a blind hatred towards people
08:20 who are struggling with this
08:21 and I think we've given people the idea
08:23 that God is angry at them, that they are sinful,
08:26 that they are wretched, it's the worst sin of all
08:28 and I do not believe that that is true.
08:29 I think we can still tell people God is understanding,
08:32 God loves you,
08:34 although He may not approve of what you're doing.
08:36 God still wants to see you saved
08:37 and He wants to help you through your struggle.
08:39 Right, right.
08:40 That's a good point. It's a powerful point too.
08:42 You know, people need to hear that.
08:44 Brittany, do you want to add anything to it?
08:46 Yeah, one thing that I could agree with in the videos was
08:47 that we do have freedom of choice.
08:50 A person can choose if they want to, have this preference
08:53 but it doesn't mean that their choice is right.
08:55 There is still a right or wrong.
08:57 And that's something we need to highlight.
08:59 Yeah, yeah. Okay.
09:01 All right, you know, this is definitely a sensitive topic.
09:06 So I do want us to kind of discuss a little bit more
09:08 about why do you think that now,
09:11 you talked about the media kind of promoting
09:14 the type of lifestyle.
09:15 Why do you think now it has become so much more prevalent,
09:18 this whole bisexuality, you know,
09:20 not just being satisfied with having the opposite sex
09:23 but now you need to go with the same sex
09:25 and if you do that, it's okay,
09:26 you know, threesomes and all these are things
09:28 that we are so excited about now?
09:30 What is that really cause or led to that being so open now?
09:34 Well, I mean, historically, you know,
09:37 people kind of approach homosexuality
09:38 as if it hasn't existed until modern times, you know.
09:42 People have been homosexual for a long time.
09:44 It's just wasn't, you know,
09:46 it wasn't okay to come out and say, you know,
09:48 you read about secret meetings with guys doing stuff
09:51 and all kind of crazy stuff if you go back.
09:53 But today, it's just accepted man, you know,
09:55 especially in a country that is built on civil rights.
09:59 You have to really think about when you say civil rights
10:02 and rights for everyone, you know then,
10:04 I mean, you really have to say, well,
10:05 that means the homosexual should have their rights too.
10:08 And the same way, you shouldn't be able to talk
10:09 about black people in certain way
10:11 or be degregate women in a certain way, you should,
10:15 homosexuals should have those same rights.
10:16 And so when you live in a society like that,
10:19 you know, it becomes to be politically incorrect
10:23 to start speaking out directly on homosexuality
10:26 which is this struggle you saw on the videos
10:28 where they would say, I know it's wrong
10:30 but I know also that because you know,
10:32 I want to be politically right, I'm supposed to say,
10:34 but if they want to choose it, you know,
10:36 then they should be able to choose that so...
10:38 Yeah, yeah.
10:39 And that's kind of what we run into,
10:41 especially as Christians, I mean, the pastors, you know,
10:44 all of us are in that kind of realm,
10:46 you know, how do we really,
10:49 you know, especially for our time,
10:50 how do we really speak out against and say,
10:51 look, this is wrong.
10:53 But you already know is as soon as you say that,
10:55 especially say that on public realm,
10:56 we are seeing on, you know, on TV.
10:58 You say that on a public realm, people are gonna say well,
11:00 hold on, hold on a second, you can't, you know,
11:02 you can't be saying stuff like that,
11:03 you can't talk bad about this, you know,
11:05 we have rights, we have feelings and why not.
11:08 So how do you really, you know, speak out against it
11:11 but still be able to be sensitive to others
11:14 in what they are going through.
11:17 Well, you know, I think the main thing is,
11:21 you know, they say action speak louder than words.
11:24 And a big part of what we do is
11:25 we do a lot of speaking without enough action.
11:28 So we're quick to point fingers and say you're a sinner,
11:31 and you're bad and you're wrong, no, no, no.
11:33 And we're walking around slapping people on the wrist
11:36 without putting an arm around them.
11:38 And just like with a child or with a friend,
11:41 there's times where we have to tell our friends like,
11:44 that's not right or you know,
11:45 how you need to make a different choice
11:47 but what if we just did that,
11:48 almost like walked away and show no compassion,
11:51 no empathy, no conversation,
11:55 we have to build relationships with people.
11:56 You can't just walk in to somebody's life
11:59 and condemn them without trying to understand them
12:03 or have a conversation or be empathetic.
12:07 I mean, a lot of people are struggling
12:09 with the need to be appreciated,
12:12 the need to be accepted, the need to be loved.
12:16 And so, we have to remember that Jesus is love, He is.
12:20 That's what He is.
12:21 So, you can't bring Jesus into the situation
12:23 and then separate Him from being a loving person.
12:26 I'm actually reminded immediately
12:28 where God says I chasten those who I love,
12:30 you know, that discipline is a part of love
12:32 so I throw that in. Okay.
12:34 I would also add that sometimes we feel like
12:37 the Bible is the only thing that speaks out against it.
12:39 So we say, well, the Bible says, the Bible says,
12:42 but there's also the elements of science
12:44 and how the health issues that come in
12:46 when you are being a homosexual or even the emotions
12:50 and even the fact that family loss all this,
12:52 there's so much different risk that come to play that yes,
12:56 the Bible does, we go against it
12:57 but we can use other avenues to help people
13:00 make the better choice.
13:03 Yeah, and that's a good point, I mean,
13:04 God is not saying not to do things
13:06 just for the sake of saying not to do things, you know.
13:08 He's saying because here is a plan, there's a way
13:11 and He wants our life to be the best possible.
13:14 And so, you know, that's a good point to bring out.
13:16 So if someone is struggling with this and they are saying,
13:20 you know, I like, you know, I'm a man,
13:22 I like women but I also want to try, you know,
13:27 the same sex, you know,
13:29 reverse is someone's woman saying that,
13:31 you know, the same type of thing.
13:32 You know, what do you say to them?
13:34 You know, what do you say to them and say,
13:36 I, they're saying I just want to try it once, I'm just,
13:38 I feel like something that is gonna really increase my fun,
13:42 my sex and everything, my sex life is gonna be great.
13:45 And what you really say to them
13:46 and if they're just saying, you know,
13:48 I am still with the opposite sex,
13:50 but I just want to try, you know, this thing?
13:54 Well, I mean, as a pastor, you know,
13:57 taking every word that you just said just now.
13:59 At first I'm gonna say praise God because they say,
14:03 it's a struggle.
14:04 And for me, I'm happy that it's a struggle.
14:07 It's not something that
14:08 they are completely accepting of that,
14:09 they are opening themselves up too.
14:11 I think that any sin in our lives,
14:12 if it's a struggle for you,
14:14 that is a area where God is convicting you.
14:16 And so, I would say to that person,
14:18 you know, praise God man,
14:19 that you recognize that this is, you know,
14:22 probably not the best choice you should make for your life
14:24 and you want to make better decisions and I see that
14:26 as the conviction of the Holy Spirit in your life right now.
14:29 This has not come from you,
14:30 but God is telling you and teaching you,
14:32 trying to bring you to a better place.
14:33 I actually would be pretty comfortable
14:36 with somebody saying that. Okay.
14:38 I think too, we got to start at the point
14:40 where we are able to tell people
14:41 that the feelings you're having is natural.
14:44 You know, the Bible says, and like I said earlier,
14:46 we were born in sin and shapen in iniquity,
14:48 you know, God gave man over to a reprobate mind.
14:50 I think what we do ourselves a disservice
14:52 when we talk about salvation,
14:54 is we kind of paint this picture
14:55 as when I give my life to Christ,
14:56 all of sudden every thing bad should just disappear.
15:00 Well, Paul tells us, there's a struggle of nature
15:02 inside of you. Yeah.
15:03 You know, a baby is not bad
15:05 because he crawls over to put his hand
15:06 in the electric socket.
15:08 He is what he naturally wants to do.
15:10 He's curious.
15:11 You know, curiosity is not a sin.
15:13 It's responding to that curiosity
15:14 and we have to be able to let people know that
15:16 just because you are curious doesn't mean
15:18 that you have sin, you know.
15:20 But now that you are curious, you know,
15:21 here's what we can do not to act on those curiosities.
15:24 Right. Right.
15:26 And, you know, I work on a college campus.
15:29 I see quite a bit of, you know,
15:33 young people who are struggling with choices,
15:36 who are struggling with the things they see on media,
15:39 they are struggling with the images they hear
15:42 and the music they like to listen to, you know.
15:46 And when students come to me and they say, hey chap,
15:49 you know, I'm struggling or hey, chap,
15:52 all my friends decided that they wanted to you know,
15:56 engage in bisexual behavior.
15:59 You know, I challenge them to think critically.
16:01 A lot of times we separate emotion from thinking,
16:04 why, what's behind it,
16:07 was there something in your past,
16:08 were you molested, were you touched,
16:11 did somebody do something to you
16:13 to incite those unnatural desires?
16:17 Are you just following a trend?
16:19 Are you just wanted to do it
16:20 'cause your friendship circle decided
16:22 that everybody wanted to do it?
16:25 And really work through some of those emotions,
16:27 some of those feelings, some of those choices
16:29 and do some critical thinking about why,
16:31 what are the long term results of this
16:35 so that's what I'm gonna say.
16:36 And the fact that brought out
16:38 that this is happening on college campuses,
16:43 not just college campus but our college campuses.
16:46 It's something that we really have to
16:48 and that's what we're discussing it,
16:49 really bring it out of the dark because, you know,
16:51 this is, it's not right, you know,
16:53 biblically and we have to encourage people
16:55 to have that struggle,
16:56 you know, to fight against it, not just accept it because,
17:00 hey, everybody else is accepting it but no,
17:01 you know, this is not what God is accepting.
17:03 He wants you to get higher, higher
17:05 and better and better, you know.
17:06 If I could I think, I think we should make a point too
17:08 for the adults who are watching the show,
17:10 they may be married or people who are in relationships,
17:13 there's one thing that my fiance and I've talked about,
17:16 one of the problems that have feed into this stuff
17:18 is the lack of good heterosexual
17:22 examples of relationships
17:23 or relationship examples.
17:25 There are a lot of homes,
17:26 I grew up in a single parent home,
17:27 you know, and so matter of fact,
17:29 my mother has 11 sisters.
17:31 I grew up around all women.
17:32 I can braid here, I can give you a relaxer,
17:35 I'm being for real, you know,
17:37 that's the kind of stuff that would lead a person
17:39 towards thinking more feminine,
17:41 you know, so there has to be a balance in the home
17:43 and so like myself, my fiance,
17:45 we've said that when we're married, you know,
17:47 we will try as best as possible to exemplify
17:52 what a great heterosexual relation looks like,
17:54 you know, like don't be afraid to walk and hold the hands
17:56 and to put your arm around, you know,
17:58 your wife or hug your husband
18:00 and show them that this is what
18:02 healthy heterosexual relationship looks like
18:04 so I think that's something we should, you know.
18:06 Okay, yeah.
18:07 And just from,
18:09 just guess being a little authentic
18:10 and being straightforward,
18:12 I had a family member come to me recently
18:15 and say, hey, I'm struggling.
18:19 And trying to figure out what to do with that feeling
18:23 and I think a lot of times
18:24 we want to keep it at arm's length.
18:26 That's out there. That's over there.
18:28 But what do you do when it's your cousin,
18:31 your sister, your niece, your, you know,
18:35 a parent or whatever it may be, those things can be very...
18:39 It's not easy.
18:40 Yes, it's not easy to deal with those things.
18:42 But you know, I truly believe that part of that
18:47 is like Korey said, struggling with relationships.
18:50 They would have their heart broken over
18:52 and over and over and over by you know,
18:56 within heterosexual relationships.
18:58 So I said, forget it.
18:59 I'm just gonna go to the other side somebody who is like me,
19:02 who understands me and I think we have to exchange that
19:06 and say, yes, Brittany is like me
19:09 'cause she 's a female
19:11 and so yeah, she understands it to a certain degree
19:14 but I wasn't created to be known that way.
19:17 Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah.
19:18 So... I could probably add to that
19:20 'cause I've also had another friend come to me
19:25 and what happened for her was she was abused
19:28 and abused so badly that even when she tried to engage
19:31 in other relationships with men,
19:32 it just was not working out for her.
19:35 So she just felt more comfortable with other women
19:38 and sometimes we have to really look at what is the core issue.
19:41 If this is the problem,
19:43 how do we go about helping them
19:44 get counseling or recovering from this,
19:46 so they can be able to embrace
19:49 healthy heterosexual relationships.
19:51 And with that, I mean,
19:52 if a young person is listening now,
19:54 we might want to let them know
19:55 if something has happened to you,
19:56 you want to get help, you know, find a counselor,
19:58 you know, somebody that you can fight in.
20:00 Go to your school, talk to, you know, to somebody
20:02 but you know, there's a lot of, you know, problems that we have
20:05 that stem from things that happen.
20:06 This is children that we don't think affect us
20:08 but you know,
20:09 we might need to get help that way too.
20:12 And there are also some issues
20:13 that we kind of bring upon ourselves
20:15 and I think about this when talking to my friend
20:16 about the whole porn industry and the whole addiction
20:18 that a lot of men, even pastors have with porn,
20:20 porn addiction and you know, I remember
20:22 he was telling me that, you know,
20:24 I think I mentioned this before that he didn't think it was sex
20:27 unless he was two girls, you know,
20:29 or some three girls whatever
20:31 and so, you know, he didn't start off that way
20:34 that the first encounter was like that.
20:36 Gradually it happened overtime
20:38 because of what he was looking at,
20:40 what he was watching
20:42 and even I know that some people say that
20:44 as you're watching these acts that happen on the screen,
20:46 you are seeing even if it's just, you know,
20:48 heterosexual, sexual encounter
20:50 as you're watching on the screen
20:51 and you are looking,
20:52 you're having to look at if you're as a man,
20:54 you happen to look at the man, you know, engage in his actions
20:56 so it would have been no, psychologically,
20:58 you start to become, you know, with some homosexual thoughts,
21:02 you know, and it arouse because of
21:03 of what you're seeing from a man
21:04 that should never happen, you know,
21:06 so, you know, you may be kind of
21:07 getting yourself into these things
21:09 and you didn't even realize, you just think,
21:10 oh, it's harmless, you know,
21:11 I'm just kind of having some fun with
21:13 you know, pleasure seeking, whatever.
21:14 But in the end you slip into this thing
21:16 and next thing you know, you're trying to experiment
21:17 to a greater and a higher degree.
21:19 And you know, you are just going after that.
21:21 Yeah, I think that's the pull of pornography in general.
21:24 I mean, it begins with just a man and a woman,
21:26 you know, having normal casual, you know, everyday sex
21:28 and then next thing you know, they're changing positions,
21:31 next thing you know, there are introducing toys,
21:32 next thing you know, introducing another person
21:34 and then next thing you know,
21:35 it's now introducing animals and all types of things.
21:37 So I mean, seriously, you know, yeah, that's what happens.
21:40 That's the pull and that's the bait of it.
21:42 And so it just keeps getting,
21:45 I don't want to use this word but for that person,
21:47 better and better and better, you know what I mean.
21:49 And so now in our day to day lives
21:51 when we are thinking about sex
21:52 and we're thinking about experimenting,
21:54 it's just like well, you know, why not.
21:56 It becomes easier and easier to do,
21:58 the more we see that.
22:01 Exactly, you know, you just--
22:03 And you know, really enough is not enough,
22:04 you know, it's like a drug.
22:05 You have to get more and more and more.
22:07 And so where you really draw the line,
22:09 you know, where do you really stop, so.
22:12 Well, you said something that I think is important.
22:14 You said, you know, pleasure seeking
22:16 and you know, for our young people
22:17 I think a verse comes to mind as soon as you said,
22:20 you know, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God."
22:22 You know, no one is telling you that being,
22:24 you know, pleasure is bad, you know.
22:25 You want to enjoy life, you want to enjoy things
22:28 but that's why Christ says, seek first the kingdom of God
22:30 'cause once you seek that first,
22:32 it kind of holds everything else into subjection.
22:35 You know, if I get up and say,
22:36 I'm gonna have devotion in the morning
22:37 and before I go to bed, then late at night,
22:39 I'm gonna be a little bit less inclined
22:40 to watch pornography.
22:42 You know, I'm gonna be a little less inclined
22:43 to do these certain things
22:45 because God is fresh on my mind 'cause I sought that first.
22:47 And so, you know, we should definitely seek
22:49 first the kingdom of God and then let God allow,
22:53 you know, His Spirit to kind of point us in the way
22:55 which pleasures, you know, would be good for us, so--
22:58 And you know, if we could be honest
23:00 and maybe this is my experience
23:02 'cause I'm working on a college campus is that
23:04 most college students,
23:05 most young people know it's not right.
23:07 But it's part of the culture,
23:10 it's part of the things to do while you are in college,
23:14 smoke, drink, have sex, experiment,
23:17 then when you get out of school,
23:18 marry a guy, go off have babies,
23:21 live happily ever after.
23:22 But it becomes such a trend
23:24 that people get stuck in that trend
23:28 and they get just something to do.
23:30 And I think we have to be a very cautious
23:32 about how we talk to our young men and our young women
23:35 and say, what are you doing today
23:38 to become the person you want to be in the future.
23:41 Are the things you're doing right now
23:43 leading and lending itself to be on the type of wife
23:47 or the type of woman or man,
23:49 young man you want to be in the future,
23:51 so start thinking about those choices,
23:53 pure choices now so that five years from now,
23:56 you're not trying to figure out how to be in a relationship
24:00 with you know with the guy or whatever.
24:02 That's such a good advice to me.
24:03 I think, you know, many of us who've had these experiences
24:06 and we shared some of our stuff,
24:07 you know, where we've gone down
24:09 and made many, you know,
24:10 many, many poor choices in my life,
24:11 you know, I never really did stop and think
24:13 okay, well, I never imagine
24:14 that I would get to the certain point,
24:15 I never stopped and thought,
24:17 okay, let me make sure I don't make,
24:20 you know, watch that first video
24:21 or do this thing here
24:23 and that's why I won't get to a bad place.
24:24 I never thought that would happen to me, you know.
24:26 So I think it's really important
24:27 for young people to watch this and realize
24:29 that you have to be even though you are young,
24:32 you have to think future wise, you know.
24:34 You have to be mature and smart to think ahead
24:36 because you're shaping your life,
24:38 you know, you, just like what you eat, you know,
24:39 you're shaping your future by what you're doing right now.
24:42 Yeah. Okay.
24:45 So now I want to go with what do you do,
24:47 I say it like that, what do you do
24:49 if you have those urges, okay.
24:52 What should you do different and I also want to ask
24:54 if you are approached by someone
24:55 who is trying to experiment with you,
24:58 you know, what do you do?
25:00 So it's a kind of two part question.
25:02 Yeah, well, I think Korey kind of alluded to it,
25:04 you know, if you're having those urges right now,
25:06 seek help, especially if you find it to be a struggle
25:09 in something that you know,
25:10 you do not want to continue in your life,
25:12 I encourage you to actually go to somebody that you trust.
25:14 But at the end of the day, Josh, I mean,
25:16 this is a task for God and God alone.
25:19 Only He can deal with, you know,
25:21 natural or unnatural tendencies,
25:23 however you want to look at it
25:24 but at the end of the day, it's something that, you know,
25:26 we're fighting against our own bodies in a sense
25:28 if I'm struggling that.
25:29 But also, if somebody is coming to me
25:31 and they are having these urges
25:33 they has, I think there has to be a delicate balance
25:35 between truth and love.
25:37 I think that love without truth is not forcible enough
25:41 and I think that truth without love is empty
25:43 and I think that we have to you know,
25:45 love that person and say, hey, I love you
25:47 no matter what you do,
25:49 no matter what happens in your life,
25:50 just as God does and it's unconditional
25:52 but at the same time I'm not gonna enable you
25:54 and I'm not gonna support you
25:56 in any habits that you engage yourself in.
25:57 Yeah. Yeah.
25:58 I definitely agree with John.
26:00 I think, one of the biggest problems of sin in general
26:02 is that we always try to do it by ourselves.
26:04 You know, you got to find people
26:07 who you can talk to.
26:08 Find people who you can hold you accountable.
26:10 And I want to real.
26:11 In my life, I'm talking as a young man,
26:13 the strength I have is people like you guys,
26:15 you know, Josh, John, dropped my boy name Sheik,
26:18 you know, that I can call and really say,
26:21 "Listen man," and I do this.
26:23 You guys know it.
26:24 "Today is a hard day, please pray for me?
26:27 Or you know, just being able to say that to somebody
26:30 kind of dissuades me
26:32 from whatever is coming up inside of me
26:34 And so don't try to fight the battle by yourself.
26:36 You know, get friends,
26:37 get accountability partners, you know.
26:39 Yeah, that's true.
26:40 I definitely have my team
26:41 that I go to as well in the struggles.
26:43 Yeah, go ahead.
26:44 And I think one of the things that a person needs to realize
26:46 is it's not going to be conquered in one day.
26:50 It might be a life long struggle
26:52 and you have to wake up every morning or wake up every,
26:55 and just constantly pray about it
26:57 and say, God, help me with this,
26:59 help me not to be placed in a compromising situation
27:03 and again, accountable partners.
27:05 And if I have someone approach me,
27:07 I can just simply tell them, I'm sorry,
27:10 that's not what I want to do.
27:12 This is, I just don't agree with it.
27:13 I just don't want to.
27:15 Find somebody else and all.
27:17 And can I jump in and say,
27:18 make sure that who you are telling
27:20 is not somebody who's going to push you
27:22 or be like, "It's okay, yeah, let's."
27:26 Make sure the person you're talking to
27:27 is somebody who you know, who is honest,
27:29 who is spiritual,
27:31 who's not going down the same road as you
27:34 so that you're not holding hands,
27:35 walking down the pathways.
27:38 I want to close with the scripture text.
27:40 Romans Chapter 1, I'm reading at verse 28.
27:42 "So it was when they gave God up
27:45 and were not even acknowledge Him.
27:46 God gave them up to doing everything their evil mind
27:49 could think of."
27:50 Remember, don't give up God.
27:52 Keep your mind straight in Him
27:53 and always remember to make pure choices.
27:55 God bless.