Participants: Pr. Joshua Nelson (Host), Brittany Hill, John Coaxum, Kim Pearson, Korey P. Douglas
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000068
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned that some material may be too candid 00:06 for younger children. 00:40 Hello, and welcome to "Pure Choices." 00:41 I'm your host, Pastor Joshua Nelson. 00:43 And I'm so glad and excited you decided to join us. 00:46 We are having a good discussion today. 00:48 The title is Bi-Curious. 00:50 And we're talking about the bisexual craze 00:54 that we seemed to be more prevalent in our society today. 00:57 What do you do or how should you react to someone 00:59 who is not only dating the same, the opposite sex, 01:02 but also interested in the same sex. 01:04 And so, we're gonna discuss this 01:06 because this has become a prevalent thing 01:08 not only in our society 01:09 but also on, even on Christian campuses. 01:11 So we're gonna just kind of expose in 01:13 and talk about these things today. 01:15 Before we do get into the discussion, 01:16 I want to pray and I also want to introduce the panel. 01:19 Heavenly Father, we ask that Your Spirit 01:21 would be with us now as we discuss this sensitive topic 01:23 and that you just abide with us, Father. 01:26 We need you right now. In Jesus' name we pray. 01:28 Amen. Amen. 01:30 All right. Let's introduce the panel. 01:31 To my left I have Pastor K.P. Douglas 01:33 from Southeast Missouri. 01:34 He has two churches out there. 01:36 So glad that he is here with us today. 01:37 On the couch, to my right I have Pastor John Coaxum, 01:39 who is the pastor, or associate pastor 01:41 at Glenville Seventh-day Adventist Church 01:43 in Cleveland, Ohio. 01:45 Next to him we have Brittany Hill, 01:46 who is the graduate from the theological seminary 01:49 at Andrews University. 01:51 Glad she's here with us. 01:52 And also we have Kimberly Pearson 01:54 who is the associate chaplain at Oakwood University 01:56 and we're happy she's here with us today. 01:58 So we have a great panel. 02:00 Interesting topic. 02:02 We're gonna get right into this but before we discuss it, 02:04 I want us to go to the screen 02:05 because we're gonna watch some interviews I did 02:07 with some students from a college campus. 02:09 Now I must say this was not a Christian campus 02:13 and the views that they share will not reflect, well, 02:16 we probably will come it 02:18 or what this network subscribes to. 02:21 But I do want to show these videos 02:22 because it will help us kind of see the prevailing mindset 02:26 of those who really live amongst us and talk amongst us, 02:30 kind of how people think and how we should discuss it. 02:32 You know, a lot of times we can get so caught up in our bubble 02:34 and how we think and we kind of forget 02:36 what others are thinking or talking about. 02:38 So we're gonna watch three videos. 02:40 We'll watch the first one now 02:42 to see what we can learn from it. 02:45 Let's go. 02:47 It's not right, it's not right. 02:48 It's just not right. That's how I see it. 02:51 But if you want, if you 're happy with the person 02:55 that is the same sex as you, go for it 02:59 because it's not harming me any. 03:02 I know what I want and so I will stick to my, 03:07 to my preference and you stick to your's. 03:10 I think people mainly in itself have a problem with it 03:14 because biblically it's wrong. 03:17 Man and woman were made. 03:18 You can't create another being 03:20 by solely being with another man 03:22 or solely being with another female. 03:25 And I think that's where it's wrong 03:26 and then you screw up evolution 03:27 because we don't have new creations, 03:30 we have less creation. 03:32 And then that's why I think 03:33 a lot of people have a problem with it. 03:36 So you see, there is different views out there 03:40 of really the idea of homosexuality, 03:44 lesbianism, you know, and you know, 03:46 at first it seemed it be that okay, they are against it 03:48 but and also saying well, we are accepting because if, 03:52 hey, if you want to do it, 03:53 that's your preference, if you want to do. 03:55 And so now it doesn't seem to be an actual, 03:57 hey, this is wrong type of statement. 04:00 More of a, you know, if you want to do it, 04:01 you can do it type of thing. 04:03 Let's watch another one. 04:05 There are, there is a growing number of people 04:08 who are coming out about how they feel 04:10 about same sex relations 04:12 and in history there's always been that discussion 04:16 but in the modern time it seems like 04:18 there is a lot of different views on that. 04:21 And I think it's, 04:23 at least affiliate will listen to people's perspectives 04:26 and some people often try to be morally superior 04:30 and not reaching out and trying to understand someone else 04:34 who has a problem that you don't. 04:35 If you consider it a problem, 04:38 it's a lack of people understanding, 04:41 you know, lack of people willing to listen. 04:42 And I feel like it's, it's a very blind hatred 04:45 because these people who are openly against it 04:49 in a hateful way are the people who aren't willing to reach out 04:52 and listen and just try to get a new perspective on that. 04:57 I think there are some good points made there, 04:59 you know, and the idea that we do need to listen 05:01 and be sensitive to others who are going through struggles 05:04 because we all go through struggles. 05:05 I think that's what the Bible does bring out that, you know, 05:07 your sin is not greater than anyone else's sin, 05:10 but I think there is still a failure 05:11 for us to call things in, 05:12 call things by its right name, 05:14 whether it's our secret sin or somebody else's. 05:15 So I think there is still a room for us 05:18 to call things by its right name. 05:21 So I appreciate that one. 05:22 There's one more and we'll go to our discussion. 05:27 Religious, religious preferences and 05:32 raising a child, 05:34 raising a child around that environment that could be tough 05:37 'cause no parent wants to see their child take that route. 05:41 Me personally, I do not support that. 05:44 I feel it's not cool 05:47 but everybody has their own reason 05:48 and their own purposes for what they do in this life. 05:51 All right. 05:52 And I tag along with him going well, 05:54 I'm brought up in a Christian home, 05:56 we weren't brought up, you know, same sex, 05:57 you know, so I mean, kind of all place in, 06:00 just happy to believe what they believe in so. 06:03 All right. There you have it. 06:05 A number of young people with their opinion. 06:07 So, let's get some reactions from the videos from you guys. 06:10 Who wants to start? 06:13 Come on, go ahead. 06:14 I guess I'll start. 06:16 You know I mean, 06:17 if we just go based on the Bible, you know, 06:19 we know that homosexuality 06:22 and all the stuff is just not right, you know. 06:24 And I don't know if it makes sense to start going 06:26 into the whole nature versus nurture thing, you know, 06:29 but we do have to kind of consider the fact, 06:31 the Bible says we're born in sin and shapen in iniquity, 06:33 you know, and so I mean, your feelings come up, 06:36 you know, I always tell people 06:37 you cannot help the way you feel, 06:39 you know, you can't help the way you feel 06:41 but you can definitely decide 06:43 what to do with those feelings, you know. 06:45 And so, I don't know if that was a great place to start 06:48 All right. 06:50 It was honest place to start, you know, 06:53 I think that we are definitely a feeling-driven society. 06:58 And we can show that I mean, shows with our little cliches, 07:02 do you, I'm gonna do me, whatever makes you happy 07:06 or this is my feeling and when you're driven by feeling 07:11 without any logic 07:12 and especially with no biblical foundation 07:15 to steer those feelings, 07:17 you are gonna just do you which in our society it's prevalent 07:21 that exploring your sexuality with another person 07:27 with the opposite sex and the same sex, it's popular. 07:29 It's in all the movies, it's in all the TV shows. 07:32 And I was even speaking with a friend 07:35 who is trying to, you know, 07:36 they when they feel like one of their gifts is acting 07:38 and they want to do commercials in TV 07:41 but they want to do it the right way 07:42 but they were saying they are having a hard time 07:44 getting in the door 07:45 because bisexual and homosexuality 07:48 is the new minority. 07:50 That's the characters that all these commercials 07:53 and commercial companies are looking for. 07:54 They want people to play homosexual 07:56 and bisexual characters 07:58 on TV and in media and advertisements. 08:00 Wow. 08:01 Yeah, what I got from the videos, you know, 08:03 I think that the Bible is beginning to lose credibility 08:06 because of Christians, you know, 08:07 if you noticed one of the girls said that you know, 08:09 the Bible clearly says that it's wrong, 08:11 you know, but she says, 08:12 but we should still be accepting of it. 08:15 But then the other brother on the video also said 08:17 that we have a blind hatred towards people 08:20 who are struggling with this 08:21 and I think we've given people the idea 08:23 that God is angry at them, that they are sinful, 08:26 that they are wretched, it's the worst sin of all 08:28 and I do not believe that that is true. 08:29 I think we can still tell people God is understanding, 08:32 God loves you, 08:34 although He may not approve of what you're doing. 08:36 God still wants to see you saved 08:37 and He wants to help you through your struggle. 08:39 Right, right. 08:40 That's a good point. It's a powerful point too. 08:42 You know, people need to hear that. 08:43 Yeah. 08:44 Brittany, do you want to add anything to it? 08:46 Yeah, one thing that I could agree with in the videos was 08:47 that we do have freedom of choice. 08:50 A person can choose if they want to, have this preference 08:53 but it doesn't mean that their choice is right. 08:55 There is still a right or wrong. 08:57 And that's something we need to highlight. 08:59 Yeah, yeah. Okay. 09:01 All right, you know, this is definitely a sensitive topic. 09:06 So I do want us to kind of discuss a little bit more 09:08 about why do you think that now, 09:11 you talked about the media kind of promoting 09:14 the type of lifestyle. 09:15 Why do you think now it has become so much more prevalent, 09:18 this whole bisexuality, you know, 09:20 not just being satisfied with having the opposite sex 09:23 but now you need to go with the same sex 09:25 and if you do that, it's okay, 09:26 you know, threesomes and all these are things 09:28 that we are so excited about now? 09:30 What is that really cause or led to that being so open now? 09:34 Well, I mean, historically, you know, 09:37 people kind of approach homosexuality 09:38 as if it hasn't existed until modern times, you know. 09:42 People have been homosexual for a long time. 09:44 It's just wasn't, you know, 09:46 it wasn't okay to come out and say, you know, 09:48 you read about secret meetings with guys doing stuff 09:51 and all kind of crazy stuff if you go back. 09:53 But today, it's just accepted man, you know, 09:55 especially in a country that is built on civil rights. 09:59 You have to really think about when you say civil rights 10:02 and rights for everyone, you know then, 10:04 I mean, you really have to say, well, 10:05 that means the homosexual should have their rights too. 10:08 And the same way, you shouldn't be able to talk 10:09 about black people in certain way 10:11 or be degregate women in a certain way, you should, 10:15 homosexuals should have those same rights. 10:16 And so when you live in a society like that, 10:19 you know, it becomes to be politically incorrect 10:23 to start speaking out directly on homosexuality 10:26 which is this struggle you saw on the videos 10:28 where they would say, I know it's wrong 10:30 but I know also that because you know, 10:32 I want to be politically right, I'm supposed to say, 10:34 but if they want to choose it, you know, 10:36 then they should be able to choose that so... 10:38 Yeah, yeah. 10:39 And that's kind of what we run into, 10:41 especially as Christians, I mean, the pastors, you know, 10:44 all of us are in that kind of realm, 10:46 you know, how do we really, 10:49 you know, especially for our time, 10:50 how do we really speak out against and say, 10:51 look, this is wrong. 10:53 But you already know is as soon as you say that, 10:55 especially say that on public realm, 10:56 we are seeing on, you know, on TV. 10:58 You say that on a public realm, people are gonna say well, 11:00 hold on, hold on a second, you can't, you know, 11:02 you can't be saying stuff like that, 11:03 you can't talk bad about this, you know, 11:05 we have rights, we have feelings and why not. 11:08 So how do you really, you know, speak out against it 11:11 but still be able to be sensitive to others 11:14 in what they are going through. 11:17 Well, you know, I think the main thing is, 11:21 you know, they say action speak louder than words. 11:24 And a big part of what we do is 11:25 we do a lot of speaking without enough action. 11:28 So we're quick to point fingers and say you're a sinner, 11:31 and you're bad and you're wrong, no, no, no. 11:33 And we're walking around slapping people on the wrist 11:36 without putting an arm around them. 11:38 And just like with a child or with a friend, 11:41 there's times where we have to tell our friends like, 11:44 that's not right or you know, 11:45 how you need to make a different choice 11:47 but what if we just did that, 11:48 almost like walked away and show no compassion, 11:51 no empathy, no conversation, 11:55 we have to build relationships with people. 11:56 You can't just walk in to somebody's life 11:59 and condemn them without trying to understand them 12:03 or have a conversation or be empathetic. 12:07 I mean, a lot of people are struggling 12:09 with the need to be appreciated, 12:12 the need to be accepted, the need to be loved. 12:16 And so, we have to remember that Jesus is love, He is. 12:20 That's what He is. 12:21 So, you can't bring Jesus into the situation 12:23 and then separate Him from being a loving person. 12:26 I'm actually reminded immediately 12:28 where God says I chasten those who I love, 12:30 you know, that discipline is a part of love 12:32 so I throw that in. Okay. 12:34 I would also add that sometimes we feel like 12:37 the Bible is the only thing that speaks out against it. 12:39 So we say, well, the Bible says, the Bible says, 12:42 but there's also the elements of science 12:44 and how the health issues that come in 12:46 when you are being a homosexual or even the emotions 12:50 and even the fact that family loss all this, 12:52 there's so much different risk that come to play that yes, 12:56 the Bible does, we go against it 12:57 but we can use other avenues to help people 13:00 make the better choice. 13:01 Right. 13:03 Yeah, and that's a good point, I mean, 13:04 God is not saying not to do things 13:06 just for the sake of saying not to do things, you know. 13:08 He's saying because here is a plan, there's a way 13:11 and He wants our life to be the best possible. 13:14 And so, you know, that's a good point to bring out. 13:16 So if someone is struggling with this and they are saying, 13:20 you know, I like, you know, I'm a man, 13:22 I like women but I also want to try, you know, 13:27 the same sex, you know, 13:29 reverse is someone's woman saying that, 13:31 you know, the same type of thing. 13:32 You know, what do you say to them? 13:34 You know, what do you say to them and say, 13:36 I, they're saying I just want to try it once, I'm just, 13:38 I feel like something that is gonna really increase my fun, 13:42 my sex and everything, my sex life is gonna be great. 13:45 And what you really say to them 13:46 and if they're just saying, you know, 13:48 I am still with the opposite sex, 13:50 but I just want to try, you know, this thing? 13:54 Well, I mean, as a pastor, you know, 13:57 taking every word that you just said just now. 13:59 At first I'm gonna say praise God because they say, 14:03 it's a struggle. 14:04 And for me, I'm happy that it's a struggle. 14:07 It's not something that 14:08 they are completely accepting of that, 14:09 they are opening themselves up too. 14:11 I think that any sin in our lives, 14:12 if it's a struggle for you, 14:14 that is a area where God is convicting you. 14:16 And so, I would say to that person, 14:18 you know, praise God man, 14:19 that you recognize that this is, you know, 14:22 probably not the best choice you should make for your life 14:24 and you want to make better decisions and I see that 14:26 as the conviction of the Holy Spirit in your life right now. 14:29 This has not come from you, 14:30 but God is telling you and teaching you, 14:32 trying to bring you to a better place. 14:33 I actually would be pretty comfortable 14:36 with somebody saying that. Okay. 14:38 I think too, we got to start at the point 14:40 where we are able to tell people 14:41 that the feelings you're having is natural. 14:44 You know, the Bible says, and like I said earlier, 14:46 we were born in sin and shapen in iniquity, 14:48 you know, God gave man over to a reprobate mind. 14:50 I think what we do ourselves a disservice 14:52 when we talk about salvation, 14:54 is we kind of paint this picture 14:55 as when I give my life to Christ, 14:56 all of sudden every thing bad should just disappear. 15:00 Well, Paul tells us, there's a struggle of nature 15:02 inside of you. Yeah. 15:03 You know, a baby is not bad 15:05 because he crawls over to put his hand 15:06 in the electric socket. 15:08 He is what he naturally wants to do. 15:10 He's curious. 15:11 You know, curiosity is not a sin. 15:13 It's responding to that curiosity 15:14 and we have to be able to let people know that 15:16 just because you are curious doesn't mean 15:18 that you have sin, you know. 15:20 But now that you are curious, you know, 15:21 here's what we can do not to act on those curiosities. 15:24 Right. Right. 15:26 And, you know, I work on a college campus. 15:29 I see quite a bit of, you know, 15:33 young people who are struggling with choices, 15:36 who are struggling with the things they see on media, 15:39 they are struggling with the images they hear 15:42 and the music they like to listen to, you know. 15:46 And when students come to me and they say, hey chap, 15:49 you know, I'm struggling or hey, chap, 15:52 all my friends decided that they wanted to you know, 15:56 engage in bisexual behavior. 15:59 You know, I challenge them to think critically. 16:01 A lot of times we separate emotion from thinking, 16:04 why, what's behind it, 16:07 was there something in your past, 16:08 were you molested, were you touched, 16:11 did somebody do something to you 16:13 to incite those unnatural desires? 16:17 Are you just following a trend? 16:19 Are you just wanted to do it 16:20 'cause your friendship circle decided 16:22 that everybody wanted to do it? 16:25 And really work through some of those emotions, 16:27 some of those feelings, some of those choices 16:29 and do some critical thinking about why, 16:31 what are the long term results of this 16:35 so that's what I'm gonna say. 16:36 And the fact that brought out 16:38 that this is happening on college campuses, 16:43 not just college campus but our college campuses. 16:46 It's something that we really have to 16:48 and that's what we're discussing it, 16:49 really bring it out of the dark because, you know, 16:51 this is, it's not right, you know, 16:53 biblically and we have to encourage people 16:55 to have that struggle, 16:56 you know, to fight against it, not just accept it because, 17:00 hey, everybody else is accepting it but no, 17:01 you know, this is not what God is accepting. 17:03 He wants you to get higher, higher 17:05 and better and better, you know. 17:06 If I could I think, I think we should make a point too 17:08 for the adults who are watching the show, 17:10 they may be married or people who are in relationships, 17:13 there's one thing that my fiance and I've talked about, 17:16 one of the problems that have feed into this stuff 17:18 is the lack of good heterosexual 17:22 examples of relationships 17:23 or relationship examples. 17:25 There are a lot of homes, 17:26 I grew up in a single parent home, 17:27 you know, and so matter of fact, 17:29 my mother has 11 sisters. 17:31 I grew up around all women. 17:32 I can braid here, I can give you a relaxer, 17:35 I'm being for real, you know, 17:37 that's the kind of stuff that would lead a person 17:39 towards thinking more feminine, 17:41 you know, so there has to be a balance in the home 17:43 and so like myself, my fiance, 17:45 we've said that when we're married, you know, 17:47 we will try as best as possible to exemplify 17:52 what a great heterosexual relation looks like, 17:54 you know, like don't be afraid to walk and hold the hands 17:56 and to put your arm around, you know, 17:58 your wife or hug your husband 18:00 and show them that this is what 18:02 healthy heterosexual relationship looks like 18:04 so I think that's something we should, you know. 18:06 Okay, yeah. 18:07 And just from, 18:09 just guess being a little authentic 18:10 and being straightforward, 18:12 I had a family member come to me recently 18:15 and say, hey, I'm struggling. 18:19 And trying to figure out what to do with that feeling 18:23 and I think a lot of times 18:24 we want to keep it at arm's length. 18:26 That's out there. That's over there. 18:28 But what do you do when it's your cousin, 18:31 your sister, your niece, your, you know, 18:35 a parent or whatever it may be, those things can be very... 18:39 It's not easy. 18:40 Yes, it's not easy to deal with those things. 18:42 But you know, I truly believe that part of that 18:47 is like Korey said, struggling with relationships. 18:50 They would have their heart broken over 18:52 and over and over and over by you know, 18:56 within heterosexual relationships. 18:58 So I said, forget it. 18:59 I'm just gonna go to the other side somebody who is like me, 19:02 who understands me and I think we have to exchange that 19:06 and say, yes, Brittany is like me 19:09 'cause she 's a female 19:11 and so yeah, she understands it to a certain degree 19:14 but I wasn't created to be known that way. 19:17 Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. 19:18 So... I could probably add to that 19:20 'cause I've also had another friend come to me 19:25 and what happened for her was she was abused 19:28 and abused so badly that even when she tried to engage 19:31 in other relationships with men, 19:32 it just was not working out for her. 19:35 So she just felt more comfortable with other women 19:38 and sometimes we have to really look at what is the core issue. 19:41 If this is the problem, 19:43 how do we go about helping them 19:44 get counseling or recovering from this, 19:46 so they can be able to embrace 19:49 healthy heterosexual relationships. 19:51 And with that, I mean, 19:52 if a young person is listening now, 19:54 we might want to let them know 19:55 if something has happened to you, 19:56 you want to get help, you know, find a counselor, 19:58 you know, somebody that you can fight in. 20:00 Go to your school, talk to, you know, to somebody 20:02 but you know, there's a lot of, you know, problems that we have 20:05 that stem from things that happen. 20:06 This is children that we don't think affect us 20:08 but you know, 20:09 we might need to get help that way too. 20:10 Yeah. 20:12 And there are also some issues 20:13 that we kind of bring upon ourselves 20:15 and I think about this when talking to my friend 20:16 about the whole porn industry and the whole addiction 20:18 that a lot of men, even pastors have with porn, 20:20 porn addiction and you know, I remember 20:22 he was telling me that, you know, 20:24 I think I mentioned this before that he didn't think it was sex 20:27 unless he was two girls, you know, 20:29 or some three girls whatever 20:31 and so, you know, he didn't start off that way 20:34 that the first encounter was like that. 20:36 Gradually it happened overtime 20:38 because of what he was looking at, 20:40 what he was watching 20:42 and even I know that some people say that 20:44 as you're watching these acts that happen on the screen, 20:46 you are seeing even if it's just, you know, 20:48 heterosexual, sexual encounter 20:50 as you're watching on the screen 20:51 and you are looking, 20:52 you're having to look at if you're as a man, 20:54 you happen to look at the man, you know, engage in his actions 20:56 so it would have been no, psychologically, 20:58 you start to become, you know, with some homosexual thoughts, 21:02 you know, and it arouse because of 21:03 of what you're seeing from a man 21:04 that should never happen, you know, 21:06 so, you know, you may be kind of 21:07 getting yourself into these things 21:09 and you didn't even realize, you just think, 21:10 oh, it's harmless, you know, 21:11 I'm just kind of having some fun with 21:13 you know, pleasure seeking, whatever. 21:14 But in the end you slip into this thing 21:16 and next thing you know, you're trying to experiment 21:17 to a greater and a higher degree. 21:19 And you know, you are just going after that. 21:21 Yeah, I think that's the pull of pornography in general. 21:24 I mean, it begins with just a man and a woman, 21:26 you know, having normal casual, you know, everyday sex 21:28 and then next thing you know, they're changing positions, 21:31 next thing you know, there are introducing toys, 21:32 next thing you know, introducing another person 21:34 and then next thing you know, 21:35 it's now introducing animals and all types of things. 21:37 So I mean, seriously, you know, yeah, that's what happens. 21:40 That's the pull and that's the bait of it. 21:42 And so it just keeps getting, 21:45 I don't want to use this word but for that person, 21:47 better and better and better, you know what I mean. 21:49 And so now in our day to day lives 21:51 when we are thinking about sex 21:52 and we're thinking about experimenting, 21:54 it's just like well, you know, why not. 21:56 It becomes easier and easier to do, 21:58 the more we see that. 22:00 Yeah. 22:01 Exactly, you know, you just-- 22:03 And you know, really enough is not enough, 22:04 you know, it's like a drug. 22:05 You have to get more and more and more. 22:07 And so where you really draw the line, 22:09 you know, where do you really stop, so. 22:12 Well, you said something that I think is important. 22:14 You said, you know, pleasure seeking 22:16 and you know, for our young people 22:17 I think a verse comes to mind as soon as you said, 22:20 you know, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God." 22:22 You know, no one is telling you that being, 22:24 you know, pleasure is bad, you know. 22:25 You want to enjoy life, you want to enjoy things 22:28 but that's why Christ says, seek first the kingdom of God 22:30 'cause once you seek that first, 22:32 it kind of holds everything else into subjection. 22:35 You know, if I get up and say, 22:36 I'm gonna have devotion in the morning 22:37 and before I go to bed, then late at night, 22:39 I'm gonna be a little bit less inclined 22:40 to watch pornography. 22:42 You know, I'm gonna be a little less inclined 22:43 to do these certain things 22:45 because God is fresh on my mind 'cause I sought that first. 22:47 And so, you know, we should definitely seek 22:49 first the kingdom of God and then let God allow, 22:53 you know, His Spirit to kind of point us in the way 22:55 which pleasures, you know, would be good for us, so-- 22:58 And you know, if we could be honest 23:00 and maybe this is my experience 23:02 'cause I'm working on a college campus is that 23:04 most college students, 23:05 most young people know it's not right. 23:07 But it's part of the culture, 23:10 it's part of the things to do while you are in college, 23:14 smoke, drink, have sex, experiment, 23:17 then when you get out of school, 23:18 marry a guy, go off have babies, 23:21 live happily ever after. 23:22 But it becomes such a trend 23:24 that people get stuck in that trend 23:28 and they get just something to do. 23:30 And I think we have to be a very cautious 23:32 about how we talk to our young men and our young women 23:35 and say, what are you doing today 23:38 to become the person you want to be in the future. 23:41 Are the things you're doing right now 23:43 leading and lending itself to be on the type of wife 23:47 or the type of woman or man, 23:49 young man you want to be in the future, 23:51 so start thinking about those choices, 23:53 pure choices now so that five years from now, 23:56 you're not trying to figure out how to be in a relationship 24:00 with you know with the guy or whatever. 24:02 That's such a good advice to me. 24:03 I think, you know, many of us who've had these experiences 24:06 and we shared some of our stuff, 24:07 you know, where we've gone down 24:09 and made many, you know, 24:10 many, many poor choices in my life, 24:11 you know, I never really did stop and think 24:13 okay, well, I never imagine 24:14 that I would get to the certain point, 24:15 I never stopped and thought, 24:17 okay, let me make sure I don't make, 24:20 you know, watch that first video 24:21 or do this thing here 24:23 and that's why I won't get to a bad place. 24:24 I never thought that would happen to me, you know. 24:26 So I think it's really important 24:27 for young people to watch this and realize 24:29 that you have to be even though you are young, 24:32 you have to think future wise, you know. 24:34 You have to be mature and smart to think ahead 24:36 because you're shaping your life, 24:38 you know, you, just like what you eat, you know, 24:39 you're shaping your future by what you're doing right now. 24:42 Yeah. Okay. 24:45 So now I want to go with what do you do, 24:47 I say it like that, what do you do 24:49 if you have those urges, okay. 24:52 What should you do different and I also want to ask 24:54 if you are approached by someone 24:55 who is trying to experiment with you, 24:58 you know, what do you do? 25:00 So it's a kind of two part question. 25:02 Yeah, well, I think Korey kind of alluded to it, 25:04 you know, if you're having those urges right now, 25:06 seek help, especially if you find it to be a struggle 25:09 in something that you know, 25:10 you do not want to continue in your life, 25:12 I encourage you to actually go to somebody that you trust. 25:14 But at the end of the day, Josh, I mean, 25:16 this is a task for God and God alone. 25:19 Only He can deal with, you know, 25:21 natural or unnatural tendencies, 25:23 however you want to look at it 25:24 but at the end of the day, it's something that, you know, 25:26 we're fighting against our own bodies in a sense 25:28 if I'm struggling that. 25:29 But also, if somebody is coming to me 25:31 and they are having these urges 25:33 they has, I think there has to be a delicate balance 25:35 between truth and love. 25:37 I think that love without truth is not forcible enough 25:41 and I think that truth without love is empty 25:43 and I think that we have to you know, 25:45 love that person and say, hey, I love you 25:47 no matter what you do, 25:49 no matter what happens in your life, 25:50 just as God does and it's unconditional 25:52 but at the same time I'm not gonna enable you 25:54 and I'm not gonna support you 25:56 in any habits that you engage yourself in. 25:57 Yeah. Yeah. 25:58 I definitely agree with John. 26:00 I think, one of the biggest problems of sin in general 26:02 is that we always try to do it by ourselves. 26:04 You know, you got to find people 26:07 who you can talk to. 26:08 Find people who you can hold you accountable. 26:10 And I want to real. 26:11 In my life, I'm talking as a young man, 26:13 the strength I have is people like you guys, 26:15 you know, Josh, John, dropped my boy name Sheik, 26:18 you know, that I can call and really say, 26:21 "Listen man," and I do this. 26:23 You guys know it. 26:24 "Today is a hard day, please pray for me? 26:27 Or you know, just being able to say that to somebody 26:30 kind of dissuades me 26:32 from whatever is coming up inside of me 26:34 And so don't try to fight the battle by yourself. 26:36 You know, get friends, 26:37 get accountability partners, you know. 26:39 Yeah, that's true. 26:40 I definitely have my team 26:41 that I go to as well in the struggles. 26:43 Yeah, go ahead. 26:44 And I think one of the things that a person needs to realize 26:46 is it's not going to be conquered in one day. 26:50 It might be a life long struggle 26:52 and you have to wake up every morning or wake up every, 26:55 and just constantly pray about it 26:57 and say, God, help me with this, 26:59 help me not to be placed in a compromising situation 27:03 and again, accountable partners. 27:05 And if I have someone approach me, 27:07 I can just simply tell them, I'm sorry, 27:10 that's not what I want to do. 27:12 This is, I just don't agree with it. 27:13 I just don't want to. 27:15 Find somebody else and all. 27:17 And can I jump in and say, 27:18 make sure that who you are telling 27:20 is not somebody who's going to push you 27:22 or be like, "It's okay, yeah, let's." 27:26 Make sure the person you're talking to 27:27 is somebody who you know, who is honest, 27:29 who is spiritual, 27:31 who's not going down the same road as you 27:34 so that you're not holding hands, 27:35 walking down the pathways. 27:38 I want to close with the scripture text. 27:40 Romans Chapter 1, I'm reading at verse 28. 27:42 "So it was when they gave God up 27:45 and were not even acknowledge Him. 27:46 God gave them up to doing everything their evil mind 27:49 could think of." 27:50 Remember, don't give up God. 27:52 Keep your mind straight in Him 27:53 and always remember to make pure choices. 27:55 God bless. |
Revised 2016-03-28