Participants: Pr. Joshua Nelson (Host), Brittany Hill, Kim Pearson, Korey P. Douglas, Vaughn Edmeade
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000075
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:05 may be too candid for younger children. 00:39 Hello, and welcome to Pure Choices. 00:41 I'm your host Pastor Joshua Nelson, 00:43 and you've tuned in for a great one today 00:45 because this is the one that's really talking about 00:48 the main thing, restoration. 00:50 How do you start the journey towards restoration 00:52 through sex addiction, through the past, 00:56 you know, the regret to the past, 00:58 all these type of things that we struggle with as Christians. 01:01 How do we really get on this journey to restoration? 01:04 This is going be a powerful program. 01:05 So let's begin by a word of prayer. 01:08 Heavenly Father, we ask that right now 01:10 Your Spirit will just reside with us, 01:12 cover us right now as we discuss these issues 01:15 and allow what needs to come out to come out today, 01:18 in Jesus' name we pray, amen. 01:19 Amen. 01:21 All right, let's introduce our panel. 01:23 To my left, next to me we have Vaughn Edmeade, 01:26 who is doing his master's at Oakwood University. 01:28 Yes, sir. 01:30 I'm very happy to have him here. 01:31 Also from Oakwood University, we have across the way here, 01:35 Kimberly Pearson, the associate chaplain there at Oakwood. 01:38 Next to her we have Brittany Hill, 01:39 who is a recent graduate 01:40 of the Andrews University Theological Seminary. 01:43 Next to her, we have Pastor KP Douglas, 01:45 rocking in I pray shirt. 01:47 I pray, I pray. 01:48 Yes, yes, from southeast Missouri. 01:50 He has a couple of churches over there. 01:51 So we're happy to have him. 01:53 Of course, I'm Pastor Nelson, 01:54 two churches out there in South Carolina. 01:56 So here we go, journey to restoration. 01:59 Where do you start? 02:00 Where do you begin when you are trying 02:01 to recover from mistakes of the past 02:03 and also from even addiction? 02:06 Let's just talk about that first 02:07 because a lot of times people even have a problem admitting 02:10 that they've been addicted to sex. 02:12 And I think that's really 02:13 where the devil gets a lot of Christians. 02:15 We always talk about sin in the church 02:17 and preachers preach about not sinning, 02:20 but a lot of the sin really is rooted in sex addiction. 02:23 And so let's discuss that today. 02:25 Wow. 02:26 What are some ways that you can recover 02:29 from having a sex addiction? 02:32 Well, I was going to say that the first part like you said 02:36 is identifying that you have an issue. 02:38 Yeah. 02:39 So often and I've even, you know, had some students 02:42 or young people come to me and say "Chaplain Pearson, 02:45 I pray and then right after I pray, I still fall. 02:48 And I come down for the altar call 02:50 and after the altar call, I still fall, 02:52 what's going on?" 02:54 And you know, I often say to them, 02:55 we need to identify, you know, 02:57 whether or not you may have an addiction. 02:59 If you're going out of your way to seek to satisfy those needs, 03:04 I mean, if you're having addictive behavior, 03:07 I mean, if you're spending money, 03:08 you know, just large sums of money, 03:10 the large amount of your time consumed with sex, 03:13 consumed with some of these immoral choices, 03:16 you may have an addiction. 03:17 So you need to identify that you have an addiction 03:20 and then identify what triggers it. 03:22 Are you feeling lonely? 03:24 Is it thinking about things from your past? 03:26 Are you just trying to have a good time and forget things? 03:28 And then once you figure out, I have a problem, 03:31 here's what triggers it, they need to seek help. 03:32 Yeah, I mean you have to be honest with yourself. 03:34 I mean, there are some times you make mistakes and we sin. 03:37 You know, sometimes when you're being intentional 03:39 and you know that you have to be honest 03:40 with yourself about that and know that, 03:43 "Hey, okay, yeah, I think that I could stop watching porn. 03:46 I think I can stop having sex with my girlfriend, 03:49 boyfriend whatever, you know..." 03:50 But you're still doing it. 03:52 And so now maybe you have to think, 03:53 okay, maybe I have, 03:55 there's something little stronger 03:56 hold that's on me that I need 03:57 to really do something about it. 03:59 So, Brittany, talks us about 04:00 kind of maybe some of the steps to get out of it. 04:02 Well, I would also add that we need to also go to God 04:05 and build that relationship with Him, it's very important. 04:08 And you can probably also join a sex addicts anonymous group. 04:12 You can probably find one on saarecovery.org 04:14 and there are so many of them in different groups 04:17 that are usually Christian based, 04:19 you can find them in churches 04:20 because the first step is to admit that 04:22 you are powerless over this situation 04:24 and that only God can help you, it's a 12 step process. 04:27 The next thing is to get some accountability partner. 04:30 The first issue that we usually have is we think 04:33 we can do it on our own, I don't need anybody, 04:35 I'm going to keep it to myself but that's how you fall more, 04:38 that's how you always get keep on getting trapped 04:40 over and over and over again. 04:42 Accountability partners are huge. 04:44 Have someone that you know is not in the same sin as you, 04:47 so you'll end up falling with them. 04:49 Probably have someone of the same sex, 04:51 not someone of the opposite sex 04:52 because that's how you can trip yourself up. 04:54 So with accountability partners, 04:56 if you are a porn addict, maybe you need someone 04:58 who can probably put some blocks on your websites, 05:02 probably someone who can probably get an email 05:04 with all the websites that you've recently looked at, 05:06 I mean, in the past couple of weeks 05:07 so they can be able to go through it 05:08 and hold you accountable. 05:10 Somehow be able to pray with you or even ask you, 05:12 "Hey how're you doing? How is the struggle?" 05:15 And just some basic steps like those who really help. 05:18 Okay, those are really good points 05:20 and I appreciate you bring those out. 05:22 Those are some really good things, 05:23 you're going to write down, 05:25 you know, and benchmark their success 05:28 through this process. 05:29 And, Kory, going on little further 05:30 and talk about the God aspect and how important is that way.' 05:32 Well, yeah, I kind of feel like we need to go somewhere 05:33 to the kind of valve the misconception 05:35 of the whole process of restoration. 05:38 You know, maybe the most important thing 05:40 when you finally give it to God like Kim was saying 05:42 they would say I prayed 05:43 and I still fell is you really got to trust God 05:46 that He is really going to change us. 05:48 I know myself, my problem was, with my issues is I would pray 05:52 and then I would work to change them, 05:53 and I would do everything I did thinking that 05:56 because I prayed this one time 05:57 that God is not going to empower me 05:59 to just do everything, 06:00 you know, but there's a continual prayer 06:02 and you have to continually remind yourself 06:04 that I've given this to God, 06:06 you know, and what I do now is not even me changing myself, 06:10 but because I know that God promises, 06:12 he's going to change me, I now do things in honor 06:15 of what I know he's going to do in my life. 06:17 And you've got to kind of stop looking at yourself 06:20 and focusing on getting away from that thing. 06:23 You know, just kinda live and take your mind 06:25 even off of it some times. 06:26 So instead of... And you all can chime in there, 06:28 but instead of focusing on not doing the thing, 06:32 you're saying focus on who can help you. 06:35 Yeah, and I just before I forget, 06:36 the other thing is, you know, 06:38 failure is not necessarily a bad thing like 06:40 if you pray and you trip up, 06:43 this is not the end of the world, 06:44 it's a process, okay, people fall at all the time. 06:48 You know, if I'm an artist, and any artist will tell you, 06:50 you don't just draw a masterpiece a first time, 06:52 sometimes you've got to crumple some papers up, 06:54 sometimes you got to go back and erase, 06:56 but if you pray, you got to trust 06:57 that God will take you through the process 06:59 even when you make mistakes here in along the way. 07:02 Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 07:03 And to add what they've already said 07:05 and this might be something 07:07 that we wouldn't really think about necessarily 07:09 but I think discipleship actually helps 07:12 with overcoming addictions 07:15 and because I think part of discipleship 07:18 is you giving of yourself and we all know 07:20 that is a blessing to give. 07:22 And what that allows us to do 07:23 is when we're mentoring somebody else 07:25 in the ways of Christ and when we take 07:27 what we've learned and we're now beginning 07:29 to pass it on to other people, it begins to one, 07:31 one re-force it in ourselves, 07:34 you know, but then it also kind, 07:36 it's almost a conviction on you, 07:37 also because it's like how can I be ministering 07:40 or witnessing to this person, you know, and showing them 07:43 how to overcome and I'm not, 07:44 I'm being a hypocrite and not applying 07:46 those same things to my life to help myself overcome. 07:48 So I think everything that I would sum, 07:50 I would take everything they just packaged together 07:52 and say, "Take that and begin as soon as you can 07:55 to start ministering to other people 07:56 who may be struggling with the same 07:58 or similar addictions." 07:59 I really like that one. 08:01 You know, when I think a lot of times, 08:02 especially in our churches, 08:03 we look at different people who are older than us, 08:05 who've been in the church for a while 08:07 and we think, man, 08:08 we came to discuss these things with them 08:09 or even have to watch this because they don't struggle 08:11 with these type of things. 08:12 Now if that's really true, 08:14 you know, and we hope it is true 08:15 that people have really overcome in our churches 08:17 and stuff who are older men in the church for a while 08:19 then why are they, or why are we going to them 08:23 to get mentorship or to be disciple by them 08:25 because, hey, as men we all know we all gonna, 08:28 we all have struggle with sex in some form of action. 08:31 So can I go to my older and say, 08:32 well, how did you overcome? 08:34 You know, and while this conversation is not happening, 08:36 those are important, go ahead, Kim. 08:37 Well, you know, I think one of the things there is an, 08:41 because there is a generational gap 08:43 we turn that into a spiritual disconnect. 08:45 So just because I don't understand 08:47 your generation or your culture, 08:50 does that mean that I have to stop talking to you? 08:52 Does that mean, I mean, you know, 08:54 the Bible says nothing new under the sun. 08:55 So the same stuff that my elder or my deacon 08:58 or pastor may have struggled with 09:00 are the same thing that I struggle with? 09:02 We have to remember to not get 09:05 so saved that we forget the struggle. 09:09 Or forget who we are and where we came from, 09:11 what we struggle within? 09:12 For me that's a huge thing and I know that our target, 09:15 you know, our audience is youth and young adults 09:19 but I would say to even the older, 09:21 you know, generation that's listening 09:24 talk about your process of overcoming. 09:26 Talk about your struggle. 09:28 Don't wait for the young people to come to you, 09:30 go to them and pull them to the side 09:32 and say, "Hey, I know you're struggling. 09:34 The girl is attractive, I've been where you are 09:37 and let me talk to you for a second." 09:39 As opposed to the first conversation 09:40 you have is don't have sex. 09:42 Yeah. Right, right. 09:43 And that's such a powerful point 09:44 because so many times even with the women in churches, 09:46 now y'all have this experience where you say, 09:48 "That skirt is too low or not doing the right thing." 09:50 Well, I mean you've been there before, right? 09:53 You know sister so and so, so you know, 09:55 can we not talk in a way 09:56 that's more restoring then abusing? 09:58 I think that a lot of older folk honestly 10:01 are just afraid to relive the past. 10:02 You know, that they probably feel like 10:04 well I've been delivered from this stuff 10:05 and they live as if they've never been there, 10:08 but I think they're just afraid to relive it, 10:10 you know, but when I think about it, 10:12 I don't think you should relive the past, 10:14 go back and really recount what has happened, 10:16 but at the same time you should be able 10:18 to bring out the blessings that happened in the past. 10:20 Don't go back and just think about the bad stuff. 10:22 Oh, I used to do this, I used to do that. 10:23 And the wise says, the only thing 10:24 we have to fear is forgetting 10:26 what God has done for us in the past, 10:27 and I think that's where some of the older people 10:30 should kind of overcome their fear to say, 10:32 it's not about just saying what I used to, 10:34 you know, 'cause they may be afraid of people 10:36 looking at me somewhere, but it's more to say, 10:37 "Well, look what God has done in my past." 10:39 Right, 'cause if it was you just, 10:41 you are bare knuckling and doing it, 10:42 you know, celebrate you but, I think you know 10:45 it was God doing it so lets celebrate, 10:47 I mean, in what he's has done. 10:49 Okay, someone, you want to add to that? 10:51 No, okay. Oh, go ahead, Brittany. 10:52 I was going to say I think part of 10:53 it is also some misinformation. 10:55 I don't think the issue is that older people 10:57 don't want to share it, probably young people 10:59 don't know the avenues too actually listen and hear 11:03 to help get support and recovery, 11:05 that's one thing that I appreciate 11:07 about support groups, 11:08 whatever it's for alcoholics anonymous, 11:09 sex addicts anonymous, when you go to those groups 11:12 you're going to an atmosphere of confidentiality. 11:15 When you go in there and you're evincing 11:17 and you're talking about your experience, 11:19 you know that no one's going to go out there 11:21 and tell other people. 11:22 That's what where we kinda have to do it in the church. 11:25 If I come to Kim, I'm not sure 11:27 we have that confidentiality versus 11:29 if I go to the support group 11:31 which I know might be based in our church 11:33 but if our churches should say, 11:34 "Oh, we have the support group, you can come here." 11:36 They don't know they have that place to go to. 11:39 Yeah, yeah. 11:40 I want to challenge that a little bit. 11:42 I want to challenge that little bit 11:43 because you know alcoholic anonymous, 11:45 I know some of them are faith based 11:47 but I think that the church has a different job to do than, 11:50 you know, some of these organization. 11:52 We should be able to be comfortable to say 11:54 this is what is going on knowing that 11:56 our brothers and sisters will not talk about us 11:58 and maybe just the fear that people will talk about you. 12:00 But I should be able to know Vaughn is going to XYZ, 12:03 so I can pray for him based on what he's going through. 12:05 You know, in alcoholics anonymous, 12:07 you know, I understand it's a little group 12:08 but in church, you know, 12:10 we got to be more of a support group 12:11 inside of our church. 12:13 We shouldn't have to say, let's go outside and get help, 12:16 but I should be able to have my whole church 12:18 bantering around me 12:19 and praying for me over this one issue. 12:21 You know, forget about, you know, and I would be real. 12:23 Some of my things I do want to hold confidential 12:25 but there's a lot of stuff that, 12:26 you know, you want to have people 12:28 in your corner praying for you on... 12:29 Yeah, yeah, okay... 12:31 But I want to go even further and challenge that 12:33 by saying that a lot of times young people are waiting 12:36 for the adults in the church to either approach 12:40 or to create a support group, 12:42 or my church doesn't have anything for me, 12:44 so start something for your peers. 12:47 If you need a safe space, help create that safe space. 12:50 And I want to challenge our young people 12:52 to create safe spaces on their college campus, 12:55 and within their churches, 12:57 within their pathfinder groups, or youth groups. 12:58 So they can start talking about it. 13:00 If your church is in a safe place, 13:02 start creating a space, create your own safe space. 13:05 You don't need any board approval to start. 13:06 Right. 13:08 I mean that's, you know, and that's also, 13:10 us as being young pastors 13:12 and we can really kind of start that 13:13 in our churches as well, as a challenge to me, 13:15 you know, challenge to Pastor Kory there as well. 13:18 Okay, so now as we talk about the ideals, 13:20 let's talk about the degree 13:21 of maybe what we've gone through. 13:24 And maybe about how we've recovered. 13:25 So someone who's listening and they're saying, 13:27 "Look, okay, I want to know 13:29 what do I expect on this journey?" 13:30 "You know how hard really was the recovery for you 13:32 and maybe we are recovering not always totally recovered 13:36 but we're in the process. 13:37 So let's maybe think of something to share 13:39 with the viewers, what is the hard part. 13:43 What's the hardest part, 13:44 let's say, of the recovery process? 13:46 The process... Yeah. 13:47 That's the toughest part. 13:49 It's actually going through the process 13:51 of trying to have your mind transformed and renewed, 13:55 to have this mentality 13:58 of I'm not going to place myself in this position. 14:00 When it's actually about to happen, 14:02 I'm going to actually be able to say no and stop it, 14:05 that's the tricky thing about addiction. 14:07 Addictions play on your mind. 14:10 It tells you, "Oh, it's okay, it's going to be all right. 14:12 You can do it, just one more time." 14:14 Or, "It's going to be good this time, 14:15 you never going to do it again." 14:16 Or it's going to say, "Oh, you really need to do this." 14:18 And that's what's so hard 14:20 trying to reprogram your mind to say, 14:22 "No, I don't need to do this, I can do something else." 14:25 I could probably pick my phone and call a friend. 14:27 I could probably go and play sports 14:29 or take a cool shower or something like that. 14:33 And I was going to touch on one of the things that makes, 14:35 you know, I think addictions difficult 14:38 is when you find yourself idle. 14:40 Yes. 14:42 You know, when you have time to be sitting that, 14:43 you know, there are certain things that 14:45 sometimes I'll go for months and months 14:48 without lets say doing anything that I think is necessary been. 14:51 I'll say, how did it happen? 14:53 I'm like, "Oh, because I didn't even have time 14:54 to think about doing something." 14:57 That I didn't need to, so I think that's part 14:59 of the problem like we don't find ourselves 15:03 actually doing things that are worthwhile enough 15:06 and so all of a sudden we get bored 15:08 and then all of a sudden you just start thinking about, 15:10 "Oh, yeah, well, when I used..." 15:12 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know. 15:14 And you know, I was going to say 15:15 the other part of that is self guilt. 15:18 You know, I believe that 15:20 there is the conviction of the Holy Spirit 15:23 that leads you to recognize I have a problem, 15:27 leads you to, you know, conversion 15:29 and then a conversation with God 15:32 but then sometimes that healthy guilt turns into me 15:36 beating myself up. 15:38 I messed up again, I can't get this right, 15:41 I am still struggling with these thoughts. 15:42 I may not be doing the action anymore 15:45 but the memories of the things that I used to do 15:48 or be involved in a struggle 15:50 with are still replaying in my mind 15:52 if I could just be very personal. 15:55 And I was struggling with something 15:56 and it would seem like every time I go to pray, 15:59 or have devotion, the images of things 16:02 that I had seen or expose myself to, 16:04 or to been exposed to would literally come 16:06 replaying through my mind 16:09 and I would feel so guilty like I can't pray, 16:11 I can't talk to Jesus right now. 16:13 If God only knew what I was thinking... 16:15 But the thing is God knows what I'm thinking 16:17 so that guilt sometimes put roadblocks 16:20 in the middle of your process 16:22 and, you know, sometimes you have 16:24 to give God your guilt. 16:26 Yeah, yeah, that's good. Kory? 16:28 Well, my experience is that 16:29 the difficulties of being twofold. 16:31 Number one, I forget that God is the one doing the work 16:35 and that's the hardest thing for me to remember, 16:38 this is God's job, you know,, 16:40 it's very easy to get caught up saying, 16:42 I got, I got I got, I got, I got, 16:44 you know, and even forgetting that 16:45 I'm not the only one in this fight, 16:46 God is fighting with me. 16:48 And the second one is that also for me the hardest thing 16:50 is being discouraged easily. 16:52 You know just like what Kim said with the guilt. 16:54 And I'm reminded of the verse, 16:56 you know, the kingdom suffered with violence 16:57 but the violent take it by force 16:59 is something that you've got to be 17:00 willing to fight for and die for. 17:02 You know, I'm getting married, I'm gonna fight for my fiance, 17:05 you're not taking her from me, you know. 17:07 And that's how we've got to approach, 17:09 you know, wanting to be God, we don't want to be God, 17:11 it'll be relation with God, 17:12 we got to really fight for that thing. 17:14 Yeah. I was gonna, go ahead. 17:16 Okay, sorry, I was going to add another thing 17:18 that's difficult is realizing that God still loves you. 17:22 The issues that we kind of face 17:24 when you're dealing with addictions is, 17:26 you feel so guilty, you feel like, 17:28 oh, I'm so bad to the point maybe God doesn't even love me, 17:31 that He's not even showing me any grace. 17:33 But despite the fact that you have this issue, 17:36 God still loves you and He still cares about you, 17:38 and He still wants to help you and make you better. 17:40 Oh, I'm sorry... Go ahead man, I like you to go. 17:42 You know, and the Bible talks about the fact that, 17:45 you know, He that has begun a good work in you, 17:48 you know, he will complete it, 17:49 you know and it also talks about 17:52 the difference between the just man 17:54 and the person who's unjust is just that, 17:56 the just man decides to pick himself up 17:58 every single time that he falls 18:00 and sometimes we forget about those things 18:02 because I think like you said it sounds too easy, 18:04 it sounds too simple like no, there has to be something 18:07 of my own works that I have to do 18:09 to accomplish this being right with God. 18:13 You know, and what God I think is trying to say 18:15 is "Look you don't have 18:16 the capability to make yourself right, 18:19 you really don't. 18:20 You really have to take that burden 18:22 and lay it on my shoulders, you know, and my yoke is here, 18:24 take my yoke, you know, let me perform that thing. 18:27 Let me put it in you both to will and to do." 18:30 You know... Yeah, yeah, okay. 18:31 And I was gonna add for me, what I've often been in 18:35 and kind of maybe different what you guys have said, 18:37 y'all said, y'all felt guilty and stuff, 18:39 my problem have been, 18:40 I don't even feel guilty sometimes. 18:41 Yeah, we just... 18:43 I'll just be in the place and I mean, 18:44 I don't want to recover. 18:46 I mean I've gotten so comfortable with doing 18:48 what I've been doing and stuck in that rut... 18:50 Compromising and back slip has become, 18:52 or I just stay back slip. 18:54 I mean, I don't even progress and I mean sometimes, 18:56 you know, I feel like, man, I can't even imagine 18:59 getting to the point where I used to be. 19:01 You know, so where do you go from there? 19:03 What do you, how do you really 19:05 and I guess, okay, I'll answer my own question. 19:07 Let me, so I used to ask some questions. 19:10 For me, you know, it's really been praying that prayers, 19:12 as the wise talks about praying for hatred for sin. 19:14 You know, asking and really recognizing the sin 19:15 that I'm doing even as bad I hate people 19:18 who, you know, I don't like people who kill 19:20 and people who rape, 19:21 you know, the sin that I'm doing is still a sin 19:24 that put Jesus on the cross. 19:25 Recognizing that this is what God doesn't like 19:27 and He's putting like Isaiah says, 58 says, 19:29 you know, "Putting a separation between me and God." 19:32 And I've got to remove that separation 19:33 so I get closer to him. 19:34 And then let's get back to what Kory was saying too about 19:36 your relationship with God being the forefront. 19:39 If you're craving after God 19:40 and wanting a relation with Jesus, 19:42 you can do all you can to get rid of the things 19:44 that separates you from Him. 19:46 Yeah, I was going to, I mean, just say that 19:49 because I hear that so much, what do you do 19:52 if you don't want to do the right thing? 19:53 That's right. You know, it's bad... 19:55 You know it's an addiction but you just, 19:57 you're not ready to give it up. 19:59 you're not ready to let it go because you know 20:01 what kind of change that's going to have, 20:03 you know, in your life and I think sometimes 20:05 you've got to get to the point where you're just 20:07 just sick and tired of being sick and tired. 20:08 You are just tired, you want to change 20:13 or you want better for yourself 20:15 more than you want that addiction, 20:18 or more than you want that thing. 20:20 But it's a tough place to get, it was a hard to place to get 20:23 to when you know, what's wrong but you like it. 20:26 Yeah, exactly. 20:27 Vaughn go ahead as I'm looking at Kory. 20:30 I think, you know, a man named Jim Rome says something 20:34 that's very interesting and he says, 20:36 "Disgust is one of the most powerful emotions 20:39 that you can ever have 20:41 when it's in the right context." 20:42 You know, and there's nothing like 20:44 when you finally get to a point in life 20:45 where you are actually disgusted 20:47 and fed up to go to what you were saying, 20:49 you know, with what your situation is 20:51 and when you do come to that point, 20:53 that's when you begin to turn things around, 20:55 you know, and I forgot my second point. 20:57 Sorry. 20:59 That's all right, Kory pick it up from there. 21:00 I would say, you know, in a mindset 21:03 you've got to pray for change of mindset, 21:05 and you've got to really change, 21:06 you've got to change your mind, you know, that's everything. 21:09 I have a member and I bless her heart. 21:11 She's so energetic, man, when I started to preach, 21:13 she would actually do laps around the church 21:15 and other places, but she's so energetic 21:16 and sometimes we look down on that, 21:18 but I envy her because her faith is not, 21:21 you know, rooted in XY and rules and regulations, 21:24 I'll put it that way. 21:25 But when I'm preaching, she'll yell out just one thing, 21:28 "It's already done, Pastor, it's already done." 21:31 No matter what I'm talking about. 21:33 You know, God can we stop, she's like, 21:34 "It's already done." 21:35 You know, and that's a mindset that you have to live 21:38 because she'll be the first to tell you 21:39 about the struggles in her life but in the same breath, 21:42 she'll be like it's already done. 21:44 You know, I'm reminded of the story 21:45 where the ten lepers come to Jesus 21:48 and Jesus says to them, 21:50 "Go show yourself to the priest." 21:52 You show yourself to the priest 21:54 after you're whole in that culture. 21:55 You don't show yourself to the priest before 21:57 but Jesus is telling the lepers, 21:58 while they're still lepers, 21:59 go show yourself to the priests. 22:01 So when they leave Jesus, they now have to go 22:04 to the priest with a mindset that says, 22:06 "I'm healed, or I believe that healing is possible." 22:10 And I think that we have to sometimes 22:12 force ourselves to live as if we believe 22:16 that Christ can heal us or even to live 22:18 as if we're already healed. 22:19 You know, expecting saying, 22:21 "Listen, I have the kind of faith 22:22 that says God will heal me, 22:24 I'm just gonna go live my life." 22:25 Right. 22:26 Right, okay and then, okay, you got it? 22:28 You got it? Just remember, right. 22:30 So one of the things that I think 22:33 Kim kinda brought this out is that 22:35 sometimes we do get to this point, 22:36 or you brought this out also 22:37 where we don't feel sorry for our sins. 22:41 And the thing about is that, God already knows that, 22:44 you know, and God is still loving to you 22:46 and saying, "All I need for you to do 22:48 is to admit that to me, you know." 22:50 Don't try to make yourself feel a certain way 22:53 because, just be real with the feeling that you have, 22:56 your feeling right now is that 22:57 I don't feel like doing the right thing, God. 22:59 And God is saying, "I can overcome anything 23:02 if you are willing to admit that to me, 23:03 then let's go to work." 23:05 And I can say as a pastor, as a pastor, Josh, 23:07 and I don't know if you want to share 23:09 this kind of sentiment too, 23:10 there's some Sabbaths I may not want to preach. 23:13 I'm just being real, where I don't even, 23:15 I mean I don't want to go to church, 23:16 there's some nights where I do not want to pray to God. 23:18 There's sometimes when I'm angry with Him 23:20 and I would, if He was in front of me, 23:21 I would literally yell at God, that's how I feel sometimes 23:24 because of the hard press of the struggle of the process, 23:28 but I tell Him that, when I get alone, 23:30 I say God I don't want to talk to you right now 23:32 which is crazy 'cause I'm talking to Him 23:33 and telling Him I don't want to talk to you right now... 23:35 But it's just like you are saying, 23:37 at least just staying contact with God 23:38 and be honest with Him and say, 23:40 "You told me you would change me 23:41 and it's not happening. 23:42 I need some kind of encouragement, 23:44 I need something to happen." 23:45 You know, so... Yeah. 23:46 Well, we have a few videos, we're gonna go to in a second 23:48 but I do want to ask this question, 23:50 and you want to in fact you want to say something, 23:51 you may want to factor this in, but I do want to ask you, 23:53 we're all kind of saying that, 23:55 we're all in this set, we're recovering, 23:56 we're trying to recover. 23:58 We're trying to get over the story. 24:01 Okay, the question is, 24:02 do you ever look back on the past 24:05 and say, man, I kind of miss how things used to be? 24:07 You know, you should be honest, you know... 24:09 Yeah, I think that happens every now and then, 24:10 not that you miss it 24:11 but just because of the feeling 24:13 that certain things brought you, 24:14 you know, 'cause you know what that feels like, 24:16 you know, you know... 24:17 Well, I mean the Bible says is always the war 24:19 between the flesh and the spirit. 24:20 So my flesh, misses some flesh stuff... 24:23 Maybe won... 24:24 And this is some flesh thing, but my spirit, 24:27 my spirit longs to be like Christ and stuff for me, 24:30 that's where the struggle comes in 24:32 and I just got to kill the flesh. 24:33 Kill the flesh. Envy the spirit... 24:35 You know the path you're on is bare... 24:36 Yeah, and really, and this time a little bit 24:39 I was going to say that, 24:40 you know, we have to be honest with our emotions with God 24:42 and even say to God, I missed that thing. 24:44 Well, I'm still struggling with that thing. 24:46 God is bigger than our emotions, 24:48 He created us with them, 24:49 so He's doing enough to handle them. 24:50 Yeah, amen. Okay, now go ahead, Brittany. 24:52 When I think about addiction, sometimes we have to realize 24:54 that addiction doesn't only affect you, 24:56 it's not always only hurting me situation, 24:59 it's hurting the people around you, your loved ones. 25:01 So when I think back of events and times, 25:04 it didn't just affect me, it affected my loved ones. 25:07 So even though yeah, kind of miss certain things, 25:10 but when you think of the affect that 25:11 it had not only on the development your growth, 25:14 and even now your relationships 25:15 even for the future relationships, 25:17 it affects everyone... 25:19 Yeah. Sex addiction is serious. 25:20 Yeah, it's true. 25:21 Well, that's a pleasure we're gonna have stuff. 25:23 But now we're gonna look at a couple videos 25:25 where I asked them the question, 25:27 how can a young person be pure and this is what they said. 25:31 I would say have an accountability partner. 25:33 Find somebody who you trust in completely, 25:35 someone who you see God hand and tell them, 25:38 you know, I'm struggling with this 25:40 and because I sense your spirituality, 25:42 I trust you that you can help me 25:45 gain my relationship with God to the next level. 25:49 Whenever you feel that type of way, 25:51 call them, pray with them, do whatever it takes. 25:54 Go for a walk, just do whatever it takes. 25:57 Right from the Oakwood student, right? 26:01 So have accountability partner. 26:03 Oh, Lord, that was my student. That's right. 26:06 We've mentioned that, we've discussed that. 26:08 I think it's one more we're going to watch. 26:12 I'll say keep yourself very productive. 26:14 Keep yourself very busy. 26:16 If you're always doing something then the chances 26:19 of you sinning will shrink. 26:22 Idle mind is the devil's workshop, 26:24 people say it all the time. 26:26 So you always got to be productive. 26:27 Look at Jesus, He was always productive, 26:29 He always has something to do and that stretches everywhere, 26:33 socially, mentally, physically and spiritually. 26:36 So always be productive. 26:39 That's good, being productive. Go ahead, Kim. 26:40 That's good, I was going to say when he talked about 26:42 holistic restoration, so often we try to heal 26:45 or get healed in isolation 26:47 just Lord help me fix sex, or help fix this... 26:49 But God wants to just not heal one part of you, 26:51 He wants to heal all of you. You've got to preach. 26:54 He start to working on your emotions, 26:55 or yours sin, or your lust or whatever it is, 26:58 He wants to work on all your mind, 27:00 your health, your body, your thoughts, 27:02 your emotions all of you so... Yeah. 27:04 I love that, you know, that point. 27:06 That's beautiful. 27:07 We don't have too much time but we want to discuss about 27:09 what the Bible and prayer 27:11 has to do with your restoration. 27:13 And I'll just say that, in my experience, 27:15 you know, having that early morning devotion, 27:17 having that time with God, 27:19 discipline myself to do that as much as I was disciplined 27:21 to do other things and watch other things, 27:23 do other things, discipline myself 27:25 to stay focused on that 27:26 really became a big part of my recovery. 27:28 And I believe that when you do that 27:29 God really works with you in those disciplines to honor 27:33 what you said you would do. 27:35 This is 2 Corinthians 5:17, and it just says, 27:39 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, 27:41 he is a new creature. 27:42 The old is has gone, the new has come." 27:45 How well this verse puts in, it is beautiful. 27:48 The new has come. 27:49 We have to believe that you are restored 27:51 through Jesus Christ, He's done it, He's finished. 27:54 Just like you're... It's already done. 27:56 It's already done. 27:57 Remember to always make Pure Choices. 27:59 God bless. |
Revised 2017-06-19