Participants: Joshua Nelson (Host), Brittany Hill-Morales, Kimberly Douglas, Kory Douglas, Xavier Morales
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000076A
|
00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:05 may be too candid for younger children. 00:38 Hello, and welcome to Pure Choices. 00:40 I'm your host, Pastor Joshua Nelson. 00:43 I'm so glad you decided to join us today. 00:45 We have a good one for you today, 00:46 the title is I Know the Game. 00:49 Before we get into this exciting topic 00:51 I'm gonna pause for a moment and say a word of prayer. 00:54 So let's pray, Heavenly Father God, 00:57 we just invite your spirits 00:58 here right now, speak through us. 01:00 In Jesus' name we pray, Amen. 01:02 Amen. 01:03 Well, before we get started on the topic 01:04 I like to introduce the panel. 01:06 We have a great panel as usual. 01:08 I got my friend, my boy, 01:10 Pastor KP Douglas on my left here. 01:13 He's a pastor here, actually in a Missouri? 01:16 South East Missouri. 01:17 South East Missouri, there you go. 01:18 So happy to have him here with us. 01:20 Well, we also have over here, 01:21 the married, happily married couple here. 01:25 You just got married right in September? 01:27 Yup. September 1st. Okay. 01:28 We have Brittany Hill-Morales and her husband Xavier Morales. 01:33 So happy you all here with us. 01:34 And unfortunately, I had to separate 01:36 the two married couples here. 01:37 But we have Kimberly Douglas. 01:42 All right, and we said your last name from before, okay. 01:45 So we have a good, good panel and of course, 01:46 I'm Pastor Nelson, I have a beautiful wife, 01:49 her name also is Kimberly. 01:50 And unfortunately, she is not here 01:52 so I'm the odd one out here. 01:54 But we're so excited about this topic 01:56 and this new season because 01:58 this season we're going to try to direct lot of our topics 02:01 to the older generation, if you would. 02:04 We want to talk more to the adults. 02:07 We understand that lot of the ones 02:08 before were geared towards younger people. 02:11 But we want to talk to the middle age, 02:12 the older who we know still also struggle 02:15 with making pure choices. 02:17 And so we want to address these programs to them. 02:20 And so we're gonna get start today with this topic of 02:23 I Know the Game, okay, I Know the Game. 02:25 And I kind deal the game because 02:27 I know this is part of my testimony, 02:28 where God has taking me from this issue, 02:31 this under culture of sexual promiscuity 02:35 of just doing what you feel is right 02:37 as oppose to what you know the Bible says. 02:39 But first, we want to start with talking about the culture, 02:43 the culture that exist today, the sexual culture 02:45 that exist today in our society. 02:48 Let's start there first 02:49 and then we'll go into a little deeper. 02:51 So let's talk about what is the culture, 02:53 what is the sexual culture? 02:55 We watch TV, we watch shows, and hear things on the radio 02:58 wherever the case may be. 02:59 What is the culture, the sexual culture today? 03:04 I am going to start with Pastor Douglas. 03:05 Go ahead. 03:07 Well, sex really is the culture. 03:09 I mean, it's in every thing, 03:11 it's been interwoven into everything. 03:12 Basically, the term goes 03:14 and I'm not sure if you've heard before, well, sex sells. 03:17 So, you know, right now it didn't matter what it is, 03:21 a bar of soap, hamburgers, water. 03:23 Right. 03:24 You know, sex is some way attached to it. 03:26 And you know, I am not going to lie, 03:28 sometimes the ads do kind of make you 03:29 want to buy the stuff a little bit more, you know. 03:31 But we, we have been inundated 03:33 with just a lot of sexual material. 03:36 And it didn't just, it didn't just 03:38 influences us to buy more, 03:40 but it also influences how we view relationships, 03:43 how will we view sex, and when to have sex, 03:45 when not to have sex. 03:46 Our whole lives really are determined by what we, 03:49 what we been watching, media, television, you know, movies, 03:52 music, everything, so... 03:54 So, let's talk about that, 03:56 with the media and what you watch on TV. 03:58 How does that create a culture 04:00 for what people do in their everyday relationships, 04:03 how they act, how they behave 04:04 with their significant other, you know. 04:07 I want, Brittany, 04:09 if you could talk a little bit about that. 04:10 Okay, I was gonna say something. 04:12 Media is telling us that sex is fun, 04:14 you do it if you like a person, 04:17 if you think they're attractive, 04:18 you do it if you like, like, like them, 04:21 and if you have this inclination 04:23 that you might love them but you're not there yet. 04:26 Then if you definitely love them 04:27 then you definitely should be having sex too. 04:30 And only time it really stops when you get married. 04:32 So it's like, sex is fun, 04:33 you do it in all these different avenues. 04:35 And our TV shows we watch, 04:38 they having sex in the big movies to move in, 04:40 and to have more sex, 04:42 and that's what it's really about right now. 04:45 So we really see a reversal of really 04:46 how it should be, you know. 04:47 I mean, you're saying that before you get married, 04:49 you have all the sex, so when you get married its, 04:52 there's no more sex anymore, you know, its reversal. 04:55 What you feel about that, Kim? 04:57 I think that because its, it appears in so many places, 05:02 whether its on TV or on billboards, in books, 05:06 it's like, no matter where you go, 05:09 you're seeing this same message, 05:11 it feels good, do it. 05:12 Right. 05:13 Don't think about repercussion, don't think about anything. 05:17 Just if it feels good, go ahead and do it. 05:20 And think about, actually, think about after 05:23 if think about at all. 05:24 You know, I think it has more than, 05:27 it's more to do than with then just sex. 05:29 It's more than just sex in our culture. 05:31 It's like you're saying, it's just about feeling good. 05:33 You know, whatever feels good, you know, 05:35 I'm gonna go and do it. 05:37 You know, if I can kind of testify 05:39 it's not really a bad thing. 05:40 But I am in New York Knicks fan, 05:42 you know, I am be real, there's some... 05:44 I cannot afford to really go To New York Knicks game 05:46 but I enjoy the Knicks. 05:47 And so I will work really hard 05:50 to make sure I can go to a Knicks game 05:51 because I enjoy, you know, enjoy the Knicks. 05:53 And that is how it is in every facet of our culture. 05:57 It kind of tells you, you know, however you like it, 05:59 if you enjoy you should do it, you know, 06:01 don't let anybody tell you what can and can't enjoy. 06:04 And so you know, 06:05 we've come to this culture where, you know, 06:07 sex is an enjoyable thing, you know, 06:10 it's just one of those other enjoyable things. 06:12 And unfortunately, it's also one of those things a little, 06:14 may be a little bit harder to shake, you know, 06:16 once you have enjoyed it, so. 06:18 Yeah, It's not really a thing of you know, 06:20 oh, I shouldn't be doing this at all, oh, 06:22 this is just part of what I do, you know. 06:23 And sadly we're looking today, this is just what you do. 06:26 You have sex with whoever you want to, you know, 06:29 for a second date, that's just what it is, 06:31 that's the culture. 06:33 In fact, and you were saying something about this earlier 06:35 about having your identity 06:37 being attach to your action as sex. 06:40 As an adult, you know, you should be having sex, 06:42 that's just what is assumed that you should be doing. 06:45 You have a boyfriend or a girlfriend friend for 06:48 n-number of months or years 06:49 or whatever the case may be, 06:51 of course, you're having sex. 06:52 And who would think not, you know. 06:54 And it's so permeating that our culture that 06:57 its hard to even talk against it 06:59 because it just seems so odd. 07:00 I mean, you know, you hear it in the news or you know, 07:02 it's just an actual talk, 07:05 discussion of sex within a marriage relationships 07:08 is kind of laughed upon now. 07:09 You know, from what I can see. 07:11 X, you want to add some more to the discussion? 07:13 It's just, you know, 07:14 the culture has taken it it's effect from, 07:16 you know, gradually, over time and if it feels good 07:19 then we say, if it feels good, do it. 07:21 You know, and they taken a lot of, 07:24 a lot of it from cars like, 07:26 if you going to buy a car you got to sample it, 07:27 you got to test drive it, 07:29 and you got to check it before you're going to purchase. 07:31 And I've heard many people 07:33 kind of put the two and two together 07:34 where if I'm gonna get married, you know, if I'm gonna see, 07:38 if I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with this person, 07:40 only having sex with this one person. 07:42 I got to make sure it feels good and see, 07:45 because if they are not good then we can't do any thing. 07:47 Yeah. 07:48 So you base everything based off of sex? 07:49 Well, I would even take it may be little bit further 07:51 because I feel like culture now is saying that even marriage, 07:55 it may be not, it may not be the best thing 07:58 because marriage now kind of hinders you 08:00 from living that lifestyle of doing what you want, 08:02 sampling what you want. 08:04 So what we're also seeing is that, 08:05 that trend wear people like, I don't need to get married, 08:08 I don't want to get married 08:09 because marriage will kind of hold me back 08:11 from enjoying the things that I want to enjoy. 08:13 You know, we also think about 08:14 marriage as that ball and chain, 08:16 you know, getting tied down, everything changes. 08:18 Look, what we said that in the beginning, you know. 08:19 And it's kind of true, you know, 08:21 you know people really think they're gonna get married 08:23 to have sex all the time, they are crazy. 08:27 You know, so this is not gonna happen. 08:29 So just get that out of your mind. 08:31 Its not gonna happen all the time. 08:32 But you know, we have that idea that, 08:34 you know, we can do what we want, 08:36 and things like marriage that are so permanent 08:38 will put a stop to that, so... 08:40 Yeah. 08:41 Okay, so you know, 08:42 we talked about the culture in society now. 08:44 You know, there's a story that I've always heard of, 08:46 a hotel that reported their sales of adult videos 08:51 happened at be during at men's... 08:54 Christian men's conference, you know. 08:57 So how has the society sexual culture 09:01 permeating the churches culture? 09:03 Is there a culture of sexual promiscuity in the church? 09:07 What do you think? 09:09 I definitely think so. 09:10 I definitely think so. 09:12 Yes. 09:15 I think it is, I think that there, 09:16 I think that, you know, 09:18 there's a lot of sins that we tend to categorize 09:20 as church and hold up. 09:22 And I think that may be 09:23 the most prevalent sins in our church is our sexual sins. 09:26 Oh, yeah. 09:27 You know, and, off the record, 09:30 which is not really possible since, 09:32 but you know that I know places where couple swing in church. 09:36 You know, for those who don't know 09:38 what swing means, Google it. 09:39 And you know, and places where you know, 09:42 the same kind of daring habits you see outside, 09:45 you also see inside. 09:46 And I think it is in large in part to the fact that 09:50 we kind of separate our church life 09:52 from our personal life. 09:53 You know when I think of the children of Israel, 09:55 in the Bible, God was in and through 09:58 every facet of life. 09:59 You know, but today, you're kind of a Christian more 10:03 or so during divine hour, 10:05 if you come to prayer, meeting, you know, 10:07 whenever there's an evangelistic meeting, 10:09 whenever there's special days. 10:11 But for the most part, 10:12 the time spend outside the church, 10:14 you kind of live like you're outside of church, you know. 10:17 So it think that that's kind of been, you know, 10:20 influence in this culture and basically, 10:23 helping it to permeate the church as well. 10:25 Okay. 10:26 So, the argument core is making that there is a culture, 10:30 subculture in the church 10:31 and may be it's a lot more than we think 10:32 of people who are actually active, 10:35 they've become active and they just have not 10:37 had the desire to stop, 10:40 and they just continually, you know, 10:42 dating around the church. 10:43 I mean, I don't know, for me it's kind of how I always... 10:45 Well, I'll say like this, 10:47 when I begin to go down that road, 10:48 I began to open my eyes towards reality out there. 10:50 I mean, people in the church are having sex 10:54 and it's not big deal, you know, 10:56 its not looked as a big deal, 10:57 it's not looked as this is what we do, you know. 10:59 And so its easy to find a Christian girl who will, 11:03 you know, do whatever even though 11:04 "she is supposed to be a Christian," you know. 11:07 Is this been something you all seen as well? 11:09 Definitely. 11:10 I can remember at my school, 11:13 hearing stories about them having wild sex parties, 11:16 where that's all they were doing, 11:17 having a huge sex party. 11:20 And even though like, some of my friends 11:23 that because they were in relationships 11:26 and they were strongly convinced that 11:28 they were gonna end up in marriage, 11:30 they said, "Why not? 11:31 We're gonna get married anyways, lets have sex." 11:34 I think part of it is people confuse sex with intimacy, 11:38 so they're saying, lets be intimate, 11:39 lets be together, 11:41 lets really draw closer into this relationship, 11:43 and the best way to do so is to have sex. 11:46 That's not true, 11:47 and that's what is happening with so many people 11:51 and they end up breaking up 11:52 and then they have all the heart break 11:54 and the heartache. 11:55 But that's basically where we're going right now 11:57 where some people feel that you should do it 11:59 because that's the intimate from, 12:01 they're going to get marry, God told them. 12:03 It was in some sign, in some book. 12:06 Or for other people, it's, okay, 12:08 if I'm gonna marry you and be with you, 12:10 I need to know if its gonna be good. 12:12 Because sex has this level of importance now, 12:15 I would say, that what it is. 12:17 Sex determines if you are experienced, 12:21 it determines if you're this, if you're that. 12:23 It has that level of importance that 12:26 I'm not gonna marry unless I know I'm gonna be satisfied. 12:28 Yeah. 12:30 And it's everywhere, we see there everywhere. 12:32 Its talked about every where else but the church, 12:34 so there is really no, 12:36 you have no parameters of how you should speak about it, 12:38 how you should feel about it, 12:39 because the church isn't saying anything about it. 12:41 And so you get what, you get your conversation 12:43 or vocabulary from the society 12:46 and the movies you watch, what not. 12:47 And so I believe to me, 12:48 it plays a part in how we view it. 12:50 Because what you're saying is all true. 12:52 I mean, you know, I was there, right? 12:53 I mean, some of us were there. 12:55 I mean, I am not just the only one, you know. 12:56 I mean, I was there and I felt like, 12:58 you know, of course, 12:59 the most important thing is, is the sex gonna be good, 13:02 you know? 13:03 And that become, you know, really became to consume 13:06 my mind and my life. 13:08 So lets add little more to this, you know, 13:10 what else is out there, what else is going on that 13:13 maybe viewers needs to be aware of 13:15 in terms of the culture in the church, 13:17 sexual culture in church. 13:18 Kimberley, you go ahead. 13:20 I know some time ago, I came across this article 13:22 and I don't remember the title exactly, 13:25 but the gist of it was single, 13:28 saved, and having sex. 13:31 And I mean, the title says it all 13:34 already that you know, they... 13:37 and then there's something else, 13:40 it was talking about, 13:42 I think it was geared towards African-American women. 13:45 And the gist of that piece was you know, 13:50 we've been in the church, we go to church, 13:52 we can't find mates, 13:55 and so we're just going to be single 13:59 and we're going to be sexually active, 14:01 but we're still going to church. 14:03 And you know, that's to me that's the danger of it, 14:07 or one of the dangers when you began to rationalize 14:10 'but I'm still in church', you know. 14:13 So that its definitely there, the undercurrent is there 14:18 but I think that because there's that rationalization 14:22 it leaves it at the, you know, 14:24 as in undercurrent as oppose to being addressed by, 14:28 you know, church. 14:29 So lets... 14:30 Xavier, I want to transition, we came to the danger, 14:32 I like what you're saying there. 14:33 The dangers of this culture, 14:36 what are the issues that can arise 14:37 from this type of mentality, you know? 14:40 What are the pit falls, if you would, 14:43 of an individual who just saying, look, 14:44 I know the game, man, I know how it is, I got this. 14:47 I've had sex before, it's nothing to have it again, 14:50 you've already started on this road. 14:51 We're gonna get married anyways, 14:53 you know, so why not? 14:54 What are the dangers of this? 14:56 I think like, you know, for me, 14:57 I've had a past too, you know. 14:59 And sex feels good, sex is good. 15:02 Hallelujah. 15:03 Finish? 15:05 But the thing is we don't understand 15:07 or we choose not to understand 15:09 the biblical principles behind that. 15:11 And that they're not in place just to hinder you 15:14 but they are there because it does cause, 15:15 if you doing, you know, 15:17 doing the things in a way you shouldn't been doing, 15:18 it does cause a physiological 15:20 and psychological damage to you. 15:22 You know, your connect, you essentially, 15:24 even scientist have shown that chemically, you change, 15:28 interchange chemicals where piece of views 15:30 within that person and vice-versa. 15:32 You know, you're essentially causing more harm to yourself 15:35 just to feel good, you know. 15:37 And the thing is you can't just do it once, 15:39 if it feels good once you got to keep on doing it. 15:42 And it turns into other addictions like pornography. 15:45 You know, just the ramifications 15:48 out of that one time that just may feel great, 15:51 the ramifications are endless 15:53 and it isn't until you hit a wall that, 15:57 and some people don't ever hot a wall. 15:58 They're walking, come, you know, as something else. 16:00 But I personally hit a wall, and I understood that you know, 16:04 these things are causing me more damage than good. 16:07 And while waiting for the right person 16:09 was extremely difficult, it was well worth it. 16:14 And I love that because of course, that's what, 16:16 it says in the Song of Solomon, 16:18 not to awaken love before it's time. 16:19 And I think that for me now, 16:21 I realize that if I can plea with someone else 16:24 who is struggling, you know, 16:26 that going down that road, 16:28 or those who even have gone down that road, 16:31 to not even to continue 16:32 because it is hard to close that door. 16:35 Once it's been opened it is hard to close that door. 16:39 I like to say, it's hard to stop the engine 16:40 once you start it, you know, 16:42 it's hard, it's hard, it's hard. 16:43 Because once you start down that road 16:45 you had actually done some physiological things 16:47 where you have not connect to yourself 16:49 literally with somebody else. 16:51 So let's add a little more, 16:52 let's talk about the dangers of this. 16:54 I will probably also add that you have this danger of 16:58 if you're Christiana and then you're Christian couple, like, 17:00 maybe it's your first time you guys have sex. 17:02 Now you feel this pressure of, I have to work things through 17:05 and stay with this person. 17:07 There could be so many red flags 17:09 but because you guys have had sex like, 17:12 I have to be with person 17:13 because if break up with this person, 17:15 I mean, someone have to sleep with someone else. 17:17 And that means I'm gonna be adding numbers to the table. 17:21 So you have this pressure of, okay, 17:23 I have to figure out how to stay with this person. 17:26 And that's the pressure that you don't want 17:28 during the daring stage. 17:30 The daring stage should just be fun, 17:32 without that extra tie of frustration of okay, 17:36 I know he hit me but he has my virginity, 17:39 so we should probably stay together. 17:42 Or even for, I'm the guy, yeah, what if this happens, 17:47 I have to be with her, I have to do this. 17:49 There's that struggle in the relationship 17:53 that doesn't need to be there 17:55 and that's a huge danger because I know a few friends 17:58 who've had that pressure, 17:59 we have to work it out, we have to figure it out, 18:01 we have to do something. 18:02 And don't had, having a baby in the midst of that. 18:04 I was just, 18:06 I was just thinking that because, I mean, 18:10 the child is the blessing, yes, but then when that child, 18:13 you know, has to potentially grow up in the home 18:17 where mom and dad, you know, 18:20 it was just the one night thing or it, 18:22 was just the casual relationship, and you know, 18:25 we just had sex. 18:26 There's no depth, no foundation to that. 18:29 Now, not only are you affected by that 18:32 but you're also affecting this child. 18:36 X, you want to say something? 18:37 Oh, yeah, I think too, 18:40 because if we compartmentalize God, 18:42 it remove the sin aspect of certain elements. 18:45 You know, sex is beautiful, sex was created, you know, 18:48 we have been gifted as humans 18:52 to be able to partake in the creation process 18:54 by we producing. 18:56 And we're therefore, 18:57 taking the sin element out of it 18:59 because we find justification in the Bible say, hey, 19:02 God created sex, 19:03 or look at the Song of the Solomon, you know. 19:05 We twist certain aspect of scripture to be able to, 19:08 to feel better about ourselves, when the reality, 19:10 the damage is within us not the actual act of sex. 19:13 And therefore, you know we've taken something beautiful 19:16 that is meant to create masterpieces, works of art... 19:18 Complete the image of God, really. 19:20 Yeah, and just completely decimate it into 19:23 something that feels good. 19:26 I think another rescue we run. 19:29 Well, I put it this way, I think everything in life, 19:31 success in any part of life is about balancing expectations, 19:35 which is what you definitely learn about relationship. 19:37 Relationships work 19:39 when expectations are balanced and met. 19:41 You know my wife expects something of me 19:43 and I don't do it, you know, she's just not going to happy. 19:46 It's gonna be a problem for me. 19:48 But you know that they wanted, 19:49 the issues about pre-marital sex, 19:51 you know, even this culture of sex, 19:54 sexual perversion is that 19:55 it creates unrealistic expectations. 19:58 Same thing as if you know, once you gets into pornography, 20:01 once you have multiple partners, you know, 20:02 multiple people are liking, you have this person 20:05 who's more experience, that person is not. 20:06 And by the time you get married, you know, 20:08 you not have to balance those expectations, 20:11 you're now gonna have unrealistic expectations 20:13 with someone knows, you know and... 20:15 That's when you gonna start trying 20:17 about to make sure it's gonna be the same. 20:18 And I don't know the numbers but I believe, you know, 20:20 most divorces happen because first, finances, 20:23 and then if I'm not mistaken, the second reason is usually 20:26 for you know, not having pleasure 20:27 or not be satisfied sexually, you know. 20:29 And so, you know, 20:31 that's basically one of the danger, 20:33 we put this unrealistic expectations 20:36 on each other and ourselves. 20:38 Okay, so lets go and talk about some of the solutions, 20:41 some things we can do to help to not go down that same path, 20:46 to kind of go against the culture, 20:48 go against the grain. 20:50 What are some things that we can say 20:52 and what something that 20:53 we would like to been said to us 20:55 for those of us who have been struggling with this, 20:56 I said that me, I was one, I was one. 20:59 I was in there. 21:01 So what some things that we could say 21:03 to those who are struggling? 21:05 Go ahead, go ahead, take it on that, take a start. 21:08 First of all we got to acknowledge 21:09 the spiritual that is just the spiritual problem. 21:12 It's not something we're just going to be able to say, 21:14 here's 10 steps, walk yourself in this thing. 21:17 I think at the root of it, 21:18 it's definitely an identity issue. 21:21 And our identity as human beings 21:23 are no longer wrapped up in God. 21:25 That's the bottom line. 21:26 If we're, we said in the beginning, you know, 21:28 its all about pleasing ourselves being selfish, 21:31 this is exactly what Satan says to Adam 21:33 and Eve to go to Eve really in the garden. 21:35 He says, listen, you can make yourself a God. 21:38 You think about all the movies we've watched about the Gods, 21:41 who are not God, 21:42 their number one thing is to be worshiped and to be pleased. 21:46 And I believe that every time we, you know, 21:49 we indulge in his identity of being these Gods 21:52 that we will set out and rule our lives 21:54 basically trying to please ourselves. 21:56 And this is something that we have to admit 21:57 that we have a problems as humans that is spiritual, 22:01 where we want to be God, we want to be pleased. 22:04 We can at least start there that we began to at least 22:07 give that over to God and say, listen, 22:10 I want my identity first of all to be wrapped up in you 22:12 and I realize you're a pure God and because you're pure God, 22:16 I can make pure choices. 22:19 I think, I wanted to jump off of that, I think to, 22:22 one of the things, you were saying, 22:24 just admitting to yourself, you know, been okay with it. 22:28 One thing that my parents always taught be growing up 22:30 that I didn't follow, that's why I made 22:32 not so pure choices that I made, 22:35 was the fact of dating in groups. 22:37 You know, acknowledging the fact that you know, 22:40 I like sex, and left with a woman, 22:43 I might, you know, make some mistakes. 22:45 So rather than give way to that give the devil a foot hold, 22:49 you know, step back and just, you know, go out, hang out, 22:52 you know. 22:53 And the beautiful thing about it is that 22:54 if you both have the same kind of friends 22:56 or the same friends, you can all go together. 22:58 And you know, have a great time without need of feeling guilty 23:03 by yourself or feeling you know like, 23:06 probably I should have done it differently. 23:07 But I'm just group dating, you know, you out in groups 23:10 and hang out having, going bowling. 23:12 Whatever it may be but just 23:13 I will say that's what worked for me. 23:15 Okay, I like that. 23:17 And we're actually running out the time, 23:18 we have to do a part two. 23:19 But this is good. 23:21 You want to add to that? Go ahead, go ahead. 23:23 Okay. 23:24 As a adult the main thing for adults, what do you do. 23:28 I would say two things, know you reason 23:31 and make a decision too and stick with it. 23:34 What helped me not to have sex by teenage years was 23:38 I knew that I didn't want to get pregnant 23:40 and so I make sure that despite all the handsome guys 23:43 that came through, 23:45 I was not gonna engage with them 23:46 because I don't want to get pregnant. 23:48 And then with Xavier, 23:50 I didn't want to be the person that cause them to fall. 23:53 I knew my reason 23:55 and despite how close we got in certain situations, 23:57 yes, I'll put on some glass, 23:59 I said no because I didn't want to be that person 24:02 that made his relationship with God struggle. 24:04 So whatever your reason is, that's the first thing, 24:07 if you want to make a decision to abstain from now on 24:10 not have sex, know what the reason is 24:12 and make a decision to stick with it 24:14 despite what temptations come through. 24:16 Yeah. 24:17 And I'll be honest with you, you know, 24:19 it was a tough you know, engagement time was tough, 24:22 you know, it was hard to hold out 24:23 because you say, hey, we gonna marry anyways, you know. 24:26 But... Yeah. 24:28 But I mean, you know, this is what we have to do 24:31 to keep ourselves pure before God's eye. 24:34 And you know, some people could be watching us, saying, well, 24:37 you guys are married now so you know, 24:39 of course, you all can talk like this now. 24:40 But its hard when you are not and it is, 24:43 and we were, you know, just there. 24:44 I mean, I just got married a year ago, 24:46 you got, Kory got married few months ago. 24:47 So we know the struggle. 24:51 So this is another question I want to ask 24:52 and I know we're getting towards the end. 24:56 Can God really take away those urges? 25:00 I believe He can. 25:02 I think that and this less, you know, 25:04 this not just about sex, we're not saying this. 25:06 I believe that, you know, we have a wrong view of God, 25:10 when we even ask questions like, 25:12 can He take away the urge? 25:14 God's main goal 25:18 is to save my soul, to get me to heaven. 25:20 So He can, of course, He can take it away, you know. 25:22 But it's when will He take it away, 25:24 how will He take it away. 25:26 I believe that even of the things 25:28 we can do to kind of help ourselves along the way 25:31 is may be not to think so deeply about the problem 25:35 and how God's gonna solve the problem, you know. 25:38 When I say to God, I want my identity be wrapped up in you, 25:40 I want to give myself over to you, 25:42 doing your thing on a daily basis, 25:44 I don't go outside and start thinking, 25:46 oh, my gosh, 25:48 I'm a sex addict, what I'm I gonna do today? 25:50 Because I'm really said to God, 25:52 I want you to take this situation. 25:53 You know, what I am saying? 25:55 And so, yeah, God has the power. 25:56 The question may be is like, do you have the power 25:59 or do you have the ability, the faith to say, 26:01 I'm just gonna relax and let God do exactly 26:05 what He says, and I know He can do. 26:07 Can God take away sexual sin? 26:09 Can God part Red Seas? 26:12 Can God you know, rain manna from heaven? 26:15 You know what I am saying? Of course, He can. 26:17 The question is not about what God can do, 26:19 it's about what are you willing to allow God to do. 26:21 Okay, and I wanted to take another side of that, 26:23 I know I'm kind of asking some question. 26:24 But I feel like 26:26 sometimes God will allow you to go through the urges 26:27 because he wants you to suffer through it. 26:30 You know, he said to Paul, my grace are efficient for you, 26:31 you know, even in Steps to Christ, you know, 26:33 he talks about the power of the will, you know, 26:36 us deciding to make a change and pressing forward. 26:41 So that you know that's where I will count with that, 26:42 I believe you can but also I believe that sometimes 26:44 if just because its not, you still have the urge, 26:46 it doesn't mean you suppose to act on it. 26:47 It still means there's allowing for power 26:51 that God is giving you to exercise 26:53 to fight against the, those urges. 26:54 Or just that side. Let your wife talk, man. 26:57 Absolutely. 26:58 No, I was just going to say the beautiful thing about 27:01 how God works too is that, look at us sitting here now, 27:07 you know, we're not just talking based on theory 27:10 or some good thing that we've heard 27:13 but we are speaking based on experience. 27:15 And so God is able to take the struggles that we've had. 27:19 Because imagine, if he took away the struggles 27:20 and you didn't have to, you know, 27:22 goes through any thing 27:23 then you have no story to share. 27:26 And then the people watching, 27:27 God knows what they would be watching 27:29 because it wouldn't be based on anything substantial. 27:32 So because of the trails, you know, there is substance. 27:35 And in reality, there are still struggles even now, 27:38 as we're married. 27:39 And we're going to have to talk about that little more, 27:41 I think that this is a good subject. 27:42 We haven't got to talk to even 27:43 a lot of what we wanted to discuss on this topic 27:46 but I think that at the end of today, 27:49 you have to fight hard to do what God has called you to do. 27:53 He's called us to be pure, 27:54 he's called us to make pure choices. 27:56 And so I hope that you've liked this discussion, 27:58 continue to discuss it even more 28:00 in your churches, in your groups. 28:01 God bless. |
Revised 2016-06-16