Participants: Timothy Lawson (Host), Brittany-Hill Morales, Jacques LaGuerre, Myesha Lawson, Xavier Morales
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000090A
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00:06 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:08 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:10 may be too candid for younger children. 00:46 Welcome to Pure Choices. 00:48 I am your host Timothy Lawson, 00:49 and I have brought some special guests with me. 00:52 I am going to start right here from the right, 00:53 this is Jacques LaGuerre, and this is Brittany Morales, 00:57 and this is Xavier Morales, 00:59 and this is my lovely wife Myesha Lawson. 01:03 And our topic today is one of my favorite 01:06 because it's something that I had to go through 01:08 and something I had to deal with. 01:10 The title is, we'll see if you can guess it, 01:12 the title is the honeymoon is over 01:15 but the battle still rages. 01:17 The honeymoon is over but the battle still rages. 01:19 And what we're going to be talking about 01:21 is how does experience in lust or struggling with lust, 01:26 what effects does it have on the marriage covenant 01:29 after you get married. 01:31 It's excited. 01:32 I am excited about it right now. 01:34 Because going through my life 01:36 and doing a lot of different things in life 01:41 that I should not have done, 01:43 you know, you pay for the consequences later 01:44 but praise the God, 01:46 He is a restorer. 01:47 And so on that note, we are going to pray 01:49 and then we are going to get right into our discussion, 01:51 so bow your heads with me if you please. 01:54 Dear kind and gracious loving heavenly Father, 01:57 we thank You for gathering us here today, 01:59 we thank You for our viewers, 02:01 and we just ask that Your Holy Spirit 02:02 will lead us and guide us 02:04 as we discuss this most sacred topic 02:06 in Jesus' name, amen. 02:08 Amen. 02:09 So today we're going to be talking about lust 02:11 but we can't talk about something without defining it. 02:14 I love definitions. 02:15 If you can't define something, then you don't know what it is. 02:18 So what is lust? 02:20 I think lust is a schizophrenic view of love. 02:23 Schizophrenic view. 02:25 Okay, explain it. 02:26 Well, you know, sometimes the definition of love 02:30 in God's standard is beautiful, you know, it's selfless. 02:34 When I say schizophrenic view of love 02:35 that's the view that the world has nowadays where, 02:39 you know, they keep changing the definition. 02:42 I love you if you do this, I love you for this, 02:44 I love you for that. 02:45 It's never, you know, it tends to be, 02:47 you know, just completely contorted. 02:50 So that's why I say it's a schizophrenic view of love 02:52 because you never know which angle it's coming from, 02:55 and what you have to do to receive it or give it. 02:58 I want to hear everybody's definition. 03:00 So everybody's got to chime in here, 03:02 nobody's going to be able to sit and smile 03:04 and just look nicely, 03:05 everybody's going to talk, all right. 03:07 So, Brittany, lust versus love. 03:10 My definition of lust 03:12 is desiring what you don't have in ways 03:17 that you shouldn't have it. 03:19 Explain that one too? I like that. 03:21 So lust is having a strong physical attraction to someone 03:26 who is not your spouse, who isn't the person 03:30 who you are spending the rest of your life with 03:33 in that marital covenant. 03:35 I see this gorgeous young man passing by, 03:39 and I am just looking at him, 03:41 and I don't know if most women do this 03:43 that their mouth starts watering, 03:45 and you start having images in your head of all the things 03:47 that could possibly happen if you could get that person, 03:50 just for one night. 03:51 It's desiring what you don't have 03:54 in ways that you know you shouldn't have it. 03:56 Wow, wow, Jacques? 03:59 I think lust could be defined as 04:02 wanting to satisfy a natural desire 04:05 in a way that it's not pleasing to God. 04:07 I like that. Explain that for me? 04:09 Well, God has given us all desires for communion, 04:14 for deep spiritual, emotional, and physical communion 04:17 with members of the opposite sex. 04:19 But He has a special way and a special time 04:23 that those desires can be fulfilled. 04:25 And I think it becomes lust 04:28 when I take that desire that God has given me 04:31 and then I try to fulfill it in a way 04:33 that He hasn't ordained. 04:35 So I am lusting after a young woman 04:40 who is not my wife, 04:42 I am lusting after this, I am lusting after that, 04:45 you can lust after power, you can lust after success. 04:48 The children of Israel, 04:49 they lusted for food in the wilderness. 04:51 They didn't want manna, 04:52 they wanted what Egypt had to offer. 04:55 So I think that when we understand 04:57 how dangerous lust is, 04:59 then we will flee from lust as 2 Timothy 2 says. 05:04 The children of Israel were crazy too, 05:05 I would have ate that manna, 05:06 tasted like honey the Bible says. 05:09 So lust is a schizophrenic view, 05:11 it keeps changing, 05:12 as it's desiring something that you want 05:15 but you wanted at the wrong time, 05:16 you want it in a way you're not supposed to have it. 05:18 And it could be something natural 05:19 but you can just take it to a whole another level. 05:22 Myesha, what do you think? 05:24 Well, lust is, you're having a desire 05:26 for something that is forbidden like, 05:28 I like to think about the Garden of Eden. 05:31 When Eve, she desired to have, 05:35 you know, the fruit that God forbidded for her, you know. 05:38 And so I like to think about that 05:42 that something she is not supposed to have, 05:44 she wasn't supposed to have in. 05:45 Right. It was a form of disobedience. 05:49 So it's okay to eat fruit 05:50 but God said that piece of fruit is not yours. 05:53 You know, that piece right there. 05:55 And when I think of lust, I always think of selfishness. 06:00 You know, you have to fulfill your need and your desire 06:06 no matter who it may hurt, 06:07 no matter how you try to cover it up. 06:09 And so I always think of selfishness. 06:12 Now, another question, 06:14 can I have lust inside a marriage covenant? 06:19 So not for another person walking down the street 06:21 where can I, you know, be schizophrenic, 06:26 have a natural attraction to my wife 06:29 and turn it around a certain way. 06:32 I think that's yes, you can. 06:35 I think about the Book of Ephesians 06:36 where it talks about the husband's duty to the wife 06:38 to love her, as Christ loves His church 06:40 to present her blameless, holy, without blemish. 06:44 And when you are lusting, again, 06:46 it goes back to the selfish, you know, method. 06:49 You know, you are really, you're lusting after your wife, 06:51 you are not looking at her 06:52 in the way God intended you to look at her. 06:54 You know, as a beautiful delicate flower 06:56 that you have to present blameless and without blemish. 07:00 If you are lusting after her, 07:01 you know, you are really not looking for her heart, 07:04 you are looking for your own personal gratification 07:06 through her. 07:07 Therefore, you are not giving, you are receiving 07:09 and that's what you want. 07:11 So it's about you and, again, 07:13 it goes against what the Bible teaches 07:15 which is to present her blameless, 07:18 and spotless, and holy. 07:19 And that would not be accomplished 07:22 if you are lusting after your own spouse. 07:26 Why do you else have a comment? 07:27 So it's all take and no give within the marriage 07:31 and that exactly how you would do with a relationship 07:35 outside the marriage in the world, 07:38 and that isn't just not something we should do 07:41 in the marriage covenant. 07:43 I would probably slightly disagree, 07:46 I don't think in the marriage covenant 07:48 it's possible to lust like how it would be for 07:52 if I am lusting after someone who isn't my spouse. 07:56 Naturally God intended for us to have sexual desires. 08:00 And, of course, I am going to look at my husband 08:02 and have sexual desires for him, 08:04 have that sexual attraction, it's natural. 08:07 And we can be able to express it 08:08 in that element of 'cause we are married. 08:11 But the issue of taking it too far 08:14 where I am looking at him, I want him, 08:17 but there is other stuff that's happening. 08:20 I would say it's more of being insensitive... 08:22 It's a insensitivity issue 08:25 where the husband is going to go to his wife, 08:29 want these different types of sexual performances to happen 08:33 but yet he is not caring about her desires, 08:35 her needs, what does she want, 08:37 is she being pleased by me doing this? 08:39 Is she experiencing the full potential 08:41 of how our marriage moment is really supposed to be? 08:45 That's more of insensitivity than lust. 08:48 So if I combine, you know, these definitions, 08:52 it almost seems like yours is, 08:54 there is nothing wrong with having 08:55 a strong sexual desire to your spouse... 08:58 And as Jacques said earlier, 08:59 God gives us these desires, right? 09:02 But you are saying it's more of selfishness. 09:05 He is worried about what he wants 09:07 and you are saying is insensitive it's insensitivity. 09:11 I really like that, I really like those things. 09:13 Now does lust produce any guilt and shame? 09:17 Does anybody think lust produce any guilt and shame? 09:19 And how does lust produce guilt and shame? 09:22 I think lust itself produce guilt and shame. 09:24 I mean, me first being as a guy, 09:27 I remember my first sexual experience 09:30 and when I was dropping this young lady off, I felt dirty. 09:36 And it was the weirdest thing in the world 09:38 because I always thought in my mind 09:40 that guys aren't supposed to feel dirty... 09:43 You are supposed to feel cool. 09:44 I supposed to be cool like I am the man 09:45 like I just had sex but I felt dirty. 09:49 But the interesting thing is that 09:51 I silenced that conviction, 09:54 and I never felt that feeling again. 09:57 I never felt shame after that one moment. 10:01 And so shame, it does manifest itself, 10:03 you do feel that guilt 10:05 but then if you decide to harden your heart 10:07 against the Holy Spirit, 10:09 then you might not necessarily get that same conviction 10:12 or that same guilt or the same feeling again and again. 10:16 As you got before. 10:18 You know, lust is such a tricky thing. 10:21 I say when I am thinking about, you are looking at a person 10:24 and as soon as you see them your mind starts going 10:26 and you start playing like 10:28 things that could possibly happen. 10:29 But it doesn't just stop there as the day progresses, 10:32 it went through your mind, again, 10:34 'cause so images are there what you originally created. 10:37 So the next day comes 10:39 and if you see the person again, 10:40 you remember what you thought of yesterday 10:42 and then you add to it again today 10:44 because you are adding different stuff 10:45 you could probably try. 10:46 And you are getting more creative 10:48 that you are in this moment of fantasizing, 10:49 you are fantasizing about this person 10:52 who isn't... 10:54 They're not yours. 10:56 You shouldn't be fantasizing about them, 10:57 but yet you are doing it 10:59 and even at those moments where you don't want to. 11:01 Let's say, you are married 11:02 and you are with your spouse during that moment of intimacy, 11:07 you're there with them 11:09 but then your mind goes back to what you fantasized 11:10 earlier about that other person. 11:12 So even though you are there, you are not connecting, 11:15 you are not connected it's like... 11:17 And even your spouse feels it 'cause usually they know 11:21 when you are connected with them in that moment. 11:22 But at the end it is like, 11:24 "Okay, were you really here or were you somewhere else?" 11:26 And that makes it even a bigger issue 11:29 because not only was there that own guilt of shame of, 11:31 "Yeah, I wasn't really there with you." 11:33 But now, you've hurt your spouse. 11:36 You have committed adultery. 11:38 And I got a question. Perfect time. 11:40 I'm so glad you brought that up. 11:41 But first, when you feel this guilt and shame, 11:47 how can that affect your intimacy with your spouse? 11:52 The guilt and shame you had from before previously, 11:55 how can that now affect your intimacy 11:58 when now you are getting intimating your spouse. 12:02 How can you think that effects? 12:04 Like I was saying, you are not connected. 12:07 Because the reason why 12:09 sex and marriage is so beautiful 12:11 is because of that intimacy level. 12:13 And that intimacy is achieved 12:15 by being connected with each other, 12:17 you know, emotionally, spiritually, socially, 12:20 all those different levels. 12:21 But in that moment because you had that lust experience, 12:25 and you are thinking about another person in the same way 12:29 that you would have expressions with your spouse, 12:33 you are not connected. 12:34 Wow. I think intimacy... 12:36 You know, intimacy in of itself is mystifying. 12:40 Nowadays, intimacy is not about sex. 12:42 Intimacy, like she said, it's about, 12:45 you know, that connection, and lust completely blocks 12:49 intimacy from happening. 12:51 And, you know, you are being selfish, 12:54 lust is all about selfishness. 12:56 You are not giving way 12:58 to being intimate with your spouse 12:59 'cause you are thinking about yourself. 13:01 So I can have intimacy without anything physical happening 13:05 but the lust tells me, you know, 13:07 it has to be physical for you to be intimate. 13:10 I know for myself what it did was, 13:14 it confused my intimacy about my wife. 13:17 And so, knowing I wasn't supposed to lust, 13:20 and knowing how I felt lusting after women before 13:24 and the guilt and the shame. 13:26 Now when I came into the marriage covenant 13:28 when I fully desires about my wife 13:31 it was always like a question. 13:33 Is this genuine? 13:35 Do I really feel love for her or am I just being selfish? 13:37 And then it programs you to be selfish 13:42 so you don't feel anything. 13:43 So now when it's time to be intimate with your wife, 13:45 when it's time to touch, when it's time to hold hands, 13:48 when it's time to just, you know, caress each other. 13:52 When I was out in the world, 13:54 you don't have to do any of that, 13:55 it's all purely physical. 13:57 So you program yourself 13:59 not to be able to give love like that 14:02 'cause you don't have to. 14:03 And so that's one of the big problems that I had 14:07 and I went through. 14:08 And what I would add is, 14:10 basically like what you are describing 14:12 when you have experienced lust, 14:14 it makes you confuse sexual desire. 14:17 You are supposed to have a natural sexual desire 14:19 for your wife. 14:21 So now you are wondering, 14:22 is this what I am supposed to 14:24 like you don't, like, it's like, 14:26 'cause you had it 14:27 and because you like indulge with it, 14:29 you are really confused like, 14:30 "Okay, what is natural and what is not natural?" 14:34 Now you brought up fantasies, 14:36 and we know Matthew, I think it's 5:28, Jesus said, 14:39 "If you look on to a woman to lust after her," 14:41 and you were describing how you can look at a person, 14:43 and within five minutes you picturing you guys married, 14:46 and got kids, and you don't even know 14:48 the person's last name, you know. 14:50 And so how does creating these fantasies 14:53 affect you now when you get married. 14:55 Can you start creating fantasies about what you think 14:59 your wife should be, and then when she is not that, 15:01 it affects you guys' relationship, 15:03 and it messes everything up. 15:05 How does this fantasy creating when I am lusting 15:08 affect now the reality of my marriage? 15:12 I think it starts off with what you are watching. 15:15 You know, it paints this whole view 15:18 of how marriage is supposed to be. 15:20 And so it's a fantasy like you said, 15:23 you know, "Oh, I want my husband to do this. 15:25 I want my wife to be this way," 15:27 you know and... 15:29 As for me, I didn't grow up with 15:31 both my parents being married so I didn't get that example. 15:36 So I think that we should just, 15:39 you know, get that fantasy out of our mind 15:43 and look towards Christ 15:44 or other relationships that are, 15:48 you know, that involved God, you know. 15:51 And I love to say that, I love to look 15:53 at my pastor and my first lady and how their marriage is, 15:56 and they help us a lot within our marriage. 15:59 And so I believe that, you know, you involve Christ 16:02 is the first person you should involve. 16:04 And then, you can, may be look at other married couples 16:09 and get, you know, that example. 16:13 Okay, so stop with the fantasies 16:16 and move to the real deal. 16:18 Yes, indeed. 16:19 You know, I am glad you did that. 16:20 All right, Jacques. 16:22 And me as a single person, 16:23 I had to learn that lesson myself. 16:25 You know, watching all these movies they always show... 16:28 Well, the movies that are geared for men, 16:32 they always show the women as over sexual 16:35 and, you know, as if she is just there to please you... 16:39 Like this person, their whole existence 16:43 is for your pleasure. 16:45 And then when I would watch, 16:46 you know, these chick flicks with, 16:48 you know, a girlfriend or something like that, 16:51 you look at the guy and those movies 16:53 that are geared towards women 16:54 and the man can read their mind... 16:57 Yes. 17:00 And he does everything exactly when the women wants it 17:03 and you never have to explain anything. 17:05 And so when those two people 17:07 God had to show me that 17:08 if I go into marriage with those expectations, 17:11 and then I am not communicating my expectations, 17:15 that marriage is doomed, that marriage is doomed. 17:18 So what we watch, it really does affect 17:21 our perception of reality. 17:22 And it can create discouragement, disappointment, 17:26 and also depression. 17:28 I find those three things always follow 17:31 an unmet expectation. 17:33 And especially if you have a fantasy, 17:36 you know, and that expectation 17:37 is really going to be hard for you 17:40 to deal with the reality of who this person is. 17:42 And like you guys said, really be intimate 17:44 like get to know that person and appreciate that 17:46 'cause you have this other desire in your head. 17:49 Now lust we said it's selfishness, right? 17:53 And so I want you to touch on this a little bit, Xavier. 17:56 How can... 17:57 If I didn't deal with lust and now I got married, 18:00 how can it really make me selfish towards my spouse? 18:03 Well, lust is a drug. 18:05 Lust is a drug meaning that... 18:07 And I had experiences in the past 18:09 where you don't want your needs are meant for that night, 18:12 you know, you are trying to go 18:14 on to the next thing. 18:15 You are trying to go on to the next one, 18:17 you know, it gets boring, it's tedious like 18:18 'cause society programs you were to lust. 18:20 The society programs you in that, 18:22 you know, you can marry to one woman, 18:24 you are having sex with one woman your whole life, 18:26 that's boring doing that. 18:27 How you're going to do that? Exactly. 18:28 So essentially, lust is a drug 18:30 in a way it trickles into your marriage 18:32 and the way it works with that, you know, 18:35 you essentially look at yourself, 18:36 you know, you are thinking about yourself 18:38 and your wife wants that intimacy 18:40 but because lust defines intimacy and you're, 18:43 in lot of times, in your own world view, 18:45 then you are projecting that into your spouse meaning that, 18:48 "Okay, you want me to help you." 18:50 And guys are very physical. 18:53 So you are like, you know, a woman tells you, 18:55 or your wife tells you, 18:56 you know, we are going to be intimate, you automatically, 18:58 you know, you start undressing that's what you think. 19:00 But in reality she wants 19:01 to make that connection with you 19:03 that emotional connection, but you won't see that. 19:05 And that like, Jacques was saying early, 19:07 you know, that when it trickles into your marriage, 19:09 it can cause a very detrimental damage to your marriage 19:12 because you're only thinking about yourself. 19:14 You are not really, you know, 19:17 your wife wants you to tap into her heart, 19:19 not just her body. 19:21 She wants to make sure that, you know, you are engaging her. 19:23 And same thing with the husband, 19:25 you know, eventually, you want to find out 19:26 that emotional fulfillment as well. 19:29 Let me get a women's perspective. 19:31 Myesha or Brittany? 19:33 Brittany is cheesing. 19:37 Are you okay, Brittany? 19:38 I am sorry, repeat the question. 19:42 I have experienced lust before my marriage 19:44 and it made me selfish. 19:46 How does that now affect my intimacy during marriage 19:49 when I be selfish about it, you know? 19:54 I wouldn't say that 19:55 it affects you makes you selfish. 19:57 I think it goes back to the previous point 19:59 of you are not connected 20:01 because the way how women are, 20:03 we like to be connected on all the different levels. 20:07 We want to have a nice one conversation 20:09 probably before even after. 20:11 We do want to be able to hold hands, 20:13 we want you to pray with us and have that... 20:17 We want you to be the priest and take us to God with you. 20:20 We want all those different levels. 20:22 So when it comes to sex 20:25 and if my mind is on some other guy that I saw yesterday, 20:29 maybe he was playing basketball, 20:31 and he was really running up and down 20:32 those courts really well. 20:34 And my mind is there then when I am with my husband, 20:39 I am going to start not appreciating 20:40 different things about him. 20:42 "Okay, you don't have as much energy as this guy, 20:45 I think would have if he was here and not you. 20:48 You are not going the places I think you should be going 20:52 but if he was here, he probably would have been going there." 20:54 So that was moments those things where is probably, 20:58 you know, Xavier's true expression of his love 21:00 and being intimate with me, I am taking them for granted 21:04 because in my mind this other guy 21:07 who I don't really know, I just think he looks fine. 21:11 I am thinking he is going to do X, Y, and Z 21:13 so I want him here and not the person 21:15 who actually does love me, who actually does care for me, 21:19 who actually will listen to me when I am may be depressed 21:22 or just had a bad conversation with my mom, 21:24 who actually want to pray with me 21:27 and sit down and read a scripture with me. 21:29 I am not appreciating this person 21:31 who truly does love me 21:32 because I am thinking about some other guy who, 21:35 you know, was just fine. 21:36 Was just fine. 21:37 I think that was beautiful. 21:39 It seemingly like what you were saying is 21:42 that what it can do now is because I'm in this fantasy, 21:46 because I am in this lust room, and I want these fake things, 21:48 I don't get to really experience the real thing 21:51 and how beautiful it is, and how like you were saying, 21:54 connected it is, 21:56 and I am going into with all these different ideas 21:58 like you were saying earlier. 22:00 And there is a beautiful book, you touched on something 22:03 and it's called 'Is God in Your Bedroom?' 22:06 And what it talks about is, 22:08 the title almost makes people like, 22:10 "God don't need to be in my bedroom," you know? 22:12 You don't think about it but what you said is 22:15 praying afterwards, and being a priest, 22:17 and, you know, asking God to bless you guys union. 22:22 And that's how I think something 22:23 that a lot of couples really miss. 22:25 And one of the ways I think they miss it 22:27 is they bring things into the marriage 22:30 that they were experiencing before 22:32 that should not be in there, 22:34 which brings me to my next question 22:36 about lust and sex practices or fetishes 22:40 because we know that lust has different degrees. 22:43 You grow when you are in lust, 22:46 you start one thing and it kind of gets perverted, 22:48 it changes your... 22:50 So what about now because I am married, 22:53 what about some things 22:54 that I used to do outside of marriage, 22:57 you know, that the world tells me is okay 22:59 or that is regular, you know, sexual activity. 23:03 Is it okay now that I am married to bring those things 23:06 inside my marriage? 23:08 I think people understand that we are habitual creatures. 23:13 You know, you are now tampering with your neurological senses. 23:16 You are tampering with your mind, your framework. 23:19 You know, you are creating these habits 23:21 they are bringing into the marriage. 23:23 And once those, you know, that perhaps 23:26 even are against God's Word are fulfilled 23:29 you're going to go into the next day, 23:31 and that's where a lot of these deviant behavior happens 23:33 where you have people, 23:35 you know, husbands killing spouses 23:36 and things of that nature, you know? 23:38 Because once that need is met, 23:41 you want to try to go through the next thing, 23:42 and the next thing, it escalates. 23:44 It's a monster. It escalates, you know? 23:47 You want to have that fulfillment somewhere somehow, 23:49 that's why a lot of people as you seen in the media 23:51 and everything like that, they go from, 23:53 you know, just having sex to, 23:55 you know, something like a torture 23:57 and, you know, bondage and all that 23:59 because it has to escalate. 24:01 It's that sense of I need to feel something from it, 24:04 that's what lust creates inability to feel. 24:07 That's why it's different when God says 24:08 make love not just have sex, there's a difference. 24:12 And we see that the devil wants those practices to be normal. 24:16 He has even made a movie about it 24:18 and he's put it out 24:19 and people are also watching these things. 24:23 From female perspective, 24:25 is it okay now for me to bring these things into my marriage? 24:27 Is it not okay? Is it not even a big deal? 24:30 What do you think? Oh, no, it's not okay. 24:33 I mean, you are out there fornicating for one, 24:35 that's a big no. 24:37 You know, you are already doing certain practices 24:39 that are against the God's Word, 24:41 that's another no. 24:43 So now that you have been... 24:45 Now that you are a new creature 24:46 and you're doing things God's way 24:48 what He ordained. 24:50 No, of course, not, you can't just come into the marriage 24:52 with things that you've done that are perverted 24:54 and bringing it into your marriage. 24:56 God would not bless you that way. 24:58 And there will be consequences to pretty much sinning. 25:03 Right, right. That's right. 25:04 So does it bring confusion, Brittany, and so why? 25:08 I think it does bring confusion 25:11 because we have to remember that two things, 25:14 sex is worship. 25:16 You could be either worshipping God 25:18 or you could be worshiping the devil. 25:19 And based on whatever the practices 25:21 that you may have been lusting over or desiring, 25:24 you're coming into the marriage bed 25:27 and you are bringing them in, 25:29 and they are not bringing praise and glory to God, 25:31 they are not honoring Him. 25:33 So that's the first thing you need to wonder, 25:35 is this act really going to honor God 25:38 and bring worship to Him? 25:40 'Cause there are some things that are actually 25:41 also harmful to your spouse 25:44 like bondage, that's harmful. 25:45 Because you may think, "Oh, I am having fun, 25:48 I am going to choke her." 25:49 But then you can't realize that you are actually hurting her 25:52 and the next thing is being insensitive. 25:54 Again, you are bringing these desires in 25:58 but it may not be actually what the spouse wants to do. 26:01 Right. 26:02 So you're associating pain and pleasure 26:05 in a way that's perverted. 26:07 So, Jacques, do you think it puts things that are unholy 26:10 on the same level with holy things? 26:13 I would have to totally agree 26:14 with that if you are doing things that are unbiblical 26:18 when you are in the world, 26:20 you need to stop those behaviors. 26:22 But then at the same time, 26:24 God made sex to be enjoyed between a man and a wife 26:27 and so I think we have to be careful 26:29 not to just try to prohibit everything 26:32 in an attempt to try to be holy 26:33 because I don't think that pleases God 26:36 because God is saying, "This is the fruit I am giving you, 26:39 and you are rejecting it. 26:40 You are supposed to reject the forbidden fruit." 26:43 But then the things that are pleasing to God 26:46 and you can study that throughout the Bible, 26:49 go to Leviticus 18, to find the prohibitions. 26:52 You go to the Song of Solomon and see how sex is celebrated. 26:56 And anything that you think is pleasing to God 27:00 and that makes you and your spouse 27:02 feel love and comfortable, 27:04 then that should be allowed in the marriage covenant. 27:06 Okay, Xavier? 27:08 Yeah, it's just a matter of, again, just our feeling. 27:11 You are not doing what God wants you to do, you know. 27:14 And you are not respecting your wife's body so. 27:17 So we see that it can have a profound effect 27:21 on your marriage afterwards, 27:23 and it can really bring in confusion, 27:26 it can bring in practices that are unholy. 27:29 And if you are struggling with any of these things, 27:31 we would just want you to know as always that there is hope. 27:35 It's better for you to deal with lust before your marriage 27:38 but if you didn't, 27:40 and if you are now in a marriage covenant 27:41 and you are experiencing lust, 27:43 I am here to tell you as a living witness 27:44 that God can still change it, 27:46 He can still purify, 27:48 and He can give you those good thoughts and emotions 27:50 and have you have a beautiful 27:52 spiritual relationship with your spouse 27:54 where God is in your bedroom. 27:57 Well, we thank you for watching our program today. 28:00 And as always, I am Timothy Lawson, 28:02 and we want you to make pure choices. |
Revised 2018-03-29