Participants: Jacques LaGuerre (Host), Brittany-Hill Morales, Myesha Lawson, Timothy lawson, Xavier Morales
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000093A
00:02 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:04 Parents are cautioned that some material
00:06 may be too candid for younger children.
00:43 Hello and thank you for joining us today
00:45 for another episode of Pure Choices.
00:48 I'll be your host Jacques LaGuerre,
00:50 and I'm joined here with my panel,
00:52 Xavier Morales,
00:54 Brittany Morales, Mayesha Lawson,
00:58 and Timothy Lawson.
01:00 Today, we will be talking about strip clubs.
01:04 Before we start,
01:06 I'll ask that you bow your heads with me as I pray.
01:10 Dear Heavenly Father,
01:11 as we talk about this sensitive issue,
01:14 I ask that You send your spirit into this place,
01:17 and You guide our discussion, in Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
01:22 Amen. Amen.
01:24 I want to start with a Bible verse,
01:26 Matthew 5:27, 28.
01:31 The Bible says,
01:32 "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time,
01:35 thou shalt not commit adultery.
01:37 But I say unto you,
01:38 that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust
01:40 after her hath committed adultery with her
01:43 already in his heart."
01:46 Now I want to ask,
01:48 what do guys think about this verse?
01:49 Do you truly believe
01:52 that looking is the same as committing adultery?
01:56 And why?
01:59 Well, one reason I believe is
02:01 'cause that's what the Bible says.
02:03 Good answer. Right.
02:05 But also another reason,
02:09 you know, I don't think anything ever stops
02:12 with just a look.
02:13 I think a look to lust can be harmful.
02:17 You can start fantasy building in your mind,
02:21 create a whole another reality in your mind,
02:23 and also it's going to lead to something as far as
02:28 if you're watching strip clubs and pornography,
02:31 if maybe you actually don't go out
02:33 and have sex with another person,
02:35 then, you know, you might do it to yourself
02:37 as in masturbation,
02:38 so it's going to lead to some kind of act.
02:40 So what you're saying is looking is never enough?
02:42 No, I don't think so, no.
02:44 Anyone else have any thoughts, is looking ever really enough?
02:47 I think it's also like
02:49 piggybacking of what Tim said
02:51 that most of the times, if you see adultery cases,
02:54 they start it with looking,
02:56 you know, looking at pornography
02:58 or looking at somebody of the opposite sex,
03:01 you know, it always starts with just looking,
03:02 but looking is usually, you know, if you indulge in it,
03:06 it really isn't that enough, yeah,
03:07 you know, you keep going to the next extreme.
03:11 When I think about adultery,
03:13 so often we think adultery as only
03:15 if a person has sexual intercourse
03:18 with another person who isn't their spouse.
03:20 When in reality, adultery is more than that.
03:24 If I'm looking at someone with lust in my heart
03:26 and I'm desiring them,
03:28 I'm already taking a special part of my heart
03:31 that belongs to my husband
03:33 and giving it to someone who doesn't deserve it.
03:35 I'm already desiring someone who I shouldn't be desiring
03:38 because they're not my husband.
03:41 So that's already the beginning of...
03:43 That's adultery
03:45 because that special sexual desire belongs to the person
03:49 that God has given to me,
03:51 not to some random guy
03:53 who's just walking across in my view.
03:56 So based on what you just talked about,
03:59 do you believe it is okay for a young Christian
04:03 to go to a strip club?
04:04 No. No.
04:06 No. Not if it's really a Christian.
04:09 Not if it's really a Christian.
04:11 He shouldn't be in that area, that atmosphere,
04:16 especially if he is a Christian.
04:18 He's supposed to want to be, you know, close to the Lord.
04:22 And in that atmosphere,
04:24 you know, it's the enemy's atmosphere.
04:26 He has his people there, he has his spirits there,
04:29 and he's walking into...
04:31 I like the term I've heard and read in some books,
04:34 the devil's enchanted ground, you know.
04:37 And so he's not safe to venture in there by himself.
04:42 And so he shouldn't be there.
04:44 Speaking of the devil's enchanted ground,
04:47 could you tell me some of the history
04:49 of the strip club?
04:50 Where did it come from? What are the roots?
04:51 And how did this institution just spring up
04:54 and almost take the country by storm?
04:57 Well, it's very interesting,
04:58 you know, when you research things
05:00 far back enough, you always go to ancient cultures.
05:03 And most of the things that they did,
05:05 they did for worship purposes.
05:08 They did it as a formal worship to their gods.
05:10 And so some of the earliest records
05:12 they have are in Egypt
05:15 and India with the belly dancing.
05:18 And there's also interesting story
05:21 about the myth
05:23 about the Babylonian God, Ishtar,
05:26 that she fell in love with Tammuz.
05:28 And he got sent to the underworld,
05:30 and she wanted to get him out.
05:31 Well, to get him out,
05:33 she had to walk through these seven gates.
05:35 And through walking to these seven gates
05:37 before she can get to the entrance of each gate,
05:39 she had to take off something.
05:41 And so, by the time, she got to the seventh gate,
05:43 she was bare obviously.
05:45 And some people think that had a lot of influence
05:47 and so then it went from those cultures
05:50 in those societies to the Greek
05:51 and Roman cultures and societies
05:53 in their worship services,
05:55 I think there was a service
05:57 that Romans had called Lupercalia,
06:01 which they used to celebrate in February
06:06 which also where Valentine's Day comes from.
06:09 And it was a fertility ritual
06:13 where the women had to dance and also there were priests
06:18 and there were different ceremonies.
06:20 And then, you know, it drifted off
06:21 from that form of culture
06:23 to kind of our times through the lake opera shows
06:28 and American burlesque.
06:30 And then what you have
06:31 for modern times in the '50s and '60s,
06:33 that's when you had the modern topless bars
06:36 kind of come out.
06:37 And so it just kind of progressed
06:38 through history, and the devil,
06:40 you know, first, he had it in the worship services,
06:42 it's in Asian culture,
06:44 and then he had it kind of "high society",
06:46 you know, kind of the operas and burlesque,
06:48 people would dress up and go and watch these shows.
06:51 And then in '50s and '60s,
06:52 it kind of branched out into the topless bars
06:55 and anything goes places like that.
07:01 Thank you, Tim, for that history
07:02 of where strip clubs from.
07:03 I didn't know all that.
07:05 And you'd also see the history of provocative dancing
07:08 in the Bible.
07:10 You know, the story of John the Baptist.
07:13 He was put in prison by King Herod, now Herodias,
07:17 she had a problem with John the Baptist
07:19 because he spoke out against her marriage,
07:22 and she wanted to end the life of John the Baptist,
07:24 but King Herod respected John as a prophet.
07:27 And it was one fateful night,
07:29 I'm pretty sure you guys know the story,
07:32 where John the Baptist lost his life
07:35 after Herodias's daughter,
07:37 she danced for them in a very sexual way,
07:40 and she asked for John the Baptist's head
07:43 as a result of her dance,
07:44 and King Herod had made a promise to her
07:46 that he would give her anything,
07:48 up to half the kingdom.
07:50 And so you can see
07:51 that the devil has plans for women.
07:53 He wants women to use
07:54 their bodies to destroy great men.
07:59 And we can also see that in other places
08:01 in the Bible.
08:02 I know, Xavier, you had a thought about that.
08:04 Yeah, the Book of Numbers, it talks about that,
08:06 you know, often we overlook that book in the Bible.
08:09 The Book of Numbers,
08:10 it's actually a very interesting
08:12 story of Phinehas,
08:13 and I can't remember
08:15 the names of the two people involved,
08:16 maybe, Tim, you might remember the names.
08:18 The guy's name was Zimri and the girl's name was Cozbi.
08:22 Yeah, and they were...
08:23 That was at the time that Israel had still had
08:25 the temple that they would carry all around.
08:29 And they actually...
08:31 Those two people were engaged
08:32 in sex right outside of the temple.
08:34 Right out they're like,
08:35 you know, desecrating everything.
08:37 And Phinehas came and pretty much slew them
08:40 at the same time with a spear.
08:44 But it was in his...
08:46 In a way that, you know, he did it to glorify God now,
08:49 obviously, I don't recommend that to glorify God,
08:51 you go and spear somebody, we call that murder nowadays.
08:55 But you're saying that's one description
08:57 of how even before Christ's death
09:01 on the cross, someway,
09:02 somehow Satan has found a way to use,
09:06 you know, the body, sexuality, you know, stripping,
09:08 all of that to perverse the temple.
09:13 I know that in my experience,
09:14 being in the military for over three years,
09:17 that the strip club,
09:18 it's a very common place for people
09:21 to go on the weekends.
09:22 So how could someone, maybe one of the viewers
09:25 watching this television program right now,
09:28 how could they politely decline an offer
09:30 to go to the strip club,
09:31 like let's say someone from their work,
09:33 it's a tradition, everyone's going,
09:35 maybe they're just going for the buffet,
09:37 how can someone decline politely an offer
09:40 to go to a strip club?
09:41 Simply saying I don't want to go.
09:44 If the person is persistent, they keep on saying,
09:46 "Well, you should go because of X, Y, and Z."
09:48 You can probably say,
09:50 "Well, because of my beliefs and because of how
09:51 I respect myself, and I respect...
09:54 In my case, how I respect men and their bodies,
09:58 I do not want to be a part of this."
10:02 Simply stating that you are a Christian
10:07 is the way to go as well.
10:09 You know, you can,
10:11 you know, you can speak boldly about your faith.
10:14 You know, you speak politely, of course, not,
10:18 you know, not just say,
10:20 "Oh, no, I don't go there because I'm a Christian."
10:22 You know, and they look at you like you're crazy.
10:25 But you can speak boldly
10:27 about not going to certain places
10:29 due to your faith and that it's not right.
10:31 And next thing you know,
10:33 it can open up a door for witnessing.
10:36 That you can just, you know, say,
10:38 "No, thank you, you know, I'm not going go."
10:41 And then if, like Brittany said,
10:43 they persist, then I think that's,
10:45 you know, the Lord telling you to explain why you don't go
10:49 and so, but you don't have to explain why off the bat,
10:52 if that's not what you're going do,
10:54 you can just politely say, "You know, no, thank you.
10:57 I don't go to certain places."
11:01 In my own personal experience with declining offers to go
11:04 to strip clubs after I gave my life to Christ,
11:08 a lot of my friends,
11:09 they would go to the strip club,
11:11 and they had a tradition in the unit that I was at.
11:15 You know, you take all the new guys,
11:17 and you take them to the strip club,
11:19 and you make them leave their wallets at home.
11:21 And so all the people in your squad,
11:24 they'll take care of you for the night.
11:26 They'll buy you a drink, they'll buy you dances,
11:28 they'll pay for everything.
11:30 And when someone approached me
11:31 as the new guy at the unit asking me to go,
11:34 like you guys all said, I just had to politely decline.
11:37 And I didn't even preach a sermon, I didn't...
11:40 I didn't quote the Spirit of Prophecy,
11:41 I didn't quote any scripture, all I told them is,
11:43 "I'm not about that life,"
11:45 and they got the point and eventually,
11:47 they just stopped asking.
11:49 And so it's very possible
11:51 just to take a stand for your faith
11:54 and not go to an institution like that,
11:55 I think would be a huge mistake to go to a strip club
11:59 to try to fit in because you don't know
12:00 what you're getting yourself into.
12:02 But also my next question,
12:04 well, what if you're at a bachelor party,
12:06 you had a bachelorette party,
12:07 and you're going there to support your friend,
12:09 someone you've known for a long time,
12:12 maybe it's even a church member,
12:13 you don't know,
12:14 and you are surprised by some adult entertainment
12:19 that walked to the front door,
12:21 now what would you do in that situation?
12:23 That's a surprise all right.
12:26 That's a setup from the devil.
12:31 It's a tricky situation.
12:34 How I would probably approach the situation
12:36 would be probably based on how close I am
12:39 to that individual
12:41 because as we've kind of been stating before,
12:44 stripping does have a negative effect on you.
12:48 And I heard so many different stories
12:50 of how the strippers just appear out of nowhere,
12:53 nobody has a clue,
12:55 and I think if it's one of my close friends,
12:57 even if it's one of my sisters',
12:59 I probably have to turn off the music and say,
13:03 "I love you, and because I love you,
13:05 we have to ask this gentlemen to leave
13:07 because you're about to make
13:08 a very important decision tomorrow,
13:10 and this right here is the first step
13:13 into a downfall before you even say I do,
13:16 and you need to really consider this."
13:18 And that's the decision I will make
13:20 because if I truly love this person,
13:23 and I'm at there to support them,
13:25 to encourage them to make a great lifelong decision,
13:29 then they need to start making pure choices
13:31 before they even jump the broom.
13:34 And you have to be straight up, and say, "Okay."
13:38 If it's not someone I'm really, really close to,
13:41 maybe not to have to have a huge discussion,
13:44 probably pick up my bag and slowly like,
13:47 you know, sneak out depending,
13:50 maybe it was just a random invite,
13:51 and I was like, "Okay, maybe I'll go."
13:53 Well, probably, knowing me, I'll probably say something.
13:57 I think to...
13:58 It's like what Brittany said,
14:01 you know, this day and age, they don't...
14:03 The strippers don't come just to strip,
14:05 you know, they call it the last hoorah.
14:07 You know, they got to sleep,
14:08 the bride or groom gets to sleep
14:11 with the individual stripper.
14:13 You know, it's the last night, and that's just,
14:16 you're commit...
14:17 You're essentially starting an adulterous track
14:20 before you even start the marriage.
14:22 You know what I mean? So I think too...
14:25 I mean, this is a random act that happens,
14:27 but being a police chaplain,
14:30 I've been asked if I was a stripper,
14:32 you know, I went to a call,
14:34 I remember, and these ladies like
14:35 it's part of the culture though.
14:37 It's that prevalent in the culture
14:38 that if you are...
14:40 If the cops are not called you over there
14:42 because of a noise complaint, and you're just a chaplain,
14:44 you're just there to pray for somebody,
14:46 they'll put their hands on you, and say, "You a stripper?"
14:48 And I'm like, "No, ma'am" You know, and I'm thinking,
14:50 you know, I'm trying to be a Christian,
14:52 and I say, "You know, get off me."
14:53 But at the same time, it's like,
14:54 "Do I pray or do I run? You know, what do I do?"
14:57 And I think it's a very valid point
14:59 that if you get caught in that situation,
15:02 don't immediately go on impulse,
15:04 you know, like don't utterly reject your friends
15:08 or family members
15:09 or whoever they are, but at the same time,
15:11 use the sermon to lovingly,
15:13 you know, remove yourself out of that situation.
15:15 And if possible, help whoever it is
15:18 to remove themselves as well
15:19 from committing a grave mistake.
15:22 So let me add again, the common thread
15:24 is to remove yourself from the situation
15:26 Yeah, you got to get out of there.
15:28 Okay, okay.
15:29 And to transition to our next thought.
15:34 When you do your research,
15:35 and when you look at some of these strip clubs
15:38 and you look at some of the different types
15:41 of strip clubs, many of them,
15:42 they don't even show full nudity.
15:45 In some of them the top stay on,
15:46 bottom stay on,
15:47 or there are things that are called bikini bars,
15:50 and where all the women,
15:51 they stay in bikinis the whole time.
15:53 And even that is sexually charged
15:56 enough to get men to throw money,
15:59 to do all these different things.
16:00 And so if a bikini is so socially charged,
16:03 how can a Christian safely navigate
16:06 what I call a strip club by the water,
16:08 aka the beach?
16:11 Well, well, then.
16:13 How can a Christian safely navigate the beach?
16:17 In this day and age...
16:21 I'm not sure if it's safe for,
16:25 you know, a Christian to navigate the beach,
16:28 especially if you're struggling
16:30 with that kind of lust or whatever
16:32 because you just have that same element.
16:36 You know, you have people
16:38 sleeping on the beach with tops off,
16:40 and it's just fully exposed, and unless,
16:44 you know, there's a section of the beach
16:45 where it doesn't look like that
16:47 or you've found another place to go,
16:50 I don't know
16:51 if they can navigate the beach so much.
16:54 Well, for one, they need to know
16:56 what type of beach they're going to
16:58 'cause there's different types of beach.
16:59 You can go to a beach
17:01 that has that's more family-oriented
17:04 or you can go to a beach that just have a nude.
17:09 Because there is a nude beach in Miami, okay, I know.
17:14 So you just want to know your surroundings, okay?
17:19 And you want to pick your battles.
17:21 Don't say, "Oh, well,
17:22 since we're close to this nude beach,
17:24 let me go here."
17:25 You don't play with fire
17:26 'cause you're going to get burned.
17:28 So I advise a person to go to the beach
17:32 that's more family-oriented.
17:34 Being an island girl,
17:36 and we have so many different beaches,
17:38 one of the things that I could kind of say is,
17:42 as she said, know which beach you're going to,
17:44 and actually if you really need to have that swim,
17:47 maybe it's for exercise or whatever purpose,
17:50 know what times to go, like early in the morning,
17:53 it's a little bit colder,
17:54 so people are mainly there to swim,
17:57 and you'll probably find more older women,
17:59 and they usually don't wear bikinis.
18:01 They usually wear regular swim suits,
18:06 and you also know which days to go
18:08 'cause on certain days, that's when they probably have
18:10 the drinking, the partying,
18:12 you have to be aware and make that wise choice of,
18:15 "Okay, I'm not going to go at this time
18:17 because I know the temptation that's there,
18:19 I know the type of people will be there,
18:22 and I want to be able to make a better choice."
18:26 That's good, that's good, that's good.
18:27 So you have to be aware of your surroundings,
18:30 you can't just go to any beach because there's beaches
18:32 that allow different levels of nudity.
18:35 Very wise, very wise.
18:37 And so when you understand
18:39 that going to these institutions,
18:41 going to strip clubs, or going to nude beaches,
18:44 it presents an environment
18:46 where you can objectify women
18:48 or you, as a woman, could be objectified.
18:50 Now the question
18:52 I have is how does it affect the person
18:55 who's doing the objectifying?
18:57 Because many times,
18:58 we talk about the affect of the actual dancer
19:01 or the actual person that you're lusting after,
19:04 but how does it affect the person
19:05 who's doing the lusting?
19:07 Or does it affect them at all?
19:09 Or are they just getting away scot-free?
19:11 Well, you know, I remember when I used to go...
19:14 When I started getting into it,
19:16 you know, where I live there's a strip
19:18 and there's like about three
19:21 or four strip clubs on the strip.
19:23 And we would just go there
19:24 every weekend and drink and stuff.
19:27 What you begin to find out
19:29 is you begin to...
19:33 It changes you in one way
19:34 'cause you begin to desire these type of women,
19:37 so you might even want to try date some,
19:39 you look at them in a certain way.
19:41 For me, I started to associate women with money,
19:45 you know, not necessarily giving her money,
19:48 but this girl uses her body to make money,
19:51 and that started to be okay in my mind that this is fine
19:56 'cause maybe,
19:57 you know, then I can use this way
19:59 to get some money too.
20:00 So I started to,
20:01 you know, I guess look at a person
20:03 almost like an object
20:04 instead of a person and become real selfish.
20:08 And so that's how it can affect the person sitting there
20:11 because they're associating
20:15 sexual stimulation, money,
20:18 being used or using somebody all in one,
20:21 and it's just all intertwined
20:22 and really confusing in your mind.
20:24 Wow, wow, wow.
20:25 Something the biggest way it can affect you to,
20:27 you know, at the end of the day,
20:29 most people want to find out right person,
20:31 want to be with the right person,
20:32 but then when that right person comes along,
20:35 you can mess it up.
20:37 You know, you can end up treating them
20:38 not the right way.
20:40 You know, those are habit-building things
20:42 that you do, you know.
20:43 Everything that you do,
20:44 everything that you put your eyes
20:46 on can potentially create habits,
20:47 and you either have a choice,
20:48 you create positive or negative habits.
20:50 And objectifying women,
20:53 I mean, I did that for a living pretty much.
20:55 And I created bad habits in me
20:57 that God and I had to work through tremendously
21:01 because, you know, when I started,
21:03 you know, being friends with my wife,
21:05 we're just friends at the time and everything,
21:08 I know what I saw in my heart,
21:10 but I know what I was supposed to see.
21:12 You know, I saw her
21:14 as another woman, another female,
21:15 another trophy.
21:16 But in my heart,
21:18 I knew God wanted me to see her
21:19 as His daughter, as His prized possession,
21:22 and that if He is going to allow me to pursue her
21:25 or be with her or accompany her anywhere,
21:27 I need to treat her in accordance to His Word.
21:31 And you create double the work for yourself essentially,
21:34 you know, and you never...
21:35 And unless you conquer that from the get-go,
21:37 unless you remove yourself from those habits,
21:40 you're going to end up alone
21:41 or, worse, with a domestic battery charge.
21:44 Wow, wow, wow. I think...
21:46 Also it makes you a little bit of a selfish hypocrite.
21:50 You don't mind going, you don't mind watching,
21:53 but you don't want your daughters to do it
21:55 or your sister to do it, and that's...
21:57 And so if you wouldn't want them to do it,
21:59 why do you want
22:01 somebody else's daughter or sister,
22:02 why is it then okay?
22:04 And so what it creates
22:05 in your mind is you can objectify,
22:08 make reasons to get where you want,
22:10 you know, so you can live out your lives there too.
22:14 I want to read a quote here from Sister White
22:16 and signed to the times,
22:17 November 26, 1896, paragraph nine.
22:21 She's speaking about Solomon and how all the objectification
22:25 and all the women he had and the affect it had on him.
22:29 She writes and I quote,
22:30 "And it came to pass when Solomon was old
22:32 that his wives turned his heart after other gods,
22:35 and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God.
22:38 From being one of the greatest kings
22:39 that ever wielded a scepter,
22:41 whose exalted wisdom
22:42 made him renown throughout the world,
22:44 Solomon became profligate and intemperate,
22:47 the tool and slave of others,
22:49 his character once noble
22:51 and manly became enervated and effeminate."
22:55 Became enervated and effeminate.
22:58 And so even in the story of Solomon,
23:01 we can see that objectification.
23:04 And the more you do it, the more you want to do it,
23:06 and in Solomon's case, he did it a lot.
23:09 And towards the end of his life,
23:12 Sister White tells us that he became effeminate.
23:16 And, you know, that's just how sin works.
23:18 The devil offers you a check that's going to bounce.
23:23 It looks shiny, it's golden, it has all the trimmings,
23:26 you know, the devil tells you the more women you have,
23:28 the more of a man you are.
23:30 And we read in the case of Solomon
23:31 that the more women he had, the more of a woman he became.
23:38 And so one of our final questions for today
23:41 will be can a couple include stripping
23:44 in their lovemaking session?
23:49 Wow, you answered
23:51 that rather quickly, can you explain?
23:52 Well, for one, I was a former dancer,
23:57 and now that I am a new creature in Christ,
24:01 I should not take that these that were perverted
24:04 in my past to my future
24:07 or, you know, to my marriage, my relationship,
24:11 like I wouldn't do those type of thing.
24:15 Okay, well, I have a couple of follow up questions,
24:16 and then, do you believe it is okay
24:18 for a husband to watch his wife undress?
24:20 Most definitely. Yes, why not? I think...
24:23 Yeah, I think undressing
24:25 and somebody is stripping for you
24:27 is kind of two different things.
24:30 'Cause the woman wouldn't be putting on a performance.
24:31 That's a performance,
24:32 you know, the stripping is really a performance
24:34 that they're putting on, and it creates an open door
24:37 because he's watching his wife do it,
24:40 and so what happens when he flicks on the channel
24:44 or gets invited to a club, like you said,
24:46 and he sees somebody does it better than his worth.
24:48 You know, he might go...
24:50 He might start to like that more.
24:51 When he goes home, he might tell his wife,
24:53 "You know, I've seen this,
24:54 and you should do it like this now."
24:57 I think it'll open up a door for the Satan
25:00 and the devil to creep in and do some things
25:01 that are unholy in their marriage.
25:03 Right. Because the woman...
25:05 If the husband tells his wife that, how would the wife feel?
25:09 You know, she'll be like, "I thought I was doing okay,
25:13 you know, to please my husband."
25:15 And then it will make you wonder,
25:16 "What are you doing outside of the home?
25:19 Where are you getting this from?"
25:21 You know, a woman's mind will start to wonder,
25:23 and then she would think,
25:24 "Does my husband accept me the way I am?"
25:27 So it'll bring confusion inside the marriage.
25:29 Okay, okay.
25:30 And I know you said
25:31 that you used to be a former dancer,
25:33 and so the next question I have is
25:35 and we've all made mistakes in our past,
25:38 many of them are sexual.
25:40 And so how can we be careful
25:43 not to allow our past mistakes to affect us
25:47 and what we allow and what we don't allow
25:50 in a healthy marriage relationship?
25:54 Well, for one, in my experience,
25:58 I had to be mindful of the things I do
26:01 when it comes down to my marriage,
26:03 especially taking things from the past
26:05 and bringing it in, okay?
26:08 I've made mistakes...
26:10 Better yet, I'll ask my husband,
26:13 you know, what he likes and what he doesn't like,
26:17 or we also had counseling,
26:20 and we've got things out of the Bible itself,
26:25 what's appropriate
26:26 and what's not appropriate, okay?
26:29 So and to be honest,
26:32 I want the Lord in my bedroom, okay?
26:35 I do.
26:36 I want him to bless my marriage.
26:38 I don't want the devil to have
26:40 not even a little bit of room to just creep in
26:42 and cause confusion between me and my spouse.
26:47 I think there's some things
26:48 that are definitely just okay to do
26:51 and that are differently not okay,
26:53 but even in those things
26:54 that are okay, you don't want...
26:56 Every person is different as past experiences
26:59 that you don't want to trigger or have bring up by,
27:02 you know, doing those things in your marriage as well.
27:04 So you guys have to have communication
27:06 and talk about things.
27:07 Thank you for those comments. I really appreciated that.
27:10 And I think the common thread
27:11 we can find throughout what they just said about
27:14 what should be allowed
27:15 and what should not be in the marriage bed
27:17 is keeping Christ at the center.
27:20 And Christ has the right.
27:21 He has the authority to be
27:22 the center of our relationships.
27:24 He has the right to be in our bedrooms.
27:26 As 1 Corinthians 6:20 says,
27:29 "For ye are bought with a price,
27:31 therefore, glorify God in your body
27:34 and in your spirit, which are God's."
27:38 And so God does not ask us to do these things
27:41 without the right.
27:45 That's all the time we have for today.
27:47 Thank you for joining us
27:49 for another episode of Pure Choices.
27:51 Keep Christ at the center of your life, live for Him,
27:55 and remember to make pure choices.