Participants: Xavier Morales (Host), Brittany-Hill Morales, Jacques LaGuerre, Myesha Lawson, Timothy Lawson
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000097A
|
00:02 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:05 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:07 may be too candid for younger children. 00:43 Hello, and welcome to another great episode of Pure Choices. 00:46 I'm your host, Xavier Morales. 00:49 And I would now introduce to my panel. 00:50 Next to me is my beautiful, wonderful wife, 00:53 Brittany Hill-Morales. 00:55 And over here, we have Tim Lawson 00:57 and Mrs. Myesha Lawson and Jacques LaGuerre. 01:01 Welcome, welcome. 01:03 Today, we'll be talking about dating traps. 01:06 What are dating traps? 01:07 And the title of today's topic is, 01:09 "You Thirsty?" 01:11 Are you thirsty? 01:12 Today, we will be getting into these questions 01:14 and really understanding 01:15 what a dating trap is all about? 01:17 But before we begin, let us pray. 01:20 Dear Heavenly Father God, 01:21 we just wanna thank you right now 01:23 as we learn from your Word 01:25 and learn what dating traps are all about, 01:27 in Jesus' name, Amen. 01:28 Amen. 01:30 Well, the first obvious question is 01:33 what is a dating trap? 01:35 How would you define that? 01:38 Tim? 01:39 I think a dating trap is anything that 01:42 kind of entices you to date a person, 01:46 but then later on, 01:48 you find out that that thing was then important 01:52 wasn't all as cracked up to be 01:53 and now you're trapped as 01:55 where you had to deal with something 01:57 you didn't really want to deal with. 01:58 You know, I can't remember myself 02:02 trying to be a dating trap myself, 02:04 you know, in the beginning you're nice 02:06 and you're cordial, 02:07 but really inside, I'm a 100% selfish 02:10 and I only want, you know, what I want, 02:12 I really don't care what you want, 02:13 but I'll give you what you want so I can get what I want. 02:17 What I know the definition to be 02:19 is like either like a trick or a ploy 02:23 that you try to use 02:24 because you perceive it to be essential 02:27 to a successful relationship. 02:28 But what it really does? It leads to its demise. 02:32 Jacques? 02:33 I'd say, it's any umbilical method 02:36 that you try to use to get into a relationship 02:39 or a method that is used against you 02:42 that results in a relationship being formed. 02:45 That's right. 02:47 Yeah, that's right, okay. 02:48 Well, so what a dating traps to is, you know, 02:51 understanding what the word "trap" means? 02:53 You know, "dating," "trap" 02:55 they just doesn't seem to go together. 02:57 You know what I mean, so you're setting a trap. 02:59 You're essentially setting... 03:01 there is no end goal. 03:02 You know, you're just trying to, literally, 03:04 trap the person into getting what you want. 03:07 I guess one of the questions would be, 03:09 what are some of the most common dating traps? 03:13 Most common dating traps would be social media. 03:18 Okay. Okay. 03:19 I mean it's so easy for me to post pictures, 03:24 say little comments about myself, 03:27 basically putting myself out there 03:30 knowing that it will attract another guy or woman 03:35 and just basically seeking attention 03:37 for someone to, you know, 03:41 message me back or like my pictures 03:44 or just trying to get someone's interest 03:46 or trying to get someone's attention 03:48 so he can, you know, contact me. 03:52 I like that. Go ahead, Jacques? 03:54 I'd say another dating trap is what are we dating trap? 03:58 That's where you start to get physical with someone you... 04:00 as a man, you start to get physical with a young lady 04:03 and then she asked you the question, 04:05 "What are we?" 04:07 And you don't know what to say. 04:08 And so since you guys have been getting physical 04:10 and you like what's going on, 04:12 you just decide to get into a relationship 04:14 when you had no intention originally 04:16 and now you're dating someone that you don't really like. 04:22 Yeah, yes, I have that one, I call it scarcity trap, 04:25 you know, where things are scarce, 04:27 slim pickings, 04:28 and I think, you know, 04:30 that was a fairly common one too where, you know, 04:33 you kind of limit... 04:34 you limit it to what you can choose 04:36 so you just go with whatever 04:38 and make that person fall into your gimmick 04:41 like I like the marketing trap. 04:42 Do you have anything to add? 04:44 Yeah, the marketing trap, 04:45 I think if one is at a whole way 04:47 to cross the board, that's probably one. 04:50 You know, nice looking or clothes are nice, 04:53 car is nice, house is nice, 04:55 everything on the outside is nice, 04:57 it looks all appealing, 05:00 but inside, it can be terrible and really horrible 05:04 and so people market themselves, 05:06 kind of like she was saying on internet, 05:07 some women market themselves to appear sexy 05:10 and to appear that they will engage in this activity 05:15 and men do the same thing, 05:17 you know, some people go to the gym 05:18 not just to get in shape, 05:20 but to market themselves better, to look better. 05:22 I was just thinking about what you were saying about 05:24 how the pickings are slim. 05:25 You usually hear that 05:27 like when I went to the college, 05:29 they say, "Okay, while you're here, 05:31 make sure you get your degree and your Mrs. 05:34 because when you got into the real world, 05:35 the pickings are slim, 05:37 there are not that many good black men out there, 05:39 so you really want to get someone here," 05:42 because, you know, the school I went, 05:44 "You have to get someone here as soon as you can 05:45 because when you're out there, 05:47 it's going to be a struggle, 05:48 you're going to be single for forever. 05:50 So you might as well find someone here." 05:51 I like that 'cause that kind of 05:53 leads into the other dating trap, 05:54 date to mate trap. 05:55 We see that a lot in our community, 05:58 especially our Christian community, 05:59 the dating trap, you know, I remember, 06:02 you know, the stories I would hear of... 06:05 you know, you go pray, give them Bible study, 06:07 you know, go pray with them a little bit, 06:09 you know, take them to the Lord, 06:12 but while you're at it, you know, 06:13 take them with you too. 06:15 You know, I don't know what are you guys think, 06:17 the date to mate trap. 06:19 I think... Yeah, go ahead. 06:21 I was actually talking with the young lady 06:23 the other day 06:25 and she was telling me that 06:28 that's something that happens a lot. 06:30 If a young woman 06:31 who's not essentially sanctified 06:35 is trying to trap a young man, she might ask him, 06:38 "Hey, let's have Bible studies." 06:41 And then, after that happens, 06:44 that's when she's going to make her move 06:46 and so that is something that happens 06:48 and you have to be careful 06:49 that you're not putting yourself in a risky situation, 06:52 no matter what the activity is. 06:54 Especially, especially, 06:56 if you are trying to seek the Lord 06:58 with all your mind and heart 06:59 and you're a guy or you're a girl, 07:01 once you do this 07:02 and some might knows what you're about, 07:04 they know you spiritually, they know you love the Lord, 07:06 then you will meet this people 07:07 who look like they have 07:09 the greatest relationship with the Lord, 07:10 they walk with the Bible out, they're in church all the time, 07:14 they look really sanctified, 07:15 but it's just a act to catch you, 07:17 you know, so you can date them 07:19 because you're "the type of person" 07:21 that they want and so, you know, 07:23 church is a wonderful place, but everybody who's in there, 07:26 not in there for Jesus. 07:28 So you got to be careful. 07:29 I think you're right about that 07:30 because you see that a lot in our Christian community, 07:33 the date to mate trap where, 07:35 you know, there's pressure especially on people 07:37 that are trying to become pastors. 07:38 There's a lot of pressure on them to get married, 07:42 you know, to be hireable and there's... 07:45 that is a trap in itself, you know, 07:47 you can't be unequally yoked in the church. 07:49 And yes, I want to tell our viewers, 07:51 you can't be unequally yoked in the church. 07:53 So this date to mate trap is not an uncommon thing 07:56 to see in our Christian circles, 07:58 but that's why we have God, you know, 08:00 to get that discernment, to get that understanding 08:03 because the traps come from the devil. 08:05 Yeah. 08:06 But salvation comes from God, 08:08 so in understanding Him and His Word 08:09 and where he wants to take us, 08:11 we, you know, kind of, learn these traps 08:13 and understand them a little bit better. 08:15 Yes? 08:16 Another trap that I was thinking about is, 08:18 "Are we compatible?" 08:20 And usually, how it goes is, 08:23 "Okay, we have a lot of fun together, 08:25 we can go out, we can laugh, 08:27 for like, I mean, we talk for hours, 08:29 so maybe we're good friends, 08:31 so maybe this would actually work." 08:33 And they don't really sit down and figure out, okay, 08:35 will this really make a good relationship? 08:38 Will it really make a good marriage? 08:40 They're so much... 08:42 They're so focused on the fact that they had fun together. 08:44 They don't think about, okay, are they good with finances 08:46 or are they going to make me broke? 08:48 They don't know how to... 08:50 Does this person want children? 08:52 They're just like, "Oh, you know, 08:54 we're just having so much fun. 08:55 So because we're having fun, it's going to work out. 08:57 We're compatible in this shape or form." 09:00 I think another trap too would be like the rescue trap, 09:02 you know, where the guys, you know, you like to rescue, 09:05 you know, you're the, rescue the damsel in distress. 09:08 And you go in and, you know, you see this girl, 09:11 she's very attractive, 09:13 now you know 09:14 you're not supposed to be with her, 09:16 you know, you're not supposed to talk to, you know, 09:17 be around her like that, 09:18 but yet you feel, you want to be the rescuer. 09:20 "God, I can fix her, I can make her better." 09:22 Same thing, women, you know, they like that... 09:24 and Christian women do this too. 09:26 They like that bad boy like, "I can make him better. 09:29 I will make him into that clean slick man 09:31 he needs to be for Lord." 09:33 What do you think about that, Myesha, in that regard? 09:37 No, you cannot change a man, okay? 09:41 Like you said, you can't change a woman either, 09:43 you know, you just have to let God 09:46 do the transformation 09:47 because even though you're trying to change them, 09:50 you can change or... 09:52 in the midst, you're going to end up changing yourself. 09:55 So I think that you should stay more focused on letting God 09:59 find you someone 10:00 and not doing things on your own behalf 10:03 or to your own understanding. 10:05 Let go and let God. 10:07 What I... Go ahead, Jacques? 10:09 What I'd say is, you know, if you're looking for a spouse, 10:12 you should focus on evangelism, 10:14 not girlfriend or boyfriend evangelism. 10:17 Now because if you want someone who's serious about the Lord 10:21 and you're serious about the Lord yourself, 10:23 you should be trying to witness to other people 10:25 and I believe one of the purposes 10:28 for companionship and for marriage 10:30 is to be useful, more useful in ministry. 10:32 And so getting into ministry 10:34 and separating your ministerial life 10:37 from your dating life 10:39 'cause those things should never mix. 10:41 To pay back of what Jacques said 10:42 and I think that's exactly 10:44 what the Lord is trying to show us in Genesis. 10:46 It was through Adam fulfilling his work for the Lord 10:51 that he found the need and the desire 10:55 to have a mate when he was naming the animals 10:58 and then he saw them two by two, 11:00 then he began to wonder, you know, "Where's my mate?" 11:02 Through that experience, God did put him to sleep 11:05 and made his mate 11:07 and then God brought his mate to him. 11:10 Now Adam was focused on his work 11:12 and his relationship with God 11:13 and God let him understand some things, 11:15 God created the woman and brought it to him. 11:18 So Adam didn't have to seek, and look, and change anybody. 11:22 I like that. 11:24 I'd like to, you know, put a pen on that one 11:26 because it's important to understand that 11:28 the Bible says that, 11:30 "Then God brought the woman to the man." 11:32 You know, a lot of times in our society and our culture, 11:35 the man have to go out there seeking and looking 11:37 and that's a trap from the devil. 11:39 It's not saying that you... 11:40 It's a sin to look or anything like that, 11:43 but it's to say that, 11:44 your game, everything like that, 11:46 that means nothing, if she is from the Lord, 11:48 He will bring her to you. 11:50 The issue is, will you wait for her to come? 11:52 Same thing with the women. 11:53 Eve had to have enough trust that God was leading her 11:56 to where she needed to go. 11:58 Do you trust? 11:59 You know, the women out there, 12:01 do you trust God is leading you to the right man? 12:03 Which leads me to another question 12:05 or another trap, 12:07 what about the attraction trap 12:08 where strong physical attraction means 12:11 chemistry? 12:14 That's the worst one. 12:16 You know, that's the worst one because you have these urges, 12:20 some people have 12:21 such a strong physical attraction, 12:24 they can't even think anything else, you know, 12:27 they love even just staring at each other, 12:28 looking at each other and it borderlines into almost, 12:33 you know, lust enough to one another and they figure 12:36 because they desire each other so much physically, 12:41 they try to implement the mental and the spiritual. 12:45 "So because we like each other so much 12:48 that I'm going to pray with her, 12:50 I'm going to try to bring the spiritual element into here 12:53 that really probably doesn't even exist at all." 12:57 What about the sex trap? 12:59 You know, the chemistry underneath the sheets, 13:00 you know, what do you think about that? 13:02 I switch, I think that's the worst one in all of them. 13:04 That's the worst one, right? 13:06 That's the one. 13:08 I've had a few people actually say, you know, 13:10 they're not going to get married 13:11 to the person unless they tested out 13:13 to make sure it's going to be good 13:16 and this is like Christians. 13:17 I'm like, "Seriously?" 13:19 Like, "Yeah, 'cause you have to make sure 13:20 you have that chemistry like what if you get married 13:21 and it doesn't work out?" 13:23 But I think some people forget that 13:25 sex is more than just technique. 13:29 Do we do it good? 13:31 Sex is about that intimacy 13:32 and even if it's not good that very first night 13:35 because of the relation that you guys are building, 13:37 you guys can build on it and make it better. 13:40 I'd like to just say, you hit it right on the nail 13:44 because the physical attraction, 13:46 the world tells you, 13:47 almost you post it test it out first 13:49 so you know what you're working with 13:50 and that's because the world doesn't understand 13:52 about holiness. 13:53 You know, the bible says that, 13:54 "As you grow and abound in love, 13:56 so will you in holiness towards the love." 13:59 And sex is an expression of the love 14:01 you have for one another. 14:02 So as both of you all get closer to God, 14:05 God's going to work in that area 14:06 to make it more richer and more deeper 14:09 and the reason we have a lot of these things in society, 14:12 you know, sex counselors 14:14 and couples having problems with intimacy 14:17 is because they're not growing in holiness 14:19 and a spiritual relationship 14:21 is the most intimate relationship, 14:22 you know, on earth. 14:24 What about what they call the lone ranger trap? 14:27 The lone ranger trap where, you know, people tell you, 14:30 "You won't be happy unless you get married." 14:32 You know, you need to be... 14:34 Being single is almost sinful or against... 14:38 It's an anomaly, it's against normal society. 14:41 What do you think, Jacques? 14:43 I think that is a half truth in a way. 14:46 God made us with a hole in our heart and he made us... 14:50 And he made the hole so big that only he could fill it. 14:53 And so when you're single, when you feel that loneliness, 14:57 it's not a call to a spouse, 15:01 it's a call to get closer to Him. 15:04 And so to say that I'm going to use a human being 15:07 to do in my life what God should do, 15:10 that's idolatry. 15:13 And so when someone says that, 15:15 they don't truly understand that 15:17 peace and joy can only come from God. 15:20 I like that. Do you have something? 15:22 Real quickly, can I mention like two of my trap, 15:25 favorite traps I'm hearing so much among females? 15:29 The first trap is like this idea 15:31 that one is just going to appear. 15:33 She's... 15:35 One of my friends is like she's so quiet, so shy, 15:38 but for some reason, she believes 15:40 her husband is going to just, 15:43 I don't know, maybe appear in her room 15:45 and I that's how you're going to just click and get married. 15:50 Or the other trap that I've seen so much of, 15:55 especially, as a pastor is, you get these text messages, 16:00 you get these emails saying, 16:01 "I just had a dream and God told me, 16:04 I'm supposed to marry you." 16:06 God never told me this dream. 16:08 He never revealed it to me. 16:10 He didn't say anything, but you have those prophets, 16:13 so prophets who are like, 16:15 "You're going to be with this person, 16:16 that's the one for you." 16:18 "God didn't tell me that." 16:19 "He will, He will." 16:21 Years have passed but God still hasn't told me. 16:24 Wow. 16:25 Now what do you guys think about that? 16:27 You know, that's just trying to use 16:31 spiritual things for your own selfish purposes, 16:33 you know, God... 16:36 You know, there are those instances I guess 16:38 where God tells this person like 16:39 He came to Joseph in a dream 16:41 and then told him about Mary, 16:43 but that's stretching the Bible for your own purposes 16:45 and saying what you want, God is telling you, 16:49 you know, you can have what you want. 16:50 And that's deceptive. 16:53 And I think we see that 16:54 through a flip side in the world of their way, 16:56 you know, the guy throws a line to the girl that, 16:58 you know, "You've been in my dreams, 17:00 I've been thinking about you." 17:02 And you just met this girl 17:04 and you're saying all these things to her. 17:06 I call that stalking. 17:08 Well, let me give another disclaimer, 17:10 say the person is not lying and the dream is real. 17:13 Remember this, there's a great controversy, 17:14 so there is a devil around 17:16 who can implant thoughts and visions in your mind 17:18 so you got to be super careful. 17:20 You know, you might have had a dream, 17:22 but you're not Nebuchadnezzar, there ain't no guarantee 17:26 from the Lord, you know. 17:28 So you've got to check on that. 17:31 My husband told me I was going to be his wife 17:33 and look at me now, so the Lord is good. 17:36 See that's the importance again, 17:37 you guys, you know, of waiting of... 17:39 I think you both have to have that revelation. 17:42 It can't just be only one person... 17:44 I agree. 17:45 ...hearing and the other person 17:47 no matter how much they pray, no matter... 17:49 it's like, God is like, 17:50 "No, no, you're not supposed to be with that person." 17:52 And I think 17:54 if it's a young girl or a young man, 17:56 if God is telling you no, 17:58 then don't doubt your relationship with God 18:00 and believe that that person is right. 18:02 If God has told you once, 18:04 if He has told you twice, listen, 18:05 if He has told you three times, 18:07 why are you still talking to that person? 18:08 Run. Right. 18:10 Run. Go, Joseph, run. 18:13 And I think that's important to understand too 18:15 because that brings a serious trap to mind 18:17 that is we... 18:19 it feels good, we're together, we can make it work. 18:23 If we wanted it to work so bad that every red flag, fireworks, 18:27 God is putting up billboard saying, "Run, run, run." 18:29 They still want it to work, you know, 18:31 what do you do in that situation 18:33 when, you know, 18:34 one of those dating traps that you are, you know, 18:36 you wanted to work so bad, even though you know 18:38 you're not supposed to be together. 18:41 You need to just fast and pray 18:44 because it's something that is keeping you there 18:47 and you know that it's not good. 18:50 You know it's not going to work. 18:52 I'm pretty sure... 18:54 I know for a fact, 18:55 the Lord is going to send you red flags 18:58 and you still go ahead anyway, there can be some consequences, 19:03 the marriage can end badly 19:05 or within the marriage will be a lot of conflict. 19:09 So you just need to really be mindful 19:14 and listen to the Holy Spirit 19:16 what He's exactly telling you? 19:17 Jacques? 19:19 Well, I've never been in that situation myself. 19:21 I've talked to many of my friends 19:23 that were in relationships that have been going for years. 19:27 And so what I did in that situation, 19:30 I tried to talk with them, 19:31 I tried to ask them what the positive things were 19:34 and what the negative things were. 19:36 And I tried to lead them to pray 19:38 because what I used to do is just tell the person 19:40 'cause you're looking at it objectively. 19:42 You know, just from outside point of view, 19:45 this relationship is unhealthy. 19:47 But that person has invested so much time 19:50 and money and energy 19:53 and maybe they're physically involved 19:54 so that even closer 19:56 and so in that situation if you're one of those people, 20:00 like Myesha said, 20:01 you really need to fast and pray 20:03 and ask God for strength 20:04 to do what you already know you have to do. 20:08 And also let me just add two things, 20:11 if you are feeling like 20:12 you're supposed to be with this person so much, 20:15 if the two of you have been physical, 20:17 then your vision is already destroyed. 20:20 What you think is important 20:22 and what you think is so deep 20:23 has been amplified by both of you being physical 20:26 and another safe thing 20:28 that most people don't want to do, 20:29 especially most young people, 20:31 when they decide to get with one another is, 20:34 the Bible says, 20:36 "In a multitude of counselors, there is wisdom." 20:38 There's nothing wrong with asking older people, 20:40 other people, marriage counselors 20:42 about the relationship and listening to advice. 20:45 I can remember, me and my wife in particular, 20:48 we were going to get married and we waited, 20:50 you know, a whole another year. 20:51 And, in that year, you know, more things came out that we, 20:55 you know, still needed to work on 20:56 and mature on and things of that nature, 20:58 that we solved, 21:01 that we didn't have to take into the marriage. 21:03 I like that. I like that. 21:05 For the viewers out there, 21:06 you know the truth is coming 21:07 when your spouse looks at you like, 21:10 you're answering the truth 21:12 and I got to see that today, I got to see that here today. 21:15 Yes, he did. 21:17 You know, as Christians, 21:19 we often look to the Word of the God 21:21 for answers. 21:22 You know, we see the negative things that happen 21:25 and then we see the answers that God provides. 21:28 Can we see an example of dating, you know, 21:31 what dating looks like in the Bible? 21:33 Can we see an example of that? 21:34 What it looks like in... 21:36 Was it right or was it wrong? 21:37 Jacques? 21:39 Well, when it comes to the dating traps of the Bible, 21:41 I think of the story of Dinah. 21:43 She was the only daughter of Jacob 21:46 and the Bible says that 21:47 she went out to see the daughters of the land. 21:51 And she was curious 21:53 and she went into a place, Ellen White says, 21:57 she was in association with ungodly. 22:01 And what happened with Dinah was, 22:03 there was a man by the name Shechem 22:05 and he forced himself upon her. 22:07 And so Dinah went into a place, into a very ungodly setting, 22:13 not being fully aware of the dangers that were there. 22:16 And I see that happening a lot of times 22:18 with young women. 22:20 The statistics show that 22:22 one in four women of college age 22:26 will be sexually assaulted by the time they leave college, 22:30 and many of them involves alcohol, 22:32 it involves drugs, it involves ungodly music. 22:35 And so we have many Dinahs nowadays, 22:37 putting themselves in very precarious situations, 22:40 very unsafe where there are a lot ungodly men. 22:43 And a man who is not controlled by the Spirit of God, 22:45 you have no clue what he's going to do, 22:47 and so what situation you put yourself in. 22:51 The bad situations, 22:53 those can be a trap in and of themselves. 22:56 So then, I'm a Christian or maybe I'm not a Christian, 23:00 either way, why should a Christian date? 23:03 Like why should anybody date? 23:06 Well, I think dating in a way, 23:09 it's carried on 23:13 is not a Christian institution. 23:17 So I'm not sure 23:18 if dating in the way the world wants you to date 23:20 and the way they conduct it 23:23 is the way that Christians should go about 23:26 getting to know the opposite sex. 23:28 I don't think if you're Christian, 23:31 you should date, 23:32 especially the way the world tells you to. 23:33 I think Christians should court. 23:36 And courtship is that type of relationship 23:38 where both the man and the woman 23:40 are trying to figure out or determine 23:42 what is God's will in their lives. 23:45 As in for this relationship, 23:46 does God want us to come closer? 23:47 Does he want us to set apart? 23:49 And courting is so much better, in dating, 23:52 you're just going about and saying, "Okay, let me see, 23:55 this person's kind of cute, they're nice." 23:57 But with courtship, 23:58 Christ is in the centre from the beginning, 24:00 it doesn't just start because, 24:02 "Okay, we're thinking about marriage now." 24:05 No, before they even started thinking about marriage, 24:07 as they are looking at each other, 24:09 they're focusing, "Okay, God, 24:11 what is it that you want me to do?" 24:12 And that's the best place to be. 24:15 What do you guys think? 24:16 I think totally that's the way to go. 24:18 I think dating is a trap itself, 24:22 you know, you're giving affections 24:25 and another person is taking affections 24:27 and there's no promise 24:28 that anything is going to happen 24:30 or going to have any fruit even after this. 24:35 And to court with 24:39 as a responsible people 24:41 with other responsible people 24:42 knowing that you guys are courting, 24:44 that can ask questions that's almost like 24:46 accountability partners, you know, 24:49 where you guys going, 24:51 if you guys going to be alone, how late at night, 24:54 and things like that, 24:55 is the way that God intended to be 24:58 that you guys are getting to know each other 24:59 in the context of God watching the Holy Spirit watching 25:03 and it's for the purpose of marriage. 25:05 So you know if that... 25:07 I already know that you're looking at marriage 25:10 and I'm looking at marriage, 25:11 so there's no dating game about what you're about? 25:13 What you're going to do? 25:15 I know you're seeking the Lord for marriage 25:17 and that's what I'm trying to do. 25:18 And we're just trying to see, we had the right people 25:20 or if we just need to say, you know, see you later. 25:23 See with court, you... 25:26 there's boundaries, okay? 25:29 There are boundaries and there are rules. 25:31 But with dating, anything goes. 25:36 And those are the just the two different 25:37 and I will not date. 25:40 I'd rather not date 25:41 or I recommend anyone else that are trying to, 25:44 you know, that are out there, that are single, 25:46 they shouldn't just date, they should court. 25:47 Well, you can't date, can you? 25:49 No, I can't. That's right. 25:51 Make sure to put that disclaimer down there. 25:54 She's not single. 25:55 I know, I know. I'm not single. 25:56 We're making pure choices here, pure choices. 25:58 Jacques? 25:59 I'd say the thing about dating 26:01 and the reason why dating is so dangerous 26:03 is that it doesn't have any intentions, you know, 26:06 you don't declare intentions upfront. 26:09 And so when people have different goals 26:12 for their relationship and they're not talking, 26:15 they're not communicating, that's when people get hurt. 26:17 But when you're courting or you're dating intentionally, 26:20 then it is a man and a woman, 26:23 they come together for the purpose of saying, 26:26 "Does God want me to spend the rest of my life 26:28 with this person? 26:29 Can this person draw me heavenward? 26:32 Will the world be blessed because of our union?" 26:34 You know, "If we would have children, 26:37 would this other person raise them up in the fear 26:40 and administer of the Lord?" 26:42 Or and if you can't answer yes to all those questions, 26:45 you politely terminate the relationship. 26:49 And with that, you know, 26:51 dating traps is such a crazy thing nowadays 26:55 and we need to understand that, you know, 26:56 for the viewers out here, that it's not a game. 26:59 You know, dating is often taken as a game. 27:02 And avoiding these dating traps through the method of courtship 27:05 which seems to be old and, you know, 27:07 from ancient times, 27:09 it's actually very popular today. 27:10 I can say that to myself, you know, 27:12 I've dated before I was a Christian. 27:14 I've dated... 27:15 I've done the whole dating aspect. 27:17 But when God placed in my heart to court my wife, 27:19 to really spend time with her, to really get to know her, 27:22 I got to know the person that I love and care for today. 27:26 You know, I got to, you know, know my best friend, 27:29 know her who she was and that's the importance. 27:31 If you want your marriage to work, 27:33 if you want to be able to bear fruit 27:36 through your marriage, learn to court. 27:38 Avoid these dating traps, you know, 27:40 spend time getting to know your significant other. 27:42 And, guys, don't be so quick with the game. 27:45 God said He's going to bring you the women, 27:47 so just chill and just wait. 27:50 And I just want you to know that God is always there. 27:52 He's always going to help us, 27:54 and always, always, always remember 27:56 to make pure choices. 27:59 Thank you for tuning in. |
Revised 2017-11-26