Participants: Xavier Morales (Host), Brittany-Hill Morales, Jacques LaGuerre, Myesha Lawson, Timothy Lawson
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000098A
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:04 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:06 may be too candid for younger children. 00:41 Hello and welcome to another wonderful episode 00:44 of Pure Choices. 00:45 I'm your host, Xavier Morales, and next to me, 00:47 I have my good friend, Jacques LaGuerre. 00:50 Over here, we have 00:51 Tim Lawson, Mrs. Myesha Lawson, 00:54 and my wonderful, beautiful, astonishing, God-given wife, 00:58 Brittany-Hill Morales. 01:00 I like that, I like that. I like that, I like that. 01:03 But today's topic is what men need. 01:06 And, obviously, 01:07 you people are going to jump the gun and already think, 01:09 you know, what we need. 01:10 But we're gonna talk a little bit more about it 01:12 going depth into it. 01:13 The title of today's topic is "Wham, Bam, Thank you, Ma'am." 01:16 So as we get into this... 01:17 Before we get in it, 01:19 we're going to have a word of prayer, 01:20 bow your heads with me, please. 01:22 Dear Heavenly Father, God, right now, 01:24 as we get into this topic, 01:25 Lord, let us express 01:27 what it is that men need in accordance to you. 01:29 In Jesus' name, Amen. 01:31 Amen. Amen. 01:33 First question, an obvious question, 01:34 what role does society play and what man needs? 01:41 I say it plays, 01:44 especially at this point in time, 01:46 one of the largest roles and what men need, 01:50 especially as you have fatherless homes 01:54 and people growing up without fathers, 01:56 as you have homes that have fathers in them, 01:59 and men not being good fathers 02:01 or even fathers that are good and their... 02:03 Maybe their work carries them away from home. 02:06 That society in the form of the coacher, 02:10 you know, television or video games 02:12 or fashion and music playing a role in telling men 02:18 what they need 02:19 or what type of men they're supposed to be. 02:21 And now we can go through all the stereotypes, 02:23 but I'll just touch on the one. 02:24 Right now, in today's culture, in today's society, 02:27 you have a heavy, heavy movement 02:30 to feminize men at this point in time, 02:35 whether it's coming through the fashion, 02:38 the type of jeans and the shirts 02:40 and the type of clothing 02:42 that men wear right now a lot of times 02:44 are actually unisex 02:47 or kind of feminine in the way their clothing looks. 02:50 And also through the music, 02:54 you know, they are... 02:58 You know, sometimes they call that empowering women, 03:00 but to empower one sex, 03:03 you don't have to put down or demonize the other. 03:07 And this is the kind of role, and this is the kind of things 03:10 that are happening right now. 03:12 Mr. Jacques? 03:14 I'd also say that if you look at television, 03:18 and what's coming forward from all these studios. 03:22 When you look at most of these sitcoms, 03:24 the father is just a child. 03:28 He can't do anything right. 03:30 He doesn't know how to handle money. 03:33 He needs his wife to do everything for him. 03:36 And his wife almost treats him like a little child. 03:38 And it's laughed at and is seen as comedy. 03:41 That's called the sitcom. 03:43 And so a lot of boys that are growing up 03:46 without their fathers, like Tim said, 03:48 they're looking at this behavior, 03:49 and they're thinking it's normal. 03:51 And then they get caught 03:52 in this cycle of playing video games. 03:54 I think they say 03:55 that the average video game player 03:58 is not a teenage boy, the man is 27. 04:02 And so it's keeping a lot of men 04:04 in a constant state of boyhood. 04:07 And so society wants a man to be one of two things, 04:12 be a woman or be a child. 04:14 But society is not really trying 04:15 to help a man truly become a God-fearing man. 04:19 And I think that, you know, that's true 04:21 because, you know, growing up, I was always, 04:24 you know, my dad always taught me, 04:25 you know, this is what it takes to be a man or what would not, 04:28 but, you know, society did play a big role in 04:31 who I would become because what I became... 04:34 Before I became a Christian, 04:35 what I became in the world was not what my mother 04:39 and father intended me to be. 04:41 And understanding that we, you know... 04:43 I understand that, yes, 04:44 society does play a big role in what, 04:46 you know, man needs to be or who he... 04:48 Or how he has to act. 04:51 But I know Brittany has something 04:53 to say about that. 04:54 I say, our society, 04:56 the role that it plays like it provides the handbook 04:59 for what a man is supposed to be. 05:01 But the handbook is so confusing, 05:04 it makes me glad I'm a woman because I'm hearing... 05:06 You hear so many different things 05:08 in some medias as, you know, Jacques was saying, 05:11 you would see the guy is like a baby, 05:13 the wife has to do everything, and he's just, 05:15 you know, a little bit did see... 05:17 But at least he's home and he's there. 05:19 And other shows, you see a guy who's like, 05:21 "Okay, I have baby mommas everywhere. 05:24 I hear they're in everywhere. This is what I do, I'm a man." 05:26 Or you see, other guys are like, 05:28 "I'm making money, I'm doing, this is what I am." 05:30 And then in the other spectrum, you see... 05:32 It might be a different culture of men, 05:34 but you see these men, they're successful. 05:37 They're walking around in suits. 05:39 They're the attractive men, the strong, powerful men. 05:43 You have so much different types of men 05:46 that are being portrayed, it's like, 05:48 "Okay, should a man be this powerful, 05:51 successful guy who walks around and can get a woman like that, 05:56 should he be this guy who has his pants sagging, 05:59 and he can get these type of women, 06:01 should he be this, should he beat that?" 06:03 At the core, it's so dysfunctional, 06:08 I don't know how men do it. 06:10 And that's interesting 06:11 because, you know, we need to talk a little more 06:13 about that because... 06:14 I mean, right now, 06:16 if you don't have a pen and paper ready, 06:17 you need to have that pen and paper ready 06:19 'cause we're giving all our secrets out here, 06:20 you know, all our secrets out here. 06:21 I know there are some ladies out there 06:23 looking for a good man. 06:24 I know, Jacques. 06:27 Well, I got to promote him one time, only one time. 06:31 But at the same time, you know, in all seriousness, 06:33 I know there's women out there 06:34 that often have that question of what men need 06:37 'cause we say, and Brittany touched base on that, 06:39 you know, we don't come with a manual, 06:40 neither do women, 06:42 but at the same time, it's like what do we need? 06:44 And I want to ask you... 06:45 I want to ask the ladies, how do you define... 06:48 How do you see what does a man need? 06:51 How do you define that, Myesha? 06:54 Well, for one... 06:55 Nowadays, men need respect. 06:57 You know, they're not being respected as men. 07:02 You know, with the media, it plays a part in that. 07:07 Because, I mean, you see a lot of... 07:10 Well, all types of women are disrespecting their man. 07:13 They don't know how to talk to them. 07:16 They don't even know how to treat a man like, 07:18 you know, like Britney said, 07:20 there's no manual how to even be a woman 07:22 and how to even treat a man. 07:24 You know, it is going to go with experience, 07:27 or it's going to go with, you know, seeing another woman 07:31 and how a man really should be treated, 07:33 or even the Word of God itself 07:35 will tell you how to treat a man. 07:38 And clearly, it says, you know, husbands... 07:42 I mean, wives, you have to respect your husbands. 07:45 Brittany? 07:47 I was just thinking about even growing up with all women, 07:52 so I didn't really see men around until I got older. 07:56 And I got to know my dad more. 07:58 And then being in relationship with Xavier, as you said, 08:00 I was trying to figure out, "How do I relate to him?" 08:04 Because you see the TV show, so I'm like, 08:06 "Okay, maybe I'm supposed to be the strong woman 08:10 who tells him what to do." 08:11 But other side, 08:13 "I don't want to be a strong woman 08:14 that tells him what to do. 08:15 I want to just to be there to support him, 08:18 to encourage him, to uplift him when he needs that upliftment." 08:21 So I think that's what men need, 08:25 someone who supports them as they continue to be 08:28 what God has designed them to be, 08:30 to be that helpmate 08:32 because that's what they desire from their women 08:34 to be that support, 08:36 to be there whether things are really, really great 08:39 or really, really bad 08:40 so that they can depend on her. 08:42 And that's true. 08:44 That help me, it's an important factor. 08:45 And also, man, 08:46 I know it sounds funny, but it's refreshing, 08:48 and for the viewers out there, it's refreshing to hear women, 08:51 just as confused about what we need, 08:53 as men are confused about what they need. 08:55 So, yes, we need God in all things 08:58 to be able to understand each other. 09:00 But, Myesha, with regards to respect, 09:02 you mentioned that, and I want this for everybody, 09:05 why do you think respect ranks so high in men, with males? 09:11 I mean it's just so much disrespect 09:13 going on in the world. 09:15 I mean, men are being very belittled. 09:19 And you know, you can say 09:21 it's women that's being belittled, 09:23 but it started with men first. 09:25 You know, and it started in the Garden of Eden, 09:27 you know. 09:29 How Adam, you know, didn't take responsibility, 09:33 so it's basically, you know, automatically, 09:35 when that started, and then, you know, what shows are being, 09:39 you know, on media or they're showing 09:41 that they can't take responsibility. 09:43 They can't handle things the right... 09:46 In proper way, they can't make proper decisions. 09:50 And when that's being pushed out there, 09:52 our men are indecisive, they're confused. 09:54 And all these things, 09:55 when it's been pushed out there, 09:57 and you guys are looking at this, 09:59 you know, you're really thinking to yourself, 10:01 "Am I this type of guy?" 10:03 Or it's being put into your head. 10:05 You know, you're seeing this on TV. 10:07 So obviously, you know, this is a whole image 10:09 that's going to be in your mind eventually. 10:12 And then you're going to start acting out. 10:15 So I just... 10:16 Basically, I think that you should just get 10:18 your counsel from God. 10:21 Tim? 10:23 Going back to the Garden of Eden, 10:25 you know, when sin entered the world, 10:26 it really messed everything up. 10:29 It seriously did a number on men 10:31 and did a number on women, 10:32 and what we're dealing right now, 10:34 as far society goes, 10:35 are the effects, you know, that have happened. 10:37 You know, God gave Adam, 10:39 you know, it was his job tend the garden, 10:41 it was his job to keep it. 10:43 It was his job to protect it, and when he gave Adam Eve, 10:47 this was his job as well. 10:49 So when sin entered into the picture, 10:51 you found that 10:53 it was Adam's job to protect the garden, 10:54 but he was unable to do that because sin crept in. 10:59 And then, when God comes to him and asks him what happened? 11:03 Instead of him taking responsibility, 11:06 instead of him taking his leadership role, 11:08 which would have showed respect, 11:10 he cops out and blames it on his wife now. 11:12 And so now in front of her, he gets demoted by God, 11:16 and in front of the whole universe, 11:18 it looks like Adam, 11:19 you know, couldn't handle his business. 11:21 And so now they've created this yearning in men 11:24 to be able to be respected 11:26 for being able to handle their business, 11:29 to take care of the things that God gave them. 11:33 And this is why it plays such a pivotal role. 11:35 And this is why Satan has twisted society 11:37 into disrespecting and belittling men, 11:41 so they won't step 11:42 and take charge as God wants them to do, 11:45 in the way He wants them to, not in a perverted way. 11:48 And I like what you're saying 11:49 because, you know, if it's just God's saying 11:51 that men, you know, are looking for that respect, 11:54 it's not just God, it's also psychology, 11:56 you know, regular psychology, regular science, 11:59 even they rank that respect is one of the highest things 12:02 that a man looks for, both in relationships, 12:06 from coworkers, from friends, whatever they do, 12:08 they're always looking for that respect. 12:11 And respect can actually get... 12:13 Not getting that respect, you know, it really, 12:16 I guess, you know, it hits your ego or hits, 12:17 you know, your male... 12:19 Or who you are as a man, 12:20 it kind of hits you when they break you down. 12:23 I don't know, what do you think, Jacques? 12:25 One of the interesting things about that is 12:28 just how different God made us. 12:31 You know, a man wanting respect, 12:33 it makes so much sense to me, 12:35 you know, because 12:37 being in the military for three years, 12:40 the military is... 12:42 The whole entire culture is built on respect. 12:45 You literally wear your rank on your chest. 12:48 And so when you're talking to someone 12:50 who outranks you, you speak a certain way. 12:54 If you're talking to a non-commissioned officer, 12:56 you have your hands behind your back. 12:57 If you're talking to a commissioned officer, 13:00 you're standing at the position of attention. 13:02 You know, even if you're frustrated, 13:04 you watch your tone of voice. 13:05 And that makes so much sense to men. 13:08 And so like growing up in that culture, so to speak, 13:13 I fully can understand that. 13:15 But when I was talking 13:16 with my friend's wife about respect, 13:20 she was telling me 13:21 how when she read a relationship book, 13:23 she was so confused, how the first pages said, 13:27 "Your love is not enough. He needs your respect." 13:31 And so I think that a lot of women, 13:32 they don't really understand that their husbands, 13:35 they want their wives' respect more than they want their love. 13:40 And I knew many men, when I was in the military 13:42 that they would spend so much time at work, 13:45 and they wouldn't like to go home 13:47 because here you are as an officer, 13:49 a non-commissioned officer, 13:51 everyone in the company respects you, 13:53 and then you go home, 13:55 and your wife is trying to treat you like a child. 13:57 And so those are things that I saw 13:59 while I was in the military. 14:01 And I resonate with that, 14:02 but I want to give credit to my wonderful wife over here, 14:04 she sure want to say something, go ahead, go ahead. 14:06 I think respect shows that you are valued. 14:10 When I'm thinking about respecting someone, 14:13 I'm going to respect someone 14:14 who, like you said, higher rank. 14:16 They know what they're doing, they know what they're about, 14:20 I trust this person, 14:22 and I think this person, you know, is about something. 14:27 It's like, when you see, like, a vagrant on the street, 14:29 your automatic response isn't to respect them, 14:31 because you're thinking 14:33 that what they're doing with their lives. 14:34 They're not doing anything. 14:35 But yet, if a pastor walks in, I'm going to respect him, 14:38 because he is doing this... 14:40 He's serving God, doing this. 14:42 It's like, because you're about something 14:44 that makes me want to respect you. 14:47 And I think when a guy is being respected, it shows him, 14:50 "Okay, she realizes that I am about something, 14:53 that I am doing something with my life, 14:55 that I am of this great value, that I can be trusted, 14:58 that she can depend, that she can lean on me, 15:00 so she's going to respect me because of these things. 15:05 And I want to put in a disclaimer, 15:06 just in case anybody watching things, 15:09 we're not saying that men don't want to be loved 15:12 or that they don't need to be loved, 15:14 what we're seeing is how they identify the love 15:18 that comes from their wife 15:19 is through a mechanism of respect in them 15:22 at the same time." 15:24 And I want to say something about that. 15:26 I believe that when a woman respects her man, 15:28 that is a form of loving him 15:30 or letting him know that she does love him, 15:34 because you can't automatically just yell 15:39 and say whatever you want to this man, 15:41 and he's going to think that you love him. 15:44 You have to show that you love him, 15:46 you have to give him that reassurance 15:47 that you love him. 15:50 And respect is one of the main things 15:52 that will show him that. 15:53 So based on that, you know, what men... 15:55 One of the things that man need is respect. 15:57 But I'm also wondering, 15:58 you know, regards to this whole concept of respect, 16:01 God, Christianity, 16:03 you know, I'm sure we need a little more than 16:06 just respect or love, you know. 16:08 I want to know what your thoughts are of 16:10 as what God says a man needs. 16:13 And I know, Tim, you touched on that earlier. 16:16 You talked about the Garden of Eden, Myesha, 16:17 you talked about the Garden of Eden as well, help me. 16:19 So being that, 16:21 you know, we're talking about that a little bit, 16:22 I want to know, why does God feel 16:24 that a helpmate is so important to a man? 16:28 Why is it exactly? What mechanism does that play? 16:32 Well, for one, she has... 16:34 I've always been told that a woman is a man's backbone, 16:37 you know, she always has his back in anything, 16:41 you know, outside the home as well as inside the home. 16:46 Clearly, God, 16:50 He is amazing the way He made woman and man. 16:53 Okay, a rib wasn't taken out of a woman, 16:57 you know, to make a man. 16:58 That's the other way around. 17:00 Let's speak about the correction. 17:02 It was a man's rib that was taken out 17:05 and given to a woman to make woman. 17:08 Okay, so clearly we see 17:10 that the man is an important role 17:13 as well as the woman, they're both are equal, 17:16 but the man is the leader. 17:19 Okay, but we live in a progressive society though. 17:23 Can I find that... 17:24 Do I have to find a helpmate in a woman? 17:26 Can't I just find a helpmate in another man? 17:28 No. 17:29 Well, not in the context of what God says, 17:32 like we were talking about earlier. 17:34 I mean, we can find whatever we want 17:35 if we want to do whatever we want to do. 17:37 You know, but if we're going 17:39 to talk about what the Bible says, 17:41 we see that God made Adam and the way He made him, 17:45 He made him with this sense to have a helpmate which... 17:49 And to be, you know, validated by his wife. 17:52 Like Jacques was saying earlier about the military, 17:54 you could be doing... 17:56 I mean, the world can tell you 17:58 that you're the greatest guy on earth, 18:01 but when you come home, if in your wife's eyes, 18:04 you know, you don't have that support, 18:06 if she doesn't think so, if she doesn't think 18:08 any of your accomplishments or anything, 18:10 you might fake it, 18:11 but that will cut worse 18:13 than all the accolades that the world could give you. 18:16 And so God knew that men were built 18:18 with needing the support system from a woman, supporting him, 18:24 encouraging him, encouragement is big. 18:28 "Hey, you did a good job." 18:29 You know, "Hey, you did a nice job," 18:31 through both sexes, 18:32 but God knew that men needed those things too. 18:34 Jacques, you wanted to say something? 18:37 I was going to say that 18:38 another reason why Adam needed a helpmate 18:40 is because one of his major purposes 18:42 was to reflect the image of God. 18:45 You know, man was made in God's image. 18:47 And God is triune, you know, three in one. 18:52 And so there is no way for a triune God 18:55 to be reflected in one person. 18:57 And so they're needed 18:59 to be some other characteristics 19:01 to be displayed for the whole entire universe, 19:04 and that's where Eve came along. 19:06 She displayed some of the other characteristics of God 19:09 while Adam had some of the other ones. 19:11 And they came perfectly together. 19:13 And before sin, it was a perfect union 19:15 like God, the Father, and His son. 19:18 After sin, 19:19 that's when the human family started fighting. 19:21 And I think that's all great points 19:23 because we often take the Bible for granted, as a joke, 19:27 or a set of rules and regulations 19:29 that are there just to oppress us, 19:31 but what man need first is God. 19:34 You know, and God, once he needed God, 19:36 he saw it fit to put him to sleep 19:38 and make a woman out of him, a better half, 19:40 if you so call that, 19:42 you know, somebody that would complete him 19:44 aside from God. 19:45 You know, triune, 19:46 you know, that's why the marriage 19:49 or, you know, what man need is a woman, not a man, 19:53 a woman to replicate 19:55 or duplicate a symbol of the Trinity, 19:58 you know, to bring this union and bond together under God. 20:02 And I think it's important to understand 20:04 the concept of a helpmate 20:05 'cause there's a difference between 20:07 an anchor versus a helpmate. 20:10 You know, 'cause there's a lot of men out there, 20:13 and they all say, "You know, she's my helpmate." 20:15 And she's not a bad person, but she's not the right person. 20:19 So what role do you think that plays 20:21 into a man's character and what a man needs, 20:24 you know, the fact that you find somebody 20:27 that seems to be a "helpmate," 20:28 but, in fact, they tend to be more detrimental than good? 20:31 Yes, Jacques. 20:32 Well, I tell, when looking for helpmate, 20:34 you should see, "Can this person help me?" 20:39 There you go, there you go. 20:41 Because if you're in the course of ministry 20:43 or if you're... 20:44 If you know the course or the trajectory of your life, 20:51 you have to look at this woman and say, 20:53 "Does she fit in with God's plan for my life?" 20:56 She might be godly, 20:58 you know, she might be a nice woman, 21:00 she might make a good mother someday, 21:03 but that does not mean that God has her for you, 21:06 because God might have her in, 21:08 let's say, the field of health sciences, 21:11 while God has for you something else, 21:14 maybe He wants you to be a missionary. 21:16 And so both of your plans 21:17 are in accordance with God's will, 21:19 but the God does not want to mesh those two. 21:22 He wants you guys to go your separate ways. 21:24 And so you have to make sure 21:25 that this person can help you in the plan 21:28 that God has given for you 21:29 or else that person isn't for you, 21:31 whether they're a good Christian or not. 21:33 Praise the Lord. 21:34 You know, that's a good man, right there. 21:36 You're a good man. 21:38 You know, we're praying about you, we're praying, 21:40 we're praying. 21:41 Right. 21:43 And I just want to add that 21:46 both people need to be ready for those roles. 21:48 It might be a good woman 21:50 or it might be nothing wrong with her, 21:51 but right now, where God has her, 21:54 He doesn't have her in a place 21:55 where she's going to be a helpmate, 21:57 you know, whatever He has going on in her life, 21:59 and maybe He doesn't have the man in a place where he, 22:03 you know, and essentially needs that support. 22:04 Going back to the Garden, Adam, at first, he didn't need any, 22:08 you know, help naming all the animals. 22:10 That was a job that God gave him to do, 22:12 and he could do it. 22:13 But for the rest of his duties, He saw fit to give him a wife, 22:17 and gave him Eve. 22:18 And so you might be at different places 22:20 where God doesn't want you to mesh like that yet 22:23 for whatever you're doing, maybe in ministry, 22:25 it could be your own character traits 22:28 because you'll find out that once you get married, 22:31 you're a little bit more crazier 22:32 than you thought you were. 22:34 You know, and there are some things 22:35 that you had to work out 22:37 that you just didn't see before, 22:38 but that other person is there 22:40 and these things come out on the table 22:42 and, you know, God fixes and solves things. 22:45 But, you know, you might be at a certain place in your life 22:47 where it's just not the right time for that. 22:50 That is true. That is true. 22:51 When you get married, you know, speaking from experience, 22:53 my lovely wife, you know, some things do come up, 22:56 and you actually start seeing your own necessities, 22:58 needs that you didn't even thought you had. 23:01 You see that reflected upon your spouse, on your wife, 23:04 that you begin to see those needs, 23:05 you know, come out, 23:07 you know, you didn't think you needed... 23:08 You thought you were patient enough, 23:11 you need a little more. 23:13 You thought, you know, "I love my wife, I'm patient, 23:15 I'm patient, I'm patient, I know that," 23:16 I love my wife though. 23:18 She's not... 23:19 She's very patient with me, I should say. 23:20 She's very patient with me. 23:22 But it's good, you know, 23:23 you need that little bit of wisdom, 23:24 you can go to your spouse. 23:26 We're reading a devotional, 23:27 you know, the other day about getting that wisdom 23:29 from your spouse. 23:30 So I think that need is there for men to really, you know, 23:33 gear down and really figure out what they want. 23:35 But one more question I want to ask, 23:38 and I want to ask our viewers too, 23:40 you know, reflect on this question. 23:43 What and why does pornography 23:46 plays or seem to play such a big necessity 23:50 in man's life today? 23:51 Why is pornography such a big need for men? 23:54 And is this something that men should want? 23:57 Well, I think it, 23:59 you know, goes a little bit piggybacking off 24:00 the first question. 24:02 What society is telling men what they should be, 24:05 that society, every time 24:08 they pose a man, as she was saying, 24:10 they look like there are men that's good sexually 24:15 and can get a lot of women and things of that nature. 24:18 And so they feed to men a lot of the physical 24:21 that they're supposed to have. 24:22 You're supposed to have physical success 24:24 with money and cars, 24:26 you're supposed to have physical fitness with the body, 24:28 and you're supposed to be physically good in bed. 24:31 And so if you don't get a lot of these girls, 24:34 if you don't get a lot of these things, 24:35 or if you believe in society, 24:37 and they have over-stimulated your sexuality, 24:40 now you can go to pornography and get that release 24:42 or get that manly feeling as it were 24:45 'cause you're a man 24:46 so this is what you're supposed to do. 24:48 You're supposed to be a sexual kind of creature, 24:50 animal, almost as it were. 24:52 Jacques? 24:54 I'd say that a lot of men feel like they need pornography 24:57 because our natural desire that God gave every man. 25:02 Every man wants to feel like a woman wants him. 25:06 And deep down inside, 25:07 every man wants a woman to want him. 25:09 You know, we might not talk about it, 25:11 we might not express it, 25:12 but that's the trap of pornography. 25:15 It's taking something that God gave us 25:16 because that is a desire from God, 25:18 to be wanted by a person of the opposite sex. 25:22 It takes that legitimate desire 25:24 and then it gives us a false way, 25:27 an illegitimate way, 25:28 to fulfill that legitimate desire. 25:30 What do you guys think though? 25:32 I want to ask the woman too 25:33 because it's been testosterone time here. 25:35 We should ask the ladies too. 25:36 Why do you guys think pornography plays 25:38 such a big role? 25:39 I think pornography plays such a big role 25:40 because across the board when... 25:43 Earlier, I was talking about 25:44 how society has those different concepts 25:46 for different men. 25:48 But one thing that has been, I want to say, 25:52 straight in every single part, 25:55 whether he is a very successful man, he has sex, 25:59 whether he is the wimp, yes, 26:02 he's going to get sex from his wife. 26:04 No matter what it is, 26:05 sex plays such a significant role 26:07 for every single different type of guy. 26:10 And that probably plays a part of it 'cause, 26:13 "Okay, I'm supposed to want it." 26:15 Even Christian woman would say that's all men want. 26:18 And that's how men are treated to be like, 26:22 if you don't have this problem, you're not really a man, 26:26 maybe something's wrong with your parts. 26:28 Wow. 26:29 What do you think, Myesha? 26:31 She said everything. 26:34 That's easier. That's a good one. 26:35 Good one there. 26:37 Now woman got to stick together, right? 26:39 But, you know, in all seriousness, 26:41 what men need, you know, 26:43 aside from what I'm going to say, 26:45 you know, they need Jesus, 26:47 aside from that, they need that validation, 26:49 you know, from good friends, from good godly friends. 26:53 They need that validation from, you know, their coworkers, 26:56 a support group, you know, really need to engage 26:59 because, as men, 27:00 we're not allowed to share our emotions. 27:02 But that's where you find that good support system 27:04 with your friends, with your guy friends, 27:06 and with your spouse. 27:07 You know, open up those lines of communication 27:09 with your wife. 27:11 Be able to, you know, open up to her and speak to her 27:13 because society tells us we can't share our emotions, 27:16 we can't share our feelings, 27:18 but God says, "You two are one." 27:20 So you need to communicate as one, understand each other, 27:24 get to know each other. 27:26 If this is a point in your marriage 27:27 where you're struggling 27:28 or maybe you're single and you're struggling, 27:31 find a refuge in Christ, 27:33 find a refuge in good godly friends, 27:34 find a refuge in your local church. 27:37 Understand that what men need is not what society says. 27:40 Men don't need just sex, don't need just alcohol, 27:43 don't need just food, or anything like that. 27:46 Men need a lot more to find that fulfillment. 27:49 And that fulfillment is not only found 27:51 in that rib that was once taken in the Garden of Eden. 27:53 That fulfillment is also found 27:55 in the loving arms of Jesus Christ. 27:57 We must understand that, as men, 28:00 we have a higher calling what the world says. 28:02 But, as always, remember to make pure choices. |
Revised 2018-05-17