Pure Choices

Wham, Bam, Thank you Ma'am

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Xavier Morales (Host), Brittany-Hill Morales, Jacques LaGuerre, Myesha Lawson, Timothy Lawson

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Series Code: PC

Program Code: PC000098A


00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:04 Parents are cautioned that some material
00:06 may be too candid for younger children.
00:41 Hello and welcome to another wonderful episode
00:44 of Pure Choices.
00:45 I'm your host, Xavier Morales, and next to me,
00:47 I have my good friend, Jacques LaGuerre.
00:50 Over here, we have
00:51 Tim Lawson, Mrs. Myesha Lawson,
00:54 and my wonderful, beautiful, astonishing, God-given wife,
00:58 Brittany-Hill Morales.
01:00 I like that, I like that. I like that, I like that.
01:03 But today's topic is what men need.
01:06 And, obviously,
01:07 you people are going to jump the gun and already think,
01:09 you know, what we need.
01:10 But we're gonna talk a little bit more about it
01:12 going depth into it.
01:13 The title of today's topic is "Wham, Bam, Thank you, Ma'am."
01:16 So as we get into this...
01:17 Before we get in it,
01:19 we're going to have a word of prayer,
01:20 bow your heads with me, please.
01:22 Dear Heavenly Father, God, right now,
01:24 as we get into this topic,
01:25 Lord, let us express
01:27 what it is that men need in accordance to you.
01:29 In Jesus' name, Amen.
01:31 Amen. Amen.
01:33 First question, an obvious question,
01:34 what role does society play and what man needs?
01:41 I say it plays,
01:44 especially at this point in time,
01:46 one of the largest roles and what men need,
01:50 especially as you have fatherless homes
01:54 and people growing up without fathers,
01:56 as you have homes that have fathers in them,
01:59 and men not being good fathers
02:01 or even fathers that are good and their...
02:03 Maybe their work carries them away from home.
02:06 That society in the form of the coacher,
02:10 you know, television or video games
02:12 or fashion and music playing a role in telling men
02:18 what they need
02:19 or what type of men they're supposed to be.
02:21 And now we can go through all the stereotypes,
02:23 but I'll just touch on the one.
02:24 Right now, in today's culture, in today's society,
02:27 you have a heavy, heavy movement
02:30 to feminize men at this point in time,
02:35 whether it's coming through the fashion,
02:38 the type of jeans and the shirts
02:40 and the type of clothing
02:42 that men wear right now a lot of times
02:44 are actually unisex
02:47 or kind of feminine in the way their clothing looks.
02:50 And also through the music,
02:54 you know, they are...
02:58 You know, sometimes they call that empowering women,
03:00 but to empower one sex,
03:03 you don't have to put down or demonize the other.
03:07 And this is the kind of role, and this is the kind of things
03:10 that are happening right now.
03:12 Mr. Jacques?
03:14 I'd also say that if you look at television,
03:18 and what's coming forward from all these studios.
03:22 When you look at most of these sitcoms,
03:24 the father is just a child.
03:28 He can't do anything right.
03:30 He doesn't know how to handle money.
03:33 He needs his wife to do everything for him.
03:36 And his wife almost treats him like a little child.
03:38 And it's laughed at and is seen as comedy.
03:41 That's called the sitcom.
03:43 And so a lot of boys that are growing up
03:46 without their fathers, like Tim said,
03:48 they're looking at this behavior,
03:49 and they're thinking it's normal.
03:51 And then they get caught
03:52 in this cycle of playing video games.
03:54 I think they say
03:55 that the average video game player
03:58 is not a teenage boy, the man is 27.
04:02 And so it's keeping a lot of men
04:04 in a constant state of boyhood.
04:07 And so society wants a man to be one of two things,
04:12 be a woman or be a child.
04:14 But society is not really trying
04:15 to help a man truly become a God-fearing man.
04:19 And I think that, you know, that's true
04:21 because, you know, growing up, I was always,
04:24 you know, my dad always taught me,
04:25 you know, this is what it takes to be a man or what would not,
04:28 but, you know, society did play a big role in
04:31 who I would become because what I became...
04:34 Before I became a Christian,
04:35 what I became in the world was not what my mother
04:39 and father intended me to be.
04:41 And understanding that we, you know...
04:43 I understand that, yes,
04:44 society does play a big role in what,
04:46 you know, man needs to be or who he...
04:48 Or how he has to act.
04:51 But I know Brittany has something
04:53 to say about that.
04:54 I say, our society,
04:56 the role that it plays like it provides the handbook
04:59 for what a man is supposed to be.
05:01 But the handbook is so confusing,
05:04 it makes me glad I'm a woman because I'm hearing...
05:06 You hear so many different things
05:08 in some medias as, you know, Jacques was saying,
05:11 you would see the guy is like a baby,
05:13 the wife has to do everything, and he's just,
05:15 you know, a little bit did see...
05:17 But at least he's home and he's there.
05:19 And other shows, you see a guy who's like,
05:21 "Okay, I have baby mommas everywhere.
05:24 I hear they're in everywhere. This is what I do, I'm a man."
05:26 Or you see, other guys are like,
05:28 "I'm making money, I'm doing, this is what I am."
05:30 And then in the other spectrum, you see...
05:32 It might be a different culture of men,
05:34 but you see these men, they're successful.
05:37 They're walking around in suits.
05:39 They're the attractive men, the strong, powerful men.
05:43 You have so much different types of men
05:46 that are being portrayed, it's like,
05:48 "Okay, should a man be this powerful,
05:51 successful guy who walks around and can get a woman like that,
05:56 should he be this guy who has his pants sagging,
05:59 and he can get these type of women,
06:01 should he be this, should he beat that?"
06:03 At the core, it's so dysfunctional,
06:08 I don't know how men do it.
06:10 And that's interesting
06:11 because, you know, we need to talk a little more
06:13 about that because...
06:14 I mean, right now,
06:16 if you don't have a pen and paper ready,
06:17 you need to have that pen and paper ready
06:19 'cause we're giving all our secrets out here,
06:20 you know, all our secrets out here.
06:21 I know there are some ladies out there
06:23 looking for a good man.
06:24 I know, Jacques.
06:27 Well, I got to promote him one time, only one time.
06:31 But at the same time, you know, in all seriousness,
06:33 I know there's women out there
06:34 that often have that question of what men need
06:37 'cause we say, and Brittany touched base on that,
06:39 you know, we don't come with a manual,
06:40 neither do women,
06:42 but at the same time, it's like what do we need?
06:44 And I want to ask you...
06:45 I want to ask the ladies, how do you define...
06:48 How do you see what does a man need?
06:51 How do you define that, Myesha?
06:54 Well, for one...
06:55 Nowadays, men need respect.
06:57 You know, they're not being respected as men.
07:02 You know, with the media, it plays a part in that.
07:07 Because, I mean, you see a lot of...
07:10 Well, all types of women are disrespecting their man.
07:13 They don't know how to talk to them.
07:16 They don't even know how to treat a man like,
07:18 you know, like Britney said,
07:20 there's no manual how to even be a woman
07:22 and how to even treat a man.
07:24 You know, it is going to go with experience,
07:27 or it's going to go with, you know, seeing another woman
07:31 and how a man really should be treated,
07:33 or even the Word of God itself
07:35 will tell you how to treat a man.
07:38 And clearly, it says, you know, husbands...
07:42 I mean, wives, you have to respect your husbands.
07:45 Brittany?
07:47 I was just thinking about even growing up with all women,
07:52 so I didn't really see men around until I got older.
07:56 And I got to know my dad more.
07:58 And then being in relationship with Xavier, as you said,
08:00 I was trying to figure out, "How do I relate to him?"
08:04 Because you see the TV show, so I'm like,
08:06 "Okay, maybe I'm supposed to be the strong woman
08:10 who tells him what to do."
08:11 But other side,
08:13 "I don't want to be a strong woman
08:14 that tells him what to do.
08:15 I want to just to be there to support him,
08:18 to encourage him, to uplift him when he needs that upliftment."
08:21 So I think that's what men need,
08:25 someone who supports them as they continue to be
08:28 what God has designed them to be,
08:30 to be that helpmate
08:32 because that's what they desire from their women
08:34 to be that support,
08:36 to be there whether things are really, really great
08:39 or really, really bad
08:40 so that they can depend on her.
08:42 And that's true.
08:44 That help me, it's an important factor.
08:45 And also, man,
08:46 I know it sounds funny, but it's refreshing,
08:48 and for the viewers out there, it's refreshing to hear women,
08:51 just as confused about what we need,
08:53 as men are confused about what they need.
08:55 So, yes, we need God in all things
08:58 to be able to understand each other.
09:00 But, Myesha, with regards to respect,
09:02 you mentioned that, and I want this for everybody,
09:05 why do you think respect ranks so high in men, with males?
09:11 I mean it's just so much disrespect
09:13 going on in the world.
09:15 I mean, men are being very belittled.
09:19 And you know, you can say
09:21 it's women that's being belittled,
09:23 but it started with men first.
09:25 You know, and it started in the Garden of Eden,
09:27 you know.
09:29 How Adam, you know, didn't take responsibility,
09:33 so it's basically, you know, automatically,
09:35 when that started, and then, you know, what shows are being,
09:39 you know, on media or they're showing
09:41 that they can't take responsibility.
09:43 They can't handle things the right...
09:46 In proper way, they can't make proper decisions.
09:50 And when that's being pushed out there,
09:52 our men are indecisive, they're confused.
09:54 And all these things,
09:55 when it's been pushed out there,
09:57 and you guys are looking at this,
09:59 you know, you're really thinking to yourself,
10:01 "Am I this type of guy?"
10:03 Or it's being put into your head.
10:05 You know, you're seeing this on TV.
10:07 So obviously, you know, this is a whole image
10:09 that's going to be in your mind eventually.
10:12 And then you're going to start acting out.
10:15 So I just...
10:16 Basically, I think that you should just get
10:18 your counsel from God.
10:21 Tim?
10:23 Going back to the Garden of Eden,
10:25 you know, when sin entered the world,
10:26 it really messed everything up.
10:29 It seriously did a number on men
10:31 and did a number on women,
10:32 and what we're dealing right now,
10:34 as far society goes,
10:35 are the effects, you know, that have happened.
10:37 You know, God gave Adam,
10:39 you know, it was his job tend the garden,
10:41 it was his job to keep it.
10:43 It was his job to protect it, and when he gave Adam Eve,
10:47 this was his job as well.
10:49 So when sin entered into the picture,
10:51 you found that
10:53 it was Adam's job to protect the garden,
10:54 but he was unable to do that because sin crept in.
10:59 And then, when God comes to him and asks him what happened?
11:03 Instead of him taking responsibility,
11:06 instead of him taking his leadership role,
11:08 which would have showed respect,
11:10 he cops out and blames it on his wife now.
11:12 And so now in front of her, he gets demoted by God,
11:16 and in front of the whole universe,
11:18 it looks like Adam,
11:19 you know, couldn't handle his business.
11:21 And so now they've created this yearning in men
11:24 to be able to be respected
11:26 for being able to handle their business,
11:29 to take care of the things that God gave them.
11:33 And this is why it plays such a pivotal role.
11:35 And this is why Satan has twisted society
11:37 into disrespecting and belittling men,
11:41 so they won't step
11:42 and take charge as God wants them to do,
11:45 in the way He wants them to, not in a perverted way.
11:48 And I like what you're saying
11:49 because, you know, if it's just God's saying
11:51 that men, you know, are looking for that respect,
11:54 it's not just God, it's also psychology,
11:56 you know, regular psychology, regular science,
11:59 even they rank that respect is one of the highest things
12:02 that a man looks for, both in relationships,
12:06 from coworkers, from friends, whatever they do,
12:08 they're always looking for that respect.
12:11 And respect can actually get...
12:13 Not getting that respect, you know, it really,
12:16 I guess, you know, it hits your ego or hits,
12:17 you know, your male...
12:19 Or who you are as a man,
12:20 it kind of hits you when they break you down.
12:23 I don't know, what do you think, Jacques?
12:25 One of the interesting things about that is
12:28 just how different God made us.
12:31 You know, a man wanting respect,
12:33 it makes so much sense to me,
12:35 you know, because
12:37 being in the military for three years,
12:40 the military is...
12:42 The whole entire culture is built on respect.
12:45 You literally wear your rank on your chest.
12:48 And so when you're talking to someone
12:50 who outranks you, you speak a certain way.
12:54 If you're talking to a non-commissioned officer,
12:56 you have your hands behind your back.
12:57 If you're talking to a commissioned officer,
13:00 you're standing at the position of attention.
13:02 You know, even if you're frustrated,
13:04 you watch your tone of voice.
13:05 And that makes so much sense to men.
13:08 And so like growing up in that culture, so to speak,
13:13 I fully can understand that.
13:15 But when I was talking
13:16 with my friend's wife about respect,
13:20 she was telling me
13:21 how when she read a relationship book,
13:23 she was so confused, how the first pages said,
13:27 "Your love is not enough. He needs your respect."
13:31 And so I think that a lot of women,
13:32 they don't really understand that their husbands,
13:35 they want their wives' respect more than they want their love.
13:40 And I knew many men, when I was in the military
13:42 that they would spend so much time at work,
13:45 and they wouldn't like to go home
13:47 because here you are as an officer,
13:49 a non-commissioned officer,
13:51 everyone in the company respects you,
13:53 and then you go home,
13:55 and your wife is trying to treat you like a child.
13:57 And so those are things that I saw
13:59 while I was in the military.
14:01 And I resonate with that,
14:02 but I want to give credit to my wonderful wife over here,
14:04 she sure want to say something, go ahead, go ahead.
14:06 I think respect shows that you are valued.
14:10 When I'm thinking about respecting someone,
14:13 I'm going to respect someone
14:14 who, like you said, higher rank.
14:16 They know what they're doing, they know what they're about,
14:20 I trust this person,
14:22 and I think this person, you know, is about something.
14:27 It's like, when you see, like, a vagrant on the street,
14:29 your automatic response isn't to respect them,
14:31 because you're thinking
14:33 that what they're doing with their lives.
14:34 They're not doing anything.
14:35 But yet, if a pastor walks in, I'm going to respect him,
14:38 because he is doing this...
14:40 He's serving God, doing this.
14:42 It's like, because you're about something
14:44 that makes me want to respect you.
14:47 And I think when a guy is being respected, it shows him,
14:50 "Okay, she realizes that I am about something,
14:53 that I am doing something with my life,
14:55 that I am of this great value, that I can be trusted,
14:58 that she can depend, that she can lean on me,
15:00 so she's going to respect me because of these things.
15:05 And I want to put in a disclaimer,
15:06 just in case anybody watching things,
15:09 we're not saying that men don't want to be loved
15:12 or that they don't need to be loved,
15:14 what we're seeing is how they identify the love
15:18 that comes from their wife
15:19 is through a mechanism of respect in them
15:22 at the same time."
15:24 And I want to say something about that.
15:26 I believe that when a woman respects her man,
15:28 that is a form of loving him
15:30 or letting him know that she does love him,
15:34 because you can't automatically just yell
15:39 and say whatever you want to this man,
15:41 and he's going to think that you love him.
15:44 You have to show that you love him,
15:46 you have to give him that reassurance
15:47 that you love him.
15:50 And respect is one of the main things
15:52 that will show him that.
15:53 So based on that, you know, what men...
15:55 One of the things that man need is respect.
15:57 But I'm also wondering,
15:58 you know, regards to this whole concept of respect,
16:01 God, Christianity,
16:03 you know, I'm sure we need a little more than
16:06 just respect or love, you know.
16:08 I want to know what your thoughts are of
16:10 as what God says a man needs.
16:13 And I know, Tim, you touched on that earlier.
16:16 You talked about the Garden of Eden, Myesha,
16:17 you talked about the Garden of Eden as well, help me.
16:19 So being that,
16:21 you know, we're talking about that a little bit,
16:22 I want to know, why does God feel
16:24 that a helpmate is so important to a man?
16:28 Why is it exactly? What mechanism does that play?
16:32 Well, for one, she has...
16:34 I've always been told that a woman is a man's backbone,
16:37 you know, she always has his back in anything,
16:41 you know, outside the home as well as inside the home.
16:46 Clearly, God,
16:50 He is amazing the way He made woman and man.
16:53 Okay, a rib wasn't taken out of a woman,
16:57 you know, to make a man.
16:58 That's the other way around.
17:00 Let's speak about the correction.
17:02 It was a man's rib that was taken out
17:05 and given to a woman to make woman.
17:08 Okay, so clearly we see
17:10 that the man is an important role
17:13 as well as the woman, they're both are equal,
17:16 but the man is the leader.
17:19 Okay, but we live in a progressive society though.
17:23 Can I find that...
17:24 Do I have to find a helpmate in a woman?
17:26 Can't I just find a helpmate in another man?
17:28 No.
17:29 Well, not in the context of what God says,
17:32 like we were talking about earlier.
17:34 I mean, we can find whatever we want
17:35 if we want to do whatever we want to do.
17:37 You know, but if we're going
17:39 to talk about what the Bible says,
17:41 we see that God made Adam and the way He made him,
17:45 He made him with this sense to have a helpmate which...
17:49 And to be, you know, validated by his wife.
17:52 Like Jacques was saying earlier about the military,
17:54 you could be doing...
17:56 I mean, the world can tell you
17:58 that you're the greatest guy on earth,
18:01 but when you come home, if in your wife's eyes,
18:04 you know, you don't have that support,
18:06 if she doesn't think so, if she doesn't think
18:08 any of your accomplishments or anything,
18:10 you might fake it,
18:11 but that will cut worse
18:13 than all the accolades that the world could give you.
18:16 And so God knew that men were built
18:18 with needing the support system from a woman, supporting him,
18:24 encouraging him, encouragement is big.
18:28 "Hey, you did a good job."
18:29 You know, "Hey, you did a nice job,"
18:31 through both sexes,
18:32 but God knew that men needed those things too.
18:34 Jacques, you wanted to say something?
18:37 I was going to say that
18:38 another reason why Adam needed a helpmate
18:40 is because one of his major purposes
18:42 was to reflect the image of God.
18:45 You know, man was made in God's image.
18:47 And God is triune, you know, three in one.
18:52 And so there is no way for a triune God
18:55 to be reflected in one person.
18:57 And so they're needed
18:59 to be some other characteristics
19:01 to be displayed for the whole entire universe,
19:04 and that's where Eve came along.
19:06 She displayed some of the other characteristics of God
19:09 while Adam had some of the other ones.
19:11 And they came perfectly together.
19:13 And before sin, it was a perfect union
19:15 like God, the Father, and His son.
19:18 After sin,
19:19 that's when the human family started fighting.
19:21 And I think that's all great points
19:23 because we often take the Bible for granted, as a joke,
19:27 or a set of rules and regulations
19:29 that are there just to oppress us,
19:31 but what man need first is God.
19:34 You know, and God, once he needed God,
19:36 he saw it fit to put him to sleep
19:38 and make a woman out of him, a better half,
19:40 if you so call that,
19:42 you know, somebody that would complete him
19:44 aside from God.
19:45 You know, triune,
19:46 you know, that's why the marriage
19:49 or, you know, what man need is a woman, not a man,
19:53 a woman to replicate
19:55 or duplicate a symbol of the Trinity,
19:58 you know, to bring this union and bond together under God.
20:02 And I think it's important to understand
20:04 the concept of a helpmate
20:05 'cause there's a difference between
20:07 an anchor versus a helpmate.
20:10 You know, 'cause there's a lot of men out there,
20:13 and they all say, "You know, she's my helpmate."
20:15 And she's not a bad person, but she's not the right person.
20:19 So what role do you think that plays
20:21 into a man's character and what a man needs,
20:24 you know, the fact that you find somebody
20:27 that seems to be a "helpmate,"
20:28 but, in fact, they tend to be more detrimental than good?
20:31 Yes, Jacques.
20:32 Well, I tell, when looking for helpmate,
20:34 you should see, "Can this person help me?"
20:39 There you go, there you go.
20:41 Because if you're in the course of ministry
20:43 or if you're...
20:44 If you know the course or the trajectory of your life,
20:51 you have to look at this woman and say,
20:53 "Does she fit in with God's plan for my life?"
20:56 She might be godly,
20:58 you know, she might be a nice woman,
21:00 she might make a good mother someday,
21:03 but that does not mean that God has her for you,
21:06 because God might have her in,
21:08 let's say, the field of health sciences,
21:11 while God has for you something else,
21:14 maybe He wants you to be a missionary.
21:16 And so both of your plans
21:17 are in accordance with God's will,
21:19 but the God does not want to mesh those two.
21:22 He wants you guys to go your separate ways.
21:24 And so you have to make sure
21:25 that this person can help you in the plan
21:28 that God has given for you
21:29 or else that person isn't for you,
21:31 whether they're a good Christian or not.
21:33 Praise the Lord.
21:34 You know, that's a good man, right there.
21:36 You're a good man.
21:38 You know, we're praying about you, we're praying,
21:40 we're praying.
21:41 Right.
21:43 And I just want to add that
21:46 both people need to be ready for those roles.
21:48 It might be a good woman
21:50 or it might be nothing wrong with her,
21:51 but right now, where God has her,
21:54 He doesn't have her in a place
21:55 where she's going to be a helpmate,
21:57 you know, whatever He has going on in her life,
21:59 and maybe He doesn't have the man in a place where he,
22:03 you know, and essentially needs that support.
22:04 Going back to the Garden, Adam, at first, he didn't need any,
22:08 you know, help naming all the animals.
22:10 That was a job that God gave him to do,
22:12 and he could do it.
22:13 But for the rest of his duties, He saw fit to give him a wife,
22:17 and gave him Eve.
22:18 And so you might be at different places
22:20 where God doesn't want you to mesh like that yet
22:23 for whatever you're doing, maybe in ministry,
22:25 it could be your own character traits
22:28 because you'll find out that once you get married,
22:31 you're a little bit more crazier
22:32 than you thought you were.
22:34 You know, and there are some things
22:35 that you had to work out
22:37 that you just didn't see before,
22:38 but that other person is there
22:40 and these things come out on the table
22:42 and, you know, God fixes and solves things.
22:45 But, you know, you might be at a certain place in your life
22:47 where it's just not the right time for that.
22:50 That is true. That is true.
22:51 When you get married, you know, speaking from experience,
22:53 my lovely wife, you know, some things do come up,
22:56 and you actually start seeing your own necessities,
22:58 needs that you didn't even thought you had.
23:01 You see that reflected upon your spouse, on your wife,
23:04 that you begin to see those needs,
23:05 you know, come out,
23:07 you know, you didn't think you needed...
23:08 You thought you were patient enough,
23:11 you need a little more.
23:13 You thought, you know, "I love my wife, I'm patient,
23:15 I'm patient, I'm patient, I know that,"
23:16 I love my wife though.
23:18 She's not...
23:19 She's very patient with me, I should say.
23:20 She's very patient with me.
23:22 But it's good, you know,
23:23 you need that little bit of wisdom,
23:24 you can go to your spouse.
23:26 We're reading a devotional,
23:27 you know, the other day about getting that wisdom
23:29 from your spouse.
23:30 So I think that need is there for men to really, you know,
23:33 gear down and really figure out what they want.
23:35 But one more question I want to ask,
23:38 and I want to ask our viewers too,
23:40 you know, reflect on this question.
23:43 What and why does pornography
23:46 plays or seem to play such a big necessity
23:50 in man's life today?
23:51 Why is pornography such a big need for men?
23:54 And is this something that men should want?
23:57 Well, I think it,
23:59 you know, goes a little bit piggybacking off
24:00 the first question.
24:02 What society is telling men what they should be,
24:05 that society, every time
24:08 they pose a man, as she was saying,
24:10 they look like there are men that's good sexually
24:15 and can get a lot of women and things of that nature.
24:18 And so they feed to men a lot of the physical
24:21 that they're supposed to have.
24:22 You're supposed to have physical success
24:24 with money and cars,
24:26 you're supposed to have physical fitness with the body,
24:28 and you're supposed to be physically good in bed.
24:31 And so if you don't get a lot of these girls,
24:34 if you don't get a lot of these things,
24:35 or if you believe in society,
24:37 and they have over-stimulated your sexuality,
24:40 now you can go to pornography and get that release
24:42 or get that manly feeling as it were
24:45 'cause you're a man
24:46 so this is what you're supposed to do.
24:48 You're supposed to be a sexual kind of creature,
24:50 animal, almost as it were.
24:52 Jacques?
24:54 I'd say that a lot of men feel like they need pornography
24:57 because our natural desire that God gave every man.
25:02 Every man wants to feel like a woman wants him.
25:06 And deep down inside,
25:07 every man wants a woman to want him.
25:09 You know, we might not talk about it,
25:11 we might not express it,
25:12 but that's the trap of pornography.
25:15 It's taking something that God gave us
25:16 because that is a desire from God,
25:18 to be wanted by a person of the opposite sex.
25:22 It takes that legitimate desire
25:24 and then it gives us a false way,
25:27 an illegitimate way,
25:28 to fulfill that legitimate desire.
25:30 What do you guys think though?
25:32 I want to ask the woman too
25:33 because it's been testosterone time here.
25:35 We should ask the ladies too.
25:36 Why do you guys think pornography plays
25:38 such a big role?
25:39 I think pornography plays such a big role
25:40 because across the board when...
25:43 Earlier, I was talking about
25:44 how society has those different concepts
25:46 for different men.
25:48 But one thing that has been, I want to say,
25:52 straight in every single part,
25:55 whether he is a very successful man, he has sex,
25:59 whether he is the wimp, yes,
26:02 he's going to get sex from his wife.
26:04 No matter what it is,
26:05 sex plays such a significant role
26:07 for every single different type of guy.
26:10 And that probably plays a part of it 'cause,
26:13 "Okay, I'm supposed to want it."
26:15 Even Christian woman would say that's all men want.
26:18 And that's how men are treated to be like,
26:22 if you don't have this problem, you're not really a man,
26:26 maybe something's wrong with your parts.
26:28 Wow.
26:29 What do you think, Myesha?
26:31 She said everything.
26:34 That's easier. That's a good one.
26:35 Good one there.
26:37 Now woman got to stick together, right?
26:39 But, you know, in all seriousness,
26:41 what men need, you know,
26:43 aside from what I'm going to say,
26:45 you know, they need Jesus,
26:47 aside from that, they need that validation,
26:49 you know, from good friends, from good godly friends.
26:53 They need that validation from, you know, their coworkers,
26:56 a support group, you know, really need to engage
26:59 because, as men,
27:00 we're not allowed to share our emotions.
27:02 But that's where you find that good support system
27:04 with your friends, with your guy friends,
27:06 and with your spouse.
27:07 You know, open up those lines of communication
27:09 with your wife.
27:11 Be able to, you know, open up to her and speak to her
27:13 because society tells us we can't share our emotions,
27:16 we can't share our feelings,
27:18 but God says, "You two are one."
27:20 So you need to communicate as one, understand each other,
27:24 get to know each other.
27:26 If this is a point in your marriage
27:27 where you're struggling
27:28 or maybe you're single and you're struggling,
27:31 find a refuge in Christ,
27:33 find a refuge in good godly friends,
27:34 find a refuge in your local church.
27:37 Understand that what men need is not what society says.
27:40 Men don't need just sex, don't need just alcohol,
27:43 don't need just food, or anything like that.
27:46 Men need a lot more to find that fulfillment.
27:49 And that fulfillment is not only found
27:51 in that rib that was once taken in the Garden of Eden.
27:53 That fulfillment is also found
27:55 in the loving arms of Jesus Christ.
27:57 We must understand that, as men,
28:00 we have a higher calling what the world says.
28:02 But, as always, remember to make pure choices.


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Revised 2018-05-17