Participants: Brittany Hill-Morales (Host), Dajanae Anderson, Keith Hackle Jr
Series Code: PC
Program Code: PC000128A
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00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned that some material 00:05 may be too candid for younger children. 00:40 Hello, welcome to Pure Choices. 00:42 My name is Brittany Hill-Morales 00:44 and I'll be today's host. 00:46 We have a great topic today. 00:49 We're talking about routine versus spontaneity, 00:52 trying to maintain the success of your marriage, 00:55 the happiness in your marriage so that you can go all the way. 00:59 But before we start this discussion, 01:01 let's pray. 01:02 Dear kindly most heavenly Father, 01:04 dear Lord, I pray that You will be with us right here 01:06 as we're having this discussion. 01:08 You also be here with the viewers at home. 01:09 We love you so much, in Jesus' name, amen. 01:13 Amen. Amen. 01:14 So before we begin, 01:16 let's introduce our wonderful guests. 01:19 We have Mrs. Dajanae Anderson from Texas, 01:22 she's a graduate student. 01:23 And we also have Keith Hackle from Iowa 01:25 who is a pastor over there. 01:28 So routine versus spontaneity. 01:31 We've all been married for a different lengths of time. 01:35 I've been married for over two years now, 01:38 happily married, I do love my husband. 01:40 And, Dajanae, you've been recently married, 01:42 so it's going to be about four months in December. 01:44 Right. 01:45 And Keith, you've been married for over 12 years. 01:50 Yes. 01:52 So I believe that each one of us had expectations 01:55 before we got married 01:56 and we probably heard a few tips and ideas 01:59 on how to be successful in our marriage. 02:03 Just for a few moments just talk about what you heard, 02:06 what you're doing now and maybe even for those 02:09 who've been married a little bit longer, 02:10 what has kind of been going wrong kind of discussion. 02:14 For me, I didn't hear anything. 02:17 As a matter of fact, 02:18 there's very few examples in my family 02:21 or in general circle of marriages that have lasted. 02:25 So when we got together, it was like, okay, 02:27 well, the expectation is a couple years maybe, 02:32 maybe five years if we argue long enough after that 02:35 and then there wouldn't be a marriage after that. 02:37 So coming together there wasn't many expectations. 02:42 But once we got together, 02:44 I will say this there was a wonderful couple, 02:46 brilliant couple who we asked him a question, 02:48 they've been married for I think 30 years, 02:51 children went off to do great. 02:52 And so one day I asked him, I said, 02:53 "How did you all survive? 02:55 What did you do?" 02:56 And I think they gave me a response that was different 03:00 but I value it now. 03:02 They said you need to understand 03:04 that your children are important. 03:05 Your children are important but your children 03:08 are just a product of the marriage. 03:10 What's important is the marriage. 03:12 So you make sure, that's what the husband said, 03:14 he said, you make sure you pour into your marriage, 03:17 take that time out, send the kids away 03:20 and you all go and take some time together 03:22 one-on-one because if you take care of the kids 03:25 but the marriage suffers, 03:27 what happens when they're 18 years old? 03:29 They go off to college. 03:30 Now you have the stranger in the house with you 03:31 who you don't know 03:33 and it makes it difficult for you to go 03:34 from 18 years to 36 years now. 03:38 But I knew so many couples 03:39 who at that point of 18 years old 03:41 when the kids were leaving, 03:43 all of a sudden they're filing for divorce. 03:44 And it was strange to me as how that would happen 03:47 and putting those two things together, 03:49 I began to realize he was right, 03:50 they focused on the kids 03:51 but they didn't focus on the marriage. 03:53 Right. Yeah. 03:54 Right. 03:56 And I think that's crazy to me 'cause I have... 03:58 I'm originally from California and I have some friends, 04:01 you know, of different religious backgrounds 04:05 and I have one friend in particular 04:07 who's not really associated 04:09 with any religious background at all. 04:11 And she was saying that her concept, 04:15 people who have no religious background, 04:16 not everyone thinks this way, 04:17 this is just particular for her. 04:19 She was saying that's the only purpose of marriage. 04:23 She was saying the only reason why it's socially acceptable 04:28 to get married is to have children 04:30 and then raise those children until they're 18. 04:33 So that, you know, there's a unit 04:35 that they can go back to but once they're 18, 04:37 they're adults now, they move out, 04:39 they have their own lives, you can decide to stay married 04:42 but that's not really like the process 04:44 and the purpose of marriage is just to raise a child 04:48 or multiple children. 04:50 And I think within Christianity 04:54 we don't except that as the truth. 04:58 And so, yeah, that's what I thought about 05:02 as you made that statement. 05:04 I would probably add, Dajanae, that we may not write it down 05:11 and say this is the truth but that's how we behave. 05:14 Right. 05:16 I remember reading experience of a young lady and she said, 05:19 "I'm 99% mother and 1% wife." 05:23 And she basically discussed that it was important 05:26 for her to focus on her kids. 05:29 Dropping them off at school, picking them up, 05:32 taking them to soccer games, all these different things, 05:35 that was her focus. 05:37 She sees her husband, she's like, 05:38 "Do take out the trash?" 05:40 And then she keeps on moving. 05:42 And she basically concluded that hopefully maybe 05:46 by the end of this all she will know him 05:50 and he will know her, but right now 05:51 she can't focus on him right now 05:53 because she's 99% mother and 1% wife. 05:58 And there was a flip to it 05:59 where someone have tried to said, 06:00 "Wait no, you need to be 06:03 51% wife and 49% mother." 06:09 Your relationship to your spouse is primary. 06:14 Yes, you never know if you're going to have 06:16 to change up your times 06:17 between your husband and your children, 06:21 but you have to put your spouse as primary 06:23 because without your spouse the kids are not there. 06:27 And I'm thinking about my experience. 06:31 Maybe I'm just imagining it but when my husband and I kiss 06:36 my little daughter looks up and she's like smiling. 06:38 Yeah. 06:39 There's like this happiness and glare versus 06:42 if we were at odds or are constantly fighting 06:44 or arguing there. 06:46 And outside of the kids, 06:48 but if you're putting your kids first 06:49 and that's a reason why you should focus 06:52 on your relationship, your marriage, 06:54 keep that connection. 06:56 Everything else feels at odds when you don't focus 07:01 on your husband and that's why there is so much, 07:04 you know, sexless marriages. 07:06 Yeah, it's true. 07:07 Yeah, I would definitely agree with you. 07:09 I appreciate that correction because there's, 07:11 I think the correction that you just made 07:13 is even though we do not have that in writing 07:18 as you say, it's not a doctrine, 07:20 it's not in our dogma to say that marriage 07:24 is just to raise a child, that's how we behave, 07:27 some of us, that's how some of us behave 07:30 and to the statement of your child, 07:34 you know, valuing the intimacy, 07:37 the affection there she sees taking place 07:39 between you and your husband, I think about... 07:42 My parents are going through divorce right now 07:44 and while our home was never a perfect home. 07:49 I remember when my parents bought the first house. 07:52 And we had a house warming and like my parents, 07:56 and part of the house warming they came together 07:59 and my dad like dipped my mom down 08:02 and kissed her and like my heart, 08:05 I was happy, you know, there was a... 08:09 My parents are giving each other affection like, 08:12 that's so beautiful, 08:14 that so like it was great to me. 08:15 I still have that memory locked into my mind. 08:18 And so yeah, there is a, and then the other reality 08:23 is I'm 24 years old and my family, 08:27 my parents are still 08:30 very, very big into who I am 08:35 that having the base 08:38 of parents together 08:42 is still necessary for adult children. 08:46 And so yeah, I would definitely agree with that. 08:50 And the Bible says 08:52 that a good man leaves an inheritance 08:54 for his children's children, right? 08:57 And so you're going beyond just your children 08:59 to now your grandchildren 09:01 and we often look at money, right? 09:04 Possessions and things like that, 09:06 but an inheritance that we need to consider also 09:09 is a family unit, right? 09:11 So in many cases we are inheriting brokenness, 09:16 and hatred, divisiveness, those are all the things 09:19 that we're inheriting but really 09:20 what God would like for us to inherit 09:22 or to leave for our children is love and compassion, 09:25 and caring, right? 09:26 So my kids can come home for the holidays 09:30 and they can spend time with the family 09:32 and then not only that but later, 09:34 the grandchildren can come home and spend time with the family 09:38 and so that doesn't happen though 09:40 if mom and dad don't know each other, 09:42 if they're not on the same page, 09:44 then that doesn't happen. 09:45 So it's important when we look at having a relationship 09:48 with one another as husband and wife, we are, 09:51 if we're doing it the right way, 09:53 we are actually doing this for our children. 09:55 And we are actually doing this for our grandchildren. 09:57 And hopefully if God gives us the opportunity even 10:00 for our great grandchildren, this becomes a lineage 10:04 where you'd know when I marry someone, 10:06 I might be with this person for the rest of my life, 10:08 not for a couple of years... 10:10 Right. 10:11 Not for a couple months, and in this day and age, 10:13 a couple weeks. 10:15 But this is life... Yeah. 10:16 This is for life. 10:18 And that's important for us to develop as a society. 10:22 Yeah, so some of the ways that, you know, 10:26 we try to keep that going because, 10:30 and I think one of the myths is also that 10:33 if you are within Christianity, if you're in Christ, 10:37 and you guys both love the Lord and you get married, 10:42 then you're not going to have any problems 10:45 and that you will stay married forever 10:47 as long as you maintain your Christian values. 10:52 And there's more to within that, 10:55 that yes, it is still, you know, 10:57 keeping a relationship with Christ is always number one 10:59 and primary foundational, I mean, 11:01 for us the peace is without it. 11:03 But within that there are some manifestations 11:06 that I believe the Spirit of God 11:08 can lead us into and that the Spirit of God 11:11 gives wisdom to us and gives wisdom 11:13 to other people to give to us, 11:15 to know how to maintain a relationship. 11:19 And so sometimes there's a necessity, 11:23 I've heard 'cause I have not yet raised children 11:25 but I've heard, you know, 11:27 psychologists say and Christians say, 11:29 routine is necessary. 11:32 Routine is necessary for anything 11:34 that's going to be long lasting. 11:37 There's a routine that churches have. 11:40 There's a routine that schools have. 11:42 There's a routine that businesses have 11:45 in order to function consistently 11:47 over a long period of time. 11:49 And so in the same way marriages need routine. 11:53 And I think the other thing that you were bringing up 11:57 is the difference between what happens if I have routine 12:00 but I have no, there's no surprises. 12:03 You know, can my marriage still be strong if we just stay 12:07 within the routine aspect of it? 12:10 I was about to bring that up because recently statistics 12:15 are showing that, you know, divorce is declining, 12:17 the rates of divorce is declining. 12:19 But the reason why the rates of divorce is declining 12:22 is the rates of marriages 12:24 have also not been happening as frequently 12:26 because people are not getting married. 12:28 And one of the reasons some people say 12:30 is marriage is boring. 12:33 It's not spontaneous. You don't have any fun. 12:37 We are all married. 12:38 I don't think that's true. Right. 12:41 My marriage is exciting but like you said 12:43 routine is important. 12:45 And for me personally my marriage right now 12:49 that's what we're trying to establish, 12:51 a routine to give us something to look forward to, 12:53 seeing on Sundays that's my day off, 12:56 for every other Sunday is my day off 12:58 and other Sunday is your day off. 13:00 Mondays you have the freedom, Tuesdays I don't 13:02 because it gives you something to look forward to. 13:05 You get excited saying, "Okay, Wednesday is our date night. 13:09 That is our date time." 13:10 And it's not only exciting for us, 13:12 but it's also exciting for the children 13:13 because they know Wednesday is that time 13:16 when mommy's gonna dress up, daddy's gonna dress up 13:19 and they gonna walk out and they gonna be so happy, 13:22 and uncle so-and-so or nana 13:24 or somebody is going to babysit me 13:26 so they can be together. 13:28 So routine is important. 13:30 I'm having too much spontaneous when I don't know 13:32 if we're gonna have date night or not, 13:35 that doesn't make me happy, I'm just gonna be honest. 13:37 I love my husband, he loves me, but when we don't know 13:40 if it's actually gonna happen 13:41 because something else is going on, it messes up. 13:44 And if we don't have devotion every morning at the same time, 13:47 it messes the entire day up because routine does have 13:51 an importance especially in marriage. 13:53 Right. 13:54 There is our premarital counselors 13:58 where they demonstrate something for us, 14:01 they've never verbalized it 14:03 but they've demonstrated something for us in that. 14:08 The husband doesn't necessarily celebrate his wife 14:14 during the holidays. 14:16 So birthday, Valentine's day, that's not, you know, 14:22 he's kind of rebellious, and that he's not, 14:25 our society says this is the time 14:26 that I'm supposed to love my wife. 14:29 He says I do it but I do it all the time. 14:32 I buy her flowers and I'll see like, 14:34 "What's going on? 14:35 Why you have this big bouquet?" 14:37 If I was like, "Oh, he just bought it for me." 14:38 And he started to have his whole eye, you know, 14:39 just light up, it just lights up. 14:43 And they've been married for years. 14:45 They've been married for I think over 30, 40 years. 14:50 And that's something that they do to randomly, you know, 14:54 bring her flowers or randomly, you know, 14:55 just something that she likes. 14:57 And I think that there is also something 14:59 that wives can do for their husbands 15:01 to spice up the relationship, 15:04 do something spontaneous just to keep the flowing, 15:09 keep the chemistry going over long periods of time. 15:14 I agree. All have calendars, right? 15:19 And it's easy for us to fill up our calendars 15:21 with things to do. 15:22 And it was during a Bible study one time 15:25 and so when I was reading Bible study 15:26 and it talked about the Sabbath, 15:31 it was talking about the Sabbath 15:32 and how that's God's special day to Him, 15:35 to be with us, that's His special day, 15:37 He looks forward to that 15:39 and we should look forward to that. 15:40 But to tell the story of the Sabbath, 15:42 he used another analogy of a dad 15:44 who had these little children 15:46 and they found his calendar or something like that. 15:49 And they were looking in there and every single Wednesday 15:51 to your point, it had a date with my best friend. 15:55 Date with my best friend. 15:57 And then looking at this 15:58 and they were like, "Wait a minute. 15:59 Dad has on his calendar every single week 16:02 in his calendar date with my best friend." 16:05 And so they were able to see how important it was today, 16:08 he put it on his calendar. 16:10 And so I had to take that away and I began putting my wife 16:12 and my children they each have their days 16:14 and things like that, and to be able to see that 16:16 in your calendar let you know that 16:18 that person values this time, right? 16:21 And so that's being consistent. 16:22 But then there are times 16:24 where you need to get off script, 16:27 it's important. 16:28 So just a couple weeks ago, if I can just share a story, 16:30 my wife was at school, 16:32 she's studying to be a nurse right now 16:33 and she was expecting to be in there. 16:35 Wednesdays are her long days and so I just showed up one day 16:39 and brought her lunch 16:41 and I didn't know where she was, 16:42 the lady went found her and she's thinking 16:44 something's wrong but it's like, 16:45 I just have lunch for you today. 16:46 And a stuff like that allows you to know 16:49 either with having the scheduled date, 16:51 those spontaneous things 16:54 just keep everything fresh, right? 16:56 And new, and so it's important to have the schedule things, 17:00 it's important to be spontaneous 17:02 if you want your marriage to last for a long time. 17:05 It's important. Completely. 17:07 And like you said, routine to create a symbol, 17:11 it's like okay, Dad really loves Mom. 17:14 He really cares about her. Yes. 17:16 She's not just this person who he had to be with 17:18 because of me. 17:20 And kids know that, they feel it, 17:22 my parents are just together because of me. 17:24 We're going back to trying to keep your match 17:26 'cause you don't want to be divorced. 17:28 I think all of us we entered marriage 17:30 not having the mentality... Long-term. 17:31 We want long-term all the way. Yes, yes. 17:33 Until Christ comes. 17:35 We hear about routines and we hear all these 17:37 different great ideas. 17:39 Date nights and all this different stuff, 17:40 we want to implement all of them. 17:42 Yes. One time. 17:43 Yes. Yes. 17:44 Not going to work, it's not gonna work. 17:46 You have to implement small things one at a time, 17:51 I think it only takes 21 days or 21 times 17:54 for something to happen to create a habit. 17:56 If you're trying to do everything at one time, 17:59 it's going to overload. 18:03 Something's gonna not happen 18:05 and you gonna have frustration or upset. 18:07 So how do you go about trying to start small 18:11 and figuring out what to add to the routine? 18:15 Well, my schedule, specially being a pastor, 18:19 we've been intentional to say this is our time. 18:23 And so we just say this is our day, 18:25 this is what we're gonna go for, 18:26 but we also understand 18:28 that there's things that might come up 18:29 and that's important to communicate those things 18:31 that are gonna come up 18:32 and so your spouse doesn't feel like 18:34 they're being let down, but they also need to know 18:37 that you value this time, right? 18:39 And so it might be going out just for a walk, 18:44 going to the park and taking some pictures, 18:46 taking some selfies together 18:47 and just being able to spend some time together. 18:49 We've done a good job of not necessarily 18:52 always nailing down what we're going to do 18:55 but to be able to say this is your time, 18:57 this is our time together. 18:59 We don't know what we're gonna do, 19:00 we might just go off the cuff this particular week 19:03 or we may plan something for months down the line, 19:06 but this time is dedicated to you 19:09 and that helps make that thing work, 19:12 and it lets the other person know 19:14 that you really care about them. 19:15 Yeah, so I make a silly face 19:17 because as you just stated a little while ago, 19:21 I've only been married for about four months. 19:23 So we're still trying to work that, 19:26 we're still trying to make that happen 19:28 and being completely lost. 19:29 We're still trying to make that happen. 19:31 We're in a new place being married, 19:35 I literally graduated my undergrad, 19:37 started working for my school, and then getting married 19:44 and moving to a whole another state. 19:47 And so, and we're in that state because my husband's 19:51 intern chaplain at the hospital there, 19:53 doing his CPE clinical pastoral education 19:56 and so we're still trying to work those things out. 20:01 So in turn, you know, 20:02 he comes home and it's like okay, 20:04 now it's time for you to tell me about your day. 20:07 Now it's time for us to regroup since we've been separate 20:11 for most of the day. 20:13 I mean, now we're here, so that's when, you know, 20:16 small thing that we are just beginning 20:19 to put into play. 20:21 But everything is not yet, you know, we're new so... 20:24 You know, but that's important though 20:26 to be able to just say, "Listen, and I'm coming in 20:29 and I'm just sharing my day with you." 20:31 That's important. 20:32 Like you actually listening to me, right? 20:33 Like put your phone down like and actually look respond, 20:37 like that's important and then you... 20:38 Say that again, put your phone down. 20:40 Put your phone down, don't you feel like 20:43 can I get some eye contact. 20:45 I got a friend, he says this to his wife, he says, 20:47 just be present, can you be present? 20:49 Well, there's just a moment, I understand you're busy. 20:51 But that's a start. 20:53 And so also don't try to gauge, I know Facebook is huge, 20:59 so you can look at people's pictures 21:00 and everybody always smiling 21:02 in their Facebook pictures, right? 21:03 So there's never a bad day on Facebook 21:05 and we begin to measure our life 21:06 by people's Facebook pages. 21:08 But we don't see the times 21:10 where they weren't smiling, right? 21:12 This could be the first time they went on vacation 21:14 in 20 years and to us it looks like 21:16 they go on vacation every week. 21:17 So just get your thing and say this is us, 21:21 even if it's just coming home from work, 21:23 putting the phone down and just talking. 21:26 Another thing that works for us 21:28 and my family this is important, 21:29 sitting down and eating meal together. 21:31 Yeah. Eating a meal together. 21:34 We may have a video watched, being shown 21:38 or something like that but we're eating together, 21:39 we're not in different rooms or anything like that. 21:42 And so that gives us time. 21:44 My kids know, my wife knows, we're eating dinner together, 21:47 you know, call me if I'm out, 21:48 "Dude, we're about to eat dinner, 21:50 you need to get home." 21:51 And so that's our sit down time and even if it's just that, 21:53 and at that time 21:55 you're bouncing stuff off each other, 21:56 starting somewhere is vitally important. 21:58 Yeah, we do that. We do that too. 22:00 Like my husband, his family, they used to eat 22:05 and go to their separate rooms and towards the end 22:08 before I went to college, my family began to do that too. 22:11 We didn't sit down at the table. 22:14 Food will be cooked and when you're ready to eat, 22:16 you grab your food and then people go 22:18 to different parts of the house 22:20 but because he didn't have it, he told me we eat, 22:24 you're gonna be at the table and I'm cool with that... 22:27 Yes. 22:28 You know, and it's definitely an intimate time 22:31 that we have that's not, 22:33 you know, different level of intimacy 22:35 but it's intentional being present, 22:38 looking at you, responding, computer is close, 22:41 Facebook is put away, 22:43 telephone is put away, you know, 22:44 we may have some music playing, you know, 22:46 if the computer is open but the face of the computer 22:49 is facing the wall, you know, kind of the things. 22:51 So yeah, that's definitely valuable. 22:54 So some things that we've discussed thus far 22:55 about having successful marriages, 22:58 things to implement to help you press forward, 23:01 things like being intentional, being present, 23:05 completely present, no Facebook, no Instagram, 23:07 no Twitter, not watching TV sometimes but not... 23:12 Now that should not be your only way 23:13 to spend time with each other. 23:15 Right. 23:16 Making sure you're putting each other first 23:18 and spending that quality time 23:20 so you don't wake up one day wondering who did I marry? 23:23 Who are you? Why are you here? 23:25 Because people change. Right. 23:27 And I think another thing that you guys having mentioned 23:29 is also talking, communicating, saying, 23:32 "Babe, I'm not sure if I'll be able 23:33 to have it today at this location, 23:36 but we can probably go somewhere else." 23:37 Right. 23:39 Keep that open communication, those are all tools 23:41 that help you to be able to be successful in your marriage. 23:43 Yeah. 23:45 And I think another important thing 23:46 is my husband and I we do devotion. 23:48 And during our devotions 23:50 we hear different words of wisdom and ideas, 23:53 and one thing that this couple said 23:56 and it was so amazing to me was, 24:00 "Pray for yourself to change." 24:04 Yes, your husband, your spouse is frustrating you, 24:08 you're getting upset. 24:09 You told them to put the toilet seat down, 24:12 you keep on keeping it up, instead of praying for them 24:17 to change or saying, 24:18 "God, why did you give me this husband or this spouse." 24:22 Pray for yourself to be what they need to be for God. 24:29 Not for what you think they should be 24:31 but for God and their purpose and their life. 24:35 What do you guys think about that part? 24:38 I think you're right. 24:41 I think you're right, I think as you are trying to, 24:45 you are maintaining not just maintaining but, 24:48 you know, as you are maintaining 24:49 your relationship and making sure 24:51 that there's still value in the relationship 24:54 over a long period of time, you do, 24:57 it doesn't even take a long period of time 24:58 but you start to see things that are frustrating. 25:01 And you know when you pray to God, 25:03 it's for that person to change, that's, most of the time 25:06 where we go unless it is corrected. 25:08 It is very rare in my opinion 25:10 that a person starts off praying Lord, 25:12 help me to love this person just as they are. 25:17 Most of the time it's this thing 25:18 gets on my nerves, 25:20 Lord, please communicate it to them, 25:22 so that they can get it together, 25:23 Lord, give them the strength to do what I need them to do. 25:26 Yeah. 25:27 Most of the time 25:29 those are our prayers for our spouses 25:31 but what you just said is definitely, 25:35 it's sacrificial. 25:38 It's acknowledging that I too implode, Lord, 25:42 that in this relationship that I am a part of it. 25:48 I'm sure there are things 25:49 that it gets on my spouse's nerve about me. 25:53 And in order for this thing to work, 25:55 we have to come together. 25:57 So I agree with that. Yeah. 25:59 Friend of mine says something and I stole it from him, 26:03 I told him I'm using it everywhere I go. 26:05 He said marriage 26:07 is the ultimate battle of humility. 26:11 He said every single day we're seeing 26:13 who can bow the lowest. 26:16 And I'm not bowing because I want for you 26:19 to praise me for bowing lower than you. 26:22 I'm bowing because I love you, right? 26:25 And it's a process of just me expressing my love for you 26:29 and so that takes sometimes me biting my tongue. 26:32 And my wife will tell you, I get in trouble a lot. 26:34 I'm one of the kids sometimes. Yeah. 26:37 So it's important to know that just as much as you want God 26:42 to work on your spouse, there's things 26:43 that I'm sure each and every one of us has 26:47 that irks our spouse, right? 26:48 And so we're saying, 26:49 "God, help us be in a better place 26:52 so this thing can be better." 26:54 And if we both pray that prayer, 26:56 if we're both humble and say, we both have things 26:58 that need to be fixed, then, 26:59 you know, it would be a great marriage. 27:01 I believe so. 27:03 And just the last thing I would probably add 27:04 is we have to handle the conflicts 27:07 in our relationship versus 27:09 having the conflicts handle take over us. 27:12 Yes. Yes. 27:13 We have to go to God because the relationship 27:16 will not be successful without Him. 27:19 You have to pray with Him for yourself to change 27:22 'cause being in a relationship with Him 27:25 is how we bring about that change. 27:27 As we are about to close, we want you to keep on 27:30 having the discussion. 27:32 How is your marriage spontaneous? 27:34 How is it maintaining routines? 27:36 What can you do to switch things up a bit 27:40 or try to maintain stability so that your spouse know 27:43 that they can depend and rely on you. 27:46 The Bible says in Colossians 4:6, 27:49 "Let your conversation be always full of grace, 27:52 seasoned with salt, so that you may know 27:54 how to answer every one." 27:56 Remember to make pure choices. |
Revised 2017-08-14