Pure Choices

Nurturing Love

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Brittany Hill-Morales (Host), Dajanae Anderson, Keith Hackle Jr


Series Code: PC

Program Code: PC000129A

00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned that some material
00:05 may be too candid for younger children.
00:40 Hello, welcome to Pure Choices.
00:42 My name is Brittany Hill-Morales,
00:44 and I'll be today's host.
00:45 Before we get into this very important discussion
00:48 which is about nurturing relationships,
00:50 we're going to pray.
00:52 Dear most heavenly Father,
00:54 dear Lord, I pray that You'll be with us right now
00:55 in this moment that You will be with the viewers
00:58 at home as well.
00:59 We love You and we praise Your name,
01:01 in Jesus' name, amen.
01:03 Amen.
01:04 So over here on the couch we have two wonderful guests.
01:07 We have Mrs. Dajanae Anderson from Texas
01:09 and we also have Pastor Keith Hackle from Iowa.
01:14 So our topic for today, you're ready for it?
01:18 Nurturing relationships.
01:20 This is focusing on the pre-engaged period.
01:24 After you probably dated for a little bit
01:26 and you've solidified and said, "You know what?
01:28 Let's start this relationship."
01:30 Some people say it's called,
01:32 "We're boyfriend and girlfriend now."
01:34 And it goes with different lengths of period of time.
01:37 It can be maybe a few months
01:39 before they're officially engaged.
01:40 It could be a few years.
01:42 But despite the time frame,
01:44 how do you nurture that relationship?
01:48 All of us are married here
01:49 so I know we went through that process.
01:51 Right.
01:52 For me it was a few months
01:53 before we officially were engaged.
01:55 And I guess...
01:56 What about you guys,
01:58 how long was it before you guys were officially engaged?
01:59 Dajanae, to you from?
02:00 How long was it?
02:03 Two years, a year between being boyfriend and girlfriend
02:09 to being engaged, it was about two years.
02:14 Two years? Yes.
02:16 In our situation it was probably
02:18 more like five or six years,
02:20 just because me and my wife met in high school.
02:23 So there was that moment that I saw her
02:26 and I said, "This is the one, this is the one."
02:30 But then we went separate ways
02:32 and we came back together and probably after dating
02:35 officially maybe another two or three years
02:39 before engagement period.
02:42 Yeah. That's true.
02:43 And that is a reality for most people.
02:46 Some of them start dating in high school
02:49 and they meet that connection
02:50 and it kind of becomes a prolonged period
02:53 because people are waiting longer to get married.
02:56 Maybe their mid 20s
02:57 and based on what your career path might be,
03:00 it might be closer to 30
03:02 and it might even go a little bit further.
03:04 So you're dating for this long period of time
03:07 and hopefully not engaging in sexual intercourse,
03:10 not doing anything that's actually impure,
03:12 but still how do you build a relationship
03:16 during that period whether it's far as a few months
03:18 or you know, five, six, ten years?
03:23 So what was your experience, Keith, with that?
03:24 Well, for us it was talking on the phone.
03:28 Having times where we would be in each other's space
03:30 for prolong period of time.
03:32 Like I said we were in high school,
03:33 so we saw each other as classes were passing
03:36 and things like that,
03:38 but even post high school it took some time
03:41 of just like I said being in each other's space,
03:43 getting to know each other for, if there's a football game
03:46 or something like that going on,
03:47 we may be in the same area
03:50 but we're not necessarily alone,
03:52 but it allows us to interact with each other.
03:54 We were able to see each other's friends.
03:57 There were times when holidays would come up
03:59 and I would get an invitation to come to her family's house
04:02 or vice versa so now we're around the family.
04:04 And so we're building that relationship to be able to say,
04:08 "Hey, could this go further?"
04:10 And those things are important
04:12 because you don't want those surprises on the backend
04:15 after you've already said, "I do,"
04:16 after you've already got invested.
04:18 Then you found out,
04:20 "Oh, that's going to be difficult being around family,"
04:22 because then that makes the relationship difficult
04:24 as well.
04:26 I don't have a whole lot to add to that to what he said
04:30 because with my husband and I,
04:33 that's what our relationship looked like as well.
04:36 So we met at Oakwood and we were friends
04:40 and but when we begin the,
04:43 "Okay, we're officially in a relationship,"
04:46 some of that was at Oakwood
04:48 but then he left to go to Andrews
04:50 and I was still in, at Oakwood,
04:53 saw a lot of the nurturing of relationship took place
04:57 over the phone.
04:58 Or I would drive to Andrews
05:01 or he would drive down to Oakwood for holidays.
05:06 I think he came down for my birthday,
05:08 I went out for his birthday, you know, things like that.
05:11 But or just, just because
05:13 so in terms of maintaining the relationship builder
05:17 or some things that we did
05:18 which are similar to hanging out in groups.
05:22 When we go, we go over there, he has a roommate,
05:25 I had roommates, we're all hanging out
05:27 in the front room talking,
05:28 or we're leaving to go out to eat,
05:31 or go to the beach or whatever it is.
05:34 So that's similar, very similar to Keith's experience.
05:38 Yeah, I'm hearing you maintaining boundaries...
05:40 Yes.
05:41 During that period, trying to make sure
05:43 you have a certain timeframe.
05:45 I know for us it had to be after a certain hour,
05:48 you can't be at my home anymore, right?
05:50 Yes, yes, yes. Right. Right.
05:51 Certain times, like you need to call before you come over,
05:55 or different things.
05:57 We can't hug for too long, we can't be cuddling,
05:59 kind of have to sit on that side of the couch,
06:01 I sit on this side of the couch if you're going to be here
06:03 just so we could focus on truly knowing each other
06:08 during that period of time.
06:10 And I think that's a...
06:11 I think that's very, very, very important.
06:14 And being completely honest and raw and open, there is a...
06:19 It takes both people to set those boundaries
06:24 because there may be times and there was,
06:26 there were times when I would be at his apartment,
06:29 he has a roommate and we're out on the couch
06:31 and I'm like, "Oh, I'm just going to go to sleep
06:32 on the couch and then, you know,
06:34 you can go to sleep in your room
06:36 and you can take me back in the morning."
06:37 And he firmly like, "No, I'm taking you home.
06:41 I'm taking you home.
06:44 Daj, we're not doing that."
06:45 I'm like, "What, you're going to be in your own
06:47 and I'm going to be on the couch..."
06:48 He's like, "No, no, no.
06:49 I'm taking you home," and you know, vice versa.
06:52 So there's times when you have to look
06:56 at the big picture of your relationship and your...
07:00 You want to be in the relationship long term,
07:02 you wanted to be something
07:04 that's acceptable in the sight of the Lord.
07:06 And so you say, "In the grand scheme of things,
07:09 I'm going to put aside how I feel,
07:12 what my emotions are, not that they're unimportant
07:15 but they're not going to drive me to make a big mistake
07:19 that then makes
07:20 the relationship something toxic."
07:22 So definitely it's taken, it takes two though
07:26 because sometimes one person may be weak
07:28 and the other person has to be strong
07:30 and then in another situation,
07:31 you know, the roles may reverse, so definitely.
07:36 And you begin to see the...
07:37 If there's an individual
07:39 and Paul talks about this war in the flesh
07:42 that we have from time to time, and if there's an individual
07:45 who is stronger when another person is weak,
07:47 that's important, right?
07:49 And so you see like this person really cares about me,
07:51 they could have taken advantage of me
07:53 when I was at my weakest point,
07:54 but they were willing to be a stand up person and say,
07:57 "Listen, we're going to stand on principle,
07:58 we're going to stand on what God expects for us."
08:00 And then you're able to see, "You know what?
08:02 This maybe someone
08:04 that I can spend the rest of my life with
08:06 because if they have that type of care for me now..."
08:08 Right. Right?
08:09 "When we're just boyfriend and girlfriend,
08:11 then I know when we take it to the next level
08:14 that they're also going to show this type of care."
08:17 It was, my wife and I,
08:19 one thing that we always talk about
08:20 that we remember early on we would just...
08:22 I would pull up to her house and we would sit out in the car
08:25 and we would just talk for hours, just talk for hours
08:28 and she talked about how that meant a lot
08:30 because I'm saying, "Hey, we're just going to talk in the car,
08:33 just spend time, listen to the radio,"
08:37 song might come on that we both like and we just hear,
08:39 we're just talking and that's important,
08:41 the talking component is important.
08:43 So I would tell individuals not to shy away
08:46 from those long conversations on the phone.
08:48 One thing I remember is those times
08:49 when we've been on the phone
08:51 till 2, 3 o'clock in the morning
08:52 and I'm saying, "You hang up,"
08:54 and she's like, "No, you hang up."
08:55 That's cute.
08:56 I know that she's falling asleep
08:58 and I'm like, "Are you sleeping?"
08:59 She wakes, "No, I'm not sleeping."
09:00 She would ask me the same.
09:02 But those things are important
09:03 because now we're vision casting,
09:05 we're imagining what things are going to be like
09:06 and we're really getting to know each other.
09:07 If you have a person who can never take your phone call,
09:09 can never talk to you for more than ten minutes
09:11 because their life is so busy,
09:13 then when you take it to the next level
09:16 life is going to still be too busy...
09:18 Right. And it's not going to work out.
09:20 So it's important. Right, right.
09:21 So you want someone
09:23 who makes your relationship a priority...
09:24 Yes.
09:25 Because if it's not a priority now...
09:27 Yes.
09:28 How will it be a priority when there's kids on the table.
09:29 Yes. Right.
09:31 There is work schedules,
09:32 there's all this different stuff.
09:33 And what I'm also hearing is we all met our spouses
09:36 at different parts of our lives.
09:38 For Keith, it was during high school, Dajanae,
09:40 that was during your undergrad,
09:42 for me I met my husband in graduate school.
09:44 Yeah.
09:45 And no matter the level,
09:47 you have had a little bit more freedom
09:49 but you have that...
09:50 With the freedom is a high level of responsibility.
09:52 Yes. And trying to maintain boundaries.
09:56 Another element is meeting the family,
09:58 that's another thing
09:59 that happens during the pre-engagement process.
10:03 Yes, yes, yes, definitely.
10:05 That is very, very important.
10:08 Because the reality, when we went through our pre...
10:12 We went through pre-engagement counseling with the Frasers
10:17 at Oakwood in Alabama A&M and they...
10:23 Meeting the family, there was...
10:24 There's an understanding that when you marry someone,
10:27 you're marrying the issues of their family as well.
10:31 Yes.
10:32 So even if I am distant from,
10:35 look by location I'm distant from my family
10:38 or even if I appose some things
10:42 that happen within my family,
10:44 I'm still going to bring those things
10:46 into my marriage relationship.
10:48 Some of those things may be positive family values,
10:51 things like honesty, things like order,
10:55 you know, there are positive things
10:57 as well as maybe some negative things.
10:59 And so one thing that we went over is the things
11:03 that we talk about, we say,
11:05 oh, my mom, or my dad, or my brother,
11:07 or my sister, or my grandparents
11:09 whatever may be aunt, uncle
11:11 and you're complaining about it,
11:13 don't think that you're...
11:15 The person that you're in a relationship with,
11:18 the person that you're thinking about getting engaged
11:21 to are not...
11:22 That they don't hold some of those things
11:24 that bother them about their family.
11:27 And so meeting the family
11:28 definitely gives you the picture
11:31 of who this person is holistically.
11:34 You start to, you start to see, oh, that's why I like,
11:37 my husband he's funny, he's funny,
11:41 he's a jokester especially
11:43 when we're around a lot of people, he's silly.
11:46 And when I met his mom, his mom is the exact same way,
11:50 his older brother is a clown like so silly.
11:54 And so when you take...
11:56 He makes so much more sense to me when I met his family.
12:00 So definitely I would agree with that.
12:03 And then you have to also consider holidays,
12:07 these are going to be people
12:08 I'm around for the holidays and...
12:10 Your favorite time of the year. Yes, I know.
12:12 And so imagine, you know, when Thanksgiving is coming,
12:15 you know, when these holidays are coming,
12:17 and so if you don't like being around the family,
12:19 you're dreading now.
12:21 This time that's supposed to be a joyous experience,
12:23 and I was talking to my son about this
12:25 as he's in a relationship
12:27 and he's trying to say my relationship,
12:30 friendship, friendship,
12:32 but as he's going through this process,
12:35 I'm like, "Listen, man, you want to make sure
12:37 there are certain things that we do in the family, right?
12:39 So we play games, we're big on game nights
12:41 and things like that.
12:43 And so, if you're in a relationship
12:45 or friendship with someone
12:46 that your sister doesn't like or this person doesn't like,
12:49 your mother or they don't like your dad,
12:50 then it makes it difficult for you to invite them
12:52 over to the house, right?
12:54 And so now you're deciding and this is friendship stage,
12:58 so imagine at marriage stage,
12:59 if you can't get along with these people,
13:02 it's going to be very difficult for you to want to be
13:05 around them later."
13:06 And so now we're having this conversation
13:08 when we're talking about marriage now.
13:10 We're having this conversation of well maybe for this holiday
13:13 I don't want to go to a family or you go and I'll stay
13:16 or I'll go see my...
13:17 And so now, you're seeing this division begin
13:20 to form over something
13:21 that could have been checked out even before.
13:24 You said I do and went to the next step.
13:26 Right.
13:27 And that is a question to ask for,
13:29 during this nurturing part of your relationship.
13:33 Who should be involved in helping you determine
13:36 that I should go further, that we should get engaged
13:39 that we should get married
13:41 because what if your family members
13:43 who are causing this tension are not healthy
13:47 and what they're trying to prevent
13:49 is actually something that's for the best.
13:52 So who should get involved in this whole planning process?
13:55 Who should I ask if I was not married?
13:58 Well, that's tough. Go ahead, you can go.
14:00 Yes, I think we were both about to say the same thing that is
14:04 that there's not a one size fits all.
14:06 I would say there's not a one size fits all
14:09 because there are some families
14:12 that know how to love their child or love their,
14:17 whatever it is, love you.
14:19 So my family knows how to love me
14:22 but may not know how to tell me that I'm wrong
14:27 or tell me that maybe my family is so attached to me
14:32 that they don't want me to get married
14:33 because they want me to stay in the family,
14:35 and getting married may mean going somewhere else.
14:38 Or maybe my family is more realistic
14:42 and able to process,
14:44 "Okay, this is a natural part
14:46 and so me looking at this person is to make sure
14:51 that they will take care of my loved one,"
14:55 i.e. me, i.e. you, i.e. Keith.
14:57 But though the reality is that we do not
15:00 or we don't have perfect families.
15:03 And so the...
15:04 There is...
15:05 That's a difficult question, I know for myself,
15:10 I was not sure
15:12 just because of how my family, my family is.
15:18 I was not sure how they will receive Ephraim
15:21 before we got engaged,
15:23 and so there I prepare him, like, This is what my family.
15:28 Okay, your family is like this,
15:29 well, my family is like this..."
15:31 Kind of thing, so definitely prepared him
15:35 before he met them.
15:36 And but for, you know, something better happened
15:42 than what it was that I expected.
15:44 And so I was definitely blessed by that reality.
15:49 My father did give his blessing for even to propose, my mother,
15:55 you know, was posting all on Facebook
15:58 about how great of a man Ephraim
16:00 was after meeting him, you know, only twice.
16:03 So I was really blessed by that because that was the first time
16:06 that my parents had ever accepted anybody
16:08 that I was interested in.
16:12 And so that was definitely a blessing,
16:14 but I was prepared for the opposite reality.
16:18 I was prepared for the possibility
16:21 that if Ephraim wouldn't be received
16:22 and it wouldn't have anything to do with him necessarily
16:26 but more so of just my family structure.
16:29 That's a good point and I...
16:33 For lack of a better phrase,
16:34 I will say consider all counsel,
16:37 but you don't necessarily have to take all counsel.
16:39 Yes, yes, yes.
16:40 So when I was dating my wife,
16:43 the life that I had didn't necessarily point to pastor
16:48 in the future, right?
16:49 So her mother was speaking to her of some concerns
16:52 that she had of some things that she had experienced.
16:56 And also there are ladies who come from households
17:00 where there's all single ladies, right?
17:02 So they've been burned, they've been broken,
17:05 they've gone through these experiences,
17:07 so some young ladies are raised in houses
17:10 from what I understand where every guy is a bad guy,
17:12 right?
17:13 I was raised in that household.
17:14 So that makes it difficult, right?
17:17 And so even for guys, some guys could be raised in households
17:22 where they're taught to only expect
17:25 certain things from women.
17:26 So you can look at your scope, consider the individuals
17:31 that you're receiving that counsel from
17:32 but also continue to build that relationship, right,
17:35 because everybody is not the same.
17:37 It's possible that this person may have these characteristics,
17:40 these traits and it's possible for God to work with them
17:44 to the point where now looking down the line,
17:48 early on my mother-in-law was,
17:50 she wasn't the biggest fan of mine
17:52 but now, I mean we love each other,
17:54 therefore we're very, very good friends
17:56 but that takes time and that takes a process
17:59 and that takes you saying, you know what?
18:00 I'm going to get to know this person,
18:03 but you have to be real with yourself too and say,
18:05 "You know what?
18:06 There may be some things about this individual
18:08 even though I like them
18:10 that they could be deal breakers," right?
18:13 And you have to be serious enough about this thing
18:17 to be able to say, "You know what?
18:18 Even though I like you,
18:19 even though we have fun together,
18:21 maybe it's best that we be friends
18:22 instead of going to the next step."
18:25 So just consider all counsel.
18:28 Individuals that have gone before us
18:29 have a certain experience and wisdom
18:31 that we should definitely consider,
18:34 but that doesn't mean that we have to implement everything
18:37 that everybody tells us.
18:38 Right.
18:39 And I wouldn't, I don't think any of us
18:42 are saying that you should be rebellious, right?
18:46 That's definitely not the point that we're making
18:49 because sometimes the people around us see things
18:52 that we can't see.
18:54 Because we're too much in love bite.
18:55 Because we're in love, we're infatuated...
18:58 It's perfect.
19:00 Yes, right or she's perfect and that's not necessarily,
19:03 you know, but that's not, it's not necessarily the case.
19:06 And so there's definitely wisdom
19:09 like what you're saying in counsel,
19:11 there is not always...
19:12 You don't always receive because there are situations,
19:15 and I think I'm just kind of defining
19:18 in my own way something that you had already said.
19:20 People are sometimes speaking from their own experience
19:25 and that can be a good thing and that can be a bad thing.
19:29 Many times if someone is speaking
19:31 from their experience without fully considering
19:33 who you are as a person
19:35 and who this other person is in relationship to you,
19:38 then it's very dangerous.
19:39 Very, very, very dangerous
19:41 because just because you were hurt
19:43 and you were broken does not mean that
19:45 that's going to happen between me and my husband
19:50 or you and your wife,
19:52 you know, for the man that is dealing,
19:54 that's not or you know,
19:56 the boyfriend or girlfriend or fiancé.
19:58 And sometimes people
20:00 are speaking out of their brokenness
20:01 and they have not yet healed,
20:03 and so any relationship possibility
20:05 that they see is red flag, red flag
20:08 because they still have wounds
20:09 that they haven't addressed properly.
20:11 And that goes into another question of I'm scared,
20:15 I don't want to progress into a relationship not knowing
20:19 if we are going to get engaged, if we are going to get married.
20:23 Maybe the person might say,
20:25 I've already dated once or twice
20:27 before we were going to deposit it
20:29 was two, three years to ask to do it again.
20:32 How do I know it's worth it
20:33 or hearing experience of others,
20:37 do I take the risk?
20:40 What do you say, do I take the risk?
20:41 Should I push forward and even attempt at this thing?
20:46 You're going to say something.
20:47 I will say yes, but just be careful in regards
20:51 to how far you allow things to go.
20:56 You'd never want to go into a new relationship
21:00 carrying old baggage with you, right?
21:02 So you have these expectations,
21:04 you have these previous experiences
21:06 and so the one moment that individual does something,
21:08 you go, "Here we go again," right?
21:11 But at the same time we must enter into these things
21:14 or individuals must enter into these relationships
21:17 cautiously understanding that, "Hey listen, this is my limit,
21:21 this is where I'm going with this thing."
21:24 But also be free to allow for...
21:26 To build relationship with individuals.
21:29 It's a really tough balance but I wouldn't say that
21:33 if you've had three bad relationships
21:36 then what God is saying is that
21:38 you should be single for the rest your life.
21:39 Right. That's not, that's not always the case.
21:41 Some people do have the gift of singleness
21:45 but not everybody has that gift.
21:46 Right.
21:48 So we just need to be cautious
21:50 and we need to start every relationship coming in
21:53 and have, so you learn from your previous relationships,
21:55 you learn how to have conversations,
21:58 how to have communication,
21:59 how to set boundaries and things like that.
22:00 But also allow room for that thing to grow
22:04 because if you don't, then you never go further
22:07 than the level of your previous relationship
22:10 and that makes it difficult.
22:11 Yeah, I like what you were saying,
22:13 you have to evaluate the fear.
22:16 If you're looking at this person
22:17 and you're automatically fearful
22:19 of being in relationship with them
22:21 determine what that source is.
22:22 Is it because this person is actually no good for you,
22:25 you probably like them for reasons that are not pure,
22:29 you know, don't go into that relationship.
22:31 But if the fear is you're hearing
22:33 maybe the mother's voice or you remember
22:35 what daddy did or stuff like that
22:37 and that's what fearful for you or what happened to your sister
22:40 or your brother,
22:41 then you need to probably seek some help for that...
22:43 Right.
22:45 Because you don't want to be hinder
22:46 and you also don't want to approach your relationship
22:49 where this person is giving their all
22:51 and you're just a huge wall
22:53 that they just cannot break through,
22:56 and then they're broken
22:58 because you didn't really give them
22:59 an opportunity or a chance...
23:01 Right.
23:02 And that's important for nurturing
23:04 that relationship, give them an opportunity,
23:06 give a person a chance to show you
23:08 what's in their heart.
23:11 But also we also want people to be like,
23:12 "Okay, I'm just going to jump from one issue to another..."
23:14 Right, right, right.
23:15 No, you need to sit down, you're like,
23:17 "Okay, who are you on a basic level?"
23:21 Right.
23:23 "What do you bring to the table?
23:24 Are you serious about this?" Right.
23:27 Because I don't want to infest,
23:28 meet your family all this different stuff,
23:30 getting engaged and then I find that
23:33 you're completely something else
23:34 and I'm trying to break off this engagement.
23:36 Right.
23:37 And in our culture it's a lot...
23:39 It's very hard after you've already put it, posted on...
23:41 It's Facebook official, Instagram official...
23:43 Yeah.
23:45 Twitter official...
23:46 Yeah, yeah.
23:48 Invitations are sent out,
23:49 you already bought a dress for a thousand dollars
23:50 to try to break off this engagement right now
23:54 even though I'm seeing this huge red flag
23:56 that I wish you showed me before.
23:58 That, that's definitely why I would advice
24:00 pre-engagement counseling, pre-engagement,
24:03 I know it's not as popular today,
24:07 you know, we have mostly...
24:08 What's most popular is marriage counseling,
24:12 not even premarital counseling is as prevalent
24:15 as marriage counseling
24:17 because people go through
24:19 even though they see the red flags,
24:21 we've gotten engaged now
24:23 we've invested all of this money,
24:24 all these resources,
24:26 our communities are invested
24:27 into are expecting this end result
24:30 that we, that we've said we want to go into
24:34 and now, and so now to break it off
24:38 is just not going to happen
24:40 even though we're gonna push through it.
24:42 And so now we're married.
24:45 And now, right, we say the Lord, will work it out,
24:48 but that doesn't necessarily mean the Lord
24:50 wants to work it out that may not...
24:53 That mean, that does not mean that
24:55 both individuals are willing and receptive enough
24:59 to allow the Lord to work it out.
25:02 So now we're married and we need premarital,
25:04 we need marriage counseling
25:06 because we're on the verge of divorce
25:09 where a lot of that could have been filtered
25:11 through in pre-engagement counseling.
25:15 Should we take this next step?
25:17 Let's analyze our histories.
25:19 Let's analyze who we are now.
25:22 Let's ask the question,
25:24 can I deal with these things that I see.
25:27 Can I love you past it?
25:28 Can I encourage you through it?
25:31 And can you be there?
25:32 And it's not can you be there for me necessarily only,
25:36 but each person is supposed to be caring for the other
25:39 and that and that's where growth can take place,
25:41 I don't know if, Keith, you want to.
25:42 That's true.
25:44 I'm...
25:45 Just want to touch on the idea of the culture
25:47 and the culture saying, "Listen, you got engaged,
25:49 you got to go through with this stage."
25:51 And the pastor and me,
25:55 the big brother as I talk to my sisters,
25:57 the father in me as I talk to my daughter,
26:00 I would rather...
26:01 Individuals say, "You know what?
26:03 This thing isn't working."
26:04 We put it on Facebook, right?
26:06 We got our pictures up on IG and all of these things.
26:10 We've communicated this to the world
26:12 but it is responsibility, right?
26:15 It takes responsible individuals to say,
26:17 "You know what?
26:18 We thought this thing was going this direction,
26:19 we thought that this was the...
26:21 What is the best interest for everybody involved
26:24 that we don't move this direction?"
26:25 I mean, the same way we post about,
26:27 I got a new job, right.
26:29 And if you get into that job and that job isn't working out,
26:31 then what you do?
26:32 You just turn in your resignation
26:34 or you get a pink slip from now
26:36 when I say, "Yes sir, these are no longer needed,"
26:39 but it's better to do it before to say you know what,
26:44 this thing isn't working
26:45 because there's a lot of individuals
26:47 and this is important for our young people to understand.
26:48 There's a lot of individuals who are in marriages right now,
26:52 right, and it's killing them because they've stepped up
26:56 to what the culture wanted them to do
26:58 and held on to something
26:59 that God did not necessarily want for them.
27:02 So it's important.
27:04 It's a very valid point,
27:05 and we hope you viewers out there
27:07 who are listening are really taking heed
27:09 to the importance of nurturing that love, focusing,
27:15 finding out should we even be pressing forward.
27:18 So keep on having the conversation.
27:20 Ask, do you believe that you're scared
27:22 or nervous to nurture a relationship?
27:25 Are you over zealous?
27:27 What can you do to help others in your community
27:30 to make the right decision
27:32 before they actually get engaged?
27:35 And what are other reasons that probably could be the case
27:38 for why a person is scared or nervous?
27:41 We talk about and it's Ephesians 4:2,
27:44 "Be completely humble and gentle,
27:48 be patient bearing one another in love."
27:52 Please remember out there to make pure choices.
27:56 Thank you, guys.
27:57 Thank you. Thank you.


Revised 2017-08-14