Participants:
Series Code: PME
Program Code: PME231021S
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00:14 [organ music playing] 00:16 ♪♪ 00:27 ♪ Angels on high now ♪ 00:29 ♪ praise the Creator ♪ 00:31 ♪ Heavenly hosts bring ♪ 00:33 ♪ praise to God ♪ 00:36 ♪ Radiant sunshine ♪ 00:38 ♪ beautiful starlight ♪ 00:40 ♪ All in the sky bring ♪ 00:42 ♪ praise to God ♪ 00:47 ♪ All in the heavens ♪ 00:49 ♪ all on the earth ♪ 00:51 ♪ all honor His name ♪ 00:56 ♪ All of creation ♪ 00:58 ♪ now and forever ♪ 01:00 ♪ honor His name ♪ 01:03 ♪ All praise His name ♪ 01:10 ♪♪ 01:15 ♪ Rivers and oceans ♪ 01:17 ♪ mountains and valleys ♪ 01:19 ♪ All on the earth bring ♪ 01:21 ♪ praise to God ♪ 01:25 ♪ Women and children ♪ 01:27 ♪ men of all nations ♪ 01:29 ♪ All He has made bring ♪ 01:30 ♪ praise to God ♪ 01:36 ♪ All in the heavens ♪ 01:38 ♪ all on the earth ♪ 01:39 ♪ all honor His name ♪ 01:45 ♪ All of creation ♪ 01:47 ♪ now and forever ♪ 01:49 ♪ honor His name ♪ 01:51 ♪ All praise His name ♪ 01:58 ♪♪ 02:05 ♪ Praise the Lord of all ♪ 02:12 ♪ Praise the Lord of all ♪ 02:17 ♪♪ 02:26 ♪ By His command ♪ 02:28 ♪ All things were created ♪ 02:30 ♪ Heaven and earth bring ♪ 02:32 ♪ praise to God ♪ 02:37 ♪ All in the heaven ♪ 02:39 ♪ bring praise ♪ 02:41 ♪ All in the earth ♪ 02:42 ♪ bring praise ♪ 02:45 ♪ All He has made bring praise ♪ 02:52 ♪ to God ♪ 02:57 ♪♪ 03:02 ♪ Praise to God ♪ 03:14 >> Our call to worship this 03:15 morning invites us to action, to 03:19 praise God. 03:20 Maybe sometimes we feel that our 03:22 circumstances don't lend 03:24 themselves to our praise, but 03:26 they do. 03:27 So I invite you this morning to 03:29 join me in a responsive reading 03:30 of the call to worship and I'm 03:32 inviting you to read with gusto 03:34 and energy as we... 04:12 I invite you to stand with me 04:14 for the invocation and remain 04:16 standing for the songs that 04:17 follow. 04:24 Let us pray. 04:28 Our awesome God, creator of 04:32 heaven and earth. 04:35 We worship You on this, Your 04:37 Holy Sabbath day. 04:40 We thank You that You have seen 04:42 it fit to spare our lives that 04:44 we should be here gathered 04:46 together in worship. 04:50 We thank You that You love us so 04:54 much, beyond our comprehension. 04:58 And today as we worship, we 05:01 invite You to take all of our 05:02 hearts, all of our minds, all of 05:06 our souls, all of our strength, 05:10 that You would help us to defy 05:12 all the distractions that seek 05:15 to destroy us and discourage us, 05:19 but that You will help us to be 05:21 defiant, to worship You in 05:24 spirit and in truth, whatever 05:27 the circumstances we face, we 05:30 praise You. 05:31 In Jesus' name, amen. 05:35 >> As you remain still standing, 05:37 I just want to remind us that 05:40 the concept of faith through 05:43 trials can be best understood 05:47 through the story of Job. 05:51 Even when he lost his wealth, 05:54 his health, and his family, Job 05:59 never lost his faith in God. 06:03 His story is a testament to the 06:06 power of maintaining trust in 06:09 God, despite the circumstances 06:13 you're going through. 06:15 So this morning, PMC, I'm 06:17 reminding you that sometimes the 06:19 loudest praises come from the 06:22 deepest valleys. 06:24 So let's continue to declare His 06:25 name this morning. 06:39 You know that song, 06:40 sing with me. 06:51 I raise... 07:13 I'm gonna sing... 08:12 Yes! 08:24 Sing with us! 10:57 PMC... 11:00 ...when words fail, 11:03 when your words fail... 11:06 ...fill the room with Jesus. 11:09 ♪♪ 13:40 [ABEL] Your name is power! 15:01 [ABEL] Your name is power! 15:14 Break every stronghold! 15:40 >> Welcome to part two of our 15:42 continuing series entitled How 15:45 To Stay Married Forever and 15:46 Like It. 15:48 Now, if you were here for part 15:49 one, you may recall that at the 15:51 beginning of that presentation, 15:53 I had wanted to show certain 15:55 pictures from my wedding day, 15:57 but because I recently moved and 15:58 everything is still lost in 15:59 boxes, I could not find what I 16:01 wanted. 16:01 What I did not think about is 16:04 that there were other people at 16:05 that wedding that might be 16:07 listening to that sermon. 16:09 And so my stepmother, very 16:10 faithful, she listened to that, 16:12 she said, "Aha, I have a 16:14 solution." 16:15 So here is a picture in which 16:17 not only is my wife smiling, but 16:19 so am I. 16:21 Right? 16:22 I didn't want you to think it 16:23 was just a great day for her. 16:24 Last week you couldn't see my 16:25 face, today you can. 16:27 It was a wonderful day. 16:28 Easily one of the best days of 16:30 our life. 16:32 So thank you very much to my 16:32 stepmother for providing that. 16:35 One of the reasons that it was 16:37 one of the happiest days of our 16:39 lives is because we followed 16:41 certain simple keys in finding 16:44 Mr. or Mrs. Right. 16:45 We went through four keys, 16:46 actually last week. 16:47 Let me just put them on the 16:48 screen here for you to 16:48 remind you. 16:49 Key number one, don't marry for 16:50 love, marry for life. 16:52 Take the long range view, look 16:54 carefully at basic day-to-day 16:56 compatibilities before you say 16:58 "I do." 16:59 Number two, take your time. 17:01 Take some time to see all the 17:02 good things and yes, to see the 17:04 flaws that the other person may 17:05 have. 17:06 Two-year rule, don't even 17:07 consider getting married until 17:08 you have dated for at least two 17:10 years. 17:11 Key number three, save physical 17:12 intimacy for marriage. 17:13 Don't live together. 17:14 Don't sleep together. 17:15 It will make it more difficult, 17:17 not better, for you to be able 17:19 to find a happy and forever 17:20 marriage. 17:21 And number four, the fourth key, 17:23 seek counsel from wise 17:24 God-following people. 17:26 It can be very helpful to get 17:28 the opinion of somebody who 17:29 knows God, knows His word and 17:31 has been around the track a few 17:32 more times than you have. 17:36 Now, with that in mind... 17:40 ...some of you came to me 17:42 after last week's presentation 17:44 and said, "Pastor, that was 17:45 great, I loved it. 17:46 Thank you so much for the 17:47 information." 17:48 Some of you came up to me last 17:50 week and said, "That was 17:51 depressing because we didn't do 17:52 any of those things and now what 17:53 do I do?" 17:54 Right? 17:56 And essentially what that second 17:58 group was saying is, "Next week 18:00 had better be good." 18:02 [laughter] 18:04 So I do indeed hope that today 18:07 is helpful. 18:08 So I hope that you track with me 18:10 the whole time here. 18:11 Before we jump into part two, 18:13 two things I'd like you to 18:14 remember. 18:15 Number one, what I'm going to 18:17 say today applies to nearly 18:20 every couple who will be or is 18:22 currently married, but it may 18:24 not apply to couples that are in 18:26 abusive situations. 18:28 If you're in a situation where 18:29 there's verbal abuse, physical 18:30 abuse, emotional, sexual abuse, 18:32 etc., by the time I get to the 18:34 end, those of you that have had 18:35 experience with these things, 18:36 you may be nodding your head 18:37 saying, "I'm not sure all of 18:38 those are applicable in an 18:40 abusive relationship." 18:41 If you are listening to me right 18:43 now and you are in that kind of 18:45 an abusive relationship, you 18:47 need to find a Christian 18:48 counselor right away. 18:49 You need an intervention. 18:50 You may even need to call law 18:51 enforcement depending upon the 18:53 severity of your particular 18:54 situation. 18:55 Do not necessarily take 18:57 everything I'm about to say and 18:58 seek to overlay it onto that 19:00 relationship. 19:01 Number two, if you did not 19:04 follow God's plan for choosing a 19:06 spouse, if you didn't follow 19:08 those four keys or whatever keys 19:09 there might be in God's Word, 19:11 all is not lost. 19:14 In fact, if you have a seed of 19:17 willingness, if you and your 19:18 spouse have a seed of 19:20 willingness to make an attempt 19:22 to right the ship. 19:23 You know, Jesus had this saying, 19:24 He said, "If you have the faith 19:26 the size of a mustard seed, you 19:28 can move..." what? 19:30 "Mountains." 19:31 Well, some of you may feel like 19:32 there is a mountain of 19:33 difficulty in your marriage 19:35 relationship and you're like, "I 19:36 don't know how we can fix this, 19:38 I don't know how we can 19:38 unpack it." 19:39 There is hope. 19:41 There is good news. 19:42 In fact, I would say this, if 19:44 the two of you sincerely put 19:46 into practice the Bible 19:47 guidelines that we're gonna look 19:49 at today and next week, your 19:51 marriage cannot only pull out of 19:53 the dive it might be in now, but 19:55 it can even become downright 19:57 enjoyable. 19:59 Now, what if not both of you are 20:00 willing? 20:01 Come back next week. 20:03 We'll talk a little bit more 20:03 about that. 20:05 But if both of you are, the 20:07 possibility of being married 20:09 happily and forever, regardless 20:11 of your circumstances right now, 20:13 is not necessarily out of your 20:14 reach. 20:15 God specializes in U-turns. 20:18 So let's see what He can do. 20:22 What are the keys then, for 20:24 after you say "I do?" 20:26 How can you have a marriage that 20:28 lasts happily and forever after 20:29 you say "I do," even if there 20:31 have been some hiccups along 20:32 the way. 20:32 Last week we looked at four 20:33 keys, this week we're going to 20:35 look at three. 20:37 If you have a Bible, take a 20:38 look, please. 20:39 Deuteronomy chapter 24, verse 5. 20:42 Key number one, Deuteronomy 20:44 chapter 24, verse 5. 20:45 It's on page 139 in the pew 20:47 Bible. 20:48 It should be somewhere there 20:49 nearby, maybe right in front of 20:50 you or so. 20:51 Most of them are red. 20:52 Page 139, Deuteronomy chapter 20:54 24, verse 5. 20:58 Most people, when they are 20:59 looking for marriage advice in 21:01 the Bible don't go to the book 21:03 of Deuteronomy. 21:05 There are other places that they 21:05 will go, but as it turns out, 21:08 there are some golden pieces of 21:11 advice in Deuteronomy here. 21:13 Turns out God has been in the 21:15 good marriage business for a 21:16 very long time. 21:17 Deuteronomy chapter 24, just 21:19 verse 5, it says, "If a man has 21:21 recently married, he must not be 21:24 sent to war or have any other 21:27 duty laid on him. 21:29 For one year, he is to be free 21:31 to stay at home and bring 21:34 happiness to the wife he has 21:36 married." 21:38 Wow, let me read that last 21:39 sentence again. 21:40 "For one year he is to be free 21:41 to stay at home and bring 21:43 happiness to the wife that he 21:46 has married." 21:50 Key number one for after you say 21:52 "I do," to get on path-- track 21:54 here, to have a marriage that 21:55 lasts happily and forever is to 21:57 spend quality time together. 22:01 Spend quality time together. 22:05 Now, in the context of 22:06 Deuteronomy, chapter 24, verse 22:07 5, I'm not sure that all of you 22:09 grasp how revolutionary this 22:10 particular text is. 22:12 You know, today we, in the 22:13 United States, we don't have 22:14 compulsory military service. 22:16 Some countries do, we do not. 22:17 In fact, if there were to be a 22:19 change and there was, you know, 22:20 compulsory military service, you 22:21 would see it coming a long way 22:23 off, etc. 22:24 Not so in those days. 22:26 No email, no cell phones. 22:28 How did they live? 22:29 There was no politicians out 22:31 there being able to give 22:32 advanced warning. 22:33 A nation could show up on a 22:35 moment's notice and your nation 22:37 could be threatened with mortal 22:39 danger. 22:40 And so at those times, the call 22:41 would go out. 22:42 Every able bodied man was called 22:44 to arms. 22:47 Unless you just said, "I do." 22:50 And then you're off the hook. 22:51 You can stay home. 22:52 Everybody goes out and fights 22:53 and whatnot and you get to stay 22:54 home and for this year you get 22:56 to bring happiness to the wife 22:59 that you have married. 23:01 I mean, the point is clear, 23:02 spend quality time together. 23:04 Now, if you have just recently 23:06 been married, I know what you're 23:07 thinking. 23:08 You're thinking... 23:11 "Well, duh! 23:13 I mean, of course this is what 23:14 we're doing. 23:15 We love to spend time together. 23:16 When we were-- all of our 23:17 dating, we could hardly stand to 23:18 say goodbye in the evening, it 23:19 was joyous when we saw each 23:21 other in the morning, the sun 23:22 rose and set on each other's 23:23 company, how could you even 23:25 bother to bring this out 23:26 as a key?" 23:30 So here's the thing... 23:32 ...sometimes it is very true, we 23:35 hope it's true, that when you 23:37 get married and the flush of the 23:39 excitement of it all, I mean, if 23:41 we're spending time together, 23:42 you don't even have to think 23:42 about it, it just comes, it's 23:44 just part of it. 23:45 But sometimes it also happens 23:47 that as that initial excitement 23:49 fades away and year begins to 23:50 build upon year, that sometimes 23:52 this time together doesn't 23:55 happen like it's supposed to. 23:58 In fact, sometimes, shall we 24:02 say, the caveman mentality comes 24:04 in, okay? 24:06 I'm just gonna speak for myself 24:07 because this was certainly me. 24:08 When I was seriously dating my 24:10 not-yet wife, Darlene, this was 24:13 kind of my story. 24:14 I had this caveman philosophy. 24:17 "Me want wife. 24:19 Me find wife. 24:22 Ahh, she hot. 24:23 Me go after wife. 24:25 Yes. 24:26 She like me. 24:27 We date. 24:28 Two-year rule, we follow. 24:29 Yes. 24:30 We say 'I do.' 24:32 Me got wife! 24:34 Me now go play golf." 24:36 [laughter] 24:38 Okay? 24:40 And that caveman mentality can 24:43 have some sway. 24:44 I mean, it happens. 24:45 And it happens perhaps more 24:48 often than we would like 24:50 to think. 24:51 But the Bible is clear here. 24:53 God's wisdom is clear. 24:54 That's not how it's supposed 24:56 to be. 24:56 God calls us to spend quality 24:58 time with our spouses, and I 25:01 hope the principle is clear, not 25:03 just for 365 days. 25:06 God is trying to drive home a 25:07 point here. 25:07 Now, again, when I was seriously 25:09 dating Darlene, this idea and 25:11 practice of quality time, for 25:13 her, natural. 25:14 I mean just, this was, she was 25:15 right there with it, no problem 25:16 for her. 25:17 For me, I needed help. 25:20 I had little to no idea what God 25:21 meant when He asks us to spend 25:23 quality time with one's spouse. 25:25 For instance, one of the ways 25:27 that a married couple should 25:28 spend time together is by 25:30 talking with each other 25:31 regularly. 25:33 I remember, now this is before 25:35 we got married, not too long 25:36 before we got married, you know, 25:37 I was serious about trying to 25:38 get myself ready for this 25:40 relationship. 25:41 We had decided that we were 25:42 gonna read some books on 25:43 marriage. 25:43 One of the ones I read was 25:45 called His Needs, Her Needs by 25:47 Willard F. Harley. 25:48 And this is back in the 1990s so 25:50 the research may have changed 25:52 since then, I don't know. 25:54 But at that time, Harley, the 25:55 author of the book, had done 25:56 research on the number of words 26:00 that the average male and the 26:01 average female speak in a day. 26:05 So you gotta picture this, I'm 26:06 at my apartment complex there, I 26:08 had this little tiny apartment 26:09 and I'm at the laundromat. 26:11 I'm sitting on top of a dryer 26:13 reading this book, waiting for 26:15 my clothes to dry. 26:16 And I get to this section, talks 26:17 about spending quality time 26:18 together, okay, yeah, let's 26:19 learn about that. 26:21 And then he talks about talking 26:22 with your spouse, okay, what's-- 26:24 what do I do for that? 26:26 And he comes to this research 26:27 section. 26:27 "The average man," he says, 26:29 "speaks..." 26:30 Any guesses? 26:31 How many words in a day? 26:33 Who said two? 26:34 [audience laughter] 26:37 That was awful. 26:37 See me-- go to your room. 26:38 This is, yeah. 26:40 It's actually more than two. 26:41 Any guesses? 26:45 Three hundred? Oh my. 26:48 It's actually, I was a little 26:49 surprised, too, actually, I 26:50 don't fault any of these answers 26:51 here, 12,000 words. 26:54 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 26:55 Surprising, isn't it? 26:56 Twelve thousand words, okay? 26:58 And then Harley, the author 26:59 says, "Now the average woman 27:01 speaks..." 27:06 Oh, you skeptic's. 27:10 Twenty-five thousand words 27:11 a day. 27:14 Now, maybe that's all changed by 27:15 now in modern times, but in 27:17 those days, those were the fresh 27:18 stats. 27:19 And I remember very clearly, 27:20 this was my response, I'd be 27:21 reading, "The average man speaks 27:23 12,000, the average woman speaks 27:24 25,000?!" 27:27 You know, I said something out 27:28 loud, about fell off of the 27:29 laundry because I thought, how 27:30 am I gonna keep-- 27:31 You see, what I was picturing in 27:32 my mind is this, I'm gonna come 27:34 home after a long day from work 27:35 and my wife will only be halfway 27:37 done. 27:38 [laughter] 27:39 She's gonna wanna talk the 27:41 entire evening. 27:41 I thought, "Oh, what am I gonna 27:42 do, what am I gonna do?" 27:46 But I was serious about wanting 27:47 to have a good marriage, right? 27:48 I'd seen enough of things that 27:49 didn't work and I wanted my 27:50 marriage to work so we... 27:54 ...tried to work something out. 27:55 We actually had a-- we had some 27:56 practice sessions, right? 27:59 And I faced this with 28:00 trepidation and some of you 28:01 husbands may know what I mean. 28:02 I mean, if your wife says to 28:04 you, "Honey, let's talk." 28:06 What do you say? 28:08 "Why? What's wrong?" 28:11 Yeah, exactly. Okay? 28:13 And this was my thoughts. 28:14 Okay, so we made, you know, this 28:17 practice time here, okay? 28:19 And I remember it very clearly, 28:21 we-- it was at the end of the 28:22 day and I was sitting on the 28:24 sofa on this end, and she was 28:25 sitting on the sofa on this end 28:27 like this. 28:28 And so, okay, we're here, you 28:28 know, it's the time we're gonna 28:30 practice this now. 28:30 So I said, "You start." 28:34 And she says, "Okay. 28:36 How was your day?" 28:40 What do you think I said? 28:42 "Fine." 28:43 Yes. 28:44 She said, "No, you have to do 28:45 better than that." 28:45 I said, "Well, like, what? 28:46 What do you wanna know?" 28:47 She said, "Well, who did you 28:48 see?" 28:50 I said, "Well, the church 28:51 secretary was there and the 28:53 custodian was there and I had a 28:55 few people that I met with." 28:57 She said, "What were they 28:58 wearing?" 28:59 [laughter] 29:01 "Wearing? 29:02 I mean, I don't know. 29:03 I mean, clothes. 29:04 I have no idea what they were 29:05 wearing," right? 29:06 She said, "Well, what did you 29:07 talk about?" right? 29:08 So this was genuinely painful. 29:10 I mean, it was wooden, right? 29:11 It just-- but I really wanted to 29:13 have a good marriage. 29:15 I wanted to do things, I wanted 29:16 to pick up these skills that 29:17 obviously I did not have. 29:18 So we worked at it and as wooden 29:20 as it was, over time it became 29:23 almost natural. 29:26 You see, God is trying to send a 29:29 message here in Deuteronomy. 29:31 He's trying to say God kept 29:33 those warriors home for a year 29:35 to teach them that spending 29:37 quality time with their spouse 29:39 was essential to a happy forever 29:42 marriage. 29:43 And practically speaking, one of 29:44 those things that it means is 29:46 just talking together, talking 29:48 about life, making time 29:50 each day. 29:50 This would be my counsel to you, 29:52 whether your marriage is soaring 29:53 on the wings of eagles or if 29:55 you're down in the pits of 29:56 despair, make a decision that 29:58 there will be time each day that 30:00 you will sit down and that you 30:01 will talk. 30:02 Now, if you're not in the habit 30:03 of doing this, you say, "What do 30:04 we talk about?" 30:05 Well, talk about the basic 30:06 things of life. 30:07 Talk about where you went, who 30:08 you saw, what they talked about. 30:10 Gentlemen, if you can remember 30:11 what they were wearing, share 30:12 that information. 30:13 My wife's face lights up when I 30:14 remember those things, you know, 30:16 these mundane things. 30:17 Here's the secret about this 30:19 type of conversation, when you 30:22 have this type of regular basic 30:25 day-to-day conversation with 30:27 your spouse, you not only get to 30:30 know them, you get to trust 30:33 them. 30:37 You say, "Well, wait a second. 30:38 We got married, we said "I do," 30:39 I mean, don't we don't we trust 30:40 each other? 30:44 Nature abhors a vacuum. 30:46 If your spouse doesn't know what 30:47 you do each day, how can you 30:50 really say that they know you? 30:54 And so now when my wife asks me, 30:55 "How was your day?" 30:57 I know how to answer. 30:59 I know how to go through those 31:00 things. 31:01 And there is a genuine part of 31:02 me that enjoys doing those types 31:04 of things. 31:05 Husbands, wives, if you don't 31:07 yet have a time like this, make 31:08 it, make a schedule. 31:09 Just go ahead and be wooden and 31:10 say, "Well, Pastor Shane can 31:11 muddle through that, so can I," 31:12 okay? 31:13 Make that time and talk to each 31:14 other. 31:15 Another way to spend quality 31:16 time together, consider making a 31:17 date night. 31:18 You can do this once a month, I 31:20 would encourage you, if you can, 31:21 to do it once a week. 31:22 It's a time when just you and 31:23 your spouse can get away. 31:24 It doesn't have to be fancy, you 31:25 don't even have to spend any 31:26 money. 31:27 You can go for a walk together, 31:28 you can spend time walking 31:31 through-- 31:31 My wife and I, we used to go to 31:32 Home Depot and we would just 31:35 window shop, right? 31:37 "Well, what do you think about 31:38 that light over there?" 31:39 "Oh, that's pretty cool." 31:40 You know, "How about this shower 31:42 over here," you know. 31:43 Things-- we didn't have any 31:44 money, we couldn't have bought 31:45 these things, but it was just 31:46 window shopping, and it helped 31:47 to lead to day-to-day 31:48 conversations that were 31:49 excellent. 31:49 If you have children, find a 31:51 good babysitter. 31:52 They will be enriched in their 31:53 wallet and you will be enriched 31:55 in your souls. 31:56 Make that time and that way, 31:58 even if you don't get a 32:00 day-to-day time to talk about 32:02 this, you know, say it's a 32:03 really busy week, you know that 32:04 date night is coming. 32:06 It's a great backstop to keep 32:08 the lines of communication open. 32:10 Now, if you are serious about 32:12 this quality talking time, you 32:14 will quickly find that it is not 32:15 always easy to schedule. 32:17 Remember, we talked about the 32:18 world warring against your 32:18 marriage last week? 32:20 It is oh so true. 32:21 So I just wanna encourage you, 32:23 be brutal with your schedule, be 32:26 brutal with it. 32:27 Don't let anything stand in the 32:28 way from this type of 32:30 connection. 32:33 So I wanna give you a little 32:34 challenge 32:35 on this key. 32:37 Be brave, ask your wife, ask 32:40 your husband, "Do you think we 32:42 are spending enough quality time 32:43 together? 32:45 Do you think we are talking 32:46 enough with each other?" 32:48 In fact, maybe ask them to 32:49 assign a number between one and 32:51 five, okay, to rate the level of 32:53 your quality time together. 32:54 A five means you're doing great. 32:56 You're like two starlings 32:57 sitting regularly on a power 32:58 pole, chatting away to both of 32:59 your heart's content, okay? 33:01 A one means that you're like two 33:03 monks that have taken a vow of 33:04 silence and something is 33:05 probably gonna have to change, 33:07 right? 33:08 Be honest, listen to each 33:09 other's answers, and then ask 33:11 God for the strength to make any 33:13 necessary changes and make them. 33:15 And guess what, guess what? 33:18 If you regularly spend quality 33:20 time with your spouse, for most 33:23 couples, at least two things 33:25 will sooner or later become true 33:26 for you. 33:27 Number one, you will begin to 33:28 experience the deep abiding 33:30 companionship that comes from 33:31 such regular interaction. 33:33 It may take some time, keep at 33:34 it, regular practice of sharing 33:36 your lives and quality time 33:38 together can work wonders for a 33:40 previously distant couple. 33:43 And second, if you regularly 33:45 spend quality time together, 33:47 then when something truly nasty 33:48 comes down the pike, a problem 33:50 that threatens to rock your 33:51 whole marriage, well, by then, 33:53 your communication level with 33:55 each-- will be such with each 33:56 other that you are on or nearly 33:58 on the same page, you're on the 34:00 same wavelength, and potential 34:02 disasters, many of them can be 34:04 reduced to mere bumps in the 34:06 marriage road. 34:08 If you have walked with each 34:08 other when the seas of life are 34:10 calm, it makes it that much 34:13 easier to tackle life when 34:14 things get stormy. 34:19 We'll talk more about 34:19 communication problems and 34:21 conflict resolution in part 34:22 three. 34:23 But until then, I want to 34:24 encourage you strongly, please 34:26 start this practice today. 34:28 It is so important to spend 34:29 quality time with your spouse. 34:35 That's the first key. 34:37 There is a second key to finding 34:41 happiness forever after you say 34:43 "I do." 34:44 Take a look at Matthew chapter 34:46 19, verse 3. 34:48 So on page 663 in your pew 34:50 Bible, 663. 34:52 Matthew Chapter 19, 34:54 beginning with verse 3. 34:59 Matthew, chapter 19, we find 35:01 Jesus here in what sadly was 35:03 kind of a common situation for 35:04 Him during the later part of His 35:05 ministry. 35:06 Jesus had His 12 disciples, 35:08 they, of course, were on His 35:09 side, big supporters, but in 35:11 public, often Jesus was opposed 35:14 by those that did not appreciate 35:15 what He was doing, including 35:18 opposition from a group called 35:19 the Pharisees. 35:20 The Pharisees were religious 35:21 leaders, they were experts in 35:22 the law, and many of them did 35:23 not appreciate Jesus or His 35:25 ministry so they would try to 35:26 publicly embarrass Him with 35:29 difficult, sometimes supposedly 35:31 "trick" questions. 35:33 And that's what's about to 35:33 happen here. 35:34 Verse 3, "So some Pharisees came 35:36 to Him," that is to Jesus, "to 35:37 test Him. 35:38 They asked, 'Is it lawful for a 35:40 man to divorce his wife for any 35:43 and every reason?' 35:45 'Haven't you read?' Jesus 35:47 replied, 'that at the beginning 35:49 the Creator made them male and 35:51 female and said, "For this 35:52 reason a man will leave his 35:54 father and mother and be united 35:55 to his wife and the two will 35:57 become one flesh?'" 35:59 So they are no longer two 36:01 but one.' 36:02 Therefore, what God has joined 36:04 together, let no one separate.'" 36:09 Now pause for just a moment. 36:11 This is exactly what the 36:13 Pharisees had been hoping for, 36:15 because they have what they 36:16 think is a sure fire question to 36:19 come back at Him and get Him. 36:22 Verse 7, "'Why then,' they 36:24 asked, 'did Moses command that a 36:26 man give his wife a certificate 36:27 of divorce and send her away?'" 36:29 Now, let's notice carefully 36:30 here. 36:31 The Bible never commanded it. 36:32 It allowed it, but there's quite 36:33 a difference between an 36:35 allowance and a command, 36:36 is there not? 36:38 Jesus knows this, He replies, 36:39 verse 8, "Jesus replied, 'Moses 36:41 permitted you to divorce your 36:42 wives because your hearts were 36:44 hard, but it was not this way 36:47 from the beginning. 36:48 I tell you that anyone who 36:49 divorces his wife, except for 36:51 marital unfaithfulness and 36:52 marries another woman, commits 36:54 adultery.'" 36:56 And here comes the clincher, 36:57 verse 10. 36:58 "The disciples said to Him, 'If 37:01 this is the situation between a 37:02 husband and wife, it is better 37:04 not to marry.'" 37:07 I mean, Jesus, if I gotta stay 37:09 with the woman, forget it! 37:16 A second key to finding a 37:17 marriage that lasts happily and 37:19 forever is this: put the 37:22 scissors in your marriage. 37:27 Put the scissors in your 37:30 marriage. 37:31 You say, "What on earth does 37:32 that mean?" 37:34 So the disciples here cannot 37:36 believe, and actually, sadly, 37:38 the disciples were not alone, 37:39 they were all in disbelief at 37:40 what Jesus was saying here. 37:42 In those days, the value of 37:43 marriage had fallen way, way, 37:45 way low. 37:47 You see, it was heavily skewed 37:48 in favor of the husband. 37:50 The husband could indeed 37:51 divorce, according to local 37:52 tradition there that had been in 37:53 place for some time, actually, 37:55 they could divorce their wife 37:56 for any and every reason. 37:57 In fact, some collections of 37:59 these traditions actually name 38:00 "burning a meal." 38:02 So if the wife burnt food for 38:03 supper, the husband could 38:05 divorce her and she would be in 38:06 a terrible way because the law 38:08 did not allow any recourse 38:09 for her. 38:10 He could move on and do what he 38:11 wished to do. 38:13 Marriage was extremely 38:14 undervalued and the disciples 38:16 are just, they're, I mean, 38:16 they're a product of their 38:17 times in this regard. 38:18 Jesus, if you have to stay with 38:20 the same woman, forget it! 38:22 It's better not to get married! 38:26 And yet Jesus' command was 38:27 crystal clear. 38:28 "Jesus said, 'Therefore, what 38:29 God has joined together, let no 38:33 one separate.'" 38:37 In other words, again, put the 38:41 scissors in your marriage. 38:45 Now, as it just so happens I 38:46 have a pair of scissors here 38:47 with me. 38:49 And I also have a piece of paper 38:50 with me. 38:51 This is good planning on 38:52 someone's part, I assume. 38:53 Yes? 38:55 These scissors, I hope you never 38:56 look at a pair of scissors in 38:57 the same way again. 38:59 A pair of scissors is like a 39:02 husband and a wife. 39:05 And if the marriage is healthy, 39:08 the husband and the wife are 39:10 working together in tandem and 39:13 they are enabled to cut a strong 39:16 path through life. 39:19 And if troubles come their way, 39:21 if something attempts to come 39:23 between them, if they are 39:25 healthy and working together, 39:27 then they will cut right through 39:30 that problem or that obstacle 39:33 and that challenge. 39:35 That's what happens when in a 39:36 healthy where you put the 39:37 scissors in your marriage. 39:41 But when scissors aren't working 39:43 well, all manner of things can 39:46 go wrong. 39:47 Instead of the scissors being 39:49 able to cut through whatever the 39:50 obstacle is, they get stuck and 39:53 something comes between husband 39:55 and wife. 39:55 Sometimes it happens quickly. 39:57 Most of the time it happens 39:58 slowly. 40:00 An affair, for instance. 40:02 There's drifting apart. 40:04 Someone meets someone else. 40:06 There's secrecy. 40:08 Damage for generations is done. 40:11 Workaholism comes in. 40:13 Classic case, you know, a 40:14 husband, a wife dedicated to 40:16 their career more than they are 40:17 to their spouse and the scissors 40:18 aren't working like they're 40:20 supposed to. 40:22 Sometimes it's a hobby, 40:23 sometimes other distraction. 40:25 Whatever it might be, there are 40:26 times when the scissors are not 40:28 in place, that something comes 40:30 between husband and wife. 40:33 And, again, the damage can go on 40:35 for years to come. 40:39 Let it be crystal clear... 40:42 ...nothing but God takes 40:45 precedence over your marriage. 40:50 [AUDIENCE] Amen. 40:52 >> I thought maybe somebody had 40:53 turned off the sound and we'd 40:54 kind of magically 40:55 [unintelligible]. 40:56 Nothing but God takes precedence 40:58 over your marriage. 41:00 After God, everything else. 41:02 As important as it may truly be, 41:04 must fall into its proper line 41:06 after the well-being of your 41:08 marriage. 41:10 Just to be very specific, when 41:12 it comes to putting the scissors 41:13 in marriage to removing 41:14 obstacles that are there, this 41:16 can mean some very specific 41:17 things. 41:18 For instance, no porn. 41:21 No pornography. 41:23 You know, most people know that 41:24 intuitively. 41:25 If you're listening right now 41:26 and you're not sure that 41:27 pornography is a bad thing, let 41:28 me just assure you, history is 41:29 replete with a bazillion 41:31 examples that show that 41:32 pornography only destroys, it 41:33 does not help, and it has no 41:36 place, soft or hard porn, 41:39 in your marriage relationship. 41:41 If you are stuck in the mire of 41:43 pornography and you want to get 41:44 out, you know there are-- there, 41:46 statistically speaking, there 41:46 are some women that are involved 41:47 with it, overwhelmingly, 41:49 generally it's guys. 41:50 And if you are stuck in 41:52 pornography and you want to get 41:53 out, I wanna give you very 41:54 briefly some resources, 41:56 gatewaytowholeness.com, 41:59 gatewaytowholeness.com. 42:00 That's W-H-O-L-E-N-E-S-S, 42:03 gatewaytowholeness.com. 42:04 What address did I say? 42:06 [AUDIENCE] 42:07 Gatewaytowholeness.com. 42:09 That is a General Conference of 42:10 Seventh-day Adventist website 42:11 and I am very pleased to say it 42:13 is excellent. 42:14 Not only is Gateway to 42:15 Wholeness, it is a course, and 42:16 an anonymous one, you don't have 42:18 to turn in any identifying 42:19 information to get into it. 42:20 If you go to the resource tab on 42:22 that website, on 42:24 gatewaytowholeness.com, you will 42:25 find a slew of things that can 42:27 help you. 42:28 Books, other programs, support 42:30 groups, other ways for you to be 42:32 able to get into counseling if 42:33 that's what you need. 42:35 It is an immense resource, 42:36 Gateway to Wholeness. 42:37 I am very proud to have this. 42:38 And by the way, if you're not a 42:39 member of the Seventh-day 42:40 Adventist Church, don't worry 42:42 about it. 42:42 This is for anyone that is 42:44 struggling with pornography. 42:45 Just two other books that I want 42:46 to give you, the titles for. 42:47 False Intimacy: Understanding 42:49 the Struggle of Sexual 42:50 Addiction. 42:51 False Intimacy: Understanding 42:52 the Struggle of Sexual 42:53 Addiction, and the second one is 42:55 called The Porn Trap, The Porn 42:57 Trap: The Essential Guide to 42:59 Overcoming Problems Caused By 43:01 Pornography. 43:01 Both of those are readily 43:02 available on Amazon, you can 43:04 pick these things up. 43:05 Don't let pornography destroy 43:08 your marriage. 43:10 You don't have to be a slave any 43:11 longer. 43:13 Second thing, if the scissors 43:15 are working in your marriage, 43:17 then your spouse has no 43:19 exclusive opposite-sex friends, 43:21 period. 43:23 Your spouse has no exclusive 43:25 opposite-sex friends. 43:27 Now, just in case that's a 43:28 little fuzzy, that when Darlene 43:29 and I got married, we had to do 43:31 some reshuffling of our friends 43:33 because there were some of those 43:34 friends that were just our 43:35 friends. 43:36 And there was, you know, for 43:37 whatever reason there was-- 43:38 that was not gonna be also my 43:39 wife's friend or my friend. 43:41 Those friends went away. 43:45 Because if there are exclusive 43:46 friends that a husband has 43:48 that's female or wife has that's 43:49 male, the odds of their 43:51 developing an inappropriate 43:52 relationship can really go up 43:54 quite dramatically. 43:55 In fact, I would even add this 43:56 to this, don't even spend large 43:58 amounts of time with an opposite 44:00 sex acquaintance, even if 44:02 they're both of your friends. 44:04 You see, God wired us in a 44:05 certain way. 44:06 If we spend significant time 44:08 with someone of the opposite sex 44:10 and it's just the two of us and 44:11 it's important, whatever it is 44:12 that we're doing, the natural 44:14 response is for a relationship 44:16 to develop. 44:17 So let's just play this out. 44:18 Let's say that there's a guy who 44:19 has a job and there's a, you 44:21 know, there's a big project 44:22 that's come up and it requires 44:23 him to do some overtime. 44:24 So the boss says, "Well, I want 44:25 you and so-and-so," and she's 44:27 female, "to spend time after 44:29 work, you know, doing this type 44:30 of thing." 44:31 You know, on the face of it, 44:32 that's like, "Well, I mean, this 44:33 is professional world, 44:34 everything's gonna to go fine." 44:36 Be careful, be very careful and 44:40 do what you can to avoid those 44:41 situations. 44:43 You see, one of the surest ways 44:46 to end up in an affair is to 44:48 believe that you could never end 44:50 up in an affair. 44:53 Because then your guard is down 44:55 and you violate the rules. 44:57 Maybe you don't even-- maybe 44:58 you're not even aware that you 44:59 are violating them. 45:02 Moving on. 45:03 Some of you may also need to 45:04 adjust the way that your kids 45:05 are prioritized. 45:07 You know, a handful of marriages 45:08 over the years where I've seen 45:10 them put too much focus on their 45:12 marriage to the detriment of 45:13 their children. 45:14 Usually it's kind of the other 45:15 way around. 45:15 Now, part of that's unavoidable. 45:17 Those of you that have 45:18 youngsters that are toddlers 45:19 right now, they're moving 45:20 around. 45:20 Man, it is sometimes challenging 45:23 to keep your marriage 45:23 relationship healthy. 45:24 Do the best you can with what 45:25 the Lord sends your way, okay? 45:28 But if you begin to sense that 45:30 you are neglecting your marriage 45:31 over the long haul, that this is 45:33 really making a serious dent, I 45:34 would strongly encourage you to 45:36 stop and look at that. 45:38 Children need all that we can 45:39 give them, but they also need to 45:41 have a very healthy marriage 45:43 between mom and dad. 45:45 The stability that is there when 45:47 a strong marriage is present and 45:49 the instability when that 45:50 relationship is rocky. 45:53 Save yourself the pain. 45:55 Keep a tight understanding of 45:56 what's healthy in this balance 45:57 between children and your 45:59 marriage. 46:01 And of course, I couldn't leave 46:02 this idea of cutting things out 46:04 of your marriage that are 46:05 necessary to be cut out without 46:06 talking about hobbies and 46:08 pastimes. 46:10 You know, caveman golf. 46:11 I did a fair amount of that back 46:12 in the day. 46:13 I didn't have much money. 46:14 I was on denominational pay 46:15 scale, but I had friends that 46:16 smiled on me and so they would 46:18 take me out and we would go 46:18 golfing quite a bit. 46:20 And there were definitely times 46:21 when I had to scale back. 46:24 Because even a hobby, seemingly 46:26 harmless, can come between a 46:28 husband and a wife. 46:33 Again, I want to gently 46:34 challenge you, for those of you 46:36 that are married, ask each other 46:38 the questions, are the scissors 46:40 here in our relationship? 46:42 Are they sharp? 46:43 Is there anything or anyone 46:44 right now that has stopped the 46:46 blades from cutting like they're 46:47 supposed to? 46:48 Do it or they need to be cut? 46:51 And if the answer is yes, then 46:52 go to it. 46:53 Cut that thing away. 46:55 It may be painful for a moment 46:57 because, after all, sometimes 46:58 it's your ego or your 46:59 selfishness that gets chopped. 47:02 But there are few better ways to 47:03 show your spouse that you truly 47:05 care for them than by cutting 47:07 away the obstacles that threaten 47:09 your intimacy. 47:10 Put the scissors in your 47:12 marriage. 47:13 What God has joined together, 47:15 let no man, no woman, no thing 47:18 separate. 47:22 That's the second key to having 47:24 a marriage that lasts happily 47:25 and forever after you say 47:26 "I do." 47:28 There is a third. 47:30 Take a look at Philippians 47:31 chapter 4, please. 47:32 Philippians 4, beginning with 47:34 verse 10. 47:35 It's on page 792 in your pew 47:38 Bible, page 792. 47:40 Philippians chapter 4, beginning 47:43 with verse 10. 47:44 A guy by the name of Paul, 47:45 sometimes referred to as the 47:46 Apostle Paul, he is the writer 47:47 of this letter. 47:49 This is a new church in the city 47:51 of Philippi, thus the name 47:53 "Philippians," and it is a happy 47:54 book. 47:55 If you're feeling depressed, you 47:57 know, come January, February, 47:58 when the sun do not shine on 47:59 southwest Michigan, pull open 48:01 the book of Philippians and it 48:02 will put a smile on your face. 48:03 It's just a happy rejoicing 48:04 book. 48:05 What makes that all the more 48:07 incredible is that Paul himself 48:11 is under serious duress from the 48:14 Roman government. 48:15 The Romans did not appreciate 48:16 Paul's preaching of the gospel, 48:18 at least not always, and right 48:20 now, when this is being written, 48:21 he is experiencing pretty 48:22 significant hardship and this is 48:24 what he nonetheless says, verse 48:26 10 of chapter 4, "I rejoice 48:29 greatly in the Lord that at last 48:31 You have renewed Your concern 48:33 for me," speaking to the 48:33 Philippian Church. 48:35 "Indeed, You have been 48:36 concerned, but You had no 48:37 opportunity to show it. 48:38 I am not saying this because I 48:40 am in need." 48:41 Wow. 48:42 "For I have learned to be 48:44 content, whatever the 48:46 circumstances. 48:48 I know what it is to be in need 48:49 and I know what it is to have 48:51 plenty. 48:51 I have learned the secret of 48:54 being content in any and every 48:56 situation, whether well-fed or 48:58 hungry, whether living in plenty 49:00 or in..." what? 49:01 And I'm thinking, well, what's 49:02 the secret, Paul? 49:03 Here it is, verse 13, "I can do 49:06 everything through Jesus Christ 49:09 who gives me strength." 49:12 Wow! 49:16 You know, for some people, the 49:17 smaller problems in marriage 49:19 stay smaller problems, and maybe 49:22 it's because of their 49:23 personality or their bent or 49:23 whatever, those things are 49:24 fairly easy to tackle. 49:26 They might be irritating for a 49:28 bit, but they're relatively 49:28 easy. 49:29 You know, I think of when my 49:31 wife was pregnant with my first 49:33 daughter, she was on bed rest 49:34 for 17 weeks. 49:38 It was terrible, wasn't it? 49:39 I don't even know if they 49:40 understand what that means. 49:41 That's-- like, in bed 49:42 for 17 weeks. 49:43 Everybody go, [gasps]. 49:45 Okay, she feels better now. 49:46 Yeah, she was feeling a little 49:46 bit left out. 49:47 Seventeen weeks. 49:48 And unfortunately, to add insult 49:50 to injury, this was in our 49:51 little microscopic apartment. 49:54 I mean, even germs had to duck 49:55 in order to get into our house. 49:57 It was just small, okay? 49:58 And in the living room is where 50:00 we kind of set up shop for 50:01 Darlene so that she could be on 50:03 bed rest, but at least kind of 50:04 be, you know, have some society 50:06 of some sort. 50:07 And so it was a hide-a-bed in a 50:08 sofa and we opened that up into 50:10 the living room and it just 50:11 devoured the living room. 50:13 And so I would come in there to, 50:15 you know, go from this part of 50:18 the niche to the next part of 50:19 the niche where the kitchen was, 50:21 and I've got big feet and my big 50:23 feet would often hit the frame 50:27 of the bed of a woman who was 50:30 very interested in not being 50:32 jiggled at that point, okay? 50:34 Now in first service I mentioned 50:35 that I would very frequently do 50:36 it and she said, "That is not 50:37 true. 50:38 You did it all the time," okay? 50:41 But she never told me about 50:43 this. 50:44 She finally decided, "You know 50:45 what? 50:46 I've got bigger fish to fry 50:47 right now than worrying about my 50:49 husband's big feet, getting me 50:51 something more from the 50:52 kitchen." 50:53 So disaster averted. 50:56 I think of a friend of mine, 50:57 newly married, turns out his 50:59 wife chewed popcorn very loudly. 51:03 I didn't even know that was 51:03 possible, but apparently there 51:04 are some popcorns that can be 51:06 heard. 51:07 So they're sitting next to each 51:07 other watching a movie, she's 51:08 eating popcorn, crunch, crunch, 51:10 crunch, crunch, crunch, and he's 51:11 thinking, "Oh, this is driving 51:12 me crazy. 51:13 But you know what? 51:13 This is my problem. 51:15 I will just move." 51:17 Not quite realizing how awkward 51:19 that is when you're the only two 51:20 people in the room and you stand 51:20 up from your new spouse and sit 51:22 on the other side, another place 51:23 there. 51:24 But he solved the problem and 51:26 disaster was once again, it was 51:28 diverted. 51:31 These kinds of problems, many 51:32 couples can navigate them, but 51:34 the sad truth is that every one 51:38 of us has a selfishly inclined 51:41 heart. 51:42 Every one of us has an ego that 51:44 sooner or later will demand 51:46 recognition. 51:47 "I am right," we will say, "I 51:48 deserve to win this argument 51:50 with my spouse. 51:51 They are not being fair. 51:52 I must have satisfaction." 51:56 And for so many couples, the 51:58 disagreements, whether it's 52:00 popcorn or shoes hitting bed 52:01 frames, they can escalate beyond 52:04 those things and couples can 52:06 find themselves wanting to 52:07 scream or even to leave their 52:09 marriage to get relief. 52:10 And thousands have shouted, 52:12 actually or internally, "I can't 52:14 take this! 52:15 I can't do it anymore!" 52:24 And they are absolutely correct. 52:30 They can't do it anymore. 52:34 Not by themselves. 52:41 The third key to a successful 52:43 forever marriage relationship is 52:47 to let God fuel your marriage. 52:52 Let God fuel your marriage. 52:58 You know, if the only fuel for 52:59 your marriage is you, I'll be 53:01 honest, good luck. 53:03 Good luck to you. 53:04 Hope that works out. 53:05 I really do wish you the best, 53:07 okay? 53:08 Because when your ego kicks in 53:10 and it will kick in, then the 53:12 fuel level in your marriage 53:13 tank, if it's just you, that's 53:14 the fuel for it, that fuel level 53:16 will drop like a rock. 53:19 But when God is your fuel, your 53:22 tank never runs dry. 53:26 When God is your fuel, something 53:28 supernatural takes place in the 53:30 human heart. 53:30 It can't be measured in a lab, 53:32 you can't see it with a 53:33 microscope, but oh, what a 53:34 difference God makes. 53:36 And when we walk with God, His 53:38 specialty is taking selfishness 53:40 and turning it into generosity. 53:42 Now, I wanna be real clear about 53:43 this, I am not talking about a 53:44 natural event. 53:45 This is divine intervention, and 53:47 God specializes in these things, 53:49 He knows exactly how to do it. 53:52 You know, one of my mentors, he 53:54 passed away a number of years 53:55 ago, we were together for many 53:57 years and he had something that 53:58 he said so often that what I'm 54:00 gonna share with you next 54:01 essentially is a quote, probably 54:03 not exact for each time, but he 54:05 said it many times. 54:06 Here's what he said, quote, 54:08 "Marriage is like a mirror that 54:10 shows your greatest triumphs and 54:14 your most glaring flaws, but I 54:16 am so grateful for being shown 54:18 my flaws because it enables me 54:20 to acknowledge them, give them 54:21 to God, and become a better 54:23 person. 54:25 Sometimes when my marriage shows 54:27 me my flaws, it takes me several 54:29 hours in my woodshop before I am 54:30 sufficiently grateful. 54:34 But with God's help I am always 54:36 able to do it." 54:40 And a little secret about 54:41 marriage, some of you have 54:42 thought that marriage was about 54:45 you loving another person. 54:48 As it turns out, marriage may 54:50 actually be even more about God 54:52 preparing you for His kingdom. 54:56 It is a school unlike any other, 54:58 and those who are willing to 54:59 submit to its discipline, there 55:02 is no limit to where God can 55:04 take them. 55:06 So why not let God be the fuel 55:07 for your marriage? 55:08 You say, "How do you do that?" 55:09 Very simple, things like this, 55:11 pray, pray by yourself, ask for 55:13 God's blessing in your life. 55:15 Pray together, pray with your 55:16 spouse. 55:16 You know, sometimes guys in 55:17 particular, this can be 55:18 difficult for us, I just wanna 55:19 say grind it out, do it. 55:21 You will be blessed if you do. 55:23 Go to church together, go to 55:24 places like this where you can 55:26 hear what God is saying, how to 55:27 have God as fuel in your 55:28 marriage. 55:29 Make friends with godly people 55:31 that have good marriages, 55:32 surround yourself with people 55:33 that will encourage you in your 55:34 marriage relationship. 55:36 Read a Bible based book on 55:37 marriage together. 55:38 Some of the most fruitful times 55:39 in Darlene's and mine's 55:41 relationship has been when we 55:42 have sat down to listen to what 55:43 somebody else thinks about 55:45 marriage and God. 55:46 It's been a tremendous learning 55:47 experience. 55:48 Do whatever it takes to let God 55:51 be the fuel for your marriage. 55:53 And then when the impossible is 55:57 asked of you and your ego rises 56:01 up and your marriage faces 56:02 obstacles that you know you 56:04 cannot overcome by yourself, God 56:07 will be there just as He's 56:09 always been, and He will get you 56:12 through when you both put your 56:14 trust in Him and let Him fuel 56:17 your marriage. 56:20 So you want happiness to extend 56:21 beyond "I do?" 56:23 You wanna develop a marriage 56:24 that makes you crave for even 56:26 more years together? 56:28 Then do what God in His Word has 56:30 called us to do, spend regular 56:32 quality time together, put the 56:34 scissors into your marriage and 56:35 cut away anything or any person 56:36 that would rob you of a happy 56:38 marriage, and let God fuel your 56:42 marriage. 56:43 By the grace of God, it is a 56:45 great way after you say "I do" 56:47 to create a marriage that lasts 56:49 happily and forever. 56:53 [applause] 57:01 >> I'm Shane Anderson, 57:02 the lead pastor hear at Pioneer 57:04 Memorial Church. 57:05 At Pioneer Media, we have been 57:07 blessed by the financial support 57:09 that comes from our viewers 57:10 like you that enable us to 57:12 continue this ministry. 57:14 We've made a conscious decision 57:16 not to continually appeal to you 57:17 for that support. 57:19 However, keeping this ministry 57:20 going takes money to support our 57:22 staff and technology needs. 57:25 If God has blessed you and you 57:26 would like the further the work 57:28 of this ministry, we invite you 57:30 to partner with us. 57:31 You can donate on our website, 57:33 pmchurch.org, then click 57:36 "Giving" at the top, then select 57:38 "Media Ministry." 57:40 Or call the number 877-HIS-WILL. 57:44 Again that number is 57:45 877- the two words, HIS WILL. 57:49 My prayer is that the God who 57:52 has blessed you will continue to 57:53 pour into your life the gifts of 57:55 His joy and His hope. 57:57 Thank you, and I'm looking 57:59 forward to seeing you right here 58:01 again next time. 58:08 ♪♪ |
Revised 2023-11-01