Participants:
Series Code: PTL
Program Code: PTL000008A
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01:03 Oh, that I had a thousand voices
01:09 to praise my God with thousand tongues. 01:15 My heart, which in the Lord rejoices, 01:20 would then proclaim in grateful songs. 01:30 O all ye powers that God implanted, 01:37 arise, and silence keep no more; 01:42 Put forth the strength that He has granted. 01:47 Your noblest work is to adore. 02:03 All creatures that have breath and motion, 02:08 that throng the earth, the sea, the sky, 02:14 now join me in my heart's devotion; 02:19 help me raise God's praises high. 02:25 Now join me in my heart's devotion; 02:30 help me raise God's praises high. 02:58 O Father, deign Thou, I beseech Thee, 03:04 to listen to my earthly lays; 03:10 a nobler strain in heaven shall reach Thee 03:15 when I with angels hymn Thy praise 03:21 and learn amid their choirs to sing 03:27 hallelujahs to my King. 03:37 Amen. 03:55 Hello 3ABN family, and welcome to the Paradise Valley 03:59 Seventh-day Adventist Church. 04:02 We're glad that wherever and whenever you're watching 04:05 this, that you are involved and welcomed to, Pathways to Life, 04:11 in Phoenix, Arizona. 04:13 This is in fact, like I say, the Paradise Valley 04:16 Seventh-day Adventist Church. 04:17 I'm the pastor, Jim Hakes, of the Phoenix church. 04:21 If you have been watching through the last seven 04:24 presentations, and there are fifteen presentations 04:27 with Pastor Lomacang of this, Pathways to Life, series, 04:31 so we're right at halfway, 04:33 but if you've been watching the first seven, 04:35 you may notice that right now we're doing 04:37 a little bit different. 04:39 The reason is, wherever or whenever you're seeing 04:42 or hearing this meeting today, this is actually the Sabbath 04:49 morning worship service here in Phoenix, Arizona. 04:52 So this is the Saturday morning service. 04:55 And I hope that it's a good day for you 04:58 whenever and wherever you're watching it. 05:02 You've just heard the sanctuary choir 05:05 of the Paradise Valley church 05:07 under the direction of Mr. Claudio Marsollier. 05:13 And Pastor Lomacang will be speaking to us in just a moment. 05:17 We just want you to know what a blessing it has been 05:20 here in Phoenix to have Elder Lomacang and his friends 05:25 from 3ABN putting on this presentation of meetings. 05:31 And it has been a blessing to our church family. 05:34 We hope and pray that it is a blessing to you 05:37 as you're watching and listening. 05:38 Whether you're watching on 3ABN or live streaming, 05:42 or whether you're on Good News TV, 05:45 we just want you to know that we hope that these 05:48 series of meetings are a blessing in your family. 05:52 Today, Elder Lomacang is going to be speaking to us 05:55 on the subject, The Family of God. 05:59 And as he speaks to us about the subject, The Family of God, 06:03 it is our prayer that your family is blessed 06:09 as we talk about God's family. 06:14 Elder Lomacang, come and speak to us, if you would please. 06:18 Good morning, everyone. 06:21 I can say, as the pastor said, happy Sabbath, everyone. 06:25 Glad to see you here. 06:27 We are going to dive right into the presentation this morning, 06:30 and ask for the Lord's blessings. 06:31 Amen to that choir. 06:33 It's so good to hear an organ shake a church for a change. 06:36 And we know that the Holy Spirit will guide 06:39 our hearts this morning as the Spirit of God 06:41 shakes our thoughts. 06:43 In reference to what I believe is the key to having 06:47 a successful growing church is a family that is 06:51 grounded in Christ. 06:53 Let us bow this morning as we call on the Lord. 06:56 Heavenly Father, we thank You for the privilege of 06:59 opening Your Word this morning. 07:01 Speak to our hearts as we talk about family; 07:03 one of the other blessings You established 07:07 in the Garden of Eden before sin came and marred the world. 07:11 We talk about the Sabbath, which is Your blessed day today. 07:15 And we thank You for the family, 07:16 which is Your blessed institution. 07:19 Cause our hearts to be guided by Your Spirit. 07:21 And, Lord, wherever there is a relationship, 07:24 a marriage, a husband and a wife, 07:26 give them the willing heart to be all that You envisioned 07:29 marriage to be. 07:31 In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. 07:34 We'll begin with a text in the book of Genesis. 07:37 In the Garden of Eden God created 07:39 two wonderful institutions. 07:41 And I don't like the word, institution, 07:44 so much when it comes to marriage. 07:45 I like to say, God created two wonderful 07:49 foundational principles. 07:51 Because marriage, when you use the word, institution, 07:54 it sounds like a sentence rather than a blessing. 07:57 But God established the marriage in the Garden of Eden. 08:00 And notice the words of God in the very beginning. 08:23 When God made man and woman, it is as if God divided Himself 08:29 down the middle. 08:31 He created in man the divinity, the maleness 08:36 of His divinity He inserted into man. 08:40 And the femaleness He inserted into woman. 08:43 That's why whenever man and woman is joined together in 08:47 marriage, they complete the image of God in the human race. 08:51 It is not possible for the image of God in the human race 08:55 to be represented in any other way. 08:58 And as we come to the modern setting today in our world, 09:00 it is not possible for man and man to complete 09:04 the image of God in the human race. 09:06 It is not possible for woman with woman to complete 09:10 the image of God in the human race. 09:12 - Can I get an amen, somebody? ~ Amen. 09:14 Even though our society has moved in a completely 09:16 different direction. 09:18 And I'm not shocked. 09:19 Because the world in which we live has moved for 09:22 thousands of years in the opposite 09:25 direction of God's blessing. 09:27 But the church is not called to follow 09:29 the direction of the world. 09:30 The church is called to follow the direction of God. 09:34 So the church should never apologize for being strong 09:38 on a, "Thus saith the Lord." 09:41 That's why God, when He called the church 09:42 to reflect His image, He made this statement. 09:52 And then He gave them a command that Paul the apostle 09:55 makes very clear, as the husband and the wife 09:58 is a reflection of God's relationship with His church. 10:02 Notice these words in Ephesians 5:25. 10:15 The 21st century family is under attack. 10:20 More than ever before. 10:22 And the reason I say, more than ever before, is because 10:24 the devil knows he has a short time. 10:26 He also knows that the church is only as strong as the family. 10:31 My wife and I are going on 35 years of marriage. 10:34 We didn't get here on a bed of ease. 10:37 But one of the challenges today is not that marriages 10:39 are doomed to fail because of challenges, 10:42 but too many times the marriage succumbs to the challenges 10:47 rather than standing on the power of God 10:50 to defeat and be victorious over any challenge. 10:54 The 21st century has come with all of its challenges. 10:57 I saw this... Actually my wife and I... 10:59 So many times she helps me get these little sermon nuggets, 11:02 which I appreciate. 11:03 She gave me this yesterday. 11:05 Think about the 21st century. 11:08 Our phones are wireless; cooking, fireless; 11:11 cars, keyless; food, fatless; tires, tubeless; 11:15 dresses, sleeveless; youth, jobless; 11:19 leaders, shameless; relationships, meaningless; 11:23 attitudes, careless; wives, fearless; 11:26 babies, fatherless; feelings, heartless; 11:29 education, valueless; children, mannerless; 11:32 even though I'm speechless, my hope is endless. 11:35 Amen, somebody. 11:38 The 21st century has come out with its fists balled up. 11:43 The Mike Tyson, the Muhammad Ali of destruction of the family 11:47 has come out swinging. 11:48 And so many families go down because they look more 11:53 at the world's pattern for family than at 11:56 God's pattern for family. 11:57 You could never find outside of God's ideal for marriage 12:01 what God intends to be only in marriage. 12:04 We talked about the Sabbath in our last presentation. 12:07 The Sabbath is a horizontal relationship 12:09 between man and God. 12:11 The marriage... Sorry. 12:12 Vertical relationship between man and God. 12:15 The marriage is a horizontal relationship 12:17 between a husband and wife. 12:20 And you cannot find outside of that relationship 12:22 that God has established. 12:24 It's the oldest institution in the Bible. 12:27 And it is God's plan that wherever the family 12:30 is established, His image will be reflected. 12:33 Not only through the husband, but also through the wife, 12:36 and also through the children. 12:37 Any family based on God's principles in His Word 12:41 will always come to the place where they can reflect 12:43 the blessing of God. 12:45 But on the other side, it is Satan's determined purpose 12:48 to cause the family to be a curse. 12:52 As he tries to violate the Sabbath, 12:55 he also aims at violating the family. 12:58 And today in our world, Lord have mercy, 13:02 the family has to pray harder today 13:04 than at any other time in human history. 13:10 Because this is not the kind of world 13:14 that existed 20 years ago, or 40 years ago, 13:18 or 50 years ago. 13:20 There was a time, you know, when you watched television... 13:23 If you're old enough to remember Ozzie and Harriet. 13:25 I'm not, but I've seen some of those 13:29 black and white shows on YouTube. 13:31 Those were the days when, you know, they showed 13:33 husband and wife, they slept in separate beds. 13:35 Remember that? 13:36 They would never show them in bed together. 13:39 Now that's all they do. 13:43 Sometimes you're watching a family program 13:45 and the commercial is corrupt. 13:47 Sometimes you cannot walk through the mall. 13:49 Sometimes a man that has struggles with sexual issues 13:52 cannot walk through some malls. 13:56 You know what I'm talking about. 13:58 You've got to walk through a mall with a bridle. 14:02 Not a bridal as in a wedding, but a bridle as in a horse. 14:06 And men, you've got to train your eyes not to gawk. 14:17 But when you look at the ideal for God and the family, 14:20 when you look at God's ideal for the family, 14:21 notice what He says in Genesis 2:24. 14:32 One of the first principles of marriage, I learned this, 14:35 is when you are married, do not live with your relatives. 14:44 I hope you have on your seat belts. 14:46 I'm going to come at you this morning. 14:49 Do not live with your relatives. 14:51 Because your father, your wife's mother 14:55 will always be her mother. 14:57 And your husband's mother will always be his mother. 15:01 And ladies, you know about mother-in-law's that... 15:05 Well, I had a beautiful mother-in-law. 15:08 But in some cases you know how that goes. 15:10 I won't even talk about that too much this morning. 15:13 But seven times in the Bible you find the phrase, "one flesh." 15:17 Which means, and I took this, seven times the phrase, 15:21 "one flesh," shows up in the Bible, 15:23 which means, seven is the number of perfection. 15:26 You can only be one flesh if you rely on the perfection of 15:30 God to hold you together. 15:32 You can only be one flesh that way. 15:34 Because the world in which we live is trying to challenge 15:36 the flesh on every side. 15:38 Matthew 19:6 makes it clear. 15:52 Which brings me to my first point this morning. 15:54 Very important. 15:55 Don't give anyone the place that belongs 15:57 only to your spouse. 16:02 Whether at work, whether in your carpool, 16:07 whether in your social setting, don't give anyone the place 16:11 that belongs only to your spouse. 16:14 If people would have forward looking vision. 16:16 Sometimes people might say, "Well, we're just talking." 16:19 Well, you know, that's what Eve and Satan did. 16:21 They just had a conversation. 16:23 Look at where we ended up. 16:25 It just started with a conversation. 16:27 That's why the Bible says and makes it very clear, 16:31 Proverbs 6:23, a powerful passage. 16:33 Are you ready today? 16:35 I hope you are. 17:02 Not even a piece of bread, but a crust of bread. 17:15 You've got to think beyond the moment, men. 17:17 Can I talk to the men today? 17:19 You've got to think beyond the moment, men. 17:21 No amens necessary. 17:23 Because I don't think I'll get many on that point. 17:26 You've got to think beyond the moment. 17:29 Many homes have been completely destroyed 17:32 because somebody fluttered their eyelids 17:36 or gave you the attention that you know you did not deserve. 17:40 And all of a sudden, what God intended to be a blessing 17:43 became an absolute curse. 17:45 And the pain that could have been avoided 17:48 often hangs around longer than you desire 17:49 for it to hang around. 17:51 If she looks good, doesn't mean she is good. 17:54 And if she's not your wife, she ain't good. 18:02 That's why I take my wife everywhere. 18:06 So when you see me hugging somebody in church, 18:08 it's my wife. 18:10 I was invited to a foreign country once, and they told me, 18:12 "Well, we can't afford to bring your wife. 18:14 We can't afford another ticket." 18:16 I said, "Well then cancel me." 18:18 They said, "We can't because you're on the program." 18:20 I said, "Well buy another ticket." 18:21 They said, "Well we can't afford it." 18:23 And I was contending with a strong woman. 18:25 She said, "We cannot afford it. 18:27 But you're on all the posters. You need to be here." 18:29 I said, "Well, I don't care if I'm on the posters. 18:31 Cancel me if you can't pay for my wife." 18:34 Well they paid for her. 18:37 And they said, "What's she going to do?" 18:38 I said, "Be my wife. 18:41 See, after I talk to you guys, 18:42 I need somebody to keep me sane." 18:44 Amen? 18:46 But do not allow what you see to determine what you do. 18:50 Because if the devil knows where your weakness lies, 18:53 he will bring to you exactly what your 18:56 heart is alluring after. 18:59 Notice the Bible. Very clear. 19:01 Can you take this any other way? 19:06 Very... The seventh commandment. 19:10 "You should not commit adultery." 19:12 That means God gave you one wife. 19:15 And if you stay with that one wife 19:16 you'll find joy and happiness forever more. 19:21 Some people think the grass is greener on the other side. 19:23 No, it needs to be mowed too. 19:26 And the sun dries that up. 19:29 And often times we go after somebody that we only 19:31 see during the daytime. 19:32 We don't see their attitudes and all that stuff 19:34 that they deal with. 19:36 But then again, you shouldn't even be concerned about that 19:37 if they're not your wife. 19:43 You guys are awfully quiet today. 19:44 But I'm not asking for amens anyhow. 19:47 Proverbs 6:32 19:55 When you read Proverbs 5 and 6, 19:58 the counsel to husbands, the counsel to young men. 20:02 All through the Scriptures there are so many principles. 20:05 All through the Scriptures. 20:08 Not only, "Be not unequally yoked." 20:10 I hear about young ladies, they say, "Well I can't 20:11 find anybody in the church." 20:13 And I say to them, "Well have you traveled 20:15 all around the world?" 20:18 If you can't find an Adventist young man 20:19 in an Adventist church in Phoenix, 20:21 go to California. 20:23 Go anyplace else, except to be unequally yoked. 20:29 Hallelujah. 20:31 Because the misconception is you're going to find somebody 20:36 that you think you can change, when you cannot change them. 20:39 If you don't like who you are... 20:41 If you don't like who that person is when you find them, 20:43 chances are they're not going to change any time soon. 20:45 And you can't change anybody anyhow. 20:47 But when you step outside of what God intends 20:50 to be a blessing to you, you lack understanding. 20:54 You lack understanding. 20:55 If you look at the Bible, one of the reasons why 20:57 Eve was deceived is she entertained 20:59 her conversation with Satan too long. 21:04 She thought about what he said for so long that 21:07 by the time he said, "You will not surely die," 21:10 she was already gone. 21:12 And one of the reasons why we often fall into the places 21:15 we do is we think that we won't be the one that gets killed. 21:19 And marriages get killed, trust gets killed, 21:22 love gets killed, strength gets killed. 21:26 So when the devil says, "If you go outside of these confines 21:28 you will not surely die," it is a lie. 21:30 - Amen, somebody. ~ Amen. 21:32 Lack understanding. 21:34 The Bible says in Hebrews 13:4... 21:42 So when God blesses you, hold in high esteem... 21:48 Gentlemen, husbands, single men. 21:52 If you're looking for a wife, pray twice as hard. 21:55 ...hold in high esteem the value God has given to you. 21:59 Because you can never find outside of God's plan 22:03 what God intends only to be in His plan. 22:07 Amen? 22:09 Elders, be careful how much time you spend with a deaconess. 22:18 Church members, a man should not be found 22:23 counseling a woman by himself. 22:26 All she's got to do is cry. That's it. 22:29 Shoulder; next thing you know, "It's going to be alright." 22:33 "Oh, I'm so glad you're here." 22:35 And before you know it, you're outside the Garden of Eden. 22:40 And the angels barring the very blessing 22:42 God intended for you to have. 22:43 But I also want to say this. 22:46 While adultery is a horrible violation of the marriage, 22:53 there is no sin that you could commit that the Lord cannot 22:56 forgive you of. 22:58 It doesn't mean... 23:00 And when you read about adultery in the Bible, 23:01 Moses said that God allowed adultery only because of the 23:04 hardness of someone's heart. 23:06 Divorce. He only allowed divorce because of the 23:09 hardness of someone's heart. 23:10 It was never God's intention for there to be divorce. 23:13 But some people use the word, "divorce," 23:15 the moment problems arise. 23:17 One of the reasons why marriages fail today is not because 23:20 they don't have problems, or not because they do have problems, 23:24 but because they don't fight through the problems together. 23:29 And so many people fight each other. 23:31 My wife and I have discovered we either win together 23:34 or we lose together. 23:35 Amen? 23:36 You can't fight your wife and win. 23:38 Gentlemen, you'll never win an argument against your wife. 23:41 If you think you've won, it's not over. 23:46 You ever had an argument and think about 23:47 what you should have said later on? 23:53 But I want to show you God's grace. 23:56 One of the most powerful stories in the Bible 23:58 is the woman caught in adultery. 24:01 There's nothing you can commit that God cannot forgive you of. 24:03 Don't go into it with your eyes open thinking that 24:06 God will overlook it though. 24:07 Look at this wonderful story. 24:10 John 8:3-11 24:36 One writer said that Jesus was writing their sin in the sand. 24:43 I'm glad that God does not write our sin in stone. 25:01 Sometimes people spend more time highlighting what 25:03 your problem is than what their problem is. 25:06 And whatever it is, the door hit the nail on the head here. 25:09 But he goes on by saying this... 25:26 The oldest was always the most responsible. 25:42 This is powerful. I want you to get this. 25:44 "Has no one condemned you?" 25:47 Yes they did, but they're not there anymore. 25:57 Now I want you to get something. 25:59 Jesus didn't condemn her. 26:02 He condemned the sin. 26:07 Look at the Bible. 26:08 He forgave her. 26:10 He did not by any means give her permission 26:14 to remain in the sin. 26:16 He said, go and do what? Sin no more. 26:18 Don't let this happen again. 26:20 And when you read the story in the Bible of Mary Magdalene, 26:24 you read that Jesus cast seven demons out. 26:26 In fact, it was the same demon seven times. 26:31 God is a God of grace. 26:32 Somebody ought to say amen. 26:34 He forgave her, but notice what He did not do. 26:37 Romans 8:3 26:47 He didn't condemn the sinner, He condemned the sin. 26:51 Only those who refuse to repent will be condemned in the end. 26:55 Only those who refuse to confess. 26:57 He who confesses and forsakes will have mercy. 27:01 But he who covers his sin will not prosper. 27:04 You cannot remain in sin and think 27:06 that God has overlooked it. 27:07 No, there's a judgment day coming. 27:18 The woman caught in the very act 27:23 was not condemned by God, by Jesus, 27:25 but the act was condemned. 27:27 That's why He said, "Go and do this no more. 27:30 Sin no more." 27:31 And when you think about it, in the book of Luke, 27:34 Jesus speaking about the person out of which 27:40 demons were cast, He said, "Go and sin no more, 27:43 lest a worse thing come upon you." 27:47 What people don't know is, you cannot be in sin 27:50 and play with it like you play with a German Shepherd dog. 27:58 Because it will bite you. 27:59 It will get you. 28:01 Point number two, that's why you have to guard your thoughts. 28:04 Say that with me. 28:05 Guard your thoughts. 28:07 Here's the reason why. 28:08 Whatever your thoughts reflect on is going to 28:10 take over your character. 28:11 Proverbs 4:23 28:27 The first sign of departure from God's Word 28:31 should frighten you enough to say, "Lord, help me." 28:37 But I've discovered, and I've seen in the lives of so many, 28:43 that by the time a person is about ready to fall, 28:46 they have stayed at that tree too long 28:49 and they cannot rescue themselves. 28:53 Guard your thoughts. 28:55 And your thoughts are controlled by what you see. 28:59 Many people don't know. 29:00 And that's why the world we live in today is so provocative. 29:03 It's designed to mess up the mind of a man. 29:08 Men are stimulated by what they see. 29:10 Women are stimulated by touch. 29:14 If you're not married to a particular person, 29:17 don't feel that you have the liberty to walk up to them and 29:19 touch them any way you feel that you want to. 29:22 Just because... 29:23 Watch out that phrase, "Greet your brethren with a holy kiss." 29:26 Most of those kisses are not holy. 29:32 As I wrote down here, the Lord gave this to me, 29:34 keep the issues that will destroy your heart 29:37 out of your mind. 29:38 Keep the issues that will destroy your mind 29:40 out of your heart. 29:41 The heart will not grow fonder where the mind does not wander. 29:49 These destructive thoughts. 29:51 This is a survey that I chose these from. 29:54 Destructive thoughts. 29:58 When things go wrong, don't ever utter those words. 30:02 "Our marriage was a mistake." 30:03 Now in some cases if you choose to marry somebody 30:07 that God never led you to and you're determined 30:09 in spite of all of God's counsel that you're going to take 30:12 that person, that man or that woman, 30:13 just because that's who you want... 30:15 And you've seen so many examples in Scripture. 30:18 Samson was one of those. 30:19 He said to his father, "Get me that woman. 30:21 She pleases me." 30:23 And God said, "That's not the intent. 30:26 Don't marry foreign women." 30:27 Solomon; I think that man is going to need 30:29 counseling throughout eternity. 30:31 Seven hundred wives, three hundred concubines. 30:35 And Ellen White says in the book, Patriarchs and Prophets, 30:38 that Solomon had so many women in his life 30:42 that toward the closing of his life 30:44 he had an effeminate persona. 30:50 It changed the way he talked. 30:52 It changed the ways in his life. 30:54 Even though he repented, he had an effeminate persona 30:57 toward the closing of his life. 30:59 God will forgive you. 31:00 But sometimes you have to live with the result of your choices. 31:04 "I can't take much more of this." 31:05 When you get into an argument, stop saying things that 31:09 you're going to regret. 31:10 Some people don't have a stop in front of their mouths. 31:12 They get all upset, "I'm out of here." 31:14 The next thing you know they are outside and they realize, 31:16 "How did I get out here?" 31:17 Destructive thoughts. 31:19 Some more... 31:23 Yes they do. 31:24 But sometimes if you're insisting your way, 31:26 it may appear as though you're not understood. 31:28 Stop and reason together. 31:30 My wife and I have learned a very important principle. 31:33 When it gets too hot, let's stop and pray. 31:36 Amen? 31:38 I say, "Honey, we're going to win together 31:40 or we're going to lose together." 31:42 And we've gotten to the place, after so many years 31:44 we got to the place in our relationship where we say, 31:47 "You know, I'm really sorry. 31:49 I am really sorry. 31:51 I apologize." 31:53 Through the years we've grown through this. 31:56 Because sometimes we got angry with each other 31:58 and went to bed like 4:00 o'clock in the morning. 32:00 She's at the edge of the bed that way 32:02 and I'm at the edge of the bed that way. 32:04 You know how I'm talking about, right? 32:05 You become stone monuments. 32:06 You don't move, you don't breathe. 32:08 For four hours you haven't taken one breath. 32:10 You can't move because you are determined, 32:12 "I am not going to give in this time. 32:14 I am not going to give in." 32:17 4:00 o'clock in the morning, "You awake?" 32:21 "Yeah, I' awake." 32:24 "I'm sorry." 32:26 "I'm sorry too." 32:29 "It was my fault." "No it was my fault." 32:31 And then you start arguing over whose fault it is. 32:35 "Just would you let it be my fault?" 32:37 "No, it was my fault." 32:38 "I don't want to talk to you anymore." 32:39 Not really, but... 32:41 God will humble the heart who wants to be humbled. 32:44 But if your mind is recalcitrant and you just 32:46 want to win an argument... 32:48 Let me say this to ladies. 32:49 Don't throw anything at me. 32:51 Some women want just to be right. 32:57 Some men want to just be right. 33:00 If you want to win the argument, you may lose the person. 33:07 Some issues are not even the issue. 33:09 It's the attitude in the issue that's often the issue. 33:13 Going on, a few other destructive thoughts. 33:16 "Divorce is always an option." 33:18 No it is not. 33:20 "I'll go home to my mother." 33:24 If she does, don't follow her. 33:27 "Spending time together is not a problem." 33:30 Be careful who you spend too much time with. 33:35 "I saw him smile at her. I saw her smile at him." 33:39 What you saw may not be what you saw. 33:46 The list of the top ten killers. 33:49 Top ten marriage killers: lack of trust, suspicion, 33:52 not being heard, taken for granted, 33:54 growing apart, a don't care attitude, 33:57 divided heart, marital affair, career over family, 34:03 and one of the key ones, no religion in the home. 34:08 You cannot build a marriage that was made by God 34:12 on a foundation where God is missing. 34:15 Am I right? 34:17 God blessed the marriage, but you want to 34:18 have a marriage without God. 34:20 No, that's a contract. 34:22 That's a contract. 34:24 Let me talk to the young people today. 34:25 Or any age, if you fall into this category. 34:28 Point three, don't live together unless married. 34:34 Now older people do this as well as younger people. 34:38 Older people; and I've had some situations. 34:40 My dad, who is now deceased, and his wife, 34:43 neither of them were Christians. 34:45 And they lived together. 34:48 They got married. 34:49 And then they got divorced. 34:51 And I said, "Why did you get divorced?" 34:52 "Well we don't have any issues. 34:53 It's just that we have to divorce because if we're 34:55 married, she'll lose her social security 34:57 and I'll lose my social security." 35:00 Well, you know, it's bigger than that. 35:02 You'll lose your salvation, and she'll lose her salvation. 35:07 So don't get married for financial convenience 35:09 when it's not in harmony with God's will. 35:12 And young people say, "Well, how would we know 35:15 if we're going to work unless we live together first?" 35:18 I was reading a statistic last night. 35:20 And it's so much; I mean, I've been a marriage coach 35:23 for many, many years. 35:24 I was reading a statistic last night, and they said 35:27 about 80% of the marriages... 35:29 And there are various polls. 35:30 You know, not everybody agrees. 35:32 But in this particular poll, 75% to 80% of people that 35:35 live together before they marry don't usually stay married. 35:40 And when you're living together, and you get upset that he or she 35:42 leaves, they have the right. 35:45 Because you don't have any papers on them. 35:47 They could get up at any moment and say, "I'm out of here," 35:49 and you have no legal recourse. 35:51 Do not live together. 35:53 It is not a blessing and it will never be a blessing, 35:56 because God never intended for you to shack up together. 35:59 Amen, somebody. 36:01 And then there are other people that say, 36:04 "Well, we're not sexually involved. 36:07 We just share an apartment together." 36:10 Right! 36:11 There was a couple in our church once that... 36:14 I'm going to tell the story. 36:16 I noticed in one of our evangelistic series 36:18 many churches ago... 36:19 So you don't know which one I'm talking about. 36:21 ...and I noticed that both their names were on our 36:25 Revelation seminar list, and they both had the same address. 36:28 And they were both church members. 36:29 And I said, "Wait a minute. They're not married." 36:31 And I asked my leaders, I said, "Is this a typo?" 36:33 They said, "No, they live together." 36:35 And they were leaders in our church. 36:36 I said, "They live together? 36:39 When were you guys going to tell me?" 36:40 "Well, pastor, we didn't want to be a tattletale." 36:42 "So you wanted to bring God's reproach on our church, right?" 36:46 I went to their house the next day. 36:48 I said, "Let me in." 36:52 They said, "We're just sharing an apartment. 36:53 We're not... There's nothing going on here." 36:55 I said, "Come on, guys. Really? Honestly? 36:57 I'm from New York. 37:00 Really?" 37:01 I said, "Okay, I'll tell you what. 37:02 We have a board meeting coming up Sunday. 37:04 You either move out or you get married. 37:06 But you've got just a couple more days." 37:09 Well by Wednesday I didn't hear anything. 37:11 And I went back and visited them. 37:13 I said, "You know, you've got two days before the 37:15 marriage office to get a marriage certificate closes. 37:19 You've got Thursday and Friday. 37:20 We're having a board meeting Sunday. 37:21 Your name will come up." 37:23 They got their marriage license on Thursday, 37:26 they had a wedding on Saturday. 37:27 They got baptized on Saturday. They had the wedding on Sunday. 37:30 Amen? 37:31 And whenever I go back to that church, they say, 37:32 "Pastor," they never forgot that, twenty-seven years later, 37:36 "Pastor, the best thing you could have done 37:39 was tell us to get married. 37:41 Because our daughter is a blessing to us 37:43 ever since we got married." 37:45 Because God will not bless you when you live 37:47 outside of His harmony. 37:49 It won't happen. 37:50 So here's the text for those of you that 37:52 think it doesn't really matter. 38:02 And then when you don't think that anybody thinks it matters, 38:06 abstain from what? 38:10 When two people are walking in the same apartment 38:12 and they're not even married, you mean to tell me that 38:14 the devil won't set traps for you? 38:17 Come on, let's get realistic here. 38:19 You just so happen to just end up in the same living room 38:24 at the same time, and it was a coincidence. 38:28 And all of a sudden the devil says, "It took me some time, 38:30 but I got you there." 38:31 Be careful. And let me tell you something. 38:33 The devil is patient. 38:36 He'll wait. 38:38 He'll wait and he'll work on your mind. 38:40 Because when you stay at the tree of the knowledge 38:42 of evil, the devil is going to orchestrate 38:45 circumstances as to mess up your relationship with God. 38:50 The other one, don't allow your anger to go beyond one day. 38:56 Some people, I don't know about this, there are some couples 38:58 that don't talk for like a week. 39:00 That will never happen in our household. 39:04 That's satanic. 39:06 That's deep satanically born pride. 39:10 That's why the seventh thing that God hates is pride. 39:14 The Bible says... 39:21 Too many people, their minds are not focused on 39:25 what may be best for the other individual. 39:27 So they determine what they want and they build a 39:29 box around themselves and they refuse to come out. 39:33 I know people that have lived together 39:35 and they just have not talked for a long time 39:37 and they act like strangers. 39:39 "How was your day?" 39:40 "How was your day?" 39:42 And they are like at odds. 39:44 Totally in opposite directions when it comes 39:46 to love for each other. 39:47 They act like robots together. 39:49 Let me tell you something. 39:50 When anger gets into your mind and it stays there, 39:53 it will be a cancer that may bring a disease 39:56 on the person that stays angry. 39:59 Many diseases have sprung up in the lives of people 40:01 that could have been avoided, but their anger 40:05 has been their god. 40:07 And instead of getting rid of that anger, 40:09 they have lived with it and now they've got brain cancer 40:12 or some kind of cancer in their body because their anger 40:15 has eaten them up more than anything else. 40:18 I tell you, pride will kill a marriage. 40:27 Don't raise your hand, but I know some of you 40:28 have argued at times. 40:30 Right? We've all argued at times. 40:33 But I tell you what. 40:34 My mother-in-law use to say this, and I never forget this. 40:37 My mother-in-law, my wife's mother, now deceased, 40:39 wonderful mother-in-law. 40:41 She said to her daughter, "If one of you is the fire, 40:44 the other one needs to be the water." 40:49 But that has to be an intentionality on your part. 40:52 That has to be an intentionality on your part. 40:54 And my wife and I have learned... 40:56 No matter how long you've been married, 40:58 you can still learn something. 41:00 Am I right? Come on, husbands. 41:01 Because it is said statistically that every seven months, 41:05 or every seven years, your spouse becomes a new person. 41:09 There are new things that entered her mind, 41:11 her life, her experiences. 41:13 Learn her love language. Learn his love language. 41:16 Sometimes a love language may be spending quality 41:20 and quantity time with each other. 41:22 My wife goes with me everywhere. 41:25 Because when I get older, as Pastor Brooks told my wife 41:28 and I, he said, "When you get older and all you have 41:31 is photos, make sure that both of you are in them." 41:35 Amen? 41:36 There are some pastors I know that travel the world, 41:38 very famous, very visible, 41:39 I don't even know who their spouse is. 41:43 But I love it when people write me an email, 41:45 "Let Angela know I said hello." 41:48 "Tell John I said hello." 41:49 It's the John and Angie ministry. 41:51 Amen, somebody. 41:53 God didn't just call me. He called my wife too. 41:55 I could not be who I am if God did not give me 41:57 the godly woman that He gave. 41:59 Quality time, affirmation, acts of service, 42:02 and physical touch. 42:03 Sometimes we're... 42:04 You know, here during the meetings I'm busy as... 42:07 Man, I tell you, the word, "busy," is an understatement. 42:10 But I look at my wife and I see her over there, 42:12 and I'll walk over to her, and she says, 42:14 "My love cup is empty. Can I get a hug?" 42:18 And we have this song that comes over. 42:19 It's a song that talks about no matter how old you get, 42:22 you know, we will dance in the sun or in the pouring rain. 42:27 And when our steps get slow, and time goes on, 42:31 we will still hold each other and we will dance. 42:34 Now I'm not talking about carnal dancing. 42:38 But there's no sin to hold your wife or your husband 42:41 and just embrace her or him and say, 42:43 "I need that." 42:45 So much could be resolved if you would just 42:48 take time and embrace each other. 42:50 And relish the thing that God has given you. 42:53 You cannot light a candle if the flame is all the way over here. 42:58 You've got to bring that flame close and warm that heart. 43:01 And so many problems could dissipate with one embrace 43:04 and a heart that has allowed pride to be put to death. 43:08 Let's go to the next one. 43:09 Develop an eye for your spouse. 43:14 Whew. 43:17 As I travel sometimes, my wife is with me, 43:19 we sometimes go places, and I'd say, "Honey, 43:24 that woman is too friendly." 43:27 She says, "I sense the same thing." 43:32 When you see that somebody is looking at you too long 43:35 or being too overly nice and kind to you, 43:38 and you're married, watch out. 43:43 No amens necessary. 43:47 I said to my wife, "Honey, hold onto me. 43:49 I may not look like Arnold Schwarzenegger now 43:51 but I will in eternity. 43:55 I promise you that. 43:57 Hold on till the next version comes along. 44:01 Please don't leave me because I look like I'm wasting away." 44:06 And she said, "Honey, I love you no matter what you look like." 44:09 That's why we have to fall in love with 44:11 things that do not change. 44:12 Because I tell you, there were those days when 44:15 your husband had ripples, 44:16 now they're just flailing in the wind. 44:21 But love him anyhow. 44:22 Am I right? 44:23 And no matter what color your wife's hair is, 44:25 love her through every shade. 44:29 That's why I decided I'm letting my hair turn gray. 44:32 My wife loves my gray hair even though sometimes 44:34 she says color it black. 44:36 She even did a survey on Facebook, 44:38 "How many think my husband should color his hair?" 44:40 I was so happy when the people said, "Let him leave it gray." 44:44 Amen. 44:45 Develop an eye for your own spouse. 44:47 Because here's the point. 44:48 When you think the grass is greener, it's artificial turf. 44:53 You ought to know that in Phoenix. 44:56 It's artificial turf. Ain't no life in it. 45:05 You know what that means? 45:07 An immoral woman will tell you what you want to hear. 45:10 "Oh, you so fine. You so handsome." 45:14 And you know you ain't all that. 45:16 But she just tells you that 'cause she's trying to trap you. 45:20 Like Delilah said to Sampson, 45:21 "Tell me where your strength lies." 45:23 And you want to shake him in the story. 45:24 Have you ever wanted to like hit him? 45:26 "Sampson, come on. Wake up." 45:29 "Tell me where your strength lies." 45:30 The devil wants to find out where your strength is 45:32 and sever your tie with God. 45:40 The woman you think that likes you will cut you down. 45:47 Let the Bible be clear. 45:51 Lord have mercy, the Scriptures are full of knowledge. 45:54 Number six, don't nag your mate. 45:58 I thank God I don't have a wife like that. 46:02 Let me let the Bible speak. 46:04 Because I could really go off on this one. 46:07 Proverbs 21:19 46:21 Let the Bible speak. 46:22 I need to guard my own lips today. 46:25 Proverbs 27:15 46:33 Chinese water torture. 46:36 If your wife's lips, read what Ellen White says, 46:38 if the lips and the heart of a wife is not converted, 46:41 she could bring her husband down. 46:44 But it's not just women that are that way. 46:46 Some men have the same issue. 46:49 Proverbs 26:21 46:59 Some men just want to fight. 47:03 Pray for those men that don't have God in their lives. 47:06 They just want to fight. 47:07 They cannot let their wives have peace. 47:09 They walk through the door, they're ready to fight. 47:12 Be a peacemaker. 47:14 "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called 47:18 the children of God." 47:20 Don't think you always have to win an argument. 47:21 Contention. 47:23 And stop harping on stuff all the time. 47:25 One guy said he thinks his wife is an angel. 47:27 She's always harping on something. 47:35 That's through the years of counseling people. 47:38 Number seven, children... 47:40 You thought I forgot the children, didn't you? 47:42 ...honor and obey your parents. 47:44 Can the parents say amen? 47:46 Today, children are flat out unruly. 47:51 And society has made giving them a spanking 47:55 a ten year sentence in jail. 47:57 I tell you what. 48:00 I was raised in a West Indian home. 48:03 Did say a mouthful just now? 48:05 In West Indian homes, some of those cultural homes, 48:10 my other knew that my bottom was not just for sitting. 48:16 And if that didn't work, I remember once 48:18 I stepped out of line and she made my... 48:20 She had a birthday party for me and I had to sit in my room 48:23 and watch people blow my birthday out. 48:25 Birthday cake out, candles out. 48:28 I tell you, sometimes punishment hurts worse 48:31 than a whipping. 48:33 Nowadays you say to kids, "Go to your room," 48:35 that's exactly what they want. 48:37 They've got a computer, television, phone. 48:41 They probably want you to put them in there 48:43 for a five year sentence. 48:44 They don't really want to talk to you. 48:47 Am I telling the truth? 48:49 So children, honor your parents. 48:52 Here's the reason why. 48:53 There's a promise that many kids miss. 48:56 Exodus 20:12 49:03 Some children die before they should because 49:05 they despise their parents. 49:08 In old Bible times when a kid was a despising 49:11 ruling in his family, they'd stone him. 49:15 Take him down... "We don't need that kid. 49:16 You can stone him." 49:19 If that was happening today... 49:22 "How many kids do you have now?" 49:24 "Five." 49:26 "How many do you have now?" "Four." 49:33 But the child is the one that's robbing himself or herself 49:35 when they are rude. 49:37 They don't know that your parents have 49:38 been where you think you're headed. 49:41 And for those of you who think that you're smarter 49:43 than your parents, you need a check-up from the neck up. 49:47 That was a New York term, by the way. 49:50 Ephesians 6:1, "Children, obey your parents 49:53 in the Lord, for this is right." 49:55 The key is, "in the Lord." 49:57 If your parents are telling you to do something that 49:59 is not godly, don't do it. 50:01 Because some parents will get their kids to 50:03 sell and buy drugs. 50:05 There are some corrupt parents in the world. 50:07 "Obey your parents," the principle, "in the Lord, 50:11 for this is right." 50:13 Colossians 3:20 50:21 I've often thought to myself, how can we say, 50:25 "My Father, which art in heaven," 50:27 if our father on earth is an evil man? 50:31 You know, that messes up a child as they grow up. 50:34 They come to meet God and they think about the 50:36 kind of relationship they had with their dad. 50:38 And because He was evil they can't even call God 50:40 their Father. 50:41 Husbands, be careful how you raise your children. 50:47 If you're a godly man, may you be the first lord they know. 50:53 Your thoughts, your actions, the way you love them, 50:55 the way you guide them, 50:57 let them see God in the way you train them. 50:59 Here's what the Bible says. 51:13 And here's what I've learned. 51:15 When I left the church as a young man 51:17 and I went out into the world, the things that Mama Haynes 51:22 taught me when I was young, 51:24 when she died and I was only 12 years old, 51:27 when I turned 13 and left the church and went out into 51:29 the world, there were certain things I just could not do. 51:32 Because those seeds were so deeply planted in me 51:35 I just couldn't do it. 51:37 I just couldn't do it. 51:40 Because I could her mama saying, "Now, now, now." 51:42 "Train up a child in the way they should go." 51:46 And stop trying to be your child's friend, 51:49 and be their parent. 51:52 Some parents want to be their friend. 51:54 "My daughter and I are good friends." 51:55 That may be right, but if you put friendship above parenting 51:59 then you're in the wrong category. 52:01 Some parents say, "I don't want to get them mad because 52:03 they may not talk to me." 52:05 What! 52:08 Don't let me... Anyway. 52:11 If they need some time to think about who the parent is, 52:14 it may do them well. 52:18 Some kids don't know that the parent is the one that 52:21 gave them life. 52:24 And the reason this is so important to me, 52:26 I'm going to invite Tim to come up, 52:27 the reason why this is so important to me, 52:29 I have two more points, 52:31 the reason why this is so important to me, 52:32 my mom and dad abandoned me at three months old. 52:36 Left me in the home of an Adventist babysitter. 52:38 God allowed my life to begin as a tragedy 52:41 so it could wind up as a blessing. 52:43 I know what it's like to be wanted, 52:46 and I know what it's like to not be wanted. 52:48 So I don't have issues when it comes to fathers and mothers. 52:51 God gave me one that loved me. And praise God for that. 52:55 I've got to get to the end of this. 52:57 Let there be joy in your home daily. 52:59 Every day my wife and I laugh. 53:02 Either at each other or at maybe one of you. 53:07 We find something to laugh about. 53:11 The Bible says... 53:17 Too many sad people. 53:19 Some of you need to go back to your younger years 53:22 and remember when you were young you smiled. 53:24 Amen. 53:25 Stop being so sour and all dried out. 53:30 Stop being so stoic. 53:32 Nothing to smile about. 53:34 Short life. 53:35 Your blood doesn't even pump 53:37 when there's no joy in your home. 53:39 Walking around, just can't even loosen up. 53:44 Anyway. 53:46 And my last point. 53:47 Make Jesus the center of your marriage and your family. 53:50 Amen? 53:52 The Bible makes it very clear. Matthew 22:37-39 54:08 These two young people... 54:12 My wife and I on the left, 1983. 54:14 My wife and I on the right, 2008 when we 54:16 celebrated our 25th anniversary. 54:18 This year is going to be our 35th. 54:21 Let me tell you something. 54:23 We were clueless in the left. 54:26 We are wise in the right. Amen? 54:30 Let me tell you something. 54:31 We're going to do a seminar many months down at a camp meeting 54:34 later on at one of the conferences. 54:36 And it's entitled, To Have and To Hold On. 54:40 Not just to have and to hold, but to have and to hold on. 54:43 I have a beautiful wife. 54:47 But she's going to be the prettiest woman in eternity. 54:51 Because she's the prettiest woman in my life. 54:52 Amen, somebody? 54:55 Tim, give me a minute. 54:57 I've got to tell them a closing story. 55:01 A couple sitting on the couch after 50 years. 55:06 And she says, "Honey, do you remember when you use to 55:10 whisper sweet nothings in my ear?" 55:14 And so in the midst of his recalcitrant television viewing, 55:17 he slid over closer to her and started whispering in her ear. 55:21 Honey, I'm going to do something out of the ordinary. 55:23 Would you come up here, please? Come on up and join me. 55:25 Come on up and join me. 55:27 I keep talking about my lovely wife, 55:29 I want the world to see who that is. 55:32 And then she said, "Remember when you use to, 55:35 when you use to hug me closely?" 55:38 And so then he put his arm around his wife 55:40 and hugged her closely. 55:43 Come on sweetheart. Hugged her closely. 55:46 Isn't she lovely. 55:50 That applies to her. 55:51 And then, you know, he started speaking nicely in her ear 55:55 and hugging her. 55:57 And then she said, "I remember when you use to 55:59 nibble on my ear." 56:01 And he got up and ran. 56:04 And she said, "Where are you going?" 56:06 He said, "I'm going to get my teeth. 56:07 I'll be right back." 56:14 The woman that God gave to me is the woman I love 56:16 to this very day. 56:18 Tim is going to play a song, As For Me and My House. 56:22 As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. 56:25 Are there husbands and wives here today? 56:26 I'm talking to the viewing audience. 56:29 If the Lord has given you a spouse, a husband, 56:33 God has given you a wife, 56:35 wife, God has given you a husband, 56:36 love that man as if he's the only man on the earth. 56:41 Husband, love that wife as if she's the 56:44 only woman on the earth. 56:45 Because when you do it the way that God intends, 56:48 eternity will prove to be an eternal blessing. 56:51 And this world will become the blessing that God 56:53 always intended it to be. 56:55 May the declaration be, "As for me and my house, 56:58 we will serve the Lord." 57:00 I'm going to challenge you there. 57:01 But Tim, just sing that chorus for us together. 57:04 ~ We stand here together... 57:06 Husbands and wives, please stand. 57:08 ...as a family; we join hands together 57:15 lifting praises to our Father above 57:22 for sending His Son. 57:26 God bless you. Until we see you again. |
Revised 2018-09-18