Participants:
Series Code: PUP
Program Code: PUP000002A
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00:01 Hey, you guys, get in here, let's have family worship.
00:04 I'm in a hurry this morning, I got a meeting. 00:06 Justina, Jerry, George, honey, get in here. 00:09 Hello! 00:12 Coming. I said get in here. 00:15 Can we do a rap for devotion? 00:17 I can rap Lil Wayne and just skip the cuss words, 00:20 he uses the word God in it. 00:22 Cuss words? Lil Wayne? 00:23 Honey, I don't even think, 00:25 I want you to listen to anything like that. 00:26 And no, we're not doing that for worship. 00:28 Can't we eat breakfast first? You know what? 00:30 Why don't you all go on without me? 00:32 I did worship in the shower yesterday. 00:34 I don't need this. 00:35 Look, I'm trying to have worship like the pastors say, 00:38 we need to do everything single day. 00:40 You call a piece of a song 00:42 and a prayer in the shower worship? 00:43 I don't think so. 00:45 Oh, yeah, it is. 00:46 I already did worship. 00:47 I did worship while I was brushing my teeth, 00:50 I don't have time for this. 00:51 Excuse me! 00:52 I have a test tomorrow. 00:54 Why didn't you study yesterday? 00:55 Because I didn't have time at all. 00:58 Help me, Holy Ghost. 01:01 We're going to have worship this morning 01:03 and you all are going to participate. 01:04 And if you have been participating in the past, 01:06 you would already have the highest score. 01:08 I don't have time for this, I need to study. 01:10 Excuse me, where are you going? 01:11 Get back over here and have a seat. 01:13 And we're going to pray about that bad attitude of yours 01:15 before we leave this morning. 01:16 It's so boring doing family devotion. 01:19 Okay, look, I got to get out of here. 01:21 So the scripture today is Ephesians 5:22, 01:25 "Wife, submit to your husband, as unto the Lord." 01:29 When was the last time 01:30 you submitted unto me and to the Lord? 01:32 Excuse me! 01:33 Excuse me, but you left out the best part of that. 01:35 It says, "Husbands, love your wives 01:38 as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for it." 01:41 What have you done for me lately? 01:42 Have you died for me? I don't think so. 01:44 Can we get on with this? Okay. 01:46 All right, all right, testimony time. 01:48 Who's first? Jerry, you first. 01:50 Give me a testimony, what are you thankful for? 01:52 And don't say nothing or nobody. 01:54 I'm thankful, I'm very thankful for the new Xbox 01:57 I'm going to get after you get paid, Dad. 01:59 No, no, no, you don't need to be thankful for that. 02:01 Get thankful for something else. 02:03 I'm thankful for waking up this morning, 02:05 and I'll be even more thankful when we have breakfast. 02:08 You know what? 02:10 I'm thankful that I have a really good job 02:12 'cause my wife spends all of my money up. 02:14 Excuse me, but I work. 02:17 So I'm thankful that God has given me patience 02:20 with irritating people. 02:21 Okay, okay. 02:23 One word sentence prayers. 02:25 Come on. 02:26 Dear Heavenly Father Lord, thank You for this day. 02:29 Thank You for keeping us. 02:30 Thank You for... Uh-huh. 02:32 Amen. 02:34 Lord, continuing in prayer. 02:35 Help my husband to be more generous 02:38 and not so cheap, cheap, cheap! 02:41 Dear Jesus, please pretty 02:44 please with the two cherries on top, 02:47 keep dad working 02:49 so he and Mom can stop fighting about money. 02:51 So he can buy me that Xbox. 02:52 Lord, Lord, thank You for our family. 02:55 Please help my wife not to spend any money today. 02:58 Please help my daughter, 02:59 Lord Jesus, to do what we ask her to do. 03:01 Excuse you! 03:02 Lord, please help my son 03:03 to take a shower every now and then. 03:05 Really, Dad? 03:06 Please help my wife, Lord. She just needs to... 03:08 Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay, okay. 03:10 Let's not go there. Keep them safe. 03:11 Let's not go there. Keep them safe. Amen. 03:12 Amen. Amen. 03:54 Thanks for letting us put this equipment in your home 03:57 so that we can tape and capture what's going on in the family. 04:01 So tell me what's going on now? 04:03 These kids are still whining out doing worship, 04:05 they're disrespectful. 04:06 They think it's a waste of time. 04:08 And they take it as a joke. 04:09 You know, one time my son came to worship, 04:10 and he brought a can of aerosol hairspray and a lighter, 04:13 and he said, "Let's talk about hellfire." 04:15 And the next thing we knew 04:16 a big ball of fire was in the room. 04:17 It was a mess. It was a mess. 04:19 Is that right? You know, I can't believe it. 04:21 It sounds like family devotion's 04:23 a little out of control. 04:24 Yes, it is. Yes, it is. 04:26 Well, I want to ask you after watching the video, 04:29 did you see anything that you may be doing 04:31 that contributes to their lack of interest? 04:34 Well, I was going back and forth. 04:36 Sure, it doesn't help. 04:38 You know, when I looked at it, 04:39 I mean, you know, I never saw myself like that. 04:41 When I looked at it, it was just very negative. 04:44 You know, the whole tone 04:45 and the atmosphere was very negative. 04:46 And that's not what I'm trying to create, 04:48 I mean, you know, I want my children 04:49 to have their own relationship with the Lord. 04:52 I think praying for each other and about each other, 04:55 we didn't do prayer right at all. 04:56 It was very negative. 04:57 It was like some beating each other 04:59 over the head with prayer. 05:00 Yeah, that was horrible. 05:02 Yes. 05:03 So how long do you think you've been doing that? 05:06 Probably for a while. 05:07 Yeah, I mean... 05:09 You know, you don't really see yourself 05:11 until you see yourself and then, you know... 05:13 Also this tape, this video was pretty good for you, all right? 05:16 It's very helpful. Yeah. Yes and no. 05:18 Yeah. 05:19 Why no? 05:21 Because it just looked, it was terrible. 05:22 I didn't think I acted like that 05:24 but when I saw myself, I really didn't like myself. 05:27 Okay. So do you act this way outside of family devotion? 05:31 Are you doing it there too? Probably. 05:34 I mean, I can't really say 05:35 'cause again you're not seeing yourself, 05:37 but it seems typical, you know? 05:39 So let me ask you does she act that way outside of devotion. 05:42 Yes, she does. 05:44 You didn't have to say that so quick. 05:46 Express to her what she's doing outside of devotion. 05:49 Well, blaming me for things in front of them 05:51 and arguing with me, 05:53 which you take that back into our bedroom, 05:54 not in front of the whole house. 05:56 Well, you started most of the time. 05:57 Well, she asked me. 05:59 Right. I did. So what about him? 06:01 Is he that way? Yes, he is. 06:03 You know, he comes in... 06:05 And, you know, I really want him to be lead out 06:07 and be the leader in the home 06:08 and then a lot of times, he won't say anything, 06:10 he'll go off into his corner or his television, remote, 06:12 and everything and do what he wants to do. 06:14 And then the house is falling apart around him, and nothing. 06:17 yeah, I kind of picked it up in the video 06:19 a little bit of aloofness. 06:20 When you said, you did your devotion 06:22 in the shower yesterday a little bit... 06:24 Ain't that crazy? 06:26 That's the craziest thing I ever heard. 06:27 But it was the time that I just had prayer, I had prayer there, 06:29 and it was my worship for the morning. 06:31 I was running late. Okay. 06:32 All right, I mean... 06:34 Well, you need to get up early, you set the alarm and then... 06:35 Well, I was running late. 06:37 You set the alarm, and you turn it off 06:38 five or six different times. 06:39 Well, let's go to the children. 06:41 How do you think this affect the children, 06:43 the bickering in the family devotion, 06:45 the aloofness in family devotion, 06:47 the howling and screaming in family? 06:49 How is that affecting them? 06:51 They don't want to be around us, 06:54 they don't want to participate, 06:55 you know, they're disrespectful, 06:57 they're disobedient. 06:58 I think they've learned their disrespect 07:00 from how we disrespect each other. 07:01 Oh, okay. Wow, that's a lot of insight. 07:03 Yeah. 07:05 Now after looking at that video. 07:06 Okay. 07:08 So in general they're disrespectful to you? 07:10 General? Yes. 07:12 So it's not just family devotion? 07:13 No. No. 07:14 Oh, okay. No. 07:16 So are the children the only ones 07:18 that are disrespectful in family devotion? 07:20 No. No. 07:21 I mean, you heard him on that tape, 07:22 he came down and saying he had devotion in the shower. 07:24 What is that? 07:26 I mean, how do we get the family together 07:27 when he's talking about he had it in his shower? 07:29 Well, I was praying in the shower. 07:30 So I had my prayer, 07:31 and I was rushing, and I needed to go. 07:33 Okay. So... 07:35 But that's crazy. 07:36 I mean, if we're going to have family worship, 07:37 we're going to have family worship. 07:39 We should have got up earlier. That was the problem. 07:40 No, you should have got up earlier. 07:42 We were all running late. 07:43 That was the issue. 07:44 So I took up on myself. 07:46 Don't put it on me. You should have got up earlier. 07:47 I took up on myself to have prayer in the shower. 07:48 You should have called family worship. 07:50 This is your responsibility anyway. 07:51 Okay, so this has happened often? 07:54 Yeah. She's always pushing and pulling. 07:55 She wants it her way all the time. 07:57 It's not my way. It's the Lord's way. 07:59 We should be having worship 08:01 every morning with the children. 08:02 She calls her way the Lord's way. 08:03 It is her way. Okay. 08:05 So let's take a look at the children 08:07 and how this may be affecting them, this bickering. 08:11 So how do you think this affect them? 08:12 They're disrespectful. 08:14 She doesn't care where she is, 08:15 where we are in the house when she comes at me. 08:17 What you mean I don't care? You don't care. 08:19 We could all be in the kitchen, everybody is in the kitchen, 08:20 and she just comes right at me. 08:22 She says leave that in the bedroom somewhere, 08:24 don't come out in front of them, 08:26 they see all this stuff coming from her. 08:28 No, it's not just coming from me, it's coming from you, 08:30 you started most of the time. 08:32 No. 08:33 Have you guys tried talking about this calmly together? 08:36 No, if I try to talk to her about something, 08:38 she comes, she snaps at me, 08:40 and then I don't want to hear it anymore. 08:41 So I leave her alone. 08:43 He never listens. He never listens. 08:44 Were you aware that he felt this way 08:46 about your discussing issue? 08:49 Oh, she knows. 08:50 She knows, I tell her all the time. 08:52 Okay. 08:53 Well, excuse me, but I just thought you're saying, 08:55 you had not actually spoken to her calmly about this. 08:58 Well, it might not have been calmly. 08:59 He hasn't. Okay. 09:01 You know that... You see how he acts. 09:03 You know that when people are angry, 09:05 you usually do just stop listening. 09:08 So maybe we can try a listening exercise just right now, 09:11 just something, calm down... 09:13 That's a very good thing you just did, 09:14 that deep breath, although, 09:16 I don't think that deep breath meant what I... 09:18 No, I didn't. 09:20 Okay. Let's do it like this. 09:21 Let's breathe in, breathe in. 09:24 Let your shoulders drop and breathe out. 09:26 Okay, now I want you to hear what he's saying, 09:28 I want you to lower your voice. 09:30 Tell her how you're feeling 09:32 when she's coming at you in front of the kids. 09:35 Well, first of all, I don't need to... 09:36 I say one question. A question? 09:38 Okay, how do you feel when she's coming at you? 09:41 I feel degraded, disrespected. 09:44 I don't feel like the man or the leader of the home. 09:47 Okay. 09:48 So did you hear him? 09:51 Yes, I heard him. What did he say? 09:53 He said he doesn't feel like the man. 09:55 But he said more than that. 09:57 What else did he say? 09:59 He said he feels disrespected. 10:01 Okay. And what else? 10:04 I don't know what else. Degraded! 10:05 Excuse me, just say it again in the nice calm tone. 10:07 Sorry. I'm sorry. 10:09 Degraded. 10:10 Could you say the whole sentence in a calm way? 10:12 I feel degraded. 10:14 But how to... You know what? 10:15 See, I don't understand that 10:17 because if I don't call worship, 10:18 then it doesn't get done. 10:20 He doesn't call it. 10:21 It's not that you're calling worship that's the problem. 10:24 I think he's saying how you call worship 10:27 and how you speak to him. 10:28 That's a problem for him. 10:30 He feels degraded. 10:31 Well, he knows every morning that we should have worship. 10:35 He can call it, but he just never does. 10:37 Okay. And so you choose to call it, right? 10:41 Yes. 10:43 Okay. So it's a choice you make. 10:44 Yes. 10:45 Now he's saying, you've made a choice, 10:48 and the way you choose to carry out your decision 10:52 makes him feel degraded. 10:56 But it's not limited to that. 10:58 Okay, so he can just do it. 10:59 He can do it. 11:01 He can make that choice. 11:04 And you have to accept his choice. 11:06 Yes, I don't have a problem with that. 11:07 So the question from me to you is, 11:11 do you understand what it feels like to be degraded? 11:15 Yes. Okay. 11:16 All the time. 11:17 So now I want to switch this over. 11:20 And I'm going to ask you to speak to him calmly 11:26 about what you are feeling. 11:29 One issue concerning devotion. 11:35 Okay. 11:37 I really want us to have a better relationship 11:41 with the Lord. 11:42 And I really need you to man up and call worship. 11:47 Excuse me, could you say that in a kinder way? 11:50 And what I will like from you. 11:55 Could you do that? 11:58 Okay. 11:59 Sweetheart... That's nice. 12:02 Very kind. Keep going. 12:06 Can you be the worship leader in our home? 12:09 Excuse me, "Will you be the worship leader?" 12:12 He can do it, but is he willing to do it. 12:15 Oh. 12:18 Honey bunches of oats, 12:21 will you be the worship leader in our home? 12:24 Okay, now let me ask you say this to you. 12:26 When you say that to him now you relinquish power 12:30 or how it's going to be done. 12:33 I have no problem with that. 12:34 Okay, so that means that if he chooses 12:36 not to do devotion in the morning, 12:38 which may be a good idea or not a good idea, 12:41 you're going to accept that. 12:44 Otherwise, if this particular thing is very important, 12:49 that may be the devotion that you continue... 12:53 So what about if he chooses not to do it at all 12:55 and the whole day goes by? 12:57 Because the whole point we had this is to put the Lord 13:00 in front of us at the beginning of the day. 13:01 Her way. Her way. 13:02 Understood. No. 13:04 I understand that. 13:05 That's about giving the Lord the first part of your day, 13:07 just like you give your tithe and offering, 13:08 give the Lord the first part. 13:09 Okay. That's true. 13:11 And that's a good idea. 13:13 If we can look at good, better, and best, okay, 13:17 it would be best for everyone 13:19 to do family devotion in the morning. 13:22 I agree with that. 13:23 I really believe that. 13:25 But it may happen that it doesn't get done. 13:30 The question is can you live like that. 13:33 Not every day, but it may happen that way sometimes. 13:37 Well, if he would just get up. 13:38 Well, but you can still choose to do to lead out. 13:43 Do you think it's a good idea for both of us 13:45 to come together before we even leave out the bedroom? 13:48 Come together on one accord 13:50 and then we go to the children together 13:52 'cause she does it her way and then she fusses at me 13:55 because I complain about the way she did it. 13:57 Okay, well, you know what, I like that, 13:59 which you're saying to me is it a good idea for us 14:03 to pray together before we leave the bedroom. 14:06 What do you think about that? Yeah, I agree with that. 14:09 And that's a suggestion from your husband 14:11 who wants to lead out, 14:12 so he's going to start it in the bedroom. 14:14 I agree with that. Excellent idea. 14:16 So you're going to have it every morning, 14:17 you're going to call it every morning? 14:19 Well, you know what, if he calls it, 14:22 it's a good thing. 14:24 But if he doesn't, I can call it, right? 14:25 Yes. 14:26 But how you call it, 14:28 it's not that you're calling that's a problem 14:30 but if you're going to say, "Oh, yeah, pray!" 14:34 What good does a prayer do, right? 14:37 Well, that's because they get on my nerves. 14:39 You know, it could just be simple, it could be short, 14:42 it could be sweet, 14:44 but it's like pulling teeth and get them to come. 14:46 Okay. Well, let's lower all of that energy. 14:50 Lower all of that. 14:52 Let's come to the table 14:53 with a nice, clean slate which releases... 14:58 Let's talk about strategies 14:59 so that they won't get on your nerves 15:02 because I believe devotion time is really a great time. 15:06 I agree with you completely on that. 15:08 And so we have to come together calmly, 15:13 so pay attention to how you're feeling. 15:16 If you're expecting people to fight up against you, 15:19 you're coming in with your dukes loaded, 15:21 and I'm ready to have family devotion. 15:24 You know, we're not coming like that. 15:26 And you know what else? 15:28 The Holy Spirit can't work with our minds 15:30 if we're set on exactly 15:33 how family devotion should be done, 15:35 the minute it is supposed to be done. 15:37 We have to be a little bit more open 15:39 and receptive to allow the Spirit of God 15:42 to do some work in this. 15:44 What do you think about that? 15:45 I agree with that. I agree with that. 15:47 I agree. I agree with that. 15:48 So it's how we do it. 15:49 I think that's going to be really important. 15:52 You do have children. 15:54 So they probably don't really understand testimonies, 15:58 they probably really don't understand that. 16:00 Prayer, they need to be encouraged 16:04 to have individual prayer first. 16:07 They can do any of their big ones 16:08 when you're doing yours, 16:09 and we are not in control of that. 16:11 Okay, it can be a one sentence prayer or almost... 16:14 Yeah, I mean, I want them to pray more. 16:15 Okay. Yeah, on their own. 16:17 That's part of developing 16:18 their own relationship with the Lord. 16:20 Very good. So we're going to allow them to do that. 16:22 Okay. 16:24 Could you take out your pens 16:25 as we're talking about these strategies? 16:26 Okay. Okay. 16:28 So we want them to pray for themselves. 16:30 Okay. Okay. 16:32 We want to have couple prayer in your bedroom. 16:34 Okay. 16:37 And then you guys can go and pick up 16:39 music from the store. 16:42 Well, we can get that off the internet. 16:43 I mean, we can download... 16:45 So you're going to buy some off the internet? 16:46 Yes. Okay. 16:48 And then your final one is, this is really important, 16:53 stop while they're still enjoying family devotion. 16:56 And the reason I say that is because a pattern has been set 17:00 where the children are coming 17:03 to family devotion angry already 17:05 because they already know what's going to happen. 17:07 So we want to switch that pattern up. 17:09 So we want to make family devotion 17:10 very short, very sweet, 17:12 you can even incorporate a nice little trinket 17:15 or something every now and then. 17:18 We want them say, "Family devotion's over already?" 17:22 And when we see that we have something, okay? 17:25 So when you say trinket, you mean like gifts, like... 17:29 You can do a little gift if you want to, 17:30 it could be new music. 17:32 It could be anything, you know, it could be breakfast today. 17:36 So just making it family devotion 17:39 more interesting for them and for yourselves, okay? 17:42 Okay. Okay. 17:43 All right, so we're out of time. 17:45 So next week let's come back 17:47 and let's see put something in place, 17:49 especially the prayer, I think that's very important. 17:51 In fact, let us have a word of prayer 17:53 before we leave, okay? 17:55 Okay. So let's pray right now. 17:59 Most Honorable Father, 18:00 we thank You so much for the gift of family devotion, 18:03 we thank You for each other. 18:04 And, Lord, we ask that You will heal this family 18:07 that You call them to have peace 18:09 and gratitude and graciousness towards each other 18:12 and to glorify You in all that they do, 18:14 in Jesus' name we pray and praise You always. 18:16 Amen. Amen. 18:18 Amen. You guys have a great day. 18:19 All right. 18:21 And I look forward to seeing you next week. 18:22 All right, thank you. Thank you. 18:25 So how are you doing? Fine. 18:27 We're doing much better. 18:29 You guys seem to be much more calm today 18:30 than you were when I first saw you. 18:33 We are. We are. Thanks to you. 18:34 You know, we put some of your strategies into practice. 18:36 Oh, good, good. 18:37 You know, we started praying, 18:39 before worship he and I together and that... 18:41 You have no idea the difference that that made. 18:43 It makes a big difference. 18:45 Yeah. It did. It really did. 18:46 We went in together 18:47 with the same idea as a same tone. 18:50 She was in on her tone and my tone was different, 18:53 we did it together. 18:54 He started calling worship. 18:56 Oh, good, good, good. 18:59 So did you stand at the bottom of the steps and say, 19:01 "It's time for worship!" 19:02 No, no. 19:03 We did it a whole different way. 19:05 We took your suggestion, 19:06 and we went into the children's rooms. 19:07 Oh, good. You know? 19:09 And just kind of nudged them awake, 19:10 you know, and said, you know, "Hey, let's have worship." 19:14 Asked if they had any ideas of what they want to bring, 19:17 we made it shorter. 19:18 That helped a lot. 19:20 Good. Good. 19:21 Well, I wanted to say thank you again for allowing us 19:24 to put a camera in your home 19:25 so that we could see 19:27 how the strategies were working for you. 19:29 So let's take a look at the video 19:31 and see what happened. 19:32 Okay. Okay. 19:34 Let's have family worship before we get out of here 19:36 and get started on our day. 19:37 I have a testimony. 19:39 I have one too. 19:40 Oh, great. That's great. 19:41 So we open with prayer 19:43 and then we can hear the testimonies. 19:44 How about that? Okay. 19:46 Let's bow our heads. 19:47 Dear Lord Jesus, we bow thanking You and praising You 19:50 for all the wonderful things You've done for us. 19:53 Send Your Holy Spirit to be with us 19:54 as we worship You today in Jesus' name we pray. 19:56 Amen. Amen. 19:58 So Justina, honey, what's your testimony? 20:00 Well, last week, I had my spelling test. 20:03 And I prayed, and I studied for this test. 20:07 And when she gave them back to us, 20:08 I realized I didn't get a higher score than Jaden, 20:12 but I tried my best. 20:13 Well, weren't you trying to get a better score than her? 20:16 Yeah, but I realized that it didn't really matter 20:19 because I beat my personal best. 20:21 You go, girl. I'm proud of you. 20:23 That's great. That is great. 20:25 It's all about doing your best, 20:26 and you didn't worry about competing with anybody else. 20:29 You know, that reminds me of Philippians 4:13, 20:33 "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." 20:37 We need to remember that all day today. 20:39 Just keep it in your mind all day. 20:41 Jerry, what's your testimony? 20:43 I saved a little kid from being bullied yesterday. 20:46 Oh, wow. 20:47 One of my friends is messing with a little kid, 20:50 and I told him that he was being a coward 20:52 by messing with little kids. 20:54 So I told him to come on 20:56 and play ball with us and leave the little kids alone. 20:58 Oh, good. Honey, that was great. 21:01 Good job, Jerry. 21:02 It took a lot of courage 21:04 to stand up to your friend like that 21:05 and to take up for that little kid. 21:08 So let's close out in prayer. 21:10 Okay. And I'll say a prayer. 21:11 All right. 21:12 Dear kind gracious loving heavenly Father, 21:14 God, we thank You so much for this family, Lord. 21:16 And we thank You for the blessings 21:17 that You have given to us. 21:19 And now as we go out and start our day, 21:21 we ask for the presence of Your Holy Spirit to go before us 21:24 and to protect us and keep us safe 21:26 in Jesus' name we pray. 21:27 Amen. Amen. 21:29 So let's get ready, get out of here, 21:30 but before we go, what do we always try to do 21:32 when we go out into the world every day? 21:35 Tell the world about Jesus 21:39 Tell them about His love 21:43 Tell the world about Jesus 21:48 Tell them about His love 21:51 You guys did a great job. 21:54 Now I can probably guess which strategies were your favorite, 21:57 but tell me which ones were your favorite? 21:59 Well, you know what, we found music. 22:01 You heard us, we found music 22:02 that we could sing as a family together. 22:05 Oh, that was better than actually buying music. 22:07 Yes, it was. 22:08 But we allowed them to also bring their stories, 22:11 things that were important to them. 22:13 Yes. And so they were included. 22:15 So we like that. 22:17 And things that made them kind of shine, you know? 22:20 And, I mean to tell you I was so proud of my kids. 22:23 You know, that they were learning some life lessons 22:26 and then sharing them with us in worship. 22:28 It was great. 22:29 They were totally different than before. 22:30 Okay. Okay. 22:32 Now I see some changes in the children. 22:33 But do you see changes in them? 22:34 What kind of changes are you seeing? 22:36 Well, they were calm, they were involved, 22:39 before they would just recluse themselves 22:42 and didn't want to be even in the room with us. 22:45 And they seem more self-confident 22:46 because we've been allowing them to take charge. 22:49 Yes. 22:50 You know, and they look forward to worship. 22:52 Sometimes they're like, "Worship is over already?" 22:54 Can you believe that? Yes. 22:55 That is great. 22:57 Now I have one question for you. 22:58 Are you seeing these same changes 23:00 outside of family devotion? 23:02 Yes, they're more obedient. 23:04 Oh, really? 23:06 They are. They're more obedient. 23:08 I know you're happy about that. 23:09 They actually finished their chores 23:10 that we've asked them to do, 23:12 without any arguing or bickering. 23:13 They're more respectful. 23:15 You know, the kids used to say, 23:17 "Well, when you respect us, we'll respect you." 23:19 Well, I thought that was nonsense. 23:20 Right. But there's something to that. 23:22 You know, if you treat your children as human beings, 23:25 children of God, you know, they change. 23:28 And we're still working on some things, 23:30 everything is not just perfect. 23:31 But we're still working on some things, 23:33 but it's a big change from before. 23:36 And he led out, did you notice that? 23:37 He led out. I did. 23:39 And you seem to be just as happy. 23:41 I was. 23:43 So I do want to know what things 23:44 are you still working on. 23:46 Well, when I see something that I don't like, I've learned... 23:50 You taught me last time to take a deep breath and just stop. 23:55 And then I could think a little bit better 23:56 about what my response should be instead of just reacting. 24:00 And, you know, like before, 24:02 you know, when they said 24:03 something crazy or a whining out, 24:05 I just, you know, would add them 24:07 but now it's like, okay, let's take a different approach 24:10 and just kind of leave them from that 24:12 to where I want them to be. 24:14 Yeah, so we call that like a hook. 24:15 Sometimes they could hook you, they know... 24:18 Your son knows you don't like rap music, 24:20 so he's going to come in and say, 24:22 "Oh, I want to sing rap music." 24:24 And you're going to get out of control, 24:26 the dad is going to get out of control. 24:28 And they're controlling your whole family devotion. 24:32 But this way, stepping back, thinking about it, 24:36 and some stuff you can just bypass, 24:37 you don't even have to say anything about it, it's just... 24:39 All right, did you notice 24:40 we had a little bit harmony going there... 24:42 I heard that. I heard that. 24:43 I was thinking maybe you're going to get a record. 24:46 Go to family choir. 24:47 So only for family devotion, okay. 24:50 So how did it... 24:51 Making those changes 24:53 change your relationship with each other? 24:55 Well, we're more respectful of each other too. 24:56 We don't fuss. Yeah. 24:59 We don't fuss as much. 25:01 There's stuff that's still irritates us. 25:03 I think we take a different approach. 25:06 I don't think we're stressed out with each other, 25:08 you know, which changes 25:10 the whole tone of the house too. 25:12 Right. 25:13 So you had some very specific ideas about 25:17 how family worship should be done 25:19 and when it should be done. 25:20 What's it like making all these big changes? 25:23 You know what, for real, I really didn't care. 25:26 It didn't have to be my way. 25:28 I just knew that it was important 25:30 to bring the family together to do that. 25:32 And actually, I'm perfectly fine 25:34 with my husband leading out 25:36 or the kids bringing their ideas. 25:37 You know, sometimes we have to kind of, 25:39 you know, channel them a little bit, 25:41 but I'm perfectly fine with that. 25:43 I really am. 25:44 If you could give another family 25:46 who is having the same problems 25:49 one strategy that they need to do 25:51 to help get back on track, 25:53 which one would you choose? 25:55 Just one. 25:56 I would say pray more and be led by the Holy Spirit. 26:00 Oh, I agree with that. Yeah. 26:01 'Cause the Holy Spirit knows exactly how to approach them 26:05 and sometimes we do it the wrong way, 26:07 many times we do it the wrong way. 26:09 So let the Lord lead. 26:11 And so now I have advanced strategies 26:13 for my advanced families. 26:14 Oh, my goodness, we've graduated. 26:15 You have graduated. 26:17 Okay, so the first thing I want you to do 26:18 is do the unexpected sometimes in family devotion. 26:21 Oh, okay. Okay. 26:23 So what would be unexpected for your children? 26:27 Well, I have to pay a little bit more attention to them 26:29 and find out what they like and then bring that to worship. 26:32 Okay. 26:33 Yeah, and maybe just to have a big brunch set out for them. 26:36 I was thinking that, that would be cool. 26:38 Okay. It would be. 26:40 Yeah. Right. Okay. 26:41 And simple mistakes, we want to smile about. 26:43 Okay. Okay. 26:44 Okay, we don't have to issue 26:46 a punishment for a simple mistake 26:47 or correct every mistake, okay? 26:48 Okay, so like don't fight every battle. 26:50 Every battle do not need to be fought. 26:52 Okay, that's what how I think. 26:54 And then refuse to get hooked into bad communication. 26:58 So they may try to revert and go back to the old ways, 27:02 refuse to do it, okay, as far as possible. 27:05 All right, so we're going to have a very quick prayer 27:08 and then we're going to close out, okay? 27:10 All right, we'll just stay where we are. 27:13 Most honorable Father, 27:14 we thank You for Your healing power in this family. 27:16 We thank You that family devotion 27:18 has straightened out so many things 27:19 and that the power of prayer 27:21 has prevailed in this situation. 27:22 Thank You, and we praise Your holy name 27:24 for Your goodness, amen. 27:26 Amen. Amen. 27:27 So we'll see you next week. 27:28 All right. Thank you so much. 27:30 All right. 27:33 Often parents believe 27:34 that they are teaching children to love God, 27:37 but what are they really teaching their children? 27:39 Unintentionally, children are being taught 27:41 that there isn't enough time for God. 27:44 They are being taught that the daily routine 27:46 is more important than God. 27:48 It's easy to get off track 27:50 and teach something that you aren't intending to teach. 27:53 It's important to pay attention 27:55 to your behavior concerning family devotion 27:58 and what you are really teaching 27:59 your children about God 28:01 because it affects your child in this life 28:04 and the life to come. 28:05 So remember, family devotion can be fun and interesting, 28:10 make it short and leave the child wanting more. 28:13 And most importantly, let the children feel your love 28:16 so they would learn to love the Lord. |
Revised 2018-07-03