Series Code: PUP
Program Code: PUP000002A
00:01 Hey, you guys, get in here, let's have family worship.
00:04 I'm in a hurry this morning, I got a meeting.
00:06 Justina, Jerry, George, honey, get in here.
00:12 Coming. I said get in here.
00:15 Can we do a rap for devotion?
00:17 I can rap Lil Wayne and just skip the cuss words,
00:20 he uses the word God in it.
00:22 Cuss words? Lil Wayne?
00:23 Honey, I don't even think,
00:25 I want you to listen to anything like that.
00:26 And no, we're not doing that for worship.
00:28 Can't we eat breakfast first? You know what?
00:30 Why don't you all go on without me?
00:32 I did worship in the shower yesterday.
00:34 I don't need this.
00:35 Look, I'm trying to have worship like the pastors say,
00:38 we need to do everything single day.
00:40 You call a piece of a song
00:42 and a prayer in the shower worship?
00:43 I don't think so.
00:45 Oh, yeah, it is.
00:46 I already did worship.
00:47 I did worship while I was brushing my teeth,
00:50 I don't have time for this.
00:51 Excuse me!
00:52 I have a test tomorrow.
00:54 Why didn't you study yesterday?
00:55 Because I didn't have time at all.
00:58 Help me, Holy Ghost.
01:01 We're going to have worship this morning
01:03 and you all are going to participate.
01:04 And if you have been participating in the past,
01:06 you would already have the highest score.
01:08 I don't have time for this, I need to study.
01:10 Excuse me, where are you going?
01:11 Get back over here and have a seat.
01:13 And we're going to pray about that bad attitude of yours
01:15 before we leave this morning.
01:16 It's so boring doing family devotion.
01:19 Okay, look, I got to get out of here.
01:21 So the scripture today is Ephesians 5:22,
01:25 "Wife, submit to your husband, as unto the Lord."
01:29 When was the last time
01:30 you submitted unto me and to the Lord?
01:32 Excuse me!
01:33 Excuse me, but you left out the best part of that.
01:35 It says, "Husbands, love your wives
01:38 as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for it."
01:41 What have you done for me lately?
01:42 Have you died for me? I don't think so.
01:44 Can we get on with this? Okay.
01:46 All right, all right, testimony time.
01:48 Who's first? Jerry, you first.
01:50 Give me a testimony, what are you thankful for?
01:52 And don't say nothing or nobody.
01:54 I'm thankful, I'm very thankful for the new Xbox
01:57 I'm going to get after you get paid, Dad.
01:59 No, no, no, you don't need to be thankful for that.
02:01 Get thankful for something else.
02:03 I'm thankful for waking up this morning,
02:05 and I'll be even more thankful when we have breakfast.
02:08 You know what?
02:10 I'm thankful that I have a really good job
02:12 'cause my wife spends all of my money up.
02:14 Excuse me, but I work.
02:17 So I'm thankful that God has given me patience
02:20 with irritating people.
02:21 Okay, okay.
02:23 One word sentence prayers.
02:25 Come on.
02:26 Dear Heavenly Father Lord, thank You for this day.
02:29 Thank You for keeping us.
02:30 Thank You for... Uh-huh.
02:34 Lord, continuing in prayer.
02:35 Help my husband to be more generous
02:38 and not so cheap, cheap, cheap!
02:41 Dear Jesus, please pretty
02:44 please with the two cherries on top,
02:47 keep dad working
02:49 so he and Mom can stop fighting about money.
02:51 So he can buy me that Xbox.
02:52 Lord, Lord, thank You for our family.
02:55 Please help my wife not to spend any money today.
02:58 Please help my daughter,
02:59 Lord Jesus, to do what we ask her to do.
03:01 Excuse you!
03:02 Lord, please help my son
03:03 to take a shower every now and then.
03:05 Really, Dad?
03:06 Please help my wife, Lord. She just needs to...
03:08 Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay, okay.
03:10 Let's not go there. Keep them safe.
03:11 Let's not go there. Keep them safe. Amen.
03:12 Amen. Amen.
03:54 Thanks for letting us put this equipment in your home
03:57 so that we can tape and capture what's going on in the family.
04:01 So tell me what's going on now?
04:03 These kids are still whining out doing worship,
04:05 they're disrespectful.
04:06 They think it's a waste of time.
04:08 And they take it as a joke.
04:09 You know, one time my son came to worship,
04:10 and he brought a can of aerosol hairspray and a lighter,
04:13 and he said, "Let's talk about hellfire."
04:15 And the next thing we knew
04:16 a big ball of fire was in the room.
04:17 It was a mess. It was a mess.
04:19 Is that right? You know, I can't believe it.
04:21 It sounds like family devotion's
04:23 a little out of control.
04:24 Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
04:26 Well, I want to ask you after watching the video,
04:29 did you see anything that you may be doing
04:31 that contributes to their lack of interest?
04:34 Well, I was going back and forth.
04:36 Sure, it doesn't help.
04:38 You know, when I looked at it,
04:39 I mean, you know, I never saw myself like that.
04:41 When I looked at it, it was just very negative.
04:44 You know, the whole tone
04:45 and the atmosphere was very negative.
04:46 And that's not what I'm trying to create,
04:48 I mean, you know, I want my children
04:49 to have their own relationship with the Lord.
04:52 I think praying for each other and about each other,
04:55 we didn't do prayer right at all.
04:56 It was very negative.
04:57 It was like some beating each other
04:59 over the head with prayer.
05:00 Yeah, that was horrible.
05:03 So how long do you think you've been doing that?
05:06 Probably for a while.
05:07 Yeah, I mean...
05:09 You know, you don't really see yourself
05:11 until you see yourself and then, you know...
05:13 Also this tape, this video was pretty good for you, all right?
05:16 It's very helpful. Yeah. Yes and no.
05:19 Why no?
05:21 Because it just looked, it was terrible.
05:22 I didn't think I acted like that
05:24 but when I saw myself, I really didn't like myself.
05:27 Okay. So do you act this way outside of family devotion?
05:31 Are you doing it there too? Probably.
05:34 I mean, I can't really say
05:35 'cause again you're not seeing yourself,
05:37 but it seems typical, you know?
05:39 So let me ask you does she act that way outside of devotion.
05:42 Yes, she does.
05:44 You didn't have to say that so quick.
05:46 Express to her what she's doing outside of devotion.
05:49 Well, blaming me for things in front of them
05:51 and arguing with me,
05:53 which you take that back into our bedroom,
05:54 not in front of the whole house.
05:56 Well, you started most of the time.
05:57 Well, she asked me.
05:59 Right. I did. So what about him?
06:01 Is he that way? Yes, he is.
06:03 You know, he comes in...
06:05 And, you know, I really want him to be lead out
06:07 and be the leader in the home
06:08 and then a lot of times, he won't say anything,
06:10 he'll go off into his corner or his television, remote,
06:12 and everything and do what he wants to do.
06:14 And then the house is falling apart around him, and nothing.
06:17 yeah, I kind of picked it up in the video
06:19 a little bit of aloofness.
06:20 When you said, you did your devotion
06:22 in the shower yesterday a little bit...
06:24 Ain't that crazy?
06:26 That's the craziest thing I ever heard.
06:27 But it was the time that I just had prayer, I had prayer there,
06:29 and it was my worship for the morning.
06:31 I was running late. Okay.
06:32 All right, I mean...
06:34 Well, you need to get up early, you set the alarm and then...
06:35 Well, I was running late.
06:37 You set the alarm, and you turn it off
06:38 five or six different times.
06:39 Well, let's go to the children.
06:41 How do you think this affect the children,
06:43 the bickering in the family devotion,
06:45 the aloofness in family devotion,
06:47 the howling and screaming in family?
06:49 How is that affecting them?
06:51 They don't want to be around us,
06:54 they don't want to participate,
06:55 you know, they're disrespectful,
06:57 they're disobedient.
06:58 I think they've learned their disrespect
07:00 from how we disrespect each other.
07:01 Oh, okay. Wow, that's a lot of insight.
07:05 Now after looking at that video.
07:08 So in general they're disrespectful to you?
07:10 General? Yes.
07:12 So it's not just family devotion?
07:13 No. No.
07:14 Oh, okay. No.
07:16 So are the children the only ones
07:18 that are disrespectful in family devotion?
07:20 No. No.
07:21 I mean, you heard him on that tape,
07:22 he came down and saying he had devotion in the shower.
07:24 What is that?
07:26 I mean, how do we get the family together
07:27 when he's talking about he had it in his shower?
07:29 Well, I was praying in the shower.
07:30 So I had my prayer,
07:31 and I was rushing, and I needed to go.
07:33 Okay. So...
07:35 But that's crazy.
07:36 I mean, if we're going to have family worship,
07:37 we're going to have family worship.
07:39 We should have got up earlier. That was the problem.
07:40 No, you should have got up earlier.
07:42 We were all running late.
07:43 That was the issue.
07:44 So I took up on myself.
07:46 Don't put it on me. You should have got up earlier.
07:47 I took up on myself to have prayer in the shower.
07:48 You should have called family worship.
07:50 This is your responsibility anyway.
07:51 Okay, so this has happened often?
07:54 Yeah. She's always pushing and pulling.
07:55 She wants it her way all the time.
07:57 It's not my way. It's the Lord's way.
07:59 We should be having worship
08:01 every morning with the children.
08:02 She calls her way the Lord's way.
08:03 It is her way. Okay.
08:05 So let's take a look at the children
08:07 and how this may be affecting them, this bickering.
08:11 So how do you think this affect them?
08:12 They're disrespectful.
08:14 She doesn't care where she is,
08:15 where we are in the house when she comes at me.
08:17 What you mean I don't care? You don't care.
08:19 We could all be in the kitchen, everybody is in the kitchen,
08:20 and she just comes right at me.
08:22 She says leave that in the bedroom somewhere,
08:24 don't come out in front of them,
08:26 they see all this stuff coming from her.
08:28 No, it's not just coming from me, it's coming from you,
08:30 you started most of the time.
08:33 Have you guys tried talking about this calmly together?
08:36 No, if I try to talk to her about something,
08:38 she comes, she snaps at me,
08:40 and then I don't want to hear it anymore.
08:41 So I leave her alone.
08:43 He never listens. He never listens.
08:44 Were you aware that he felt this way
08:46 about your discussing issue?
08:49 Oh, she knows.
08:50 She knows, I tell her all the time.
08:53 Well, excuse me, but I just thought you're saying,
08:55 you had not actually spoken to her calmly about this.
08:58 Well, it might not have been calmly.
08:59 He hasn't. Okay.
09:01 You know that... You see how he acts.
09:03 You know that when people are angry,
09:05 you usually do just stop listening.
09:08 So maybe we can try a listening exercise just right now,
09:11 just something, calm down...
09:13 That's a very good thing you just did,
09:14 that deep breath, although,
09:16 I don't think that deep breath meant what I...
09:18 No, I didn't.
09:20 Okay. Let's do it like this.
09:21 Let's breathe in, breathe in.
09:24 Let your shoulders drop and breathe out.
09:26 Okay, now I want you to hear what he's saying,
09:28 I want you to lower your voice.
09:30 Tell her how you're feeling
09:32 when she's coming at you in front of the kids.
09:35 Well, first of all, I don't need to...
09:36 I say one question. A question?
09:38 Okay, how do you feel when she's coming at you?
09:41 I feel degraded, disrespected.
09:44 I don't feel like the man or the leader of the home.
09:48 So did you hear him?
09:51 Yes, I heard him. What did he say?
09:53 He said he doesn't feel like the man.
09:55 But he said more than that.
09:57 What else did he say?
09:59 He said he feels disrespected.
10:01 Okay. And what else?
10:04 I don't know what else. Degraded!
10:05 Excuse me, just say it again in the nice calm tone.
10:07 Sorry. I'm sorry.
10:10 Could you say the whole sentence in a calm way?
10:12 I feel degraded.
10:14 But how to... You know what?
10:15 See, I don't understand that
10:17 because if I don't call worship,
10:18 then it doesn't get done.
10:20 He doesn't call it.
10:21 It's not that you're calling worship that's the problem.
10:24 I think he's saying how you call worship
10:27 and how you speak to him.
10:28 That's a problem for him.
10:30 He feels degraded.
10:31 Well, he knows every morning that we should have worship.
10:35 He can call it, but he just never does.
10:37 Okay. And so you choose to call it, right?
10:43 Okay. So it's a choice you make.
10:45 Now he's saying, you've made a choice,
10:48 and the way you choose to carry out your decision
10:52 makes him feel degraded.
10:56 But it's not limited to that.
10:58 Okay, so he can just do it.
10:59 He can do it.
11:01 He can make that choice.
11:04 And you have to accept his choice.
11:06 Yes, I don't have a problem with that.
11:07 So the question from me to you is,
11:11 do you understand what it feels like to be degraded?
11:15 Yes. Okay.
11:16 All the time.
11:17 So now I want to switch this over.
11:20 And I'm going to ask you to speak to him calmly
11:26 about what you are feeling.
11:29 One issue concerning devotion.
11:37 I really want us to have a better relationship
11:41 with the Lord.
11:42 And I really need you to man up and call worship.
11:47 Excuse me, could you say that in a kinder way?
11:50 And what I will like from you.
11:55 Could you do that?
11:59 Sweetheart... That's nice.
12:02 Very kind. Keep going.
12:06 Can you be the worship leader in our home?
12:09 Excuse me, "Will you be the worship leader?"
12:12 He can do it, but is he willing to do it.
12:18 Honey bunches of oats,
12:21 will you be the worship leader in our home?
12:24 Okay, now let me ask you say this to you.
12:26 When you say that to him now you relinquish power
12:30 or how it's going to be done.
12:33 I have no problem with that.
12:34 Okay, so that means that if he chooses
12:36 not to do devotion in the morning,
12:38 which may be a good idea or not a good idea,
12:41 you're going to accept that.
12:44 Otherwise, if this particular thing is very important,
12:49 that may be the devotion that you continue...
12:53 So what about if he chooses not to do it at all
12:55 and the whole day goes by?
12:57 Because the whole point we had this is to put the Lord
13:00 in front of us at the beginning of the day.
13:01 Her way. Her way.
13:02 Understood. No.
13:04 I understand that.
13:05 That's about giving the Lord the first part of your day,
13:07 just like you give your tithe and offering,
13:08 give the Lord the first part.
13:09 Okay. That's true.
13:11 And that's a good idea.
13:13 If we can look at good, better, and best, okay,
13:17 it would be best for everyone
13:19 to do family devotion in the morning.
13:22 I agree with that.
13:23 I really believe that.
13:25 But it may happen that it doesn't get done.
13:30 The question is can you live like that.
13:33 Not every day, but it may happen that way sometimes.
13:37 Well, if he would just get up.
13:38 Well, but you can still choose to do to lead out.
13:43 Do you think it's a good idea for both of us
13:45 to come together before we even leave out the bedroom?
13:48 Come together on one accord
13:50 and then we go to the children together
13:52 'cause she does it her way and then she fusses at me
13:55 because I complain about the way she did it.
13:57 Okay, well, you know what, I like that,
13:59 which you're saying to me is it a good idea for us
14:03 to pray together before we leave the bedroom.
14:06 What do you think about that? Yeah, I agree with that.
14:09 And that's a suggestion from your husband
14:11 who wants to lead out,
14:12 so he's going to start it in the bedroom.
14:14 I agree with that. Excellent idea.
14:16 So you're going to have it every morning,
14:17 you're going to call it every morning?
14:19 Well, you know what, if he calls it,
14:22 it's a good thing.
14:24 But if he doesn't, I can call it, right?
14:26 But how you call it,
14:28 it's not that you're calling that's a problem
14:30 but if you're going to say, "Oh, yeah, pray!"
14:34 What good does a prayer do, right?
14:37 Well, that's because they get on my nerves.
14:39 You know, it could just be simple, it could be short,
14:42 it could be sweet,
14:44 but it's like pulling teeth and get them to come.
14:46 Okay. Well, let's lower all of that energy.
14:50 Lower all of that.
14:52 Let's come to the table
14:53 with a nice, clean slate which releases...
14:58 Let's talk about strategies
14:59 so that they won't get on your nerves
15:02 because I believe devotion time is really a great time.
15:06 I agree with you completely on that.
15:08 And so we have to come together calmly,
15:13 so pay attention to how you're feeling.
15:16 If you're expecting people to fight up against you,
15:19 you're coming in with your dukes loaded,
15:21 and I'm ready to have family devotion.
15:24 You know, we're not coming like that.
15:26 And you know what else?
15:28 The Holy Spirit can't work with our minds
15:30 if we're set on exactly
15:33 how family devotion should be done,
15:35 the minute it is supposed to be done.
15:37 We have to be a little bit more open
15:39 and receptive to allow the Spirit of God
15:42 to do some work in this.
15:44 What do you think about that?
15:45 I agree with that. I agree with that.
15:47 I agree. I agree with that.
15:48 So it's how we do it.
15:49 I think that's going to be really important.
15:52 You do have children.
15:54 So they probably don't really understand testimonies,
15:58 they probably really don't understand that.
16:00 Prayer, they need to be encouraged
16:04 to have individual prayer first.
16:07 They can do any of their big ones
16:08 when you're doing yours,
16:09 and we are not in control of that.
16:11 Okay, it can be a one sentence prayer or almost...
16:14 Yeah, I mean, I want them to pray more.
16:15 Okay. Yeah, on their own.
16:17 That's part of developing
16:18 their own relationship with the Lord.
16:20 Very good. So we're going to allow them to do that.
16:24 Could you take out your pens
16:25 as we're talking about these strategies?
16:26 Okay. Okay.
16:28 So we want them to pray for themselves.
16:30 Okay. Okay.
16:32 We want to have couple prayer in your bedroom.
16:37 And then you guys can go and pick up
16:39 music from the store.
16:42 Well, we can get that off the internet.
16:43 I mean, we can download...
16:45 So you're going to buy some off the internet?
16:46 Yes. Okay.
16:48 And then your final one is, this is really important,
16:53 stop while they're still enjoying family devotion.
16:56 And the reason I say that is because a pattern has been set
17:00 where the children are coming
17:03 to family devotion angry already
17:05 because they already know what's going to happen.
17:07 So we want to switch that pattern up.
17:09 So we want to make family devotion
17:10 very short, very sweet,
17:12 you can even incorporate a nice little trinket
17:15 or something every now and then.
17:18 We want them say, "Family devotion's over already?"
17:22 And when we see that we have something, okay?
17:25 So when you say trinket, you mean like gifts, like...
17:29 You can do a little gift if you want to,
17:30 it could be new music.
17:32 It could be anything, you know, it could be breakfast today.
17:36 So just making it family devotion
17:39 more interesting for them and for yourselves, okay?
17:42 Okay. Okay.
17:43 All right, so we're out of time.
17:45 So next week let's come back
17:47 and let's see put something in place,
17:49 especially the prayer, I think that's very important.
17:51 In fact, let us have a word of prayer
17:53 before we leave, okay?
17:55 Okay. So let's pray right now.
17:59 Most Honorable Father,
18:00 we thank You so much for the gift of family devotion,
18:03 we thank You for each other.
18:04 And, Lord, we ask that You will heal this family
18:07 that You call them to have peace
18:09 and gratitude and graciousness towards each other
18:12 and to glorify You in all that they do,
18:14 in Jesus' name we pray and praise You always.
18:16 Amen. Amen.
18:18 Amen. You guys have a great day.
18:19 All right.
18:21 And I look forward to seeing you next week.
18:22 All right, thank you. Thank you.
18:25 So how are you doing? Fine.
18:27 We're doing much better.
18:29 You guys seem to be much more calm today
18:30 than you were when I first saw you.
18:33 We are. We are. Thanks to you.
18:34 You know, we put some of your strategies into practice.
18:36 Oh, good, good.
18:37 You know, we started praying,
18:39 before worship he and I together and that...
18:41 You have no idea the difference that that made.
18:43 It makes a big difference.
18:45 Yeah. It did. It really did.
18:46 We went in together
18:47 with the same idea as a same tone.
18:50 She was in on her tone and my tone was different,
18:53 we did it together.
18:54 He started calling worship.
18:56 Oh, good, good, good.
18:59 So did you stand at the bottom of the steps and say,
19:01 "It's time for worship!"
19:02 No, no.
19:03 We did it a whole different way.
19:05 We took your suggestion,
19:06 and we went into the children's rooms.
19:07 Oh, good. You know?
19:09 And just kind of nudged them awake,
19:10 you know, and said, you know, "Hey, let's have worship."
19:14 Asked if they had any ideas of what they want to bring,
19:17 we made it shorter.
19:18 That helped a lot.
19:20 Good. Good.
19:21 Well, I wanted to say thank you again for allowing us
19:24 to put a camera in your home
19:25 so that we could see
19:27 how the strategies were working for you.
19:29 So let's take a look at the video
19:31 and see what happened.
19:32 Okay. Okay.
19:34 Let's have family worship before we get out of here
19:36 and get started on our day.
19:37 I have a testimony.
19:39 I have one too.
19:40 Oh, great. That's great.
19:41 So we open with prayer
19:43 and then we can hear the testimonies.
19:44 How about that? Okay.
19:46 Let's bow our heads.
19:47 Dear Lord Jesus, we bow thanking You and praising You
19:50 for all the wonderful things You've done for us.
19:53 Send Your Holy Spirit to be with us
19:54 as we worship You today in Jesus' name we pray.
19:56 Amen. Amen.
19:58 So Justina, honey, what's your testimony?
20:00 Well, last week, I had my spelling test.
20:03 And I prayed, and I studied for this test.
20:07 And when she gave them back to us,
20:08 I realized I didn't get a higher score than Jaden,
20:12 but I tried my best.
20:13 Well, weren't you trying to get a better score than her?
20:16 Yeah, but I realized that it didn't really matter
20:19 because I beat my personal best.
20:21 You go, girl. I'm proud of you.
20:23 That's great. That is great.
20:25 It's all about doing your best,
20:26 and you didn't worry about competing with anybody else.
20:29 You know, that reminds me of Philippians 4:13,
20:33 "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me."
20:37 We need to remember that all day today.
20:39 Just keep it in your mind all day.
20:41 Jerry, what's your testimony?
20:43 I saved a little kid from being bullied yesterday.
20:46 Oh, wow.
20:47 One of my friends is messing with a little kid,
20:50 and I told him that he was being a coward
20:52 by messing with little kids.
20:54 So I told him to come on
20:56 and play ball with us and leave the little kids alone.
20:58 Oh, good. Honey, that was great.
21:01 Good job, Jerry.
21:02 It took a lot of courage
21:04 to stand up to your friend like that
21:05 and to take up for that little kid.
21:08 So let's close out in prayer.
21:10 Okay. And I'll say a prayer.
21:11 All right.
21:12 Dear kind gracious loving heavenly Father,
21:14 God, we thank You so much for this family, Lord.
21:16 And we thank You for the blessings
21:17 that You have given to us.
21:19 And now as we go out and start our day,
21:21 we ask for the presence of Your Holy Spirit to go before us
21:24 and to protect us and keep us safe
21:26 in Jesus' name we pray.
21:27 Amen. Amen.
21:29 So let's get ready, get out of here,
21:30 but before we go, what do we always try to do
21:32 when we go out into the world every day?
21:35 Tell the world about Jesus
21:39 Tell them about His love
21:43 Tell the world about Jesus
21:48 Tell them about His love
21:51 You guys did a great job.
21:54 Now I can probably guess which strategies were your favorite,
21:57 but tell me which ones were your favorite?
21:59 Well, you know what, we found music.
22:01 You heard us, we found music
22:02 that we could sing as a family together.
22:05 Oh, that was better than actually buying music.
22:07 Yes, it was.
22:08 But we allowed them to also bring their stories,
22:11 things that were important to them.
22:13 Yes. And so they were included.
22:15 So we like that.
22:17 And things that made them kind of shine, you know?
22:20 And, I mean to tell you I was so proud of my kids.
22:23 You know, that they were learning some life lessons
22:26 and then sharing them with us in worship.
22:28 It was great.
22:29 They were totally different than before.
22:30 Okay. Okay.
22:32 Now I see some changes in the children.
22:33 But do you see changes in them?
22:34 What kind of changes are you seeing?
22:36 Well, they were calm, they were involved,
22:39 before they would just recluse themselves
22:42 and didn't want to be even in the room with us.
22:45 And they seem more self-confident
22:46 because we've been allowing them to take charge.
22:50 You know, and they look forward to worship.
22:52 Sometimes they're like, "Worship is over already?"
22:54 Can you believe that? Yes.
22:55 That is great.
22:57 Now I have one question for you.
22:58 Are you seeing these same changes
23:00 outside of family devotion?
23:02 Yes, they're more obedient.
23:04 Oh, really?
23:06 They are. They're more obedient.
23:08 I know you're happy about that.
23:09 They actually finished their chores
23:10 that we've asked them to do,
23:12 without any arguing or bickering.
23:13 They're more respectful.
23:15 You know, the kids used to say,
23:17 "Well, when you respect us, we'll respect you."
23:19 Well, I thought that was nonsense.
23:20 Right. But there's something to that.
23:22 You know, if you treat your children as human beings,
23:25 children of God, you know, they change.
23:28 And we're still working on some things,
23:30 everything is not just perfect.
23:31 But we're still working on some things,
23:33 but it's a big change from before.
23:36 And he led out, did you notice that?
23:37 He led out. I did.
23:39 And you seem to be just as happy.
23:41 I was.
23:43 So I do want to know what things
23:44 are you still working on.
23:46 Well, when I see something that I don't like, I've learned...
23:50 You taught me last time to take a deep breath and just stop.
23:55 And then I could think a little bit better
23:56 about what my response should be instead of just reacting.
24:00 And, you know, like before,
24:02 you know, when they said
24:03 something crazy or a whining out,
24:05 I just, you know, would add them
24:07 but now it's like, okay, let's take a different approach
24:10 and just kind of leave them from that
24:12 to where I want them to be.
24:14 Yeah, so we call that like a hook.
24:15 Sometimes they could hook you, they know...
24:18 Your son knows you don't like rap music,
24:20 so he's going to come in and say,
24:22 "Oh, I want to sing rap music."
24:24 And you're going to get out of control,
24:26 the dad is going to get out of control.
24:28 And they're controlling your whole family devotion.
24:32 But this way, stepping back, thinking about it,
24:36 and some stuff you can just bypass,
24:37 you don't even have to say anything about it, it's just...
24:39 All right, did you notice
24:40 we had a little bit harmony going there...
24:42 I heard that. I heard that.
24:43 I was thinking maybe you're going to get a record.
24:46 Go to family choir.
24:47 So only for family devotion, okay.
24:50 So how did it...
24:51 Making those changes
24:53 change your relationship with each other?
24:55 Well, we're more respectful of each other too.
24:56 We don't fuss. Yeah.
24:59 We don't fuss as much.
25:01 There's stuff that's still irritates us.
25:03 I think we take a different approach.
25:06 I don't think we're stressed out with each other,
25:08 you know, which changes
25:10 the whole tone of the house too.
25:13 So you had some very specific ideas about
25:17 how family worship should be done
25:19 and when it should be done.
25:20 What's it like making all these big changes?
25:23 You know what, for real, I really didn't care.
25:26 It didn't have to be my way.
25:28 I just knew that it was important
25:30 to bring the family together to do that.
25:32 And actually, I'm perfectly fine
25:34 with my husband leading out
25:36 or the kids bringing their ideas.
25:37 You know, sometimes we have to kind of,
25:39 you know, channel them a little bit,
25:41 but I'm perfectly fine with that.
25:43 I really am.
25:44 If you could give another family
25:46 who is having the same problems
25:49 one strategy that they need to do
25:51 to help get back on track,
25:53 which one would you choose?
25:55 Just one.
25:56 I would say pray more and be led by the Holy Spirit.
26:00 Oh, I agree with that. Yeah.
26:01 'Cause the Holy Spirit knows exactly how to approach them
26:05 and sometimes we do it the wrong way,
26:07 many times we do it the wrong way.
26:09 So let the Lord lead.
26:11 And so now I have advanced strategies
26:13 for my advanced families.
26:14 Oh, my goodness, we've graduated.
26:15 You have graduated.
26:17 Okay, so the first thing I want you to do
26:18 is do the unexpected sometimes in family devotion.
26:21 Oh, okay. Okay.
26:23 So what would be unexpected for your children?
26:27 Well, I have to pay a little bit more attention to them
26:29 and find out what they like and then bring that to worship.
26:33 Yeah, and maybe just to have a big brunch set out for them.
26:36 I was thinking that, that would be cool.
26:38 Okay. It would be.
26:40 Yeah. Right. Okay.
26:41 And simple mistakes, we want to smile about.
26:43 Okay. Okay.
26:44 Okay, we don't have to issue
26:46 a punishment for a simple mistake
26:47 or correct every mistake, okay?
26:48 Okay, so like don't fight every battle.
26:50 Every battle do not need to be fought.
26:52 Okay, that's what how I think.
26:54 And then refuse to get hooked into bad communication.
26:58 So they may try to revert and go back to the old ways,
27:02 refuse to do it, okay, as far as possible.
27:05 All right, so we're going to have a very quick prayer
27:08 and then we're going to close out, okay?
27:10 All right, we'll just stay where we are.
27:13 Most honorable Father,
27:14 we thank You for Your healing power in this family.
27:16 We thank You that family devotion
27:18 has straightened out so many things
27:19 and that the power of prayer
27:21 has prevailed in this situation.
27:22 Thank You, and we praise Your holy name
27:24 for Your goodness, amen.
27:26 Amen. Amen.
27:27 So we'll see you next week.
27:28 All right. Thank you so much.
27:30 All right.
27:33 Often parents believe
27:34 that they are teaching children to love God,
27:37 but what are they really teaching their children?
27:39 Unintentionally, children are being taught
27:41 that there isn't enough time for God.
27:44 They are being taught that the daily routine
27:46 is more important than God.
27:48 It's easy to get off track
27:50 and teach something that you aren't intending to teach.
27:53 It's important to pay attention
27:55 to your behavior concerning family devotion
27:58 and what you are really teaching
27:59 your children about God
28:01 because it affects your child in this life
28:04 and the life to come.
28:05 So remember, family devotion can be fun and interesting,
28:10 make it short and leave the child wanting more.
28:13 And most importantly, let the children feel your love
28:16 so they would learn to love the Lord.