Pumped Up Parents

God’S Little Stewards

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript



Series Code: PUP

Program Code: PUP000003A

00:02 Look, girl, I thought, I told you
00:04 to get this mess cleaned up.
00:05 You should detail her, Mom.
00:07 She never does anything you tell her to do.
00:09 I already cleaned up this room.
00:11 Who are you talking to like that?
00:13 I said get this mess cleaned up.
00:15 First of all, I'd need you to get out of my face
00:19 and stay out of my face.
00:21 I already cleaned this room up yesterday.
00:23 Oh, no! Oh, no!
00:25 Oh, no!
00:26 You have me confused with somebody else.
00:29 Whom you think you're talking to,
00:31 if you don't get this mess cleaned up,
00:33 we're going to be planning a funeral in here today.
00:36 Yeah, Mom, she is always talking back to you.
00:38 Get out of my way, Gerick.
00:40 And don't start that crying in
00:42 because I can't help you with that.
00:44 Now can I get a witness up in here today?
00:46 Yes, ma'am.
00:47 Get this mess cleaned up.
00:49 Do you want this belt?
00:50 Gerick, I'm not going to need no belt
00:52 because we are going to planning a repast today
00:53 until if your room is not cleaned up too.
00:58 What are you doing?
00:59 You're just making an extra work for yourself.
01:01 Why are you putting those clothes in that box?
01:03 I told you to get them up and out of here.
01:05 But you said to put them here
01:07 because you're going to give them away.
01:09 I told you not to talk to me that way.
01:12 What are you doing?
01:14 But you said to do it! You said!
01:16 Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
01:17 Are those the clothes
01:19 that I'm going to give away to the church?
01:20 Oh, well, finish putting them in the box
01:21 and give me that box.
01:26 No, a second thought, you carry it.
01:28 Come on, here.
02:10 Thanks for allowing us to put this camera in your home.
02:14 And we captured some of the stuff that's going on.
02:17 Well, that's happened this past week.
02:19 You know what, that little girl gets on my last nerve.
02:22 Just looking at that just makes my blood pressure boil.
02:25 We're having to come between them all the time.
02:28 So you had more incidents like that this past week?
02:31 She is so disobedient and so disrespectful, I just...
02:35 It's hard for me to keep my temper.
02:37 Okay. Is she disobedient and disrespectful to you?
02:39 Always, always.
02:40 Never wants to do what you ask her to do.
02:42 Always got lip.
02:43 I don't want lip, just do what I ask you to do.
02:47 Okay, so is her brother...
02:49 Is he more respectful?
02:51 No, he has his moments too. Okay.
02:54 So both of them are the same way.
02:56 Yeah, but he's not as often.
02:58 Yeah, he doesn't get on your face that she does.
03:00 You know, she and I just go just...
03:01 Yeah.
03:02 Toe to toe, all the time.
03:04 Yeah, I saw that on the video.
03:05 How long has that being going on?
03:07 A long time. A long time.
03:09 A while, yes.
03:11 You know, this thing like when she turned like 12,
03:14 you know, all of a sudden it just came out of no where.
03:17 Okay. All right.
03:19 So after reviewing the video,
03:22 is there anything that you could possibly be doing
03:24 that may contribute to this situation?
03:28 I saw that look on your face, what does that mean?
03:31 Well, you know, I guess,
03:33 we could talk to them differently,
03:34 but they anger us so much.
03:37 You just want to snatch them up.
03:39 They're not listening,
03:40 you try to explain what you need done
03:42 and instead of just doing it, you get all of this back talk.
03:45 You know, if I had talked back to my mother like that,
03:48 I would be on the floor.
03:49 Yes. I would be on the floor.
03:50 Yes. I would be living on the floor.
03:52 That's where I would be.
03:53 Well, you know that we live
03:55 in a whole different time now, right?
03:56 Yeah, yeah. I guess.
03:58 And although there is no mandate
04:01 that corporal punishment is completely illegal.
04:04 You know, if you accidentally put a bruise on her,
04:08 that's a problem, right?
04:10 And that's what they say. Yeah.
04:12 I wish she would.
04:14 Well, that's a legal problem.
04:16 And you do understand that if you come in here
04:18 with this legal problem, I may have to...
04:21 I'm a mandated reporter, so I have to report that.
04:24 Okay. Okay?
04:25 Oh, yeah, you didn't say number or word, okay.
04:27 Well, I'm not saying to beat him and don't tell me.
04:31 What I'm saying to you is,
04:33 we're going to have to really work hard
04:35 to pull you back a little bit
04:37 so that is not that aggravating.
04:39 I noticed that you snatched her, she seemed okay.
04:43 Yeah, she was fine.
04:44 And I really like the way when she got in your face.
04:47 I was for sure, she was going
04:49 to get up off the floor for real.
04:51 And it will be all over the video for everybody to see,
04:53 but you walked away.
04:54 The love of God.
04:56 Yes, and I just praise God for it
04:58 because that's not what I want to see on any of the recordings
05:01 that we bring in here, okay?
05:03 So let's do our very best,
05:04 we have to lower the level of anger in the home
05:08 in some kind of way.
05:09 Okay. Can we agree to that?
05:11 Okay, okay. Okay.
05:12 So let me ask you, how do you think that children
05:14 are affected by this style of parenting?
05:20 This style of parenting, what do you mean by that?
05:22 I mean, it's a lot of shouting...
05:27 I turned out fine.
05:29 My mother and father did me,
05:31 and they kept me at bay by getting in my face,
05:34 and snatching me up, and...
05:36 My daddy beat me with a water hose.
05:38 So this is what works.
05:40 They have it easy as far as I'm concerned.
05:42 Okay.
05:44 So you're saying that this is what works?
05:45 It worked for me.
05:46 Well, I mean, we turned out okay, didn't we?
05:48 Well, yeah.
05:49 But you're in a therapist office right now.
05:52 Well, but that's for the kids, that's not for us.
05:54 Oh, okay, okay.
05:55 But let's see about that...
05:58 There are times,
05:59 the times are just so much different now.
06:02 You know, you could actually go to school with a black eye
06:05 that your parent gave you,
06:07 and the teacher would say,
06:08 "She should have done more than that."
06:10 Right? But we don't live in those times anymore.
06:13 And not only that, you guys may recognize that
06:16 if I'm not going down on the floor,
06:18 that's enough.
06:19 Some people will knock the child down, stump on them,
06:22 kick them,
06:23 you know, till the child has got broken ribs.
06:26 So no one wants that on their conscious.
06:29 And I may, you know, I don't want to hurt my children,
06:31 I don't want my children to be afraid of me.
06:34 You know, I just want them to mind and be obedient.
06:36 And obey. Okay.
06:39 Of course, we want them to obey, okay?
06:41 So but I'm going to take you back to the question,
06:44 how do you think this...
06:46 Maybe let me not say parenting style.
06:48 But how do you think hollering, yanking,
06:53 screaming at them affects them?
06:58 How they see themselves?
06:59 Their self-control...
07:01 I mean, their self-esteem.
07:02 And, yes, there's self-control, there is self-control.
07:04 They probably, they scream back
07:05 because I'm screaming at them so I do see that.
07:08 Okay. So they're going to retaliate.
07:11 And that kind of, sometimes, I just kind of...
07:12 Well, think for one movement.
07:14 So you said that they are like that that they...
07:18 What was that word you said retaliate?
07:19 Retaliate.
07:21 But I'm going to say, they have learned to respond,
07:24 the way you taught them.
07:27 This is how we talk to each other,
07:30 what do you think about that idea?
07:33 It's just an idea.
07:34 Yeah, it's kind of tough but that's all right.
07:37 Yeah, they always say a child does what you do,
07:40 and not what you say.
07:41 And you talk about your father with the...
07:44 What is it a core? What kind of a thing?
07:46 It was a water hose, a piece of a water hose.
07:48 Okay, and that's very interesting
07:49 that in this very heated movement,
07:51 does that comes back to your memory?
07:53 Yeah.
07:55 Did you think that was right?
07:56 No, I don't think it was right.
07:58 Do you think it's right today?
07:59 No.
08:00 So what we can see is that
08:02 there are levels of abuse, isn't it?
08:03 Even though, you know, you're not hitting them
08:06 with a water hose, may be what you're doing
08:09 could be causing a little bit of damage maybe.
08:13 Well, I never thought about it like that,
08:14 I never compared it like that.
08:16 'Cause, you know, like you say, you're doing better,
08:19 and you are, for sure
08:20 because I can almost believe there's a whole host
08:25 of other behaviors your dad did,
08:26 cursing at you, name-calling,
08:28 you know, and maybe beating you with other things as well.
08:32 But just because he did those things,
08:35 and you turned out well,
08:37 doesn't mean every child is going to turn out well
08:39 under that type of pressure.
08:41 What do you think? That's true.
08:42 Okay. I guess that's true.
08:44 I never thought about it like that.
08:45 I didn't like looking at that video
08:47 and seeing those things happen.
08:49 It kind of harsh.
08:51 Sometimes when you step outside of yourself,
08:53 and you actually see what kind of behavior...
08:56 It was actually little embarrassing
08:57 because you all had the cameras in there.
09:00 And we have to watch that with you.
09:02 Right. Right.
09:03 Yeah, I could see your point. Okay.
09:05 So one thing he is pinpointing out radius
09:08 that they have learned to communicate in aggressive
09:11 and maybe harsh way.
09:13 So that's one way that it's affected them.
09:15 Is there another way that you can see that has affected them?
09:18 Well, I see sometimes
09:20 that my daughter cringes away from me.
09:22 You know, and like I said,
09:23 I don't want my child to be afraid of me.
09:25 I just want her to obey.
09:27 And I think sometimes, she thinks I'm going to hit her
09:29 which I have never really hit her.
09:31 I mean, unjustifiably anyway.
09:34 Oh, okay, so you never really hit her unjustifiably, okay.
09:37 Okay.
09:39 You know, but I don't want them to be afraid of us.
09:42 You know, and I think that looking at that,
09:46 you know, I can tell that she was a little bit fearful.
09:49 But you know what, I don't want you to be too hard
09:52 on yourselves either because guess what?
09:55 Your parents modeled for you,
09:57 so you learnt that this is the way we do it.
10:00 You know, we knock them down,
10:02 you know, we holler at them at the top of our voices.
10:04 Now we almost threatened their lives,
10:07 you know, to the brink of death.
10:08 I think you even say
10:10 that you're going to have a repast dinner, right?
10:11 I don't know if she knows what that is,
10:13 but, you know, that's...
10:14 She knows what it is, she does tell...
10:17 Oh, okay, so I'm sure those weren't caused by you
10:20 in any way but, so she some...
10:22 So you guys learned this, and now it's time to unlearn...
10:26 Apparently, the Holy Spirit has been working with you.
10:29 And so that you feel in your heart
10:31 that there's got to be a better way,
10:33 would you agree with that?
10:35 Yeah, there is. I don't want to yell.
10:38 I would just want the respect when I'm asked for something.
10:41 And sometimes, I feel like I have to yell
10:44 in order to get the response that I'm looking for.
10:46 Okay.
10:47 You know, my mother when I think about her,
10:49 my mother yelled all the time.
10:50 I mean, all the time.
10:52 You know, my brother and I would just get sick of it.
10:54 You know, all into the night,
10:55 she'd be screaming and yelling at my dad.
10:58 And so, you know, what kind of message do you think
11:00 that sends to children.
11:02 What do you think that it says
11:03 when you're hollering about everything?
11:05 That that's the way to communicate.
11:07 That's the way to communicate.
11:08 Anything else? It's very negative.
11:10 It is.
11:12 It communicates just a negative atmosphere.
11:15 There's something's wrong with them,
11:16 they're unlovable, they're unlikable.
11:19 You know, if I could get rid of you,
11:22 I would because I'm so tired of this.
11:25 I really do love my children though.
11:28 But did that video say I love you?
11:31 No, that didn't look like love at all.
11:32 Okay. Okay.
11:34 So let's talk about what kind of changes
11:36 you would like to see in your family.
11:38 What would you like to see?
11:39 Just be out of the top ridiculousness with love.
11:42 Let's say that.
11:44 With love you say?
11:45 Mm-hmm, just what you know, how do you want your family?
11:49 I want us to be peaceful.
11:51 Peaceful. Good.
11:52 Good word.
11:54 You know, I want us to cooperate with one another
11:56 like for the household chores, you know, the children...
12:00 I would like to be able to just write out a chore list,
12:02 and they do it.
12:04 You know, and I don't have to just beat them
12:06 over the heads so to speak.
12:07 Well, and it seems like when they get home,
12:10 they should be able to see the chore list and get it done.
12:13 It doesn't happen.
12:14 So when I finally get home,
12:16 I'm expecting it to be already done.
12:19 And it's not.
12:20 And that sends me through the roof.
12:21 So you will like for them to get their chores completed
12:24 before you get home?
12:26 Yes. Okay.
12:27 Anything else?
12:28 Well, you know, I just want them to feel comfortable
12:33 in their own home.
12:36 You know that, I think that's important.
12:38 You know, I didn't feel comfortable
12:39 at times in my home.
12:41 And I said I'm going to...
12:42 I want my children to feel comfortable at home.
12:44 Okay.
12:46 So it's interesting how you
12:48 have the specific ideal about what you want,
12:51 but yet you're doing what your parents did.
12:55 And you actually get what they got, correct?
13:00 I guess if you look at it that way.
13:01 I mean, you're not getting peace and calm from the kids,
13:04 you're not getting cooperation, you're not even getting support
13:07 that when I come home things are completely done.
13:09 Right. Well, I guess the end result is the same.
13:11 I mean, you know, I didn't back talk my parents
13:13 the way that our children do, but...
13:16 Yeah, but you're not knocking them down to the floor either.
13:19 You're not using water hose on them.
13:21 I mean, if my parent use that on me,
13:23 you can almost guarantee anything and everything
13:25 will be done before they get out.
13:27 That's true.
13:28 So let's talk about some ways
13:31 that we can get them to be what we like for them to be.
13:34 Just summarize.
13:36 So first thing we're going to do is just calm down.
13:39 So let's try this.
13:41 I want you to breathe in and breathe out.
13:46 Now this time when you breathe out lower your shoulders,
13:48 breathe in, breathe out, lower those shoulders.
13:53 All right, okay.
13:54 I want you to this time see yourself talking
13:58 to your daughter in a calm way.
14:01 So when you know, you have to tell her
14:03 to clean up her bedroom,
14:04 make sure you think calm first.
14:07 Okay, you think you can do that?
14:08 Okay. I can try.
14:10 Okay.
14:11 And you can even start this on your drive home.
14:13 So you could start on the way home.
14:16 I want you to notice,
14:17 if you're hungry or tired
14:20 when you turn into them like that
14:22 and if you are, take care of the hunger first.
14:25 Because I can almost guarantee
14:26 they're not going to run and clean up the room.
14:28 So you won't have to speak to them
14:29 so the problem will still be there,
14:32 just take care of those other factors for us.
14:34 Maybe if you're tired, go take a nap.
14:37 You know, you don't have to address a problem,
14:39 right then, right there.
14:40 Okay. And then remember...
14:42 Well, that's interesting.
14:43 I never thought about that that I could just come in
14:45 and do some me time.
14:47 Yeah.
14:48 Yeah, you could just do me time on the way home, you know?
14:51 So and then one more thing is to make sure
14:54 that when you speak to them about,
14:58 you know, problem, remember,
14:59 some of this stuff is just part of growing up.
15:02 Now let's be honest, did you rush home every day
15:05 and clean up your room
15:06 because you just love cleaning up rooms?
15:07 No. No.
15:09 No.
15:10 So it sounds to me like you guys
15:12 have made a move away from your parents
15:14 what they were doing.
15:15 But you don't have anything to replace it, okay?
15:18 Okay.
15:20 So let's try replacing some of those things.
15:21 And let's see what happens, okay?
15:24 So our time is up now.
15:25 And we'll get back together next time, okay?
15:27 All right. All right.
15:29 You guys have a good day. Thank you.
15:30 Thank you.
15:32 Okay, so how are you guys doing now?
15:36 I think on your scale of good, better, best, we're doing good.
15:40 Okay.
15:41 So can you tell me what's going on currently at home?
15:45 House is calmer or quite or peaceful.
15:48 Good.
15:50 And I took your advice and when I come in,
15:52 and I just don't want to have to deal with anything.
15:55 I go in and run me a nice hot tub of water.
15:57 Look at that.
15:59 And get in and just relax. Oh, that is nice.
16:01 You know, put some relaxing instrumental music going.
16:04 And then I don't have to deal with it and then I'm calm.
16:07 So when I come out...
16:09 You know, then I'm calmer.
16:11 All right, all right.
16:13 Well, thanks for allowing us to put a camera in your home.
16:16 So let's take a look at what we got this week,
16:18 some pretty good stuff.
16:22 Mom, I'm home.
16:24 Oh, hi, Sweetie. How was your day today?
16:26 Good.
16:29 How was yours?
16:31 You know, it was a little bit rough.
16:33 And I had to bring some work home
16:34 because I didn't get quite finish with it today.
16:35 Where is your brother? Oh, he is...
16:37 Hi. How are you, son?
16:40 How was your day today? Good.
16:42 How about you? It was good.
16:45 Okay, so, you know what,
16:47 I thought I asked you guys to clean up in here yesterday.
16:49 We did.
16:50 You did? Yeah.
16:52 Yeah, Mom, let me show you.
16:53 Okay.
16:55 I fixed the breakfast bar.
16:58 So did I.
16:59 Oh, you guys did a good job.
17:01 Thank you. You're welcome.
17:03 And look, how nice the living room looks.
17:06 Oh, okay.
17:07 Well, except for the stuff that you're all just doing here.
17:09 Can you guys get that up?
17:11 Thank you. Yeah.
17:14 And, you know what, I'm pretty sure that this box
17:17 doesn't belong here on our dining room table.
17:20 Well, that's because we put the clothes
17:22 that you wanted to give away in there.
17:24 Oh, that was a good idea,
17:26 you decided to put them in a box.
17:27 I was thinking actually about a bag
17:29 but this is a great idea.
17:30 Okay, I tell you what,
17:31 can you guys put them in the car for me?
17:34 So that we're going to put our service tomorrow,
17:36 if they already be in the car and we won't forget about them.
17:37 Mm-hmm. Okay. Great.
17:39 Thank you. I'll open the door for you.
17:41 I love you, guys.
17:42 Love you too. I love you too, Mom.
17:47 You guys have done well.
17:49 I know you're very proud of yourselves, ha?
17:53 Yeah. I'm proud of the kids really.
17:55 Okay. I am.
17:57 Well, first let's give you a little some props,
18:00 I mean, there was no grabbing.
18:02 Well, that's true.
18:03 And your voice stay so calm.
18:06 And, yes, you even had to correct some things.
18:09 Put this away, put that away.
18:11 And if you have made a mistake, you owned up, "Oh, okay.
18:14 Well, yeah, that's a better idea than what I..."
18:16 Really, really good stuff.
18:18 I'm just so happy for you.
18:19 You guys should be praising God right about now.
18:22 Yes. I know you're having.
18:23 I am.
18:25 It's a much more peaceful home when I come home.
18:28 So I'm really happy about that.
18:31 Okay, so it sounds like you're moving forward.
18:34 We talked about expressing more affection in the family,
18:37 how is that coming?
18:39 You know what, when I go to move towards my children
18:42 just to hug them now, they don't pull back away.
18:46 Oh, okay.
18:47 And I like that.
18:49 Yes, that's much better.
18:51 I noticed that too.
18:52 You have to work on the affection part
18:55 and when I reach around to hug him,
18:58 he kind of looks, I'm like,
19:00 "I'm here for you, I'm your dad,
19:03 I'm not going to hit you."
19:04 So we're getting there.
19:06 We're just not all the way there,
19:07 but we're getting there.
19:09 Just look at your childhoods, just for a brief second.
19:13 So was there a lot of affection in your homes?
19:16 No, not much.
19:19 Not really.
19:20 Not from my parents.
19:22 I mean, like I would like at night
19:25 I would go and give my parents a hug
19:26 before I went to bed, you know?
19:28 But not really a lot coming from them.
19:31 Okay.
19:32 How are you guys with affection towards each other?
19:35 It's getting better.
19:37 You know, when you start talking,
19:39 and you're not screaming, you're talking.
19:42 So that kind of helps to lend more affection.
19:45 If I need her to come in the kitchen with me,
19:47 I might grab her hand
19:48 and pull her in the kitchen or the garage
19:51 whatever I wanted to do.
19:53 But it's little bit more gentle.
19:57 I'm learning. Okay. Cool.
19:59 That's much better too.
20:00 Is that better for you a little bit more gentle?
20:02 It is better.
20:04 Yeah, you know, I'm...
20:06 Yeah, I like it. Okay.
20:08 So which new skills were most helpful for you guys?
20:13 Well, I think you had talked about...
20:18 I think that that taking your time to breathe
20:21 and just that not only helps me to calm down
20:25 but helps me to think about my response,
20:27 instead of just jumping right at them.
20:30 Just take a deep breath which gives me a few seconds
20:33 to think about my response and then I respond differently.
20:36 And if I talk to them in even tones and low tones,
20:40 my response will be better from them, you know?
20:43 And I think that was great too.
20:45 I was going to add to that that,
20:46 you know, you told us to do those breathing exercises.
20:49 So I added a little bit to that and I said breathe in love,
20:52 breathe out peace.
20:54 Breathe in peace, breathe out love.
20:57 And it works every time
20:58 when I'm starting to get a little irritable.
21:01 Oh, very nice.
21:02 So instead of dumping all of that on them.
21:04 Right.
21:06 So how they're responding to your changes?
21:09 They're lot better.
21:11 They're not as irritable,
21:13 they're not as disrespectful, you know?
21:17 As you saw in the video,
21:19 they seem to be willing to help.
21:22 And they look for her approval.
21:25 I saw that. I did.
21:27 I saw that.
21:28 She wasn't trying to be the mom,
21:31 she was trying to get the mom's approval of her.
21:35 That was very nice.
21:37 And I've realized too that
21:38 if I noticed their accomplishments
21:40 and compliment them on those
21:44 that I get a lot more out of them.
21:46 Oh, so complimenting them is pretty good.
21:50 Okay. Oh, that is very nice.
21:52 So I wanted to say peer with the compliments too.
21:55 Be very careful, make sure that
21:57 you're giving honest feedback, okay?
21:59 Because then they will go the left
22:01 and start doing any little bitty thing
22:03 and thinking you should give him high praise and money.
22:06 So that's very nice that you have
22:07 started complimenting them too.
22:09 So do you see just like you modeled your parents...
22:15 Your parents modeled for you,
22:17 do you see now how this modeling thing works
22:20 which ever way you lean they kind of go with it?
22:23 Yes.
22:24 As a matter of fact now that you say that, yes.
22:26 Absolutely.
22:27 It's very interesting to see if you come in yelling,
22:30 you set the tone for the home that evening.
22:33 So then once you...
22:35 You explained it before if I come into the house,
22:37 and I'm yelling and then I get upset
22:39 about all the noise,
22:40 I actually created that environment.
22:43 So I realize now I have a great influence
22:46 on the environment of the home.
22:47 Oh, okay.
22:48 You know, it's just so wonderful
22:50 when parents actually try the strategy.
22:53 Sometimes people prevent the healing
22:56 they got once for their homes but not try anything new.
22:59 Sometimes you hear people say, "I just can't change,"
23:02 or, you know, you guys said it when you first came in,
23:04 "My parents did it like this, my grandparents did it,
23:07 and I'm going to do it too."
23:09 And it takes so long
23:10 to get people to just try something different.
23:13 And if they do that, I mean,
23:14 it's the Lord works with you and stuff.
23:17 You know, the Bible says,
23:18 "Iniquity of the Father is going down
23:20 to third and fourth generation."
23:22 But God is showing mercy upon thousands of them who love Him
23:25 and keep His commandments.
23:27 You know, we're going to work
23:28 on those patterns my mom did it,
23:30 my great grandma did, my great, great grandma...
23:32 Those things are not going anywhere
23:34 until we accept Christ way of doing things.
23:38 And when we accept His way of doing things,
23:40 then we can see changes in our lives,
23:42 and then, you know, the pattern in broken.
23:45 You know, some people talk about the generational curse,
23:47 but, you know, I'm just simply saying it's behavioral patterns
23:50 passed down from one generation to another generation.
23:54 We don't see it
23:55 because we've been doing it all of our lives,
23:58 you know, we grew up in it.
23:59 And, of course, we think, "I got spanked, I'm okay."
24:02 But are we really okay?
24:04 We knew that's a whole different system right there.
24:06 So what changes do you see in you?
24:11 What internal changes do you see in yourself?
24:13 Well, you know what, I'm not so quick to get angry.
24:17 You know, the relaxation, the breathing,
24:19 and taking some time for myself...
24:22 I remember there was this movie and the lady always said it
24:25 when she saw something that upset her.
24:27 "I never did mind about the little things."
24:29 And I take that attitude now.
24:31 You said just walk pass something's now
24:33 and then come back to them later
24:35 and deal with them later.
24:36 And it makes everything so much easier.
24:38 If you have to,
24:40 because in the time that you walk away,
24:42 the Holy Spirit can say, "That's not a big thing."
24:46 And I'm sure, He has said that
24:47 because something seems so huge to us
24:49 because we have...
24:51 You know, some stuff is just personal,
24:52 you know, I may not like sock on the floor,
24:56 but it's not going to kill anybody if it's there.
24:58 So not that that we wanted to have socks on the floor,
25:01 but at the same point we don't want
25:03 to just make little things major issues.
25:07 So let's look at some more things.
25:08 So first thing I want to always remind you of this set,
25:12 you do not want to continue to use hitting and grabbing...
25:17 You know, this I've heard this saying,
25:20 trying to shake out one demon, you shake in seven, right?
25:24 So, you know, we're making things worse
25:26 by doing all that impulsive parenting.
25:28 So we want to take our time as much as possible
25:31 and as often as possible.
25:32 There are times for example,
25:34 if they're going to step on an electrical wire,
25:37 that we may have to say, "Stop!"
25:38 But, you know, most of the times,
25:40 it's not that serious.
25:41 Right. Would you agree with that?
25:43 Yes.
25:44 Okay, and so another thing
25:46 we want to also always remember to is that we love them.
25:49 Yes. Very much.
25:50 Yeah, we're expressing our love.
25:52 And you have to remember that when they get older,
25:55 this is how they're going to express
25:56 their love towards you, so that's the problem.
26:00 Well, I want them to take care of me in my old age so I guess,
26:02 I better do better.
26:04 Right.
26:05 For sure. Okay.
26:06 So in general like at work
26:09 are you seeing any changes with yourself at work too...
26:13 Yeah, I can see some adults saying things,
26:16 I start to if any meetings
26:18 and things are going to the left or the wrong way,
26:22 I'll think about what I want to say
26:24 before I actually say it
26:25 because sometimes I blurred out something
26:27 and then get upset because I said it too fast
26:29 and then I realize,
26:31 I shouldn't have said that or said it that way.
26:33 Correct. So I think before I speak.
26:36 And, you know what, for me, the whole process...
26:39 If I do some of the things that you said just,
26:42 it gives me more patience.
26:43 Right. It really does.
26:45 Well, I'm so grateful that you guys
26:47 tried those strategies.
26:48 And let's bow our heads for quick prayer,
26:50 we didn't get to do this the last time.
26:51 Okay. Let me thank God for you.
26:54 Most Honorable Father,
26:55 we're just so grateful for the health and healing
26:57 You've brought to this family.
26:59 Lord, we ask You that You'd continue to help them grow,
27:02 give them new ways, needs and ideas
27:05 so that they can help other parents if have to.
27:07 We thank You so much
27:08 for breaking the generational curse,
27:10 and above all things, we ask, Lord,
27:12 that they will follow You throughout eternity
27:14 in Jesus' name we pray, amen.
27:16 Amen.
27:17 So you guys have a great day
27:18 and take good care of each other.
27:20 Thank you so much.
27:23 Parents, it doesn't take much to injure child.
27:27 You may leave a bruise
27:28 on the outside that will go away,
27:31 but the unseen scars on the inside
27:33 often go undetected until adulthood.
27:36 These scars can become a major hinges
27:39 to fully serving God as an adult.
27:41 If you have a difficult time parenting without anger,
27:45 pick one strategy and use that until it becomes a habit.
27:49 Keep adding until you become
27:50 the calm, loving parent you want to be.
27:53 Here are some strategies that you can use.
27:55 First, you can pray for yourself
27:58 before you get involved
27:59 with trying to solve the problem.
28:01 Secondly, if you feel yourself getting anger, calm down,
28:05 talk to yourselves say calming thoughts.
28:08 Another thing you can do
28:09 is you can actually decide
28:11 not to deal with the problem until tomorrow.
28:14 Remember, that God loves you so much.
28:17 And He loves your child,
28:18 and He doesn't want either of you
28:20 hindered from coming to Him.


Revised 2018-07-03