Participants:
Series Code: PUP
Program Code: PUP000004A
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00:07 Hey, you guys won't believe it.
00:09 They're having a free concert over at the park. 00:10 You want to go over to the park and watch the free concert? 00:12 Shh, be quiet. 00:13 I just made level five on my game. 00:15 Yes, can you please be quiet. I just made another friend. 00:16 Now I have 500. 00:17 Look, I just want to know if you want to go to the park, 00:20 watch the free concert, 00:22 and we can even go out for dinner afterward. 00:24 How about that? 00:25 Is anybody interested? Mom, mom. 00:29 Mother, mommy. 00:31 Mom! Mom! 00:33 Oh yeah, I just made it to another bonus round. 00:37 Yeah, yeah, I guess we can go. 00:39 Just let me finish like in this camp video. 00:42 Oh, no, wait, Sharon asked me to check out 00:43 something online for her. 00:46 Maybe you can go with Lauren and bring me something back. 00:49 Wait, do you mean the park outside? 00:51 Of course. 00:52 There are way too many bugs outside. 00:54 Mom, please don't make me go. 00:57 I'm competing with Jamie to see who can reach level 10 first. 01:00 All we ever do is stay in this house. 01:02 We never do anything together. 01:05 Really, I asked you to friend me online, 01:07 that way we can hook up any time. 01:10 Then that'll make 501 friends. 01:12 Besides, we just watched a game with you last night. 01:15 You guys were already on your social media when I asked. 01:18 And then you came in, 01:19 you just watched me watch the game. 01:22 Oh, wait a minute. 01:24 Oh, I forgot Joe's coming over to hook up 01:27 my surround sound in the man cave. 01:29 Then we're going to watch the game together. 01:31 So I'll see you guys later. 01:33 Bye. Bye. 02:16 Thanks for letting us record you in your home 02:19 to seeing what's really going on there. 02:21 You guys seem very anxious and upset. 02:23 What's going on? Yeah, we're upset. 02:25 You won't believe what happened. 02:27 We got a real problem at home. Yes, we do. 02:29 All this mess with this Internet, and Lauren, 02:32 she was on the internet and got in touch 02:35 with some crazy adult person. 02:36 What? Yeah, it was ridiculous. 02:38 So what was she doing? 02:40 She was on the internet, and we were at home 02:43 when she was doing it, just sneaking around. 02:45 And some crazy adult got in touch with her 02:48 and been contacting her. 02:50 Really been contacting on a regular basis? 02:52 Yes. Okay, that's weird. 02:53 And we only found out because a friend of hers, 02:56 she actually told her friend's mother. 02:59 And her mother, she came back and told us. 03:01 Wow, that was really a blessing 03:04 that she came and told you guys. 03:06 So, and on the video we saw Lauren was very involved, 03:09 and she was saying she was playing a game. 03:11 Do you think she may have been talking to a person then? 03:13 I don't know. 03:15 We just found out, you know, from the friend's mom. 03:18 And then we called the police, of course, 03:20 hoping for that they would help us. 03:22 You won't believe this. 03:24 One of the police tried to actually blame us 03:27 for not being there, 03:28 saying that we left her unattended, 03:30 and that we should know better. 03:32 The other policemen were great and very helpful, 03:34 but this one guy, it was ridiculous. 03:39 I'm just still upset because she told 03:41 somebody other than me. 03:42 I would just want her to trust me, and she didn't. 03:44 So I'm happy that someone was told, 03:46 but it could've been me. 03:47 It could have been. 03:49 And I understand that feeling angry and frustrated 03:51 'cause you feel little guilt at all about it too. 03:53 Of course. 03:54 You know, being in the same house 03:55 and not knowing what our kids are doing, 03:57 that just makes no sense. 03:58 And I just felt like, you know, she was sneaking around 04:00 and just didn't want to share with us. 04:02 We thought... 04:04 So it's one thing to be at school and doing it, 04:06 but to be at home and talking to this person, 04:08 and we don't even know, that's a problem. 04:10 I'm just so upset. 04:12 We've thought this five minutes that we were spending with her 04:14 every day was enough. 04:16 But you know what, it's never enough. 04:18 We can't figure out how we're going to spend enough time 04:21 to keep this from ever happening again. 04:24 Well, we looked at the video. 04:26 Did you see any behaviors that you were doing that 04:29 may have contributed? 04:30 I'm not saying it's your fault at all 04:32 because the adult in this situation 04:34 is clearly wrong. 04:36 But I'm just wondering maybe there was something 04:38 that made her a little bit more likely to seek out 04:43 some type of attention from other people. 04:47 Well, I think we give her enough attention, 04:50 we are going to do more, but sometimes I think my wife, 04:53 she's just on the phone constantly 04:55 and wouldn't pay any attention. 04:57 Well, let me clarify this, let me clarify this. 05:01 I want each person to look at themselves, 05:03 and see, so the pronoun is I. 05:07 What did I, is there anything I could have done differently 05:10 because otherwise, we'll just get into blaming, 05:12 that goes nowhere. 05:13 So is there anything either of you saw in the video 05:17 that maybe you could have done differently 05:20 that may have helped. 05:21 Now it doesn't mean it would have 05:22 because, you know, a perpetrator 05:24 is going to find a way. 05:26 But is there any way that you could have changed? 05:28 Any behaviors that you could have changed? 05:30 Well, I was in my man cave 05:32 a lot hanging out with my buddies. 05:34 And I admit that. 05:36 It's brand new though, you can understand that. 05:38 We had to come in 05:40 and have some fun at some point. 05:42 So how long have you hit the man cave? 05:44 We just built it couple weeks ago. 05:46 Okay, okay. 05:48 Yeah, and I guess for me, I'm always on the internet. 05:50 And I just assume because she was sitting there 05:52 with me on her phone that it was okay. 05:54 Okay. Yeah. 05:56 So you've been caught up with the internet yourself... 05:58 And he... You've been in your man cave. 06:01 Any other things that you saw in the video that... 06:05 One of the things that I didn't like 06:07 that I saw in the video was Lauren was sitting there 06:09 playing with her little cell phone games. 06:12 Well, we took care of that because we cell phone, 06:15 telephone, internet, computer, 06:18 anything that would have a plug. 06:20 I even unplugged her lamp 06:21 just in case there was a camera in there. 06:23 Well, wait a minute, before we go that far, 06:26 I really want us to key in on the video 06:28 because I saw some telling things. 06:30 I saw that Dad was asking you repeatedly, 06:34 "Let's go to the park. Let's go do something. 06:36 Let's, you know, enjoy ourselves." 06:38 Is there... 06:39 Did you guys ever do any of that? 06:42 No. We didn't. 06:45 Not really. We wanted to. 06:48 There's just not enough time in the day. 06:49 I mean, you know, just trying to keep up with everything 06:51 we have going on, yes, 06:52 I do have several friends on Facebook, on Twitter, 06:55 and I have to keep up with them. 06:57 And I just assume that, you know, again, 06:59 she's sitting there with me, I'm doing what I'm doing, 07:02 she's fine, she's safe, we're at home. 07:04 So I guess 501 friends you have. 07:06 Yeah, correct. 07:07 I mean, 500, if you join her, it's one. 07:09 Well, I'm busy hanging out with my buddies. 07:12 We go down to the man cave, we might watch sports, 07:15 but sometimes we get into discussions about the Bible 07:18 and have Bible studies. 07:19 So it's not like that's wrong. 07:21 Okay, let me ask you guys a question. 07:24 I want you to kind of look that way. 07:27 Turn your head that way. I want you to look that way. 07:30 Would you say this is the direction 07:32 your family was going, maybe? 07:35 Away from each other, you mean? Pretty much. 07:38 That's a good way to see I was going to say, 07:40 but that's a very good way to look at that 07:43 that maybe you're going in so many different ways 07:46 that you're not actually touching each other's lives. 07:50 I guess you're right about that. 07:51 We need to pay more attention to each other than we did. 07:55 So now I know this is a shock and it's very scary 07:59 and very frightening, and again, 08:01 it's not at all your fault. 08:03 That's not at all what we're talking about. 08:05 We're looking at from here moving forward 08:08 that this doesn't happen again. 08:09 So we have to make sure that whatever behaviors 08:12 that may be going on within the family 08:14 that could contribute to this 08:16 that we want to change those behaviors. 08:18 So what did you do once you found out about 08:21 the grown person talking to your child? 08:23 What did you do? Well, I got mad, first of all. 08:27 You know, after police ever tell me who he was... 08:29 Oh, man, but that's all I could do. 08:32 I was so upset, I felt hurt. 08:34 I really felt a little big guilty, you know. 08:37 I didn't plan for it to happen, but I see that now 08:40 if I'm not paying attention, 08:42 anything can happen with all this technology. 08:44 We'd have to be more careful. 08:46 Okay, so you guys contacted the police. 08:48 Did you do anything else? 08:49 Well, for one, she's not allowed to go anywhere 08:51 unless I go with her and or unless, 08:53 he's allowed to go with her. 08:54 So she's just grounded, I guess. 08:57 Well, I wouldn't call that a grounding. 08:59 I would consider it to be another step, 09:01 safety step because we don't know 09:03 how much she has as close to this grown person, 09:06 and we certainly don't want her to say 09:07 she's going to the store 09:09 and this person is going to meet her there. 09:11 So we're not going to look at it as grounding 09:13 but just to make sure that she is safe. 09:16 And that's really critical right now, 09:18 more than teaching her lessons, more than making sure 09:21 that she does what we tell her to do, 09:23 it's very important that she is kept safe. 09:25 She's just a 10-year-old, she's just a little girl. 09:28 Safety is the most important thing. 09:30 And again, I just feel sad about 09:33 how bad this could have really turned out. 09:35 It was a real blessing that we caught it 09:37 before anything extra happened. 09:39 These people out here are just crazy. 09:41 You have to watch your children now. 09:43 You can't just assume because they're in a room 09:45 where she was in her room, we were at home, 09:48 you just can't assume that's safe anymore. 09:51 So we're going to have to do a little better, 09:53 be more diligent about keeping up on 09:55 what's exactly going on. 09:56 Okay, yes, I think so. But how do you do that? 10:00 I mean, she was sitting next to me. 10:02 She's in the home, and yet she still gets exposed 10:04 to so much stuff. Right. 10:06 And I think that's the beauty of the internet 10:09 and that's the danger of the internet this way. 10:12 What kind of changes would you like to see 10:14 in your family as a result of this incident? 10:17 Before when you were coming in, we were talking about 10:20 creating pleasant memories anyway, right? 10:23 So what kind of changes would you like to see? 10:27 What do you think? 10:29 Well, for one, I think I need to be more aware 10:31 of who she is around. 10:32 And that's not just with the internet 10:34 but that's also people who enter our home. 10:36 Being mindful of who's there, their background, 10:40 if they have kids, a little bit about them too 10:42 because again, we never know. 10:44 We never know who we're bringing into our homes. 10:46 So you would like to know 10:47 who she's the interacting with on the internet, 10:50 you'd like to know who her friends are, 10:52 and who her... 10:53 The families of her friends, right? 10:55 Yeah. Okay. 10:56 And we're not talking about internet friends, 10:57 we're just talking about school friends, church friends, 11:01 all kinds of friends, right? 11:03 Okay. 11:04 I really would like to see friends in person. 11:07 If she has different friends, they come over to the house, 11:10 we get to know who they are, 11:12 get to know who their parents are. 11:14 It doesn't have to be always on the computer 11:16 or texting all the time. 11:18 Kids, now they're sitting right next 11:19 to each other texting one another. 11:21 Yeah. 11:22 There needs to be more social interaction person-to-person, 11:25 that's what I want to see happen. 11:27 Oh, okay. 11:28 So let's talk about how we can make that happen then, okay? 11:31 So let's look at some strategies. 11:33 The first thing is we're going to address safety issues first. 11:36 And you're doing that already, 11:37 so you're one step ahead of the game. 11:39 You've taken her computer from her or her cell phone. 11:44 And you are making sure that she travels with you 11:46 and she's not going places alone by herself for right now. 11:49 And you're also looking at getting to know her friends. 11:53 So I think you're already ahead of the game 11:55 and you should be pretty proud of yourself 11:56 for taking those steps already. 11:59 So now we're going to monitor all the electronics. 12:01 So we're going to make sure that 12:03 when she's on the computer, it's where we all can see it 12:07 and that we come by and make sure that we look at 12:10 what she has on the computer. 12:13 We may even sit down and train her about 12:15 what she can't go on, she can, and of course, 12:17 they have those children monitoring things 12:19 on the computer. 12:21 So you can find out about that. 12:24 You can have specific time set aside to use a computer. 12:27 And then her cell phone can be set up 12:29 where it's just the calls can only come to you 12:32 or to emergency phone numbers. 12:35 Oh, I like that. So you can make sure that... 12:38 Now she's not going to like it, but it is important that 12:41 you take safety is very important. 12:43 We're not even talking about consequences or punishments 12:46 because this is so important, and she has to get the message 12:49 that this is a very important thing. 12:51 Okay, and then let's go back to our primary goal. 12:54 Let's create some pleasant memories 12:56 so that she will be attracted within the family. 12:59 Now listen, you look this way, like this way, 13:01 and you look that way 13:03 and that the family are looking at each other 13:06 and that we find in each other the joy 13:08 that we're looking for, okay? 13:09 And so that may extend to... 13:12 Our extended family members. 13:14 We can have family fun night with them 13:16 or with her little friends, 13:18 but we want to start creating those positive memories, 13:21 and that will make it a little bit more difficult 13:23 for Lauren to reach outside of the family 13:26 for the socialization 13:27 that she decides only she wants. 13:29 Can we lock her up in our room? 13:31 How's that for safety? You know what? 13:33 We all want to lock our children in bedrooms 13:35 from time to time. 13:37 But I think that will get you in trouble. 13:38 So maybe we won't. 13:39 As long as you have a key to open the door, 13:41 what's the problem? 13:42 Okay because I don't think that's a good idea to do that. 13:45 So locking her in her room is not a good choice, 13:48 but showing her how to use the internet 13:51 is a very good choice, 13:52 showing her and limiting her cell phone use, 13:55 that's a really good choice. 13:57 Also, just spending time by giving her some type of time, 14:01 not just where we're just sitting next to her, 14:03 but where we're actually, maybe doing things, 14:06 putting a tent up or going fishing together 14:09 or spa day or whatever, 14:11 but something that's going to create a happy memory. 14:13 So, you know what that implies is Lauren has to like it. 14:17 So it can't be something I want to do, 14:20 but she doesn't want to do. 14:21 You know, so from judging from the video, 14:24 she does not want to be outside with bugs. 14:26 No, she doesn't. 14:28 So we probably outside stuff may not be the number one thing 14:31 that we go to for right away, okay? 14:33 Well, that sounds like great ideas. 14:34 I think we can try those. Yeah, I think we can. 14:37 And then the next day I'm going to suggest this 14:39 please, please, please 14:41 don't be too hard on yourselves. 14:43 I mean, people out there are just looking, 14:46 trying to find a way into children, 14:49 and vulnerable, even vulnerable adults 14:52 if they can. 14:53 So you cannot just beat yourselves up, 14:56 and don't think you're going to be have to spend 24 hours, 14:58 7 days a week, every minute with her. 15:00 That's not going to happen either. 15:02 We have to fortify her, build her up, 15:04 give her a sense of belonging so that she may not desire 15:09 to go outside of the home to find the attention 15:11 and the love that she's looking for, okay? 15:14 This sounds like a real opportunity for prayer, 15:16 I'd tell you that much. 15:18 It really is an opportunity for prayer. 15:20 And prayer together by yourselves, 15:21 and then you two with Lauren as well. 15:24 Keep the prayer going and stuff. 15:26 And so do you have any more questions? 15:30 No, not at this time. 15:31 Okay, then so then we're going to look to see 15:34 each other next week, 15:35 and I'm very sorry this has happened. 15:37 I know it's very scary and very frightening. 15:39 But you guys are going to work together and pray together, 15:42 and the Lord is going to fix all of this. 15:45 And just do your strategies, 15:47 and let's see what happens next week, okay? 15:50 Okay, thank you so much. All right, thanks. 15:51 You're welcome. 15:54 Hi, so how's everything going at home, 15:56 especially since the internet incident with Lauren, 15:59 how's she doing? 16:00 Well, I will say that 16:02 she is talking to us a little bit more. 16:03 Initially, it wasn't that way. 16:04 You know, she wouldn't talk to us, 16:06 she was still upset with us because we took her phone, 16:09 but she's doing a lot better now. 16:12 Yeah, she was really mad at first. 16:14 She was made at her friends for telling, 16:16 she was mad at us for taking her phone, 16:18 and she was mad at the police when we called the police. 16:21 But we had to let her know safety comes first 16:24 and that we didn't care that she was upset about things 16:27 that we're concerned to make sure 16:28 that she is safe at home. 16:30 Yeah, yeah, that is very important. 16:32 Well, let's take a look at the video. 16:34 As always, we really appreciate 16:36 you letting us come into your home 16:37 so that we can use it for our therapy sessions. 16:39 So let's take a look at the video. 16:41 I can't wait to go on our family vacation this year. 16:44 Last year in the mountains was really nice. 16:47 I remember when dad was driving down that mountain, 16:50 it was really scary. 16:52 Oh, baby girl, I had it all under control. 16:55 Yeah, right. 16:56 But I did enjoy this trip though. 16:58 The part I like most was shopping 16:59 and buying matching family T-shirts. 17:01 Well, I enjoyed the fishing the best. 17:03 And remember the fish got stuck in Lauren's hair? 17:06 She was jumping around screaming, 17:08 that was so hilarious. 17:09 It was. You even got it on video, Mom. 17:11 I did. 17:12 Really funny, Dad, 17:13 but I think that this year at the beach would be fun 17:16 because we get to go swimming, scuba diving, 17:18 and finding sea shells. 17:20 I planned for us to have a sunset dinner. 17:23 I think it would be nice if we took time 17:24 and had a beach side dinner at a very expensive restaurant. 17:27 Well, I'll tell you what, I'm just going to relax 17:30 on the beach and not worry about work. 17:33 This is going to be the best vacation ever. 17:35 Yeah. Yes. 17:38 Well, that's quite an improvement. 17:42 So Lauren certainly looks like 17:44 she's talking to you in that video right there. 17:46 Yeah, she has. 17:48 She's gotten much better, you know, 17:49 we've been working with her and talking to her some more, 17:51 so yeah, she's coming out of her little situation. 17:55 Okay, I just want to hit this internet 17:57 just a little bit more. 17:58 Now looking back on it and looking at this video, 18:02 do you feel that there is... 18:04 How do you feel about the incident now? 18:06 Well, I think back then we did allow her 18:08 to spend a little bit too much time 18:10 at a friend's home. 18:11 And now we're just inviting them to our home 18:13 if they want to spend time together. 18:14 Okay. 18:15 Also we weren't spending enough time with her, 18:18 so we've changed, and now we're spending 18:20 more time personally with her 18:22 instead of just sending her to her room 18:24 to play on the computer. 18:26 Okay, so we're going to talk about that. 18:27 Which safety strategies have worked best 18:30 for you guys so for? 18:31 Well, the one I like best is taking the phone from her. 18:34 I'm also trying to talk to her about safety 18:37 and about using the internet responsibly. 18:39 And another thing is just being able 18:41 to monitor her friends on Facebook 18:43 and all these other social medias, 18:45 you know, allowing her to have access to some things 18:48 but it has to be guided through us. 18:50 So you guys are still monitoring 18:52 her pretty closely with it. 18:54 I like what you said something about having her friends 18:56 over a little bit more. 18:58 Can you tell me something about that? 18:59 Well, one of the things we're trying to do 19:01 is just invite her friends over as well as their family. 19:05 So we've gotten a chance to spend time 19:07 with the moms and dads of her friends. 19:09 So by forming those relationships, 19:11 it just helps a little bit more to get to know the kids better 19:14 and seeing what we're exposing her to. 19:15 Now the parent whom daughter talked to about Lauren... 19:20 Correct. Do you know her name? 19:22 I do, yes. Okay. 19:23 And we have a great relationship. 19:25 Oh, that's very, very good. 19:26 Also what I do too that add more togetherness 19:30 between the whole family, I take Lauren out with me, 19:33 we go to the park, we go to the zoo, 19:35 all three of us go out together more often. 19:38 That way, we know who she's around, 19:41 and that again adds to the safety factor 19:43 instead of just telling her to go play, 19:45 you know, we go out with her, and like my wife said, 19:49 we know who her friends are more than we used to. 19:52 What else are you guys doing? 19:54 I know you have the safety things in place, 19:57 which is really good. 19:59 Are there any other things that you're doing 20:00 to help Lauren kind of feel a little bit more happy? 20:04 We have family nights. 20:07 We're able to talk more about things, me, 20:08 personally, I spend a little more time with her, 20:11 we do our little pedicures and we talk about school 20:14 and I talk about work. 20:16 We talk about even her aspirations 20:18 and what she's planning on doing in the future. 20:20 So I think it has drawn us a little bit closer, 20:22 spending this quality time together. 20:23 Okay. 20:24 And like I said, I focus more on safety. 20:27 So I have a little safety talks with her 20:29 and let her know about stranger danger 20:31 and calling 911, 20:33 or if she feels threatened to go to a police station 20:36 or the fire department, where they have safe places. 20:39 I don't tell her too much 20:40 because she's still just a young girl, 20:43 but I try and keep that on her mind 20:45 to just be careful out there. 20:46 Okay. 20:47 And another thing is personal space. 20:49 We've talked about that a lot. 20:50 As far as her comfort level, understanding that, 20:53 you know, people should only be so close to you, 20:56 you know, physically, and just like making sure 20:59 she understands what that looks like. 21:01 How are you addressing this from a spiritual perspective? 21:03 Are you doing anything spiritually with this? 21:07 Oh, definitely. So we pray every morning. 21:09 We have our devotion. 21:11 We are taking more time during the Sabbath hours 21:13 to have Bible studies 21:15 and addressed a lot of the issues 21:16 that she's faced with 21:17 because those same stories are in the Bible, 21:19 we can apply them to our lives. 21:20 Okay. 21:22 And also, we enrolled her 21:23 in the Pathfinders group at church. 21:24 So now she has friends from church 21:26 that she hangs out with, 21:28 and we know that the Pathfinders 21:30 are teaching her about nature, 21:31 teaching her about productivity, 21:34 about being a real benefit to the world 21:36 that she lives in as opposed to just getting on the computer 21:40 and just, what do you call, surfing the net, 21:42 instead of that she's actually learning 21:45 how to grow plants in gardens, take care of animals, 21:48 and that has really made a big difference 21:50 in her whole attitude. 21:51 It's great. 21:53 You're monitoring her use of the internet and technology? 21:56 And then you're monitoring her friends more, 21:58 and you're becoming more connected 21:59 with her friends as well, huh? 22:01 Right. Oh, okay. 22:02 It seems like you guys are putting a lot of effort, 22:04 a lot of good effort into helping Lauren. 22:06 Let's talk about creating those memories now. 22:09 That's what we were intentionally... 22:10 It's kind of like we're back on track 22:12 to where we were at first. 22:13 And sometimes it takes a crisis to get us back on track. 22:17 So let's talk about what we're doing 22:20 or what you're doing on a regular basis 22:23 to create good family memories? 22:27 Well, like my wife said, we go out 22:29 to different places together, we go out to dinner, 22:32 we always take our video camera 22:34 to the Pathfinder events so we can feel her marching 22:37 and holding the flag and those type of things. 22:40 And of course, the church has plenty of functions 22:42 with the Adventist youth department, 22:45 the family life department, 22:47 there's always something going on. 22:49 Okay, so you guys are taking in 22:51 more of those activities as well, right? 22:53 And we also do our nature walks as well. 22:55 We go, after Sabbath, we go on nature walk, 22:57 and we talk about God's creation. 23:00 She was a little antsy about 23:02 getting out there with the bugs, 23:03 but she came around, 23:05 and, you know, we're working it out. 23:07 Sometimes we even go to the museum 23:09 or even to the zoo. 23:10 You know, one of the nicest things too is that we do, 23:13 like my wife said, we watch TV together. 23:15 So we always tune into Dare to Dream network 23:18 and also 3ABN 23:20 because they have terrific programs for kids. 23:22 Oh, that's pretty cool. That is really good. 23:25 You know, I want to ask you how are you two doing now, 23:28 I mean emotionally, you were really upset, 23:31 angry, and frustrated... 23:32 Exhausted. Oh, yeah, we were furious. 23:34 Feeling guilty. More and more sleepless nights. 23:37 How are you now? 23:38 Well, I feel relaxed, more alert, I'll tell you that. 23:42 I'm more alert to what danger there are 23:44 and becoming more alert to what's out there 23:47 has helped me to learn about things a little more, 23:49 so I've been doing some reading up on safety 23:52 on the internet, etcetera. 23:54 And then another thing that we do, 23:55 as a family together, we like to sit down 23:58 and watch Dare to Dream network or 3ABN broadcasting 24:01 because they have some terrific family programming. 24:03 Yes. Okay, that sounds really good. 24:06 So you guys are really covering the basics. 24:09 What I really like to know is how are you two doing? 24:11 The last time you guys were very, very upset about 24:14 what had happened, and rightfully so, 24:16 so you were very angry, you were frustrated, 24:19 how are you doing today? 24:21 Well, I was really furious about the whole thing, 24:24 but I've calmed down, you know, I've been praying about it, 24:27 and done some more research on internet safety, 24:30 so that's really been helping me 24:32 to just realize what happened 24:34 and then do what I can to prevent it 24:36 from happening in the future. 24:38 Yeah. 24:39 And for me, I just felt so guilty, 24:41 you know, not being able 24:42 to be there for her to protect her, 24:44 but then also just feeling 24:45 as if she didn't want to come to me. 24:47 But, you know, through prayer, definitely, 24:50 the Lord has just shown me that outside 24:51 of what I can do for my child, 24:53 He is the ultimate supplier, right? 24:54 And so He even protects us when parents can't. 24:57 So I've learnt to just rest in that and trust Him for that. 25:00 That's really great, that is great. 25:03 So I want to give you just a few more strategies. 25:05 Okay? Okay. 25:07 Which some you may already have. 25:08 I want you to continue to be intentional about 25:11 building a relationship. 25:13 Whether you realize it or not, when you spend time 25:16 with your child like going fishing 25:18 and going to Pathfinders 25:20 and staying there to cheer her on, 25:22 that's building a relationship with her. 25:24 And that is really the best and most safest thing 25:27 we can do for our children to have a relationship. 25:29 Like you said, she likes to talk to you now, 25:31 and that's very important, and you're having fun with her, 25:33 so that's very important. 25:35 And I want you to pay attention 25:36 to the new people coming into her lives. 25:38 When she says a new name, then you listen. 25:42 Pay close attention. 25:43 You can ask questions, but be careful. 25:46 Don't send... 25:47 Ask questions in such a way that it may make her shut down 25:50 like "Who is that?" 25:51 We may not want to do that. "How did you meet that person? 25:54 Oh, is this the person at your class?" 25:57 Open into questions so that she can expound 25:59 on who this person is. 26:01 If you feel something that's not good, 26:03 you don't have to call her in right then. 26:05 You can wait and kind of listen 26:07 more and more for the information. 26:09 Do a little bit of background check for yourselves. 26:12 And then you can stay close to her. 26:14 And some people think that as the child gets older, 26:17 like teenagers, then we let them go. 26:20 That's when you really need to hold on to. 26:23 You know, lot of people can't wait 26:25 to give the children their little driver's licenses 26:28 so they can be free. 26:30 Oh, not so good that all teenagers 26:32 need all of their freedom at one time, 26:33 but you definitely want to stay close emotionally, 26:37 and I hear you guys saying that you're doing praying, 26:40 make sure that you help Lauren 26:42 to establish her relationship with God. 26:43 So let the Spirit of God just kind of speak to her too. 26:46 Do you have any questions or any anything 26:49 that you'd like to add? 26:52 I don't have any questions, do you? 26:54 No, not at this time. 26:55 Well, it's really great to see that 26:57 you guys are feeling a lot better. 26:59 I can only imagine how scary that was for you. 27:02 And I do want to commend you for talking to the police, 27:05 calling them because some... 27:07 Often people just minimize this, I mean, 27:10 this could have been a major problem, 27:11 but I think you did a great job 27:13 at stopping it at the very beginning, 27:15 and that goes a long way. 27:18 So we're probably going to have a closing session 27:20 in a couple of weeks. 27:22 I'll get back with you on the exact date. 27:24 Thank you for coming in. 27:26 And I really appreciate you guys. 27:30 Parents, it's easy to get distracted. 27:33 There are so many things clamoring for your time. 27:36 Children are very vulnerable. They need your protection. 27:40 Any good thing can be used for evil in the wrong hands. 27:44 An Inspired writer, Ellen White wrote, 27:46 "Press together, press together, 27:48 press together." 27:49 She was talking about believers in Christ. 27:52 How much more shall we do that for our children? 27:55 They need a loving, guiding hand to keep them safe. 27:58 Everyone who meets your child is not a safe person. 28:01 So we want to make sure that you spend as much time 28:04 with your children as you possibly can, 28:07 and make sure that you are creating 28:08 good, happy memories. 28:10 You have to discipline, don't let discipline be 28:12 the only thing you do with your children. 28:15 There'll be a time in the day 28:17 when they will have their own children, 28:18 and they'll remember all the good times 28:21 that you have shared with them. 28:22 Make this a great day. |
Revised 2018-07-23