Pumped Up Parents

Giving A Life Script

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript



Series Code: PUP

Program Code: PUP000004A

00:07 Hey, you guys won't believe it.
00:09 They're having a free concert over at the park.
00:10 You want to go over to the park and watch the free concert?
00:12 Shh, be quiet.
00:13 I just made level five on my game.
00:15 Yes, can you please be quiet. I just made another friend.
00:16 Now I have 500.
00:17 Look, I just want to know if you want to go to the park,
00:20 watch the free concert,
00:22 and we can even go out for dinner afterward.
00:24 How about that?
00:25 Is anybody interested? Mom, mom.
00:29 Mother, mommy.
00:31 Mom! Mom!
00:33 Oh yeah, I just made it to another bonus round.
00:37 Yeah, yeah, I guess we can go.
00:39 Just let me finish like in this camp video.
00:42 Oh, no, wait, Sharon asked me to check out
00:43 something online for her.
00:46 Maybe you can go with Lauren and bring me something back.
00:49 Wait, do you mean the park outside?
00:51 Of course.
00:52 There are way too many bugs outside.
00:54 Mom, please don't make me go.
00:57 I'm competing with Jamie to see who can reach level 10 first.
01:00 All we ever do is stay in this house.
01:02 We never do anything together.
01:05 Really, I asked you to friend me online,
01:07 that way we can hook up any time.
01:10 Then that'll make 501 friends.
01:12 Besides, we just watched a game with you last night.
01:15 You guys were already on your social media when I asked.
01:18 And then you came in,
01:19 you just watched me watch the game.
01:22 Oh, wait a minute.
01:24 Oh, I forgot Joe's coming over to hook up
01:27 my surround sound in the man cave.
01:29 Then we're going to watch the game together.
01:31 So I'll see you guys later.
01:33 Bye. Bye.
02:16 Thanks for letting us record you in your home
02:19 to seeing what's really going on there.
02:21 You guys seem very anxious and upset.
02:23 What's going on? Yeah, we're upset.
02:25 You won't believe what happened.
02:27 We got a real problem at home. Yes, we do.
02:29 All this mess with this Internet, and Lauren,
02:32 she was on the internet and got in touch
02:35 with some crazy adult person.
02:36 What? Yeah, it was ridiculous.
02:38 So what was she doing?
02:40 She was on the internet, and we were at home
02:43 when she was doing it, just sneaking around.
02:45 And some crazy adult got in touch with her
02:48 and been contacting her.
02:50 Really been contacting on a regular basis?
02:52 Yes. Okay, that's weird.
02:53 And we only found out because a friend of hers,
02:56 she actually told her friend's mother.
02:59 And her mother, she came back and told us.
03:01 Wow, that was really a blessing
03:04 that she came and told you guys.
03:06 So, and on the video we saw Lauren was very involved,
03:09 and she was saying she was playing a game.
03:11 Do you think she may have been talking to a person then?
03:13 I don't know.
03:15 We just found out, you know, from the friend's mom.
03:18 And then we called the police, of course,
03:20 hoping for that they would help us.
03:22 You won't believe this.
03:24 One of the police tried to actually blame us
03:27 for not being there,
03:28 saying that we left her unattended,
03:30 and that we should know better.
03:32 The other policemen were great and very helpful,
03:34 but this one guy, it was ridiculous.
03:39 I'm just still upset because she told
03:41 somebody other than me.
03:42 I would just want her to trust me, and she didn't.
03:44 So I'm happy that someone was told,
03:46 but it could've been me.
03:47 It could have been.
03:49 And I understand that feeling angry and frustrated
03:51 'cause you feel little guilt at all about it too.
03:53 Of course.
03:54 You know, being in the same house
03:55 and not knowing what our kids are doing,
03:57 that just makes no sense.
03:58 And I just felt like, you know, she was sneaking around
04:00 and just didn't want to share with us.
04:02 We thought...
04:04 So it's one thing to be at school and doing it,
04:06 but to be at home and talking to this person,
04:08 and we don't even know, that's a problem.
04:10 I'm just so upset.
04:12 We've thought this five minutes that we were spending with her
04:14 every day was enough.
04:16 But you know what, it's never enough.
04:18 We can't figure out how we're going to spend enough time
04:21 to keep this from ever happening again.
04:24 Well, we looked at the video.
04:26 Did you see any behaviors that you were doing that
04:29 may have contributed?
04:30 I'm not saying it's your fault at all
04:32 because the adult in this situation
04:34 is clearly wrong.
04:36 But I'm just wondering maybe there was something
04:38 that made her a little bit more likely to seek out
04:43 some type of attention from other people.
04:47 Well, I think we give her enough attention,
04:50 we are going to do more, but sometimes I think my wife,
04:53 she's just on the phone constantly
04:55 and wouldn't pay any attention.
04:57 Well, let me clarify this, let me clarify this.
05:01 I want each person to look at themselves,
05:03 and see, so the pronoun is I.
05:07 What did I, is there anything I could have done differently
05:10 because otherwise, we'll just get into blaming,
05:12 that goes nowhere.
05:13 So is there anything either of you saw in the video
05:17 that maybe you could have done differently
05:20 that may have helped.
05:21 Now it doesn't mean it would have
05:22 because, you know, a perpetrator
05:24 is going to find a way.
05:26 But is there any way that you could have changed?
05:28 Any behaviors that you could have changed?
05:30 Well, I was in my man cave
05:32 a lot hanging out with my buddies.
05:34 And I admit that.
05:36 It's brand new though, you can understand that.
05:38 We had to come in
05:40 and have some fun at some point.
05:42 So how long have you hit the man cave?
05:44 We just built it couple weeks ago.
05:46 Okay, okay.
05:48 Yeah, and I guess for me, I'm always on the internet.
05:50 And I just assume because she was sitting there
05:52 with me on her phone that it was okay.
05:54 Okay. Yeah.
05:56 So you've been caught up with the internet yourself...
05:58 And he... You've been in your man cave.
06:01 Any other things that you saw in the video that...
06:05 One of the things that I didn't like
06:07 that I saw in the video was Lauren was sitting there
06:09 playing with her little cell phone games.
06:12 Well, we took care of that because we cell phone,
06:15 telephone, internet, computer,
06:18 anything that would have a plug.
06:20 I even unplugged her lamp
06:21 just in case there was a camera in there.
06:23 Well, wait a minute, before we go that far,
06:26 I really want us to key in on the video
06:28 because I saw some telling things.
06:30 I saw that Dad was asking you repeatedly,
06:34 "Let's go to the park. Let's go do something.
06:36 Let's, you know, enjoy ourselves."
06:38 Is there...
06:39 Did you guys ever do any of that?
06:42 No. We didn't.
06:45 Not really. We wanted to.
06:48 There's just not enough time in the day.
06:49 I mean, you know, just trying to keep up with everything
06:51 we have going on, yes,
06:52 I do have several friends on Facebook, on Twitter,
06:55 and I have to keep up with them.
06:57 And I just assume that, you know, again,
06:59 she's sitting there with me, I'm doing what I'm doing,
07:02 she's fine, she's safe, we're at home.
07:04 So I guess 501 friends you have.
07:06 Yeah, correct.
07:07 I mean, 500, if you join her, it's one.
07:09 Well, I'm busy hanging out with my buddies.
07:12 We go down to the man cave, we might watch sports,
07:15 but sometimes we get into discussions about the Bible
07:18 and have Bible studies.
07:19 So it's not like that's wrong.
07:21 Okay, let me ask you guys a question.
07:24 I want you to kind of look that way.
07:27 Turn your head that way. I want you to look that way.
07:30 Would you say this is the direction
07:32 your family was going, maybe?
07:35 Away from each other, you mean? Pretty much.
07:38 That's a good way to see I was going to say,
07:40 but that's a very good way to look at that
07:43 that maybe you're going in so many different ways
07:46 that you're not actually touching each other's lives.
07:50 I guess you're right about that.
07:51 We need to pay more attention to each other than we did.
07:55 So now I know this is a shock and it's very scary
07:59 and very frightening, and again,
08:01 it's not at all your fault.
08:03 That's not at all what we're talking about.
08:05 We're looking at from here moving forward
08:08 that this doesn't happen again.
08:09 So we have to make sure that whatever behaviors
08:12 that may be going on within the family
08:14 that could contribute to this
08:16 that we want to change those behaviors.
08:18 So what did you do once you found out about
08:21 the grown person talking to your child?
08:23 What did you do? Well, I got mad, first of all.
08:27 You know, after police ever tell me who he was...
08:29 Oh, man, but that's all I could do.
08:32 I was so upset, I felt hurt.
08:34 I really felt a little big guilty, you know.
08:37 I didn't plan for it to happen, but I see that now
08:40 if I'm not paying attention,
08:42 anything can happen with all this technology.
08:44 We'd have to be more careful.
08:46 Okay, so you guys contacted the police.
08:48 Did you do anything else?
08:49 Well, for one, she's not allowed to go anywhere
08:51 unless I go with her and or unless,
08:53 he's allowed to go with her.
08:54 So she's just grounded, I guess.
08:57 Well, I wouldn't call that a grounding.
08:59 I would consider it to be another step,
09:01 safety step because we don't know
09:03 how much she has as close to this grown person,
09:06 and we certainly don't want her to say
09:07 she's going to the store
09:09 and this person is going to meet her there.
09:11 So we're not going to look at it as grounding
09:13 but just to make sure that she is safe.
09:16 And that's really critical right now,
09:18 more than teaching her lessons, more than making sure
09:21 that she does what we tell her to do,
09:23 it's very important that she is kept safe.
09:25 She's just a 10-year-old, she's just a little girl.
09:28 Safety is the most important thing.
09:30 And again, I just feel sad about
09:33 how bad this could have really turned out.
09:35 It was a real blessing that we caught it
09:37 before anything extra happened.
09:39 These people out here are just crazy.
09:41 You have to watch your children now.
09:43 You can't just assume because they're in a room
09:45 where she was in her room, we were at home,
09:48 you just can't assume that's safe anymore.
09:51 So we're going to have to do a little better,
09:53 be more diligent about keeping up on
09:55 what's exactly going on.
09:56 Okay, yes, I think so. But how do you do that?
10:00 I mean, she was sitting next to me.
10:02 She's in the home, and yet she still gets exposed
10:04 to so much stuff. Right.
10:06 And I think that's the beauty of the internet
10:09 and that's the danger of the internet this way.
10:12 What kind of changes would you like to see
10:14 in your family as a result of this incident?
10:17 Before when you were coming in, we were talking about
10:20 creating pleasant memories anyway, right?
10:23 So what kind of changes would you like to see?
10:27 What do you think?
10:29 Well, for one, I think I need to be more aware
10:31 of who she is around.
10:32 And that's not just with the internet
10:34 but that's also people who enter our home.
10:36 Being mindful of who's there, their background,
10:40 if they have kids, a little bit about them too
10:42 because again, we never know.
10:44 We never know who we're bringing into our homes.
10:46 So you would like to know
10:47 who she's the interacting with on the internet,
10:50 you'd like to know who her friends are,
10:52 and who her...
10:53 The families of her friends, right?
10:55 Yeah. Okay.
10:56 And we're not talking about internet friends,
10:57 we're just talking about school friends, church friends,
11:01 all kinds of friends, right?
11:03 Okay.
11:04 I really would like to see friends in person.
11:07 If she has different friends, they come over to the house,
11:10 we get to know who they are,
11:12 get to know who their parents are.
11:14 It doesn't have to be always on the computer
11:16 or texting all the time.
11:18 Kids, now they're sitting right next
11:19 to each other texting one another.
11:21 Yeah.
11:22 There needs to be more social interaction person-to-person,
11:25 that's what I want to see happen.
11:27 Oh, okay.
11:28 So let's talk about how we can make that happen then, okay?
11:31 So let's look at some strategies.
11:33 The first thing is we're going to address safety issues first.
11:36 And you're doing that already,
11:37 so you're one step ahead of the game.
11:39 You've taken her computer from her or her cell phone.
11:44 And you are making sure that she travels with you
11:46 and she's not going places alone by herself for right now.
11:49 And you're also looking at getting to know her friends.
11:53 So I think you're already ahead of the game
11:55 and you should be pretty proud of yourself
11:56 for taking those steps already.
11:59 So now we're going to monitor all the electronics.
12:01 So we're going to make sure that
12:03 when she's on the computer, it's where we all can see it
12:07 and that we come by and make sure that we look at
12:10 what she has on the computer.
12:13 We may even sit down and train her about
12:15 what she can't go on, she can, and of course,
12:17 they have those children monitoring things
12:19 on the computer.
12:21 So you can find out about that.
12:24 You can have specific time set aside to use a computer.
12:27 And then her cell phone can be set up
12:29 where it's just the calls can only come to you
12:32 or to emergency phone numbers.
12:35 Oh, I like that. So you can make sure that...
12:38 Now she's not going to like it, but it is important that
12:41 you take safety is very important.
12:43 We're not even talking about consequences or punishments
12:46 because this is so important, and she has to get the message
12:49 that this is a very important thing.
12:51 Okay, and then let's go back to our primary goal.
12:54 Let's create some pleasant memories
12:56 so that she will be attracted within the family.
12:59 Now listen, you look this way, like this way,
13:01 and you look that way
13:03 and that the family are looking at each other
13:06 and that we find in each other the joy
13:08 that we're looking for, okay?
13:09 And so that may extend to...
13:12 Our extended family members.
13:14 We can have family fun night with them
13:16 or with her little friends,
13:18 but we want to start creating those positive memories,
13:21 and that will make it a little bit more difficult
13:23 for Lauren to reach outside of the family
13:26 for the socialization
13:27 that she decides only she wants.
13:29 Can we lock her up in our room?
13:31 How's that for safety? You know what?
13:33 We all want to lock our children in bedrooms
13:35 from time to time.
13:37 But I think that will get you in trouble.
13:38 So maybe we won't.
13:39 As long as you have a key to open the door,
13:41 what's the problem?
13:42 Okay because I don't think that's a good idea to do that.
13:45 So locking her in her room is not a good choice,
13:48 but showing her how to use the internet
13:51 is a very good choice,
13:52 showing her and limiting her cell phone use,
13:55 that's a really good choice.
13:57 Also, just spending time by giving her some type of time,
14:01 not just where we're just sitting next to her,
14:03 but where we're actually, maybe doing things,
14:06 putting a tent up or going fishing together
14:09 or spa day or whatever,
14:11 but something that's going to create a happy memory.
14:13 So, you know what that implies is Lauren has to like it.
14:17 So it can't be something I want to do,
14:20 but she doesn't want to do.
14:21 You know, so from judging from the video,
14:24 she does not want to be outside with bugs.
14:26 No, she doesn't.
14:28 So we probably outside stuff may not be the number one thing
14:31 that we go to for right away, okay?
14:33 Well, that sounds like great ideas.
14:34 I think we can try those. Yeah, I think we can.
14:37 And then the next day I'm going to suggest this
14:39 please, please, please
14:41 don't be too hard on yourselves.
14:43 I mean, people out there are just looking,
14:46 trying to find a way into children,
14:49 and vulnerable, even vulnerable adults
14:52 if they can.
14:53 So you cannot just beat yourselves up,
14:56 and don't think you're going to be have to spend 24 hours,
14:58 7 days a week, every minute with her.
15:00 That's not going to happen either.
15:02 We have to fortify her, build her up,
15:04 give her a sense of belonging so that she may not desire
15:09 to go outside of the home to find the attention
15:11 and the love that she's looking for, okay?
15:14 This sounds like a real opportunity for prayer,
15:16 I'd tell you that much.
15:18 It really is an opportunity for prayer.
15:20 And prayer together by yourselves,
15:21 and then you two with Lauren as well.
15:24 Keep the prayer going and stuff.
15:26 And so do you have any more questions?
15:30 No, not at this time.
15:31 Okay, then so then we're going to look to see
15:34 each other next week,
15:35 and I'm very sorry this has happened.
15:37 I know it's very scary and very frightening.
15:39 But you guys are going to work together and pray together,
15:42 and the Lord is going to fix all of this.
15:45 And just do your strategies,
15:47 and let's see what happens next week, okay?
15:50 Okay, thank you so much. All right, thanks.
15:51 You're welcome.
15:54 Hi, so how's everything going at home,
15:56 especially since the internet incident with Lauren,
15:59 how's she doing?
16:00 Well, I will say that
16:02 she is talking to us a little bit more.
16:03 Initially, it wasn't that way.
16:04 You know, she wouldn't talk to us,
16:06 she was still upset with us because we took her phone,
16:09 but she's doing a lot better now.
16:12 Yeah, she was really mad at first.
16:14 She was made at her friends for telling,
16:16 she was mad at us for taking her phone,
16:18 and she was mad at the police when we called the police.
16:21 But we had to let her know safety comes first
16:24 and that we didn't care that she was upset about things
16:27 that we're concerned to make sure
16:28 that she is safe at home.
16:30 Yeah, yeah, that is very important.
16:32 Well, let's take a look at the video.
16:34 As always, we really appreciate
16:36 you letting us come into your home
16:37 so that we can use it for our therapy sessions.
16:39 So let's take a look at the video.
16:41 I can't wait to go on our family vacation this year.
16:44 Last year in the mountains was really nice.
16:47 I remember when dad was driving down that mountain,
16:50 it was really scary.
16:52 Oh, baby girl, I had it all under control.
16:55 Yeah, right.
16:56 But I did enjoy this trip though.
16:58 The part I like most was shopping
16:59 and buying matching family T-shirts.
17:01 Well, I enjoyed the fishing the best.
17:03 And remember the fish got stuck in Lauren's hair?
17:06 She was jumping around screaming,
17:08 that was so hilarious.
17:09 It was. You even got it on video, Mom.
17:11 I did.
17:12 Really funny, Dad,
17:13 but I think that this year at the beach would be fun
17:16 because we get to go swimming, scuba diving,
17:18 and finding sea shells.
17:20 I planned for us to have a sunset dinner.
17:23 I think it would be nice if we took time
17:24 and had a beach side dinner at a very expensive restaurant.
17:27 Well, I'll tell you what, I'm just going to relax
17:30 on the beach and not worry about work.
17:33 This is going to be the best vacation ever.
17:35 Yeah. Yes.
17:38 Well, that's quite an improvement.
17:42 So Lauren certainly looks like
17:44 she's talking to you in that video right there.
17:46 Yeah, she has.
17:48 She's gotten much better, you know,
17:49 we've been working with her and talking to her some more,
17:51 so yeah, she's coming out of her little situation.
17:55 Okay, I just want to hit this internet
17:57 just a little bit more.
17:58 Now looking back on it and looking at this video,
18:02 do you feel that there is...
18:04 How do you feel about the incident now?
18:06 Well, I think back then we did allow her
18:08 to spend a little bit too much time
18:10 at a friend's home.
18:11 And now we're just inviting them to our home
18:13 if they want to spend time together.
18:14 Okay.
18:15 Also we weren't spending enough time with her,
18:18 so we've changed, and now we're spending
18:20 more time personally with her
18:22 instead of just sending her to her room
18:24 to play on the computer.
18:26 Okay, so we're going to talk about that.
18:27 Which safety strategies have worked best
18:30 for you guys so for?
18:31 Well, the one I like best is taking the phone from her.
18:34 I'm also trying to talk to her about safety
18:37 and about using the internet responsibly.
18:39 And another thing is just being able
18:41 to monitor her friends on Facebook
18:43 and all these other social medias,
18:45 you know, allowing her to have access to some things
18:48 but it has to be guided through us.
18:50 So you guys are still monitoring
18:52 her pretty closely with it.
18:54 I like what you said something about having her friends
18:56 over a little bit more.
18:58 Can you tell me something about that?
18:59 Well, one of the things we're trying to do
19:01 is just invite her friends over as well as their family.
19:05 So we've gotten a chance to spend time
19:07 with the moms and dads of her friends.
19:09 So by forming those relationships,
19:11 it just helps a little bit more to get to know the kids better
19:14 and seeing what we're exposing her to.
19:15 Now the parent whom daughter talked to about Lauren...
19:20 Correct. Do you know her name?
19:22 I do, yes. Okay.
19:23 And we have a great relationship.
19:25 Oh, that's very, very good.
19:26 Also what I do too that add more togetherness
19:30 between the whole family, I take Lauren out with me,
19:33 we go to the park, we go to the zoo,
19:35 all three of us go out together more often.
19:38 That way, we know who she's around,
19:41 and that again adds to the safety factor
19:43 instead of just telling her to go play,
19:45 you know, we go out with her, and like my wife said,
19:49 we know who her friends are more than we used to.
19:52 What else are you guys doing?
19:54 I know you have the safety things in place,
19:57 which is really good.
19:59 Are there any other things that you're doing
20:00 to help Lauren kind of feel a little bit more happy?
20:04 We have family nights.
20:07 We're able to talk more about things, me,
20:08 personally, I spend a little more time with her,
20:11 we do our little pedicures and we talk about school
20:14 and I talk about work.
20:16 We talk about even her aspirations
20:18 and what she's planning on doing in the future.
20:20 So I think it has drawn us a little bit closer,
20:22 spending this quality time together.
20:23 Okay.
20:24 And like I said, I focus more on safety.
20:27 So I have a little safety talks with her
20:29 and let her know about stranger danger
20:31 and calling 911,
20:33 or if she feels threatened to go to a police station
20:36 or the fire department, where they have safe places.
20:39 I don't tell her too much
20:40 because she's still just a young girl,
20:43 but I try and keep that on her mind
20:45 to just be careful out there.
20:46 Okay.
20:47 And another thing is personal space.
20:49 We've talked about that a lot.
20:50 As far as her comfort level, understanding that,
20:53 you know, people should only be so close to you,
20:56 you know, physically, and just like making sure
20:59 she understands what that looks like.
21:01 How are you addressing this from a spiritual perspective?
21:03 Are you doing anything spiritually with this?
21:07 Oh, definitely. So we pray every morning.
21:09 We have our devotion.
21:11 We are taking more time during the Sabbath hours
21:13 to have Bible studies
21:15 and addressed a lot of the issues
21:16 that she's faced with
21:17 because those same stories are in the Bible,
21:19 we can apply them to our lives.
21:20 Okay.
21:22 And also, we enrolled her
21:23 in the Pathfinders group at church.
21:24 So now she has friends from church
21:26 that she hangs out with,
21:28 and we know that the Pathfinders
21:30 are teaching her about nature,
21:31 teaching her about productivity,
21:34 about being a real benefit to the world
21:36 that she lives in as opposed to just getting on the computer
21:40 and just, what do you call, surfing the net,
21:42 instead of that she's actually learning
21:45 how to grow plants in gardens, take care of animals,
21:48 and that has really made a big difference
21:50 in her whole attitude.
21:51 It's great.
21:53 You're monitoring her use of the internet and technology?
21:56 And then you're monitoring her friends more,
21:58 and you're becoming more connected
21:59 with her friends as well, huh?
22:01 Right. Oh, okay.
22:02 It seems like you guys are putting a lot of effort,
22:04 a lot of good effort into helping Lauren.
22:06 Let's talk about creating those memories now.
22:09 That's what we were intentionally...
22:10 It's kind of like we're back on track
22:12 to where we were at first.
22:13 And sometimes it takes a crisis to get us back on track.
22:17 So let's talk about what we're doing
22:20 or what you're doing on a regular basis
22:23 to create good family memories?
22:27 Well, like my wife said, we go out
22:29 to different places together, we go out to dinner,
22:32 we always take our video camera
22:34 to the Pathfinder events so we can feel her marching
22:37 and holding the flag and those type of things.
22:40 And of course, the church has plenty of functions
22:42 with the Adventist youth department,
22:45 the family life department,
22:47 there's always something going on.
22:49 Okay, so you guys are taking in
22:51 more of those activities as well, right?
22:53 And we also do our nature walks as well.
22:55 We go, after Sabbath, we go on nature walk,
22:57 and we talk about God's creation.
23:00 She was a little antsy about
23:02 getting out there with the bugs,
23:03 but she came around,
23:05 and, you know, we're working it out.
23:07 Sometimes we even go to the museum
23:09 or even to the zoo.
23:10 You know, one of the nicest things too is that we do,
23:13 like my wife said, we watch TV together.
23:15 So we always tune into Dare to Dream network
23:18 and also 3ABN
23:20 because they have terrific programs for kids.
23:22 Oh, that's pretty cool. That is really good.
23:25 You know, I want to ask you how are you two doing now,
23:28 I mean emotionally, you were really upset,
23:31 angry, and frustrated...
23:32 Exhausted. Oh, yeah, we were furious.
23:34 Feeling guilty. More and more sleepless nights.
23:37 How are you now?
23:38 Well, I feel relaxed, more alert, I'll tell you that.
23:42 I'm more alert to what danger there are
23:44 and becoming more alert to what's out there
23:47 has helped me to learn about things a little more,
23:49 so I've been doing some reading up on safety
23:52 on the internet, etcetera.
23:54 And then another thing that we do,
23:55 as a family together, we like to sit down
23:58 and watch Dare to Dream network or 3ABN broadcasting
24:01 because they have some terrific family programming.
24:03 Yes. Okay, that sounds really good.
24:06 So you guys are really covering the basics.
24:09 What I really like to know is how are you two doing?
24:11 The last time you guys were very, very upset about
24:14 what had happened, and rightfully so,
24:16 so you were very angry, you were frustrated,
24:19 how are you doing today?
24:21 Well, I was really furious about the whole thing,
24:24 but I've calmed down, you know, I've been praying about it,
24:27 and done some more research on internet safety,
24:30 so that's really been helping me
24:32 to just realize what happened
24:34 and then do what I can to prevent it
24:36 from happening in the future.
24:38 Yeah.
24:39 And for me, I just felt so guilty,
24:41 you know, not being able
24:42 to be there for her to protect her,
24:44 but then also just feeling
24:45 as if she didn't want to come to me.
24:47 But, you know, through prayer, definitely,
24:50 the Lord has just shown me that outside
24:51 of what I can do for my child,
24:53 He is the ultimate supplier, right?
24:54 And so He even protects us when parents can't.
24:57 So I've learnt to just rest in that and trust Him for that.
25:00 That's really great, that is great.
25:03 So I want to give you just a few more strategies.
25:05 Okay? Okay.
25:07 Which some you may already have.
25:08 I want you to continue to be intentional about
25:11 building a relationship.
25:13 Whether you realize it or not, when you spend time
25:16 with your child like going fishing
25:18 and going to Pathfinders
25:20 and staying there to cheer her on,
25:22 that's building a relationship with her.
25:24 And that is really the best and most safest thing
25:27 we can do for our children to have a relationship.
25:29 Like you said, she likes to talk to you now,
25:31 and that's very important, and you're having fun with her,
25:33 so that's very important.
25:35 And I want you to pay attention
25:36 to the new people coming into her lives.
25:38 When she says a new name, then you listen.
25:42 Pay close attention.
25:43 You can ask questions, but be careful.
25:46 Don't send...
25:47 Ask questions in such a way that it may make her shut down
25:50 like "Who is that?"
25:51 We may not want to do that. "How did you meet that person?
25:54 Oh, is this the person at your class?"
25:57 Open into questions so that she can expound
25:59 on who this person is.
26:01 If you feel something that's not good,
26:03 you don't have to call her in right then.
26:05 You can wait and kind of listen
26:07 more and more for the information.
26:09 Do a little bit of background check for yourselves.
26:12 And then you can stay close to her.
26:14 And some people think that as the child gets older,
26:17 like teenagers, then we let them go.
26:20 That's when you really need to hold on to.
26:23 You know, lot of people can't wait
26:25 to give the children their little driver's licenses
26:28 so they can be free.
26:30 Oh, not so good that all teenagers
26:32 need all of their freedom at one time,
26:33 but you definitely want to stay close emotionally,
26:37 and I hear you guys saying that you're doing praying,
26:40 make sure that you help Lauren
26:42 to establish her relationship with God.
26:43 So let the Spirit of God just kind of speak to her too.
26:46 Do you have any questions or any anything
26:49 that you'd like to add?
26:52 I don't have any questions, do you?
26:54 No, not at this time.
26:55 Well, it's really great to see that
26:57 you guys are feeling a lot better.
26:59 I can only imagine how scary that was for you.
27:02 And I do want to commend you for talking to the police,
27:05 calling them because some...
27:07 Often people just minimize this, I mean,
27:10 this could have been a major problem,
27:11 but I think you did a great job
27:13 at stopping it at the very beginning,
27:15 and that goes a long way.
27:18 So we're probably going to have a closing session
27:20 in a couple of weeks.
27:22 I'll get back with you on the exact date.
27:24 Thank you for coming in.
27:26 And I really appreciate you guys.
27:30 Parents, it's easy to get distracted.
27:33 There are so many things clamoring for your time.
27:36 Children are very vulnerable. They need your protection.
27:40 Any good thing can be used for evil in the wrong hands.
27:44 An Inspired writer, Ellen White wrote,
27:46 "Press together, press together,
27:48 press together."
27:49 She was talking about believers in Christ.
27:52 How much more shall we do that for our children?
27:55 They need a loving, guiding hand to keep them safe.
27:58 Everyone who meets your child is not a safe person.
28:01 So we want to make sure that you spend as much time
28:04 with your children as you possibly can,
28:07 and make sure that you are creating
28:08 good, happy memories.
28:10 You have to discipline, don't let discipline be
28:12 the only thing you do with your children.
28:15 There'll be a time in the day
28:17 when they will have their own children,
28:18 and they'll remember all the good times
28:21 that you have shared with them.
28:22 Make this a great day.


Revised 2018-07-23