Participants:
Series Code: RQRA
Program Code: RQRA000026A
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00:01 I don't understand.
00:04 Why did this have to happen to me? 00:08 I feel like I just can't make sense of things. 00:12 I need answers. 00:15 Where is God? 00:22 What do you do when Christianity 00:23 seems to fail you? 00:25 You've done what everyone says to do, 00:26 but it just doesn't seem to be working for you. 00:29 Welcome to Raw Questions Relevant Answers, 00:31 a program where we deal with questions just like that 00:33 for people just like us, young people. 00:36 My co-hosts today 00:37 are Michelle Doucoumes and Mark Paden. 00:39 And we're going to be addressing 00:40 two raw questions today. 00:42 I hope you're ready for these. 00:44 First one is from a 17-year-old female 00:46 from the East Coast. 00:47 She says, "If I can't enjoy Christianity here on earth, 00:50 where I should need it the most, 00:52 how could I live in heaven for eternity? 00:54 It makes me just want to have 00:56 as much fun as possible till I die, 00:57 and then burn it off in hell. 00:59 Christianity is just a set of do's and don'ts." 01:03 Heavy stuff. What do you think about that? 01:06 You know, the first thing 01:07 that I want to say to that is just that, 01:09 you know, this person isn't alone, 01:12 like if you are wrestling with this, 01:15 you're not bad. 01:16 You're not damaged goods because of this. 01:18 You're not cast off from God. 01:22 But the first thing by way of an answer 01:24 that I just want to bring up to this 01:26 is acknowledging the fact 01:28 that the premise of the question 01:29 at the beginning does have some truth to it, 01:30 you know? 01:32 If we don't love Christianity, if we don't love God, 01:38 actually I should say, 01:39 because sometimes Christianity can't be very Christ, right? 01:43 But if we don't love the things of God here on this earth, 01:46 there's a lot of truth that we won't be happy in heaven. 01:49 But where I think the question 01:51 needs to go a little bit of a different direction 01:53 is that it's premised on this assumption 01:56 that Christianity is just a bunch of painful, 02:00 monotonous stop doing this, start doing this, 02:03 stop doing this, start doing this. 02:04 The reality of religion that the Bible paints 02:07 is much different, much more beautiful. 02:10 Yes. 02:11 At the right hand of God are pleasures forevermore, 02:14 you know. 02:16 There's all kinds of verses in the Bible 02:17 that paint the true joyous experience 02:20 of the Christian. 02:21 And this is what I think we have to really recognize, 02:23 first of all, is that true religion 02:28 is actually really beautiful. 02:29 I want to say a couple more things, 02:30 but I want to let you answer too. 02:33 Well, yeah, I mean, I think of John 10:10 02:36 where Jesus says, 02:37 "I have come that they may have life 02:39 and have it more abundantly," you know. 02:41 And John 15:11, 02:44 "These things I have spoken to you 02:45 that My joy may remain in you and that your joy may be full." 02:49 However, 02:50 I relate to this person's struggle. 02:53 I remember a time in my life where I decided that 02:57 if this was what there was to Christianity, 02:59 then it wasn't working for me. 03:02 I remember that, and I remember realizing, 03:04 well, I feel like life in the world, 03:06 I don't think that's a good idea either. 03:08 And I knew enough 03:10 in my Christian upbringing to know that, 03:11 but yet it's that nothing was working. 03:14 And it was a really disconcerting thing. 03:16 And the Lord used that time in my life to actually show me 03:19 that I didn't really understand my faith. 03:24 To be honest, I had heard a lot about Christianity, 03:26 my whole life, I knew a lot about God, 03:29 but I didn't really know God. 03:31 And it drove me to a point where I really had to say, 03:34 "Well, God, if this is going to work, 03:36 then You need to show me, show Yourself to me." 03:40 And I started searching in God's Word about these things. 03:42 I genuinely started studying about the life of Christ 03:45 and in devotional book, Desire of Ages, 03:48 and different things and really asking tough questions, 03:50 "God, who are You? And what does this mean?" 03:53 And I can't explain a magic formula 03:55 that fixed it for this person asking the question or for me, 03:59 but I can say that God came through. 04:01 Amen. 04:02 And I do believe that God comes through 04:03 when we seek Him. 04:05 There is more to Christianity that there is to find 04:07 and God wants us to find. 04:09 We're told that, "No good thing 04:11 does He withhold from those who walk uprightly." 04:13 God wants good things for His people. 04:15 You know, when I first became a Christian, 04:16 I'm kind of ashamed to say this now, 04:18 but I literally was afraid of heaven. 04:20 Wow. 04:21 I was afraid of it because in my mind, 04:23 I thought that... 04:24 The immediate thought in my mind 04:25 was I'm coming to realize how God feels about me, 04:27 but heaven, it just felt like such a long time, 04:29 like what am I going to do there. 04:31 And it was genuine fear, like I'm not messing around. 04:34 I was actually afraid because I just thought, 04:37 "I'm going to be there forever, 04:38 and I don't know if I want to be." 04:42 And what changed everything for me 04:44 was whenever I fell head over heels in love 04:46 with a man named Jesus, 04:47 and then all these conversations 04:49 you hear in church about what heaven's going to look like 04:51 and what my mansion is going to be 04:52 and what the streets look like. 04:54 I don't care whether I'm going to have, 04:56 you know, this or that, 04:58 or, you know, if I'm going to see this 04:59 or see that in there, 05:01 none of those things matter to me anymore 05:02 because the only thing that makes heaven 05:04 heaven to me 05:05 is the presence of Jesus and God the Father evermore. 05:08 I never have to wonder if I'm good enough for Him. 05:10 I never have to wonder, 05:11 you know, if I have to leave Him. 05:13 I can just bow down and weep at the feet of Jesus. 05:15 I can wrap my arms around His legs, 05:16 and I never have to let go. 05:19 And that's what makes heaven heaven to me. 05:21 And I think that's what 05:22 we're carrying with us into heaven 05:25 is a genuine love for fellowship with Him. 05:27 Jesus says in John 17:3, 05:29 "That this is eternal life that they may know You, 05:32 the only true God and Jesus Christ, 05:33 whom You have sent." 05:35 And this is a sense of intimacy 05:36 not just an intellectual venture. 05:38 And if we know them here, 05:40 we will want to be with them there. 05:42 And that's what God wants for us 05:44 is to know him as He truly is 05:46 and to enjoy Him here 05:47 and for that to carry over into eternity. 05:49 You know, kind of the picture 05:51 that you're painting is this picture 05:53 where we have to fall in love with the beauty of who God is. 05:57 We have to know... 05:59 We have to have this change of heart in which, 06:02 you know, we'll love the things of God. 06:04 And once we have that experience, 06:05 then the things of heaven will become beautiful to us. 06:09 There's this principle in Romans 8:7 06:12 that I think has a lot of significance in this, 06:16 "Because the carnal or natural mind 06:19 is enmity against God, 06:21 for it is not subject to the law of God 06:24 neither indeed can be." 06:25 Here's the basic human problem, 06:27 and let me parse through this old English for a second. 06:31 Basically, if our minds are still unrenewed, 06:35 if we still are in this state of unconversion in heart 06:38 where we don't love the things of God 06:41 and where we love the world, 06:42 we can't really love the law of God. 06:45 If we're in... 06:47 The truth of redemption is that we are naturally very sinful. 06:51 And the only way to truly love the things of God 06:54 is for God to go on this process 06:56 where He takes out our messed up stony heart 07:00 and replace it with a heart 07:01 that is fragrant and beautiful and whole in God. 07:06 And that it's a new heart. 07:08 This process is described in Ezekiel 36. 07:10 And I believe that's when Christianity becomes fun 07:13 And I know sometimes 07:14 they don't think of Christianity as fun, 07:17 but I believe it should be. 07:18 Part of what makes Christianity so hard sometimes 07:20 is where we've got this part of us that wants God 07:24 and we've got this part of us that doesn't, 07:25 and we're warring with it. 07:27 But God wants to bring us to a point 07:29 where we just give ourselves to Him. 07:31 And we start to realize 07:33 that He's going to make our lives better, 07:36 that Christianity is not just like 07:38 a divine life insurance policy, 07:41 and I've heard it said like that, 07:42 you know, "Do the right thing 07:43 because you don't want to go to hell. 07:45 You'd be better to go to heaven 07:47 even if it's just gold streets." 07:49 But it's more than that. 07:52 It's life now, 07:53 and that would be the encouragement I have 07:56 for who is asking this is Christianity can be better. 07:59 God wants it to be better. 08:01 And that's the plan. Yeah. 08:03 We're told that, "Great peace have that love their law." 08:05 We need to jump into our second question here 08:08 because it's another heavy one. 08:09 "They say my dad..." 08:11 This is from a female who's 17, also from the East Coast. 08:15 "My dad is a pastor, and because he's so busy 08:17 I just feel like I'm a burden to him. 08:19 He comes home tired and treats me 08:20 like I get on his nerves. 08:22 I've had battles with depression. 08:23 And I feel like my mental health struggles 08:25 are making his life worse. 08:26 When I do things that are wrong, 08:28 he treats me like he's disappointed in me. 08:29 And I don't want that. 08:31 I feel like my dad stress is my fault, 08:33 and I'm such a failure." 08:35 Wow. 08:36 I wanted to kind of defer to you first now because... 08:39 Not because you had the same experience 08:40 but because you understand the pressure that comes with it, 08:42 you yourself are a pastor's kid. 08:44 It is true. I will admit it. 08:46 I'm a PK, pastor's kid. 08:48 And people believe different things about that. 08:50 It seems they believe you're either really good 08:52 or really bad for that. 08:54 But I will say something, 08:56 I relate to the struggle of feeling a pressure. 08:59 I think sometimes when we have a parent 09:01 who's in a leadership position, 09:03 especially a spiritual leadership position, 09:05 we are very cognizant of the fact 09:07 that people watch us. 09:09 And sometimes that may make it seem like 09:11 it's not okay for us to have struggles 09:14 because we're supposed to be a good example to the church 09:18 or because we're supposed to not burden our parents 09:21 'cause they're doing God's work. 09:23 And the first thing I want to say is that 09:26 a pastor's kid is just a kid, 09:29 and you're allowed to have struggles, 09:31 and we have struggles. 09:33 And it is still a parent's job to be there in those struggles. 09:39 Don't feel guilty about that. 09:41 Don't feel like it's wrong 09:43 because you're going through something difficult. 09:45 We all go through things. 09:46 And being a pastor's kid does not exempt you from that. 09:51 Yeah, I think the other big thing too 09:53 in this all is learning to really make God our father. 09:57 You know, we can't pick who our father or mother is. 10:00 You know, we all go through things, 10:02 people make decisions in life. 10:03 That's part of being human. We have free will. 10:06 And sometimes parents make decisions, do things, 10:09 act in certain ways that aren't helpful. 10:12 And the most times, they aren't intentional. 10:14 I just make sure that's clear. 10:15 This isn't intentional on most occasions, but go ahead. 10:18 Exactly. 10:19 And I think the big thing 10:21 that we need to do is make God our father, 10:24 really learn to come... 10:26 Like if you're in this situation, 10:28 and you can't really be vulnerable with your father, 10:32 let's say, be vulnerable with God. 10:35 Learn to make Him 10:37 your comforter, your counselor, your help. 10:40 When you're depressed, go to Him. 10:42 Seek comfort in His Word. 10:44 And it's not... 10:45 Yes, it would be great if your father could be there, 10:48 but you're gaining an experience 10:50 that will put you so much farther 10:52 ahead of all your peers and experience with God 10:55 if you learn to make God's Word your counselor. 10:58 The situations that people in leadership go through, 11:01 just from a spiritual warfare standpoint, 11:03 are no joke. 11:04 And I think very rarely appreciated 11:06 or understood by a lot of the lay people. 11:10 Satan hates God. 11:12 He hates the followers of God. 11:13 And he doesn't want the cause of God to succeed. 11:15 And he hates the family. 11:17 Well, what do you do when all those things 11:18 converge into one household, 11:20 someone who's come into their life 11:21 to the things of God, 11:23 leading in the things of God 11:24 because if Satan can take down a leader, 11:26 people lose their faith in the entire movement 11:28 a lot of times. 11:29 It's not that that's a reasonable response 11:31 or an acceptable response necessarily, 11:33 but it does happen. 11:34 And so because of this 11:36 Satan is seeking to attack the homes of godly leaders. 11:39 And there are times, when our moments of weakness, 11:41 we fail our children. 11:43 One of the most manly things a dad can do in a situation 11:46 like that is own it. 11:48 But it's difficult. 11:49 But I think that this is an appeal to adults 11:52 who may be watching this program, 11:54 when you realize that you're making decisions 11:56 whenever you have a short temper, 11:57 when you're impatient, 11:59 when you may be shaming your kids 12:00 because they do something wrong or frustrate you in a moment, 12:03 recognize that this person's question 12:05 is birth out of a mistake 12:06 made by someone who was well intended. 12:09 And one of the best ways to atone for that 12:11 and close up that gap of trust 12:13 and intimacy is to face it head on and own it. 12:17 It would be far easier, 12:18 and things would heal far more quickly 12:19 as we in our interpersonal relationships, 12:22 we just take responsibility and recognize, 12:24 "I shouldn't have said that that way. 12:25 I'm sorry. 12:27 Will you forgive me? 12:28 Dad failed you just now, and I'm sorry." 12:31 And so that's something 12:32 that I just wanted to kind of give 12:34 as some form of explanation. 12:35 Even if parents don't do these things, 12:39 we still can find healing and acceptance with God. 12:42 But you know what? 12:43 There are times when they just don't realize it. 12:44 And sometimes what we have to do 12:46 is go through that process of saying, 12:48 "Hey, you probably didn't mean it this way, 12:50 but this is how I received that when you came home yesterday. 12:54 And I shared with you something I've done wrong that day, 12:56 and I'm sorry. 12:57 I felt 10 times as bad, like I was being ashamed 13:00 and identified for how I had failed, 13:02 and that really hurt me. 13:04 I want to change, but this hasn't helped me. 13:05 And I need to communicate that." 13:07 And whether they respond positively or negatively, 13:09 you know that you've done your part, 13:11 and you can have peace at the end of the day 13:13 and seek that healing from God 13:14 that you didn't find in that environment. 13:16 Do you have any other brief closing thoughts? 13:20 Go first. 13:21 I just want to say briefly, 13:23 you know, sometimes a parent may be doing things 13:24 that are really not good. 13:26 They may be completely hypocritical, 13:27 even in church leadership, 13:29 and to those I would make an appeal, 13:30 seek God, you know, 13:32 really see God for repentance and grace. 13:36 And ask if what your kids are saying is true, 13:38 not trying to justify yourself immediately. 13:40 We don't minister to our own families 13:42 or minister it to other people, maybe in vain. 13:44 Wow. Yeah. 13:45 I just want to make an appeal 13:47 to those who are watching today, 13:48 whether it'd be parents in these situations 13:50 or young people, that there's a God in heaven 13:53 who has love for you 13:54 even when you fail, when you stumble, 13:56 when you misunderstand, 13:57 when the whole thing doesn't make sense, 13:59 He loves you, He's pursuing you, 14:01 and He has something vastly better to offer us 14:03 than we are seeking for ourselves. 14:05 Thank you again for joining us on 14:06 Raw Questions Relevant Answers. 14:08 You can submit your questions 14:09 to www.facebook.com/RQRA3ABN. 14:15 Bless you. |
Revised 2018-09-24