Participants:
Series Code: TDYL
Program Code: TDYL250005A
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00:05 I want to spend my life, mending broken people.
00:16 I want to spend my life, 00:38 I want to spend my life, mending broken people. 00:48 I want to spend my life, mending broken people. 01:09 Hello friends, welcome to Thursday Night Live here in 01:12 3ABN Studios. 01:13 We thank you for tuning in. 01:14 We've got an exciting program tonight. 01:17 Yes we do. 01:18 It's called To Have and To Hold On. 01:21 Many of you are married or think about getting married and 01:24 you've probably been at weddings where the pastor says 01:27 to have and to hold from this day forward, well we say after 01:30 40 something years of marriage to have and to hold on. 01:34 And you know we didn't get here on a flowery bit of ease. 01:37 We've been filing each other down all during that time and 01:40 God has been filing us down, building us up, teaching us, 01:43 breaking us, rebuilding us. 01:45 And friends we want to share something tonight with you. 01:47 But we're not by ourselves. 01:48 We have two other couples here. 01:49 Let's go to the Thomases to the other side of the room. 01:52 Good to have you here both. 01:53 It's good to be here with you. 01:55 I'm Terrell and Sasha. 01:56 Terrell and Sasha Thomas. 01:57 Kind of tell us quickly what you do here at 3ABN. 02:00 So I work in the media center here, which deals with like 02:03 managing the program files and making sure they're backed up. 02:08 I help out as needed and I also work at the school. 02:12 Yes. 02:12 That's right. 02:16 We love you. 02:17 The way you guys raise your children. 02:19 They sing on the praise team with you. 02:21 And I know when they get older they're going to remember my 02:23 mom and dad started us when we were like, didn't even know how 02:25 to sing. 02:26 But good to have you here together. 02:27 It's good to be here. 02:28 And who do we have here, honey? 02:30 No surprise. 02:31 Ian and Angela Vanderbilt. 02:32 Welcome. 02:33 Yeah, thanks for having us tonight. 02:34 We're excited to be here. 02:35 This is going to be a great program. 02:37 I'm looking forward to just how the Lord leads. 02:39 I know. 02:40 That's right. 02:41 What do you do here, Ian? 02:42 Well, my main position here is a producer. 02:45 Yes. 02:46 Pastoral too? 02:47 When I can. 02:49 Lately I've kind of had to put that on the back burner just 02:51 because there's a little bit of internal transition going on 02:55 with some individuals. 02:56 So I've had to step back just to devote more time to 02:58 production. 03:02 Discipleship here where I'm currently the assistant 03:04 coordinator for that. 03:04 All right. 03:05 All right. 03:06 And Angela. 03:08 Yeah, so I floor direct here and do makeup and run camera. 03:13 Yeah. 03:13 Wonderful couple. 03:14 And these two guys also preach. 03:16 They're both preachers. 03:17 They're both phenomenal preachers. 03:19 Wonderful. 03:19 Men of God. 03:20 That's the elders. 03:21 We appreciate that. 03:22 That's right. 03:24 If you're looking for a church that's just on fire for the 03:27 Lord, you want to come to Thompsonville, that's just a 03:29 plug. 03:34 godly thankful for elders that we have here at our church. 03:38 And if you're ever in the area, which you have to be here 03:40 intentionally, do stop by the Thompsonville Seventh-day 03:42 Adventist Church right across, kind of adjacent to 3ABN. 03:47 But tonight's program is about relationships. 03:50 Now, mostly we're going to be talking two married couples, 03:53 but we're going to also give advice about you might be 03:55 getting ready for marriage. 03:58 how did God work through our differences, how did God help 04:02 us in our broken moments, in our moments where we learn to 04:05 grow together, honey, and we've had a lot of that. 04:07 And so you might want to hear a record or invite somebody who's 04:10 in the home with you to join us, and it's going to be a 04:13 blessing. 04:14 Thank you for tuning in. 04:16 music, honey? 04:21 entitled, Build My Life. 04:41 Worthy of every song we could ever sing Worthy of all the 04:50 praise we could ever breathe Worthy of every breath we could 04:58 ever breathe We live for you 05:08 Jesus, the name above every other name Jesus, the only one 05:17 who could ever save Worthy of every breath we could ever 05:25 breathe, we live for you. 05:35 There is no one like you, there is none beside you. 05:42 Open up my eyes in wonder, show me who you are Fill me with 05:52 your heart and lead me in your love to those around me 06:05 Worthy of every song we could ever sing Worthy of all the 06:13 praise we could ever bring Worthy of every breath we could 06:21 ever breathe, we live for you. 06:31 Jesus, the name above every other name. 06:38 Jesus, the only one who could ever save. 06:44 Worthy of every breath we could ever breathe, we live for you. 06:51 Oh, we 06:59 like you, there is none beside you. 07:04 Open up my eyes in wonder. 07:09 Show me who you are and fill me with your heart. 07:15 And lead me in your love to those around me. 07:22 Holy, there is no one like you. 07:27 There is none beside you. 07:31 Open up my eyes in wonder. 07:35 Show me who you are and fill me with your heart. 07:41 And lead me in your love to those around me. 07:54 I 08:01 will build my life up. 08:09 It is a firm foundation. 08:14 And I will put my trust in you alone. 08:22 And I will not be shaken. 08:28 And I will build my life upon your love. 08:35 It is a firm foundation. 08:41 And I will put my trust in you alone. 08:48 And I will not be shaken. 08:54 Holy, there is no one like you. 08:59 There is none beside you. 09:03 Open up my eyes in wonder. 09:07 Show me who you are and fill me with your heart. 09:13 And lead me in your love to those around me. 09:21 Holy, there is no one like you. 09:25 There is none beside you. 09:29 Open up my eyes in wonder. 09:34 Show me who you are and fill me with your heart. 09:42 And lead me in your love to those around me. 09:53 Thank you so much for that wonderful song. 09:55 Isn't that wonderful? 09:56 Yes, beautiful message. 09:58 Build me up, Lord. 10:00 That's something that we all need to have our hearts built 10:04 before the Lord. 10:05 Now, this song is a little special because as we were 10:08 listening, Ian and Angela remember this song very well. 10:12 Yeah, we do because it's really interesting. 10:14 The title that we have for tonight, To Haven't to Hold On, 10:17 that was one of your sermons that you did a few years ago. 10:20 And we were just new to Thompsonville and my son Liam 10:22 was learning how to play the piano and he actually played on 10:26 the piano for the first time at our church to that sermon and 10:31 that same song that we just listened to. 10:33 And my son-in-law was playing the guitar too. 10:36 And he's directing actually right now. 10:38 Look at that, look at that. 10:39 Beautiful. 10:41 Only the Lord could put that together because we didn't even 10:43 plan that. 10:43 No. 10:45 But if you're just joining us after the song, we're talking 10:48 tonight about relationships, about marriage. 10:51 Those of you that are planning for marriage, you may have 10:53 experienced a breakup and you're planning for your second 10:56 marriage or some of you have been married many times. 10:59 This program is going to talk about marriage from a number of 11:02 perspective relationships also because marriage, the dynamics 11:05 in marriage, is also present in many relationships. 11:09 And we're going to talk about that tonight. 11:11 Biblically. 11:12 Scripturally, that's right, and experientially. 11:15 But let's start out with something really easy. 11:19 Well, we want to know how long we've been married to. 11:21 Okay. 11:22 Couples. 11:23 Well, let's start with the couple in the middle. 11:28 We've been married 17 years now. 11:31 And you know, it wasn't something that we really, or at 11:35 least for me, I'll be honest, when I first met Angela, I 11:38 wasn't looking for a relationship. 11:40 I didn't want to get married. 11:42 But interestingly enough, just how God works everything out, I 11:45 can remember early on in my high school days, my heart was 11:48 broken by someone, and I just remember how horrible that felt 11:53 and just how much that really ate away at me. 11:55 And I wasn't even, you know, I didn't have much of a 11:57 relationship with God, but I was in a Catholic school and I 12:00 remember praying. 12:01 And I was sitting on my back porch at my parents' house and 12:04 I said, Lord, I just want a woman who loves God and is 12:09 going to love me the way that you love. 12:13 And God gave me my wife and I wasn't even expecting it. 12:17 You weren't even a Christian. 12:18 No, no, I really didn't have much of a relationship with 12:21 God. 12:21 It was very... 12:23 Yeah, that was our wedding day. 12:24 That was our wedding day. 12:26 We really, you know, I just didn't have much of a 12:28 relationship with God, but I was still hearing things of God 12:31 being in Catholic school and we took, you know, theology class. 12:35 But I do remember Claire's day being on the back porch just 12:38 saying, God, I want you to give me the woman that I need. 12:40 Wow, and he did. 12:42 And he did. 12:42 He answered that prayer. 12:44 And what do you have to say about that, Angela? 12:45 I'm so blessed. 12:47 I love my children. 12:48 We have two children. 12:49 We have my daughter, Pamela, who's pregnant, and my son, 12:53 Liam, who's in ninth grade. 12:55 All right. 12:56 Very blessed. 12:58 He was little. 12:59 He was so little. 13:00 He was barely touching the piano when he played that song. 13:02 I know. 13:05 he's... 13:07 Yeah, and Ben was single too. 13:09 Yeah, he didn't know he was going to marry my daughter. 13:13 You know, amazing marriage is something God created in the 13:16 Garden of Eden. 13:16 That's right. 13:17 And it still goes on today. 13:19 Well, Darrell and Sasha, you're the quiet, beautiful witness 13:22 Yeah, how did you meet and how long you've been married? 13:26 So, we're coming up on 12 years of marriage. 13:29 All right. 13:30 And... 13:31 go ahead. 13:31 I was just saying that's crazy. 13:33 Yeah. 13:34 Yeah, we actually went to middle school, high school 13:38 together. 13:39 She was in the year above me. 13:42 Didn't have any interest in each other at all. 13:46 Okay. 13:48 But I would say, over these 12 years, there's been nothing 13:54 that has come our way, no circumstance. 13:56 And we've had some challenges, but there's been no 13:58 circumstance that has come across my path that could 14:01 convince me that I made a wrong choice in choosing my wife. 14:06 Just looking at our wedding pictures as we were preparing 14:09 for this program, it just consistently reminds you of... 14:13 Beautiful. 14:16 Well, you might not be able to see, but the theme for our 14:19 wedding was the Garden of Eden. 14:21 Oh. 14:24 would be brought to me, for me, that was like my eve being 14:28 brought to me. 14:29 And it was just so impactful. 14:32 And, you know, I just praise the Lord for sustaining us 14:35 throughout these years. 14:39 And where did you meet? 14:41 No. 14:46 we had a mutual friend at the time. 14:49 I would say I had one foot in the church, but still trying to 14:52 live a little bit of the worldly life. 14:54 I was pretty much out in the world. 14:57 I grew up in the church, but I had pretty much just went 15:00 completely... 15:00 Were you Adventist? 15:02 No, I was... 15:03 Actually, I was raised AME. 15:06 So, that was... 15:08 That African Method is Episcopal? 15:10 Yes. 15:10 Yes. 15:12 But because I had gone to the Seventh-day Adventist School... 15:16 Oh, yeah. 15:20 shared, a lot of our friends were from high school. 15:23 And so, I just remember in my journey of coming back to God, 15:28 I started attending church more again, and then our paths 15:33 crossed. 15:35 where we're both like going in opposite directions, and all of 15:39 a sudden it's just like, Oh, hey, we sit down, we're talking 15:41 on a bench and say... 15:44 So, tell me about yourself. 15:48 Very cinematic, but yeah. 15:49 Where are you from? 15:50 We're from the... 15:51 Bermuda. 15:53 Yeah, lovely island of Bermuda. 15:56 And like I said, I'm thankful for the way that the Lord did 15:59 it, because I think bringing us together at that time in our 16:04 journey kind of helped to save each of us. 16:10 Because I mean, now I look back, and even though I was 16:13 coming into the church, I still didn't really... 16:16 I remember when I would go to my childhood church, I just 16:21 wanted... 16:26 different churches, and then once I got to... 16:29 I can't remember how I ended up coming to your church, but... 16:34 Well, it takes a little bit of the fairy tale out of the 16:37 story, but one of my friends took my phone and pretended to 16:41 be me and texted him and invited him to church. 16:44 I was like, no, don't do that. 16:46 I don't want him to feel like I'm forcing him to come to 16:48 church. 16:50 But he thought it was me, and he said yes, he would come. 16:52 Oh, that was good. 16:53 It was an action text. 16:57 But the fact that you allowed her to do it meant that you 16:59 really wanted me to come. 17:00 I like that. 17:02 She didn't put mistake. 17:04 And here you are 12 years later. 17:07 And two children. 17:08 Oh, yes, and we do have... 17:09 So we have a son and a daughter. 17:12 I should say daughter and son, because our daughter is older. 17:14 She's 10, and our son is 6. 17:18 He'll tell you he's about to go 7. 17:22 Noah and Brighton. 17:24 They all was on the praise team with you. 17:26 I remember when they first got on the praise team, they stood 17:29 there like, who are these people looking at? 17:32 They were not singing. 17:32 They were just holding the microphone. 17:33 Now they're singing. 17:35 What a blessing. 17:36 Thank you for being an example. 17:37 And well, I think we're the ones, we've been around 17:40 probably the longest. 17:41 What year are we in now, honey? 17:43 Well, this will be our 42nd year. 17:46 I can't believe it. 17:47 It went so fast. 17:49 It did. 17:49 I just can't believe it. 17:50 I just asked you to marry me the other day. 17:52 No, you didn't ask me. 17:55 We have the funniest engagement story. 17:59 People probably heard it before, but I think since you 18:02 said that, it's right now repeating. 18:03 We dated off and on. 18:04 I was out in the world. 18:05 Yeah, he was. 18:06 I was... 18:07 He was a bad boy. 18:09 I was out there in the world, partying, gambling, disc 18:12 jockey, pool hustling. 18:13 And I would come to church, but I was not in the Lord. 18:16 Not at all. 18:17 And I saw you and your sister. 18:20 We had a church, like 1,200 members, and you'd come to 18:22 church. 18:27 up, and they'd walk in the church. 18:29 It was like, who are these beautiful women? 18:31 This is New York. 18:32 You had to dress to come to church. 18:35 You couldn't half step. 18:36 And that's when they had the maxi dresses, so it always 18:38 looked like they had on a gown. 18:39 They'd step in like, I will never get a chance to talk to 18:42 them. 18:47 somebody told me something that you wanted to meet me. 18:50 Yeah, I wanted to meet this guy, this bad boy. 18:54 Me? 18:54 We're teenagers. 18:55 He came to- It was called M.V. 18:58 M.V. 18:59 then. 18:59 It was called M.V. 19:02 I had a big afro, like Michael Jackson. 19:04 A big curly afro. 19:06 When he turns, his afro just spun left and right. 19:09 And I said, I want to meet this guy. 19:11 And I said, it was a guy named Chris, right? 19:15 Yeah, Chris said, Hey, John, there's a girl I want to meet 19:17 you. 19:17 I said, Who? 19:18 He said, Her. 19:20 I said, Who? 19:21 He said, Her. 19:22 Boy, I was fast. 19:23 I said, Not her. 19:24 I said, Not her. 19:26 I mean, just like, way above my pay grade. 19:30 And so, we met that evening. 19:33 She invited me over for Bible studies because- Well, after 19:37 several weeks. 19:37 After several weeks. 19:42 still a teenager, but you could come over for Bible study. 19:45 So, I said, Okay, I know what I'll do. 19:47 I'll invite him for Bible study. 19:49 And so, I did. 19:50 She came to Bible study on Friday night, and you kept 19:54 coming, but you kept partying. 19:55 Kept going, Come on, honey. 19:57 Come. 19:58 Yeah, I'll be there. 19:59 But you would still go on Friday night party. 20:02 And I'm like, Oh, this guy. 20:03 And I started praying for him. 20:05 Say, Lord, please, touch him. 20:08 I need you to touch him so that he could change. 20:13 And then she invited me after one family worship that her 20:15 mother held every Friday night. 20:17 She said, Have you ever read the Book of the Great 20:19 Controversy? 20:20 Oh, yes. 20:20 I said, I heard about it. 20:22 Mama had it. 20:25 chapter. 20:26 Let me just think about it. 20:27 After this worship, I was getting ready to go to a party 20:29 in Manhattan. 20:30 And she has me read my first chapter in the Great 20:33 Controversy, The Time of Truth. 20:36 I mean, He didn't want to read the Bible. 20:38 No, he was not comfortable reading the Bible. 20:41 My mother would say with her Jamaican accent, John, would 20:46 you read the scripture? 20:47 And he would read it. 20:50 For instance, he was like, For God so loved her. 20:51 He would say, For God so loved the world. 20:57 And bees of perspiration would drip. 20:58 And I said, He can't read! 21:02 I thought to myself. 21:04 But I tell you, what a difference that has made in 21:08 what God has done. 21:09 Oh, your little Lord shocked me. 21:11 I fell to my knees that night and prayed and asked the Lord 21:13 to come into my lives. 21:14 And then we dated off and on for nine years. 21:17 And one day, one of her brothers said, You're going to 21:18 date my sister forever or what? 21:20 I said, Excuse me, You're going to date her or marry her? 21:23 Which one is it? 21:23 I said, Marry her! 21:26 He said, When? 21:27 I said, Next month! 21:29 And that was going on 42 years ago. 21:32 So the joke in our family is, Her brother proposed, and I 21:35 accepted. 21:37 Look at that wedding picture. 21:38 In front of Bethel Church. 21:39 And that was a beautiful day, May 22, 1983. 21:45 How God is amazing when he does things. 21:48 So we're going to talk about marriage and life, but we're 21:49 going to have prayer before we go any farther. 21:52 And Darrell always seems to be the quiet one, so I'm going to 21:54 have you begin with prayer as we open the scriptures before 21:57 our audience. 21:59 Okay. 22:02 together for this program. 22:03 We thank you for the people who are watching and that you have 22:06 given us the breath of life. 22:07 We ask in all that as we open up your word, you will give us 22:10 wisdom and understanding and also give us the gift of love. 22:14 That our marriages may be bonded together and that you 22:18 may help those who are listening if they're having any 22:20 troubles in their marriages. 22:22 That they may learn how to thrive. 22:25 And maybe each see that each of us have an area that we need to 22:29 grow in and something that can be done in our own hearts. 22:31 So please bless us now as we begin to study. 22:36 We pray in Jesus' name. 22:37 Amen. 22:37 Amen. 22:38 Amen. 22:41 to go to the wives. 22:42 Because the reason I start with the husbands is because Adam 22:45 was made first. 22:48 And so let's go to Ephesians 5 .25. 22:51 It's in our outline but we can turn our Bibles together. 22:53 If you have your Bibles you can turn there with us. 22:55 Ephesians chapter 5. 22:57 And at the end of the program we are going to read 1 23:01 Corinthians chapter 13, the love chapter. 23:04 Well let's go to Ephesians chapter 5. 23:06 And on the start we have Durrell read verse 25 and Ian 23:10 read verse 28. 23:15 Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church 23:19 and gave himself for it. 23:22 Matter of fact read verse 26 also. 23:24 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of 23:27 water by the word. 23:29 And Ian 27 and 28? 23:31 Starting in verse 27 is that he might present her to himself a 23:36 glorious church. 23:38 Not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she 23:41 should be holy and without blemish. 23:44 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. 23:48 He who loves his wife loves himself. 23:51 And verse 29 is so significant. 23:53 Add that one in there. 23:55 For no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and 23:58 cherishes it. 23:59 Just as the Lord does the church. 24:02 Wow, what a picture of marriage. 24:05 I mean so what would you say if you read that passage how would 24:08 you define marriage? 24:10 Marriage is a choice to enter into covenant relation with 24:15 someone. 24:17 It's a choice to be devoted to that bond. 24:22 When I think of Jacob and how he worked for seven long years 24:27 and then he was lied to. 24:31 And then he chose to work an additional seven years to make 24:35 it a total of 14 years. 24:36 That he didn't agree to when he first committed to get Rachel's 24:41 hand in marriage. 24:42 And I think to myself that was before he even got married to 24:46 her. 24:50 surely he had a devotion to that relationship. 24:55 And I think that was really God working in him. 24:57 There was a lot of baggage that Jacob had. 25:01 And I think that work of service on behalf of his wife 25:05 to gain her hand in marriage. 25:07 And then thereafter I think that was God's way of teaching 25:10 him of how he could be like Christ to sacrifice of himself. 25:14 I think a lot of people in marriages today they're not 25:18 willing it's a cricket term. 25:20 They're not willing to stick to the wicked. 25:23 You know you can go in the world of cricket. 25:26 I'm not actually a cricket fan but I just know this. 25:30 But like in cricket like let's say you're at a great deficit. 25:34 And now you have to send somebody into bat. 25:37 What they do is they want you to play defensively and they 25:41 want you to get a lot of runs. 25:43 And so in the situation where you're sticking to the wicked 25:46 you have to do everything you possibly can regardless of the 25:49 circumstances the pressure is on. 25:51 But you have to do everything that is necessary in order to 25:53 help your team to win. 25:56 So the same thing works in marriage. 26:01 For me it's circumstances versus covenant. 26:04 When you recognize that marriage is not about 26:06 circumstances and yielding to those circumstances but it is 26:09 about the covenant that exists between husband and wife. 26:12 Then you're going to be willing to stick to the wicked 26:14 regardless of those circumstances. 26:16 Because you see in Jacob's case he could have said after those 26:19 first seven years you know what forget it. 26:23 But in Jacob's case he was dedicated to the covenant and 26:29 therefore he was able to work those additional seven years. 26:31 And I praise God for those examples because you know it's 26:34 not always easy. 26:36 But because of these examples it teaches me to stick to the 26:40 wicked. 26:42 What about you Ian? 26:45 What do you grab out of that? 26:47 Well you know the two words that really popped out to me 26:50 was in actually what you had me read in verse 29 which is to 26:53 nourish and cherish. 26:54 You know this relationship that we have and you kind of touched 26:57 on it too was you know a lot of marriages now when things get 27:01 tough they just want to run from it. 27:02 You know this isn't worth it let me just move on. 27:05 But no that's not really what it's about. 27:07 It's really you know meeting these challenges face on or 27:11 head on and to nourish and cherish your wife. 27:14 I mean because that's what really and from what I've seen 27:17 in our marriage is that's what she wants that's what she 27:20 desires is to feel cherished. 27:23 To feel loved to know that I'm there to know that I hear her 27:25 to know that I respect her. 27:27 And you know those two words really popped out to me when I 27:30 read was to nourish and cherish that marriage. 27:32 Because again I'll say it that today in today's world it's 27:37 almost like okay well what is it irreconcilable differences 27:41 that you get all the time when people get a divorce. 27:44 So they're not even being really specific it's always 27:47 vague it's just well we can't just work things out. 27:50 And I don't believe that to be true because God doesn't you 27:53 know he doesn't want divorce he doesn't want marriages to be 27:56 split. 27:59 because when when the husband and wife when they split that 28:02 tears the whole family apart especially when children are 28:04 involved. 28:06 And you know my praise God I come from a family that knew 28:08 even though that they were split you know my father was 28:11 had a different wife and my mother had a different husband. 28:14 They ended up getting a divorce coming together and having me 28:17 so I have half brothers and sisters but my family was still 28:20 very good about keeping the peace keeping everybody 28:23 involved. 28:27 there's very much friction and challenges in between. 28:30 So for me what really popped out from these verses that we 28:33 read in Ephesians was the nourish and cherish and I think 28:35 so many marriages need to do that more and just be more open 28:39 with each other and speaking with each other. 28:40 Yeah you know there's a phrase that I use when I give 28:44 relationship seminars is this we are made for each other we 28:49 decide to make it together. 28:51 You know there are no perfect marriages there are no perfect 28:53 individuals and when we talk about the two becoming one 28:57 that's a divine miracle. 28:59 How do two people become one we're going to talk about that 29:01 later on but I'm going to throw it to you honey and give the 29:04 wives a chance to jump in here. 29:05 Okay yeah we're talking about go to Ephesians 5 verse 22 to 29:15 24 and let's see Sasha you want to read verse 22 and Angela 23 29:26 and I'll do 24. 29:27 Okay wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto 29:31 the Lord. 29:37 the church and he is the savior of the body. 29:42 Verse 24 therefore just as the church is subject to Christ so 29:47 let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 29:52 How do you subject yourself to your husbands I'm throwing it 29:55 out there ladies how do you do that? 29:58 Well when I think of it in a literal sense I told you I had 30:02 one foot in the world and one foot in the church so had I 30:05 continued on that path that I was on I probably would be in 30:08 the world and probably would be lost so I can think of my 30:11 husband as that kind of savior that helped to pull me out of 30:15 that and when I think of that no matter what troubles arise 30:18 it's easier for me to submit to him because I saw that he was 30:21 willing to be that godly leader, and so I can think of 30:25 that and willingly submit to his leadership and follow it. 30:28 Amen. 30:29 How about you, Angela? 30:30 What do you get from that? 30:31 From this, so I try to pit my husband like every day on my 30:37 every day daily things. 30:39 I think of my husband first, I always think of him first, I 30:41 always just love him, and everything I do I always try to 30:45 pit him first in it, and I think it's important for wives 30:48 to do that, to pit their husbands first, even before the 30:51 kids, you know, your husband should go first, and I think 30:55 that's very important. 30:56 And I like this from Ellen White, it says, the marriages, 30:59 instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the 31:02 very beginning of love. 31:03 I think every day should be like a beginning of a new love 31:06 between your husband and wife. 31:08 You know, in school, I remember the teachers would say, every 31:12 day is a new day, you know, and I think same thing should be 31:15 with marriages, like every day, you know, maybe y'all had 31:18 trials or had a little fight or something, nobody has a perfect 31:21 marriage, and just every day, just a new beginning of love, a 31:25 new day. 31:26 Amen. 31:26 I love that. 31:27 I like that. 31:28 Very sweet. 31:29 Very nice. 31:32 No. 31:34 I can be sweet. 31:37 No, she is very, you know, she does often, and she makes a 31:41 point, even in front of Liam, our son, to where even the 31:45 small little things, like when she's serving dinner, she will 31:47 serve me first, and then she will serve Liam to show that 31:51 kind of respect that she has, and I know she does it all the 31:54 time, it was just the way that she said it just, you know, 31:56 touched my heart. 31:58 Oh, I like that, yeah, and same thing, when you said that, I 32:02 always, for dinner, I always give him the nice meal first, I 32:08 don't go and say, oh, let me put mine first, no, I always 32:11 put his food first, give it to him first, yeah, and when we 32:14 make decisions, the final decision is my husband, I let 32:18 him make the decision, like, oh, honey, what should we do, 32:22 and, you know, of course we pray about it, and then I say, 32:25 okay, honey, you're the priest, you make the decision, many 32:27 times I've said that to you, okay, honey, you make that 32:30 decision, and you say, okay, this is it, this is how it's 32:33 going to be. 32:37 mommy and daddy talked it over, and then daddy, you know, he 32:40 knows, when daddy says it, that's the end of it. 32:42 He knows that's it. 32:43 Daddy knows that's it. 32:44 Daddy said it. 32:45 That's it. 32:46 That's it. 32:49 That is the story. 32:50 I'm going to bring it up. 32:51 I'm going to bring it up. 32:53 I'm going to bring it up. 32:54 I'm going to bring it up. 32:55 I have a beautiful son, we just admire him, he's a man after my 33:00 heart and this sense, he likes colognes, and if you go to our 33:04 school, you might smell colognes on some of the guys, 33:08 because Liam started this trend at school, he was saying, 33:11 pastor, what cologne is that? 33:12 Okay, I thought you were going to talk about this. 33:14 Well, we'll bring that up later. 33:17 But prior to that, I remember being at the house, and Liam 33:19 was showing us around. 33:20 When we first moved here. 33:21 When we first moved here, that's right. 33:23 He was showing us around, and Liam was walking. 33:25 And so we were in, like, the washroom, and Liam came in and 33:31 asked his dad, he said, hey dad, how much do we pay for 33:34 mortgage? 33:35 How much do we pay for the house? 33:38 And Liam looked at his son, what did you say? 33:40 I just said, when you start paying bills around here, then 33:42 I'll let you go. 33:45 And Liam had to look like, let me crawl under the dryer, and 33:48 when you need me, just open the door. 33:51 He walked away, and I like that. 33:54 What I love about that is sometimes, the illustration is 33:57 sometimes parents put their children before their spouse. 34:02 So the first tip you get tonight is as you're listening 34:05 here, the Lord didn't say, husbands love your children, 34:10 then your wife. 34:12 But husbands love your wife. 34:14 And wives submit to your own husbands. 34:16 And a lot of families get together and the children 34:18 become the immediate focus. 34:20 And years later, the husband and the spouse, I mean, the 34:23 wife and the husband don't know each other. 34:25 After the kid graduates from school. 34:28 And so, what's your name again? 34:29 And it's really sad. 34:30 And some people just grow so far apart, they stay together 34:34 until the kids are gone and they're gone. 34:36 But that's really, really good. 34:37 I think it's easy to do that when, like, your marriage and 34:40 your family life becomes just like you're going through the 34:43 motions, you know, every day. 34:45 Especially, like, with children, when they're young, 34:48 they're not thinking about, how can I show love to my parents 34:51 and be thankful for all the things that they do for me? 34:53 It's more like, how can I get what I want? 34:57 And so, like, with the topic of, like, how the decision will 35:03 come to daddy, it took me a while to come to terms with 35:06 that because I'm just like, I just want to be left alone. 35:09 Why do I have to decide? 35:12 But after a while, you know, I realize the children, I'll just 35:16 hear their whispering. 35:17 Like, let's say mommy's in the bedroom and I'm in the kitchen. 35:21 I'll see one of the kids walk across and they won't come to 35:24 me, but they'll walk down the hall and then I just hear 35:26 whispering. 35:27 And then I'll hear, what did daddy say? 35:31 I didn't ask daddy. 35:33 Go ask daddy. 35:35 And I realize, okay, it's my responsibility to step up to 35:38 the plate and, you know, it also helps to, like you were 35:42 talking about, about showing the kids that it's mommy and 35:46 we're on a team together. 35:48 You can't, they will do their utmost to try to break up the 35:52 team. 35:53 And I realize... 35:54 We're good at it too. 35:55 Yes. 35:57 And I realize it's really Satan trying to get a foothold in the 36:02 family. 36:06 together. 36:07 If mommy makes a decision that I don't like, you know, I 36:11 realize that's not the time for me to voice that, you know, 36:16 necessarily in front of the children. 36:18 The team effort is that we go aside and we, you know, discuss 36:22 this with each other and vice versa. 36:25 She doesn't make all the bad decisions. 36:26 I make enough myself. 36:28 So, but the overall picture is that, you know, we're 36:34 constantly working together to portray to the children, it's 36:38 mommy and daddy first. 36:39 And then you guys, it's not that we don't love you, but if 36:42 we don't love one another, then we cannot love you properly. 36:46 So, yeah. 36:50 know I regret this, but when we were going through trials, I 36:53 would be like, I'm mad at him and I'll go sleep in the 36:56 children's room and don't even sleep in the bed. 36:59 And I didn't realize how much that affected our marriage. 37:03 And I know I have friends to this day that they sleep with 37:07 their kids or, you know, and I realize how important it is for 37:11 children need to be in their own room and parents need to be 37:14 together, regardless of whatever trials you go through, 37:17 whatever you're going through, you need to be in bed with your 37:20 husband and wife. 37:22 Yes. 37:22 That's right. 37:25 children's room. 37:27 You get the couch. 37:29 No, we've never had a night like that. 37:32 Wow. 37:32 We haven't. 37:33 I think during COVID, we did. 37:36 Well, that's the only time during COVID. 37:38 I said, I don't want to get what you have. 37:39 The next few days I got what you had. 37:41 But to not compound it, I slept in one room and she slept in 37:44 another, but the obvious reasons was because of this 37:47 terrible COVID situation. 37:50 But, you know, we don't have those, and this is the other 37:53 thing, we don't have those, and praise God for that, we don't 37:55 have those, I haven't spoken to her for days. 37:57 Oh, no. 37:58 Oh, we cannot do that. 37:59 I mean, like an hour, I'll give a room and I'll come back and 38:03 say, you okay? 38:06 I'm okay. 38:08 You okay? 38:09 I'm okay. 38:09 I'm sorry. 38:11 I really didn't mean that. 38:12 I mean, you were right. 38:14 And there are some times that we apologize for something we 38:18 didn't do. 38:19 And then we'd say, you don't have to apologize, but let me 38:22 apologize, but let me apologize first. 38:26 Making up is sweet. 38:27 Making up is a beautiful thing to do. 38:28 So we've never had those, and early in the marriage, I 38:31 remember one night particularly, we went to bed, 38:33 we just, you know when you're mad at each other, you just, 38:36 you don't get into bed, you slither into bed, like you 38:39 don't want the bed to shake. 38:41 That's so true. 38:46 Where's that foam that does not let the other person go on the 38:48 bed? 38:52 your neck is about to break. 38:54 You know how many times I've done that? 38:58 No. 38:59 And he acts like he's sleeping. 39:02 I know he did that. 39:04 3 o'clock, 3.30, 4.30. 39:05 Starts scooting a little bit. 39:07 Yeah, scooting all the way. 39:08 You awake? 39:09 No. 39:12 I'd answer, no. 39:14 And then we say, you know, this is ridiculous. 39:18 We just scoot over, just start a little bit. 39:22 Why do we have to be, why do we have to, why do we let this get 39:25 to us like this? 39:26 And then you realize, as Christ loved the church, because 39:30 sometimes his bride, the church, can want to go its own 39:34 way. 39:36 And he says, like he did to Goma and Hosea and Goma. 39:43 Goma, which was a symbol of Israel, went away from her 39:48 husband, decided to live her own life. 39:51 And Hosea waited patiently. 39:52 And the Lord said, you know, don't run after her, but I'll 39:57 make her journey difficult so that she'll come back to you 40:00 and say, it was better with me then than it is with me now. 40:03 That reconciliation. 40:05 And who was waiting? 40:06 Hosea was waiting. 40:07 So yeah, we've had that. 40:09 But I want to go to something. 40:11 Let's go to Ephesians, Chapter 5. 40:13 We have two things that are very necessary in marriage. 40:18 Ephesians, Chapter 5. 40:20 And let me see. 40:20 We started with Darrell before. 40:22 Let's start with one of the ladies. 40:23 Honey, I'll let you pick. 40:25 Oh, Angela. 40:25 Okay, Ephesians 5, 33. 40:27 33. 40:29 Nevertheless, let each one of you, in particular, so love his 40:33 own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects 40:38 her husband. 40:39 Okay, now look at the two things. 40:41 What did you see in there? 40:42 What did you see, Sasha? 40:43 Mine is a different version, but I remember respect, and I 40:48 can't remember the husband's one. 40:51 Okay. 40:55 Respect. 40:56 Let's talk about that. 40:57 Respect. 40:58 We've seen this happen throughout the years. 41:00 I mean, this should have actually been a four hour 41:02 program. 41:02 I know. 41:04 You're getting free counseling here. 41:06 But really, I've seen how have you seen that play out in your 41:10 relationship, love and respect. 41:12 What does the wife want? 41:14 Love. 41:16 Love. 41:16 Love. 41:17 Respect. 41:17 Respect. 41:20 respects you, you can come home and close the door and really 41:23 don't care about what's happening outside in the world. 41:26 Same thing with ladies. 41:27 Talk about that. 41:30 I feel terrible. 41:33 We want to be loved as women, don't we? 41:36 I like touch, right? 41:38 I think that's my love language. 41:40 I like touch, because growing up I had that. 41:44 And you had it too. 41:45 I did. 41:46 Yeah. 41:50 And he'll come up behind me, I'm in the kitchen and he'll 41:52 come up, he did it again today, come up behind me and, hey 41:55 honey, and kiss me on my neck. 41:57 It was so sweet. 41:58 Little things like that. 42:01 Okay, here's one of them. 42:03 Sometimes I come in the house and I go straight to the 42:06 kitchen. 42:09 Start the dinner and I take my shoes off. 42:12 Guess what? 42:12 I don't have my slippers on. 42:14 And he'll come with my slippers, put it right there in 42:19 the kitchen. 42:19 He still does that. 42:21 All these years, he still does that. 42:23 He just did it again a couple days ago. 42:25 Put the slippers here, honey. 42:27 And I'm like, oh, thanks. 42:29 And it's good to say thank you to your spouse. 42:33 And it's good for your children to hear it too. 42:34 It's good for your children to hear that. 42:36 They're learning, right? 42:38 They're learning from mom and dad how to treat their wife or 42:41 their husband. 42:42 Now let me throw this out to the husbands. 42:45 What do you feel, how do you feel if there's a moment coming 42:48 up and you feel that your wife is not respecting you in that 42:50 moment? 42:51 Not that it happened, but let's just talk about it. 42:54 For me, I've learned over the years to be more introspective 43:00 in those moments because I ask myself, well, why is she being 43:05 like that towards me? 43:11 Even when she's upset with me, she'll still make breakfast and 43:15 lunch and dinner for me. 43:18 And it's just like sometimes I step back and I say, why? 43:21 Why are you doing this? 43:22 Why are you being so nice? 43:24 And I realize that in those moments, it teaches me to 43:31 soften up and to be, I think one of the things that a lot of 43:35 men, the problem that we have is we forget to show those 43:40 early attentions, like what you were mentioning about bringing 43:43 the slippers and all of that. 43:47 situations are pivotal because when we first got together, 43:52 there were a lot of things that we, you know, you have hearts 43:55 in your eyes and, you know, there's nothing that you could 43:57 do that was wrong. 43:59 And then you fast forward to that first year of marriage. 44:02 And, you know, a lot of people know that first year can be one 44:05 of the most trying years because you're bringing 44:08 different, not only different ideas, but different 44:10 personalities, different ways of doing things in the house. 44:14 And don't mention when you have children, like I was raised 44:18 this way and you were raised that way. 44:21 This is how I'm going to, you know, but like, you know, I 44:26 think that as long as you keep focus on those, not just the 44:32 early attentions, but also when she feels a certain way, like I 44:38 said, being introspective, not thinking that she has a 44:42 problem. 44:44 But at the same time, is there something that I have done that 44:48 has brought this about? 44:49 Because I know I'm not perfect. 44:50 And sometimes as I sit there, I'm like, yeah, you could have 44:53 said this differently or you could have done this 44:56 differently. 45:00 typically when we have a resolution to our issues, it's 45:05 less of a verbal resolution. 45:07 It's more of a, we kind of just walk up to each other, look at 45:11 each other. 45:12 Try not to smile. 45:14 Yeah. 45:15 And I think it's because we have consistently, and it's 45:19 just by the grace of the Lord, but it's because we've 45:23 consistently, we take it to the Lord, even though we're kicking 45:25 and screaming saying, but she, you know, and, you know, it 45:31 makes me think of Matthew 18, where it talks in verse 21. 45:37 I don't know if you want to look at it. 45:40 Sure. 45:42 Verse 21 to, actually, verse 21 to 35. 45:46 Matthew what? 45:47 Matthew 18. 45:48 Go right to the central focus of it. 45:50 Sure. 45:57 forgiven a great debt. 45:59 And, you know, he was forgiven because he asked to be forgiven 46:05 of this debt. 46:06 And then he finds his fellow servant and he has this refusal 46:11 to show the same mercy that was shown to him. 46:14 And I realize that happens so much in marriages where we have 46:17 this refusal to show that mercy that has been shown us by God. 46:23 And it's like, you know, woe is me Lord. 46:25 Why is it that I'm not willing to forgive my wife? 46:28 And when it's a marriage, you can treat people who are 46:32 outside of your home, you know, you smile at them, you know, 46:35 everybody thinks you're great. 46:36 Everybody's good. 46:38 But like, you know, somebody gives you praise and then your 46:41 spouse is just sitting there and saying, you know, I know 46:44 how they are at home. 46:45 Yes. 46:46 Yes. 46:47 And I realize a lot of the times it's because we harbor 46:50 these feelings of unforgiveness. 46:54 But if couples were more willing to heed these words 46:57 that are found in these verses to forgive each other, then we 47:01 would actually, you know, when you partake in forgiving 47:05 someone else, you realize the character of Christ to forgive 47:09 people who didn't deserve it. 47:12 And, you know, it's just to me, it's beautiful and it also will 47:15 help your marriage to grow and blossom. 47:20 Do you want to add anything to that, Sasha? 47:24 Put me on the spot. 47:27 I agree. 47:29 I had a thought, I don't remember what it was, but yes. 47:35 When it chimes back, let's... 47:36 So when going about forgiveness, you know, I had to 47:40 choose one of the hardest forgiveness, you know, marriage 47:43 is forever. 47:44 It's like when your house is broken, you don't go sell it, 47:47 you fix it. 47:48 And with our marriage, which I love my husband, my husband is 47:52 my best friend, and we just, God has really healed our 47:55 marriage. 47:59 or does something wrong, how far is your forgiveness going 48:03 to go? 48:04 And, you know, I chose to forgive my husband. 48:07 And the reason I chose to forgive him was because I'm 48:10 just like, how much did God forgive me? 48:13 You know, how could I not forgive my husband? 48:16 And God forgave me. 48:17 And I think marriage, you know, even though it is hard, and we 48:21 go through stuff, and right now, we try to help other 48:25 couples with, you know, going through stuff. 48:28 And there is hope in your marriage with Christ. 48:31 There is. 48:32 You know, and it's just, it's hard, marriage is hard, but 48:37 with Christ and loving each other, it takes work. 48:39 It really does. 48:41 You know, and I kind of want to touch on what we talked about 48:45 in Ephesians 5.33, where it talked about, you know, 48:50 husbands loving their wives and wives respecting their 48:52 husbands. 48:55 know, we won't go into our whole testimony. 48:58 We've shared it here before on 3 ABN. 49:00 So, but I had to learn, because I don't think I really had a 49:04 good example growing up of what a marriage looked like. 49:09 You know, all I could say is the apple didn't fall far from 49:13 the tree. 49:14 And in many ways, where my father went wrong is where I 49:17 went wrong. 49:18 From alcohol to adultery, I mean, you name it, is kind of, 49:22 I repeated what he had done. 49:24 And so, I didn't have, you know, a good picture of what 49:29 it, so I had to learn through all the trials that we went 49:32 through. 49:36 because I wish they never happened, but at the same time, 49:38 it made us who we are. 49:40 And we have a testimony now, because we've gone through so 49:43 much discomfort, so much hurt, so much pain, so much fighting, 49:47 so many tears. 49:48 I mean, just sleepless nights. 49:50 It really has made our marriage incredibly strong. 49:54 Oh, I mean, and like my wife alluded to, now we have the 49:58 opportunity to share with other couples and say, look, there 50:01 may not have been love there in the beginning, or maybe that 50:04 love has been tainted, that respect may not have been there 50:06 in the beginning, and maybe that respect has been tainted, 50:09 but God can heal that marriage. 50:11 God can bring what Satan has tried to destroy from the very 50:15 beginning, God can bring that back together, and not only 50:17 will he bring it back together, but he's just going to make it 50:20 that much more powerful, because this really is my best 50:23 friend, my lover. 50:25 I mean, I can't live this life without this woman, and any 50:28 time that I know that I have done something to hurt her, it 50:33 absolutely breaks me and destroys me, to where before I 50:36 would just, you know, and turn around, you know, roll over, go 50:40 to sleep, kind of whatever, but now it's, you know, this is, I 50:45 know for a fact, God has given me this woman for a very 50:48 particular purpose. 50:49 I see it all the time, and as you talked about forgiveness, I 50:54 saw the forgiveness of Jesus in my wife, in what she has known 50:57 me, and that's made me not only love her more, but also made me 51:02 love God more, and see just a little bit, a little taste of 51:06 what his forgiveness is like towards us, and that's, I 51:09 think, one of the reasons why we have marriage, is it's a 51:11 teacher, it's teaching us about God's love, it's teaching us 51:14 about, you know, his forgiveness, it's teaching 51:17 about his long suffering and how to work things out, just 51:19 like how he works things out with us, and it's just, it's 51:22 beautiful, you know, despite the difficulties. 51:25 And it's stronger. 51:27 That's the key. 51:28 You made a point, if the house is broken, do you get rid of 51:32 it? 51:32 No. 51:34 I probably heard that from you. 51:38 Well, we were raised in a generation, this is kind of 51:40 crazy, but we were raised in a generation, if it's broke, fix 51:43 it. 51:44 Nowadays, high school college students can go from 51:48 neighborhood to neighborhood and find a chair on the 51:50 sidewalk that just has a slight rip in it, and people throw it 51:53 away, or throw it in their bed, and people throw it away. 51:55 You can get a whole house. 51:56 I've seen college students that, where'd you get all your 51:58 furniture from? 51:59 Driving around the neighborhood. 52:01 And people in this J&A, they throw things away. 52:03 Whereas in our generation, we go out and get the glass and 52:06 replace the broken glass rather than buying a whole window. 52:09 And so we've had, in our own marriage, times where we had to 52:12 learn to fix it. 52:13 To say, you know, and we had to get ourselves out of the way. 52:19 Absolutely. 52:21 about this a little more. 52:23 The respect and the love thing is massive. 52:27 Okay, tell the story about, you know who in one of our churches 52:30 when his wife embarrassed the elder. 52:34 Yeah, and she's deceased now, so I think this is a time to 52:37 tell the story. 52:38 We had an elder in one of our churches, not in Thompsonville, 52:42 but in one of our churches where he was the head elder, 52:44 and when church was over, she's kind of like, hey, let's go! 52:50 And he's the second in command leader in the church. 52:53 He was like, I've got to go. 52:54 And his wife would embarrass him publicly all the time. 52:56 She would always disrespect him. 52:58 And we would do things like, how well do you know each 53:00 other? 53:03 you know your wife? 53:05 Like a Vespas program. 53:07 And he would get the wrong answer. 53:08 She said, I told you you didn't know your Bible. 53:11 And she said that publicly. 53:12 And he's the head elder. 53:13 And it was like, these little things just irritated him to no 53:17 end. 53:23 once, and his anger for women, his anger for his wife, came 53:27 out on the anger for the women. 53:29 And I was out of town with the evangelistic series. 53:32 He told every woman he can how he felt. 53:34 Including me! 53:35 Including her. 53:36 We had to take him out of office because we said, that's 53:38 the wrong spirit. 53:40 But we know that it was coming from that. 53:42 He was overcompensating for the kind of respect he didn't get 53:46 at home. 53:46 And so ladies, let me just make this example. 53:49 You know what? 53:51 One lady, tell what Annie called you. 53:54 She's deceased now. 53:55 Yeah, one day she says, Angela, she was a church member in 53:59 California, she said, what I like about you is you never 54:03 talk bad about your husband. 54:06 I said, oh, well praise the Lord. 54:07 She says, you know, me and her would talk all the time. 54:11 And she says, what I like, you've never said anything bad 54:15 about him because we've been friends for over 30 years. 54:19 We have always kept in touch. 54:21 You've never said anything bad about your husband. 54:24 I don't talk about him. 54:25 I don't talk about him to other people. 54:28 Anything bad, we keep it between each other. 54:31 So many couples go and tell other people. 54:35 And then when we solve our issue, other people get mad. 54:39 They try to get involved. 54:41 They never forget it. 54:43 Yes, they never forget it. 54:49 One high point of advice to couples. 54:52 If you have issues, go to a pastor. 54:56 Don't even go to your family first because they cannot 54:58 divorce the idea that you are your father's daughter or your 55:02 mother's son. 55:03 They would just open that anger on your spouse and never forget 55:06 it. 55:07 Go where you can get. 55:08 Pray, first of all, use the Matthew 18. 55:10 If you can do that, humble yourself, give yourself some 55:12 time, but never dog your spouse. 55:16 That's a loose term. 55:17 Don't disintegrate them and deconstruct them in the ears 55:20 and eyes of other people because when you got your stuff 55:22 together, they'll never forget it. 55:29 Your wife and you got it fixed, but they'll never forget it. 55:32 You've got to value that. 55:33 It's like a fortress. 55:36 Because in bad times, the other thing is people don't respect 55:41 you when they know you're junk. 55:45 Just honor that respect, honor that love. 55:48 Two words. 55:49 No, it's respect and love. 55:51 When the wife knows she's loved, she'll respect her 55:54 husband. 55:57 wife. 55:57 Goes a long way. 56:01 The other thing is, go ahead. 56:04 There's a common denominator, if you will, between those two 56:07 things. 56:07 It's not self-focused. 56:09 It's very outward focused. 56:13 It's the wife focusing on the husband and the husband 56:15 focusing on the wife. 56:16 There's no selfishness there involved. 56:19 It's just what can I do for the other person? 56:21 That was one of the most powerful prayers that I 56:23 actually ever said was, Lord, help me be a better husband to 56:27 my wife. 56:28 That just catapulted things in our own marriage. 56:31 Instead of being like, Lord, help my wife understand me 56:35 more. 56:38 It was, Father, help me be a better husband. 56:41 You prayed that prayer when you were single. 56:44 No, no, no. 56:45 To give you a wife. 56:47 A godly wife, in other words. 56:49 And the Lord answered that prayer. 56:51 And I have to say publicly, I wouldn't be who I am as a 56:54 pastor or any other husband had the Lord not given me this 56:57 woman as my wife. 56:59 Angela, there was not a woman in America the Lord wanted me 57:03 to marry. 57:03 She got my wife from England. 57:06 I'm looking around America. 57:07 There's not anybody here. 57:08 Let's get her from England. 57:10 And we're going to talk about how beautiful that is. 57:12 And we're going to also talk about in the second hour, what 57:14 happens when you are unequally yoked? 57:17 And what's the difference between a choice and a mistake? 57:21 Because a lot of people don't know the difference. 57:23 What happens? 57:24 What are the top ten reasons why relationships disintegrate? 57:27 And then what about communication? 57:28 How can you communicate effectively? 57:30 Dealing with conflict, which is very important. 57:33 And how to keep a relationship growing. 57:36 And principles for fidelity and then your love languages. 57:39 Don't go away. 57:40 Just getting started. 57:41 To have to hold on, we'll be right back. |
Revised 2025-02-13