Participants: Aaron Chaney (Host), Britney Carter
Series Code: TNJ
Program Code: TNJ000040
00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned that some material
00:05 may be too candid for younger children.
00:09 Welcome to the New Journey.
00:10 Today, we meet a young woman who transported drugs,
00:13 but now minister the word of God to young people.
00:16 Find out how? Join us on the New Journey.
00:50 Welcome back to the New Journey.
00:51 On today's program, we have Britney Carter with us.
00:55 Welcome, Britney Carter.
00:56 Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here.
00:58 Okay, okay.
01:00 What we want to start with is some general questions.
01:03 First of all how old are you?
01:04 I'm 27 years old.
01:06 Okay and where you from?
01:08 I'm from North Carolina, in between Whitesboro,
01:13 New Jersey and North Carolina, I was raised.
01:14 Okay, okay, okay.
01:17 So, your mother and your father,
01:18 they divorced when they were, when you were young age?
01:23 How did that make you feel internally?
01:24 Oh, man, I felt alone because of the issues
01:30 that they were going through.
01:32 They kind of somewhat neglected my emotion
01:34 or what I had to deal with, with my home being separated.
01:38 So I was sent to North Carolina with my grandmother
01:41 and I was lonely.
01:43 And I really didn't have anybody to play with.
01:45 My brother and sister were still with my parents.
01:47 I was sad, I was confused, I didn't understand
01:50 a lot of things that were happening.
01:52 You know, it's interesting there's a,
01:53 there's a lot of young people that,
01:55 you know, they grow up in homes that
01:57 mothers and fathers have divorced.
01:59 And, you know, they're often left with that
02:02 alone feeling or did I do something wrong.
02:05 Absolutely. To cause my parents to divorce.
02:07 Did you ever have that kind of feeling like
02:09 maybe you were the cause of it?
02:10 Well, no, I never felt like I was the cause
02:12 because we went through a lot as a family
02:17 because of the lifestyle that my parents led.
02:20 So, I had a good understanding
02:22 of why my parents were not together anymore.
02:25 So, I didn't feel the blame, but I was affected by it still.
02:29 Okay, okay.
02:30 Now, your mother and your father,
02:32 they were recreational drug users.
02:35 Do you think that that, that kind of propelled you
02:37 into the lifestyle of selling
02:39 and using drugs later on in life?
02:40 Absolutely. Okay.
02:42 It definitely did because that was what I knew.
02:44 And even though as I grew older I knew it was wrong.
02:47 It was one of those things where you say.
02:50 "Well, I know it's not okay to do this
02:51 but I mean, it's okay to do it."
02:53 You know, I'm gonna do it because that's what I'm used to
02:56 and I know that if I do this, I'm not gonna lack anything.
02:59 What were some of the drugs
03:01 that your mother and father used
03:03 that you would see them using as you were growing up?
03:07 I never saw them with my own eyes using drugs, using them.
03:12 I saw the drugs. It was cocaine and marijuana.
03:17 But, you know, I find it under the bed
03:20 or several times my door was broken down by the police.
03:24 And they'd find it in different places in the house
03:26 or will get pulled over by the cops.
03:29 I'll see my mom like stuffing the diaper bag,
03:32 so she can try to hide it so I saw it,
03:34 but I didn't know until I got older that they were users.
03:37 Okay, so as a young person when you would see
03:38 these police officers knocking down your door,
03:41 did that kind of instilled a fear in you,
03:44 or a little bit unrest of not sure what's going on?
03:47 Definitely, definitely unrest.
03:50 Not really a fear because I mean,
03:52 I didn't understand the consequence at the time.
03:56 So, it was like an uneasy feeling all the time,
03:59 uncomfortable feeling not knowing
04:02 when something big might happen
04:04 because this major to be sitting
04:06 in the living room at home watching a movie.
04:10 You know, everybody is laid out on the floor
04:11 and all of a sudden bam, you know,
04:13 your door is knocked down.
04:15 Door knocked down, police come running in.
04:16 So, it's just like, "Oh, my gosh.
04:18 When is that going to happen again?
04:19 Okay. Is it going to happen again?
04:21 It's scary. You informed me.
04:23 That you had been molested at a young age.
04:26 Talk about that a little bit?
04:30 It started when I was maybe about five years old.
04:35 And we went to visit some family in New York.
04:38 And there was a bunch of us and everybody was on the floor
04:42 with blankets, and pillows, and sleeping
04:44 and I remember waking up to that feeling
04:50 of somebody touching me down there.
04:52 And when I looked up,
04:53 it was actually one of my uncles.
04:56 And he was laying beside me,
04:57 and he was trying to penetrate me
05:00 while I was lying down.
05:01 Now, did that happen repeatedly through life or...?
05:03 From him, that was the only time.
05:07 It happened later when I moved to North Carolina
05:09 after my parents' divorce by my grandmother's husband.
05:13 So, as a young person going through something like that,
05:17 how does that make you feel emotionally?
05:18 Oh, my gosh.
05:20 That's when you feel like what have I done.
05:23 Okay. To cause this to happen to me.
05:25 So, it's kind of like you start to blame yourself for.
05:26 You do, you start to blame yourself
05:28 because you're trying to figure out like what did I do.
05:30 You know, why, why did they decide to do this to me.
05:33 It's a very scary feeling, and living in a lifestyle
05:38 with my parents being, you know,
05:41 drug users and sellers, you see a lot of violence.
05:46 So, it's almost like, you know, I don't want to say anything
05:49 because I'm afraid of what's going to happen
05:51 that you constantly live in fear
05:53 because it destroys your trust for anybody.
05:56 Okay. Okay, that's understandable.
05:58 You know, I've heard many people say that
06:00 they were molested, many females
06:02 molested at a young age.
06:03 And then it's hard to maintain relationships
06:06 with men later on in life
06:09 due to what has happened in the past.
06:11 Has that been kind of your case throughout life or...?
06:15 Not really. Okay.
06:17 I didn't entrust that well.
06:19 I had the same boyfriend from the time
06:21 that I was 14 until I was 25.
06:24 He died in a car accident.
06:28 I didn't have an issue with maintaining the relationship,
06:34 I had an issue with trust.
06:35 Trust, okay.
06:36 And I was constantly worrying, or constantly accusing,
06:41 or constantly blaming, never settled,
06:43 never happy, never at peace.
06:46 You know, the trust was just not there
06:48 along with several other things
06:49 that happened throughout the years following that.
06:53 That's understandable.
06:54 Now, you told me that your mother
06:56 was eventually in a car accident.
06:58 Yes. And it left her blind.
07:00 It did.
07:01 How did that affect your life when that happened?
07:04 That actually pulled me closer to God.
07:08 I want to say, I was maybe about nine or ten years old.
07:12 I want to say, I was nine, it was about a year after her,
07:15 my mom, her and my, father divorced.
07:18 And I didn't know what happened at first,
07:21 it was like a big secret.
07:22 You know, I kept saying, "Gosh!
07:24 Why haven't I heard from my mom, she hasn't called?
07:26 I'm all the way here in North Carolina."
07:29 And the thing that I hope for every day
07:31 was to hear from my mom, so a time spent went
07:33 by where I didn't hear from her for a while.
07:35 And I was like, "Gosh! I wonder what's going on."
07:37 So, I actually had a cousin that said, "Yeah,
07:40 your mom was in the car accident, she's blind."
07:42 I'm like, "No, she's not."
07:44 And I remember getting so angry and so mad
07:45 because he said that,
07:47 but then my grandmother broke down
07:48 and she told me the truth.
07:50 And she said that she was in the accident.
07:51 The airbag burst and it broke the glass in her frames,
07:57 and it went into her eyes.
07:58 So the glass shattered into her eyes.
08:00 The glass shattered into her eyes
08:01 and they said that she would never be able to see again.
08:03 And from that point on is where I remember learning
08:07 how to pray every day.
08:08 Okay. Like that became my thing.
08:10 You know, I went to church sometimes
08:12 but it was like day, morning, noon, night,
08:17 you know, while I'm in school,
08:18 I was constantly thinking about it.
08:20 And it was like just talking to God all day every day.
08:23 Okay, now, you eventually got into drugs
08:26 like your mother and father used drugs
08:28 when you were younger.
08:29 At what age did you kind of
08:31 become involved with using drugs?
08:32 Fourteen. Okay.
08:34 And I know for most folks that use drugs,
08:37 it's generally at a young age.
08:38 I know for myself, I started when I was about 15 years old
08:42 and, you know, it's kind of like this downhill spiral.
08:45 So, at 14 you started using drugs.
08:47 What were some of those drugs you were involved with?
08:49 The only drug I used was marijuana.
08:53 And I don't want to simplify that,
08:54 because that was quite too much, is it?
08:58 Marijuana is being a simplified,
08:59 but it is an issue and it was an addiction for me.
09:02 Okay. Yes.
09:03 Now you eventually got into transporting drugs
09:07 with your then boyfriend.
09:08 How did all of that transpire?
09:10 Well, he grew up pretty much
09:13 in the same lifestyle that I did.
09:16 So, that was what he did, when he got to a age
09:20 of being able to move around by himself.
09:23 And I was his girlfriend. Okay.
09:26 And that's what we did.
09:27 You know, I tried to look out for him.
09:30 I wanted to protect him in any way shape or form.
09:33 And anybody that lives in that kind of lifestyle
09:36 knows that, it's like a line of loyalty and trust.
09:39 So, because we're together, I trust you,
09:43 I don't trust anybody else. I need you to do this for me.
09:46 And I was comfortable with it, because I saw my mom do it,
09:51 you know, my whole childhood.
09:53 So, I was like, this is what I'm supposed to do.
09:55 Yeah. Okay, okay.
09:57 I know for myself.
09:58 I got into transporting drugs
10:00 and I was transporting marijuana
10:02 from Texas to North Carolina years ago.
10:06 And, you know, you see,
10:08 you see this big reward out of it.
10:09 You know, you're moving on this way,
10:11 and you know you get all this money
10:12 and stuff like that.
10:14 So, I imagine it that you were seeing lots of money
10:16 in transporting these drugs.
10:18 Yes. Okay.
10:19 We saw lots of money.
10:20 It was so bad to the point where you start finding money
10:23 you didn't even know you had.
10:25 You know, like we were moving from one place.
10:28 A couple of years after that
10:29 and we were going through our clothes
10:31 and we found like a couple of bundles of $1000
10:34 in our clothes and stuff and it was nothing.
10:36 Okay. Okay. You know.
10:37 What were some of the drugs that you were transporting?
10:41 We were transporting cocaine and crack.
10:46 Cocaine and crack, okay. Crack form.
10:47 Okay, yes, I know you're making a lot of money doing that.
10:51 It does carry a lot of money.
10:53 Does carry a lot of time behind it also.
10:56 For myself, I transported marijuana.
10:58 And, you know, the reward monetarily isn't as great
11:01 or is fast as cocaine but it still is a great reward.
11:07 But there was always something that was in your head,
11:09 even when you were out there selling drugs, using drugs,
11:13 on various relationships and all,
11:15 there was always this voice in your head.
11:16 Tell me about this voice in your head?
11:19 This voice was with me from the time
11:22 I can remember about two years old.
11:25 And at every pressure, any circumstance
11:30 where I felt a lot of pressure, the voice was louder.
11:33 You know, it was, "I'm there, you're gonna be okay,
11:38 I'm gonna protect you or you know,
11:41 just stay calm or just relax."
11:43 But when I got into doing things like transporting drugs,
11:48 the voice would say to me,
11:50 you know, you know you shouldn't do this.
11:52 Or this isn't the way for you to do it.
11:55 If you just trust me or if you just do
11:57 what I ask you to do, you know, you would be a lot happier.
12:01 And I'm just like, I never saw it.
12:03 Okay. I couldn't get the vision.
12:05 Like this was my life, this is what I was used to,
12:08 so how could I listen to this voice trying to tell me
12:11 I would be happier doing something
12:13 that I have never done before, you know.
12:15 Yeah, yeah. You know it's interesting.
12:17 You told me that you were eventually
12:19 put on depression medicine.
12:22 What were you put?
12:24 Why were you put on depression medicine?
12:26 Anger. Anger, okay.
12:28 Yes, I had a lot of built up anger.
12:30 Okay, now what was the anger towards?
12:33 Oh, man, the anger was, it was towards my mother.
12:35 Okay. It was towards my father.
12:38 It was towards God. Okay.
12:40 It was towards my boyfriend at the time.
12:44 There was a lot of cheating,
12:46 a lot of lying and a lot of being left alone,
12:48 because every time I would face serious situations in my life,
12:52 it would come back to me being by myself.
12:55 And that's what it was, so I would lash out.
12:58 Hurl, scream, howl or throw things.
13:00 I remember breaking windows in my house.
13:02 I remember running hitting him with a car.
13:05 You know like, I was blessed that God covered us
13:08 to the fact that neither one of us
13:09 were seriously injured by the behavior
13:12 that was going on in the relationship.
13:14 But I was like losing my mind. Okay, okay.
13:18 And that's understandable.
13:19 You know, the various things that we go through,
13:22 while we're "out there in the streets."
13:25 Lot of built up anger, frustration and all,
13:27 but did you get a inner peace or inner joy from using drugs,
13:33 selling drugs, did it give you that?
13:35 Absolutely not.
13:37 No, no why did it not give that to you?
13:38 It made me more miserable.
13:39 More miserable? I was--
13:41 It was so bad to where I hid the fact
13:45 that I was smoking marijuana for years.
13:48 But it was bad to where when I woke up in the morning,
13:51 I had to get high throughout the day.
13:53 As soon as my heart would start going down,
13:55 I have to get high again.
13:56 When nighttime come, I have to get high.
13:58 So, I can rest because it was,
14:00 it was like my guilt from that actions
14:03 and the behaviors and I mean, it was so many things
14:07 that I had done from setting up people to be robbed,
14:09 and shooting at people, and beating people over money.
14:13 Transporting these drugs, along with the abuse
14:16 that I had already went through in my childhood,
14:18 I was nowhere near at peace.
14:20 And my thoughts were literally destroying my mind.
14:24 So, I got high and higher and higher,
14:26 then I got more irritable, when I wasn't high
14:29 and more mean, you know, more aggravated.
14:31 And it was like, I had to do it to maintain
14:34 any kind of peace in my head but it just, it never worked.
14:37 So, it never provided any peace.
14:38 You know, many, many young people
14:40 get involved in the drugs, and the fast money,
14:43 and things thinking that is going
14:44 to bring some kind of joy to their lives.
14:47 In reality that I found was that the way God created us
14:53 was that we could only find inner joy
14:55 or inner peace through Him.
14:57 You can have the money. You can have the fast cars.
15:00 You can have the drugs and all these things,
15:01 but they won't ever bring that inner satisfaction.
15:05 Because God didn't design us that way.
15:08 So, you felt that same exact thing,
15:10 kind of like being trapped in this lifestyle.
15:13 Wanting to get out but not knowing where to go.
15:15 This is what you're used to your entire life.
15:18 Trapped. Okay.
15:19 I felt like there was no way for me to get out of it.
15:23 I was never going to be happy.
15:25 I really felt like the best way for me
15:27 to get out of it was to just kill myself.
15:29 Yeah, okay.
15:30 Now, and we're going to come back to that
15:32 in terms of killing yourself and the thoughts of suicide.
15:35 But if you can, look backing on your life now
15:38 and if you could change certain things in your lifestyle,
15:41 the things that you had to go through,
15:42 the things you got involved in, would you do that
15:45 or would you still take the same path?
15:46 I wouldn't change it.
15:48 You wouldn't change it? No.
15:49 Okay, now let me ask you why would you not change it?
15:50 I would not change it
15:52 because everything that I endured
15:53 and everything I went through made me who I am today.
15:57 And I would not trust God or love God
15:59 or depend on God the way that I do,
16:01 or have such a strong relationship with Him now
16:04 if I had not been faced with so many adversities.
16:07 Okay, now, you told me that you had a debate with God.
16:10 Yes. At one point, you were still--
16:12 you still out there are using drugs,
16:13 selling drugs things like that.
16:15 But you had a debate with God. Yes.
16:16 Talk to us about the debate you had with God?
16:19 God have been calling me
16:21 and talking to me my whole life.
16:24 I know I strayed way,
16:25 but it's not like I forgot who He was.
16:27 That was that voice that was constantly--
16:29 That was that voice on my head,
16:30 he wouldn't allow me to forget Him.
16:33 So, I got to a point where I wanted to do
16:35 what I was doing.
16:37 He kept telling me
16:38 that I needed to do something else.
16:40 And we were going back and forth,
16:41 and I was literally screaming outside on the porch.
16:44 I remember screaming, just leave me alone.
16:47 Get out of my head.
16:49 I'm not going to do what you're asking me to do.
16:51 I'm not cut out for this type of lifestyle,
16:53 just leave me alone.
16:54 And so simply he told me, "You either choose the life
16:58 that you're living and die or do what I ask you to do."
17:03 You know, I had that same kind of experience
17:06 especially for me growing up in a Christian household.
17:10 I was trying to run from God for so long,
17:13 and I could literally hear
17:14 the voice of God speaking to me.
17:17 And every time I would hear that voice,
17:19 I would purposely get high.
17:20 Purposely go ahead and snort some cocaine
17:22 or something to try to drown that voice out of my head.
17:26 Looking back on it, I praise the Lord that it didn't work.
17:29 It didn't work.
17:31 Holy Spirit continued to try to woo me and get my attention.
17:35 But you got to the point
17:37 where you were trying to commit suicide.
17:41 Even though you were making all this money,
17:43 doing all these different things out there
17:45 why, why were you contemplating suicide?
17:48 Because I was so miserable.
17:49 Okay. I hated myself.
17:52 I wasn't happy when I looked in the mirror.
17:54 My self-esteem was low.
17:56 I was in a relationship where I was very much in love
17:59 but it was just, it was just wrong.
18:05 Okay. On so many different levels.
18:06 I wasn't getting what I needed emotionally.
18:11 I was sad, I was hurt, I was broken, I just was in,
18:17 I was in constant pain everyday like,
18:19 when you're so emotionally torn
18:21 that it physically affects your body.
18:23 That it becomes,
18:27 how would I say comfortable for you to feel like that,
18:30 I had got uncomfortable with hurting 24 hours a day,
18:33 seven days a week.
18:34 Just miserable Yeah.
18:36 And, like I said, I didn't see a way out.
18:39 So, I could say, you know, everybody would keep telling me
18:42 you know, you can do all things through Christ.
18:44 And there's a way,
18:46 there's a light at the end of the tunnel,
18:47 God will bring you through.
18:49 But when you're in sorrow, the way that I was in,
18:51 you can't see it.
18:53 It's like I can't see myself coming out of this.
18:56 So, what can I do to just stop this pain.
18:59 Just stop it all, yeah.
19:00 And the only way I felt like I could stop
19:02 it was if I committed suicide.
19:04 Now, did you, did you ever actually attempt
19:06 or it was just kind of like the thoughts in your head?
19:10 I remember several times,
19:12 sitting up with a bunch of pill saying,
19:15 "I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this."
19:18 But never-- it seemed like every time
19:20 that I would get in that kind of situation,
19:22 something would interrupt me.
19:24 Somebody would come by, or somebody would call,
19:26 or something would happen.
19:27 And I remember not the last time,
19:30 but the time before the last time that I thought about it.
19:35 I think I found out I was pregnant like that night.
19:39 So, it was just like, "Oh, my gosh!"
19:43 Wow! Good thing at a bad timing.
19:45 Yeah. Bad timing.
19:47 Yeah. Well, great timing.
19:48 But at the time I was just like.
19:50 What is happening like, it felt like the worst thing
19:53 that could ever happen to me though.
19:54 You know, looking back you got to praise the Lord
19:57 that you thought about suicide, but you never went through it.
20:00 Never went through it.
20:02 You know, I had the same situation,
20:03 you know, how you get stuck in that circle of life.
20:06 And you want a change, you don't know how to change.
20:09 It's like you're trapped physically, mentally,
20:11 everything just trapped.
20:13 And I remember I actually kept trying.
20:16 I had various guns at the time
20:18 where I could have just shot myself in the head.
20:20 And did it, but I felt that that was kind of
20:23 a messy way to go out.
20:24 And what if I do it and I still happen to live.
20:27 Still happen to live.
20:29 So, what I try to do was take as many drugs
20:31 as I could at the time, using cocaine, heroin, ecstasy,
20:35 popping prescription pills, marijuana, alcohol.
20:38 And I thought to myself.
20:40 What if I just take so many drugs at overdose
20:43 and just fall asleep and not wake up.
20:45 I thought it would just be a peaceful way out of this.
20:48 But looking back on and I praise the Lord--
20:49 That it didn't work. Amen.
20:51 Because where God has me now,
20:52 where God has brought you Britney?
20:54 You know, it's great that it didn't work.
20:56 At what point did you begin to make that transition to God?
21:01 I started when I had my first son.
21:03 I started going to church more, I started praying more,
21:06 and trying to rebuild my relationship with God.
21:10 I wasn't that successful in the beginning
21:13 because there were still some things
21:14 that I was doing like getting high.
21:16 And I struggle with trying to stop.
21:18 So, I guess I was about 20 years old
21:20 when I started trying to rebuild.
21:22 Okay, what were, when you started
21:23 to try to make that change,
21:25 what were some of the biggest obstacles
21:26 that you had to overcome?
21:28 Getting high. Getting high, okay.
21:30 Okay, okay. That was the biggest obstacle.
21:32 Yes, because it was like I needed it.
21:35 I had already been doing it for so many years,
21:36 so I felt like I needed it to function.
21:39 So, it was the biggest obstacle because like I said,
21:41 I had mood swings, and I would get upset and angry
21:44 when I wasn't getting high,
21:45 so that was definitely the biggest obstacle for me.
21:48 All right, and that's understandable,
21:49 you know, sometimes we get so shackled to the things
21:52 that we love, to the things that we're accustomed to doing,
21:55 that even trying to make that change is very difficult.
21:59 You know, and the Bible says that,
22:00 "We wrestle not against flesh and blood."
22:02 So, it's like, it's a spiritual warfare that's going on,
22:05 even when we want to make this transition
22:08 is sometimes very hard, but you eventually did.
22:10 Yes. You made that transition.
22:12 And then you got into church.
22:14 And you did your first sermon,
22:15 it was entitled "Life after Death."
22:17 Yes. Talk briefly about that?
22:19 Life after Death actually came from the song Life after Death,
22:25 by the rapper Notorious B.I.G.
22:27 And basically what it was, was me giving my testimony
22:31 about my new life after being dead for so long.
22:36 So, everybody knows that.
22:38 You know, to me it's worse to die in the spirit,
22:42 than it is in the flesh.
22:43 And spiritually I was dead,
22:45 so I spoke about being resurrected.
22:49 After God, Jesus picked me up and placed me on my feet
22:53 and got me going for the right direction.
22:56 Praise the Lord. Now, you have--
22:58 You changed your life, you're in church
23:00 and you have this new contentment,
23:02 this new peace, even though you're not making
23:05 lots of money like before.
23:06 You're not involved in the streets anymore.
23:09 But, how can you explain this containment,
23:12 this peace that you now have,
23:14 even though you're lacking monetarily like from before.
23:18 The best way I can explain it is,
23:21 is the scripture that says,
23:22 "God will keep you in perfect peace."
23:25 And I sing that to myself on a daily basis
23:29 because even though I lack in my finances
23:32 and I'm struggling to try to get back
23:34 on my feet and start my career.
23:37 God has not allowed me to lack anything,
23:40 so for so many years of doing what I was doing
23:43 because I didn't want to lack.
23:45 Now, I'm in a position
23:46 where I don't have to worry about anything.
23:48 He provides everything I need,
23:49 my children don't lack anything.
23:51 You know, we're fed. We have a home.
23:54 you know, I drive a vehicle, and I have gas to put in it.
23:57 And I'm happier than I've been in my whole entire life.
24:01 I'm at peace with who I am,
24:02 I love myself more than I ever have.
24:05 And the love of God is what taught me,
24:07 that there's no greater love than God's love.
24:09 Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. That is very true.
24:10 And He definitely showed me that nobody can love me
24:13 better than He can.
24:14 Oh, yeah, that's right. And that's that perfect love.
24:15 Perfect love, that agape love. Oh, yeah.
24:19 Now, you said you have a point, that you wanted to read,
24:21 and I want you to read this point at this time
24:24 and also the Bible text that you have.
24:27 And, you know, talk to the young people
24:29 that have been in your situation
24:31 who are going through things right now
24:34 and can't seem to find a way out of it.
24:36 Talk to those people right now and read that point.
24:40 Okay, "Response list.
24:43 To the adversity have faced from day to day.
24:46 The pain I still endure from my past mistakes.
24:49 The cries for my children due to void and absence.
24:52 The gossip, the backbiting, the drama and emotion intense.
24:56 Response list.
24:58 To failure and falling, disappointments and discontent,
25:01 to pressure and opinions of need to repent,
25:05 to watchful, hopeful, sinister filled spectators.
25:08 To cynical motives and lack of knowledge behaviors.
25:12 To comments, distrust and lack of loyalty.
25:15 To jealousy, envy, hate, and deceit from she and he.
25:18 Response lists.
25:19 To set attacks from the adversary, chains,
25:22 yokes, walls, darkness and spiritual tearing.
25:25 To close door's hardship and lack in finance.
25:28 Misfortune, setbacks and mindless ignorance.
25:32 To shame, pride and minimizing self-worth.
25:35 To thoughts and emotions used to pierce consistent her.
25:39 To confusion, loneliness, pity and tears.
25:42 To endes torture endure for many, many years.
25:45 Response list.
25:47 Because negativity is not worth my response.
25:50 Because if I respond, I'm taking on a lot.
25:52 Because I choose to live past my past and prosper my life.
25:56 Because I can see past what went wrong
25:57 and be thankful for what is going right.
26:00 Because happiness is no longer what appear tend to be
26:03 because my happiness and my joy lie deep within me.
26:06 Because in the midst of everything,
26:07 peace still remains still.
26:09 Because Christ paid the price and footed the bill.
26:12 Because I know who I am, it's whom I belong,
26:14 because my life has turned into a sweet poem
26:17 for when I was counted out God lifted me up.
26:20 And none of this I consider to be luck
26:23 because I'm more than blessed.
26:24 And my story is just beginning,
26:26 because God has already perfected my living.
26:29 Because He's given me a world of endless possibilities.
26:32 Because everything great already lies within me.
26:36 And I depend on Isaiah, 40:31
26:39 "Because those who wait on the Lord,
26:42 who expect, look for and hope in him
26:44 shall change or know their strength and power.
26:47 They shall lift their wings and mound up
26:49 as eagles mount up to the sun.
26:51 They shall run and not be weary.
26:52 They shall walk and not be faint or become tired."
26:55 So, God didn't say that the weight would be easy,
26:59 the weight is hard,
27:00 but He is definitely a loving God,
27:02 who will lift you up, and mount you up,
27:04 and allow you to prosper and still be successful
27:07 through everything that you go through.
27:09 Oh, yeah, God is good. Amen.
27:10 God is good and if, if more of us
27:12 would just turn to God.
27:14 And let go of the things of the world to realize
27:17 that Satan is just out to destroy us.
27:20 There is a peace, a containment that you won't find
27:23 anywhere else except in Jesus Christ.
27:25 Britney, I like to thank you for being on the program.
27:28 Yes. Our time has slipped on by.
27:31 Viewers, we would like to thank you
27:33 for tuning into the New Journey.
27:35 Please be sure to tune in next week
27:38 for another exciting episode of the New Journey.
27:42 God be with you.