Participants: Aaron Chancy (Host), DeMarrus Miller
Series Code: TNJ
Program Code: TNJ000065
00:01 The following program discusses sensitive issues.
00:03 Parents are cautioned that some material
00:04 may be too candid for younger children.
00:10 Welcome to The New Journey,
00:11 a program where you'll meet real life people,
00:13 with real life testimonies,
00:14 doing real life ministry for Jesus Christ.
00:17 I'm your host Aaron Chancy,
00:18 come join us on The New Journey.
00:51 Well come back to The New Journey.
00:53 On today's broadcast with us, we have DaMarrus Miller.
00:56 DaMarrus, we like to thank you for being on the program.
00:58 Thank you for having me. All right, I appreciate it.
00:59 Just some general information if you can provide us
01:01 with your age and where you're from?
01:03 I am 34 years old. Okay.
01:06 I'm from Springfield, Massachusetts.
01:08 You didn't ask me but I just want to tell you,
01:10 I love the Boston Red Sox, I love the Boston Celtics,
01:13 I'm a New England Patriots fans,
01:15 I even like Boston Bruins, that's where I'm from.
01:16 Hmm, wow. Massachusetts all the way.
01:19 All the way. Okay.
01:21 If you could describe for us your early home life,
01:23 what it was like growing up in your home?
01:25 For me I must be honest, my early home life
01:28 was like the Huxtables.
01:29 Okay, okay. What do you mean that?
01:31 My dad was there, my mom was there.
01:32 I had two older brothers, very close knit family,
01:36 we did a lot of things together.
01:38 My father is really strong and strict on education,
01:41 as well as Christian values.
01:43 My mother was very motherly,
01:45 even though she dealt with boys and,
01:46 you know, the only woman in a house,
01:48 she was strong, but she was still sweet
01:50 and she was still very motherly in nature
01:53 nurturing to us boys,
01:54 so we had a very good Christian foundation
01:56 growing up.
01:58 Okay, so did you grow up
01:59 in the Seventh-day Adventist church
02:00 or another denomination?
02:02 Born and raised
02:03 in the Seventh-day Adventist church.
02:04 And my mom was a new convert when she met my father.
02:07 But we were raised Seventh-day Adventist,
02:10 I mean busy bee, adventurous, pathfinders,
02:13 I mean we were...
02:14 I am all the way Adventist.
02:16 Okay, okay.
02:17 What were some of the positive influences
02:19 growing up in your life?
02:20 I will be honest,
02:21 one of the most positive influences for me
02:23 was my father.
02:26 My father was a superman, man, he is a super dad.
02:28 I have so much respect even to this day for him.
02:32 His father wasn't there for him and the one thing he said
02:35 he would do is make sure his boys
02:37 grew up with their dad.
02:38 And so he did everything,
02:40 he was our coach for all sports,
02:43 he was our pathfinder director, our choir leader,
02:45 I mean he made sure that Sabbath wasn't issue for us
02:49 and because of that he would be in
02:50 different leadership positions to make sure
02:53 that his boys can have a life without having any issues,
02:57 did with the Sabbath and stuff like that,
02:58 so I played AAU ball, I played summer leagues,
03:01 I played church leagues,
03:02 I mean I did a lot of things
03:04 and my father made sure that
03:06 he would be a part of it as a leader for him
03:08 to make sure that we gonna have.
03:09 Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.
03:11 How much of an impact do you think it was,
03:13 how important it is do you think
03:15 to have a father in the home,
03:16 because, you know, there are some fathers,
03:19 they have children and they leave the home,
03:22 but, and we live in a society where that happens,
03:24 it's recurring constantly, and you know,
03:28 it needs to be some encouragement
03:29 for the fathers to stay home.
03:31 Why do you think it's so important
03:33 for the father to be in the home,
03:34 whether he has sons or whether he has daughters?
03:38 For me and I can only speak as a son,
03:40 not a daughter, but for me,
03:42 I would be nothing without my father.
03:44 Okay, wow.
03:45 Literally he not only told me the right things
03:49 and the wrong things but he told me
03:50 why not to do and why to do those things.
03:53 I can remember early in my life at two and three,
03:56 my dad will just pick me up and say,
03:58 you're a man, you're man of God.
04:00 He poured in so many different nuggets and jewels in our life
04:04 as young men, as young black men
04:06 as well that you're not gonna carry yourself anyway.
04:08 You're miller, but not only you're miller,
04:10 you're a man of God.
04:11 So at early age, man, he said you walk a certain way,
04:14 you talk a certain way, you treat women a certain way.
04:16 You just treat your community a certain way,
04:19 and so I can honestly say without my father,
04:22 and of course my mother but for me,
04:24 I was a daddy's boy.
04:26 I'm the youngest.
04:27 People say the baby,
04:28 I just say the youngest of them.
04:30 Where my father was, that's where I was.
04:32 I was on his hip and he would take me places
04:35 and introduced me to people
04:37 and everywhere I went people spoke
04:38 so highly of my dad, that's one thing
04:40 I want the people to speak of me.
04:42 I wanted people to say, man, I like that guy,
04:44 I don't know him but I like him...
04:46 I like him. Amen.
04:47 I mean, that's something my father did for me,
04:48 it's intangible.
04:50 Now you had a father in a home
04:51 just like I had a father in a home,
04:53 but for those don't...
04:55 those don't have a father in a home,
04:56 how do you think it affects them
04:58 in their view of God
04:59 being that God is to be our heavenly father.
05:01 How do you think they are affected by that?
05:03 I think each person is affected differently based off
05:07 their own experience, based off their own upbringing.
05:10 I might have some family members and friends
05:12 who don't have a father in their lives
05:14 and they understand the importance of God,
05:16 the Father...
05:19 So I think it just depends on
05:20 that person's experience in life...
05:22 Okay, okay.
05:23 Cultural, you know, their upbringing
05:25 on how they view God the Father.
05:27 Okay, okay. You know.
05:29 Definitely, definitely.
05:30 What do you think, you mentioned
05:31 some of the positive influences in your life being your father,
05:34 what were some of the negative influences in your life
05:36 you think?
05:37 I must be honest with you and for me...
05:41 It was myself...
05:42 Okay, wow.
05:43 My mind...
05:45 I was the kid that had a vivid imagination
05:48 where I would be one place
05:50 but my mind will be somewhere totally different.
05:53 I was a kid that was always in the crowd
05:55 but always felt alone.
05:56 So for me, I yearned
05:58 and had desire for the street life.
06:01 Okay, okay.
06:02 It was always close to me.
06:04 We were raised in the projects but I didn't know it.
06:07 One of those situations, it was always close to me,
06:09 always at my reach, but I can never get to it.
06:12 And so, in my mind, I began to yearn,
06:14 I began to imagine how would be to be a gangster.
06:19 So, I'm probably one of the guys
06:20 you'll call a veggie thug.
06:21 But not veggie thug as it
06:23 I'm a punk but veggie thug as in,
06:24 I was close to the thugs but I wasn't the thug.
06:28 So my family members, my mom and dad saw,
06:30 you know, they were killers but I wasn't a killer.
06:33 You know, but I went and spend time with my mom,
06:35 you know, my church was right in the hood,
06:37 Shiloh Seventh-Day Adventist Church in Springfield
06:40 where we reached out to the community
06:42 a lot of drug dealers would come and pray,
06:44 we had a gym in our church,
06:46 and, you know, it's very rare to find that
06:48 but we had a full core gym in our church
06:50 and we would open up to the community,
06:52 and there was so many gangsters
06:53 and so many drug guys will come and play basketball in.
06:57 As a young kid, my father would open a gym for them
06:59 and I would just watch them.
07:01 I watched the guy coming in drunk to play basketball.
07:05 I watched the guy smelling like smoking marijuana
07:08 coming and playing ball,
07:09 and I begin to imitate those things in my mind.
07:12 Yeah. Wow.
07:13 And so, sometimes I would pretend to be high
07:15 when I wasn't.
07:16 Yeah. Wow.
07:17 That my eyes all, you know, squinched in,
07:19 you know, talking on, but I wasn't.
07:21 And so for me, my greatest enemy was myself,
07:23 was my mind.
07:25 Yeah, okay. Now did you see those things?
07:26 Did you view the smoking, the drinking as being cool?
07:31 See, there is a difference between being cool
07:35 in a way of life.
07:36 Okay. That was just the way of life.
07:37 Yeah. You drink, you smoke.
07:39 You know that's just what you did
07:41 and so my community,
07:43 my environment outside of my house.
07:45 Family on my mother side and father side,
07:46 that's what they did.
07:48 So family reunions, just going over cousin's house to eat
07:52 and stuff like that, you saw different things.
07:55 That for me was intriguing.
07:57 Yeah. Wow, wow.
07:58 So you eventually got involved in drinking, smoking,
08:00 drugs or whatever.
08:01 At what age did you start
08:03 that as well as what were some of the narcotics
08:05 that you got involved with?
08:07 For me, um...
08:08 I can remember this like it was yesterday.
08:10 Six grade I graduated from the Dare program.
08:13 Okay. I came home.
08:14 But you're talking about the Dare to Say, No to Drugs.
08:16 Dare to Say...
08:17 Okay. Yeah.
08:18 I graduate from the Dare program,
08:20 came home that evening
08:21 and I've seen one of my close relatives,
08:26 sibling of mine...
08:27 Okay. My brother was smoking weed.
08:31 I caught him, I couldn't believe it.
08:33 I said, you gonna die, don't you know,
08:35 I just graduated from the Dare program.
08:36 What you're doing?
08:38 And so, he begin to tell me, he said,
08:41 who do you know ever died of smoking weed.
08:42 Yeah, wow.
08:44 At that time, Aaron, I didn't know anybody who died.
08:45 You know I was in sixth grade.
08:48 And I begin to think, I don't really know anybody.
08:51 the Dare program taught me that tobacco use
08:54 is lung cancer.
08:55 Yeah, would cause cancer.
08:57 And cigarettes would cause lung cancer,
08:58 but marijuana, I didn't really hear too much about it.
09:02 So, I remembered my brother saying, listen, man,
09:04 don't go tell mom and dad, but think about it,
09:07 who do you know died of smoking weed.
09:10 My brother even went to say, it's from the herb, you know.
09:11 Wow, wow.
09:13 And so, it's what we grow here.
09:15 And at sixth, sixth, in sixth grade
09:17 that my mind began to turn.
09:20 Seventh grade had a best friend,
09:22 his name is Master Mercy.
09:24 First name Master, last name Mercy.
09:27 That was his real name or nick name?
09:28 Real name.
09:29 Government name, Master last name Mercy.
09:34 Seventh grade I remember like it was yesterday,
09:35 we were in recess, Phillie Blunts was just out...
09:39 Okay, okay.
09:40 And it was like, we gonna get high.
09:42 Recess now, even though I know something is wrong, recess.
09:44 Yeah, you smoking in recess.
09:45 In recess, brother, you know.
09:47 And so we went to the corner of the field
09:48 and he began to roll up the Phillie Blunt
09:51 and he messed it up,
09:52 I mean it was just tear holes into it, broken up,
09:56 and so being determined person that I am,
09:58 I said that can't stop us, we gonna get high at that.
10:01 Wow. Run to bathroom.
10:03 I remember, even the teaches said,
10:04 "Why you comes to the bathroom?
10:06 You know, it's recess."
10:07 I said, "I got to use the bathroom."
10:09 And you know, we only got a brown paper towel.
10:10 You know, it look like the Phillie Blunt.
10:12 Yeah, yeah.
10:13 And we roll that thing. It was about this long.
10:18 And I remember like it was yesterday.
10:20 The first hit I took I almost died.
10:23 I felt like my lungs came out my mouth,
10:25 I was just coughing up, and my boy was like,
10:27 "Man, this is a good stuff."
10:29 Little did I know I was smoking all those fumes out of there.
10:32 Out of paper towel.
10:34 And I had a bad experience, but I made in my heart
10:38 that I'll have a good experience with the weed.
10:41 And so after that, that first time
10:44 may be twice a week in recess we'll smoke.
10:49 Began to smoke so much,
10:51 you couldn't tell that I was high.
10:52 Yeah, okay. I was active smoker.
10:56 That was seventh grade, eight grade, ninth grade,
10:58 tenth grade, active smoker.
11:00 I was so good with it, I always had cologne.
11:05 I used to brush my lips.
11:07 You know why I brush my lips?
11:08 Because, I'm a fair skin brother
11:10 and you know, black lips,
11:11 that tells you that you've been smoking.
11:13 So I would brush my lips.
11:14 I always kept Visine. Just about to say that.
11:16 And so I was moving in ways
11:19 that I could be an active smoker
11:20 and still keep up with my life.
11:22 I play basketball, I was into sports.
11:24 Some of my "best games" I was high.
11:28 I scored 32 points in one game
11:32 and I was so high in that game.
11:34 I mean, I was doing stuff I never thought of it.
11:36 All my friends like, "Man, you doing so good."
11:39 But they don't know I was smoking,
11:41 because all my friends known I was in church.
11:43 And so they protect me from some of the things
11:46 that they were doing, so I had to smoke by myself.
11:48 So I create a habit,
11:49 after smoking with Master Mercy,
11:51 I created a habit that I only smoke with myself
11:53 because I didn't want people to really know.
11:55 So I wanted, I wanted the feeling of it,
11:57 I wanted the craving of it, I wanted to be down
12:01 but I didn't want nobody to know.
12:02 Yeah, Okay. Okay.
12:04 And so I...
12:05 you remember the game, on the river, on the bank?
12:06 Yeah, yeah, definitely.
12:08 I was on the river, I was on the bank.
12:10 That's the way I lived.
12:12 And so that was my first start in narcotics
12:16 and drugs and marijuana.
12:18 Now, you eventually got involved in selling narcotics.
12:21 That's correct.
12:22 What led you to get involve in selling
12:24 as well as what were you selling?
12:26 Master Mercy. Okay.
12:29 Best friend. Choose your friends wisely.
12:31 Amen. Amen.
12:33 Master mercy came to school in ninth grade
12:36 with a wad this thick.
12:37 Okay. Of money?
12:39 Of money. Okay.
12:40 The first time in my life I seen $100 bills.
12:43 My dad never showed me $100 bills.
12:44 I've never seen a $100 bill in real life.
12:48 And so I was just captivated, I was just like, dude,
12:52 "What are you doing?"
12:53 And he began to tell me how he would sell drugs.
12:57 And during that time in the early '90s
13:01 it was all right to be on blocks.
13:03 We used to stand up on a blocks and you be there all night.
13:05 And you sell dope, you sell weed, you sell crack,
13:08 whatever you sell all night.
13:09 I mean, cops knew what you were doing,
13:10 that was your block, you protected your block.
13:12 Your got certain drugs on your block.
13:14 And he began to tell me those things and I was just like,
13:16 "Man, I want to do it,
13:18 but my mom's not going to allow me to stay out
13:21 past the lights."
13:22 You know, when the lights come on, I go tot go inside.
13:24 Yeah, definitely.
13:25 And so I always had that in my mind
13:27 that I wanted to sell weed.
13:29 Twenty one, moved out the house,
13:33 experience some things in my life.
13:34 Friend came into my life,
13:36 it was like, man, you know, you're a good guy,
13:39 man, you should sell weed.
13:41 That was interesting, all the bad things that I did,
13:42 they came to me say, "Because, you're a good guy.
13:44 you should do this."
13:46 Kind of go figure and... Wow.
13:47 So I started to sell weed, I sold weed for about a week.
13:50 And you know what happened,
13:52 when you smoke more than you sell...
13:54 You going to make nothing.
13:56 Not going to make nothing.
13:57 But enemies and beat.
13:59 Luckily it was my cousin who was providing,
14:00 he kind of understood,
14:01 well he said, this is not for you.
14:04 So I dealt with that for a week.
14:05 Like I said, I smoked up most of my,
14:07 I think I have five bags, smoked four of them so...
14:10 You didn't make anything from it.
14:11 Didn't make no money at all.
14:13 And so that was in my early 20s and then about 24,
14:18 I met up with another gentleman.
14:20 I'll leave his name out.
14:23 And he knew I was in church.
14:26 Matter of fact, we will party on Friday nights
14:28 and he would say,
14:30 "You got to be home back 2:00 because you gonna...
14:32 you have to be at church on Sabbath."
14:34 They always knew what I was doing,
14:35 I told you, I was in the river, on the bank at the same time.
14:39 All the my friends knew,
14:40 everybody knew that was what I...
14:42 who I was.
14:43 And so, he came to me one day and he was just like,
14:46 "You know, you got suits, right, when you go to church?"
14:49 I said, "Yeah."
14:51 "I need you to do me a favor."
14:52 I said, "What's... what do you need?"
14:54 He said, "Well, you know, I'm moving cooperate now."
14:59 "What do you mean, moving corporate?"
15:01 He said, "You know, I sell coat to the lawyers
15:04 and to the bankers now."
15:06 You know, he said, "I sell to them
15:07 because they have more to lose than I do.
15:10 So get careful in what they do."
15:11 Oh, yeah.
15:13 And so, Aaron, light bulb went off my head
15:14 that I can be now a real thug with a suit,
15:19 because that was in my lifestyle.
15:21 Wasn't going to be...
15:22 I didn't want to carry no guns, I didn't want to...
15:24 I was too scary for that stuff.
15:25 But I can walk up in a Bank of America with this suit on.
15:29 Briefcase, switch out,
15:31 act like I'm doing an account and move out.
15:33 I got so good that security guards would know me
15:36 and just buzz me up.
15:38 I began move a lot of weight like that
15:41 until one day, my friend...
15:44 it was too much just for me to move it.
15:46 He said that he was going to do run for me.
15:50 And he's dead
15:55 and my boy that was with him is paralyzed.
15:58 And so when I look back at it, Aaron, I really see how God...
16:03 Intervened in that. Intervened in that.
16:05 I wanted to go.
16:07 Matter of fact, I was mad because that was going to...
16:10 I would made like $6,000 just on, just moving it.
16:14 I dint touch nothing, I didn't cut nothing,
16:16 just handing it to one person, that was going to be six,
16:19 but that was too much for me, you know.
16:21 So, matter of fact, I remember briefing with the guy,
16:23 I was like, "Man, you don't trust me?
16:25 What you trying to say?" you know.
16:26 I've been doing all this work for you,
16:28 now on the bigger one you wanna...
16:29 you know, so things went wrong and lost one friend
16:34 and the other one is paralyzed.
16:36 And when I look at that I just...
16:39 I'm sad, but I'm so happy
16:42 because if it weren't for His grace, His mercy.
16:46 And it chokes me up because we're all friends, man.
16:50 You know, these are good guy just got caught up.
16:53 You know, one, the friend that's paralyzed,
16:56 he had a mentally ill brother that he took care of.
16:59 I paid his mom's bills.
17:01 It wasn't just to flash, it wasn't for the bling,
17:04 it was almost selling for a cause.
17:06 And so in my mind it wasn't, you know, these are good guy,
17:10 you know, that just caught up in that fast money.
17:12 And so one again, like I said, my heart goes up, my heart sad,
17:15 but I'm so happy that God's grace and mercy kept me.
17:21 How much of the impact do you think that music,
17:25 hip-hop music had upon your life?
17:26 Because, you know, for many of us
17:29 that's' where a lot of it starts.
17:30 You know, listening to the music,
17:31 as you stated it a second ago,
17:33 you saw your friend with that wad of money.
17:34 And it's like, you know,
17:35 we know that God enters into the heart
17:37 while Satan, he just breaks down to five senses.
17:40 And it seems like everything we see,
17:42 everything we do has either
17:44 negative or positive effect upon us.
17:46 So how much of an impact do you think
17:47 hip-hop music played your like.
17:50 Aaron, I must be honest with you, once again,
17:51 I'm probably little different than most
17:54 typical African-American males.
17:56 My fellow brothers would, they would get a...
17:58 they would pick on me.
18:00 I like the R and B, I dint like crap.
18:03 I'd like the soft rock.
18:04 Okay. Okay.
18:06 You know.
18:07 I see you smiling, don't judge me.
18:09 Okay, that's all right.
18:10 But these are the things that I like.
18:12 But that type of music made me want to be a lover man.
18:16 Made me want to have a lot women.
18:19 I was listening to R. Kelly, my mind's telling me,
18:22 you know, my body is telling me yes.
18:24 You know, I was listening to H-Town's
18:26 "Somebody Knocking The Boots.".
18:27 I know.
18:29 I was listening to Jodeci.
18:30 You know, and I was engulfed in R and B, man,
18:33 I wanted to be the lover man.
18:35 At that time
18:38 fair skins brothers where in style,
18:42 you know.
18:43 So I was getting all types of attention
18:45 with that from that female
18:46 as well as I move smooth
18:49 because I'm not rough around the edges, I wasn't gangster.
18:52 Now I listen to some rap Nas, and Biggie and Tupac.
18:56 But for me, it was R and B.
18:58 And for me, it was, I wanted to be the smooth operator.
19:03 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay.
19:05 Looking back over your life,
19:07 how have seen the hand of God in your life,
19:09 just protecting different things,
19:11 where one thing could happen,
19:12 like, you mentioned that stories a second ago,
19:13 with your friends.
19:15 And just a various time,
19:16 you know, it's interesting how when we change our life,
19:18 we can look back and say,
19:19 wow, I see the hand of God in that,
19:21 and just see how he protects were that could have been me.
19:24 So looking back, what are some instants
19:26 that you seeing like that?
19:27 One particular that just was the...
19:31 "the straw that broke the camel's back.".
19:35 In 2003, I was driving from TGI Friday,
19:38 I remember that because yesterday I was in Charlotte,
19:39 North Carolina.
19:40 Made a right on to the street called Independence Boulevard.
19:43 Me and my boy was their, coming from the restaurant,
19:47 100 yards down the roads
19:48 we seen a bunch of smoking break lights.
19:50 I remember this like it was yesterday.
19:51 As we drove closer, we realized that we are first
19:54 on this car accident, the scene.
19:56 Hoped out the car, I told my boy, "Call 911."
19:59 Aaron, I remember that like it was just that I began to walk
20:02 toward the van that was smashed up.
20:05 As I got closer to the van,
20:07 there was two young ladies crying, rolling their eyes out.
20:09 And so I began to act smart,
20:10 "You okay? Is everything all right?"
20:12 And they point out to my right.
20:14 I remember this like it was yesterday, Aaron,
20:15 and look to my right,
20:17 and this accident was a head-to-head collusion.
20:20 And because of the forces of impact,
20:23 the front of this car was now pushed to the back.
20:26 I began to walk toward this car,
20:28 not knowing that these next moments will change my life.
20:31 And I seen, Aaron, a arm hanging out back window.
20:35 As I got closer,
20:36 not knowing that these moments will change my life, Aaron.
20:40 I looked in and I saw the young ladies
20:42 who was the driver and because of the forces of the impact,
20:46 her seat was snapped in half, her seatbelt was shredded.
20:49 I remember like it was yesterday.
20:51 She was the driver but because of the forces of the impact
20:54 she was in the back seat,
20:56 hand smashed through the window.
20:59 I remember like it was yesterday,
21:00 I seen her coughing up blood, Aaron,
21:01 and I began to act as if she was all right.
21:03 I've never seen blood,
21:04 I don't like that type of stuff,
21:06 to be honest with you.
21:07 So I did, the first thing I've seen on television,
21:09 I began to tell her to squeeze my fingers.
21:12 I said, "Hold on, help is on the way."
21:14 I began to ask her name
21:15 and as she would try to talk to me,
21:17 she will caught up more blood.
21:18 So I said, "Baby, go just chill,
21:21 you know, help is on the way.".
21:23 Aaron, I remember, her grip getting loose
21:26 and looser on my hands.
21:29 And I did what I should have done in the beginning.
21:34 I laid down cross on the ground,
21:35 I began to cry out to God, "Just save her."
21:40 I remember this like it was yesterday,
21:41 someone tapping on my shoulder, it's the paramedics.
21:44 He said, "Son, we have it from here."
21:47 And so I get up, I leave.
21:48 That next day I'm driving, I ran into one of my boys,
21:51 he's driving the other way, and I called him on my phone,
21:53 I said, " Darius Dfunk."
21:54 I said, "Where are you going?"
21:56 He said, "You wont believe it,
21:57 my best friend's sister got killed last night."
21:59 Oh, wow.
22:00 I said, "Oh, I am sorry to hear that."
22:01 I said, "How?"
22:03 he said, "It was head-to-head collusion."
22:04 I said, "Wait."
22:06 I said, "Was that at Independence Boulevard?"
22:07 He said, "Yes." I said, "No, no, no, wait."
22:09 I said, "Was it by TGI Friday?"
22:11 He said, "Yes."
22:12 I said, "Derek, I was their.".
22:15 "I was their till the paramedics came,
22:16 I prayed for her."
22:18 Her brother was in the car with him,
22:19 he hands the brother the phone,
22:21 I began to tell the brother the story.
22:22 The brother says, "They pronounced her dead
22:24 before she makes it to the hospital."
22:26 She leaves two twin boys, she's 18 years old.
22:30 She works third shift because she's at school during the day
22:33 and she has two twin boys, not even one years old.
22:36 Aaron, I remember like it was yesterday.
22:38 "Got off the phone, I pulled into a McDonald's parking lot
22:41 and I began to curse God.
22:43 I began to yell at Him as if He was stranger on the street.
22:47 "Why would You let me see that God?
22:49 I prayed for You to save this young lady.
22:51 Why would you do that?"
22:53 And, Aaron, just as clear as you hear my voice,
22:57 for the first time I heard God speak to me to me.
23:00 And He said, "DaMarrus, tomorrow is not promised,
23:04 give your life today."
23:08 And I remember chills going through my body
23:13 but also peace that came through it.
23:16 And I remember saying, I have to make a change today.
23:20 Interesting, two weeks later,
23:22 my father who's all into church,
23:24 now volunteers me to preach for Youth Day.
23:27 I am like, man, I am still rough around the edges,
23:30 I am still clubbing.
23:33 Of course, when your father volunteers you,
23:34 there's ain't no, it's like you got to do it.
23:37 Preach the sermon, man, 22 kids came down for Christ.
23:41 I said, God, you used a sinner like me?
23:44 I'm messed up, I smoke, I drink,
23:47 I was fornicating at the time.
23:49 Lord, you gonna use someone like me?
23:51 And He began to say, you know, I don't call to qualified,
23:56 but I qualified to call.
23:58 Amen. Amen.
23:59 Yeah, it's been...
24:01 Now talk about where you're at now.
24:03 You're starting your own ministry,
24:04 and if you could shed some light upon that
24:06 and how that helps young man, young people everywhere.
24:09 Aaron, I'll be honest with you,
24:10 I am so glad you asked that question.
24:12 I don't know about you, but I am tired of failing.
24:15 I'm tired as a husband, I am tired of making mistakes
24:20 that are just terrible for my family
24:25 I am tired of falling to the same things.
24:28 And what I realized as men,
24:30 we don't talk about some of the same issues.
24:32 I guarantee, some of my issues
24:33 that I keep it myself you're going through.
24:35 And want I wanted to start was a ministry from men,
24:39 the ministry is called Mending Men Ministries,
24:42 where we're going to deal with, man,
24:43 what you do when it's you fault?
24:45 When you do when it's your...
24:46 when it was your fault, when you made the mistake,
24:48 how do you forgive yourself?
24:51 I am learning that God will expose us for eternity.
24:55 He's not exposing us to save your marriage,
24:58 He's not exposing you to save your ministry,
25:01 He's exposing you to save your life.
25:03 And so I've started a new ministry
25:06 called Mending Men's Ministry
25:07 where we're dealing with finances, we're dealing...
25:10 one of the topic is,
25:13 some of the things that they never told us.
25:15 I have a father in my life. Okay.
25:17 He did the best he could,
25:18 but there are some things he didn't tell me.
25:20 Yeah, yeah, definitely.
25:21 And so we're gonna deal with those things,
25:23 it's a one-on-one healing men ministry, mending Men Ministry.
25:27 Now looking back on your life and where you are now
25:29 with a relationship with Jesus, how important is it you
25:33 or how, what's the difference feeling that you have
25:35 between now versus the life when you were drinking,
25:38 and smoking, and clubbing?
25:39 Pain is still there, hurt is still there.
25:43 Disappointment still there, I just fell better about it.
25:47 I know it sounds funny
25:48 but I don't walk with my head down like that anymore.
25:52 I made a mistake, I pray for forgiveness,
25:54 I acknowledge it and I keep it moving.
25:57 In the streets, during that time,
25:58 I never forgave myself.
26:00 I didn't know that God will forgive me.
26:02 I knew but I didn't believe it.
26:04 And so I walked around with guilt on my back,
26:05 I walked around with stress on my back,
26:07 so I had a bad attitude.
26:08 I was snappy at people.
26:11 And so for me, I won't say,
26:13 as a Christian, life gets better.
26:16 For me, when I accepts the Jesus and I start to go,
26:19 totally, with my... still have falls, still fail.
26:23 Ask my wife, she will say, I probably got issues,
26:25 big issues.
26:28 But now,
26:29 I just have a different peace about my issues.
26:30 Yeah. Amen.
26:32 You know, have a different peace of mind.
26:34 I was reading Psalms 51 where David says,
26:36 I was shaped in an equity, that's the reality.
26:39 We're born in this thing. Defiantly.
26:41 And not until Christ purges us,
26:44 you know, and we testify to others
26:46 about we've been through.
26:47 Amen. Amen.
26:48 Is until we can have that feeling.
26:50 I want you to take a few moments
26:51 to look into the camera,
26:52 I what you to talk to that young person
26:54 that is dealing with the same issues
26:55 that you dealt with while you were young,
26:56 and I want you to speak to that person
26:58 about how they should choose Jesus.
27:02 John 10:10 says, "The thief comes in order to steal,
27:06 kill, and destroy,
27:08 but I've come that they may have life
27:10 and have it more abundantly."
27:12 Young people, young men and women,
27:15 I must be honest with you,
27:16 Satan hates you.
27:18 Satan's strategic plan is to steal, kill, and destroy,
27:23 that's it, that's his total agenda.
27:26 But I'm here to let you know that we have a God,
27:29 we have savior, we have a Christ,
27:31 we have a friend that wants to give you life more abundantly.
27:36 Choose today
27:38 for the rest of your life to follow Christ.
27:41 That doesn't mean you'll be perfect,
27:43 that doesn't mean you wont make mistakes,
27:45 that just means that we have a savior who died for us.
27:48 Amen. Amen.
27:49 I want to thank you, DaMarrus, for being on the program.
27:52 You've been watching The New Journey,
27:53 be sure to tune in next time for an exciting program
27:55 of The New Journey.