Participants: Yvonne Lewis (Host), Casalnnie Henry
Series Code: UBR
Program Code: UBR000021
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00:01 In one small word... there's something that's
00:03 responsible for destroying relationships 00:06 choking off success and preventing 00:08 any number of positive changes, stay tuned to find out 00:11 what that word is... and how it affects you... 00:14 My name is Yvonne Lewis, and you're watching 00:16 Urban Report... 00:38 Hello and welcome to Urban Report... 00:41 Today our guest is Dr. Casalnnie Henry, 00:44 Author, Counselor, Pastor and Lecturer... 00:46 Welcome Dr. Henry... 00:48 It's good to be here, thanks for having me... 00:52 Oh... you are so welcome... 00:53 thank you for taking the time out to talk to us today... 00:56 you have really focused on 01:01 this idea of fear... the concept of fear... 01:06 you've written two books about it... 01:08 "Neutralizing the Power of Fear" and "Avoiding the Fear Trap" 01:11 why did you 01:13 decide to talk about fear... 01:15 because that is the word that can just destroy 01:18 so many things why did you focus on fear? 01:20 Well, the focus on fear was born out of an experience 01:27 that I had... initially, when I was about 01:31 thirteen... and then it developed 01:36 so that I had that experience again, 01:39 maybe two or three times 01:42 and out of that... I discovered 01:46 that I had to do certain things in order to address that... 01:50 the issue of fear in my life... 01:52 Tell us what that experience was if you would... 01:55 Well, when I was about 13... 01:59 at the school I attended, 02:02 we had a Fair... and all the 02:06 kids went to the Fair 02:09 and of course, I went, 02:11 and they had a Ferris Wheel... 02:13 and everyone was getting on the Ferris Wheel... 02:16 and riding... they seemed to be happy... 02:19 and I had never been on a Ferris Wheel before... 02:21 and so, I thought that I would get on the Ferris Wheel... 02:25 I got on there... and, of course, you know, 02:28 it turns slowly... until everyone was on board... 02:34 and then... it began... but I was so relaxed 02:38 that I didn't realize that it was time for it to begin... 02:40 and when it started... I just felt that 02:43 I left my stomach up in the air... 02:48 and since that time... I decided, 02:52 "Well, no, that wasn't for me" then I also traveled 02:56 to the Bahamas... and in flight... 02:59 I had a lot of experiences with the air pocket and all that... 03:05 and that same experience came back 03:08 and so the fear of flying... began to take root... 03:13 and then... it just developed more and more 03:21 until I came to the United States 03:24 and, of course, I didn't want to fly... after that... and 03:32 and I think the first time I flew back to Jamaica... 03:36 after 29 years... it was after 29 years... 03:41 and while I was on the plane, the plane just delayed 03:48 for a while... before taking off... 03:51 and that sensation came back to me... 03:55 and to compound it, I was in a confined area... 04:00 Ah... so, you're talking about 04:03 claustrophobia also... Yes... 04:05 and so, I had a problem there... and I had to reach down 04:13 in order to address that fear in me... 04:17 and it's out of that... that I decided, 04:21 that it was a topic for me to write on... 04:24 Wow! that's so interesting, and you know... 04:27 you also, and I'd like for you to share this... 04:30 with our viewers as well, you had an episode as a teenager 04:35 swimming... would you share that with us as well? 04:38 Yes... we went to the... my Class went on a Field Trip 04:45 and it was a place... I think the name was, 04:50 "Black River" nevertheless, at that river, 04:53 we all really had fun and everyone was just diving in 04:59 into the water... and swimming across and 05:02 and I thought... 05:03 "Well, that looks easy, it was good... " 05:07 so, I dove in... and swam across to the other side... 05:11 even though... it was rumored 05:14 that alligators were in that area 05:18 but we were fearless in that regard... 05:22 and so we just kept swimming back and forth... 05:25 but when I decided to come back across to the other side... 05:30 I dove in... and I came up in a vertical position 05:37 if I had come up in a horizontal position, 05:41 I could have swum out... but, I came out in a 05:45 vertical position, and with the undercurrent... 05:48 that was kind of strong... I was unable to 05:53 just straighten out myself and to begin swimming... 05:56 and I was there struggling... and I was struggling... 05:59 but the thought that I should call for help, 06:05 came to my mind... but if I called for help, 06:10 I thought, the guys would think, 06:12 "Oh, he's just a coward... " 06:15 and you know... as a teenager 06:18 you don't want anyone to think that you're not a strong, 06:23 manly young man... so I decided to struggle... 06:29 the fear of them ostracizing me or criticizing me 06:34 seemed to have trumped the fear of drowning... 06:39 Yes... So, I was there... 06:41 I was there just struggling... 06:45 until one of the boys there 06:49 either saw me struggling or just wandered out there... 06:54 but he came out there and just pushed me 06:56 and I was able to swim to shore, and that was an experience 07:03 because I would have drowned, by feeling that it was better 07:10 not to call out for help and to drown 07:13 you know, just struggling on my own 07:17 and that's what fear can do 07:18 to some of us... it can paralyze you... 07:22 it makes you feel as if 07:24 "Wow, there is no way out of this situation" 07:29 and sometimes you decide 07:31 that you would just do the 07:34 wrong thing... just because 07:36 you're fearful of the consequence 07:39 of doing the right thing... 07:40 Yes, you know what... you brought out so many points 07:43 oh, I could just like... dissect this... 07:46 first of all... the first thing is that 07:49 this whole project was born out of various... 07:54 kinds of events in your life... 07:57 that actually helped you to focus on that 08:00 which would help so many people, I mean, so many people 08:03 are paralyzed by fear, so the fact that 08:06 you took something bad that had happened to you... 08:10 a few things that had happened and actually sublimated them 08:13 into something... really positive 08:16 that can really help others... that's wonderful... 08:18 secondly, I was thinking about the fact that fear... 08:24 one fear can trump another one. Yes... 08:27 you mentioned that in the book, and I thought that 08:30 that was such a profound thought because, as you mentioned, 08:34 you give another illustration also in the book that 08:36 in avoiding the fear trap, that, you know, 08:39 a person will jump out of a building... 08:42 from the 20th Floor... that's on fire... 08:44 knowing that they are going to die... 08:47 as they jump... but taking a risk 08:49 because that fear of getting burned to death 08:52 actually trumps the fear of falling... 08:55 That's right... and if I may go back to the fear of flying, 08:59 Yes... there are so many people 09:02 who have that fear... the fear of flying... 09:06 they don't want to fly... let me mention this 09:10 my mother... my mother passed away 09:15 while I was in the United States she was in Jamaica, 09:17 and because 09:20 I had the fear of flying, 09:22 and there was no way to get to her, 09:26 to get to her funeral, 09:27 I did not go to my mother's funeral, 09:31 Hmmm... because I had the fear of flying 09:34 and I thought that by writing this book... 09:38 it would address some of those issues 09:40 that people who have that fear can find some comfort 09:45 in the fact that they can overcome that fear, 09:48 that they can find release, because now... 09:52 I'll fly anywhere... 09:54 Oh, that's wonderful... so you don't even have the same 09:58 visceral effects from flying that you used to... 10:01 like heart pounding and that kind of... 10:03 you don't get that anymore? 10:05 No, I don't get that anymore, because I had to 10:09 reach for some principles, Biblical principles, 10:14 Oh, come on now, Doc... come on now, all right all right 10:18 I had to reach for some Biblical principles 10:21 while I was in that plane, confined, tense, heart pounding, 10:26 palpitation, I'm there sweating and everything... 10:31 I had to reach down... and I started to think of Psalm 91 10:36 Oh, come on now, come on, tell us, tell us... 10:39 "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High... " 10:42 Yes... yes... come on... 10:43 "shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty... " 10:46 Yes... and I learned that Psalm... 10:50 when I was a child... and I was able to say the Psalm 10:54 right through... and then I thought of Psalm 23... 10:58 "The Lord is my shepherd," Yes... 11:02 He's a guide... He's a comfort, Psalm 34 and verse 4... 11:08 David said that... 11:12 "I sought the Lord, and he delivered me, from all my fears" 11:18 Come on now... so you're telling us now... 11:21 that we can use the Bible to get over fear? 11:24 Is that what you're telling us? Yes, yes... 11:26 Oh yes... that was what I did. 11:28 Give us some more, give us some more, 11:29 that's good stuff... give us some more... 11:31 Yes... so all these... 11:34 during this time 11:36 that I had been suffering from fear... 11:38 I really never thought of a way to address those fears, 11:45 Hmmm... and that is the situation 11:47 with many people... they are going through, 11:51 their experiences... they are having difficulty 11:54 dealing with their fears... but they don't know 11:58 what to do... and so... it was when I was in that plane, 12:03 confined... if the plane had taken off, 12:07 immediately as I got in, 12:09 I would not have been able to address the fear, 12:11 because I would be thinking of just... 12:14 how am I going to deal with the experience 12:18 while I was in the air, but because I was on the ground 12:23 in the plane, waiting, I had time to think... 12:28 Yes... I could think and I was able to 12:32 just reach out to God in that way 12:37 by accessing the Biblical principles... 12:40 that I had learned when I was young... 12:44 Oh... so no wonder the Scripture says, 12:48 "Remember now thy Creator, in the days of thy youth... " 12:52 Yes... yes... so... look at God, look at how 12:56 He took you... you were in the grips of a fearful experience 13:03 and He sent the Holy Spirit to you... 13:07 with these principles, so that... 13:10 this is... this is interesting too, 13:14 because there is an emotion attached to the principle 13:18 so now, that principle is going to be 13:21 you're going to actually hook on to that principle, 13:27 and it becomes a part of you... 13:29 And that's what happened because... really... 13:34 a short definition of fear... 13:36 is that... "Fear is a negative thought process that generates 13:44 abnormal or unusual emotional responses... 13:49 so that you want to be away from that place... 13:55 or that situation... that you are experiencing... " 14:00 so, it causes this abnormal reaction... you know... 14:06 sweaty palms... palpitation of the heart... 14:09 dry mouth... sometimes incoherency 14:15 Hmmm... you are not able to think 14:18 properly... I remember going to Disney World 14:23 my family and I went to Disney World 14:25 and we were going on a ride, 14:29 I don't remember the right name of the ride but 14:32 we were going on this ride and it would go through a tunnel 14:35 and then, it would appear as if 14:41 you are in Outer Space 14:42 while you're in there... and because it looked so dark 14:46 and I was going to be going out... in that area... 14:50 I didn't know how I would feel and so 14:52 I actually left my family there and went back 14:56 but afterwards, I just thought about it... 15:00 "Well, they need me" and so I went back and decided 15:05 to just endure the situation, but I was very fearful... 15:09 I use that illustration to say that there are people 15:12 who are in similar situations... they want to make progress, 15:19 they want to get ahead, 15:20 they want to be successful in business... 15:23 but fear is stymying their progress 15:26 Hmmm... so we're not just talking about 15:29 the fear of heights or the fear of flying 15:32 we're also talking about the fear of success, 15:35 Yes... the fear of... perhaps... 15:38 of losing a loved one, the fear, when you hear of a 15:42 negative diagnosis from your doctor... 15:45 the fear that is elicited then... 15:47 so, tell us then... what is the... number one... 15:52 what is the modality or the theory that you use 15:57 I think it's SET... 15:59 is that what you use? Yes... yes... 16:00 what is that... what does it stand for and what is it? 16:03 S E T is Spiritual Euphoric Therapy 16:07 Okay... Spiritual Euphoric Therapy 16:12 is a new therapeutic approach 16:17 to psychological and physical, mental healing... 16:24 it's based on the "Merry heart" 16:28 principle of Proverbs 17 and verse 22 16:31 that says, "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine... " 16:36 Yes... Yes, and so when you address 16:41 the fears... first you have to be able to determine 16:45 what fears you have... 16:47 because sometimes people will say to you, 16:49 "Well, I don't want to do such and such a thing" 16:52 it's not that they just don't want to do it, 16:55 it is because there is a fear behind that hesitation 17:00 that would not let us to move ahead... 17:03 and so you have to determine what fears are hampering 17:08 this individual... and then... 17:11 because of tool testing or interview 17:15 you are able to ascertain that information... 17:20 and then you do an evaluation, you'll take a look at 17:24 what is bothering this person, and why... this person is 17:29 experiencing what they are experiencing... 17:31 and then, of course, you will go into 17:34 developing an approach 17:37 to solving the problem, if the person accepts 17:41 the approach... then of course, you can move ahead 17:44 and include it in this 17:47 approach... you will have a SET Principles 17:51 which... there are 9 principles involved... 17:55 the 8 Laws of Health, of course, Oh good, good... 17:59 and then... the one to make nine is the "Selflessness" 18:08 "Selfless Giving" Come on now... 18:11 So, the 8 Laws, of course, for which the acronym is NEW START 18:16 Right... Nutrition, Exercise, Water, 18:22 Sunlight, Temperance, Air, Rest and Trust in Divine Power, 18:30 and then of course the Selfless Giving... 18:35 it's amazing what happens when you activate 18:41 especially that last point, Trust in Divine Power 18:45 and the Selfless Giving, it's amazing what happens 18:49 of course, the other portions of it... 18:53 are to be able to help you to be healthy... 18:57 and we can go into each of those... 18:59 there's a lot involved in each of those... 19:02 things... Nutrition... 19:04 that without proper nutrition 19:06 you are unable to think well... That's right... 19:09 you are chemically out of balance... 19:11 Yes, because even B12 19:13 the B vitamins... it is proven that 19:18 B vitamins... even with pregnant women 19:22 if they lack the B vitamins, they can have different issues 19:28 with the birth... Yes... like Folic acid 19:31 is important for pregnant women because Spina Bifida 19:34 can be an issue without Folic Acid... 19:37 Depression... because you don't have... 19:40 because it eats up the B vitamins 19:42 That's right... Stress... depletes the body 19:45 of your B vitamins... so, you're absolutely right... 19:49 So, all right... so... I come to you... I am afraid to 19:53 okay, I'm going to come up with a hypothetical situation, 19:57 everybody knows I'm single, so I'm going to pretend 19:59 I'm married right now, so I come to you... 20:01 and I say, "My husband is leaving me because he just... 20:07 is having a mid-life crisis, and I'm afraid 20:10 that he's going to leave... would you walk me through 20:14 walk me through the steps now, if I come to you for counseling, 20:18 and I say, "I'm just afraid my husband is going to leave me 20:21 because, I think, he's having an affair with his secretary" 20:25 how's that... we'll do that one... 20:27 because that's kind of a common one... unfortunately... 20:29 so let's do that... I'm afraid my husband is going 20:32 to leave me... how would you... walk me through the process... 20:36 of S E T with that... 20:38 Yes, well, the first thing is to determine... 20:43 certain factors within this woman... 20:50 she is experiencing withdrawal by her husband... 20:55 and the question is... 20:57 is it really the wife that is 21:01 causing that... or the husband, because sometimes... 21:04 while it is wrong for the husband to withdraw 21:09 from his wife... and to having fear... 21:12 but... you have to look at the entire picture to see 21:16 where you can make an in-road to bring back the situation 21:22 into wholeness... so, as you explore... 21:27 the woman's 21:29 position in the home... 21:32 how does she relate to the husband... 21:35 do both of them work outside of the home... 21:40 what is their lifestyle like... when you come in... what happens 21:48 does one come in before the other 21:51 and when the other one comes in, how do you greet each other... 21:56 do you have a loving relationship in that regard... 22:02 do you study the Scriptures together... 22:06 do you have devotions? Because... devotions... 22:10 believe it or not... some people don't understand 22:13 that having devotions together can really do a great deal 22:18 for the family... because when you talk to the Lord 22:23 and you talk to each other, and you get down on your knees 22:28 and you pray... when you get up 22:30 I don't know if you've ever seen two teenagers 22:33 who are at odds with each other, and after devotion 22:38 you may say, "Well, hug each other... " 22:41 because that has been the practice in our home... 22:43 hug each other... and they give just kind of 22:47 barely a hug... they keep their hands by their sides 22:51 and I say, "No, I want you to just caress the person... " 22:57 Well, when a husband and a wife kneel down to pray 23:02 and they get up... they are to hug each other 23:08 like a bear hug... and that helps to keep that 23:13 relationship together... it's not a repelling experience 23:18 and that is just one part of it... 23:21 but, of course, the normal duties that a woman would do 23:29 a wife would do... and for the husband 23:32 find out whether their experience... 23:36 their marital experience in the bedroom... 23:40 how is that? Because I have, what is called, 23:44 "Wheel of intimacy" and sometimes a woman is 23:50 a woman is unfulfilled and does not divulge it to 23:55 the husband... for him to understand 23:59 what he needs to do... then he sees her 24:03 kind of not acting the way he thinks that she should act, 24:09 he withdraws... and then... he starts staying out late 24:16 because when he comes home, 24:18 he doesn't know how to handle it... 24:20 and he tries to come home 24:22 while she's asleep, so that he doesn't have to deal 24:26 with it... Hmmm... hmmm... 24:27 there are just many facets 24:31 to this relationship and fear situation... 24:35 because the fear in the wife can cause the husband to react, 24:40 and the fear in the husband 24:42 can cause the wife to withdraw 24:45 or be cold... or indifferent... 24:47 sometimes that relationship can be brought together 24:52 even through the study of the Scriptures... 24:56 That's wonderful... I love the way you continuously 25:00 bring the Lord into the center because that... 25:04 if He is at the center of the relationship... 25:07 it has to be able to repair... because if you're focusing on 25:12 Him and that whole concept of "Selflessness" 25:15 it's a very important concept... in marriage 25:18 and just in everyday life... it's a very important concept. 25:23 One more question before we go, 25:25 with children... 25:27 how can parents and teachers 25:30 detect the whole "fear factor" in children... 25:34 and what can they do? One way to detect that... is... 25:39 the child would sometimes 25:42 just not want to respond to questions that are asked... 25:48 Hmmm... a kind of withdrawal... 25:52 a kind of... not wanting to associate with others 25:57 there is something that is going on there... 25:59 and maybe because that child is fearful 26:03 that he or she will not be accepted... 26:07 and perhaps... all of that came out of 26:11 some relationship at home where the child is told 26:15 certain things... Hmmm... 26:16 "You are not good enough, 26:18 you came home with an "A" 26:21 a "B" and you got a "C" why did you get a "C"? 26:24 You ought to bring up that grade... " 26:26 instead of giving the child 26:28 accolades for doing well in the other two subjects... 26:32 Yes... All those things... 26:34 or maybe just seeing the parents having heated conversations 26:40 at home... the fear of divorce, my parents want to be divorced, 26:46 what am I going to do... Yes... 26:47 but at school it carries over into... 26:50 and so they cannot focus... on their studies at school... 26:54 Right... right... Dr. Henry... I'm sorry, 26:56 I'm sorry... Dr. Henry, I can't believe it 26:59 our time is up... I hate to even interrupt you 27:02 but I don't even know where the time went... 27:04 Thank you so much for being with us today... 27:07 you've been just a wealth of information... 27:10 Thank you... and will you come back? 27:11 I certainly will... thanks for having me too... 27:14 Thank you... we'll bring you back to talk some more 27:17 about this issue... it's very important... 27:19 It will be my pleasure... 27:20 So Viewer, is your fear blocking you from being the best 27:24 that you can be? 27:26 Jesus wants to calm your fears 27:28 he wants to speak to the storms in your life... 27:31 and give you peace... don't be afraid... 27:33 the Savior will bring you through every situation... 27:37 place all of your trust in Him, 27:39 and He'll never let you down, 27:42 He says, "I'll never leave you or forsake you... " 27:46 the Word says... if we cast our cares upon Him... 27:50 because He cares for us... so know that 27:53 perfect love casts out all fear. 27:56 Well, that's the end of our Program for today... 28:00 Thanks for tuning in... 28:02 it just wouldn't be the same... without you... |
Revised 2015-06-30