Urban Report

How Children Succeed

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Yvonne Lewis (Host), Paul Tough


Series Code: UBR

Program Code: UBR000083S

00:01 If you're serious about having a successful child...
00:03 you won't want to miss this Program...
00:05 My name is Yvonne Lewis and you're watching
00:08 Urban Report...
00:31 Hello, and welcome to Urban Report...
00:34 My guest today is Paul Tough author of
00:37 "How Children Succeed" and Speaker...
00:39 Welcome to Urban Report... Paul...
00:42 Thank you... great to be here...
00:44 Yeah... it's so good to have you here...
00:45 I'm so glad that you could take the time out
00:47 to be with us today...
00:49 Yeah, thrilled to be here thanks for inviting me...
00:51 Oh, sure, sure... so, I have to tell our viewers
00:54 that a few months ago, I was in an airport
00:57 and I was just browsing through the book section
01:01 and I came across this book "How Children Succeed"
01:05 and I thought... "Hmmm... that sounds great"
01:07 because I'm always trying to find some things
01:09 to share with our viewers... on tips and strategies
01:12 to help our kids in the inner cities...
01:14 to be more successful... so, I looked at this book
01:17 and I thought, "Wow, this looks great... "
01:20 and I took it home well, I bought it, of course,
01:23 this is a Christian Network... we don't want people
01:27 to think that I just took it home...
01:28 I bought it... and, Paul, this book is so
01:33 powerful... the tips and strategies that you have
01:37 and the Science and the information
01:39 and it's not boring... you know, it's not so heavy
01:42 that a person can't read it and digest what's in it...
01:45 I want to thank you for writing this book
01:48 and all that you've done to help children in the inner city,
01:53 so, let's talk a little bit first
01:56 about your background
01:57 tell us a little bit about you and where you come from...
02:00 Sure, I'm a journalist, I grew up in Canada...
02:03 but have lived in the United States for a long time
02:07 since College and I have mostly been an Editor
02:10 with magazines and about 10 years ago
02:12 I started writing... first off, I started writing
02:15 magazine articles... then I wrote an article
02:17 about a man named Geoffrey Canada
02:18 who's the Head of Harlem Children Zone...
02:20 and the book that I wrote about him...
02:23 "Whatever it Takes" came out in 2008
02:25 and then after that book was done
02:28 I started working on this one on "How Children Succeed"
02:31 so these are the two books that I've written... so far...
02:33 And why are you interested in the inner city children?
02:36 Well, I think that I lived for a long time in New York City
02:42 and I think, you can't live anywhere in New York City
02:45 without understanding that the inequities and the gaps
02:48 in our big cities right now are really significant problems
02:51 and they are significant problems
02:53 I think, no matter where you live...
02:55 but I didn't really get tuned in to the importance of
02:59 these questions until I started writing about Geoffrey Canada
03:02 and the Harlem Children's Zone which he runs
03:05 is... as I'm guessing a lot of your viewers will know,
03:08 is this 97th Block neighborhood in Central Harlem...
03:10 what Geoff and his team are doing
03:14 is trying to help children succeed in that neighborhood
03:18 in all sorts of ways... so they run schools
03:20 but they're also combining those educational supports
03:23 with social supports and psychological supports
03:25 and emotional supports... and working with him...
03:28 writing about him... really made me think about
03:31 the questions of what it takes to help every child
03:34 in the United States succeed, and I really don't think
03:37 there's any more important question
03:39 when you think about... the sort of questions of
03:43 social justice in our society
03:44 and also the economic health of the United States
03:46 if we want to succeed in the long term...
03:48 these are questions we really need to solve...
03:51 Absolutely... you know, I was in
03:53 New York not too long ago and I stopped by the
03:57 Harlem Children's Zone because I'd heard so much about
03:59 it and I wanted to kind of see first hand
04:02 what it was all about... I love the idea...
04:05 as you mentioned... it's just not an academic
04:08 environment... it's also...
04:10 it's a holistic kind of environment
04:12 where there's a lot of parental involvement
04:14 in fact, your child can't go there
04:16 from what I understand
04:18 unless the parent is going to be involved as well...
04:21 it that correct? They don't have that kind
04:24 of restriction because they certainly want parental
04:26 involvement... but they also want to serve
04:28 children whose parents
04:30 might not be willing to be involved...
04:32 they feel like... those kids need more help
04:35 not less help... in a lot of circumstances...
04:38 Ah... so they do allow the children of parents
04:41 who are not that involved or don't want to be involved
04:43 or whatever... to attend the School...
04:45 They do... but they do also have a lot of Programs
04:49 to try to engage and involve parents
04:52 and I think... one of the most ones
04:54 is something they call "Baby College"
04:56 which is this 9- week Program
04:58 for new parents... expecting parents...
05:01 parents of children up to age 5, that, over the course of
05:06 several weeks tries to... give them the sort of
05:08 information and support that I think... every parent
05:11 is really looking for... in terms of
05:12 how to deal with issues of disciplining them
05:15 brain development... safety in the home...
05:17 and that Program... especially...
05:19 since it starts sometimes with parents of infants
05:22 it really engages parents for the long haul...
05:24 so that... by the time their kids get to school...
05:26 they're tightly woven in with the Harlem Children's Zone
05:30 that is so... incredible... I so would love to see
05:34 more schools like the Harlem Children's Zone
05:37 around the Country... because as you know, I'm sure,
05:41 there's such a misconception about inner-city kids
05:44 "Oh, they can't learn" or "they're slow"
05:46 or whatever... but this School...
05:49 and others like it... really...
05:51 these schools show that these children can learn
05:54 and they can be successful... but they have to have
05:56 the support that's necessary...
05:58 Yeah... I think it's such an important message
06:01 and there are... and it's a good thing
06:02 that there are now a lot of communities
06:04 a lot of schools around the Country
06:05 that are trying to replicate it and emulate
06:07 what the Harlem Children's Zone is doing...
06:09 but I think you're right... it's that message
06:12 that, absolutely, these children can succeed...
06:14 even when they come from very difficult circumstances...
06:16 but they need more help than other children...
06:18 and that help, I think, ideally, should come...
06:21 just not in the classroom but from the whole Community
06:23 it has to go... well beyond the walls of the school...
06:26 Absolutely... absolutely... so, tell us then...
06:30 how did writing that story impact and influence
06:35 your writing... "How Children Succeed"
06:36 It's a great question...
06:38 so it took 5 years to report
06:40 and write that first book... and when I got to the end...
06:43 even after all that reporting... I felt like I still had some
06:46 big questions about... how children succeed...
06:49 about why some children can seem to come
06:51 from similar backgrounds from other children
06:53 and that some will succeed and others will lose their way
06:58 and in the process of doing that first book
07:00 I've connected with a lot of Scientists and Researchers,
07:04 Economists and Neuroscientists and Psychologists
07:07 and as I started talking to them as that book was coming out
07:11 I realized that there was more to the story
07:13 than I was able to get in whatever it takes...
07:15 and a big part of the idea that went into
07:18 "How Children Succeed" is there's a difference
07:21 in different kinds of skills that children develop
07:24 as they grow... Economists divide these skills
07:26 into what they call... cognitive skills and
07:29 non-cognitive skills
07:30 but really it's about the kind of skills
07:32 that got measured on standardized tests...
07:35 your IQ and Reading and Math abilities
07:37 all of which are very important but which, I think,
07:40 we've overly emphasized in some of our educational
07:42 projects as of the couple of decades...
07:46 and on the other side we have non-cognitive skills
07:49 character strengths... things like grit and perseverance
07:53 curiosity, optimism, self-control,
07:56 and then those skills... these researchers were finding
07:59 turned out to be extremely important
08:02 in terms of which children succeed and which ones don't...
08:04 but the way to teach them... the way to develop them...
08:07 in our children... is very different...
08:09 you can't use the same sort of strategies
08:11 that worked to teach reading and math skills
08:14 if you want to help children develop their grit,
08:16 perseverance and curiosity, it's a very different process...
08:18 What you said... is so rich because...
08:21 up until the time I read your book
08:24 I subscribed too...
08:26 to that whole cognitive hypothesis
08:28 that you mentioned... it's the idea that we need to
08:32 give our inner-city kids more...
08:35 they need to start reading earlier
08:38 they need to be exposed to words earlier...
08:41 we need more verbal interaction with them...
08:45 and yet... what you're saying is that
08:48 this is important... but and correct me if I'm wrong
08:52 this is important but also on the other side
08:56 there are some non-cognitive kinds of skills that
09:00 we as parents can teach our children...
09:03 that they need to know... to be successful...
09:06 it's just not about cognition... correct?
09:09 Absolutely... and I appreciate your emphasizing that...
09:13 it's not that we're saying... don't worry about your
09:16 children's reading and math ability
09:18 it's just that... that alone is not enough
09:20 and I think... one of the interesting things
09:22 that we're finding... and that these researchers
09:23 are finding... is some of the things
09:25 that the parents are sometimes encouraged to do
09:28 to help develop... say their children's verbal ability
09:31 things like having more conversations...
09:33 one-on-one conversations with your kids
09:35 reading aloud to them every night...
09:37 those things certainly help with vocabulary development
09:39 but part of the reason I think why that's so important
09:42 because that they encourage a connection...
09:44 and closeness between a parent and a child...
09:47 just the experience of sitting with your child
09:49 every night and reading them a book or two
09:51 what the kids are getting out of that
09:54 the neuroscientists now tell us
09:55 is not just vocabulary development
09:57 it's the warmth of sitting with the parent
09:59 or another caregiver and having you know,
10:01 having their parent's arm around them
10:04 and just speaking in those quiet voices
10:06 all of those things act as an important antidote
10:11 to a lot of the stresses of daily life...
10:13 especially for kids, I think, who are growing up
10:15 in difficult circumstances
10:16 when there are a lot of stresses...
10:17 but one of the big messages for me
10:19 is the neuroscience that I read about in the book
10:22 is that... parents can help to protect their kids
10:24 from a lot of the pressures of daily life
10:27 How so... how so...?
10:29 Well, by forming a kind of connection with them
10:32 by helping them learn how to manage stress
10:34 there's one neuroscientist that I talked to
10:35 said that... "One of the most important things
10:37 that parents can do for their kids
10:38 is in how they help them deal with stress... "
10:42 and there are some parents... and we all know these parents
10:45 who really don't help their kids to relieve stress
10:48 in fact they make their lives more stressful...
10:50 they add more stress to their children's lives
10:52 whether that's by putting pressure on them to succeed
10:54 or by yelling or having a chaotic home
10:57 but then there are other parents I think every parent
11:01 aspires to be like that... who really help their kids
11:04 learn how to deal with stressful situations
11:06 so, when... something happens...
11:08 when they fall down or get stressed out early on
11:11 they help to comfort them and to calm them down...
11:13 and then... as their kids get older...
11:15 you know, it's not justified coddling them
11:17 and comforting them... it's also about helping them
11:20 learn that they can deal with stressful situations
11:22 on their own... you know, that when they fall down,
11:24 they can help themselves back up...
11:26 they can deal with problems, and as kids get older
11:28 I think the job of parents in terms of stress
11:31 is to help your children learn that they can deal with
11:34 increasingly difficult problems you know,
11:36 to push them a little bit... still supporting them
11:38 but to push them a little... Absolutely... and you have to
11:40 kind of walk that line of knowing how far
11:45 to push and yet... being there to support them...
11:49 as well... and I think that that comes with experience
11:52 and time and prayer and reading and all of that...
11:55 I think, you kind of learn that, but the important thing is
11:59 to help them... to deal with the stressful situation...
12:03 one of the things that you talked about... in the book
12:06 were the ACEs or Adverse Childhood Experiences
12:09 and I thought this was very, very deep because
12:13 so often... in a lot of our homes
12:16 there's such chaos and such stress
12:20 that the children are just tossed and turned
12:23 with all these chaotic experiences...
12:26 can you talk a little bit about the ACEs and how
12:29 those things impact the children and their outcomes success-wise
12:34 Sure... so the Adverse Childhood Experience Study
12:38 was the study done about 20 years ago
12:40 by a couple of doctors
12:42 they took a large group of adults
12:44 and then asked them questions about stressful,
12:47 traumatic events they've had in childhood...
12:49 and these were pretty big ones things like
12:51 having parents split up... having someone in your family
12:55 who was addicted to drugs or alcohol...
12:57 someone in the family who was incarcerated...
12:59 being abused... sexually or physically
13:01 or neglected as a child, you know...
13:03 some pretty bad things... that can happen to kids...
13:06 and what they found was that...
13:07 the number of those experiences that these adults had had
13:12 as children... had a direct impact
13:14 on their physical health... so that people who had
13:17 experienced more of these adverse experiences
13:20 in childhood... they had cancer rates
13:21 that were twice as high as normal...
13:23 and heart disease rates that were twice as high as normal
13:27 and what scientists have come to understand over time...
13:30 is that it is the stress of experiencing
13:33 those traumatic events that has an effect
13:36 on our physical development, on our system...
13:39 and we can see its effects on our physical health
13:41 and on our mental health, and on the development
13:44 of the kind of tension and concentration skills
13:47 that matter so much in school...
13:48 so I think the message to parents and to teachers
13:52 is really two things... one is...
13:53 that we really need to try to protect our kids
13:56 from these serious... from these big stresses
14:00 as they're growing up... that you know... I think...
14:02 some of us think, "Well, they're just kids...
14:04 they bounce back... they're resilient, and they are,
14:06 they're resilient and they do recover, I think,
14:09 from difficult experiences, but they're affected
14:12 by all of them... especially living through
14:14 really intense traumas... like being a victim of violence
14:18 that has a big effect on kids and they need help
14:20 dealing with that... and then I think,
14:22 the other thing that it tells us...
14:23 as both parents and teachers
14:25 is that as kids get older we need to be really aware
14:29 of the experiences that they've gone through
14:31 as if they've experience these traumas
14:32 and they're acting out in school or acting out at home,
14:35 there's a reason for that... you know...
14:37 they're not just being bad kids, they're dealing with all
14:40 of the trauma that they've experienced...
14:41 so they need an additional kind of help
14:43 whether that's counseling or mentoring
14:45 or psychological help sometimes, medical help sometimes,
14:50 but these are things that are really, I think,
14:52 important for parents to take seriously...
14:54 Absolutely... I think sometimes
14:56 parents, as you said, sometimes parents say,
14:59 "Oh the kid will bounce back, children are resilient,
15:03 they can, you know, they can just make it through"
15:06 but actually there is a certain level of support
15:10 that is necessary to help the child to navigate
15:13 basically... through life... and through these
15:16 chaotic experiences... and so what you're saying
15:20 is that... now science is showing that
15:23 actually physical problems can emerge as a result of
15:27 these adverse childhood experiences
15:30 and I would imagine that, in addition to the physical
15:34 of course, there's the emotional and also
15:37 the outcome success-wise is not as high
15:40 for children who have had these adverse childhood experiences...
15:44 Absolutely, the physical outcomes
15:48 are just the ones that we can measure most clearly...
15:51 you can tell when someone gets cancer or doesn't get cancer
15:54 we can really measure...
15:56 and these scientists can measure the level of certain
15:58 stress hormones in the body... and measure the number of
16:01 antibodies that help us fight off colds and things like that
16:04 so, the data there is really clear and the connections
16:07 between those adverse experiences
16:09 and poor outcomes
16:10 in terms of health have been well documented...
16:14 but I think you're absolutely right
16:15 in some ways the psychological and emotional
16:19 outcomes are more... they're more serious
16:23 and they're more intense... they're just a little harder
16:26 to measure... this child sort of goes astray somehow
16:28 and they had traumatic experiences growing up...
16:31 it's harder for us to see that cause and effect
16:33 but it's very real... and I think it's happening
16:36 all the time and in lots of different sorts of families.
16:39 Absolutely... absolutely... you talk also about the concept
16:43 of attachment... and I thought
16:45 that was very interesting would you explain that to us?
16:47 Sure, so the psychology of attachment is something
16:50 I didn't know much about before I started work
16:53 on this book... but there's a long history going back
16:56 several decades of psychologists who've studied the connection
16:59 the emotional and psychological connection between
17:02 parents and children... and it's especially about infants
17:05 about the first 12 or 18 months of life
17:07 and what they find is that there's a test
17:10 that you can do that measures at age 12 months or
17:13 18 months whether children are securely attached
17:17 to their parents or insecurely attached...
17:20 anxiously attached... and most kids are securely
17:23 attached... about 60 percent of all...
17:26 What's that test... tell us about that test...
17:27 if you would...
17:28 Oh, the test... so it's a bit of a strange test
17:30 it's called "The Strange-Situation Test"
17:32 and so the way they do it... they do it in the laboratory
17:34 that just looks like a playroom and a parent...
17:38 usually a mother and a child, an infant...
17:41 play together for a while, and then the parent
17:44 leaves the room... and often children...
17:46 babies cry for a little while... they don't like being abandoned
17:50 and especially at 12 months, and then the parent comes back
17:53 and the test is actually not about what the infant
17:56 does when the parent leaves, it's about what the infant
17:58 does when the parent comes back,
17:59 and when infants are securely attached,
18:02 the baby, when the mom comes back, will usually run to her
18:07 and grab her... and sometimes they'll cry and
18:09 sometimes they won't cry, they'll be happy to be reunited
18:11 anxiously-attached babies will do
18:14 all sorts of different things, sometimes, they'll run over
18:16 they'll hit the parent... sometimes they'll ignore them
18:19 or pretend they didn't care that they left...
18:21 sometimes they'll just sort of curl up in a ball
18:24 and cry and be unable to be comforted
18:26 it's all of these sort of extreme reactions
18:30 that come from not trusting that their parent
18:33 is there for them... not feeling secure
18:35 in their relationship with their parent...
18:37 and that can happen for all sorts of reasons...
18:39 it certainly happens when there is abuse or neglect
18:41 but it also can happen when there's not enough
18:44 face-to-face connection
18:46 and presence between a parent and a child...
18:48 and one of the things that I find most interesting
18:52 in the research is that
18:53 this sort of connection, this sort of attachment
18:56 is something that parents can learn...
18:58 it's not just... you're the sort of parent who
19:01 is securely attached or not
19:02 if you get the right kind of support and instruction
19:06 as a parent... even if you're not someone
19:08 who tends to have that kind of connection with your babies...
19:11 you can change a few small things
19:13 in terms of the way you connect with them...
19:15 and you can do much better... and the reality is, you know,
19:18 it's hard for some parents, you grew up yourself
19:20 without having a secure attachment
19:22 with your own parents it's hard to be the sort of
19:25 mother or father who has a secure attachment
19:28 with your babies... but when adults... when parents
19:31 get that right kind of support, help from those around them,
19:34 it makes it a lot easier for them
19:36 to have that kind of close connection
19:37 and once they get that connection,
19:39 it makes parenting so much more pleasant and rewarding
19:43 and happier because everyone in the home
19:45 is a lot happier...
19:46 Yes... that is great... can you tell us
19:48 a few of the things that parents can do
19:51 to connect with their children?
19:54 Sure... so... some of it is just about warmth...
19:56 it's about holding and singing to... and caring for babies...
20:01 it's a lot of face-to-face connection
20:04 skin-to-skin connection, but it is also, I think,
20:07 about having... something I think
20:09 some parents don't think it's important in the early months
20:12 is having conversations with your baby...
20:14 looking them in the eye... and talking back and forth
20:17 even when the babies can't talk and are just sometimes listening
20:21 and sometimes gurgling and making strange sounds
20:24 their brains develop because of this face-to-face
20:27 connection... and that is a big part of
20:30 what develops the secure attachment
20:32 it gives babies the message, there's someone
20:35 looking out for them, someone is focused on me...
20:38 someone who is responding to my cues...
20:41 to the things that I say, so, little things like
20:44 you know, just looking babies in the eye,
20:46 and responding to the sounds that they make
20:48 those cues... those little actions,
20:52 have a big effect on how
20:53 children's brains develop and how that relationship evolves.
20:57 That is so true... and it's so important
21:00 it's not just taking the baby and sitting
21:03 the baby in front of Sesame Street
21:05 and hoping that the baby gets something from it...
21:08 Sure... It's interacting and reading
21:10 to the baby and singing songs and teaching the baby,
21:14 it's that close interaction and as you said,
21:18 skin-to-skin hugging the baby and having that verbal exchange
21:23 even if the baby can't talk well
21:25 Right... I think that's all so important
21:27 and that creates that sense of attachment... correct?
21:30 It does absolutely...
21:32 and I think... you're talking about Sesame Street
21:34 I think a lot of parents part of this
21:35 cognitive hypothesis idea...
21:37 I think a lot of parents... out of the last couple
21:39 of decades have heard this message from all over
21:42 that what matters is, you know, vocabulary development
21:45 and getting the right kind of sort of cognitive influence
21:48 and so a lot of them are fine
21:49 "Okay, I'm going to give the baby this video game
21:53 that builds vocabularies or I'll let them watch this TV show
21:55 that develops vocabularies," and in fact,
21:57 what we're find is that's not how children
22:00 either develop the sort of character strengths
22:03 that matter or develop their vocabulary
22:04 they way that they develop is in face-to-face contact
22:07 with an adult and ideally... with a parent.
22:10 Yes, yes, let's talk a bit about character development
22:14 because that is such a key
22:16 a key component in being successful...
22:19 tools of the mind... those strategies with
22:22 tools of the mind... tell us about that...
22:24 sure, so... the way that I read,
22:28 I want to talk for a second about the word "character"
22:30 so, character, I think, is a complicated word...
22:33 it's also sometimes a controversial word...
22:35 there's a way... that at certain points
22:38 in history... we've used it as a way to
22:40 I think, try to impose different values on people...
22:43 and so a I think a lot of people...
22:44 resist... someone telling them, you know,
22:46 "Your child does not have the right character strengths... "
22:48 but I think that in the research that I'm writing about
22:51 in how children succeed, character is just another word
22:55 for this kind of non-cognitive brain development
22:59 it's things like being able to persist at a difficult task
23:02 dealing very well with a confrontation...
23:04 all of those... I think... are the character strengths
23:06 that matter most... in terms of how children succeed
23:09 and so, what researchers are finding is that
23:12 at different stages of a child's development
23:15 there are different things that help develop these skills
23:17 early on... as we've been talking about
23:19 things like attachment... things like close connection
23:22 between a parent and a child, that makes a big difference
23:24 in terms of... the development of these character strengths...
23:27 tools of the mind is this pre-Kindergarten and
23:29 Kindergarten Program that uses... "play"
23:32 uses make-believe play with 4- and 5-year-olds...
23:35 to develop self-control, another very important
23:38 character strength... their theory is
23:40 when kids do make-believe, they learn how to follow rules
23:43 and then that's a more effective way
23:45 of getting kids to learn self-control
23:47 than just lecturing them and telling them...
23:49 "You have to be more self-controlled"
23:51 make-believe play helps them learn those sorts of skills
23:55 on their own... and then when kids get older,
23:57 I think it's much more about the way we talk with kids
24:00 there's this psychological idea called "metacognition"
24:04 which just means... thinking about "thinking"
24:06 and when kids get older... when kids become adolescents
24:09 for the first time, they are really able to
24:11 reflect on their own thought processes...
24:13 and some of the best interventions
24:15 that I have read about on how children succeed...
24:16 encourage conversations, encourage kids to really reflect
24:19 on themselves... why am I not being more self-controlled?
24:23 why do I always react to this kind of provocation in this way?
24:26 and when we can talk to our kids
24:28 or when mentors or community members can talk
24:30 to our kids... it's about these skills
24:33 I think they really respond well...
24:35 they like understanding themselves
24:37 and in understanding themselves they can often develop
24:40 better habits and better patterns
24:42 and really change their whole character...
24:44 Wow! that is amazing, you know, that's such...
24:48 those areas of perseverance and optimism and self-control
24:53 and curiosity... these things are aspects that
24:57 we have not really emphasized in the past...
25:00 and you're telling us that Science really had shown that
25:04 we really do need to look at these things
25:06 a bit more thoroughly because that is the other side
25:09 of the success piece... You're right... and... I mean...
25:13 there's a way, I think, that every parent knows this...
25:16 and knows that these skills are important
25:18 and want their kids to be able to
25:19 exercise self-control...
25:21 they want their children to be optimistic...
25:22 but I think there are lots of ways... that the messages
25:26 that we've received from Society...
25:28 especially over the last 10 or 15 years
25:30 have been oriented in a very different direction...
25:33 it's sort of telling us it's all about your test scores
25:36 that's what's going to matter that's what we need to focus on
25:38 and again... while those things important
25:40 there is this much broader set of skills
25:43 that parents can do a whole lot to affect in their children...
25:45 and that... that Science is not telling us
25:48 matter a great deal... in terms of the long-term success
25:52 of any individual... certainly any child...
25:53 Thank you so much... for telling us these things...
25:58 do you have a closing thought...
25:59 our time is up... I cannot believe it...
26:01 do you have a closing thought for our viewers...
26:03 anything that you'd like to share
26:05 in like 30 seconds or less?
26:06 Sure, I think, especially for the parents in the audience
26:10 I think it's really useful to understand
26:12 how much power we have... as parents
26:14 you know, we can't control everything about our children
26:16 in our children's lives, but I think the fact that
26:19 that making a few changes
26:21 in how we deal with our kids
26:22 thinking a little bit differently about them
26:24 connecting with them a little bit more
26:25 can have this huge impact... not just on how things go
26:29 in the family right away, but also can affect things like
26:32 their High School graduation rate...
26:34 you know, how likely they are going to be successful
26:36 for the long term... so there's a lot
26:38 that we can do as parents... even when we're dealing with
26:41 pretty stressful situations around us...
26:43 Thank you so much Paul for being with us
26:46 and thank you for the insight that you've shared...
26:48 and thank you for this book, I recommend it to everybody,
26:52 get "How Children Succeed" it's a crucial book...
26:55 Thanks so much Yvonne, it was great to be here...
26:58 I enjoyed the conversation.
26:59 The Bible says, "Train up a child...
27:02 in the way he should go... and when he's old...
27:05 he will not depart from it. " What does that mean?
27:07 Besides teaching our children about Jesus...
27:10 we should help them in character building...
27:13 Paul Tough made some great points
27:15 about how Science is supporting the idea of character building
27:20 we can endow our children with the skills-set of perseverance,
27:24 curiosity, optimism and self-control...
27:27 you don't have to be rich to do that...
27:30 you just have to parent... I pray that today...
27:34 you got some tips and some strategies
27:37 that you can instantly apply to your children in their lives
27:40 and if not to your own children, to your grandchildren,
27:43 to your neighbors, share this information
27:46 it's so critical...
27:47 Well, that's it for our Program today...
27:50 Thanks so much for joining us...
27:52 Tune in next time... because you know what?
27:54 It just wouldn't be the same without you.


Revised 2023-09-26