Participants: Yvonne Lewis (Host), Paul Tough
Series Code: UBR
Program Code: UBR000083S
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00:01 If you're serious about having a successful child...
00:03 you won't want to miss this Program... 00:05 My name is Yvonne Lewis and you're watching 00:08 Urban Report... 00:31 Hello, and welcome to Urban Report... 00:34 My guest today is Paul Tough author of 00:37 "How Children Succeed" and Speaker... 00:39 Welcome to Urban Report... Paul... 00:42 Thank you... great to be here... 00:44 Yeah... it's so good to have you here... 00:45 I'm so glad that you could take the time out 00:47 to be with us today... 00:49 Yeah, thrilled to be here thanks for inviting me... 00:51 Oh, sure, sure... so, I have to tell our viewers 00:54 that a few months ago, I was in an airport 00:57 and I was just browsing through the book section 01:01 and I came across this book "How Children Succeed" 01:05 and I thought... "Hmmm... that sounds great" 01:07 because I'm always trying to find some things 01:09 to share with our viewers... on tips and strategies 01:12 to help our kids in the inner cities... 01:14 to be more successful... so, I looked at this book 01:17 and I thought, "Wow, this looks great... " 01:20 and I took it home well, I bought it, of course, 01:23 this is a Christian Network... we don't want people 01:27 to think that I just took it home... 01:28 I bought it... and, Paul, this book is so 01:33 powerful... the tips and strategies that you have 01:37 and the Science and the information 01:39 and it's not boring... you know, it's not so heavy 01:42 that a person can't read it and digest what's in it... 01:45 I want to thank you for writing this book 01:48 and all that you've done to help children in the inner city, 01:53 so, let's talk a little bit first 01:56 about your background 01:57 tell us a little bit about you and where you come from... 02:00 Sure, I'm a journalist, I grew up in Canada... 02:03 but have lived in the United States for a long time 02:07 since College and I have mostly been an Editor 02:10 with magazines and about 10 years ago 02:12 I started writing... first off, I started writing 02:15 magazine articles... then I wrote an article 02:17 about a man named Geoffrey Canada 02:18 who's the Head of Harlem Children Zone... 02:20 and the book that I wrote about him... 02:23 "Whatever it Takes" came out in 2008 02:25 and then after that book was done 02:28 I started working on this one on "How Children Succeed" 02:31 so these are the two books that I've written... so far... 02:33 And why are you interested in the inner city children? 02:36 Well, I think that I lived for a long time in New York City 02:42 and I think, you can't live anywhere in New York City 02:45 without understanding that the inequities and the gaps 02:48 in our big cities right now are really significant problems 02:51 and they are significant problems 02:53 I think, no matter where you live... 02:55 but I didn't really get tuned in to the importance of 02:59 these questions until I started writing about Geoffrey Canada 03:02 and the Harlem Children's Zone which he runs 03:05 is... as I'm guessing a lot of your viewers will know, 03:08 is this 97th Block neighborhood in Central Harlem... 03:10 what Geoff and his team are doing 03:14 is trying to help children succeed in that neighborhood 03:18 in all sorts of ways... so they run schools 03:20 but they're also combining those educational supports 03:23 with social supports and psychological supports 03:25 and emotional supports... and working with him... 03:28 writing about him... really made me think about 03:31 the questions of what it takes to help every child 03:34 in the United States succeed, and I really don't think 03:37 there's any more important question 03:39 when you think about... the sort of questions of 03:43 social justice in our society 03:44 and also the economic health of the United States 03:46 if we want to succeed in the long term... 03:48 these are questions we really need to solve... 03:51 Absolutely... you know, I was in 03:53 New York not too long ago and I stopped by the 03:57 Harlem Children's Zone because I'd heard so much about 03:59 it and I wanted to kind of see first hand 04:02 what it was all about... I love the idea... 04:05 as you mentioned... it's just not an academic 04:08 environment... it's also... 04:10 it's a holistic kind of environment 04:12 where there's a lot of parental involvement 04:14 in fact, your child can't go there 04:16 from what I understand 04:18 unless the parent is going to be involved as well... 04:21 it that correct? They don't have that kind 04:24 of restriction because they certainly want parental 04:26 involvement... but they also want to serve 04:28 children whose parents 04:30 might not be willing to be involved... 04:32 they feel like... those kids need more help 04:35 not less help... in a lot of circumstances... 04:38 Ah... so they do allow the children of parents 04:41 who are not that involved or don't want to be involved 04:43 or whatever... to attend the School... 04:45 They do... but they do also have a lot of Programs 04:49 to try to engage and involve parents 04:52 and I think... one of the most ones 04:54 is something they call "Baby College" 04:56 which is this 9- week Program 04:58 for new parents... expecting parents... 05:01 parents of children up to age 5, that, over the course of 05:06 several weeks tries to... give them the sort of 05:08 information and support that I think... every parent 05:11 is really looking for... in terms of 05:12 how to deal with issues of disciplining them 05:15 brain development... safety in the home... 05:17 and that Program... especially... 05:19 since it starts sometimes with parents of infants 05:22 it really engages parents for the long haul... 05:24 so that... by the time their kids get to school... 05:26 they're tightly woven in with the Harlem Children's Zone 05:30 that is so... incredible... I so would love to see 05:34 more schools like the Harlem Children's Zone 05:37 around the Country... because as you know, I'm sure, 05:41 there's such a misconception about inner-city kids 05:44 "Oh, they can't learn" or "they're slow" 05:46 or whatever... but this School... 05:49 and others like it... really... 05:51 these schools show that these children can learn 05:54 and they can be successful... but they have to have 05:56 the support that's necessary... 05:58 Yeah... I think it's such an important message 06:01 and there are... and it's a good thing 06:02 that there are now a lot of communities 06:04 a lot of schools around the Country 06:05 that are trying to replicate it and emulate 06:07 what the Harlem Children's Zone is doing... 06:09 but I think you're right... it's that message 06:12 that, absolutely, these children can succeed... 06:14 even when they come from very difficult circumstances... 06:16 but they need more help than other children... 06:18 and that help, I think, ideally, should come... 06:21 just not in the classroom but from the whole Community 06:23 it has to go... well beyond the walls of the school... 06:26 Absolutely... absolutely... so, tell us then... 06:30 how did writing that story impact and influence 06:35 your writing... "How Children Succeed" 06:36 It's a great question... 06:38 so it took 5 years to report 06:40 and write that first book... and when I got to the end... 06:43 even after all that reporting... I felt like I still had some 06:46 big questions about... how children succeed... 06:49 about why some children can seem to come 06:51 from similar backgrounds from other children 06:53 and that some will succeed and others will lose their way 06:58 and in the process of doing that first book 07:00 I've connected with a lot of Scientists and Researchers, 07:04 Economists and Neuroscientists and Psychologists 07:07 and as I started talking to them as that book was coming out 07:11 I realized that there was more to the story 07:13 than I was able to get in whatever it takes... 07:15 and a big part of the idea that went into 07:18 "How Children Succeed" is there's a difference 07:21 in different kinds of skills that children develop 07:24 as they grow... Economists divide these skills 07:26 into what they call... cognitive skills and 07:29 non-cognitive skills 07:30 but really it's about the kind of skills 07:32 that got measured on standardized tests... 07:35 your IQ and Reading and Math abilities 07:37 all of which are very important but which, I think, 07:40 we've overly emphasized in some of our educational 07:42 projects as of the couple of decades... 07:46 and on the other side we have non-cognitive skills 07:49 character strengths... things like grit and perseverance 07:53 curiosity, optimism, self-control, 07:56 and then those skills... these researchers were finding 07:59 turned out to be extremely important 08:02 in terms of which children succeed and which ones don't... 08:04 but the way to teach them... the way to develop them... 08:07 in our children... is very different... 08:09 you can't use the same sort of strategies 08:11 that worked to teach reading and math skills 08:14 if you want to help children develop their grit, 08:16 perseverance and curiosity, it's a very different process... 08:18 What you said... is so rich because... 08:21 up until the time I read your book 08:24 I subscribed too... 08:26 to that whole cognitive hypothesis 08:28 that you mentioned... it's the idea that we need to 08:32 give our inner-city kids more... 08:35 they need to start reading earlier 08:38 they need to be exposed to words earlier... 08:41 we need more verbal interaction with them... 08:45 and yet... what you're saying is that 08:48 this is important... but and correct me if I'm wrong 08:52 this is important but also on the other side 08:56 there are some non-cognitive kinds of skills that 09:00 we as parents can teach our children... 09:03 that they need to know... to be successful... 09:06 it's just not about cognition... correct? 09:09 Absolutely... and I appreciate your emphasizing that... 09:13 it's not that we're saying... don't worry about your 09:16 children's reading and math ability 09:18 it's just that... that alone is not enough 09:20 and I think... one of the interesting things 09:22 that we're finding... and that these researchers 09:23 are finding... is some of the things 09:25 that the parents are sometimes encouraged to do 09:28 to help develop... say their children's verbal ability 09:31 things like having more conversations... 09:33 one-on-one conversations with your kids 09:35 reading aloud to them every night... 09:37 those things certainly help with vocabulary development 09:39 but part of the reason I think why that's so important 09:42 because that they encourage a connection... 09:44 and closeness between a parent and a child... 09:47 just the experience of sitting with your child 09:49 every night and reading them a book or two 09:51 what the kids are getting out of that 09:54 the neuroscientists now tell us 09:55 is not just vocabulary development 09:57 it's the warmth of sitting with the parent 09:59 or another caregiver and having you know, 10:01 having their parent's arm around them 10:04 and just speaking in those quiet voices 10:06 all of those things act as an important antidote 10:11 to a lot of the stresses of daily life... 10:13 especially for kids, I think, who are growing up 10:15 in difficult circumstances 10:16 when there are a lot of stresses... 10:17 but one of the big messages for me 10:19 is the neuroscience that I read about in the book 10:22 is that... parents can help to protect their kids 10:24 from a lot of the pressures of daily life 10:27 How so... how so...? 10:29 Well, by forming a kind of connection with them 10:32 by helping them learn how to manage stress 10:34 there's one neuroscientist that I talked to 10:35 said that... "One of the most important things 10:37 that parents can do for their kids 10:38 is in how they help them deal with stress... " 10:42 and there are some parents... and we all know these parents 10:45 who really don't help their kids to relieve stress 10:48 in fact they make their lives more stressful... 10:50 they add more stress to their children's lives 10:52 whether that's by putting pressure on them to succeed 10:54 or by yelling or having a chaotic home 10:57 but then there are other parents I think every parent 11:01 aspires to be like that... who really help their kids 11:04 learn how to deal with stressful situations 11:06 so, when... something happens... 11:08 when they fall down or get stressed out early on 11:11 they help to comfort them and to calm them down... 11:13 and then... as their kids get older... 11:15 you know, it's not justified coddling them 11:17 and comforting them... it's also about helping them 11:20 learn that they can deal with stressful situations 11:22 on their own... you know, that when they fall down, 11:24 they can help themselves back up... 11:26 they can deal with problems, and as kids get older 11:28 I think the job of parents in terms of stress 11:31 is to help your children learn that they can deal with 11:34 increasingly difficult problems you know, 11:36 to push them a little bit... still supporting them 11:38 but to push them a little... Absolutely... and you have to 11:40 kind of walk that line of knowing how far 11:45 to push and yet... being there to support them... 11:49 as well... and I think that that comes with experience 11:52 and time and prayer and reading and all of that... 11:55 I think, you kind of learn that, but the important thing is 11:59 to help them... to deal with the stressful situation... 12:03 one of the things that you talked about... in the book 12:06 were the ACEs or Adverse Childhood Experiences 12:09 and I thought this was very, very deep because 12:13 so often... in a lot of our homes 12:16 there's such chaos and such stress 12:20 that the children are just tossed and turned 12:23 with all these chaotic experiences... 12:26 can you talk a little bit about the ACEs and how 12:29 those things impact the children and their outcomes success-wise 12:34 Sure... so the Adverse Childhood Experience Study 12:38 was the study done about 20 years ago 12:40 by a couple of doctors 12:42 they took a large group of adults 12:44 and then asked them questions about stressful, 12:47 traumatic events they've had in childhood... 12:49 and these were pretty big ones things like 12:51 having parents split up... having someone in your family 12:55 who was addicted to drugs or alcohol... 12:57 someone in the family who was incarcerated... 12:59 being abused... sexually or physically 13:01 or neglected as a child, you know... 13:03 some pretty bad things... that can happen to kids... 13:06 and what they found was that... 13:07 the number of those experiences that these adults had had 13:12 as children... had a direct impact 13:14 on their physical health... so that people who had 13:17 experienced more of these adverse experiences 13:20 in childhood... they had cancer rates 13:21 that were twice as high as normal... 13:23 and heart disease rates that were twice as high as normal 13:27 and what scientists have come to understand over time... 13:30 is that it is the stress of experiencing 13:33 those traumatic events that has an effect 13:36 on our physical development, on our system... 13:39 and we can see its effects on our physical health 13:41 and on our mental health, and on the development 13:44 of the kind of tension and concentration skills 13:47 that matter so much in school... 13:48 so I think the message to parents and to teachers 13:52 is really two things... one is... 13:53 that we really need to try to protect our kids 13:56 from these serious... from these big stresses 14:00 as they're growing up... that you know... I think... 14:02 some of us think, "Well, they're just kids... 14:04 they bounce back... they're resilient, and they are, 14:06 they're resilient and they do recover, I think, 14:09 from difficult experiences, but they're affected 14:12 by all of them... especially living through 14:14 really intense traumas... like being a victim of violence 14:18 that has a big effect on kids and they need help 14:20 dealing with that... and then I think, 14:22 the other thing that it tells us... 14:23 as both parents and teachers 14:25 is that as kids get older we need to be really aware 14:29 of the experiences that they've gone through 14:31 as if they've experience these traumas 14:32 and they're acting out in school or acting out at home, 14:35 there's a reason for that... you know... 14:37 they're not just being bad kids, they're dealing with all 14:40 of the trauma that they've experienced... 14:41 so they need an additional kind of help 14:43 whether that's counseling or mentoring 14:45 or psychological help sometimes, medical help sometimes, 14:50 but these are things that are really, I think, 14:52 important for parents to take seriously... 14:54 Absolutely... I think sometimes 14:56 parents, as you said, sometimes parents say, 14:59 "Oh the kid will bounce back, children are resilient, 15:03 they can, you know, they can just make it through" 15:06 but actually there is a certain level of support 15:10 that is necessary to help the child to navigate 15:13 basically... through life... and through these 15:16 chaotic experiences... and so what you're saying 15:20 is that... now science is showing that 15:23 actually physical problems can emerge as a result of 15:27 these adverse childhood experiences 15:30 and I would imagine that, in addition to the physical 15:34 of course, there's the emotional and also 15:37 the outcome success-wise is not as high 15:40 for children who have had these adverse childhood experiences... 15:44 Absolutely, the physical outcomes 15:48 are just the ones that we can measure most clearly... 15:51 you can tell when someone gets cancer or doesn't get cancer 15:54 we can really measure... 15:56 and these scientists can measure the level of certain 15:58 stress hormones in the body... and measure the number of 16:01 antibodies that help us fight off colds and things like that 16:04 so, the data there is really clear and the connections 16:07 between those adverse experiences 16:09 and poor outcomes 16:10 in terms of health have been well documented... 16:14 but I think you're absolutely right 16:15 in some ways the psychological and emotional 16:19 outcomes are more... they're more serious 16:23 and they're more intense... they're just a little harder 16:26 to measure... this child sort of goes astray somehow 16:28 and they had traumatic experiences growing up... 16:31 it's harder for us to see that cause and effect 16:33 but it's very real... and I think it's happening 16:36 all the time and in lots of different sorts of families. 16:39 Absolutely... absolutely... you talk also about the concept 16:43 of attachment... and I thought 16:45 that was very interesting would you explain that to us? 16:47 Sure, so the psychology of attachment is something 16:50 I didn't know much about before I started work 16:53 on this book... but there's a long history going back 16:56 several decades of psychologists who've studied the connection 16:59 the emotional and psychological connection between 17:02 parents and children... and it's especially about infants 17:05 about the first 12 or 18 months of life 17:07 and what they find is that there's a test 17:10 that you can do that measures at age 12 months or 17:13 18 months whether children are securely attached 17:17 to their parents or insecurely attached... 17:20 anxiously attached... and most kids are securely 17:23 attached... about 60 percent of all... 17:26 What's that test... tell us about that test... 17:27 if you would... 17:28 Oh, the test... so it's a bit of a strange test 17:30 it's called "The Strange-Situation Test" 17:32 and so the way they do it... they do it in the laboratory 17:34 that just looks like a playroom and a parent... 17:38 usually a mother and a child, an infant... 17:41 play together for a while, and then the parent 17:44 leaves the room... and often children... 17:46 babies cry for a little while... they don't like being abandoned 17:50 and especially at 12 months, and then the parent comes back 17:53 and the test is actually not about what the infant 17:56 does when the parent leaves, it's about what the infant 17:58 does when the parent comes back, 17:59 and when infants are securely attached, 18:02 the baby, when the mom comes back, will usually run to her 18:07 and grab her... and sometimes they'll cry and 18:09 sometimes they won't cry, they'll be happy to be reunited 18:11 anxiously-attached babies will do 18:14 all sorts of different things, sometimes, they'll run over 18:16 they'll hit the parent... sometimes they'll ignore them 18:19 or pretend they didn't care that they left... 18:21 sometimes they'll just sort of curl up in a ball 18:24 and cry and be unable to be comforted 18:26 it's all of these sort of extreme reactions 18:30 that come from not trusting that their parent 18:33 is there for them... not feeling secure 18:35 in their relationship with their parent... 18:37 and that can happen for all sorts of reasons... 18:39 it certainly happens when there is abuse or neglect 18:41 but it also can happen when there's not enough 18:44 face-to-face connection 18:46 and presence between a parent and a child... 18:48 and one of the things that I find most interesting 18:52 in the research is that 18:53 this sort of connection, this sort of attachment 18:56 is something that parents can learn... 18:58 it's not just... you're the sort of parent who 19:01 is securely attached or not 19:02 if you get the right kind of support and instruction 19:06 as a parent... even if you're not someone 19:08 who tends to have that kind of connection with your babies... 19:11 you can change a few small things 19:13 in terms of the way you connect with them... 19:15 and you can do much better... and the reality is, you know, 19:18 it's hard for some parents, you grew up yourself 19:20 without having a secure attachment 19:22 with your own parents it's hard to be the sort of 19:25 mother or father who has a secure attachment 19:28 with your babies... but when adults... when parents 19:31 get that right kind of support, help from those around them, 19:34 it makes it a lot easier for them 19:36 to have that kind of close connection 19:37 and once they get that connection, 19:39 it makes parenting so much more pleasant and rewarding 19:43 and happier because everyone in the home 19:45 is a lot happier... 19:46 Yes... that is great... can you tell us 19:48 a few of the things that parents can do 19:51 to connect with their children? 19:54 Sure... so... some of it is just about warmth... 19:56 it's about holding and singing to... and caring for babies... 20:01 it's a lot of face-to-face connection 20:04 skin-to-skin connection, but it is also, I think, 20:07 about having... something I think 20:09 some parents don't think it's important in the early months 20:12 is having conversations with your baby... 20:14 looking them in the eye... and talking back and forth 20:17 even when the babies can't talk and are just sometimes listening 20:21 and sometimes gurgling and making strange sounds 20:24 their brains develop because of this face-to-face 20:27 connection... and that is a big part of 20:30 what develops the secure attachment 20:32 it gives babies the message, there's someone 20:35 looking out for them, someone is focused on me... 20:38 someone who is responding to my cues... 20:41 to the things that I say, so, little things like 20:44 you know, just looking babies in the eye, 20:46 and responding to the sounds that they make 20:48 those cues... those little actions, 20:52 have a big effect on how 20:53 children's brains develop and how that relationship evolves. 20:57 That is so true... and it's so important 21:00 it's not just taking the baby and sitting 21:03 the baby in front of Sesame Street 21:05 and hoping that the baby gets something from it... 21:08 Sure... It's interacting and reading 21:10 to the baby and singing songs and teaching the baby, 21:14 it's that close interaction and as you said, 21:18 skin-to-skin hugging the baby and having that verbal exchange 21:23 even if the baby can't talk well 21:25 Right... I think that's all so important 21:27 and that creates that sense of attachment... correct? 21:30 It does absolutely... 21:32 and I think... you're talking about Sesame Street 21:34 I think a lot of parents part of this 21:35 cognitive hypothesis idea... 21:37 I think a lot of parents... out of the last couple 21:39 of decades have heard this message from all over 21:42 that what matters is, you know, vocabulary development 21:45 and getting the right kind of sort of cognitive influence 21:48 and so a lot of them are fine 21:49 "Okay, I'm going to give the baby this video game 21:53 that builds vocabularies or I'll let them watch this TV show 21:55 that develops vocabularies," and in fact, 21:57 what we're find is that's not how children 22:00 either develop the sort of character strengths 22:03 that matter or develop their vocabulary 22:04 they way that they develop is in face-to-face contact 22:07 with an adult and ideally... with a parent. 22:10 Yes, yes, let's talk a bit about character development 22:14 because that is such a key 22:16 a key component in being successful... 22:19 tools of the mind... those strategies with 22:22 tools of the mind... tell us about that... 22:24 sure, so... the way that I read, 22:28 I want to talk for a second about the word "character" 22:30 so, character, I think, is a complicated word... 22:33 it's also sometimes a controversial word... 22:35 there's a way... that at certain points 22:38 in history... we've used it as a way to 22:40 I think, try to impose different values on people... 22:43 and so a I think a lot of people... 22:44 resist... someone telling them, you know, 22:46 "Your child does not have the right character strengths... " 22:48 but I think that in the research that I'm writing about 22:51 in how children succeed, character is just another word 22:55 for this kind of non-cognitive brain development 22:59 it's things like being able to persist at a difficult task 23:02 dealing very well with a confrontation... 23:04 all of those... I think... are the character strengths 23:06 that matter most... in terms of how children succeed 23:09 and so, what researchers are finding is that 23:12 at different stages of a child's development 23:15 there are different things that help develop these skills 23:17 early on... as we've been talking about 23:19 things like attachment... things like close connection 23:22 between a parent and a child, that makes a big difference 23:24 in terms of... the development of these character strengths... 23:27 tools of the mind is this pre-Kindergarten and 23:29 Kindergarten Program that uses... "play" 23:32 uses make-believe play with 4- and 5-year-olds... 23:35 to develop self-control, another very important 23:38 character strength... their theory is 23:40 when kids do make-believe, they learn how to follow rules 23:43 and then that's a more effective way 23:45 of getting kids to learn self-control 23:47 than just lecturing them and telling them... 23:49 "You have to be more self-controlled" 23:51 make-believe play helps them learn those sorts of skills 23:55 on their own... and then when kids get older, 23:57 I think it's much more about the way we talk with kids 24:00 there's this psychological idea called "metacognition" 24:04 which just means... thinking about "thinking" 24:06 and when kids get older... when kids become adolescents 24:09 for the first time, they are really able to 24:11 reflect on their own thought processes... 24:13 and some of the best interventions 24:15 that I have read about on how children succeed... 24:16 encourage conversations, encourage kids to really reflect 24:19 on themselves... why am I not being more self-controlled? 24:23 why do I always react to this kind of provocation in this way? 24:26 and when we can talk to our kids 24:28 or when mentors or community members can talk 24:30 to our kids... it's about these skills 24:33 I think they really respond well... 24:35 they like understanding themselves 24:37 and in understanding themselves they can often develop 24:40 better habits and better patterns 24:42 and really change their whole character... 24:44 Wow! that is amazing, you know, that's such... 24:48 those areas of perseverance and optimism and self-control 24:53 and curiosity... these things are aspects that 24:57 we have not really emphasized in the past... 25:00 and you're telling us that Science really had shown that 25:04 we really do need to look at these things 25:06 a bit more thoroughly because that is the other side 25:09 of the success piece... You're right... and... I mean... 25:13 there's a way, I think, that every parent knows this... 25:16 and knows that these skills are important 25:18 and want their kids to be able to 25:19 exercise self-control... 25:21 they want their children to be optimistic... 25:22 but I think there are lots of ways... that the messages 25:26 that we've received from Society... 25:28 especially over the last 10 or 15 years 25:30 have been oriented in a very different direction... 25:33 it's sort of telling us it's all about your test scores 25:36 that's what's going to matter that's what we need to focus on 25:38 and again... while those things important 25:40 there is this much broader set of skills 25:43 that parents can do a whole lot to affect in their children... 25:45 and that... that Science is not telling us 25:48 matter a great deal... in terms of the long-term success 25:52 of any individual... certainly any child... 25:53 Thank you so much... for telling us these things... 25:58 do you have a closing thought... 25:59 our time is up... I cannot believe it... 26:01 do you have a closing thought for our viewers... 26:03 anything that you'd like to share 26:05 in like 30 seconds or less? 26:06 Sure, I think, especially for the parents in the audience 26:10 I think it's really useful to understand 26:12 how much power we have... as parents 26:14 you know, we can't control everything about our children 26:16 in our children's lives, but I think the fact that 26:19 that making a few changes 26:21 in how we deal with our kids 26:22 thinking a little bit differently about them 26:24 connecting with them a little bit more 26:25 can have this huge impact... not just on how things go 26:29 in the family right away, but also can affect things like 26:32 their High School graduation rate... 26:34 you know, how likely they are going to be successful 26:36 for the long term... so there's a lot 26:38 that we can do as parents... even when we're dealing with 26:41 pretty stressful situations around us... 26:43 Thank you so much Paul for being with us 26:46 and thank you for the insight that you've shared... 26:48 and thank you for this book, I recommend it to everybody, 26:52 get "How Children Succeed" it's a crucial book... 26:55 Thanks so much Yvonne, it was great to be here... 26:58 I enjoyed the conversation. 26:59 The Bible says, "Train up a child... 27:02 in the way he should go... and when he's old... 27:05 he will not depart from it. " What does that mean? 27:07 Besides teaching our children about Jesus... 27:10 we should help them in character building... 27:13 Paul Tough made some great points 27:15 about how Science is supporting the idea of character building 27:20 we can endow our children with the skills-set of perseverance, 27:24 curiosity, optimism and self-control... 27:27 you don't have to be rich to do that... 27:30 you just have to parent... I pray that today... 27:34 you got some tips and some strategies 27:37 that you can instantly apply to your children in their lives 27:40 and if not to your own children, to your grandchildren, 27:43 to your neighbors, share this information 27:46 it's so critical... 27:47 Well, that's it for our Program today... 27:50 Thanks so much for joining us... 27:52 Tune in next time... because you know what? 27:54 It just wouldn't be the same without you. |
Revised 2023-09-26