Participants: Yvonne Lewis (Host), Nicole Parker
Series Code: UBR
Program Code: UBR000121A
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00:01 Are you depressed... a victim of sexual abuse...
00:03 or do you have an addiction? 00:05 Well stay tuned because help is on the way... 00:07 My name is Yvonne Lewis and you're watching... 00:10 Urban Report... 00:34 Hello and welcome to Urban Report... 00:36 My guest today is Biblical Counselor, 00:38 Nicole Parker... 00:39 Welcome to Urban Report Nicole... 00:41 Thank you... it's great to be here... 00:43 Oh! it's great to have you here... 00:45 I found out about you from Mike Carducci 00:47 who's with 'Coming Out' Ministries... 00:50 he said, "You have to have Nicole Parker on your Program" 00:53 Mike is awesome... 00:54 He is... he is... I love them, they're such great guys... 00:57 so... and Danielle, you know, 00:59 they've added Danielle to the team... 01:01 it's just a wonderful team... and so, when I heard about you 01:04 I thought, "Okay, let me give you a call... 01:06 to see if you're available" and the Lord sent you today... 01:08 and we're really thankful... Praise the Lord... 01:11 So, let's talk a little bit about Biblical Counseling... 01:14 what's the difference between that and Christian Counseling? 01:16 Well you know... a lot of what's... 01:18 you could say that there are 3 different kinds 01:20 of counseling... there's Secular Counseling... 01:22 which says "You've got to find the answers outside of God" 01:26 there's Christian Counseling which is a spectrum of things 01:30 that largely says, "You're going to have to find 01:33 the answers... somewhere outside of God... " 01:36 and Biblical Counseling which says, 01:39 "All the answers are within the gospel... " 01:41 Hmmm... So, most Christian Counseling 01:44 follows a similar kind of approach... 01:47 that Secular Counseling does... 01:49 one of my friends recently told me 01:51 he was looking for a Counselor and so he interviewed someone 01:55 and said, "So, are you a Biblical Counsellor?" 01:57 and the man smiled and said, 01:58 "Well, I'm not going to proof-text you... 02:00 I can counsel anybody 02:02 from any sort of religious background... 02:04 using the techniques that I use" 02:06 well, as a Biblical Counselor, I have to disagree... 02:10 it's not that I can't counsel anyone 02:12 from any kind of background... 02:13 but I'm going to use the principles of the gospel 02:16 whether or not they yet understand Jesus Christ 02:19 as a personal savior or not... 02:21 the principles of the gospel are what cut to the heart 02:24 of what's going on in our world... 02:26 Right, so the Bible Counselor then... 02:29 always points the client back to the Bible... 02:34 and the principles there, and whereas the Christian Counselor 02:37 kind of... might use Biblical principles 02:41 but might also use some other principles from 02:44 other Secular Counseling world... 02:46 Right, and again, the Christian Counseling is a spectrum 02:49 there are many people who call themselves Christian Counselors, 02:51 but who are taking a more Biblical approach 02:54 they're saying, "This is where you're going to find healing 02:57 ultimately in God's Word... " but what's typically taught 03:01 to a person in a Counseling Curriculum 03:04 is more of a... "You have to let them find 03:06 the answers within themselves, you can't tell them the truth 03:10 you just have to listen well... and ultimately it's based on 03:14 humanistic pre-supposition... that the Counselee 03:17 has the answers deep within themselves, 03:20 where... the Bible tells us that our hearts are deceitful 03:24 and desperately wicked 03:25 how are we supposed to find the answers within ourselves? 03:27 So, if I counsel an adulterer... and I say, 03:31 "Well, what do you feel is the right answer for you 03:33 in this situation?" He may say, 03:34 "I feel like staying with my girlfriend 03:36 I don't want to be with my wife... " 03:38 Well, what can I say? 03:40 And I've been through a Christian Counseling Class 03:43 where... the teacher said, "Well, what should you do 03:45 if somebody comes to you considering abortion?" 03:48 And I said, "Well, I should tell them about the value 03:50 of this child's life in God's sight" 03:52 and the teacher stopped me and said, 03:53 "No, you can never do that... 03:55 you have to let them find the answers for themselves... " 03:58 and then later on in the class she said, 04:01 "Well, what do you do if someone comes to you 04:03 struggling with homosexuality?" and I said, 04:04 "Well, you have to show them what the Word of God says... 04:07 and show them compassionately God is not calling you 04:09 to a life of desolation and misery... 04:12 He's going to fulfill you... whether or not He fulfills you 04:16 in a marriage relationship 04:17 with a person of the opposite sex or not... 04:19 He can give you a deep and rich and living relationship 04:23 with Him" that's the same thing 04:24 I'm going to tell to the adulterer 04:26 but again... the Christian Counseling teacher said, 04:28 "No, you can't tell a person what's right or wrong 04:31 you must never tell them what you think is right or wrong 04:34 you have to let them find the answers within themselves... " 04:37 that's often what happens in a Christian Counseling atmosphere 04:40 You know Nicole, that's so similar to the whole 04:43 New Age idea... that God is within you 04:48 and that you go inside and all the mysticism, 04:52 Eastern mysticism and all that it's all about going inside 04:56 and tapping into that energy within... 04:59 and this is Secular Psychology as well... 05:02 Yes... You're tapping into that energy 05:05 within that self... it's about self... 05:09 and what Biblical Counseling... 05:11 I'm hearing you say is that it's outwardly directed 05:14 it's not inwardly directed but it's outwardly directed. 05:18 As a Biblical Counselor if somebody comes to me saying, 05:21 "I'm struggling with some marriage problems... 05:23 my husband and I can't communicate well... 05:25 he always wants this... I always want that... 05:27 I'm not going to sit there with him and say, 05:30 "All right, let's make a plan for how you guys can communicate 05:33 better... I'm going to make a list of 'her requirements' 05:37 'his requirements' now if you each agree 05:39 that you're going to do what the other person requires, 05:42 she's going to stop spending money all the time... 05:44 he's going to start coming home from work at 6 p. m. " 05:47 we're not going to get to the heart of things at all... 05:50 I can help people to communicate certainly it's useful learning 05:55 "Use 'I' messages... and take turns talking, 05:59 use reflective listening" those things aren't evil... 06:01 but what I can do... 06:03 without the gospel... the best I can do... 06:06 is help two sinners be able to live more peacefully 06:10 with one another without confronting the heart issues... 06:12 And that is key... 06:15 "Confronting the heart issues" 06:18 and looking at the root cause... 06:20 That's right... 06:22 going to the Word to find out the root cause 06:24 and then... strategies... because the Word will give you 06:27 "A soft answer turneth away wrath... " 06:29 I mean, the Word will give you strategies on how to deal with 06:33 different situations... 06:35 let's talk about different situations 06:38 that people find themselves in, such as depression... 06:42 if a client comes to you 06:46 and says, "I am just so depressed 06:48 all the time... I'm so sad... " 06:51 what would you tell that person to do? 06:54 You know, a Biblical Counselor is not a proof-texter 06:57 who says, "Here's a promise, go claim it until you feel good" 07:00 that's not the way the Bible is designed to work... 07:03 it's designed to go to the heart... 07:05 I know, any time anyone comes to me... with any issue 07:08 that they're struggling with, 07:09 they need a bigger and better picture of the character of God 07:13 so, I'm going to listen compassionately 07:15 and I'm going to help them understand... 07:17 how the Word of God... 07:18 how the character of God applies to their lives... 07:20 now that sounds really theoretical... so practically 07:22 if somebody comes to me struggling with depression... 07:25 I probably am first going to say, 07:27 "Have you gone to a Medical Doctor? 07:29 Have you gotten your B12, your Vitamin D... 07:31 your hormones, those kinds of things checked, 07:34 are you sleeping well at night, are you getting exercise, 07:36 how are you eating?" these are important things... 07:39 Yes... and they may have a huge effect 07:41 on a person's depression... 07:42 but I'm also going to look at, "What's going on in your heart?" 07:46 in other words, I'm going to be asking, 07:49 "When you're down... what are the things that ring 07:52 through your mind... over and over?" 07:53 because I know how the devil works... 07:55 he tells us lies about the character of God... 07:58 he tells us, "God is not love, and therefore we are not loved" 08:01 and a depressed person... 08:03 there's no sin in being depressed... 08:05 depression is a temptation... 08:07 Jesus was tempted in all points like as we are yet without sin 08:10 He was depressed in the Garden of Gethsemane... 08:12 He struggled... but He overcame because 08:16 He did not choose to believe His feelings... 08:18 he chose the Word of God instead... 08:20 a depressed person needs to know 08:22 how to believe the Word of God 08:24 instead of their feelings... depression is a temptation 08:27 it's a temptation to think unbiblically about God... 08:31 about ourselves... about the meaning of life... 08:34 Hmmm... so, I'm glad to hear you say that 08:37 you would ask the person have they seen a Medical Doctor 08:42 because sometimes it's a bio-chemical issue... 08:44 Right... that can't be remedied by 08:47 I won't say, "can't be remedied" 08:50 there needs to be some kind of bio-chemical modification... 08:55 Right... so I'm glad to hear you say that 08:57 but also, people need to know that there are... in addition to 09:04 the bio-medical issues... 09:05 everything has a spiritual component... 09:08 Yes... every situation has a spiritual 09:11 component... so I think it's really good 09:14 that you would have them look back at the Word 09:18 and see who God really is... and experience His love for them 09:24 So, depression is an invitation to think more deeply 09:29 about what God means in my life... 09:31 Hmmm... it's an invitation 09:34 to see how the Bible applies to my life... 09:38 when a person's depressed... 09:40 they're experiencing stronger temptation 09:42 to think lies about themselves 09:44 and the devil takes advantage of that... 09:46 he tells them, "You never do anything right... 09:48 you're not good enough, no one's ever going to love you" 09:52 Hmmm... hmmm... "you're not worth enough... " 09:54 whatever it is... the devil is going to strike 09:56 at the heart of the two cravings of every human heart 09:59 for love and for worth... we all long to be deeply loved 10:03 and we all long for a sense of worth... 10:06 these two things we have to get from God... 10:09 a sense that He is our creator, that's why He loves us, 10:13 He created us in His image, and He's our redeemer, 10:16 He redeemed us with His blood, 10:18 this is the measure of how much I'm loved... 10:21 and this is the measure of how much I'm worth... 10:23 if I cannot believe those things based on the Word of God, 10:26 I'm going to look to someone or something else 10:29 for my sense of love and worth and I will be powerless 10:33 to break away from my addiction to that thing or that person 10:36 because it's not really about that thing or that person... 10:39 it's about the fact that I was created as a worshipper 10:42 I'm going to worship whatever is my source of love 10:45 and worth... I can't help it... 10:47 That's right... we're wired that way... 10:50 Yes... we are wired to worship... 10:52 I like that title... don't take my title... 10:55 And God has designed us to worship... 10:58 that's why we can never have deeply rich and meaningful lives 11:01 without Him... as the source of our purpose, 11:04 our identity... Hmmm... hmmm... 11:06 we find our purpose in our identity 11:08 and He makes us feel loved and valued... 11:11 So, let's say you have someone that comes to you 11:15 that's in an abusive relationship, 11:18 what would you say to... 11:22 let's talk about domestic violence 11:24 a woman comes to you... her husband is coming home 11:28 and he's just beating her on a regular basis 11:31 how would you counsel her Biblically? 11:34 Well, I would evaluate first of all... 11:37 how willing is she to get out of this situation... 11:39 because her body is the temple of God... 11:41 and I fear for her life... but for me to forcibly remove 11:45 her from that situation, may not do any good... 11:48 she'll be back in a week... 11:49 or she'll find somebody else... even worse... 11:52 so, my goal is going to be... 11:54 not just to change her circumstances... 11:57 but to help the gospel change her heart... 12:00 and many people... they get in that situation 12:03 because they long for someone 12:04 to make them feel like they're worth something... 12:06 I'm not going to pull them out of that situation forcibly 12:09 unless they can shift their 12:11 sense of... what makes them valuable... 12:13 what makes them loved... to God instead... 12:15 so my first goal is going to be 12:17 to help her to allow the gospel to sink deeply into her heart 12:23 that she realizes... 12:24 "I am so loved by God... I'm worth so much... " 12:27 that journey out of an abuse situation... 12:30 is going to be hard... 12:32 she must rely on the love of God for her... 12:35 or she's going to go right back. 12:37 Hmmm... you have a history... a testimony... 12:42 would you share some of that with us... with our Viewers... 12:46 Sure... you know... I grew up in a Christian home 12:49 and in many ways everything was ideal... 12:52 my parents weren't aware that there was a relative 12:55 that was sexually abusing me, 12:56 and nobody knew what I was going through 13:00 no one knew about the terrible depression and anxiety 13:04 that I started going through as a teenager... 13:07 How old were you? I started... it especially got 13:10 very bad around the time I turned 14 or 15... 13:13 and I just wanted to die sometimes... 13:15 I kept on going to School... getting good grades 13:19 laughing with my friends, 13:20 nobody knew what I was going through... down inside... 13:23 but the anxiety became so severe that I would have panic attacks 13:27 if a man walked behind me... 13:29 if I went into a grocery store 13:31 aisle where there was a man standing, 13:32 a panic attack... I wouldn't be able to breathe 13:35 I would just, you know, want to curl up in a ball... 13:38 it was terrible... 13:39 so, I tried to manipulate my circumstances 13:43 to stay away from places where I would have a panic attack 13:46 and I kept telling myself lies 13:48 "You're just making it all up, 13:51 you're just making a big deal about nothing... " 13:54 but it was only when I was willing to finally find 13:57 my source of love and worth in God, 14:00 that He gave me the courage to tackle what I'd been through 14:03 and to be able to find true Biblical healing... 14:06 I don't deal with those things anymore... 14:08 the depression, the anxiety, you know, 14:10 temptations will come to me... 14:11 "How are you going to take care of that... 14:13 how are you going to afford that?" 14:15 but I can meet them with the promises of God's Word 14:18 Amen... and when temptation comes to me 14:20 to depression, you know, 14:22 "Nobody is ever going to love you anyway... 14:24 you're never going to do it well enough... 14:26 your house is never going to be clean enough... " 14:28 I recognize these temptations for what they are... 14:30 they are the devil's lies about me, 14:32 "You're not going to be worth enough" 14:34 Hmmm... "unless you have a perfect house 14:36 perfect children... perfect face... " 14:38 So, when you were going through 14:41 this whole period of sexual abuse, 14:45 were you afraid to tell your parents... 14:48 did you think they wouldn't believe you... 14:51 what do you think stopped you from telling your parents? 14:54 You know, he died when I was ten right after I accused him... 14:58 The abuser? The abuser did... 14:59 and I was just too young to process... 15:03 my parents were raising me out in the country 15:07 in a wonderful place in the woods and the fields, 15:10 they thought that nothing would possibly happen to me 15:13 because they knew I was only with safe people... 15:16 they never suspected that this relative would ever possibly 15:19 abuse me... it never entered their heads, 15:21 so they had never warned me, and never talked with me, 15:24 this is why, I talk with my children regularly 15:26 about "what would you do... " 15:27 "What if this person were to touch you in this way... 15:31 who would you tell... 15:33 what if mommy and daddy weren't there... " 15:34 because I want them to know 15:35 that they can always say, "No" to an adult... 15:38 because I never knew that I could say "no" to an adult... 15:41 I knew you were bad if you disobeyed a grown-up... 15:45 and so I had two competing moral systems telling me, 15:48 "You're bad if you tell, you're bad if you don't" 15:51 Hmmm... this is a very important point Nicole, 15:54 because children... you know that there must be 15:58 so much confusion going on... "I can't be disrespectful to 16:03 this adult... but yet something's going on here 16:06 that isn't right... " Right... 16:08 the two competing issues that is a great point... 16:12 that must be... where 16:13 so many children are... 16:15 that are going through abuse, "Do I tell?" 16:17 the other thing is... 16:19 it's so important to talk to your children 16:21 to make sure that you create a safe environment 16:25 in which they can come to you and say, 16:28 "Mom, somebody is touching me in the wrong place... " 16:32 or they can tell you that 16:34 because you have created an environment 16:37 that makes them comfortable to do that... 16:39 and you will believe them if they say, 16:41 "Mom, something is going on" Exactly... exactly... 16:44 I think that is such a healthy thing because... 16:47 and I did that with my boys coming up... 16:49 "Is anybody touching you" because I want to know 16:54 and I wanted them to feel comfortable telling me 16:58 that something was or wasn't... thankfully, it didn't... 17:01 but you still want to make sure that your children 17:04 feel comfortable enough to do that... 17:06 Sexual abuse doesn't have to destroy a person's life, 17:08 Hmmm... hmmm... 17:09 any kind of abuse doesn't have to... 17:12 the reason abuse is so damaging 17:14 is because it strikes at the root of our belief 17:17 in the character of God... 17:18 Hmmm... how so? 17:20 when a child is abused by say... 17:22 a person that is in a position position of trust 17:25 maybe a significant caregiver, a parent or something like that, 17:28 that person was responsible for showing this child 17:31 what God is like... all of us form our picture 17:34 of who God is... based on our significant 17:36 caregivers... that's why God makes us live in families 17:39 we don't just hatch out of eggs somewhere in the forest, 17:42 you know... He wants us to live in a relationship network 17:46 because relationships with others are how we learn about 17:48 our relationship with Him from our earliest years... 17:51 the problem is... there has never been a perfect parent 17:54 so every child is born into a situation... 17:58 where their significant caregivers 18:00 in some way are going to warp their picture of who God is 18:03 sometimes that's by abuse, sometimes it's by neglect, 18:06 sometimes their parents die... 18:07 you can't stop the fact that we live in a sinful, ugly world 18:11 bad things happen... 18:12 but that's kind of good news in a way 18:15 because that means God surely must have 18:17 a secondary system in place... 18:19 where He can restore our picture of who He is... 18:21 Hmmm... and that's what we have 18:23 in the Word of God... that's why I believe in 18:25 Biblical Counseling so strongly because 18:26 Biblical Counseling is speaking the gospel into people's lives 18:30 in areas that they need to understand His character better 18:34 and every Christian should be a Biblical Counselor 18:37 because Biblical Counseling is simply helping people 18:40 to apply the gospel to life... 18:41 So, do you have, with your ministry 18:45 do you have a system in place to train others... 18:50 let's talk about your ministry 18:52 and what it is and what you're doing with your husband. 18:55 Well, mostly, I'm a homeschooling mom... 18:58 raising my children... and then... 19:01 people have started asking us to speak in different places... 19:04 and do what we can... 19:06 to share the gospel with everyone... 19:08 so, I do personal counseling when I can... 19:11 but often, I'm just swamped with e- mails from people 19:14 all over the world... asking, 19:15 "How does the gospel apply to this situation, 19:17 in this situation, here's how I'm hurting... " 19:19 I just do the best I can... 19:21 I have to make sure that my children are taken care of... 19:24 my home is running as smoothly as possible... 19:27 and sometimes I'm counseling with people 19:30 while I'm folding laundry and doing ironing... 19:32 chopping vegetables You're multi-tasking... 19:35 It's the best I can do... I have to preach the gospel 19:37 anywhere because God has transformed my life... 19:40 I just can't tell you how wonderful it is... to be free... 19:43 from all of the pain and the darkness 19:46 that I used to go through, my heart goes out to any person 19:49 who is going through that... and I just want to go around... 19:51 unlocking people's shackles everywhere I go... 19:54 I don't enjoy speaking in public 19:57 I don't enjoy getting up in front and having people say, 20:01 "I have a question for you... " Oh dear, another one... 20:04 "Lord help me, I don't know what to say... " 20:07 but He always gives the answers 20:08 because the answers are always in His Word... 20:11 And that's the key... you know, that's the key... 20:14 Practical Christianity... how do we live out the gospel 20:19 that to me is what... this Network, Dare to Dream, 20:22 is about... Practical Christianity 20:24 3ABN... Practical Christianity because... 20:27 not only do we want to know the principles... 20:30 we want to know how to apply the principles... 20:32 and so, that's what you're saying that people come to you 20:36 to... not just find out what the principles are 20:39 but now, how do I apply them in my life... 20:41 Right... I can tell any person... 20:43 ahead of time... when they're coming in 20:45 I know if they're struggling with something serious 20:48 and they are wanting to get some Biblical Counseling on it... 20:51 chances are... what they're really struggling with 20:54 is some misperception of the character of God... 20:57 he doesn't feel like he's loved... 20:58 and particularly to a person who has been abused... 21:01 God doesn't feel loving... it feels like... 21:04 if He were really loving... 21:05 He would have stopped this from happening to me... 21:08 a person who is addicted, likewise, 21:10 has a very difficult time seeing God as a God of love 21:13 because if He were love... why would He want to have 21:17 anything to do with somebody like me? 21:19 you know... I'm disgusting... I'm despicable... 21:22 I do these things that I know I shouldn't do... 21:25 so, all of us... have these barriers in our minds 21:29 that make it harder for us to believe 21:30 that God is really who He says He is in His Word... 21:32 instead of who we feel like He is, 21:35 and who our circumstances seem to tell us... He is... 21:38 And if you haven't had a good father... 21:40 or if you've had a father who has abused you 21:44 or if you have a father who is angry and mean and unloving 21:49 you're going to subconsciously associate that kind of attitude 21:55 with God... That's right... 21:56 and so... what you're saying about 21:59 God's true character... and people understanding 22:04 who God really is... the Bible will show you 22:07 and you also... God will reveal Himself to you. 22:11 Yes, I often tell people... I liken our search for God... 22:16 to a sponge... that's being immersed 22:19 in a sink full of warm, soapy water... 22:22 Hmmm... and yet, it comes up dry... 22:25 Hmmm... over and over... 22:27 I talk with people... 22:29 I can't tell you how many people... I talk with 22:30 who come to me and say, "I'm trying to spend time 22:32 with God... I'm trying to pray and study the Bible... 22:35 but God feels so far away... " and in that situation... 22:38 I have to say, you know, 22:39 "You're like a sponge... being sunk into the sink full 22:42 of warm soapy water... " 22:43 it has to be warm and soapy... somehow that helps, right? 22:45 It sounds good though... 22:46 "and the sponge comes up dry every time... 22:49 because it's inside as a Ziploc bag" 22:50 Hmmm... 22:52 that's Ziploc bag is our misperception 22:55 of the character of God... 22:56 if I feel that every time I fall into my sin... 23:00 God is disgusted with me... 23:02 He doesn't see me as lovable or worthwhile anymore... 23:05 if I feel that about God... 23:06 I cannot come to Him with my addiction... 23:09 Hmmm... if I feel fundamentally 23:12 permanently disfigured by the fact that someone has sinned 23:15 against me... sexual abuse or any other kinds of abuse 23:18 it could be that "I never fit in at school... " 23:20 "no one ever told me that I was beautiful... " 23:22 whatever it is that I have... taken as the devil's lie... 23:25 about my lovability and my worth... 23:29 and accept it... 23:30 if I've drunk that poison in some way... 23:33 then I have a misconception about the character of God... 23:36 "maybe God would love me if" or "maybe people would love me if" 23:40 or "maybe I can be happier or fulfilled if... " 23:43 but God is not about helping us to somehow function 23:47 a little bit better in this world... 23:48 He wants to pierce that Ziploc bag around our hearts 23:52 and satisfy us... 23:53 with a deep sense of being loved and worthwhile... 23:57 I love that metaphor of the sponge in the warm, soapy water 24:02 I mean, really, because you just... with God... 24:04 you just want to just... absorb all of that goodness 24:08 and that richness and the love that He has... 24:11 you know... it's just... so, I love that metaphor... 24:14 It's a lifelong process you know Yeah... 24:16 it's so easy for us to get discouraged... 24:18 especially if we perceive that God demands perfection of us 24:21 and anything less than perfection... is failure... 24:24 Yes... so often, I deal with people 24:26 who are struggling with this and they say, 24:28 "I'm not acceptable to God... " in one way or another... 24:31 when it gets to the bottom of everything... 24:33 they feel... "God would love me... if... " 24:35 "God would value me if... " 24:37 It goes back to works... Yes... 24:40 "if I do this... God will love me... 24:42 but if I do that... He won't... " 24:44 and what has to be understood is... 24:46 "there is nothing that can separate us 24:49 from the love of God... " That's right, there's nothing... 24:51 nothing... nothing ever... 24:52 He doesn't stop loving you because you make a mistake 24:55 he doesn't stop loving you because you've fallen... 24:58 He loves us still... we don't... 25:00 we don't stop loving our kids because they make a mistake 25:03 Right... and so, how much more, 25:05 the Divine Parent... 25:06 But if a child has grown up with parents 25:09 who would only love them if... it's much harder for them 25:13 to see God as a God of love... Right... 25:14 that's why when somebody comes to me saying, 25:16 "I'm struggling with severe anxiety or depression... " 25:18 I'm going to talk with them about 25:20 "how is that manifesting in their life" 25:22 but I'm not going to leave it 25:23 at that... because I need to know... 25:24 "how has your picture of God... been warped... 25:27 has it been by your parents... was it been by a teacher, 25:30 was it by a pastor, was it by your circumstances" 25:33 whatever it is... in some way our picture of God is warped... 25:37 and therefore, we start feeling like, 25:39 "I'm not lovable, I'm not worthwhile unless... " 25:42 and then the devil will dangle that carrot in front of us 25:45 forever on a stick... "if you can just get rich enough 25:47 if you can get beautiful enough, 25:49 if you can just get popular enough, 25:51 then maybe you'll achieve 'worth' 25:53 then maybe you'll be lovable" 25:54 and it's an endless cycle into destruction... 25:59 we must find God... in the midst of everything... 26:02 Yes... these struggles that we have 26:05 they are God's invitations to our hearts... 26:07 Hmmm... When someone says, 26:08 "This is what I'm struggling with... 26:09 I crave this relationship with this person... 26:11 I cannot get away from her, 26:13 I don't know how to accept breakup... " 26:15 I'm not going to say, 26:16 "Well, here are 10 happy steps that will help you... " 26:19 this is not the problem... the problem is the heart... 26:22 this person is looking to that person to satisfy 26:26 what only God can satisfy... and times have broken us 26:29 are the ideal time for us to allow God 26:33 to pierce that Ziploc bag and satisfy us with Himself 26:36 because... He is the one who longs to show us 26:40 "You are so deeply loved... " and in the midst of these times 26:44 it's when someone says, 26:45 "This is what I'm struggling with" 26:46 I can say, "What lie are you hearing from the devil?" 26:50 Hmmm... and then... I can say, 26:52 "Now, let's find out in God's Word 26:54 what He says about you in this area... " 26:56 That's great... what is your website... 26:58 we'll put your website up... It's www. heartthirst. com 27:01 like a thirsty heart... www. heartthirst. com 27:06 yes... www. heartthirst. com 27:07 we have lots of resources there, 27:09 a lot of seminars that my husband and I have done 27:10 going over addiction, abuse, 27:13 how to build a deep, connecting relationship with God... 27:16 how to have healthy relationships with one another. 27:18 Well, we thank you so much for being with us... 27:21 Thank you... 27:22 Thank you so much for these tips 27:24 and I hope Audience... that you have been blessed 27:27 by what Nicole has been saying, study the Word for yourself 27:31 you know, God's goodness... is going to carry you through... 27:34 you just have to hold on to Him... 27:36 and study His Word... and watch your life change... 27:40 that's the key... if we stay connected... 27:43 the Bible says, "Abide in me... " 27:44 Jesus said in John 15... "Abide in me... 27:47 without me... you can't do anything... " 27:50 but with Jesus... all things are possible... 27:54 Well, that's the end of our Program for today... 27:57 thank you so much for tuning in... 27:58 join us next time... because you know what... 28:01 it just wouldn't be the same without you... |
Revised 2015-07-27