Urban Report

Biblical Counseling

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Yvonne Lewis (Host), Nicole Parker

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Series Code: UBR

Program Code: UBR000121A


00:01 Are you depressed... a victim of sexual abuse...
00:03 or do you have an addiction?
00:05 Well stay tuned because help is on the way...
00:07 My name is Yvonne Lewis and you're watching...
00:10 Urban Report...
00:34 Hello and welcome to Urban Report...
00:36 My guest today is Biblical Counselor,
00:38 Nicole Parker...
00:39 Welcome to Urban Report Nicole...
00:41 Thank you... it's great to be here...
00:43 Oh! it's great to have you here...
00:45 I found out about you from Mike Carducci
00:47 who's with 'Coming Out' Ministries...
00:50 he said, "You have to have Nicole Parker on your Program"
00:53 Mike is awesome...
00:54 He is... he is... I love them, they're such great guys...
00:57 so... and Danielle, you know,
00:59 they've added Danielle to the team...
01:01 it's just a wonderful team... and so, when I heard about you
01:04 I thought, "Okay, let me give you a call...
01:06 to see if you're available" and the Lord sent you today...
01:08 and we're really thankful... Praise the Lord...
01:11 So, let's talk a little bit about Biblical Counseling...
01:14 what's the difference between that and Christian Counseling?
01:16 Well you know... a lot of what's...
01:18 you could say that there are 3 different kinds
01:20 of counseling... there's Secular Counseling...
01:22 which says "You've got to find the answers outside of God"
01:26 there's Christian Counseling which is a spectrum of things
01:30 that largely says, "You're going to have to find
01:33 the answers... somewhere outside of God... "
01:36 and Biblical Counseling which says,
01:39 "All the answers are within the gospel... "
01:41 Hmmm... So, most Christian Counseling
01:44 follows a similar kind of approach...
01:47 that Secular Counseling does...
01:49 one of my friends recently told me
01:51 he was looking for a Counselor and so he interviewed someone
01:55 and said, "So, are you a Biblical Counsellor?"
01:57 and the man smiled and said,
01:58 "Well, I'm not going to proof-text you...
02:00 I can counsel anybody
02:02 from any sort of religious background...
02:04 using the techniques that I use"
02:06 well, as a Biblical Counselor, I have to disagree...
02:10 it's not that I can't counsel anyone
02:12 from any kind of background...
02:13 but I'm going to use the principles of the gospel
02:16 whether or not they yet understand Jesus Christ
02:19 as a personal savior or not...
02:21 the principles of the gospel are what cut to the heart
02:24 of what's going on in our world...
02:26 Right, so the Bible Counselor then...
02:29 always points the client back to the Bible...
02:34 and the principles there, and whereas the Christian Counselor
02:37 kind of... might use Biblical principles
02:41 but might also use some other principles from
02:44 other Secular Counseling world...
02:46 Right, and again, the Christian Counseling is a spectrum
02:49 there are many people who call themselves Christian Counselors,
02:51 but who are taking a more Biblical approach
02:54 they're saying, "This is where you're going to find healing
02:57 ultimately in God's Word... " but what's typically taught
03:01 to a person in a Counseling Curriculum
03:04 is more of a... "You have to let them find
03:06 the answers within themselves, you can't tell them the truth
03:10 you just have to listen well... and ultimately it's based on
03:14 humanistic pre-supposition... that the Counselee
03:17 has the answers deep within themselves,
03:20 where... the Bible tells us that our hearts are deceitful
03:24 and desperately wicked
03:25 how are we supposed to find the answers within ourselves?
03:27 So, if I counsel an adulterer... and I say,
03:31 "Well, what do you feel is the right answer for you
03:33 in this situation?" He may say,
03:34 "I feel like staying with my girlfriend
03:36 I don't want to be with my wife... "
03:38 Well, what can I say?
03:40 And I've been through a Christian Counseling Class
03:43 where... the teacher said, "Well, what should you do
03:45 if somebody comes to you considering abortion?"
03:48 And I said, "Well, I should tell them about the value
03:50 of this child's life in God's sight"
03:52 and the teacher stopped me and said,
03:53 "No, you can never do that...
03:55 you have to let them find the answers for themselves... "
03:58 and then later on in the class she said,
04:01 "Well, what do you do if someone comes to you
04:03 struggling with homosexuality?" and I said,
04:04 "Well, you have to show them what the Word of God says...
04:07 and show them compassionately God is not calling you
04:09 to a life of desolation and misery...
04:12 He's going to fulfill you... whether or not He fulfills you
04:16 in a marriage relationship
04:17 with a person of the opposite sex or not...
04:19 He can give you a deep and rich and living relationship
04:23 with Him" that's the same thing
04:24 I'm going to tell to the adulterer
04:26 but again... the Christian Counseling teacher said,
04:28 "No, you can't tell a person what's right or wrong
04:31 you must never tell them what you think is right or wrong
04:34 you have to let them find the answers within themselves... "
04:37 that's often what happens in a Christian Counseling atmosphere
04:40 You know Nicole, that's so similar to the whole
04:43 New Age idea... that God is within you
04:48 and that you go inside and all the mysticism,
04:52 Eastern mysticism and all that it's all about going inside
04:56 and tapping into that energy within...
04:59 and this is Secular Psychology as well...
05:02 Yes... You're tapping into that energy
05:05 within that self... it's about self...
05:09 and what Biblical Counseling...
05:11 I'm hearing you say is that it's outwardly directed
05:14 it's not inwardly directed but it's outwardly directed.
05:18 As a Biblical Counselor if somebody comes to me saying,
05:21 "I'm struggling with some marriage problems...
05:23 my husband and I can't communicate well...
05:25 he always wants this... I always want that...
05:27 I'm not going to sit there with him and say,
05:30 "All right, let's make a plan for how you guys can communicate
05:33 better... I'm going to make a list of 'her requirements'
05:37 'his requirements' now if you each agree
05:39 that you're going to do what the other person requires,
05:42 she's going to stop spending money all the time...
05:44 he's going to start coming home from work at 6 p. m. "
05:47 we're not going to get to the heart of things at all...
05:50 I can help people to communicate certainly it's useful learning
05:55 "Use 'I' messages... and take turns talking,
05:59 use reflective listening" those things aren't evil...
06:01 but what I can do...
06:03 without the gospel... the best I can do...
06:06 is help two sinners be able to live more peacefully
06:10 with one another without confronting the heart issues...
06:12 And that is key...
06:15 "Confronting the heart issues"
06:18 and looking at the root cause...
06:20 That's right...
06:22 going to the Word to find out the root cause
06:24 and then... strategies... because the Word will give you
06:27 "A soft answer turneth away wrath... "
06:29 I mean, the Word will give you strategies on how to deal with
06:33 different situations...
06:35 let's talk about different situations
06:38 that people find themselves in, such as depression...
06:42 if a client comes to you
06:46 and says, "I am just so depressed
06:48 all the time... I'm so sad... "
06:51 what would you tell that person to do?
06:54 You know, a Biblical Counselor is not a proof-texter
06:57 who says, "Here's a promise, go claim it until you feel good"
07:00 that's not the way the Bible is designed to work...
07:03 it's designed to go to the heart...
07:05 I know, any time anyone comes to me... with any issue
07:08 that they're struggling with,
07:09 they need a bigger and better picture of the character of God
07:13 so, I'm going to listen compassionately
07:15 and I'm going to help them understand...
07:17 how the Word of God...
07:18 how the character of God applies to their lives...
07:20 now that sounds really theoretical... so practically
07:22 if somebody comes to me struggling with depression...
07:25 I probably am first going to say,
07:27 "Have you gone to a Medical Doctor?
07:29 Have you gotten your B12, your Vitamin D...
07:31 your hormones, those kinds of things checked,
07:34 are you sleeping well at night, are you getting exercise,
07:36 how are you eating?" these are important things...
07:39 Yes... and they may have a huge effect
07:41 on a person's depression...
07:42 but I'm also going to look at, "What's going on in your heart?"
07:46 in other words, I'm going to be asking,
07:49 "When you're down... what are the things that ring
07:52 through your mind... over and over?"
07:53 because I know how the devil works...
07:55 he tells us lies about the character of God...
07:58 he tells us, "God is not love, and therefore we are not loved"
08:01 and a depressed person...
08:03 there's no sin in being depressed...
08:05 depression is a temptation...
08:07 Jesus was tempted in all points like as we are yet without sin
08:10 He was depressed in the Garden of Gethsemane...
08:12 He struggled... but He overcame because
08:16 He did not choose to believe His feelings...
08:18 he chose the Word of God instead...
08:20 a depressed person needs to know
08:22 how to believe the Word of God
08:24 instead of their feelings... depression is a temptation
08:27 it's a temptation to think unbiblically about God...
08:31 about ourselves... about the meaning of life...
08:34 Hmmm... so, I'm glad to hear you say that
08:37 you would ask the person have they seen a Medical Doctor
08:42 because sometimes it's a bio-chemical issue...
08:44 Right... that can't be remedied by
08:47 I won't say, "can't be remedied"
08:50 there needs to be some kind of bio-chemical modification...
08:55 Right... so I'm glad to hear you say that
08:57 but also, people need to know that there are... in addition to
09:04 the bio-medical issues...
09:05 everything has a spiritual component...
09:08 Yes... every situation has a spiritual
09:11 component... so I think it's really good
09:14 that you would have them look back at the Word
09:18 and see who God really is... and experience His love for them
09:24 So, depression is an invitation to think more deeply
09:29 about what God means in my life...
09:31 Hmmm... it's an invitation
09:34 to see how the Bible applies to my life...
09:38 when a person's depressed...
09:40 they're experiencing stronger temptation
09:42 to think lies about themselves
09:44 and the devil takes advantage of that...
09:46 he tells them, "You never do anything right...
09:48 you're not good enough, no one's ever going to love you"
09:52 Hmmm... hmmm... "you're not worth enough... "
09:54 whatever it is... the devil is going to strike
09:56 at the heart of the two cravings of every human heart
09:59 for love and for worth... we all long to be deeply loved
10:03 and we all long for a sense of worth...
10:06 these two things we have to get from God...
10:09 a sense that He is our creator, that's why He loves us,
10:13 He created us in His image, and He's our redeemer,
10:16 He redeemed us with His blood,
10:18 this is the measure of how much I'm loved...
10:21 and this is the measure of how much I'm worth...
10:23 if I cannot believe those things based on the Word of God,
10:26 I'm going to look to someone or something else
10:29 for my sense of love and worth and I will be powerless
10:33 to break away from my addiction to that thing or that person
10:36 because it's not really about that thing or that person...
10:39 it's about the fact that I was created as a worshipper
10:42 I'm going to worship whatever is my source of love
10:45 and worth... I can't help it...
10:47 That's right... we're wired that way...
10:50 Yes... we are wired to worship...
10:52 I like that title... don't take my title...
10:55 And God has designed us to worship...
10:58 that's why we can never have deeply rich and meaningful lives
11:01 without Him... as the source of our purpose,
11:04 our identity... Hmmm... hmmm...
11:06 we find our purpose in our identity
11:08 and He makes us feel loved and valued...
11:11 So, let's say you have someone that comes to you
11:15 that's in an abusive relationship,
11:18 what would you say to...
11:22 let's talk about domestic violence
11:24 a woman comes to you... her husband is coming home
11:28 and he's just beating her on a regular basis
11:31 how would you counsel her Biblically?
11:34 Well, I would evaluate first of all...
11:37 how willing is she to get out of this situation...
11:39 because her body is the temple of God...
11:41 and I fear for her life... but for me to forcibly remove
11:45 her from that situation, may not do any good...
11:48 she'll be back in a week...
11:49 or she'll find somebody else... even worse...
11:52 so, my goal is going to be...
11:54 not just to change her circumstances...
11:57 but to help the gospel change her heart...
12:00 and many people... they get in that situation
12:03 because they long for someone
12:04 to make them feel like they're worth something...
12:06 I'm not going to pull them out of that situation forcibly
12:09 unless they can shift their
12:11 sense of... what makes them valuable...
12:13 what makes them loved... to God instead...
12:15 so my first goal is going to be
12:17 to help her to allow the gospel to sink deeply into her heart
12:23 that she realizes...
12:24 "I am so loved by God... I'm worth so much... "
12:27 that journey out of an abuse situation...
12:30 is going to be hard...
12:32 she must rely on the love of God for her...
12:35 or she's going to go right back.
12:37 Hmmm... you have a history... a testimony...
12:42 would you share some of that with us... with our Viewers...
12:46 Sure... you know... I grew up in a Christian home
12:49 and in many ways everything was ideal...
12:52 my parents weren't aware that there was a relative
12:55 that was sexually abusing me,
12:56 and nobody knew what I was going through
13:00 no one knew about the terrible depression and anxiety
13:04 that I started going through as a teenager...
13:07 How old were you? I started... it especially got
13:10 very bad around the time I turned 14 or 15...
13:13 and I just wanted to die sometimes...
13:15 I kept on going to School... getting good grades
13:19 laughing with my friends,
13:20 nobody knew what I was going through... down inside...
13:23 but the anxiety became so severe that I would have panic attacks
13:27 if a man walked behind me...
13:29 if I went into a grocery store
13:31 aisle where there was a man standing,
13:32 a panic attack... I wouldn't be able to breathe
13:35 I would just, you know, want to curl up in a ball...
13:38 it was terrible...
13:39 so, I tried to manipulate my circumstances
13:43 to stay away from places where I would have a panic attack
13:46 and I kept telling myself lies
13:48 "You're just making it all up,
13:51 you're just making a big deal about nothing... "
13:54 but it was only when I was willing to finally find
13:57 my source of love and worth in God,
14:00 that He gave me the courage to tackle what I'd been through
14:03 and to be able to find true Biblical healing...
14:06 I don't deal with those things anymore...
14:08 the depression, the anxiety, you know,
14:10 temptations will come to me...
14:11 "How are you going to take care of that...
14:13 how are you going to afford that?"
14:15 but I can meet them with the promises of God's Word
14:18 Amen... and when temptation comes to me
14:20 to depression, you know,
14:22 "Nobody is ever going to love you anyway...
14:24 you're never going to do it well enough...
14:26 your house is never going to be clean enough... "
14:28 I recognize these temptations for what they are...
14:30 they are the devil's lies about me,
14:32 "You're not going to be worth enough"
14:34 Hmmm... "unless you have a perfect house
14:36 perfect children... perfect face... "
14:38 So, when you were going through
14:41 this whole period of sexual abuse,
14:45 were you afraid to tell your parents...
14:48 did you think they wouldn't believe you...
14:51 what do you think stopped you from telling your parents?
14:54 You know, he died when I was ten right after I accused him...
14:58 The abuser? The abuser did...
14:59 and I was just too young to process...
15:03 my parents were raising me out in the country
15:07 in a wonderful place in the woods and the fields,
15:10 they thought that nothing would possibly happen to me
15:13 because they knew I was only with safe people...
15:16 they never suspected that this relative would ever possibly
15:19 abuse me... it never entered their heads,
15:21 so they had never warned me, and never talked with me,
15:24 this is why, I talk with my children regularly
15:26 about "what would you do... "
15:27 "What if this person were to touch you in this way...
15:31 who would you tell...
15:33 what if mommy and daddy weren't there... "
15:34 because I want them to know
15:35 that they can always say, "No" to an adult...
15:38 because I never knew that I could say "no" to an adult...
15:41 I knew you were bad if you disobeyed a grown-up...
15:45 and so I had two competing moral systems telling me,
15:48 "You're bad if you tell, you're bad if you don't"
15:51 Hmmm... this is a very important point Nicole,
15:54 because children... you know that there must be
15:58 so much confusion going on... "I can't be disrespectful to
16:03 this adult... but yet something's going on here
16:06 that isn't right... " Right...
16:08 the two competing issues that is a great point...
16:12 that must be... where
16:13 so many children are...
16:15 that are going through abuse, "Do I tell?"
16:17 the other thing is...
16:19 it's so important to talk to your children
16:21 to make sure that you create a safe environment
16:25 in which they can come to you and say,
16:28 "Mom, somebody is touching me in the wrong place... "
16:32 or they can tell you that
16:34 because you have created an environment
16:37 that makes them comfortable to do that...
16:39 and you will believe them if they say,
16:41 "Mom, something is going on" Exactly... exactly...
16:44 I think that is such a healthy thing because...
16:47 and I did that with my boys coming up...
16:49 "Is anybody touching you" because I want to know
16:54 and I wanted them to feel comfortable telling me
16:58 that something was or wasn't... thankfully, it didn't...
17:01 but you still want to make sure that your children
17:04 feel comfortable enough to do that...
17:06 Sexual abuse doesn't have to destroy a person's life,
17:08 Hmmm... hmmm...
17:09 any kind of abuse doesn't have to...
17:12 the reason abuse is so damaging
17:14 is because it strikes at the root of our belief
17:17 in the character of God...
17:18 Hmmm... how so?
17:20 when a child is abused by say...
17:22 a person that is in a position position of trust
17:25 maybe a significant caregiver, a parent or something like that,
17:28 that person was responsible for showing this child
17:31 what God is like... all of us form our picture
17:34 of who God is... based on our significant
17:36 caregivers... that's why God makes us live in families
17:39 we don't just hatch out of eggs somewhere in the forest,
17:42 you know... He wants us to live in a relationship network
17:46 because relationships with others are how we learn about
17:48 our relationship with Him from our earliest years...
17:51 the problem is... there has never been a perfect parent
17:54 so every child is born into a situation...
17:58 where their significant caregivers
18:00 in some way are going to warp their picture of who God is
18:03 sometimes that's by abuse, sometimes it's by neglect,
18:06 sometimes their parents die...
18:07 you can't stop the fact that we live in a sinful, ugly world
18:11 bad things happen...
18:12 but that's kind of good news in a way
18:15 because that means God surely must have
18:17 a secondary system in place...
18:19 where He can restore our picture of who He is...
18:21 Hmmm... and that's what we have
18:23 in the Word of God... that's why I believe in
18:25 Biblical Counseling so strongly because
18:26 Biblical Counseling is speaking the gospel into people's lives
18:30 in areas that they need to understand His character better
18:34 and every Christian should be a Biblical Counselor
18:37 because Biblical Counseling is simply helping people
18:40 to apply the gospel to life...
18:41 So, do you have, with your ministry
18:45 do you have a system in place to train others...
18:50 let's talk about your ministry
18:52 and what it is and what you're doing with your husband.
18:55 Well, mostly, I'm a homeschooling mom...
18:58 raising my children... and then...
19:01 people have started asking us to speak in different places...
19:04 and do what we can...
19:06 to share the gospel with everyone...
19:08 so, I do personal counseling when I can...
19:11 but often, I'm just swamped with e- mails from people
19:14 all over the world... asking,
19:15 "How does the gospel apply to this situation,
19:17 in this situation, here's how I'm hurting... "
19:19 I just do the best I can...
19:21 I have to make sure that my children are taken care of...
19:24 my home is running as smoothly as possible...
19:27 and sometimes I'm counseling with people
19:30 while I'm folding laundry and doing ironing...
19:32 chopping vegetables You're multi-tasking...
19:35 It's the best I can do... I have to preach the gospel
19:37 anywhere because God has transformed my life...
19:40 I just can't tell you how wonderful it is... to be free...
19:43 from all of the pain and the darkness
19:46 that I used to go through, my heart goes out to any person
19:49 who is going through that... and I just want to go around...
19:51 unlocking people's shackles everywhere I go...
19:54 I don't enjoy speaking in public
19:57 I don't enjoy getting up in front and having people say,
20:01 "I have a question for you... " Oh dear, another one...
20:04 "Lord help me, I don't know what to say... "
20:07 but He always gives the answers
20:08 because the answers are always in His Word...
20:11 And that's the key... you know, that's the key...
20:14 Practical Christianity... how do we live out the gospel
20:19 that to me is what... this Network, Dare to Dream,
20:22 is about... Practical Christianity
20:24 3ABN... Practical Christianity because...
20:27 not only do we want to know the principles...
20:30 we want to know how to apply the principles...
20:32 and so, that's what you're saying that people come to you
20:36 to... not just find out what the principles are
20:39 but now, how do I apply them in my life...
20:41 Right... I can tell any person...
20:43 ahead of time... when they're coming in
20:45 I know if they're struggling with something serious
20:48 and they are wanting to get some Biblical Counseling on it...
20:51 chances are... what they're really struggling with
20:54 is some misperception of the character of God...
20:57 he doesn't feel like he's loved...
20:58 and particularly to a person who has been abused...
21:01 God doesn't feel loving... it feels like...
21:04 if He were really loving...
21:05 He would have stopped this from happening to me...
21:08 a person who is addicted, likewise,
21:10 has a very difficult time seeing God as a God of love
21:13 because if He were love... why would He want to have
21:17 anything to do with somebody like me?
21:19 you know... I'm disgusting... I'm despicable...
21:22 I do these things that I know I shouldn't do...
21:25 so, all of us... have these barriers in our minds
21:29 that make it harder for us to believe
21:30 that God is really who He says He is in His Word...
21:32 instead of who we feel like He is,
21:35 and who our circumstances seem to tell us... He is...
21:38 And if you haven't had a good father...
21:40 or if you've had a father who has abused you
21:44 or if you have a father who is angry and mean and unloving
21:49 you're going to subconsciously associate that kind of attitude
21:55 with God... That's right...
21:56 and so... what you're saying about
21:59 God's true character... and people understanding
22:04 who God really is... the Bible will show you
22:07 and you also... God will reveal Himself to you.
22:11 Yes, I often tell people... I liken our search for God...
22:16 to a sponge... that's being immersed
22:19 in a sink full of warm, soapy water...
22:22 Hmmm... and yet, it comes up dry...
22:25 Hmmm... over and over...
22:27 I talk with people...
22:29 I can't tell you how many people... I talk with
22:30 who come to me and say, "I'm trying to spend time
22:32 with God... I'm trying to pray and study the Bible...
22:35 but God feels so far away... " and in that situation...
22:38 I have to say, you know,
22:39 "You're like a sponge... being sunk into the sink full
22:42 of warm soapy water... "
22:43 it has to be warm and soapy... somehow that helps, right?
22:45 It sounds good though...
22:46 "and the sponge comes up dry every time...
22:49 because it's inside as a Ziploc bag"
22:50 Hmmm...
22:52 that's Ziploc bag is our misperception
22:55 of the character of God...
22:56 if I feel that every time I fall into my sin...
23:00 God is disgusted with me...
23:02 He doesn't see me as lovable or worthwhile anymore...
23:05 if I feel that about God...
23:06 I cannot come to Him with my addiction...
23:09 Hmmm... if I feel fundamentally
23:12 permanently disfigured by the fact that someone has sinned
23:15 against me... sexual abuse or any other kinds of abuse
23:18 it could be that "I never fit in at school... "
23:20 "no one ever told me that I was beautiful... "
23:22 whatever it is that I have... taken as the devil's lie...
23:25 about my lovability and my worth...
23:29 and accept it...
23:30 if I've drunk that poison in some way...
23:33 then I have a misconception about the character of God...
23:36 "maybe God would love me if" or "maybe people would love me if"
23:40 or "maybe I can be happier or fulfilled if... "
23:43 but God is not about helping us to somehow function
23:47 a little bit better in this world...
23:48 He wants to pierce that Ziploc bag around our hearts
23:52 and satisfy us...
23:53 with a deep sense of being loved and worthwhile...
23:57 I love that metaphor of the sponge in the warm, soapy water
24:02 I mean, really, because you just... with God...
24:04 you just want to just... absorb all of that goodness
24:08 and that richness and the love that He has...
24:11 you know... it's just... so, I love that metaphor...
24:14 It's a lifelong process you know Yeah...
24:16 it's so easy for us to get discouraged...
24:18 especially if we perceive that God demands perfection of us
24:21 and anything less than perfection... is failure...
24:24 Yes... so often, I deal with people
24:26 who are struggling with this and they say,
24:28 "I'm not acceptable to God... " in one way or another...
24:31 when it gets to the bottom of everything...
24:33 they feel... "God would love me... if... "
24:35 "God would value me if... "
24:37 It goes back to works... Yes...
24:40 "if I do this... God will love me...
24:42 but if I do that... He won't... "
24:44 and what has to be understood is...
24:46 "there is nothing that can separate us
24:49 from the love of God... " That's right, there's nothing...
24:51 nothing... nothing ever...
24:52 He doesn't stop loving you because you make a mistake
24:55 he doesn't stop loving you because you've fallen...
24:58 He loves us still... we don't...
25:00 we don't stop loving our kids because they make a mistake
25:03 Right... and so, how much more,
25:05 the Divine Parent...
25:06 But if a child has grown up with parents
25:09 who would only love them if... it's much harder for them
25:13 to see God as a God of love... Right...
25:14 that's why when somebody comes to me saying,
25:16 "I'm struggling with severe anxiety or depression... "
25:18 I'm going to talk with them about
25:20 "how is that manifesting in their life"
25:22 but I'm not going to leave it
25:23 at that... because I need to know...
25:24 "how has your picture of God... been warped...
25:27 has it been by your parents... was it been by a teacher,
25:30 was it by a pastor, was it by your circumstances"
25:33 whatever it is... in some way our picture of God is warped...
25:37 and therefore, we start feeling like,
25:39 "I'm not lovable, I'm not worthwhile unless... "
25:42 and then the devil will dangle that carrot in front of us
25:45 forever on a stick... "if you can just get rich enough
25:47 if you can get beautiful enough,
25:49 if you can just get popular enough,
25:51 then maybe you'll achieve 'worth'
25:53 then maybe you'll be lovable"
25:54 and it's an endless cycle into destruction...
25:59 we must find God... in the midst of everything...
26:02 Yes... these struggles that we have
26:05 they are God's invitations to our hearts...
26:07 Hmmm... When someone says,
26:08 "This is what I'm struggling with...
26:09 I crave this relationship with this person...
26:11 I cannot get away from her,
26:13 I don't know how to accept breakup... "
26:15 I'm not going to say,
26:16 "Well, here are 10 happy steps that will help you... "
26:19 this is not the problem... the problem is the heart...
26:22 this person is looking to that person to satisfy
26:26 what only God can satisfy... and times have broken us
26:29 are the ideal time for us to allow God
26:33 to pierce that Ziploc bag and satisfy us with Himself
26:36 because... He is the one who longs to show us
26:40 "You are so deeply loved... " and in the midst of these times
26:44 it's when someone says,
26:45 "This is what I'm struggling with"
26:46 I can say, "What lie are you hearing from the devil?"
26:50 Hmmm... and then... I can say,
26:52 "Now, let's find out in God's Word
26:54 what He says about you in this area... "
26:56 That's great... what is your website...
26:58 we'll put your website up... It's www. heartthirst. com
27:01 like a thirsty heart... www. heartthirst. com
27:06 yes... www. heartthirst. com
27:07 we have lots of resources there,
27:09 a lot of seminars that my husband and I have done
27:10 going over addiction, abuse,
27:13 how to build a deep, connecting relationship with God...
27:16 how to have healthy relationships with one another.
27:18 Well, we thank you so much for being with us...
27:21 Thank you...
27:22 Thank you so much for these tips
27:24 and I hope Audience... that you have been blessed
27:27 by what Nicole has been saying, study the Word for yourself
27:31 you know, God's goodness... is going to carry you through...
27:34 you just have to hold on to Him...
27:36 and study His Word... and watch your life change...
27:40 that's the key... if we stay connected...
27:43 the Bible says, "Abide in me... "
27:44 Jesus said in John 15... "Abide in me...
27:47 without me... you can't do anything... "
27:50 but with Jesus... all things are possible...
27:54 Well, that's the end of our Program for today...
27:57 thank you so much for tuning in...
27:58 join us next time... because you know what...
28:01 it just wouldn't be the same without you...


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Revised 2015-07-27