Participants: Jason Bradley (Host), Yvonne Lewis (Host), Pr. Edward & Xinia Bryan
Series Code: UBR
Program Code: UBR000163A
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00:01 Stay tuned to meet a couple
00:02 that was walking on the dark side 00:04 and decided to give God a chance. 00:05 My name is Yvonne Lewis 00:07 and I'm Jason Bradley 00:09 and you're watching Urban Report. 00:32 Hello and welcome to a special one-hour edition 00:35 of Urban Report, our guests today are 00:38 Pastor and Mrs. Edward Bryan, 00:40 a couple whose testimony is riveting 00:43 we first met Pastor Bryan here at 3abn 00:46 when he came and did an interview 00:48 with our sister network, 3abn Latino, 00:51 he sat in our office and shared his testimony 00:53 with Jason and me, 00:55 and then he told us that his wife had a great testimony 00:59 as well, so we knew we had to have them on Urban Report 01:02 and I'm glad Jason is here too with me. 01:05 Thank you. Good to have you Jay. 01:07 Welcome to the show 01:09 welcome Pastor and Xinia Bryan. 01:11 Thank you. Thank you for the invitation. 01:13 Absolutely, we are just so anxious to find out about 01:19 how God has led you 01:21 all this way to where you are now. 01:25 So let's start with Xinia because... let's just... 01:29 we'll kind of go back and forth 01:30 and find out about your backgrounds. 01:32 Ladies first. 01:33 Ladies first... I was thinking the same thing. 01:35 Were you? Where were you raised, Xinia? 01:38 I was raised in El Salvador. 01:41 Oh... and when did you come to the States? 01:45 I came back when I was... I say, "came back" because 01:48 I was born in New York and at age 4 01:51 my parents moved to El Salvador 01:53 so I lived there for ten years and came back when I was 14. 01:59 Oh, so you didn't have any real recollection of America... 02:04 No, not at all, I didn't speak the language, 02:07 and I'm still struggling. 02:08 Oh, you're speaking well. Thank you. 02:10 Your English is a lot better than my Spanish. 02:13 Thank you. 02:15 So, what kind of family did you grow up in? 02:19 I grew up with my dad, he is an Adventist 02:23 and he separated from my mom so I was raised by him 02:28 in an Adventist home. 02:30 And was your mom a part of your life or was she... 02:33 she was when I came back to the United States 02:36 I moved with her, she was living in Atlanta, 02:39 well, she still lives in Atlanta, 02:41 so I moved and lived with her and stayed with her for a year. 02:44 What was it like being raised by your dad without your mom? 02:48 It was hard growing up without mom 02:50 but I didn't really realize that until I became a mom. 02:55 Hmmm... that's interesting so as you were... 02:58 from 4 to 14, your mom wasn't around. 03:01 No, she wasn't. 03:03 With her absence, you were missing that nurturing side, 03:07 was your father nurturing at all? 03:09 My dad was... he tried, you know, 03:11 he was very nurturing, but he was very strict sometimes 03:15 well, a lot of times, so that's when you go back 03:19 I guess with your mom 03:21 when your dad is the one who... 03:24 Yeah, he disciplined you. 03:26 He was very... yeah... he disciplined... 03:28 Were you an only child, 03:30 did you have brothers and sisters? 03:31 No, I have a big family, 03:33 with my mom and dad, we are four, 03:35 but my mom had children before that 03:38 and my dad got married again so he had four more children 03:42 so, we are a very big family. 03:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah, 03:46 what about you, where did you grow up? 03:48 Well, I grew up in... I was born in Miami, Florida, 03:51 my family is from Colombia, South America, 03:54 I was raised with my mother, 03:57 initially with my father and my two brothers, 04:00 when I was about three or four years old, 04:03 my father became a fugitive and had some issues, 04:07 he had to take off, he went to New York City. 04:10 And he left the family. 04:12 Yeah, so, we were pretty much, 04:15 me and my two brothers, my mother, 04:17 but we had a lot of my father's side of the family, 04:19 now my father's side of the family 04:21 we're really close with them to this day 04:23 but they, you know, I would say, 04:27 almost kind of typical Hispanic family, 04:30 and we also have some islander family 04:32 so they are big partyers and all of that 04:35 so it was a much different environment 04:37 because my mother had gotten converted 04:39 just before I was born, so she became an Adventist 04:42 and she took her Christianity very seriously 04:44 but everybody around us was kind of wild... 04:47 so she left... Miami wasn't the best place in the '80s 04:51 she left, she took us to Atlanta, Georgia, 04:54 which in early '90s, Atlanta, Georgia, 04:56 I don't know how much of an upgrade 04:58 you're going to get lifestyle-wise, 05:01 but we moved over there 05:03 and I grew up going to church as a kid, 05:09 my mother sacrificed in all ends 05:12 to put us into Christian Schools and everything, 05:14 so I really enjoyed my childhood and I hate to say 05:18 I didn't appreciate it though as much as I should have 05:22 I started making bad decisions around 10 years old, 05:25 listening to wrong music, watching the wrong things 05:29 hanging out with the wrong people 05:31 cussing, got into stealing and things like that, 05:38 and things kind of just escalated. 05:40 How did your father leaving... how did that affect you 05:46 back then when you were growing up 05:48 like... how did his absence affect you? 05:51 Well, his absence affected me in that, 05:54 I didn't understand why it was, 05:56 I didn't find out till later on in life 05:58 what the reason was, so, as a kid you just kind of... 06:00 you hear the excuses or the reasons 06:05 that your parents give you trying to soften the blow, 06:08 but as a kid, you're just thinking, 06:10 "He just doesn't want to be around me, 06:12 he doesn't like... he doesn't love me or something" 06:14 but then, when I moved to Atlanta living in... 06:18 living in apartments most of your friends, 06:21 most of my friends in my apartments were African American 06:24 and unfortunately, most of them 06:27 were growing up without the father figure. 06:29 You get to a point where you just... kind of like... 06:33 "What? who needs him?" 06:34 and also you're buying into all the local culture stuff 06:41 which is telling you, you know what I mean, 06:43 to just run around, 06:45 run wild, and it's easy to do that 06:48 without a father figure to sit there and discipline you 06:50 and teach you how to be a man, 06:52 and embracing all the wrong ideas of 06:54 what it means to be a man, 06:56 so those ideas are, "Well, if I fight, if I don't cry, 07:00 if I get into sexual activity, I'm a man" 07:04 so those are the values that I embraced, 07:08 so life started just kind of spiraling real early, 07:11 and I think by 12 years old, things kind of just hit the fan 07:14 because I decided at that point, 07:16 to start getting to selling drugs and things of that nature. 07:19 It's interesting to me how you all have a similar background 07:22 both of you were missing a parent, 07:26 for you, it was your father, who you needed, 07:29 but for you, you had your dad 07:30 but you really needed your mom that nurturing... 07:33 and you needed your dad to teach you how to be a man 07:37 I think that's... what you're saying is very true, 07:42 I mean, Society places value on all the wrong things 07:46 on how to become a man, 07:48 how many women can you sleep with, whatever, 07:51 then you're more of a man in Society's eyes, 07:54 you know, whatever, however you make your money 07:58 then you're a man, they glorify the drug dealing 08:01 and all that stuff, 08:03 and so I think that's very interesting 08:05 that you two have that similar background. 08:08 I think you took the words right out of my mouth... 08:10 that's a really good observation Jay, 08:12 Well, thank you, praise the Lord. 08:14 Because it's interesting as I listen to both of you 08:18 and hear that, you know, 08:21 the same gender parent was missing 08:24 from the home so you would have to kind of 08:27 get your answers on how to develop into womanhood 08:31 or manhood either from your peers 08:34 or from the other parent 08:37 but not from the parent that you needed... to be there. 08:40 Absolutely. 08:41 So, Xinia, back to you, 08:43 did you have a spiritual base, 08:47 was your dad spiritual in the home? 08:50 He was, he was very spiritual 08:52 and we went to a Christian school, 08:55 Adventist School, my whole life 08:58 until I came back to the United States 09:00 and lived with my mom, I was going to start high school 09:03 so I had to go to a Public School 09:05 that's when everything changed in my life. 09:07 What happened? 09:09 Well, I started hanging out with the wrong people 09:11 our school had a lot of gang members, 09:14 Atlanta... back then was starting the gang stuff 09:18 so I kind of became, I guess, a part of the gang, 09:21 it was called Latin Queens, so I was part of that 09:24 and just started hanging with the wrong people 09:27 going to parties and I started using drugs and alcohol 09:31 and all that stuff. 09:32 And how old were you at that time? 09:34 I was 15 almost 16 when that started, yeah. 09:41 What was your draw to the gang, 09:43 like what... I often wonder like... 09:45 why do people join gangs, 09:47 was it because you were seeking acceptance 09:50 or you just... 09:52 Yeah, that's part of it, you want to be accepted 09:55 then... in my case, I was trying to figure it out 09:58 who I was and going to church... 10:02 it was tough because I didn't speak the language 10:04 and I didn't feel welcomed 10:06 so, in the school, it was different, 10:08 they embraced me 10:10 so I felt like I was welcomed there 10:12 and of course, that was Satan's way to let me feel 10:16 that I was accepted with them, no... church is not the same, 10:21 so I felt more welcomed with the gang members I guess 10:25 and just started doing whatever they do... you know. 10:30 One of the things that... I was watching a program 10:35 it's been a while but I was watching a program about gangs 10:39 and I was really impressed with how organized things were 10:43 it wasn't just haphazard, 10:45 like... you do this, you do this, you do that, 10:47 they had a book, they had... 10:49 it was like... it was so organized, 10:53 was this your reality with the gang that you were in 10:57 were they very organized, very structured 10:59 or was it just like a little neighborhood deal where 11:03 people just did 11:05 what the person above them told them to do? 11:07 It wasn't that organized, I guess, 11:10 but it was more like a family 11:12 and everyone protects each other 11:15 and you feel part of a family 11:17 and you will fight for that family, 11:19 you'll think... that's your family 11:21 and you even think that 11:24 that it is even better than your own blood so you defend them. 11:29 So you got closer to the gang than to your biological family. 11:34 Very close, oh yeah, definitely, that was in my head... my family 11:38 you know, yeah. 11:39 How did you get away from it? 11:42 Well, I got pregnant at 17 11:45 and that's when everything started changing in my life, 11:48 I became a mother at a young age 11:51 so I had to drop out of school and try to survive 11:57 because I didn't have a support 11:58 from the person who I was going out with at that time, 12:04 and that kind of left me out of the gang for a moment, 12:09 but I don't know, I started doing other stuff 12:14 not with the gang, but I still had my addictions 12:18 so I was partying more and doing other stuff. 12:21 Once you became a parent? 12:23 Once I became a mom, yeah. 12:25 Interestingly enough, 12:28 the gang.. do they kind of leave you alone 12:32 while you were pregnant, did they... 12:35 No, no, no, no, most of the time 12:37 my house was full of people partying all the time, 12:40 my child grew up, kind of, in that environment, 12:43 and I tried to avoid them 12:46 but they are always following you no matter what... 12:51 they feel like they are allowed to be in your life. 12:55 But they... everybody started going to jail or some died, 13:01 some got killed so and then you started growing up 13:04 and everything... like... flows away... 13:07 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so there was a big shift 13:11 in who is there, who is still around, and what... 13:16 so what was life like as a young mother 13:20 without any preparation for motherhood? 13:23 Oh wow! it was really bad, it was tough for me because 13:28 I became homeless when I had my child, 13:31 I didn't have a place to go, I got out of the hospital 13:34 without... not knowing where to go 13:36 and I remember calling my sister and saying, 13:39 "Hey, I don't know where to go, can you pick me up?" 13:42 And she's like, "Well, you can stay here" 13:43 but because of my background nobody opened the door for me 13:48 so I was back... one house one day, 13:51 one week in one house, that was for a whole six months. 13:54 With the baby? With the baby... 13:56 I still didn't know how she survived 13:58 I mean, I know God protected her... 13:59 but I don't remember how I bought diapers, 14:02 I don't remember how I bought her food 14:05 because I never looked for help 14:08 at that time, 14:10 and I was always in another world, drinking or partying, 14:15 so, I mean, God protected that child... 14:17 that's all I can say. 14:19 Yeah, yes... it's amazing isn't it how God knows 14:22 where we're going to be, He knows where we are, 14:26 but He also knows where we're going to be 14:28 and He sets things in motion, 14:30 to kind of orchestrate your steps 14:33 even though you don't even realize 14:35 that He's there with you. Hmmm... hmmm... 14:39 So this is about 17 now, you're about 17? 14:43 Yeah, turning 18... 14:44 And you're a mom, and you were homeless, 14:47 how did you... 14:48 where did you go finally, what did you do? 14:50 Finally I found a job 14:52 and then I started making 14:55 enough money to survive 14:58 and I got my own apartment and then I got my own car 15:02 and so... things kind of changed 15:04 life became more stable with working. 15:07 Where were you in your spiritual walk, at that point? 15:12 Oh, I didn't even think about it, 15:14 I mean, in my head, I loved the Lord, 15:17 but sometimes I would go to church back then, 15:21 and when my child grew up, 15:25 maybe when she was around five or six years old 15:27 I started going to church again every Sabbath 15:30 but I would go, you know, after partying the night before 15:35 with a big hangover 15:37 and sometimes they were almost done, 15:40 but I wanted to go, because to me, 15:42 that was some kind of peacefulness 15:46 in my life at that moment. 15:47 Yes, yes, well that's an interesting chunk of your life 15:55 right there, how you went from 15:57 being raised by your dad, then you came back to the States 16:02 when you came back where you with your mom 16:04 or no... when you came back? 16:05 Yes. At fourteen, 16:07 so then you went from being in your dad's home 16:09 to living in your mom's home so you had that transition, 16:11 then you had the gangs, then you had parenthood. 16:15 Yeah, hmmm... hmmm... 16:16 That's... and you weren't ready to be a mom 16:18 because you were a kid yourself, 16:21 so all of those things led you to another point 16:25 and we'll come back to that, what about you? 16:28 Okay, well, I was in Atlanta, Georgia, like I said, 16:32 and I was being brought up in the church by my mother 16:35 to her, that was like the refuge, a safe haven, 16:38 trying to keep us somewhere safe 16:41 and off the streets and what not... so it was 16:44 there were times that... if the doors were open, 16:46 she had us in there, and when I was a kid, 16:48 that was Atlanta First Hispanic 16:50 which was on Hillstreet in Atlanta 16:53 and so... interesting thing is that 16:57 that's the same church where... 16:58 where when she came... 17:00 she wound up but since she... the culture was so different 17:04 I don't even remember ever seeing her there 17:06 I didn't even meet her for another 11 to 12 years, 17:08 but I don't ever remember seeing her 17:11 she just felt kind of like shunned 17:13 by... say by the youth there, 17:15 where myself... I had all my friends there 17:17 but unfortunately that happens in many environments, 17:21 in many church environments you know, 17:22 people gravitate towards, 17:23 sometimes gravitate towards the bad 17:25 and so, you know, I was getting into mischief and 17:28 what not and anyways... say about like... 12 years old 17:33 I started making some really bad decisions 17:35 starting having... 17:37 running more with friends from the neighborhood 17:39 kind of getting away from church stuff 17:41 and even church friends 17:42 except the ones who I really corrupted 17:44 and got into selling drugs. At 12? 17:47 At 12... I had experimented with smoking 17:50 and with drinking, so I mean with... 17:53 but hadn't touched the drug yet up until that point, 17:56 within about a month or so from that, 17:58 I was doing... now I was doing drugs daily 18:02 and drinking daily and smoking daily and 18:05 by the time I turned 13, I have to say I was 18:09 kind of a full-blown addict 18:10 because it was something I did everyday 18:12 religiously all night, while my mother worked 18:16 multiple jobs struggling... trying to keep food on the table 18:19 How did you hide that from your mother 18:21 at 12 or 13... living at the house like... 18:24 how did you keep that from her 18:25 and how long did that last before she found out? 18:27 Yeah, that's an interesting thing because 18:30 I think that she had to work so much 18:33 that I didn't have to put that much effort, 18:37 and she was such a Christian mother, 18:39 such a Christian woman, I mean, she loved God, 18:41 she gave me a great example but having to work so much 18:44 it didn't make it difficult to.. to hide it 18:47 because she was too busy trying to put food on the table 18:50 and give us a Christian education 18:52 but then like... at night... I'd try to beat it to the house, 18:57 I literally even had a spot in the apartment 18:58 so that I could see the headlights 18:59 and I'd recognize the headlights and I'd phew... I'd take off, 19:03 I would just break out from 19:04 from the set of friends whoever I was with 19:06 and beat it to the house so that I could change my clothes 19:08 because they reeked of... you know... 19:09 of Marijuana and I'd smell of alcohol and I'd jump into the 19:12 maybe even jump into the shower, get out 19:15 see her just long enough to let her hit the bed 19:18 and then I'd open up the window, jump out, 19:20 and be back out in the street, 19:22 so it was like that and like all sin, 19:27 it kind of increases... got into other things 19:31 like pornography, addiction stuff like that 19:35 and I got into a lot of fights and things but also 19:36 where I used to steal a lot of things 19:39 I got to breaking into houses with friends 19:41 and so, I got to a point where most of my friends 19:44 were either selling drugs or in gangs themselves. 19:48 Did you ever join a gang? 19:49 I didn't join a gang. 19:50 How did you manage to stay out of one? 19:54 The reason is this because one of my best friends... 19:57 one of my best friends wanted to be in a gang 20:01 called La Gran Familia and they were actually very organized 20:05 but I got into selling firearms, selling guns, you know, 20:09 I started playing with guns, having guns from the age of 12 20:13 to where I wanted to start selling drugs out 20:15 I would have firearms but then... 20:17 I had some friends who I really had strong connections with 20:20 people who sold guns and firearms 20:22 so, I started selling those as well 20:24 but I was selling to people who were rival gang members 20:28 and things like that and then... 20:30 and in selling drugs also 20:31 I tried to stay as neutral as possible 20:34 for that very reason and I also loved parties 20:39 so I would go to parties and I would go to night clubs 20:42 even at a very young age, and they'd be like 20:46 group... a big group over here, another clique over here 20:49 and I had people who I was selling to 20:53 or selling firearms to or something 20:56 and who I was really close with on both sides 20:59 and I was... I'm not... I'm going to try to prevent that 21:02 so I prevented it, later on in life 21:04 you had to pick more of an allegiance 21:07 so later on in life these things got... kind of hectic 21:11 I found myself more gravitating towards one 21:14 but never actually got in it and I was seeing them die, 21:16 I had a lot of friends that would just... 21:18 that were dying off like roaches, 21:19 and also going to prison very regularly. 21:23 The interesting thing to me is... 21:25 if you look at some of these people that are in these gangs 21:28 or some of the people that are selling drugs, 21:30 they're making horrible choices 21:33 but they're really, really smart and intelligent 21:36 and if they would channel that energy into something else, 21:40 they could be CEOs of Fortune 500 Companies 21:44 I mean you got some people that are really good with money 21:47 and really organized... like 21:50 they'd set up that infrastructure 21:51 and everything like that, 21:53 and they have great leadership skills, 21:55 but it's all in the wrong direction. 21:58 Absolutely, and even it's interesting to think of 22:01 I think of a lot of the young people who were in church 22:03 even when I was young, and leave... 22:06 and some joined gangs 22:08 some got into the clubbing industry 22:11 or some got into other things selling drugs and things and... 22:14 and most seem to be very good but it's like God gave 22:17 individuals gifts and talents 22:19 but the devil somehow coerced us to utilize it for bad 22:24 rather than utilizing it for God's cause 22:26 and I think, how influential... 22:29 some of my friends were very influential 22:31 and see... I mean... I got one friend who... 22:34 he left the church and he wound up having nightclubs 22:38 owning nightclubs and stuff by his early 20s 22:42 making 10, 20, 30,000 dollars a night 22:45 and I just think, 22:47 "Wow! that could have been like the next big... 22:50 he could have been the next big Evangelist" 22:51 but the devil has his way of 22:53 luring us away from God you know. 22:55 Yeah, and he baits us with material things 23:00 so you think that, "Oh, this is going to be great, 23:03 I'm going to make a lot of money" 23:04 then you find out as you begin to make that money, 23:07 you're just spiraling downward I mean, 23:10 you have no joy, you have no peace, 23:13 it's just... you don't have any of that 23:16 I look at some of the Rappers that are on... hip hop guys 23:20 these moguls and I never see them look happy 23:23 they always look miserable 23:26 and some of the things that they have to do 23:29 to become household names, are unspeakable. 23:32 I mean, really, they cross certain lines 23:35 to do that and so you see 23:38 just how Satan works, he just baits you 23:40 and then his... 23:42 his whole goal is to destroy us that's his whole goal, 23:46 he'll take the gifts that God has given 23:49 and just make you spiral downwards... 23:52 I heard a sermon, there was a sermon one time 23:54 where a pastor was talking about how Satan works 23:56 and how he leads you inch by inch 23:59 in the wrong direction away from God 24:01 and then, before you know it, you're over here 24:04 and you feel like it's impossible 24:06 for you to get back to God. 24:08 Absolutely. Yes. 24:10 It's interesting when you say, talking... say about rappers 24:13 I think about the fact, I remember being 15 years old 24:16 and getting high with one of my favorite rappers 24:18 and I remember 24:21 as I got older 24:23 I had a cousin who sold a lot of drugs 24:25 and I had one of my closest friends 24:27 once again, who is in this big gang 24:28 and they sold a lot of drugs, and we'd go out 24:30 and we would party 24:31 and spend hundreds and thousands of dollars 24:34 in a night, but in that same night, 24:37 there might be a shoot-out 24:39 in that same night you wonder 24:43 whether you're going to make it home alive 24:44 because... who might be trailing you 24:46 people saw you showing off 24:48 these big stacks of money, things like that, 24:49 and I remember thinking when I was a kid, 24:51 how I used to hang on every word that these rappers said, 24:55 that is one of the reasons why I jumped in... 24:57 I didn't have a problem selling drugs at 12 years old, 24:59 I was thinking, "This is the next step 25:01 in my progression of life, 25:04 of these values that I've adopted" 25:05 and I remember getting older and realizing that, 25:08 "Man, life is getting crazy, this is dangerous, 25:11 we're out there living this lifestyle that I've heard 25:14 through our music and running the risk 25:16 but I don't see these dudes out here," 25:18 it's like... you know what I'm saying... 25:21 I don't see a lot of people talking about this stuff 25:23 you know, actually, I hear them talking about it, 25:25 rapping about it for all of these years, but... 25:28 That's because most of them don't live that lifestyle, 25:31 they never did. 25:33 Exactly. And you learn that stuff later. 25:35 And then I got friends who are rappers and what not 25:38 and, you know, right there in the city 25:41 some who even owned studios, and I learned that, 25:43 I'm like, "Wow, most of the ones 25:45 who are rapping and talking about that... 25:46 they're not the ones that are actually doing that" 25:48 I mean, guys who are actually living 25:50 and doing most of that stuff, 25:51 I'm like, they could even stay on of tune if they wanted to, 25:54 they can stay on the beat if they wanted to, 25:56 you know what I mean? 25:58 Isn't it sad that... you reach a place where 26:03 you're so focused on getting things 26:08 and fame and all that, 26:10 that you just lose sight of who you are, 26:13 God wants to give us a better life, an abundant life, 26:16 Satan wants to just... he uses, you know, 26:20 smoking mirrors, like, they all look so great and 26:24 everybody is all glamorous and happy and stuff... 26:27 but people are miserable, I was in the music business 26:31 and I got to see how you can make a lot of money 26:34 but most of the people I knew were miserable people 26:38 and it's not because... 26:40 well, it is because you're making the wrong choices 26:46 so you guys, for you, 26:49 you both made some really bad choices, 26:53 we've all made bad choices, so this is not a judgment thing 26:55 but you've made some bad choices 26:59 and yet, you're here today... God brought you here today 27:05 so we got to find out how you got to where you are 27:09 but... I do need to... you have something to say? 27:11 I am dying to know how you guys met 27:13 that's what I want to know... how you met 27:16 because you have very similar backgrounds 27:19 so at what point did your paths cross, 27:22 and how did you guys meet? 27:23 Well, here in the States my mother... 27:32 like I said, my mother is always faithful, she was always praying 27:34 my mother was the type that... I'd get home 27:37 it didn't matter what hour of night 27:39 and she'd be crying, 27:42 she'd been on her knees all night praying 27:43 that her son would make it 27:45 so she was always there praying and... 27:47 as you get older, and you have your routine, 27:49 but my mother had her routine, 27:52 which was always... praying for me 27:54 I stopped really going to church regularly, 27:58 but I would drop in every now and then 28:00 when I needed my blessings 28:01 when I had court coming up or something 28:03 I wanted some favor with God, I'd drop in to church, 28:08 so here's... so the thing is... my mother used to always... 28:10 on one occasion, she lost her house 28:12 and me and my brother had an apartment 28:14 and my mother was living with us 28:16 and she would always bring people to eat lunch on Sabbath 28:19 and so on one occasion I went to church 28:22 and sat there and I looked and I saw this pew full of 28:28 good-looking women just to be honest, 28:33 that's how I thought back then and I told my mother, 28:36 I said, "Ma, if you're always going to be bringing people 28:38 into my house, making me... it's our apartment 28:41 making me uncomfortable, why don't you start with 28:44 those over there, 28:46 why don't you bring some young ladies, you know," 28:50 my mother being who she is and doing... 28:54 she'll do anything to see her son come into the Kingdom 28:57 some weeks later, or whatever, she shows up... 29:00 and my wife and her sisters were with her 29:05 because my wife... she said she would go to church 29:07 even if she was hungover, she was whatever... 29:10 but she would make an appearance 29:13 so, I guess, my mother invited them at some point, 29:16 and her father who was staying at her house then 29:19 from El Salvador, and they came by 29:21 so we met, but very briefly, 29:23 I don't remember much about her at all 29:25 but later on... I was working at this big event hall 29:29 where we were doing this big Reggae tone concert 29:32 and we crossed paths again 29:36 and that's where we really got to know each other 29:39 and whatever, and fortunately, 29:41 it was very secular, 29:43 it would be like the Spanish club doing hip hop, 29:46 we got to know each other then, 29:48 we started going out, partying, 29:50 and we were two peas in a pod, there were a lot of similarities 29:57 obviously in our lives but... after not too long... 30:02 she wound up getting pregnant, and I'm saying "she" 30:07 as though I didn't have any involvement in it, 30:09 but she wound up getting pregnant... 30:11 Yeah, we know, you had some involvement in it. 30:15 So, anyways, we had a daughter 30:20 so now you have this strange scenario 30:22 where it's like... we both grew up, 30:24 we know... kind of... about messing and what's right 30:28 and we both made tragically bad decisions 30:30 and we both passed the climax of 30:32 the craziest moments in our lives, 30:33 for the most part. 30:36 Hmmm... so you're not any longer at the peak of that... yeah... 30:38 We're not at the peak anymore, 30:40 every now and then though, probably like every other week 30:44 there would be a night where I got so drunk 30:46 where I would go back and revisit the peak, 30:48 you know what I mean? things like that 30:49 but she was a little more... she was a little more stable, 30:53 we were passed the peak, but we had a daughter now. 30:55 Shortly after my daughter was born, 30:57 I got locked up for a few months and got out and my mother... 31:03 my mother invited her daughter, 31:07 took her daughter to an Evangelistic Campaign 31:09 so I kind of got past how we met 31:12 and I'm kind of getting into the next part 31:15 No, good, good, go... 31:16 My mother took my daughter to an Evangelistic... 31:19 my step-daughter now, her daughter who at the time was 31:23 Nine or ten years old. 31:26 Ten... took her to an Evangelistic Campaign 31:27 and she made the decision 31:30 that she wanted to give her life to Jesus, 31:31 in spite the fact that we never had... 31:33 and that she grew up seeing a lot of crazy things around 31:38 and my wife did not want her... 31:40 did not want to let her make that decision. 31:42 I opposed that decision, 31:44 I was like, "You're not getting baptized" 31:47 I remember her standing up for the call 31:49 and I grabbed her and said, "Sit down, what are you doing?" 31:51 And she was like... "Mom, I want to get baptized" 31:53 and I was like, "You don't know what you're doing" 31:56 so the next day or the second day... 31:59 I don't remember exactly, but the same week, 32:01 they made the call again and she stands up... 32:03 And you were there? 32:05 Yeah, I was there too 32:06 and she's like, "Mom, I want to get baptized" 32:09 so she just got up and my mother-in-law came 32:11 and said, "You have no right to tell her what to do, 32:15 if she wants to give her life to Jesus, just let her do it" 32:18 and to me that was like a slap in my face 32:21 because I knew God was after me 32:23 but I didn't want to make the commitment 32:27 I was like... I wasn't ready, in my head, I'm like, 32:30 "No, I need to change so many things 32:32 before I come to the Lord, I can't do this" 32:33 so that was kind of saying, 32:35 "Sorry, I cannot give you my life at this moment, Lord" 32:39 so she got baptized, 32:41 and that's how everything started. 32:42 And it was pretty powerful because at that time 32:45 we didn't... you know... we might drop in occasionally, 32:51 but she would frequently the church a little more, 32:53 but our daughter made that decision 32:56 so on weekends we'd be still drinking, 32:59 hanging out, partying... doing whatever, 33:01 she'd be getting herself ready on Friday night 33:03 closing the door, cutting off the TV, 33:06 putting on Christian music, 33:08 waking up Sabbath morning early and getting ready 33:11 for church and my mother would pass by and pick her up 33:13 even though we were still 33:14 irresponsible and not on the same page. 33:17 What kind of affect did that have on you guys 33:21 seeing her being faithful to the Lord 33:24 and living out... 33:25 Well, it changed me completely because I was like... 33:29 thinking... I think, you know, 33:30 "What am I doing with my daughter's life?" 33:33 And then I already had another baby 33:35 and I was... all the time... 33:38 trying to get out of my lifestyle but I couldn't, 33:40 and I tried to get out of that life 33:44 but I couldn't do it, and now I had two kids 33:48 and I was like, I mean, now I have another baby 33:51 that is going to see all my craziness, 33:53 I need to change and I was so tired of my lifestyle 33:57 I was like, "done" but I couldn't change, 34:00 my lifestyle was more stronger 34:07 than, you know, the desire to change, 34:09 I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it... 34:12 Yeah, and I was kind of... I would say, 34:15 I was kind of in the same place where I wanted to change, 34:17 I wasn't focusing a lot on 34:19 the good decisions that she was making, 34:21 I was just thinking like... "Wow! she's a pretty good kid," 34:24 because at that age, you know, I was the opposite, 34:27 being forced to do right, and being rebellious 34:31 and I remember thinking I was crazy 34:33 because of the things that she had seen 34:34 and the way she had grown up with all these challenges 34:39 but I wanted to change also because my daughter was born 34:43 and I felt like... I really felt like... 34:45 like the lowest thing on the earth 34:47 I was still getting high everyday, 34:49 getting drunk every day, running around with wild friends 34:52 looking for... sneaking out of the house 34:53 not to my mother, now I'm doing it to my wife 34:57 I'd let her fall asleep and I'd get out this door somehow, 35:01 but I couldn't change, and that was the thing, you know 35:05 you want to change but you want to do it somehow 35:07 without God, I couldn't, as a matter of fact I remember 35:10 one time when I was sixteen, this is kind of going back, 35:13 I remember once when I was sixteen, 35:15 I found myself in handcuffs, 35:16 I had committed a crime with a firearm, 35:20 and I found myself handcuffed 35:24 and I was thinking, "Man, I'm going to get 35:25 locked up for a while" 35:27 and I said, "God," I hadn't prayed in a long time, 35:30 and I was like, "God, if you get me out of these handcuffs 35:32 somehow, you know, I'll stop it all, 35:35 I'll stop drugs, I'll stop selling, 35:38 I'll stop carrying firearms, I'll stop drinking, everything, 35:42 everything... just whatever you want, 35:44 just get me out of this situation" 35:45 and miraculously I got out of that situation, 35:48 like literally, like... I got out of that car, 35:52 there wasn't like going to Court, 35:53 like... I got out, and I remember being like... 35:57 "Oh man, now I got to pay the piper" 35:59 so I tried and I remember it lasted three months 36:04 and I just couldn't, it was... 36:06 I had already been living this life for like... four years, 36:10 three or four years and the addiction was too strong 36:14 and I couldn't stop so I fell back into drugs, into alcohol 36:16 and every time I tried to quit after that, 36:18 I would stop for a very short time, 36:19 a couple of weeks I would last, 36:21 and I'll fall... plunge in deeper than ever 36:23 the only times I was clean 36:24 was being the times when I was locked up 36:27 so, it was one of these things where life had proven to me 36:30 through time, now I'm in my mid-20s 36:33 and life had proven to me that the one thing I knew 36:36 was I didn't have the power to change 36:38 and I want change but I want to do it without God 36:41 so I never got changed and now I'm seeing this kid, 36:45 my step-daughter, making these good decisions 36:49 and it makes you feel like even more of a scumball 36:52 because you just kind of like, "Wow! I'm just really... " 36:55 you know... "I'm just really not... " 36:58 "I'm just a really negative force" 37:00 Right. 37:01 And so what was going through your head 37:03 as all this was going on 37:04 because you were kind of on the fence 37:07 and you saw your daughter but then you saw him going out 37:13 I mean, what was going on in your head? 37:15 I wanted to change, like I said, 37:18 and I said, "I need God again, I need God" 37:22 so I remember one night coming from partying all night 37:25 I got on my knees and I said, "Lord, I'm so tired of this life 37:29 if you change me, I'll change, 37:31 I don't promise anything because 37:33 I know I have tried so many times, 37:35 and I cannot change, so if you can do it, prove it" 37:39 and then... I just felt the desire 37:42 that I need to give my life to God, 37:44 a desire that I didn't have before, 37:48 and a couple of months or a year maybe 37:51 after my daughter got baptized, I started going to some... 37:57 what do they call, prayer meetings, no... 37:59 Bullón Campaign... 38:01 Oh, Evangelistic Campaign... 38:03 With Alejandro Bullón, I'm sure you've heard of him. 38:09 And every time they make that call, 38:11 I felt like I couldn't stand, 38:12 I felt like something holding me back 38:14 so I just prayed in my head and said, 38:17 "Lord, you know, I want to give you my life, 38:18 so I'm not going to stand because I know Satan is here 38:22 and I don't want him to know 38:23 because every time I try to make a change, 38:25 something worse happens" 38:26 and the day came that I decided that I'm going to get baptized 38:31 and it was in the Campaign, 38:34 they didn't want to baptize me 38:36 that day because they said, 38:37 "Hey, you're not going to be in the TV Show" 38:39 I said, "I don't care about the TV Show, 38:40 I just want to get baptized. " 38:41 The thing is... she said the TV show... 38:44 it's because I actually just found out 38:46 a little while ago, is that 38:48 when they did that Campaign, 3ABN was there 38:49 so they were recording it 38:51 so I guess somebody got the impression 38:53 we didn't even know what 3abn was, 38:55 at that time, 38:57 and I guess somebody... somehow got the impression 39:00 or they just thought that maybe she was wanting to do it 39:02 because it was a big deal, 39:03 they were doing it out at Berean Church 39:05 and because it was on TV 39:08 but she didn't care about that. 39:10 No I didn't and finally the Pastor said, 39:13 "Okay, but you have a problem, you are not married 39:16 you need to solve that" 39:18 and I said, "Yeah, I'm going to take care of that later 39:20 but I want to get baptized today" 39:22 and the truth is... 39:24 that I felt like... that was my last call 39:26 I felt like God told me, "This is it, this is it," 39:29 I mean, I felt like my eternity life was playing right there, 39:34 yeah, it was tough. 39:36 The Holy Spirit was working on you so profoundly 39:39 letting you know, "This is it. " 39:41 Yes, it was like that. 39:43 This is it, it's so interesting to me that 39:46 both of you had tried on so many other occasions 39:49 you were sick of your life, you didn't want to... 39:52 you didn't want that lifestyle but you couldn't stop 39:55 and you said it Pastor, you said, 39:57 you tried it without God Hmmm... hmmm... 40:01 and it only goes to show that without God 40:05 we cannot make these permanent changes. 40:08 Exactly, there's no way... no you can't... 40:11 You can't... we're powerless, 40:13 when Satan has you in his clutches, 40:15 you cannot get out without God. 40:18 We have to have God, so at that point 40:21 you said, "I have to do this now. " 40:25 Yes. And you got baptized? 40:28 Yes, and before that, he called me that day 40:31 and he said, "I have tickets to see this... Pitbull," 40:34 Pitbull... and it was free for me because he... 40:38 Free... like VIP tickets... 40:39 Oh! the Artiste... Yeah the Artiste... 40:41 Oh! I thought you were talking about a dog... 40:43 I thought you were talking about a dog. 40:46 It was free tickets with all free drinks 40:50 and it was supposed to be like the weekend after... 40:53 I tried... I didn't know... I forgot all about that... 40:57 I didn't even remember. 40:58 And I told him, "No, I'm not going to see him" 41:00 I was trying to talk her out of that... I said, 41:01 "Hold on a week because we've got to go... " 41:02 He wanted me to do that and I said, 41:06 "No, I'm not going, I already made a promise 41:08 that I'm giving my life to God, 41:10 I'm not going to that concert" 41:11 and he tried to push me to go 41:13 and I have a feeling if I had gone that day, 41:16 something would have happened to me, 41:18 I don't know, maybe God will reveal that to me 41:21 you know, later. 41:22 Another interesting thing was, I guess, 41:25 right after she got baptized and on our way to the house, 41:28 basically she was like, "You got to go... 41:32 we weren't married so we can't live together. " 41:36 I'm like, "That's ridiculous, 41:37 I mean, we've been living together for a while now, 41:40 and we have a daughter together that doesn't even make sense" 41:46 but she's like, "No, but you got to go 41:51 or... until we're married... " and so she kicked me out 41:56 and the way that my mindset was in that time 41:58 I was just kind of like... "All right, cool, whatever... " 42:00 because, you know, I get to go for a while out 42:03 and live life the way I want to do anyways 42:05 and then I'll just drop in when I want to... 42:08 hey, better for me... but I remember, 42:10 after a while, I was sitting and thinking, 42:11 "Well, I don't want to lose her" because she was good, 42:15 she was a good woman, I mean, she is a good woman. 42:18 Xinia: she was... 42:20 You're going to get into trouble buddy. 42:22 And so we wound up getting married 42:29 not too long after that 42:31 but I just kept living my life 42:34 the way I'd always kind of like... lived my life 42:37 and it was just... 42:38 I think I was making her life hell 42:40 because she was a recovering alcoholic 42:41 I was still an alcoholic, 42:43 she was trying to be faithful to God 42:45 meanwhile, I wasn't even worried 42:47 about being faithful in my marriage, you know what I mean? 42:49 You were on two different pages... 42:51 On two different pages and now... 42:53 it's kind of like the whole family is switched 42:55 and I didn't want her to get baptized initially 42:57 because I was sitting there thinking, 42:58 "Man, I already grew up with a fanatical mother 42:59 who is always like... praying, 43:02 who wants to run the household in a particular way 43:04 and now my wife is going to do the same thing," 43:07 so now I wasn't... I was... to a certain extent... 43:09 see... because you grow up but it doesn't mean 43:11 you're an adult or you're mature, 43:12 just because you're older, so I was kind of like this thing 43:15 I was just a... I was a "father" and a "husband" 43:18 but I was just an older version of the kid that I was 43:23 in the house back then, 43:24 but I remember just drastically wanting some kind of a change, 43:30 at one point my wife winds up doing these... the church... 43:35 our church which is the church that she went to 43:39 our home church, my mother's church, 43:41 which was the same church in Atlanta, 43:43 the same one, just relocated, 43:45 and they wound up doing these... 43:47 Evangelistic Campaigns were from home 43:49 so people would... different people in their homes 43:51 would host these campaigns, 43:52 my wife was telling me about it, she was inviting me to it, 43:54 and I'm like, "Yeah, right, 43:56 that's like the last thing I want to go to 43:57 and as a matter of fact, 43:58 I don't even want it in my house" 44:00 because, you know, 44:01 I wanted to show up "high" and drunk like I do every day 44:04 and I don't want people sitting in my living room 44:08 like... I've seen these campaigns before 44:09 this is the kind of stuff my mother used to try to do 44:12 to reel me in, like... I don't want that in my house, 44:15 so I wasn't going, but I remember one day 44:17 I went out and... the first day of it, I went out 44:21 and there was a football game 44:22 and we had gambled on this football game 44:25 and won and I got like... really intoxicated, 44:29 and I remember getting emotional for some reason 44:32 you know, when you've had just too much 44:34 and just thinking about life and I remember 44:36 God telling me like... 44:38 "Man, you're a real piece of work, 44:40 you're wife is doing this for you 44:41 and you won't even support her she held you down 44:44 when you were locked up and she's a good mother 44:47 taking care of the kids, working... " 44:48 so I called her up and I said, 44:51 "I'm sorry I didn't go tonight, I'm going to go tomorrow 44:53 but I'm just going to go to that one though... 44:56 so just don't get like any crazy ideas, 44:57 this is only for one day... " 45:00 well, the next day I woke up and I knew I had too much to drink 45:03 because I woke up and remembered that I had promised 45:06 I would go to this religious service 45:07 and I was like, "Oh, man, I'll never drink again" 45:09 you know what I mean, 45:10 but I went after work that night and it was probably like 45:14 you know, I was always stopping to get drinks 45:17 and to get "high" but at that night I went straight there 45:20 because we had this coming up and I didn't want to show up 45:22 there intoxicated and we showed up and it was like, 45:25 it was awkward as I had expected, 45:28 and it was like the worst preacher I'd ever heard, 45:30 like the dude who was doing it, 45:33 and he was sitting there like... 45:35 there were only a few people there, 45:36 a few visitors there, and he's sitting there like... 45:40 talking... and he's like just looking 45:41 only at me and making an appeal to me 45:43 and I was sitting there, looking at the guy like... 45:45 "Yo, I've actually drank with this guy before" 45:47 you know what I mean, 45:49 he used to hang out with my brother... 45:50 and I'm sitting there... 45:51 Wow! Oh, he had his life turned around or...? 45:53 Yeah, his life was turned around, 45:54 his life was turned around. Okay... okay. 45:56 But see... I wanted to turn his life around some more... 45:59 in a different way, because I'm sitting there like.. 46:02 "Man, you know, this brother is in my house, 46:04 putting me on the spot 46:05 about making this decision for Jesus 46:07 and I'm only here because I feel obligated... " 46:10 so anyway, the day went by, I mean, the service finished 46:16 everybody went home and I was like, 46:17 "Maybe this is fine to go out and... " 46:20 it just felt wrong to go out and get drunk now, 46:23 so I just went to sleep, but I woke up the next day 46:25 and I don't know what it was, 46:28 but I felt this peace like I never felt in my life, 46:30 I remember getting in the car 46:32 and I used to love to do what they call, "wake and bake" 46:35 get "high" like... first thing in the morning 46:39 I used to like that, 46:40 and I remember that morning 46:43 it felt like that but a thousand times better 46:48 to the "worldly mindset. " Yeah. 46:50 It felt like this ultimate peace, 46:52 it felt like the ultimate "high" that I had always been chasing, 46:54 I felt so stretched 46:56 and I felt a feeling that I had never felt before 46:58 I remember driving on my way, I'm driving to work, 47:00 and God telling me like, "You know that feeling? 47:03 That's me, 47:04 that's the feeling you've been chasing your whole life 47:06 but you can't find that... apart from me 47:08 I'm giving you a sample now, 47:10 you can have this but you can't have it apart from me 47:14 and you've been chasing it, 47:16 but you can't have it apart from me" 47:17 and I remember arguing with God in the car the whole time 47:20 and the funny thing is, 47:21 I had hip hop station on like I always do, 47:24 but I even stopped, I turned it down because, 47:26 I'm sitting there like having a conversation with God 47:28 and to be interrupted with Young Jeezy or something 47:31 would be disrespectful so I had to turn it down, 47:33 I remember even stopping to put some gas 47:35 and I got back in the car 47:36 and when I got back in the car at some point, 47:37 I turned the radio back up and it was on a gospel station 47:39 it didn't even make sense. 47:41 So you hadn't changed the dial, 47:43 you had just turned up the volume. 47:46 Yeah. And it's on a new station now. 47:48 It's on a gospel station now. Wow! 47:50 Because I had like a Sirius XM Radio 47:51 and I remember driving and I'm sitting there like... 47:56 "God, you know, I want you, 47:57 I want you in my life and I want to be a better follower 47:59 and be a better this and I want to be a better that 48:00 but I'm going... " 48:03 I started making up all these excuses 48:05 and a song comes on and the song was... 48:08 I never heard it before, I didn't listen to gospel music 48:10 but the song, I found out later 48:12 was Dwaye Woods, "Let go and Let God" 48:14 and God starts talking to me through the song 48:17 and I'm making up excuses 48:18 and He's talking to me through the song 48:19 I'm saying, "But I don't want to lose all my friends" 48:21 He's like, "It's okay, let go and let God" 48:22 I'm like, "Wait, wait... but my family members... 48:24 they're just going to turn their backs on me, 48:26 none of them are Christians," 48:27 He's like, "Let go and let God" 48:29 I said, "But my job, how about if I... 48:30 I got to quit working on Sabbath" 48:31 He said, "Let go and let God" 48:34 for every excuse I'm making, 48:35 He's saying, "Let go and let God" 48:37 so as I pulled to the Parking Spot on my job 48:40 and I literally put my car on Park and the song turns off 48:43 and I felt like God was telling me the same thing. 48:45 He was saying, "Now or never" 48:46 so, 48:48 I made a decision right there, 48:50 I said, "Okay, I'm going to make a decision" 48:51 and I made a decision to follow Jesus Christ 48:53 but I said, "Now you know, 48:56 I got more than a decade where I've been trying to stop 48:59 all these different bad habits that I have, 49:01 I've been trying to quit, but I can't quit, 49:04 so I'm not making you any promises 49:05 because every time I made you a promise, I failed you. 49:08 I'm just going to let you know that 49:10 I'm putting it in your hands and that's up to you 49:13 that... you know... that following... doing that... 49:16 living a 'Christian life,' that part is on you 49:19 all I'm saying is... I'm putting my life in your hands" 49:23 and as the Lord is my witness, 49:27 God did something miraculous that day, 49:29 it's like He stuck a syringe in and extracted 49:32 every desire to get "high" from me, 49:35 after 13 years of addiction and every desire to drink... 49:39 That same day... that very day. That same day. 49:41 That day, He took the pornography addiction 49:44 and he took the sexual addiction, 49:45 he took the alcoholism addiction 49:47 He took... you know... 49:50 I wasn't even convicted on the need to stop smoking thing... 49:52 but by the end of the week, I was 49:54 and He took that that day when I handed that over, 49:57 He just taught me that, 49:58 "Yeah, you can't do anything apart from me, 50:00 but with me, you can do anything" 50:02 now, one powerful thing is that I didn't realize is that 50:07 the day I said I was going to give my life to Jesus, 50:11 and I went to the small group, I went back to that small group 50:14 and I just made mention of it there 50:19 and then I found out later on 50:20 that my wife had begun a 40-day prayer and fast 50:24 because it was just... I was just... 50:28 it was just too hard carrying out this relationship, 50:31 it was her burden, it was her cross and 50:32 she'd begun a pact with the Lord 40-day prayer and fast, 50:37 and with 1/2 day fast and prayer for our relationship 50:41 because she couldn't take it anymore 50:42 and had said that in those 40 days if something didn't change, 50:44 she had to go or something had to happen, 50:45 I didn't realize that the day that I gave my life to the Lord 50:48 was the 40th day. Hmmm... hmmm... 50:51 Wow! oh this is so... you know... 50:54 if you're giving me chills as we were talking about how... 50:57 I can't get over how loving God is, 51:02 how He just... He wants so badly to save us 51:05 and how He will just go to all lengths to save us 51:09 and here you both were, at a place where, 51:12 you know what, if you didn't do it that day 51:16 it felt like, that was it. 51:17 That was it, 51:19 the Holy Spirit was chip, chip, chipping away 51:20 that was it, and both of you 51:24 gave in to the Holy Spirit, yielded to Him and 51:28 Xinia, you interceded for your husband. 51:31 Hmmm... hmmm... 51:33 you interceded for your husband and carried that, 51:36 what was going on... when you heard that from him, 51:39 that that very day he gave his heart to the Lord, 51:42 and that was the end of your 40-day fast, 51:46 what went through your head? 51:48 I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe it... 51:50 I was like, "I think he's just playing around" 51:53 She literally thought that I was lying that day. 51:56 I couldn't believe that, I'm like, 51:59 "No, he's just playing around, 52:00 he's trying to convince me that he is going to change, 52:02 and... but then... the next Sabbath, 52:05 he was with his Bible in the church, 52:07 Sabbath School and I was like, "Wait a minute, he's in church, 52:11 he's early... he's carrying his Bible, 52:14 something is wrong," and I couldn't believe that 52:17 that God had made the change 52:19 and so that day, and you know... 52:22 By the end of that week, I mean, by the end of the week 52:24 I had a friend that I would get high with 52:25 every day and he was going... 52:27 he went to those meetings by the end of that week, 52:28 you know what I mean, it was... 52:30 I mean, God really does a work on us, a number on us, 52:33 I wanted to say about the... now... about the feeling 52:36 like God was saying, "Now, another thing... " 52:38 I felt like that was a very real message 52:41 I understand it because I remember even in hearing Him 52:44 in the car right that day saying, "Now or never" 52:45 I was thinking, "Yeah, God, but you don't work like that, 52:48 because I've heard enough people trying to share the gospel 52:51 to know that you never close your door on us, 52:54 that's not how you work" but I felt it very loud, 52:57 "Now or never... " so I made that decision that day 53:00 well about three months down the line, 53:02 I wound up having to switch jobs because of Sabbath 53:05 which is a whole 'nother cool story 53:07 about how God opened up and got me a job 53:08 that I wasn't even qualified for 53:10 working at the Home Depot Headquarters 53:13 doing Human Resources, 53:14 I was just really unqualified for that 53:15 but I remember I had just started that job 53:17 when I got a phone call one morning 53:19 from a cousin of mine saying, 53:21 "Hey, hey, I wanted to make sure you were all right" 53:23 I said, "Why?" 53:24 He said, "Man, because they rounded everybody up, 53:26 they locked everybody up," 53:27 I'm like, "What are you talking about?" 53:28 He goes on to fill me in that 53:30 a lot of my closest friends were like brothers to me, 53:33 they had all gotten rounded up 53:35 into some drug-trafficking sting, 53:37 I had gotten a call from one of them 53:40 just a month earlier, not even a month earlier, 53:43 about going to make the most money 53:44 that I would ever make in my life, 53:46 something I would have jumped on, 53:47 but because I had just given my life to the Lord, 53:51 I said, "I won't, I'm not going to do it," 53:54 well, it turns out they were all being... 53:58 there was surveillance going on and all sorts of things, 54:00 they went and scooped them all up, 54:02 ten years, fifteen years, twenty-year sentences... 54:07 Wow! and I just think, 54:10 had I not given my life to the Lord, 54:12 just a couple of months earlier, 54:14 as a matter of fact when I got that phone call 54:16 the Lord is my witness, 54:17 I was literally giving my first Bible Study ever 54:19 to a friend that day... Wow! 54:21 at the very moment, when the phone rang, 54:24 so, you know, God is just so good... 54:27 He is... Amen... 54:28 because His ways are better than our ways... 54:30 Yes, yes, it was now or never... 54:33 And your testimonies show how powerful God is, 54:39 how faithful God is, Yes... 54:41 and how God will bless your efforts 54:43 when you earnestly seek Him, 54:45 you asked him to change your life. 54:48 Amen, praise God... Hmmm... hmmm... 54:51 That is so... so incredible... 54:53 I'd like for you to, 54:54 in the few minutes that we have left, 54:56 both of you, one at a time, 54:58 look into your camera over there, 55:00 and tell... for you Xinia, 55:02 tell that wife that has a husband 55:07 who's not a believer, get her to hold on... 55:10 tell her what to do, 55:11 and you, 55:13 Pastor, if you would look into the camera 55:16 and tell that young man that's searching 55:18 that's getting "high" every day, that's doing... that's partying, 55:21 what he should do, 55:22 we have like 30 seconds a piece. 55:25 Never give up, 55:26 keep praying and trust in the Lord 55:29 He will do a miracle. 55:30 Amen... 55:34 Well, to anybody out there 55:37 who is aimlessly searching for satisfaction, 55:40 for fulfillment in something that the world has to offer, 55:43 if you've been doing it long enough, 55:45 you realize that you're searching for a 55:47 pot of gold at the end of the rainbow... it doesn't exist, 55:51 but just realize that God's plans for you are so much better 55:55 than your own plans for yourself, 55:56 I praise God I got a beautiful family now 55:58 I got a great career, 56:00 now I've seen many friends come to the Lord, 56:04 as has my wife, and God is just so good 56:09 but there are areas in our lives that we would love to change 56:13 and we can change them momentarily 56:15 but we will always revert back to our old ways 56:19 unless we experience transformation 56:21 and transformation can only come through Jesus Christ, 56:24 so my challenge to each and every one of you listening 56:28 is to give Jesus a chance, 56:29 you don't have to change yourself 56:31 and I think that's what we hold back many times 56:32 we think, "Well I'm not going to take that step 56:34 because I'm not ready 56:35 you'll never be ready, you need to realize 56:38 that there is nothing that you can do 56:40 and that Jesus has to do it in you, 56:42 and the second you give up, 56:43 that's when God can start doing something, 56:45 so the best advice I can give you 56:47 is to go to Him... but to give up... 56:49 leave it in His hands and allow Him to do the work 56:53 and the transformation that you can't do for yourself. 56:56 Amen, amen, let's put your website up 56:58 because we have a website for you. 57:00 Oh, I don't have a website. Oh you don't? 57:01 I have an e-mail, 57:04 if somebody would like to contact me 57:06 if I can pray for you, 57:07 if I can help in any way that's my e-mail address 57:09 and also I can be reached at 404-957-7409. 57:15 Thank you so much Pastor 57:18 and you are Pastor and First Lady... where? 57:20 Yeah, I'm pastoring right now in Vermont, 57:23 in Northern New England Conference, 57:25 I have three churches out there and we have a radio station 57:27 well, we stream 3ABN Radio out there, 57:30 School, Health Store Ministry so, God is good, God is good. 57:35 God is so good, wait there is so much more 57:37 that we could talk to them about, right Jay? 57:38 Yeah, we can do a two-hour Special. 57:40 I know, I know, we should have done two hours 57:42 well, thank you so very much for being with us, 57:44 and for being so transparent 57:46 and thank you so much for tuning in, 57:49 I can't believe we're at the end of another Program 57:51 please join us next time, 57:54 trust the Lord 57:55 and remember... if you don't join us, 57:57 it just wouldn't be the same without you. |
Revised 2016-01-27