Participants: Yvonne Lewis (Host), Christian Berdahl
Series Code: UBR
Program Code: UBR000202A
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00:01 Stay tuned to meet a man whose journey through hardship
00:03 and abuse will inspire you, 00:04 he is an overcomer and you can be too. 00:07 My name is Yvonne Lewis 00:09 and you're watching Urban Report. 00:34 Hello and welcome to Urban Report. 00:36 My guest today is Christian Berdahl, 00:38 President and Founder of Shepherd's Call Ministry. 00:41 Shepherd's Call Ministry is an Evangelistic, 00:44 Singing, Speaking and Video Production Ministry 00:47 dedicated to sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ 00:50 throughout the world, in ways that challenge 00:53 and inspire souls to connect with him. 00:56 Welcome to Urban Report Christian. 00:57 Thank you... thank you for having me... 00:59 it's so good to be here. 01:00 Oh, it's so great to have you, 01:01 you know, I've seen you on 3ABN before, 01:05 I've heard some of your music and I was in the D.C. area 01:10 when you were there with 01:12 Yolanda Palmer and the Ten Commandments... 01:16 what a beautiful project, what an amazing project... 01:20 It was a blessing to be a part of it. 01:22 Yes, yes, yes, yes, and the testimony that you gave 01:26 was mind-boggling... 01:28 I had no idea that you had gone through all of that... 01:31 and I thought, "Wow, I really want to have you on Urban Report 01:35 to talk about your journey. " 01:37 Sure... 01:38 So let's talk about your journey... 01:40 tell us about your family, 01:42 what kind of upbringing did you have? 01:44 were you born into a Christian family? 01:46 No, actually I was born into the absolute opposite, 01:49 my mother was 16 years old, 01:50 my father... when she got pregnant with me, 01:53 my father was 18... 01:55 and my mom just turned 17 when she had me, 01:57 by that time, my father was already a daily drinker at 19, 02:01 he was addicted to prescription drugs... 02:04 that he would steal from his parents and neighbor adults 02:08 and so, the addiction started very early 02:11 and my parents stayed together, had two more children 02:15 and when I was about 7 years old, 02:18 my mother got tired of moving around from place to place... 02:22 by the time I was seven, we had moved 13 different times 02:25 so an average of two times a year we were moving out 02:28 because when you don't pay the rent, you get kicked out 02:30 and so, my dad wasn't coming home, 02:33 he was an alcoholic, a drug addict and unfortunately 02:40 he was not faithful in his vows to my mother 02:42 and finally my mom had had enough and she divorced him. 02:45 And so... the beginning start of our life 02:48 was quite turbulent. 02:51 Yeah, so, your mom and your dad were kids... 02:53 Yes... 02:55 That's really the bottom line 02:56 they had not been developed, they had not... 02:58 they were just kids when they got together 03:01 kind of putting the cart before the horse 03:03 right, and so, they got together 03:05 and they weren't ready to be parents. 03:08 No, I mean, how does a child raise a child? 03:10 Exactly... babies having babies, right? 03:12 So, they were together for awhile... 03:15 but then, your mom just couldn't deal with it anymore 03:18 and she... they divorced. 03:20 What really broke the... 03:22 the straw that broke the camel's back, to use a phrase, was... 03:26 we were at a friend's house for a Sunday cookout and barbeque 03:30 and he got drunk as he always would 03:34 and it was time to go home 03:36 and he wouldn't give my mother the keys 03:37 and he drove all of us home 03:40 and he was just all over the road 03:42 and she was begging and pleading for him to stop... 03:44 and to pull over... and when we got home, 03:49 thank God... she said, "That's it... I'm leaving" 03:53 and she divorced him. 03:55 And they never reconciled, they never... 03:58 No, I mean... you can't reconcile 04:00 when one party doesn't see their issues and doesn't change. 04:03 Hmmm... hmmm... 04:04 And that was the state of mind that my father was in. 04:07 So, was your family like many others 04:10 when the father and mother divorce, 04:12 children are out of the dad's life too 04:15 or did you still have contact with him? 04:17 Well, we did have contact with him, 04:20 my mother was careful that the contact we had 04:23 was supervised and that was Court ordered, in fact, 04:26 because he was a danger to us. 04:27 I remember one of those weekends, 04:30 when... he had been doing pretty good... 04:33 he was in the Military, he thought, 04:35 "I'll join the Military... I'll get clean, I'll get sober there" 04:37 he found drugs and alcohol in the Military, unfortunately, 04:40 and so, now, he's just partying with his Commanding Officers 04:44 and he just went deeper into his addiction, 04:47 on one weekend, 04:49 he seemed like he was doing better, so my mom said, 04:51 "You can have the kids over at your mom's house... " 04:53 at my Nana's and unfortunately 04:56 she didn't realize he fell off the bandwagon 04:59 and he was even deeper into his addictions than ever 05:02 and on my tenth birthday on one of those visiting sessions 05:07 his bright idea was to give me my first beer 05:10 and go to the store and rent a couple of pornographic movies 05:15 and we three little boys sat there watching this... 05:18 going... "What is this?" 05:20 and unfortunately, later that night 05:23 my father, just being jacked up on those drugs 05:28 and on that alcohol... 05:29 molested myself and my middle brother Aaron so... 05:33 And this was the first time 05:35 that that had ever happened, he hadn't molested you before? 05:38 It's the first time that I remember 05:39 and I have no reason to believe it happened before. 05:42 Right... man! Christian... I mean that is so... 05:46 that's so painful... it wasn't even your step-dad, 05:49 it was your dad... 05:51 Yeah, and it became a big secret, frankly, 05:54 and my brother and I... we never talked about it.. 05:56 even when we were little, we never... 05:58 we just never said anything until we were adults 06:00 and we told my mother 06:02 and, of course, my mom just fell apart. 06:03 Yeah... yeah... so... you saw your dad this time 06:08 and that happened... 06:10 were you put back into his care ever again, did it happen again? 06:14 It was never without my grandparents around... 06:17 and that's just because it naturally happened that way, 06:21 there's a weird thing that happens in a little boy's mind 06:24 when you want your dad... 06:27 and so I was afraid if I told anybody, 06:30 I'd never be able to see him again 06:32 and I just had this deep desire to have my father in my life. 06:37 Sure, well, it's natural... that's your daddy... 06:39 Yeah, that's right... 06:40 And... and the confusion that must ensue 06:43 as a result of that because it's something 06:46 that... it's an intimate act... but you know it's not... 06:50 Christian: No, you know it's not right. 06:52 Yvonne: There's something wrong with it, when it's your dad... 06:54 and you don't want to get him in trouble. 06:55 Right. 06:56 Because you want to see him again 06:58 because that's your dad 06:59 so it's got to give you a lot of confusion. 07:01 Yeah, and it did... for both myself and my brother. 07:04 Hmmm... hmmm... so, what happened after... 07:07 after that happened, did you have any confusion 07:10 when you went to High School 07:12 did you have any kind of confusion... sexual confusion 07:16 when you went to High School? 07:18 Yeah, I didn't have any necessarily... 07:19 I do remember wondering why I never said anything 07:23 and then several other things began to happen 07:27 unfortunately, when my mother divorced, 07:29 when I was seven years old, she put us in daycare 07:33 and I had a babysitter's teenage son... 07:38 when it was time for naptime, 07:39 he was molesting about six of us little boys, 07:41 so this wasn't the first time it happened, 07:43 it happened at seven and then at ten... 07:47 and so, I've got these two massive secrets 07:49 and you do start to wonder, 07:51 "Maybe I didn't tell because I like boys... " 07:54 maybe... so you start wondering about this... 07:58 and indeed there wasn't anything there about that 08:01 but why didn't you say anything, why didn't you tell? 08:04 See the victimization of children 08:07 is so impactful... it's like... 08:11 the child takes it on himself, like, "What did I do?" 08:16 Like... because I've heard this story time after time, 08:21 and to me it bespeaks of the great controversy 08:25 because God... Satan is trying to destroy you. 08:30 He sees the potential that you have 08:33 and he wants to destroy you, 08:34 so he plants that seed in you through that molestation 08:39 and the confusion begins, not... 08:43 you're a victim and you don't even know 08:45 like, how does it happen to me here 08:48 and then here and then here? 08:50 So, oh... my heart just goes out to kids who are victimized 08:58 who, thank God... you grew up 09:01 and the healing power of God has taken over your life, but... 09:03 Amen... 09:04 So, so... how did you deal with that? 09:07 The molestation attempt, were you able to tell 09:10 did you... what did you do? 09:12 I didn't... we never told anybody, 09:14 both my brother and myself 09:15 and so we just kept these secrets 09:17 but you have to understand 09:19 a year after my mother divorced my biological father, 09:22 she married my step-father 09:24 who turned out to be our worst nightmare, 09:27 I mean, he was physically abusive, mentally abusive, 09:31 had emotionally... and he was just... 09:34 he was... just a very evil man, 09:37 I don't know any other way to describe it 09:40 than "he was just an evil man" 09:41 and we learned how to put on this facade 09:46 and act like everything was okay 09:48 when everything was absolutely falling apart 09:51 and a disaster in the privacy of our own home 09:54 or at my step-father's business 09:56 so, I had learned how to basically live a lie... 10:01 Hmmm... 10:02 And so, that was just one more lie 10:04 I had to live that everything was fine, 10:05 and if I told anybody then we'd be in trouble, 10:08 I'd be in trouble, my step-dad held it against us 10:11 and said that if we ever said anything to anybody 10:13 he'd kill our mother 10:15 and if my mother ever said anything, 10:17 he would kill her children and so, 10:19 we were all stuck and we were all trapped 10:21 so, you just don't tell anybody and that was part of that, 10:25 you just don't tell anybody. 10:26 And that's part of the whole survival thing, 10:29 like, "I can't survive... if I tell... " 10:33 or "my mom won't survive if I tell. " 10:35 Right... so you have to do what you have to do. 10:37 Right, right, so how did you negotiate 10:40 through all of that and what was happening to you... 10:44 spiritually... did you realize that there was a need, 10:47 did you not realize it yet? 10:49 No, when you're raised in such an oppressive environment, 10:53 it's like, "Kill or be killed" almost... 10:56 it's like... you have this survival instinct 10:58 and you learn... kind of where the parameters are, 11:01 and how to operate within that and unfortunately, 11:04 as demonic and as inappropriate and unhealthy as it was, 11:08 that's just your "normal. " 11:10 Yes, yes, that's right. 11:12 That's just what it is... you know... 11:14 I would see other people 11:15 who were being affectionate with their children 11:18 and my heart would go out and I'd think, 11:20 "Oh, I just want that too... " and then, 11:22 the next thought would come, 11:24 "I wonder if he's molesting him?" 11:25 you know, so there was this massive... 11:27 like you say, great controversy going on inside of my... 11:29 my mind and in my heart and so, 11:32 I just wanted to be a healthy, obedient son 11:36 and have a great healthy father 11:38 and that just was not what I was dealt. 11:39 Yvonne: Right... 11:41 And how do I negotiate it? 11:42 You just... you just pack it down and you pack it down... 11:45 that's not what I recommend now but that's what I was doing then 11:48 and I didn't feel like I had anybody I could go to... 11:52 that I could trust because I knew they weren't... 11:55 I didn't know these terms... they weren't "equipped," 11:59 they didn't have the tools in their toolbox to help me. 12:02 Right, right, so at school, there wasn't a Counselor? 12:05 Eventually, at... 12:07 in my Sophomore year of High School, 12:09 so, this is almost ten years now 12:11 that we lived through this tyranny 12:13 and the oppression and... 12:15 I mean... horrible physical abuse, 12:17 for my mother and for us boys, we've been beaten, 12:21 we've been whipped, we've been tied up... 12:24 my mother covered her black-and-blue bruising 12:26 with her clothing and it was just horrible 12:28 you know, so, finally, I went to a Counselor 12:30 and I started talking about my neighbor 12:33 that has these problems and how can we help him, 12:36 what would happen and... I was just sending up 12:38 like a weather balloon and just finding out... 12:41 what... the last thing I needed was, 12:43 her to call my step-dad and say, 12:44 "Hey, Christian's telling us some stories here... " 12:46 Exactly... 12:48 And then I knew we'd really be in trouble 12:51 so, basically, we came up with a plan 12:54 and I sat my parents down... 12:56 they do it a lot differently today but, you know, 12:58 30-something years... 35 years ago... 13:02 and I sat them both down and I told them, 13:04 "I've been talking to a Counselor at school 13:06 and I have a phone number 13:09 and if you touch any hair on any of our heads again... 13:13 there will be investigations 13:15 and there'll be convictions... there'll be jail time. " 13:18 Now, I didn't say it like I was so amazing and strong, 13:21 that type of thing, I mean, I was... 13:23 I was just a teenager. 13:25 Yvonne: I'd be scared to death. 13:26 I was absolutely scared... I am meeting 13:29 and I'm looking at the man that held us captive 13:32 for all those years and finally saying, 13:34 not what he wants to hear... 13:36 he lights up like a... like a missile, 13:38 he goes back to the back of the house 13:40 just yelling and screaming expletives... 13:42 that was our normal way of life... 13:44 and my mother... I'm sitting here thinking, 13:46 "I did it... I did it... " and I was like... 13:49 "Oh... " inside I'm still shaking... 13:51 I'm sick to my stomach and I look at my mom 13:54 and I'm like... I know... my mom... and... 13:56 and then... she gets up and I'm thinking, 13:58 she's going to come over and go, "Okay... " 14:00 and she goes after him... and she... I mean... 14:03 she went after him... and a couple of moments later, 14:06 she comes out and she's like, all crying and all upset... 14:09 he had just flipped her little brain again, 14:11 and she comes out and says, 14:14 "Why are you doing this to us? 14:16 I spank you too, I'll be in trouble too... " 14:19 and the reality was, my mother didn't beat us... 14:22 she didn't use torture... she... 14:25 the things he would do was... 14:27 it's things you would see in a bad movie, 14:30 you know, and... and... fortunately though 14:34 it finally started a process where she began to wake up 14:37 and she... it was at a class at her job 14:40 and at this point, she was involved in 14:44 Human Resources at her Bank 14:45 and they invited a guest speaker to come in 14:49 and they asked a question, "What's important in your life?" 14:53 Yvonne: Hmmm... 14:54 And my mom had to stop and think... 14:56 which I don't think she had done for almost ten years, 14:59 "my children... " was the one... 15:03 and then number two... "my children... " 15:06 and number three as she just broke down, 15:09 she wrote, "my children... " 15:11 and she realized we were no... 15:13 we were not in a safe place again 15:15 and she had put us there... again, 15:17 she woke up... and she went to the Police Department 15:22 and said, "I'm living with a dangerous man, 15:25 how do we get out because we have guns 15:28 and rifles and shot guns in the house... " 15:32 we were hunters... and they said, 15:36 "You need to get all the ammunition out of the guns 15:39 and when do you want to do this?" 15:41 She said, "Let's do it on Saturday... " 15:43 and she had arranged for her family 15:45 to come with moving trucks to move us out, 15:47 the police were there, and she told him... 15:50 and the police said, "You need to go... " 15:53 Yvonne: She told him while the police were still there? 15:55 Christian: Oh yeah, yeah, 15:57 we weren't going to take any chances, 15:59 he just didn't have everything together 16:01 emotionally and mentally and so, 16:06 we escaped... we were free... 16:10 Yes... yes... you know... the whole mentality 16:14 of the "battered woman" people will say, 16:16 "Why didn't she just leave, why did...?" 16:19 it's not that simple. 16:21 Christian: It's not that simple. 16:22 Yvonne: It's so complicated. 16:23 Christian: Because I asked my mom that for years, 16:25 "Why did you stay so long, 16:27 didn't you see what we were going through?" 16:29 And she knew it... and many times she would step in 16:32 and take the brunt... when we were younger 16:34 but as we got older... it landed all on us 16:37 and so she... she... 16:40 I have a DVD Series that we did on the whole story, 16:44 a three-hour documentary on this story 16:46 and I interviewed my mother and I said, 16:49 "Why did you stay so long?" 16:50 I asked her the question again, and she... you see her eyes... 16:53 she was like... "I thought I was going to die" 16:55 and you can just see it in her eyes... 16:58 that is what she believed to her core 17:00 and she was protecting us... 17:02 this is... a strange way of thinking... 17:04 she was protecting us by staying... 17:06 because she was afraid of our lives 17:09 being in danger as well 17:10 and he had said that that would happen. 17:12 Yes, I... it's to me... 17:15 when you're involved in that whole chaotic thing... 17:18 you can't... sometimes you can't think clearly... 17:22 and praise God that... that Speaker came to the job that day 17:26 Christian: Absolutely. 17:28 And something triggered in her brain and she realized 17:31 she had put her children in jeopardy... 17:34 well, what an amazing story and how can people get that... 17:37 how can people... because this documentary sounds amazing. 17:40 It is truly amazing... 17:42 I believe God really put His fingerprint on it 17:45 and we go over the story but not only that... 17:48 but learning points... 17:49 what should children do if they have been touched 17:52 and those things are happening 17:54 because I don't want to just talk about my story 17:56 if we don't give them some tools 17:57 so, it's entitled, "Broken to Breakthrough" 17:59 and it's a journey of faith, hope and forgiveness. 18:04 Yvonne: Hmmm... 18:05 And it's available at our website: shepherdscall. com 18:09 and our goal, frankly, is to... to use this 18:14 and have people use this in their churches... 18:19 in Christian Schools... to where they can create 18:24 an environment of safety and trust 18:26 that perhaps a young person could say, 18:28 "Perhaps I really need to talk to somebody. " 18:31 Oh, that's so good because people need to know 18:33 that there is a way out. 18:35 And there is... amen... there is... 18:38 There is a way out, how did you find the Lord? 18:41 That's an amazing story, it really is, 18:43 it started out with my... 18:48 actually I would like to say this first, if you don't mind. 18:49 Yvonne: Yeah... yeah. 18:51 Christian: My brothers went from 18:52 us escaping... and following in my father's footsteps, 18:57 they got involved in drugs and alcohol, 19:00 drug manufacturing, jail, prison... you name it... 19:03 and I went a different way, I just... I decided... 19:06 I made a choice and there's a lot of power in a choice 19:09 and I made this choice to put the past behind me... 19:13 I didn't do it healthfully in the sense of... 19:14 I learned how to deal with this and how to give it to God 19:17 and let God start to fix my heart and my life 19:20 but I got involved in Theatre 19:22 and I got involved in singing, dancing and acting, 19:26 and that was my way of escape... 19:28 my brothers' way of escape 19:30 was through the drugs and alcohol. 19:31 Fast forward a long time... 19:33 I'm in TV Production 19:37 and I had started Companies with some friends 19:41 and we were wildly successful and then one of my Partners 19:44 had just destroyed the Companies financially, 19:47 embezzling from the Company and I lost everything 19:49 so I got my foot back into TV Production 19:52 and I let every Producer I knew out there, 19:55 "I'm going to work as a freelance Director... 19:57 I'm good to go... " 19:59 I had already done professional sports, Nickelodeon, PBS, ESPN, 20:03 so, I was ready to go... I... 20:04 Yvonne: Right, you had a résumé. 20:06 Yeah, and I'm comfortable at the Switcher frankly, 20:08 I'm much more comfortable back there than up here 20:10 and so, I was hired by a Producer 20:14 to go and shoot a Camping Meeting... 20:17 and so, I said, "Okay, great, what's it about?" 20:20 he goes, "I don't know Camping... " 20:22 so, I went to Lodi Grape Festival Grounds 20:25 there in California looking for a man named Danny Vierra... 20:29 who is a health teacher in the Seventh-day Adventist Church, 20:32 I didn't know all this... but little did I know 20:35 that I was going to be shooting four days of religious material 20:38 and I was just hating my life, I thought, 20:41 "How much lower can my Production career get?" 20:44 I mean seriously... I was... I was like, 20:48 "Whatever... I guess my whole life is ending now... " 20:51 but the reality is... as I was sitting there 20:55 learning more and more, I was realizing... 20:58 at first I'm switching... "okay, ready one... take one... 21:01 one... you're live... two... go... " 21:03 but you know... I'm doing all the stuff that I would do 21:05 and then I'm starting to get drawn in as I'm listening 21:08 and I'm like, "Wow! I never knew that... 21:11 now, I never knew that... " 21:12 and so, that was the beginning 21:14 but it would be a process of a number of years, 21:19 Danny befriended me and my fiancé and myself... 21:24 we had moved away... I was going to go to Film School 21:27 to become a Hollywood Film Director, 21:28 is really what I wanted to do and I got her pregnant, 21:32 kind of following in the tracks of my parents, 21:35 I was much older but nonetheless I was not prepared and ready 21:39 long story short... we lose the baby at 4 and 1/2 months, 21:42 it's a trying time, 21:44 life's spiraling out of control 21:47 we moved to Arizona to be where her parents were, 21:49 I couldn't find a job in Production 21:51 which had never happened before, 21:52 but God said, "Okay Angels... watch this... " 21:56 Yvonne: Yes, yes, yes, come on... come on... 21:58 Christian: Yes, amen, So all of a sudden, 22:00 I'm sitting here and I have this overwhelming desire 22:03 to go see my friend, Danny, 22:04 well, my whole life is falling apart 22:06 and as I'm sitting there telling him what's going on, 22:08 he's like... "This is great... " 22:09 and I was like, "This is not great, 22:12 I'm no longer intimate with my girlfriend... " 22:13 because God had impressed me not to be... 22:16 I was already a healthy guy because I was... 22:20 I embraced his health laws that he taught, 22:23 because I was a pretty sick guy and so, 22:26 it was a lot of things, I can't say, "It happened here" 22:29 it took me like... three solid years to finally go, 22:33 "I give up Uncle... " 22:35 Yvonne: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's interesting to me that 22:39 you had begun this journey like, 22:43 people in the world are not thinking about abstinence, 22:47 Christian: No... not at all. 22:48 Yvonne: They're not... some are thinking about... 22:50 Christian: And that was nowhere in my mind either. 22:52 Yvonne: Yeah, but the fact that the Lord impressed you 22:54 with that... even when you were out there... that's amazing. 22:59 Christian: That is amazing... yeah. 23:00 Yvonne: And then... He had brought you to Danny... 23:03 Danny Vierra and of course, Danny is saying, "This is great" 23:06 you're like, "What? Like, how could this be great?" 23:09 Because he saw what God was doing in your life. 23:12 Christian: He saw it because spiritual things 23:14 are spiritually discerned. Yvonne: Yes. 23:15 Christian: And so I went on this journey with Danny 23:18 and we started studying and before you know it, 23:19 I said to him, "Is everything you believe 23:22 that clear in the Bible?" 23:24 When we studied about the Sabbath truth. 23:25 And he was like, "Everything... " 23:27 and I went, "I'll probably become 23:30 a Seventh-day Adventist, huh... " 23:32 he goes, "You will... " seriously... 23:34 and here's what I discovered was... if you study the Bible 23:38 and the Bible alone... let the Bible interpret itself 23:40 and you start to see prophecy and you can tell that God knew 23:43 the end from the beginning 23:45 and He tells you all these things that are going to happen, 23:47 I didn't even know that there was such a thing 23:48 as prophecy in the Bible, 23:50 and I'm sitting here... learning... 23:51 and if you let the Bible interpret itself... 23:52 not tradition, not what you think, 23:54 not your preconceived ideas 23:55 but let the Bible be your teacher, 23:57 with the Holy Spirit teaching you, 23:59 I think the most logical thing to become 24:01 is Seventh-day Adventist... I honestly... I do. 24:03 Yvonne: Well, I agree. 24:05 Christian: Yeah, at least if you're an honest skeptic. 24:07 Yvonne: And if it weren't... what are we doing here? 24:09 Christian: Yeah, what's this all about? 24:11 Right, right, yeah, so, how old were you 24:13 when you decided to surrender your life to Christ? 24:16 Yeah, I finally surrendered when I was about 26 years old. 24:18 Yvonne: Okay... 24:20 And I went on that studying quest, 24:21 I couldn't get enough, before you know it, 24:23 I'm asking Danny, "I want to give my heart to Jesus Christ" 24:26 and here's the key for me, 24:27 when my picture got big enough of Jesus Christ, 24:33 when I really saw who He was and what He wanted for me 24:36 and God the Father... 24:38 you see, I never trusted a father before. 24:41 Hmmm... 24:42 I never trusted a father before... 24:44 and now I have God the Father and... and I... 24:47 my picture of Him is big enough to where I saw 24:50 He could help me with my big problems. 24:53 Hmmm... 24:54 And He began to help me and I began to break, 24:58 and I began to weep like I had never wept before 25:01 and it's like this... it was like this purging 25:05 that began to happen in me 25:06 and then God gave me these gifts eventually, over the years, 25:09 it didn't happen quickly but where I started to see my... 25:12 my parents through God's eyes, 25:14 as sinners and as His children 25:16 who had been not treated with and dealt with properly 25:18 when they were young 25:20 and all these things and God gave me this new perspective 25:23 where I could say, "Wow! I hate what happened to me 25:27 it doesn't excuse it but it explained why things happened" 25:31 and eventually what began to well up in my heart was 25:34 this amazing thing called forgiveness. 25:37 I was going to ask you that. 25:39 And even empathy... 25:40 You were able to forgive your dad and your step-father. 25:43 Yeah, absolutely, the hardest things for me 25:45 were to forgive my mother and my biological father, 25:48 it was even easier to forgive my step-dad 25:50 on all the evil things that he did... than those two 25:52 because my mother kept us there and every time she'd apologize, 25:57 I'm like, "Okay, how many times do you have to apologize, 26:00 five, ten, twenty and then finally... you believe it?" 26:03 What I didn't realize was 26:05 the apology doesn't fix anything in the past, 26:07 it creates an opportunity 26:09 to perhaps go forward in the future. 26:11 Hmmm... 26:12 And my mom had repented and said she was sorry 26:15 and so we built this beautiful relationship, 26:17 she is a Christian... she now ministers to... 26:21 to ladies that are abused with their children. 26:23 Hmmm... 26:24 My brothers got clean and they've been clean... 26:27 my youngest brother for eight years, 26:29 my brother... my middle brother that was abused with me, 26:34 he's been clean five years, 26:36 they both have ministries of their own now. 26:37 Oh... praise God. 26:39 And so, God gave us all forgiveness in our hearts 26:42 and it's something that only comes from heaven 26:44 because I can literally, honestly say today, 26:47 "If my evil step-father were to be in heaven as my neighbor, 26:53 I'd be okay with that. " 26:55 And my biological father found Christ... 26:57 in fact, through a 3ABN Program and I wish I could tell you that 27:01 but we're running out of time. 27:02 I can't believe this! 27:04 It's amazing... it's absolutely amazing... 27:05 and he's now a Christian and our relationship has been healed 27:10 so everybody in my family are now Christians, 27:12 we're all healed, and there is hope, 27:15 no question, there's hope. 27:16 Praise God, what a beautiful ending, even though, 27:20 your life is still evolving, so to speak, 27:23 but what a beautiful ending to such a tragic beginning! 27:27 Yeah, and you know what? I wouldn't change it 27:29 because it gave me some tools that I have 27:32 resilience... and in God's work you need to have that, 27:34 and just stick-to-itivness... and all those types of things. 27:36 Yes... 27:38 And so, I change it 27:39 but I wouldn't wish it on anybody either. 27:40 Exactly, exactly, I know... I know what you're saying 27:43 you... you... yeah... it's been a journey 27:46 but you're thankful that God brought you through 27:49 and we're thankful for you. 27:51 Thank you so much for being with us. 27:53 Well, we've reached the end of another Program, 27:55 join us next time because you know what? 27:57 It just wouldn't be the same... without you. |
Revised 2016-10-26